200+ Mulla Nasrudin Stories and Jokes

Rodney Ohebsion

Published by Rodney Ohebsion at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 Rodney Ohebsion

http://www.rodneyohebsion.com

Introduction

Mulla/Hodja/Hoca Nasrudin is the starring character in a vast number of amusing tales told in regions all over the world, particularly in countries in or near the Middle East. Each tale depicts Nasrudin in a different situation, and through his viewpoint they humorously reveal commentary and lessons on various life themes. The great allure of the Mulla Nasrudin tales is that they are funny as well as lesson filled, philosophical, and thought provoking.

The Mulla Nasrudin Character

Mulla, Hodja, and Hoca are titles from various areas of the world that in early times were used to signify a learned man.

The character Mulla/Hodja/Hoca Nasrudin is sometimes wise, sometimes foolish, and sometimes both. He is a unique spin on a wise sage or philosopher character.

Much of Nasrudin’s actions and can be described as illogical yet logical, rational yet irrational, bizarre yet normal, and simple yet profound. What adds even further to his uniqueness is the way he gets across his messages in unconventional yet very effective methods.

Origins and History

Mulla Nasrudin tales have been passed down for many centuries. It is thought that the Mulla Nasrudin character is based on a real man who lived in the 1300s. However, many countries claim to be the origin of the actual Mulla Nasrudin character and his tales, and it remains uncertain where the man lived and the stories started.

But whatever the origins of Mulla Nasrudin are, pinpointing them has become a trivial point. As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to broader regions. The types of themes and wisdom in his tales have

become legendary products of a variety of people’s observations and imaginations. And although most of them depict Nasrudin in an early small village setting, the tales deal with concepts that have relevance to today’s universe and people.

Today, Mulla Nasrudin stories are told in a wide variety of regions, and have been translated into many languages. (It can only be assumed that some regions independently developed a character similar to Mulla Nasrudin, and the stories have become assimilated together.)

In many regions, Mulla Nasrudin is a major part of the culture, and is quoted or alluded to frequently in daily life. Since there are thousands of different Nasrudin stories, one can be found to fit almost any occasion.

Sufis also use Nasrudin stories frequently as learning and meditation tools, similar to the way Zen Buddhism practitioners use koans.

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The Loan Request

Nasrudin struck up a conversation with a stranger.

Ar one point, he asked, “So how’s business?”

“Great,” the other replied.

“Then can I borrow ten dollars?”

“No. I don’t know you well enough to lend you money,”.

“That’s strange,” replied Nasrudin. “Where I used to live, people wouldn’t lend me money because they knew me; and now that I’ve moved here, people won’t lend me money because they don’t know me!“

The Moving Friend

“Nasrudin,” a friend said one day, “I’m moving to another village. Can I have your ring? That way, I will remember you every time I look at it?”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “you might lose the ring and then forget about me. How about I don’t give you a ring in the first place—that way, every time that you look at your finger and don’t see a ring, you’ll definitely remember me.”

Mad at the Fakir

A Fakir claimed that he could teach any illiterate person to read through an “instant technique.”

“OK,” Nasrudin said. “Teach me.”

The Fakir then touched Nasrudin’s head and said, “Now go read something.”

Nasrudin left, and returned to the village square an hour later with an angry look on his face.

“What happened?” asked the villagers. “Can you read now?”

“Indeed I can,” replied Nasrudin, “but that’s not why I came back? Now where is that scoundrel Fakir?”

“Mulla,” the people said, “he taught you to read in no more than a minute. So what makes you think he’s a scoundrel?”

“Well,” Nasrudin explained, “I was just reading a book that asserted, ‘All Fakirs are frauds.’“

Nasrudin’s Delicacy

Nasrudin and two other travelers stopped to eat the lunches each of them had packed for their journey.

One of the travelers bragged, “I only eat roasted salted pistachios, cashews, and dates.”

The other said, “Well, I only eat dried salmon.”

Then both men looked at Nasrudin, waiting to hear what he would say.

Seconds later, Nasrudin held up a piece of bread and confidently announced, “Well, I only eat wheat, ground up and carefully mixed with water, yeast, and salt, and then baked at the proper temperature for the proper time.”

Man Demands Justice

One day, a man ran into Judge Nasrudin’s room and said, “I was just robbed at the border of this village! It must have been someone from here, and I demand justice! The robber took everything from me—my shoes, my pants, my shirt, my coat, my necklace, and even my socks…he took everything, I tell you! I demand justice.”

“Well now,” Nasrudin replied, “I see that you are still wearing you underwear—so the robber didn’t take that, did he?”

“No,” replied the man.

Nasrudin responded, “Then I am sure he was not from here, and thus I cannot investigate your case.”

“How can you be so sure?” the man asked.

“Because if he were from here, he would have taken your underwear as well. After all, we do things thoroughly around here!“

Woman Demands Justice

A woman and man came into Judge Nasrudin’s room one day.

The woman complained, “I was just walking on the street the other day, when this man, whom I never met before, came up to me and kissed me! I demand justice!“

“I agree that you deserve justice,” Nasrudin said. “Therefore, I order that you kiss him and take your revenge.”

I Only Think of Others

Monk: “I have achieved an incredible level of disattachment from myself—so much so that I only think of others, and never of myself.”

Nasrudin: “Well, I have reached a more advanced state than that.”

Monk: “How so?”

Nasrudin: “I am so objective that I can actually look at another person as if he were me, and by doing so, I can think of myself!“

Sack of Vegetables

Nasrudin snuck into someone’s garden and began putting vegetable in his sack. The owner saw him and shouted, “What are you doing in my garden?”

“The wind blew me here,” Nasrudin confidently responded.

“That sounds like bull to me,” was the reply, “but let’s assume that the wind did blow you here. Now then, how can you explain how those vegetables were pulled out from my garden?”

“Oh, that’s simple,” Nasrudin explained. “I had to grab them to stop myself from being thrown any further by the wind.”

“Well,” the man continued, “then tell me this—how did the vegetables get in your sack?”

“You know what,” Nasrudin said, “I was just standing here and wondering that same thing myself!“

Nasrudin is Beaten Up

Nasrudin decided to wear elaborate Arabic clothing one day. When he came home, his wife noticed that the clothing had been torn up to shreds.

“What happened to you?” his she asked. “Did you get beaten up?”

“Yes,” Nasrudin replied.

“But why?” she inquired. “It’s not like people beat up others for wearing an outfit like that.”

“Well,” Nasrudin said, “tell that to a group of Kurds who are looking for an Arab to beat up.”

Cold Day

It was a cold winter day, and a heavily dressed man noticed Nasrudin outside wearing very little clothing.

“Mulla,” the man said, “tell me, how is it that I am wearing all these clothes and still feel a little cold, whereas you are barely wearing anything yet seem unaffected by the weather?”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “I don’t have any more clothes, so I can’t afford to feel cold, whereas you have plenty of clothes, and thus have the liberty to feel cold.”

Meal or Preaching?

The local religious leader invited Nasrudin over for dinner one night.

Nasrudin, not having eaten much that day, was famished when he got there, and eger to eat as soon as possible.

After two hours, however, the religious leader had yet to offer Nasrudin any food, and instead spoke nonstop about a variety of religious topics.

As Nasrudin grew more annoyed with each passing minute, he finally interrupted the man and said, “May I ask you something?”

“What?” the religious leader answered, eager to hear some religious question that would prompt him to continue talking.

“I was just wondering,” Nasrudin said, “did any of the people in your stories ever eat?”

Are You Asleep?

Nasrudin was lying on his couch with his eyes closed.

His brother-in-law went up to him and asked, “Are you asleep?”

“Why do you ask?” Nasrudin replied.

“I was wondering if you could lend me three hundred dollars,” said the other.

“Well,” answered Nasrudin, “let’s return to your fist question—‘Am I asleep.’ The answer is yes I am—so leave me alone!“

Son Searching For a Wife

Nasrudin, knowing his son was looking for a wife, asked him what type of wife he wanted.

“One who is intelligent and expressive“ the latter replied.

“OK,” replied Nasrudin, “I’ll help you find such a woman.”

So as part of his plan, Nasrudin led his son to the town square. He then slapped his son in front of all the people and exclaimed, “This is what you get for doing exactly what I told you to do!“

One young lady saw this and remarked, “Stop hitting him. How can you punish him for obeying what you said?”

When the son heard this, he turned to his father and said, “She seems like the right woman for me—don’t you think so?”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “she is certainly expressive and intelligent, but perhaps ther’e a woman out there who isan even better fit for you.”

So Nasrudin led his son the neighboring area’s town square and repeated the same scene. This time, a young lady saw this and said, “Go ahead and hit him. Only a fool would follow orders so blindly.”

When Nasrudin heard this, he said to his son, “The first woman, she was intelligent and expressive—but this woman is on an entirely higher level altogether. I think we’ve found your future wife.”

Nasrudin Plays Guitar

Nasrudin was at the town square one day, and a group of people asked him if he knew how to play the guitar.

Nasrudin didn’t know how, but he replied, “Yes, I do. I am a masterful guitar player—in fact, I am one of the best in the world!“

The people, expecting him to make such a boast, immediately produced a guitar and asked him to play it.

Nasrudin took the guitar and started playing only one string, and continued to play only on that one string. After a minute of this, someone finally interrupted him and asked, “Mulla! Guitar players move their fingers and play a variety of strings. Why are you only playing one of them?”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “those players keep on changing strings because they are searching for a specific one. I found it on my first try—so why should I switch to another one?”

Nasrudin Gets a Cow

One day, Nasrudin’s wife told him, “Let’s buy a cow so that we can have milk every day.

Nasrudin replied, “We don’t have enough space in our yard for my donkey and a new cow.”

But despite Nasrudin’s objection, his wife persisted until he finally gave in.

So he bought the cow—and just he predicted, it crowded his beloved donkey in the barn. This prompted Nasrudin to start praying one night, saying, “Dear God, please kill the cow, so my wife can’t bother me about it anymore, and so my donkey can live in peace.”

The next day, Nasrudin went into the barn and was dismayed to discover that his donkey was dead! He looked up and said, “God, I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but let me ask you this—after all these years, do you mean to tell me that you still can’t tell the difference between a cow and a donkey?”

“Stand On One Leg”

A group of robbers broke into Nasrudin’s house one night and demanded Nasrudin’s money.

“Sirs—” Nasrudin said “—if I could, I would gladly give you a million dollars; but unfortunately I am rather low on funds right now, and only have this twenty dollar bill in my pocket.”

And with saying so, Nasrudin took out the bill and handed it to the robbers.

They, however, were greatly angered, and decided to spend the night at Nasrudin’s house and punish him. “Stand on one foot for the rest of the night!” they demanded.

Nasrudin did as he was told, and the robbers went to sleep while one stayed on guard. After an hour, the guard said to Nasrudin, “Listen, I’ll let you switch to the other leg.”

“Oh, thank you,” Nasrudin replied. “You’re a much better person than the rest of your group. My money is actually in my shoes in the closet. You can go take it—but don’t give any to them.”

Man is Stuck in Tree

One day, a local man climbed up a rather tall tree.

Shortly thereafter, however, as he tried to make his way back down, he soon discovered that the trip down might not be as easy as the trip up. In fact, try as he might, he simply could not figure out a way to get down the tree without putting his body at great risk of falling to the ground.

He asked a few passers-by for help, but no one knew what to do.

A few local people gathered near him and tried to help, but he remained stuck.

Then Nasrudin walked by and devised a plan. He threw a rope up to the man and said, “Tie this around your waist.”

The people nearby wondered about what Nasrudin was doing. They asked him his plan, but he calmly replied, “Just trust me—this works.”

When the man had the rope tied around his waist, Nasrudin pulled on the rope. Upon his doing this, the man fell from the tree and hurt himself. The bystanders, horrified to see this happen, remarked, “What kind of a plan was that?”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I once saved someone’s life doing the exact same thing.”

“Are you sure,” one man asked.

“Yes,” Nasrudin replied. “The only thing I’m not sure about is whether I saved him from a well or from a tree.”

Flat Bread

The tax collector in Nasrudin’s town was corrupt and accepted many bribes. One day, the mayor asked the tax collector to present his records for examination.

Upon studying them and realizing that they were falsified, the mayor, infuriated with rage, shouted to the tax collector, “Not only are you fired, I also order you to eat these papers you have presented me while we all watch!”

So he did as he was ordered, while the court attendants watched in amazement as he ate all the paper. Soon the news of what had happened spread throughout the town.

About a week later, the mayor appointed Nasrudin as the town’s new tax collector. When the mayor asked him to present his records the next week, Nasrudin handed him noon-eh-lavash (flat bread) with the records written on them.

The mayor asked, “Why did you write your records on noon-eh-lavash?

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I saw what happened to the other guy, so I wrote these on bread just in case you would make me eat them as well.”

The Guarantee

One day at the King’s court, the King turned to Nasrudin and said, “Mulla. Since you are constantly reminding us of how clever and wise you are, tell me this: can you teach your donkey to read?”

“Absolutely,” replied Nasrudin. “A task like that would present me with no problems whatsoever.”

“Don’t mess with me,” said the King. “Seriously, can you do it?”

“Yes, I mean it,” Nasrudin replied, “and I’ll tell you what: just give me fifty thousand dollars right now, and I’ll guarantee I’ll have this donkey reading within eight years.”

“OK,” said the King. “But that donkey isn’t reading by then, I’ll put you in prison and have you tortured daily.”

So they agreed, and Nasrudin left the court.

The next day, Nasrudin’s friend asked about what happened.

“Are you out of your mind?” he said. “You can barely teach your donkey to stand still, and now you’ve guaranteed that he’ll be reading within eight years. Nasrudin-I don’t see how you’ll be able to escape a long prison sentence for this.”

“Listen,” the Mulla calmly replied, “several years from now, our King will probably be dead or out of power. And even if he manages to last as our King for that long, odds are my donkey will have passed on by then. And in the unlikely event that neither he nor my donkey is gone by seven years time, I’ll still have an entire year to plan my way out of getting punished.”

Nasrudin Wants a Divorce

Nasrudin went to the village judge and asked to be granted a divorce from his wife.

But when the judge asked what her name was, Nasrudin replied, “I don’t know.”

Greatly surprised to hear this, the latter asked, “Well how long have you been married to her?’

“Five years,” said Nasrudin.

The judge, now in a state of disbelief, had to ask once again.

“Do you mean to tell me that after five year of marriage, you do not know your wife’s name?”

“That is correct,” Nasrudin replied.

“Why not?” asked the judge.

“Because,” Nasrudin explained, “I did not have social relations with her.”

The Triplets

Nasrudin’s wife was pregnant and due to give birth any day.

One night, as they both slept, she turned to him and said, “Husband, the baby is coming.”

And on her saying so, Nasrudin lit a candle and watched his newborn baby come out.

But minutes later, he watched as yet another baby come out. And just minutes after that, he watched his wife give birth to a third child.

Finally, after seeing three babies ___ , Nasrudin blew out the candle.

“Why did you do that?” asked his wife.

“Well,” said Nasrudin, “while the light was on, one child was born, and then another, and then another. If I had kept it on, who knows how many more there would be!“

The Baby is Crying

Late one night, Nasrudin’s baby started crying.

Nasrudin’s wife turned to him and said, “Husband, go take care of the baby. After all, he is not only mine—he is also half yours.”

Nasrudin sleepily remarked, “You can go stop your half from crying if you want—but as for me, I will let my half continue to cry.”

Man Searches for Joy

One day, Nasrudin began talking to a man from another town. The man lamented, “I am rich, but I am also sad and miserable. I have taken my money and gone traveling in search of joy-but alas, I have yet to find it.”

As the man continued speaking, Nasrudin grabbed the man’s bag and ran off with it. The man chased him, and Nasrudin soon ran out of the man’s sight. He hid behind a tree, and put the bag in the open road for the man to see.

When the man caught up, he located the bag, and his facial expression immediately turned from distress to joy. As the man danced in celebration of finding his bag, Nasrudin thought to himself, “That’s one way to bring joy to a sad man.”

Nasrudin is Taken to Court by His New Wife

About a year after Nasrudin’s first wife died, he married a widow.

As they lay in bed one evening, she said, “You know, my first husband was a really exemplary person.”

Nasrudin, annoyed to hear about her first husband, responded, “Well, my first wife was incredibly lovely and charming.”

“Well,” she replied, “my first husband was a fabulous dresser.”

“My first wife was a tremendous cook,” countered Nasrudin.

“My first husband was a brilliant mathematician,” replied the other.

“My first wife was a masterful organizer.”

“My first husband was remarkably strong.”

And as they both continued trading praise of their deceased spouses, Nasrudin became so annoyed that he pushed his new wife off the bed, causing her to injure her hand.

Infuriated and wanting justice, she took him to the local judge and told him what happened.

After the judge heard her account of what happened, he turned to Nasrudin and said, “OK—now let’s hear your side of the story.”

“Your honor,” Nasrudin said, “we have a bed that fits only two people. But last night, when my first wife and my new wife’s first husband were added, my new wife was pushed off the bed, fell, and hurt her hand.”

Cow Gets Stuck

One day, a cow drinking water from a container got its head stuck in the container’s narrow passage.

The cow’s owner and various passersby noticed what had happened, and some tried to prod the cow’s head out—but alas, the cow remained stuck, much to the

Then Nasrudin walked by.

“What happened,” Nasrudin asked.

“My cow’s head is stuck in that container,” replied the animal’s owner, “and we don’t know what we should do. Mulla, do you have any ideas?”

Nasrudin examined the cow and container, and then said, “Cut off the cow’s head.”

So the man followed Nasrudin’s advice, causing the cow’s head to drop into the container.

“What should I do now?” the man asked.

“Break the container,” replied Nasrudin, “and take out the cow’s head.”

A Burglar in the House

As Nasrudin and his wife lay in bed one night, the latter woke Nasrudin up and, full of distress, said, “Nasrudin-I hear a burglar in our house! Go get him!“

Nasrudin calmly replied to her, “I think we’d be better of just letting him do what he wants. After all, we don’t have anything good for him to steal; and if we’re lucky, he might leave something for us.”

“Don’t be absurd, replied his wife, “That won’t happen.”

“Well then,” said Nasrudin, “perhaps he’ll find something good to steal, and then I can steal it from him.”

Nasrudin Almost Falls into a Lake

One day, Nasrudin slipped and nearly fell into a lake, but was caught by a friend walking next to him.

From then on, every time Nasrudin encountered the friend, the latter was sure to bring up the incident and make a big deal about it.

After months passed and Nasrudin could take no more of this, he led the friend to the same lake, and, with clothes and shoes still on, deliberately jumped right into the water! As he lay in the water, he remarked to the friend, “Now I’m as wet as I would have been if you didn’t save me that day…so for goodness sake, please stop reminding me about it!“

Have You Ever Seen Me Before?

Nasrudin walked into a store one day, and the owner greeted him.

“Wait a second,” said Nasrudin. “Have you ever seen me before?”

“Never,” said the man.

“Then how do you know it was me?” replied Nasrudin.

Walnuts and Watermelons

As Nasrudin rested under a tall walnut tree one day, he looked a few yards to his side and noticed a big watermelon growing on a thin vine near the ground.

Nasrudin looked up and said, “Great God, please permit me to ask you this: why is it that walnuts grow on big strong trees, while watermelons grow on think weak vines. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

But at that very moment, a walnut fell from high on up in the tree and hit Nasrudin square on the head.

“Ah!“ remarked Nasrudin. “I suppose Nature’s ways might not be as backward as I thought. After all, if a big watermelon fell out of the tree and onto my head, it might have killed me!“

Center of the Earth

Friend: “Nasrudin, do you know where the center of the earth is?”

Nasrudin: “As a matter of fact, I know exactly where it is.”

“Where?”

“Directly under the right hoof of my donkey.”

“What! How can you be so sure?”

“Well—if you don’t believe me, you can measure it for yourself.”

Did You Enjoy the Stew?

Nasrudin was invited to the royal palace for dinner one night. During the meal, the King asked Nasrudin if he enjoyed the stew.

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin, “it was fantastic.”

“Really?” said the King. “I thought it was pretty bad.”

“Yes,” said Nasrudin, “you’re right—it was quite awful.”

“Wait a minute,” remarked the King. “You just said it was fantastic a few seconds ago.”

“That’s correct,” explained Nasrudin, “but I live in and serve the town of the King, not the stew.”

The Crowded Home

Nasrudin was talking to his neighbor one day, and the neighbor lamented, “I’m really having trouble fitting my family in our small house. It’s me, my wife, my three kids, and my mother-in-law-all sharing the same cottage. Mulla Nasrudin, you are a wise man. Do you have any advice for me?”

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin. “Do you have any chickens in your yard?

“I have ten,” the man replied.

“Put them in the house,” said Nasrudin.

“But Mulla,” the man remarked, “our house is already cramped as it is.”

“Just try it,” replied Nasrudin.

The man, desperate to find a solution to his spacing woes, followed Nasrudin’s advice, and paid him another visit the next day.

“Mulla,” he said, “things are even worse now. With the chickens in the house, we are even more pressed for space.”

“Now take that donkey of yours,” replied Nasrudin, “and bring it in the house.”

The man bemoaned and objected, but Nasrudin convinced him to do it.

The next day, the man, now looking more distressed than ever, came up to Nasrudin and said, “Now my home is even more crowded! Between my family, the chickens, and that donkey of mine, there is barely any room to move.”

“Well then,” said Nasrudin, “do you have any other animals in your yard?”

“Yes,” the man replied, “we have a goat.”

“OK,” said the other. “Take the goat in your house too.”

The man once again raised a fuss and seemed anything but eager to follow Nasrudin’s advice, but Nasrudin once again convinced him to put yet another animal in the house.

The next day, the man, now full of _ and _ , came up to Nasrudin and exclaimed, “My family is really upset now. Everyone is at my throat complaining about the lack of space. Your plan is making us miserable.”

“OK,” Nasrudin replied, “now take all of the animals back outside.”

So the man followed his advice, and the next day, he dropped by Nasrudin and remarked, “Mulla-your plan has worked like a charm. With all the animals out, my house is so spacious that none of us can help but being pleased and uncomplaining.”

The Meeting

Nasrudin went to a wealthy man’s home one day for a business appointment. As he walked towards the front door, he looked through a side window and saw the man eating soup.

Nasrudin continued to the front, and knocked on the door.

The man’s son opened it.

“Hi,” said Nasrudin. “I am here to see your father.

“Well,” other replied, “my father went out and won’t be back for many hours.”

“OK,” said Nasrudin, “but tell your father that the next time he leaves the house, he should remember not to leave his head near his home’s window!“

Nasrudin’s Shirt Falls

As Nasrudin and his wife sat in their yard one day, a strong sudden gust of win blew a shirt from their roof clothesline right next to the wife’s foot.

After seeing this happen, Nasrudin began offering thanks to God.

“Husband,” his wife asked, “why are you thanking God after having seen your shirt fall from the roof?”

The other explained, “I am thanking God that I was not in the shirt at the time.”

Nasrudin Preaches

Nasrudin was scheduled to give a religious speech one day to an all-male audience, but had no particular topic in mind.

He thought of one, and began preaching:

“Gentleman,” he said. “We must stop allowing our wives to wear make-up. It is inappropriate, indecent, impure, wicked, and by all means sinful. Any man who let’s his wife wear make-up should be ashamed of himself!“

“But Mullah,” said one of the men, “your wife always wears make-up!“

“Yes, that’s true,” Nasrudin remarked. “And it looks great on her, doesn’t it?”

Pricing the Conqueror

One day, the town’s new conqueror asked Nasrudin, “If I were a slave, how much would I cost?”

“Five hundred dollars,” Nasrudin responded.

“What!“ the conqueror shouted in great anger. “Just the clothes I’m wearing right now are worth five hundred dollars!“

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin, “I factored the clothes into my price.”

Backwards

A group of local men spotted Nasrudin riding on his donkey, but facing the wrong way.

“Nasrudin,” they said, “you are sitting on your donkey the wrong way around.”

“Hey,” Nasrudin replied, “don’t blame me-it’s actually the donkey who is facing backwards.”

The next day, the local men once again spotted Nasrudin riding his donkey backwards. This time, they asked, “So you couldn’t figure out how to make the donkey face forwards?”

“Actually,” Nasrudin responded, “this time he is forwards, and I am forwards as well. It you guys who are facing backwards!“

Complaints About Nasrudin’s Wife

One day, the local people complained to Nasrudin, “Your wife is always walking here and there, going to all sorts of different places. ‘Tis improper for a woman. For God’s sake, Mulla, tell her that she should stop moving around so much.”

“OK,” reaplied Nasrudin. “If she ever comes to our house, I’ll be sure to tell her.”

The Cover Up

A guest of Nasrudin rubbed his shoe on the floor while farting in order to ___ .

“’Twas clever of you to cover the sound with your shoe, “said Nasrudin, “but you also should have figured out a way to hide the smell.”

Nasrudin Eats Dates

A man noticed Nasrudin eating dates with their seeds.

“Why are you eating the seeds“ the man asked.

“Because,” explained Nasrudin, “the merchant who sold them to me included the weight of the seeds.”

Nasrudin Laments

In the days following the death of Nasrudin’s wife, Nasrudin’s friends noticed that he didn’t seem to be very shaken up. However, after his donkey died the following week, he appeared visibly upset and quite unconsolable.

His friends, puzzled by his reactions, asked him why the death of his donkey seemed to upset him so much more than the death of his wife.

“Well,” Nasrudin explained, “when my wife died, everyone consoled me and assured me they would find me another wife in no time at all. But when my donkey died, nobody seemed to care the least bit, and nobody offered to get me a new donkey!“

Grammar

Nasrudin was ferrying a traveler across a lake. As they spoke on various subjects, Nasrudin made a minor grammatical error.

The traveler remarked, “You who wears a turban and calls himself a Mulla-have you ever studied grammar?”

“No,” Nasrudin admitted, “I have not covered that subject in depth.”

“Well then,” the traveler replied,” you have wasted half of your life!“

Several minutes later, Nasrudin turned to the traveler and asked, “Have you ever learned how to swim?”

“No,” the traveler responded.

“Well then,” Nasrudin replied, “you have wasted all your life-for there is a hole in the boat, and we are sinking!“

Nasrudin is Lost

Nasrudin got lost in the jungle one day, and as the hours passed and nighttime approached, he still hadn’t managed to find his way out.

Tired, hungry, and alarmed, Nasrudin knelt to the ground and began praying: “Dear God. Please help me find my way out here. If you do, I promise to pray regularly and be more religious. I give you my word.”

As he prayed, a bird passed over him and dropped some shit right on his head.

“God,” said Nasrudin, “please don’t give me any of that right now-I am seriously lost!“

Across the River

Nasrudin was standing near a river. A man on the other side shouted to him, “Hey! How can I get across the river?”

“You are across!“ Nasrudin shouted back.

Your Eyes Are Very Red

Nasrudin, suffering from some eye irritation, went to see a doctor.

The doctor took a look at him and said, “Your eyes are very red.”

“Do they also ache?” asked Nasrudin.

Three Times Two

While Nasrudin was staying in another town, a local man asked him what three times two was.

“Four,” Nasrudin replied.

“You are wrong,” the man said. “The answer is six.”

“Actually,” explained Nasrudin, “I am not wrong. We use different type of math where I am from.”

Nasrudin Gets Engaged

Nasrudin, having just got engaged to a new woman in town, went to his fiancée’s home to meet his future mother-in-law.

“Tell me,” she said, “are you sure that this is the first time you are getting married?”

“Yes,” Nasrudin replied, “I swear on my four kids that I have never been married before.”

Nasrudin Offers Friend Strawberries

Nasrudin had a friend over at his house.

“Have some of these strawberries,” Nasrudin said.

“Thank you,” replied the friend, “but I have already eaten five of them.”

“I usually don’t count,” Nasrudin replied, “but you actually ate ten.”

Wrestling Dreams

One day, Nasrudin went to the local doctor and told him, “Every night for the past month and a half, I have dreamt I *dreams in which I have wrestling matches with donkeys.”

The doctor gave Nasrudin an herb and said, “Eat this, and your dreams will go away.”

“Can I start taking them tomorrow?” Nasrudin asked.

“Why?” the doctor inquired.

“Because I’m scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight,” Nasrudin replied.

One Apple Per Answer

A man at the village center began asking the locals a variety of questions—but they, being unable to answer most of them, referred the man to Nasrudin.

“Can you help me out and answer a few questions?” the man asked Nasrudin.

Nasrudin eyed a sack of apples the man was carrying and replied, “I’ll answer each question for one apple.”

The man agreed, asked the questions one by one, and paid an apple each time—each of which Nasrudin immediately ate while he answered the question. Finally, the man ran out of apples.

“OK,” the man said. “I’m going to go now. But before I do, I just want to know one thing.”

“What?” Nasrudin asked.

“How did you eat so many apples?”.

“Since you have no more apples,” Nasrudin responded, “I can’t answer you.”

Nasrudin’s New Child

Friend: “Congratulations, Nasrudin. I heard you had a new child.”

Nasrudin: “Yes.”

“Is it a boy?”

“No.”

“Is it a girl?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

Instructions

Nasrudin was very old and on the verge of dying.

He turned to his wife and said, “After I die and am buried, don’t put a stone plaque over my body.”

“Why?” his wife asked.

“Because,” Nasrudin explained, “I don’t want to hit my head on it when I am ascending to heaven.”

Nasrudin’s Curse

One of Nasrudin’s enemies noticed Nasrudin’s donkey parked outside a store, and began urinating on its harness.

Seconds later, Nasrudin caught the man in the act.

“You scoundrel! By the grace of God, I put a curse on you“and in one week, you will badly injure your leg.”

The man, quite distressed to hear the curse, began to worry that it might come true; and as he walked away from Nasrudin, he was so full of anxiety and fear that he accidentally tripped on a rock.

After falling, he grabbed his leg and exclaimed, “Oh, my leg! The pain is excruciating. Nasrudi—you said it would be injured in seven days, and yet, here I am with a broken leg, just seconds after your curse.”

“Then that was the result of someone else’s curse,” Nasrudin replied. “When my curse comes to fruition, you’ll have to crawl on your hands and knees.”

When Will the World End?

Philosopher: “I have been traveling, researching, and contemplating for years, trying to determine when the end of the world will be-yet I still have not found out the answer. Mulla, do you know when the end of the world will be?”

Nasrudin: “Yes-I have known that information for a long time.”

“Well, will you share this knowledge with me?”

“Of course. When I die, that will be the end of the world.”

“Are you certain it will?”

“It will be for me.”

Which End of the World?

Man: “Mulla, when do you think the end of the world will come?”

Nasrudin: “Which end of the world do you mean?”

“How many ends of the world are there?”

“Two?”

“Explain.”

“When my wife dies, that will be the first. When I die, that will be the second.”

The Thief

One night, a thief broke into Nasrudin’s house and began putting items in a sack. Nasrudin then joined him and added a few items.

The thief was so bewildered that he turned to Nasrudin and asked, “What in the world are you doing?”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I thought we were moving, so I began helping you pack.”

The Discussion

One day, a man came up Nasrudin, and they began to discuss a variety of matters, including local gossip, personal issues, their families, businesses, and philosophy topics.

After about twenty minutes, the man said, “I must be going now.”

“Excuse me friend,” replied Nasrudin, “but who are you?”

“Do you mean to tell me that you don’t know who I am?”

“No.”

“Then why have you been talking to me for twenty minutes on all sorts of personal matters?”

“Well, I saw your clothes, beard, and turban, and I mistook you for someone else.”

“Who?”

“Me.”

Get Me a Pencil and Piece of Paper

One night, Nasrudin awoke and exclaimed to his wife, “Wife! Please get up! I have just been divinely inspired! Get me a pencil and piece of paper at once!“

His wife lit a candle, fetched the pencil and paper, and handed it to Nasrudin.

Nasrudin wrote rapidly, and was about to put out the candle and go back to sleep when his wife exclaimed, “Wait. Please read me what you wrote.

Nasrudin picked up the paper and read, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

The Guest

Nasrudin heard a knock at his door one night. He opened the door, and the man standing there said, “Mullah, can you help a brother out and provided me with some shelter for the night. I am God’s nephew.”

“Oh, is that so?” asked Nasrudin.

“It surely is,” the man replied.

“Well then,” remarked Nasrudin, “for an exalted guest such as yourself, I must offer only the most exalted place to spend the night.”

Nasrudin stepped outside and closed his door, and then turned to the man and said, “Follow me.”

The man curiously followed Nasrudin.

Hundreds of meters later, they reached the local Mosque.

Nasrudin turned to the man and said, “And what better place could I offer you to stay the night than here at your own uncle’s house!“

The Pot

Nasrudin borrowed a pot from his friend. The next day, he gave the friend back the pot, plus another smaller pot.

The friend looked at the small pot, and said, “What’s that?”

“Your pot gave birth while I had it,” said Nasrudin, “so I am giving you its child.”

The friend, happy to receive the bonus, did not ask another question.

A week later, Nasrudin once again borrowed the original pot from the friend. After a week passed, the friend asked Nasrudin to return it.

“I can’t,” said Nasrudin.

“Why not?” the friend asked.

“Well,” Nasrudin answered, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but your pot has died.”

“What?” the friend asked with skepticism. “A pot can’t die!“

“Well, you believed it gave birth,” said Nasrudin, “so is why is it that you can’t believe it died?

The Lamp

Nasrudin and his wife were sleeping late one night, and were awoken by the sound of two men arguing intensely in the street.

“I’m going to go find out what they’re fighting about.” Nasrudin told his wife.

“Just go back to sleep,” his wife remarked. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Fine,” Nasrudin said.

But as the two men outside continued arguing, Nasrudin took picked up his lamp and decided to go out and see what the commotion was about. As soon as he got outside, one of the men grabbed his lamp and ran off with it.

Nasrudin returned to his bed. His wife asked him, “What were they fighting about.”

“My lamp,” Nasrudin replied, “As soon as they got it, they stopped fighting.”

The Hole

Nasrudin was digging outside, and his neighbor asked him, “What are you working on?”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “There’s a lot of excess dirt on the road, so I’m digging a hole to bury it in.”

“But what are you going to do with the dirt that you ’re digging out of this new hole?” said the neighbor.

“Hey,” Nasrudin replied, “I can’t attend to every single detail.”

The Weight Lifting Contest

One day, as Nasrudin and sonme other locals chatted at the town square, a bragging contest soon developed among the group.

One by one they spoke of amazing feats they accomplished, each tale seeming more outlandish than the last.

Finally, after hearing everyone else, Nasrudin stood up and took his turn. “A long time ago, all the strong men in town wanted to decide who was the strongest. There was this massive tipped-over pillar near the grocery store, and they decided to see if anyone could lift it. One by one, each of them tried, and one by one, each of them failed. Keep in mind that these were massive, muscular guys. Then I stepped up. I rubbed my hands together, and gripped the pillar as all the others watched.”

“Yes, go on!“ the others remarked. “And then what happened?”

“And then I found out I couldn’t pick it up, either!“ replied Nasrudin.

The Strength Test

Nasrudin and some others were in the town square one day, and the topic of conversation turned to how they changed since they were younger. Some of them talked about how they were wiser, and some talked about how they were weaker. Nasrudin spoke up and said, “Not only am I wiser than I used to be, I’m as strong as I was in my youth.”

“Are you sure?” One of them asked.

“Yes. I’ve tested it,” Nasrudin replied.

“How did you test it?” they asked.

“Well there is this big rock outside my house. I couldn’t lift it when I was young, and I still can’t lift it now.”

Man Waits for an Hour

A local man was proclaiming that no one could trick him. Nasrudin heard this, and said to him one day, “Just wait here for a while, and I’ll figure out how to trick you.”

The man waited and waited and waited. A merchant from a cross the street noticed him, and asked, “What are you waiting here for?”

The man replied, “I’ve been waiting here for an hour, just to see if Nasrudin can trick me. He still hasn’t come back yet.”

“Well then,” the merchant said, “it appears that you needn’t wait here any longer, for you’ve already been tricked.”

Nasrudin’s Discovery

Nasrudin was hanging a painting in his room. As he hammered the nail, he accidentally hit too hard, and made a big hole in his wall. He looked through it and saw goats on the other side, but did not realize that he was looking into his neighbor’s yard.

Nasrudin immediately ran to his wife and exclaimed, “Wife! You are not going to believe this! Guess what!“

“What?” she replied.

“I was hanging a painting in my room, and…you’re not going to believe this!“ Nasrudin exclaimed.

“What!“ his wife asked curiously.

“My hammer went through the wall, and…this is really incredible,” Nasrudin said.

“What?” his wife replied, now totally full of anticipation.

“I accidentally discovered another universe right in my room—a universe of goats!“.

Nasrudin’s Cherry Logic

Nasrudin loaded a barrel of cherries on his donkey, and went off to the bazaar to sell them. On his way, a group of about a dozen children noticed him, and were elated to see all the cherries he was carrying. They began dancing and singing in anticipation of eating cherries.

“Mulla,” they said, “please give us some.”

Now, Nasrudin was in a dilemma. On one hand, he adored children and did not want to disappoint them; but on the other hand, he loved profits and did not want to sacrifice them either.

After thinking the matter over, he took six cherries out of the barrel and gave them to the children.

“Can we have more?” the children asked.

“Listen,” Nasrudin replied, “these cherries all taste the same. What difference does it make if each of you eats half a cherry, or each of you eats fifty?”

Feud With the Donkey

One day, Nasrudin was standing in the street, and a donkey came behind him and kicked him in the rear, sending him flying in the air and hitting the ground.

Several days later, Nasrudin spotted the same donkey secured to a tree by its owner, and he immediately picked up a stick and began beating it.

The donkey’s owner noticed this, and yelled out, “Hey! What do you think you are doing to my donkey? Stop that immediately“

“This has nothing to do with you,” Nasrudin answered. “It is between me and the donkey. He knows exactly why I am beating him.”

How to Become Wise

Friend: “Nasrudin, how does one become wise?”

Nasrudin: “Listen attentively to wise people when they speak. And when someone is listening to you, listen attentively to what you are saying!“

The Doctor

Nasrudin’s wife felt sick one morning, and asked Nasrudin to go get a doctor. As he got dressed and rushed out the house, his wife yelled out to him, “I suddenly feel better. I don’t need a doctor anymore.”

Nasrudin continued running out the house until he got to the doctor’s house. The doctor opened the door, and Nasrudin began explaining, “Doctor, my wife was sick this morning, and told me to go get a doctor. As I left the house, she suddenly recovered, and told me that she didn’t need a doctor anymore. So now I have come here to tell you that you don’t need to bother coming to our house.”

Carrying the Oranges

Nasrudin was riding a donkey, and at the same time was supporting a sack of oranges over his shoulder. His friends saw him and asked, “Why are you going to the trouble of carrying that sack over your shoulder. Why don’t you just attach it to the donkey?”

Nasrudin replied, “I am not an abusive man. My donkey already has to carry me-do you think it would be fair to add the weight of these oranges?”

The Town Gossip

The Town Gossip: “Nasrudin, I just saw some men delivering a huge tub of stew.”

Nasrudin: “What’s it to me?”

The Town Gossip: “They were taking it to your house.”

Nasrudin: “What’s it to you?”

Nasrudin’s Vinegar Principle

Friend: “Nasrudin, I heard that you have a barrel of thirty year old vinegar. Is it true?”

Nasrudin: “Yes.”

Friend: “Can I have some?”

Nasrudin: “No.”

Friend: “Why not?”

Nasrudin: “Well, it’s just the principal of the matter.”

Friend: “What do you mean? What principle?”

Nasrudin: “The principle that if I had given some vinegar to everyone who asked me for some, I would not have any thirty year old vinegar.”

Balancing the Earth

Man: “Nasrudin, how come every morning, some people are traveling in one direction, and some in others?”

Nasrudin: “Because if everyone traveled in the same direction, the Earth would tip over!“

The Lost Ring

A man noticed Nasrudin intently inspecting the ground outside his door.

“Mulla,” he said, “what are you looking for?”

“I’m looking for a ring I dropped,” Nasrudin replied.

“Oh,” the man replied as he also began searching. “Well where exactly were you standing when you dropped it?”

“In my bedroom,” Nasrudin replied, “not more than a foot in front of my bed.”

“Your bedroom?!“ the man aasked. “Then why are you searching for it out here near your doorway.

“Because,” Nasrudin explained, “there is much more light out here.”

Nasrudin the Proud Parent

Nasrudin and a friend were watching Nasrudin’s children.

.The friend asked Nasrudin’s young son, “What is a dilettante?”

The son replied, “That is an herb used for seasoning.”

A delighted Nasrudin turned to his friend and said, “Did you hear that? What a fine boy I have. Just like his father. He made up an answer all by himself!“

Early Bird Gets the Worm?

Friend: “Nasrudin, you should get up early in the mornings.”

Nasrudin: “Why?”

“Well, as they say, ‘the early bird gets the worm.’“

“Well, I still don’t know if getting up early has any merit to me. After all, I am not hunting for worms.”

“I thought you might say that. But listen to this. A few days ago, I woke up at sunrise and went for a walk, and on my way, I came across a gold ring lying right on the ground!“

“Well how do you know it wasn’t lost the night before that?

“I’m sure it wasn’t. I was on the same road the night before and did not see it.”

“Well, then, that shows that it isn’t always so great to get up early.”

“Why is that?”

“Because the person who lost that gold must have gotten up earlier than you did!“

The Stranger’s Request

One day, Nasrudin was repairing his roof, and was interrupted by a stranger knocking on his door.

“What do you want?” Nasrudin shouted down to him from the roof.

“Come down so I can tell you,” the stranger replied.

Nasrudin angrily climbed down the ladder.

“Well!“ Nasrudin snapped at the stranger, “What’s so important?”

“Can you spare some money for this poor old man?” asked the stranger.

Nasrudin started climbing up the ladder. He turned to the old man and, “Follow me up to the roof.”

The latter did, and when they both reached the roof, Nasrudin turned to him again and said, “No, you can’t have any money. Now get off my roof!“

What in the World Were You Smuggling?

Nasrudin the smuggler was leading a donkey that had bundles of straw on its back. An experienced border inspector spotted Nasrudin coming to his border.

“Halt,” the inspector said. “What is your business here?”

“I am an honest smuggler!“ replied Nasrudin.

“Oh, really?” said the inspector. “Well, let me search those straw bundles. If I find something in them, you are required to pay a border fee!“

“Do as you wish,” Nasrudin replied, “but you will not find anything in those bundles.”

The inspector intensively searched and took apart the bundles, but could not find a single thing in them. He turned to Nasrudin and said, “I suppose you have managed to get one by me today. You may pass the border.”

Nasrudin crossed the border with his donkey while the annoyed inspector looked on. And then the very next day, Nasrudin once again came to the border with a straw-carrying donkey. The inspector saw Nasrudin coming and thought, “I’ll get him for sure this time.”

He checked the bundles of straw again, and then searched through the Nasrudin’s clothing, and even went through the donkey’s harness. But once again he came up empty handed and had to let Nasrudin pass.

This same pattern continued every day for several years, and every day Nasrudin wore more and more extravagant clothing and jewelry that indicated he was getting wealthier. Eventually, the inspector retired from his longtime job, but even in retirement he still wondered about the man with the straw-carrying donkey.

“I should have checked that donkey’s mouth more extensively,” he thought to himself. “Or maybe he hid something in the donkey’s rectum.”

Then one day he spotted Nasrudin’s face in a crowd. “Hey,” the inspector said, “I know you! You are that man who came to my border everyday for all those years with a donkey carrying straw. Please, sir, I must talk to you.”

Nasrudin came towards him and the inspector continued talking. “My friend, I always wondered what you were smuggling past my border everyday. Just between you and me, you must tell me. I must know. What in the world were you smuggling for all those years? I must know!“

Nasrudin simply replied, “donkeys.”

How Old Are You?

Friend: “How old are you, Mulla?”

Mulla: “Forty-five.”

Friend: “But that’s what you said when I asked you ten years ago!“

Mulla: “That’s right-I always stand by what I have said!“

Bravo

Nasrudin went hunting with the village mayor. They found a turkey, and the mayor shot and missed it.

“Bravo!“ Nasrudin shouted.

The mayor angrily turned to him and said, “How dare you make fun of me!“

“I wasn’t making fun of you,” Nasrudin replied. “I was saying bravo to the turkey!“

The Missed Appointment

A philosopher made an appointment with Nasrudin to have a scholarly discussion. When the day came, the philosopher dropped by Nasrudin’s house as planned. However, Nasrudin wasn’t home. The philosopher angrily took his pencil out of his pocket and wrote Asshole on Nasrudin’s door, and then left

Nasrudin finally came home later and saw this. He quickly realized that he had missed his appointment, and he darted off to the philosopher’s house.

“Forgive my error,” Nasrudin told the philosopher when he got there. “I totally forgot about our appointment today. But when I got home and saw that you had written your name on my door, I immediately remembered and I came here as fast as I could.”

The Mayor’s Poems

The village mayor wrote a poem and read it to Nasrudin.

“Did you like the poem?” he asked.

“No, not really,” Nasrudin replied, “it wasn’t very good.”

The mayor was enraged, and he sentenced Nasrudin to three days in jail. The next week, the mayor called Nasrudin in his office to read him another poem he had written. When the mayor finished reading, he turned to Nasrudin and asked, “Well, what do you think of this one?”

Nasrudin did not say anything, and immediately began walking away. The mayor inquired, “Just where do you think you’re going?’

“To jail!“ Nasrudin replied.

The Loan Request

___ “I really need to borrow a thousand dollars for three months. Can you help me out?”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I can fulfill half of your loan request.”

“OK; that’s fine,” the friend said, “I’m sure I can get the other five hundred dollars somewhere else.”

“You misunderstood me,” Nasrudin explained. “The half of your loan request I agreed to was the time: the three months. As for the 1000 toman, I cannot give it to you.”

Stubborn

Nasrudin and his wife got in a dispute over who would have to plant the wheat crop. They decided to have a bet. Whoever spoke first would have to plant the wheat.

His wife then went out to go buy the wheat. As Nasrudin waited at home, a thief broke in, and stole everything. All the while, Nasrudin remained speechless, intent on not losing the bet with his wife.

When his wife got home, she saw the robber leaving with the possessions. She entered the near empty house and yelled at Nasrudin, “You foolish son of a...”

Nasrudin interrupted her and said, “You lose the bet. Now go plant the wheat, and use that time to realize what has happened to you because of your stubborn attitude!“

A Lesson

Nasrudin was teaching his son life lessons. “Never give anybody anything immediately,” he said. “Wait until at least a couple of days have gone by.”

“But why?” his son inquired.

“Because,” Nasrudin responded, “people appreciate receiving something much more if they first have to doubt whether or not they will actually get it!“

Shave

A man, noticing Nasrudin’s light beard, remarked, “You don’t shave very often, do you?”

“Quite the contrary,” Nasrudin replied, “I shave about forty five times a day!“

“You must be a psycho, or perhaps a werewolf!“ the man asked.

“No,” replied Nasrudin. “I am a barber.”

Too Hot, Too Cold

Nasrudin was listening to a group of people in the midst of a scholarly discussion. One sage remarked, “People are so unreasonable-they complain of cold in the winter, and of heat in the summer. Is there nothing that can satisfy people?”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, what about fall and spring?”

Can I Borrow Your Donkey?

“Can I borrow your donkey?” a neighbor asked Nasrudin at his door.

“I’d love to help you,” was the reply, “but I’ve already lent it to someone else.”

Just then, a loud “hee-haw” came from Nasrudin’s yard.

“Hey,” the man said, “I just heard the donkey make a noise from your yard!“

Nasrudin quickly retorted, “Do you mean to tell me that you’re going to take the word of a donkey over mine?”

The Restaurant Bill

Judge Nasrudin was presiding over a case.

The plaintiff went first and exclaimed, “The defendant refuses to pay his restaurant bill!“

“I would have,” the defendant countered, “but he charged me two hundred dollars for three hardboiled eggs!“

“Is this true?” Nasrudin asked the plaintiff.

“Well,” the other replied, “as I explained to him earlier, those eggs could have been hatched into chickens, which in turn would have produced more eggs, which in turn would have hatched into more chickens, and so on, and so forth. The way I see it, his three eggs would have yielded me hundreds of dollars worth of chickens and eggs.”

“OK,” Nasrudin replied. “Wait here while I go plant some boiled peas in my garden.”

“But Judge,” the plaintiff said, “boiled peas will not grow into anything.”

“In that case,” Nasrudin replied, “this case is dismissed!“

Location

A man noticed Nasrudin digging a hole, and asked him about it.

The reply was, “I buried something in this field last month, and I’ve been trying to find it all morning.”

“Well,” said the other, “did you have some kind of marking system for it.”

Nasrudin said, “Of course I did! When I was burying it, there was a cloud directly over it that cast a shadow—but now I can’t find that cloud, either!“

The Donkey Seller

Nasrudin brought his donkey to sell at the bazaar.

The donkey, however, would not cooperate, and bit every single person who tried to inspect it.

A nearby seller noticed all of this, and said, “Do you really expect to sell a donkey that behaves like that?”

“No,” Nasrudin replied, “not really. I just brought him here so other people would experience what I have to put up with every day!“

Lost Donkey

Nasrudin lost his donkey, and began praying to God, saying, “If you help me find my lost donkey, I will donate a thousand dollars to charity.”

An hour later, he found the donkey, and then prayed again, this time saying, “Oh, thank you God, I am grateful for your help. In fact, I promise to donate the original thousand dollars I pledged, plus an addition thousand dollars, if you help me find ten thousand dollars.”

Running and Singing

Nasrudin was running and singing at the same time.

As he passed by several people, one of them, greatly curious about Nasrudin’s rather bizarre behavior, decided to run after him and ask him about it.

Nasrudin, however, did not seem to notice, and continued his singing jog as the other man followed.

As they passed through another section of town, another man noticed the pair, and he too became so curious that he decided to chase along after them.

A minute later, Nasrudin finally came to a stop, and his two followers also followed suit and stopped right next to him.

After a few seconds of silence, the original follower finally

*

stopped, giving his follower a chance to pose his question to the Mulla.

“Mulla Nasrudin,” the man said. “Why on earth were you running and singing?”

Nasrudin replied, “Well, people always tell me that I have a beautiful voice when it is heard from a distance, so I now I want to hear it, too!“

Clothes Shopping

Nasrudin was shopping for clothes. He tried on a coat, and then took it off, and said to the storeowner, “Well, I don’t really want this. Take it and give me a pair of pants instead.”

The storeowner did, and then Nasrudin put the pants on and began walking out of the store. The storeowner stopped him and said, “Sir, you forgot to pay me for those pants.”

Nasrudin replied, “I exchanged the coat for these pants.”

The storeowner said, “But you did not pay for that coat, either.”

Nasrudin responded, “Of course I didn’t. Why would I pay for something I chose not to take!“

Nasrudin the Hen Salesman

As Nasrudin walked through the bazaar one day, he noticed a few merchants selling small parrots for two hundred dollars a piece.

He thought to himself, “If each of these small birds are worth two hundred dollars, then the big hen I have at home is surely worth far more.”

So the next day he brought his hen to the bazaar and was eager to cash in. But to his surprise, the most anyone offered for it was five dollars. He shouted out, “This does not make sense. Only yesterday, there were much smaller birds here that were selling for many times what I am being offered for this bird.”

One man heard him and responded, “Sir, those birds were parrots, and they are worth more than your bird because they talk, just like people.”

“Nonsense,” said Nasrudin. “You value those birds because they talk, yet the one I have here is far better.”

“How so?” inquired the man.

“Because,” Nasrudin replied, “this one has many wonderful thoughts, just like people-and not only that, it doesn’t constantly bother others with annoying chatter!“

Late One Night

Late one night, a local security watchman spotted Nasrudin standing outside of his house prying open the window to his own bedroom.

“Nasrudin,” the watchman said, “what are you doing? Did you get locked out?”

Nasrudin replied, “Please stay quiet. I have been told that I walk in my sleep, so I am trying to sneak up on myself and find out what I talk about.”

This Tree is Four Thousand Years Old

Scientist: “According to our calculations, this tree is four thousand years old.”

Nasrudin: “No—it’s four thousand and two years old.”

“Oh come now; what makes you say that?”

“Because you told me that this tree was four thousand years old when I was here with you two years ago!“

Did You Hear the News?

Some of Nasrudin’s acquaintances wanted to get Nasrudin to kill his biggest goat and invite them for a meal.

One day they told him, “Did you hear the news?”

“No, what is it?” Nasrudin replied.

“The world is coming to an end tomorrow!“ the friend said.

Upon hearing this, Nasrudin invited all of them to dinner that night to eat the goat. They came to his house and ate it—but upon finishing it, they discovered that Nasrudin had taken all of their coats and used them to kindle his fire.

They began protesting with anger, but Nasrudin interrupted them and remarked, “Don’t you remember that the world is coming to an end tomorrow? What difference does it make if you have your coats or not?”

Larger Steak

A traveling scholar treated Nasrudin to a meal at a local restaurant.

The scholar ordered two lamb steaks—and several minutes later, after the waiter brought back a platter containing one medium sized steak and one larger one, Nasrudin immediately took the larger steak and put in on his plate.

The scholar looked at him with total disbelief. “What you did violates virtually every moral, ethical, etiquette, and religious principle there is,” the scholar began explaining. He continued with a long lecture.

When he finally finished talking, Nasrudin asked, “Well, may I ask what you would have done if you were in my situation?”

“Yes,” the scholar replied. “I would have taken the smaller steak for myself.”

Nasrudin placed the smaller steak on the scholar’s plate and said, “OK, fine—here you go!“

Avoiding Criticism

Nasrudin and his son were traveling with their donkey. Nasrudin preferred to walk while his son rode the donkey. But then they passed a group of bystanders, and one scoffed, “Look—that selfish boy is riding on a donkey while his poor old father is forced to walk alongside. That is so disrespectful. What a horrible and spoiled child!“

Nasrudin and his son felt embarrassed, so they switched spots—this time Nasrudin rode the donkey while his son walked. Soon they passed another group of people. “Oh, that’s detestable!“ one of them exclaimed. “That poor young boy has to walk while his abusive father rides the donkey! That horrible man should be ashamed of himself for the way he’s treating his son. What a heartless parent!“

Nasrudin was upset to hear this. He wanted to avoid anybody else’s scorn, so he decided to have both himself and his son ride the donkey at the same time. As they both rode, they passed another group of people. “That man and his son are so cruel,” one bystander said. “Just look at how they are forcing that poor donkey to bear the weight if two people. They should be put in jail for their despicable act. What scoundrels!“

Nasrudin heard this and told his son, “I guess the only way we can avoid the derisive comments of others is to both walk.”

“I suppose you are right,” the son replied.

So they got off the donkey and continued on foot. But as they passed another group of people, they heard them laughing. “Ha, ha, ha,” the group jeered. “Look at those two fools. They are so stupid that both of them are walking under this scorching hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey! What morons!“

It Was Just My Clothes

Nasrudin’s wife heard a loud noise in the next room. She went to inspect it, and saw her husband sitting on the floor.

“What was that?” she cried.

“It was just my clothes,” replied Nasrudin. “They fell down.”

“But how could your clothes make such a loud noise?” she asked.

“Because I was in them,” replied Nasrudin.

The Door

Friend: “Mulla, why are you always carrying a door with you?”

Mulla: “Oh, its just a security measure: since the only way to enter my house is through the door, I always carry the door with me!“

A Good Time to Eat

Man: “Nasrudin, when is a good time to eat?”

Nasrudin: “Well, for the rich, anytime, and for the poor, anytime they find food.”

A Great Home?

Nasrudin was inspecting a house he wanted to buy. The home’s next-door neighbor noticed, walked over, and began telling him how great of a house it was.

When he finished talking, Nasrudin remarked, “Well, what you’re saying might be true, but there is one drawback to living here that you neglected to tell me about.”

“What’s that?”

“A nosey neighbor!“

Tiger Powder

Nasrudin was busy sprinkling crumbs on the ground around his house. A neighbor saw him and asked, “Nasrudin, what are you doing?”

“I want to keep tigers away,” he replied.

’But there aren’t any tigers within a fifty kilometer radius from here,” the neighbor retorted.

“Yes,” said Nasrudin, “thanks to my powder.”

Question with a Question

Man: “Mulla, why do you always answer a question with another question?”

Nasrudin: “Why shouldn’t I?”

The Negotiator

Nasrudin dreamt that a man was giving him nine coins, but that he demanded ten. Suddenly, Nasrudin woke up, and looked at his hands and saw that they had no coins in them. He closed his eyes, opened his hand, and said, “OK—you win. I’ll settle for nine.”

Hospitable Nasrudin

One day, Nasrudin was boasting to a group of others about how tremendously hospitable he was. One of them, eager to make Nasrudin make due on his claim, said, “Well then, will you take us all to your home and treat us to a meal?”

Nasrudin agreed and led the group towards his house. Upon arriving there, he told them, “Wait out here so I can let my wife know what’s going on.”

He went in and told her—but she replied by saying, “We don’t have any food. You must turn them away.”

“I surely cannot do that!“ Nasrudin replied with great alarm. “My reputation for hospitality is at stake here!“

“Fine,” his wife said, “go hide upstairs, and if they start calling for you, I’ll tell them you’re not here.”

So Nasrudin did as she said, and left his guests waiting outside.

After some time had passed, they grew impatient and began pounding on the door and calling for their host.

“Nasrudin! Nasrudin!“ they shouted.

Nasrudin’s wife opened the door and told them, “Nasrudin isn’t here.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” one of them replied. “After all, we saw him go in, and we’ve been waiting here watching this door this whole time.”

As Nasrudin listened to this from upstairs, he couldn’t help but open his window and retort, “You don’t know what you are talking about. I could have gone out the back door!“

Nasrudin Treats Guests to Dinner

One day, Nasrudin was in the village square, and invited a group of people to his house for dinner that evening. He went home to tell his wife beforehand about the guests, and asked her to make rice and kabob.

She remarked, “Ah—but we don’t have any rice or kabob. You forgot to buy it!“

“Fine,” replied Nasrudin, “but can you at least bring me some plates?”

She did, and when the guests arrived an hour later, Nasrudin presented the plates to them, and proudly remarked, “My beloved guests! If I had remembered to buy rice and kabob earlier today, there would be a fabulous meal in these plates right now!“

Nasrudin Gets Sued

Nasrudin was going around town saying that, “The wise men of this town put together don’t know shit.”

One day, a group of them took Nasrudin to court, and demanded that he back up his statement or else face punishment.

“OK,” said Nasrudin.

He presented each of them with a piece of paper and pencil, and remarked, “Now each of you should write an answer to this question: ‘What is shit?’“

They all wrote a response and handed it to the judge, who read them out loud.

“The scientist wrote that shit it is a composition of water and foodwastes.

“The philosopher wrote that it is a living being’s manifestation of the universe’s prevalent themes of cycles and changes.

“The doctor wrote that it is the matter that must be passed through the body as part of regularity of bowels and good health.

“The religious leader wrote that it is a symbol of our sins passing through our body.

“The fortuneteller wrote that it is material that can be used to tell our future.

After hearing these answers, Nasrudin remarked, “You see what I mean—all of these wise men put together don’t know shit.”

Nasrudin the Gambler

Nasrudin wagered his friends that he could endure an ice-cold winter night near the mountains, wearing only slippers, shorts, and a shirt.

After making good on the bet, he went to collect his money the next day.

His friends, wanting to hear some details to verify his feat, asked him if he remained outside the entire night without according to the rules of the bet.

“I sure did,” replied Nasrudin. “I had nothing. In fact, the closest thing near me that was a fire some people lit a few hundred meters away from me.

“A fire!“ the others said. “That wasn’t part of our agreement-and thus, we won the bet.”

And so, for losing the bet, Nasrudin hosted his friends to dinner at his house one night.

When that night came, however, his friends arrived and waited a few hours without being fed anything.

Finally, they said, “We’re hungry—when is dinner going to be ready?’

“I’m not sure“ said Nasrudin. “Let’s go see.”

And with that, he led them to the kitchen and showed them a huge uncooked pot of stew on a table, and a lit candle several inches away form it.”

“Interesting,” Nasrudin remarked, “I’ve been cooking it like this since last night, and it still isn’t ready yet!“

The Palace Feast-Day

Nasrudin went to the palace for a feast-day—but when the servants noticed his ragged clothes, they paid him no attention and offered him no food.

And so, Nasrudin went back to his house, put on his most extravagant clothing, and returned to the palace, where this time he was treated like royalty, and had numerous dishes placed in front of him.

Nasrudin then proceeded to take handfuls of food and pour and rubbing them into his clothing—causing another guest to ask, “What in the world are you doing?”

“Oh, I am just feeding my clothing first,” was the reply. “After all, they are what got me this food!“

Do You Know or Don’t You Know?

As part of his duties as a Mulla, Nasrudin had to give speeches to his community. Greatly bored of the routine, he looked for a way out of this task; and one day, after going up to the pulpit and beginning his speech, he asked his audience, “Do you know what I am about to teach you?”

“No,” they responded.

“Well then, “Nasrudin said, “Since you don’t have enough background information, there’s no point in me trying to teach it to you.”

And with that statement, Nasrudin left.

The next day, he went up to the pulpit and asked his audience, “OK—do you know or don’t you know?”

Thinking that they were on to his trick, they responded, “Yes, we know.”

Nasrudin replied, “Well, then, if you already know, there is no point in me telling you!“

And with that, Nasrudin left.

The next day, he went up to the pulpit and once again asked, “Do you know or don’t you know?”

The people, once again thinking that they were on to his trick, replied, “Half of us do, and half of us don’t.”

Nasrudin replied, “OK, fantastic—now the half of you that do know can tell the other half that you that don’t!“

And with that, Nasrudin left.

The Turban is Mine

Nasrudin’s old friend Eynolla came to visit him one day from a far away village.

“I want to introduce you to a few people,” Nasrudin told Eynolla.

“OK,” replied Eynolla, “but please lend me a turban, for I am not properly dressed.”

So Nasrudin lent him the turban, and they went and visited one of Nasrudin’s friends. “This is my friend Eynolla,” Nasrudin said, “but the turban he’s wearing is mine.”

Deeply annoyed by the remark, Eynolla waited until they left the friend’s house, and then said to Nasrudin, “Why did you comment about turban I am wearing being yours?! Don’t do that during our next visit.”

So they made their next visit, and this time Nasrudin said, “This is my friend Eynolla—and the turban he’s wearing is his, not mine.

As they left, Eynolla once again expressed his annoyance, exclaiming, “Why did you go to such lengths to say that the turban was mine and not yours. Don’t do it on our next visit.”

So as they made the next visit, Nasrudin said, “This is my friend Eynolla…and I have nothing to say about whether the turban he is wearing is his or mine.”

Cow-on-Cow Homicide

A neighbor ran into Judge Nasrudin’s room and asked, “If one man’s cow kills another’s, is the owner of the first cow responsible?”

“It depends,” Nasrudin cautiously answered.

“Well,” said the man, “your cow has killed mine!“

“Oh,” answered Nasrudin. “Well, everyone knows that a cow can’t think like a human. So obviously, a cow isn’t responsible-and therefore, its owner isn’t responsible either.”

“Excuse me, Judge,” the man interrupted, “I made a mistake. What I meant to say is that my cow has killed yours!“

Judge Nasrudin sat in contemplation for a few moments. “Now that I think about it more carefully,” he announced, “this case is much more complex then I initially thought.”

He turned to his assistant and said, “Please bring me that big blue book on the shelf behind you…“

You’re Right

Judge Nasrudin was listening to a case. After hearing the plaintiff present his side, Nasrudin remarked, “You’re right.”

Then, after the defendant had presented his case, Nasrudin again remarked, “Yes, you’re right.”

Nasrudin’s wife had been listening to the case, and remarked, “that doesn’t make any sense—how can both the defendant and palintiff be right?”

“You know what?” Nasrudin responded. “You’re right, too!”

A Bird Saved My Life

Nasrudin was walking through the desert, and spotted a foreign holy man. Nasrudin went and introduced himself, and the holy man said, “I am a mystic devoted to the appreciation of all life forms—especially birds.”

“Oh, wonderful,” Nasrudin replied. “I am a Mulla, and I would like to stay with you for a while so we can share teachings. And guess what-a bird saved my life once!“

Delighted to hear this, the mystic agreed to share company with Nasrudin. As they shared their teachings, the mystic constantly asked to hear about how a bird saved Nasrudin’s life—but each time Nasrudin refused to tell the story.

One day, after the mystic pleaded and pleaded to hear the story, Nasrudin finally agreed.

“OK, here is how the bird saved my life,” Nasrudin began explaining while the myystic intently listened. “One day about six years ago, I had not eaten for a long time and was about to starve to death. Then I caught a bird and ate it.”

The Donkey Experiment

Nasrudin began gradually reducing the amount of food he fed to his donkey each day, hoping to get it accustomed to less and less food. By day thirty, however, the much-emaciated donkey dropped dead.

“Darn it,” Nasrudin lamented. “I was just a few days away from getting this donkey used to living on no food at all!“

Government Subsidies

A farmer said to Nasrudin, “This town really hooks you up. I planted barley crops last year, and when they were destroyed by rain and flood, the government compensated me for the loss.”

“Oh, that sounds really generous,” Nasrudin replied.

And then after thinking for a few moments, he continued the conversation by asking, “Do you know a way that one can cause a flood?”

Selling a Turban

Nasrudin went to the mayor’s palace one day wearing a fancy turban.

“Wow!“ said the mayor, “What a magnificent turban! I’ve never seen anything like it. How much will you sell it for?”

“A thousand dollars,” Nasrudin calmly replied.

A local merchant turned to the mayor and remarked, “That price definitely exceeds the market value of comparable items.”

“Your price sounds very expensive,” the mayor remarked to Nasrudin.

“Well,” he replied, “the price is based on how much I bought it for—and I paid a lot for it because I knew that there is only one mayor in the entire universe with taste exquisite enough to buy such a turban.”

Upon hearing this compliment, the mayor immediately demanded that Nasrudin be paid full price for the turban.

Nasrudin then walked over to the merchant and said, “You might know the market values of turbans, but I know the market value of complimenting the mayor.”

Efficiency?

Nasrudin was working for an employer who complained to him one day.

“You’re doing everything to slowly,” he said. “There’s no reason for you to go to the bazaar three separate times to buy material—you surely can do it all at once.”

Then several days later, the employer said to Nasrudin, “I’m sick—get a doctor.”

Nasrudin came back with a doctor and two other people, causing his boss to ask, “Who are the other two people?

“Well,” explained Nasrudin, “in order to save myself from making extra trips, I also brought the imam, in case we need to pray for your recovery; and the undertaker, in case you die!“

My Foot Hurts

An illiterate man asked Nasrudin to write a letter for him.

Nasrudin, however, refused, saying, “Unfortunately, I can’t do it right now—my foot hurts too much.”

“Your foot?” the man said. “What does that have to do with writing a letter?”

“Well,” explained Nasrudin, “since nobody besides me can read my handwriting, I have to go wherever the letter goes so that I can read it to the recipient.”

Guess What I Have in My Pocket?

Nasrudin’s friend had an egg in his pocket. He went up to Nasrudin and said, “If you can guess what I have in my pocket, I’ll treat you to breakfast. I’ll give you three clues.”

“OK,” Nasrudin replied, “give me the clues.”

The friend said, “It’s yellow in the middle. The rest of it is white. And it’s shaped like an egg.”

Nasrudin replied, “Is it some kind of pastry?”

Can I Borrow Your Clothesline?

Neighbor: “Nasrudin, can I borrow your clothesline?”

Nasrudin: “I need it right now. I’m hanging flour on it.”

“What? That is ridiculous. Whoever heard of someone hanging flour on a clothesline?”

“Only those who others don’t want to lend it to!“

The Neighbor’s Garden

Nasrudin spotted some ripe oranges in his neighbor’s garden, and wanted to steal one.

He took his ladder up to the dividing wall, climbed to the top of it, and pulled the ladder over.

As he began climbing down to his neighbor’s side, he suddenly heard the voice of his neighbor exclaiming, “What are you doing here!“

Nasrudin calmly replied, “ I’m selling ladders.”

The neighbor countered, “Does this look like the place for selling ladders?”

“Well now,” Nasrudin said, “do you think that there’s only one place to sell ladders?”

Nasrudin the Singer

One day, Nasrudin sang in a bathhouse, and was very pleased with the sound that was boosted tremendously by the bathhouse acoustics.

When Nasrudin left, he went to the village center and began singing—but the people looked at him in wonder, and one shouted out, “What are you doing? You’re not the one to be singing; your voice is no good!“

“Oh yeah,” Nasrudin, replied. “Just build a bathhouse here, and then you’ll find out how great my voice is!“

The Gift

Nasrudin was on his way to the palace carrying a sack of potatoes.

As he ___ A local man asked him, “Where are you going?”

“I’m taking this gift of potatoes to the new ruler,” Nasrudin replied.

“What?” the man said. “That’s not a suitable gift for a ruler. You should give him something better, like strawberries.”

So Nasrudin went home to get strawberries, and took them to the palace instead.

The ruler, however, was used to receiving much nicer gifts, and ordered his men to throw the strawberries at Nasrudin as punishment for giving such a meager gift.

As the strawberries hit him, Nasrudin began shouting, “Praise be to God!“

Hearing Nasrudin make such a comment so out of its ordinary context, the ruler ordered his men to stop, and curiously asked, “We’re hitting you with the gifts you brought, and now you’re praising God? Explain your behavior, Mulla.”

Nasrudin replied, “I’m thanking God that I didn’t bring you potatoes.”

Warriors Boast

Several of the town’s warriors were boasting about a recent battle. On of them exclaimed, “In the midst of the battle, several knives had daggered me in my legs and arms, but I continued fighting, and took out five of their men!“

“Well,” another warrior chimed in, “I had an axe go right into my leg, and several blades in my arms, yet I still continued fighting, and was able to overcome an ambush of over a dozen men. In fact, I ended up killing them all!“

“That’s really not that impressive,” replied Nasrudin. “Back in the day when I was in battle, a ten foot tall warrior sliced my head right off, but I picked it up, put it back on my shoulders, and kept on fighting as if nothing had happened!“

Palace Comparison

An Indian man was in Nasrudin’s town, and was bragging about the architecture in India:

“In India, we have immense palaces with hundreds of rooms and lavished with gold.”

“I’m not impressed,” Nasrudin remarked. “Why, in our country’s capital, we have palaces that are over 5000 meters long and…“

And as he spoke, another Indian man came by and began listening.

“…And 200 meters wide.” Nasrudin finished.

“That’s quite strange,” the first Indian man replied. “I’ve never heard of a building with proportions like that.”

“Well,” explained Nasrudin, “It would have been much wider if your friend I was talking to earlier hadn’t come back in the middle of my description!“

How’s Your New House?

Nasrudin: “How’s your new house?”

Friend: “It’s great, except it lacks sunlight.”

Nasrudin: “Well, how much sunlight is in your garden?”

Friend: “A lot.”

Nasrudin: “Then put your house in your garden.”

Nasrudin the Expert Negotiator

Cherries were selling very cheaply at the village bazaar.

Since Nasrudin was known for his good negotiating, his friend asked him to purchase some cherries at below the already low market price.

Nasrudin took the money and went to the bazaar. He haggled with the merchant for over fifteen minutes, and was able to buy them at a ridiculously low price.

He then went back to the friend’s house, and was asked how everything had gone.

“Great,” Nasrudin replied. “ I really gave the merchant a performance. I flattered him. I pleaded with him. I gave him all kinds of reasoning based on supply and demand, and the comparative value of goods. I appealed to his emotions. I really did a masterful job. And believe it or not, I convinced him to sell me thirty pounds of cherries for the money you gave me.”

“Wow,” the friend replied, “that’s amazing.”

“I know,” Nasrudin said, “and I did it just like you asked me. Now then, would you agree that I am also entitled to some reward for my work?”

“Of course,” the friend replied.

“OK then,” Nasrudin said, “since I did all of the work, I should get to keep all of the cherries.”

The Sun Versus the Moon

Man: “Nasrudin, what is more valuable to us—the sun or the moon?”

Nasrudin: “Well, the sun is out during the daytime when there is light. The moon, on the other hand, provides light during the night when it’s dark. Thus, the moon is obviously much more valuable.”

Lost Donkey

Nasrudin was looking for his lost donkey, and at the same time, he was graciously thanking God. A man saw him doing this, and inquired, “Why are you so grateful and happy—after all, you just lost your donkey.”

Nasrudin replied, “I’m glad that I was not riding the donkey when he got lost. Otherwise, I’d be lost, too!“

It’s to Your Left

Nasrudin’s wife woke him up in the middle of the night and said, “I have to go outside to urinate. Can you give me the candle that I left near your left side?”

Nasrudin, quite annoyed* that he was woken up, and replied, “How do you expect me to me to distinguish my left from my right in the dark!“

What’s the Word For Baby Cow?

Nasrudin was visiting another town, and a man asked him, “What’s the word for ‘baby cow’ in your village?”

Nasrudin couldn’t remember the word, so he replied, “Where I’m from, we don’t call a baby cow anything. We just wait until it grows up, and then we call it a cow!“

Laughing Turns to Crying

A man showed a compass to Nasrudin and asked him what it was. Nasrudin immediately began laughing. But just seconds later, he began crying.

The man noticed his bizarre behavior, and asked, “What was that? Why did you start laughing few seconds ago, and then all of a sudden start crying?”

“At first,” Nasrudin responded, "“I laughed at you because you didn’t know what that object was; but then I realized that I didn’t know what it was either, so I cried.”

Yogurt Analysis

Nasrudin turned to his wife one day and said, “Dear wife of mine, please bring me some yogurt to eat. It’s very delicious and nutritious, it keeps you lean, and gives lots of energy.”

His wife replied, “We don’t have any yogurt.”

“Oh,” Nasrudin said. “Well it’s good that we don’t, because yogurt tastes bland, it lacks food value, and it makes you fat and sluggish.”

“Wait a second,” she replied, “Your statements are in direct contradiction with each other. Which one am I to believe?”

“Well,” Nasrudin said. “if we had yogurt in our house, then you should have believed my first statement, but since we don’t, you should believe my second one.”

Superstitious

The village mayor was very superstitious. One day, he was on a hunt and caught a glimpse of Nasrudin. He immediately shouted to his men, “Mullas are bad luck on a Tuesday. Tackle him and throw him out of here!“

They followed his request, and ended up having a successful hunt. The next day, the Mayor saw Nasrudin and said, “Sorry about yesterday. It’s just that I thought you were bad luck.”

“I’m bad luck!” Nasrudin replied. “You saw me yesterday, and ended up having a great hunt. I saw you, and ended up getting an ass-kicking!”

My Bag is Lost

One day, Nasrudin entered a village and viciously declared, “My bag is lost—and if you people don’t find it, you’ll find out what happened the last time my bag got lost!“

The villagers, quite terrified, frantically began searching for the bag. Minutes later, a man found it and and presented it to Nasrudin.

Out of curiosity, one of the searchers asked Nasrudin, “I was just wondering, what would you have done if we didn’t find the bag?”

Nasrudin responded, “I would have bought a new bag!“

A Liter of Milk

Nasrudin brought a small container to the milkman and said, “Give me one liter of cow’s milk.”

The milkman looked at Nasrudin’s container and said, “A liter of cow’s milk won’t fit into your container.”

“OK—give me one liter of goat’s milk.”

Who is Your Best Friend?

Man: “Nasrudin, tell me: who is your best friend.”

Nasrudin: “My best friend is the person who will feed me the best.”

“OK. I’ll feed you the best. Are you my best friend now?”

“Friendship cannot be granted on credit!“

The Punishment

Nasrudin told his son to go get some water from the well. Before the son left, he slapped him and shouted, “And make sure you don’t break the jug!“

The boy began crying, and a bystander noticed this and said, “Why did you hit him? He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “better to hit him now than to hit him afterwards if he does end up breaking it. That would be too late.”

Take This to My House

Nasrudin bought a heavy item from the bazaar. He turned to a porter and said, “Take this to my house.”

The porter inquired, “OK-where is it?”

“Are you crazy?” Nasrudin replied. “I don’t know you; you might be a criminal for all I know-I would be foolish to tell you where my house is!“

The Bill

A visiting Emperor was in Restaurateur Nasrudin’s town, and ate a meal of sheep meat in his restaurant. When the Emperor finished the meal, he asked Nasrudin how much to pay.

“Fifty dollars,” Nasrudin confidently responded.

Surprised to hear such a high figure, the Emperor said, “Wow, that is very expensive. Are sheep rare in this part of town?”

“No, not really,” Nasrudin replied. “What’s really rare around here is visits of Emperors!“

Sharing a Meal

Nasrudin and a friend went to a restaurant to share a meal, but couldn’t decide on whether to order fish or goat. After much argument, the friend won the debate-they agreed to order fish, and informed the waiter of their choice.

Just moments later, the friend noticed a man outside stealing his donkey, and ran out to try and catch him. Nasrudin immediately got up with a very concerned look on his face. Another man saw this, and asked him, “Are you going to go file a theft report?”

“No!“ Nasrudin shouted back, “I am going to see if I can change our order before it is too late!“

Adventure in India

Nasrudin traveled to India on a business trip, and was very hungry. He found a man selling what appeared to be fruit, and bought a huge basketful.

As he bit into one and began munching, it he began sweating profusely, tearing, and turning bright red; but still he kept on eating.

As he continued to eat, he spotted an Iranian and said to him, “Friend, these are some very unusual fruits they have here in India.”

The Iranian replied, “What! Those are not fruits at all-those are spicy Indian chilies, and if you continue eating them like, your ass is going to be on fire tomorrow! Those chilies are used in tiny amounts for Indian dishes; they are not eaten like fruit. Stop eating them and throw them away!“

“Impossible. I surely cannot stop eating them!“ Nasrudin replied.

“For goodness sake, why in the world not?” the Iranian asked.

“I have no choice-I already paid for them,” said Nasrudin. “I am not eating food anymore; I am eating my money.”

Pumpkin Necklace

Nasrudin had a bizarre habit of wearing a necklace made out of a ring of pumpkin. One day, he went on a journey and was sleeping among a group of other travelers. One man decided to play a trick on Nasrudin, so he took the necklace off of Nasrudin and put it on his own neck.

When Nasrudin woke up, he saw the pumpkin necklace on the man’s neck and thought to himself, “OK, I know that the man with the pumpkin necklace is me…so then-who am I?”

Drink for Me, Drink for You

Nasrudin was at the village study center. He said to his friend, “I am going to go get a drink of water.”

The friend replied, “OK, add one for me, too.”

Nasrudin came back a few minutes later, and remarked, “After I had my drink, I tried to have a drink for you too, but we were already full!“

Nasrudin Visits the Cemetery

Nasrudin was seated near a grave at the cemetery, grieving and lamenting, “Oh, why, why did he have to leave me so soon!“

A man noticed Nasrudin crying and wanted to comfort him. He said, “Is this your son’s grave that you are crying over?”

Nasrudin replied, “No; this is the grave of my wife’s first husband. He is the one who died, and left me the woman who has made my life so miserable!“

The Right Language

A man was caught in a river current and hanging on to some rocks in order to avoid being carried away.

Nasrudin and a friend noticed him, and the friend went up to him, extended his arm, and said, “Give me your hand so I can help you out.”

The man, however, did not cooperate.

Nasrudin then asked the man what he did for a living.

“I collect taxes,” the other replied.

“Then take my hand,” Nasrudin said, upon which the man finally cooperated.

Nasrudin then turned to his friend and remarked, “Tax collectors speak the language of take, not the language of give.”

Nasrudin is Convicted

Nasrudin was in court for stealing a watermelon. The Judge exclaimed, “Nasrudin, I must give you a fine for what you have done.”

“There is no need to do that,” Nasrudin said. “You can just use this against all the credits I have accumulated for the times I didn’t steal anything.”

Nasrudin Loses His Memory

Nasrudin: “Doctor, I can’t seem to remember things.”

Doctor: “When did that begin?”

Nasrudin: “When did what begin?”

(THE NEXT WEEK)

Doctor: Is your memory getting any better?”

Nasrudin: Yes-now I can usually manage to remember that I have forgotten something!“

Nasrudin’s ID

As Nasrudin entered a foreign town, a border guard stopped him and said, “You must have some way of identifying yourself before we can let you in.”

Nasrudin took out a pocket mirror, looked into it, and remarked, “Yes-that is Nasrudin.”

Nasrudin’s Vacation

Nasrudin was working for Nike, but did not show up to his job for a week.

When he came back, his boss asked him, “Where were you during the last week?”

Nasrudin replied, “Oh, I was just doing as I was instructed.”

“What?” the boss replied.

“Well,” Nasrudin explained, “I was going to ask you for a vacation last week, but then I remembered that our company motto was Just Do It.”

“So?” the boss remarked.

“So I just did it.”

The Conqueror Needs a Title

A new ruler just conquered Nasrudin’s town. He saw Nasrudin and asked him, “Hey Mulla, come here and help me with something. I am trying to think up an honorary title for myself. I want it to have the word God in it, just like other conquerors such as ‘From-God,’ ‘God’s Warrior,’ ’God’s Soul,’ and ‘One-With-God.’ Do you have any suggestions for me?”

“How about ‘God-Forbid,’“ Nasrudin replied.

Hungry Nasrudin

Nasrudin, famished from a day’s work, came home and began stuffing food into his mouth using both of his hands simultaneously.

“Why are you eating with two hands?” his wife asked.

“Because I don’t have three hands,” he replied.

Leave this Village

The village mayor went up to Nasrudin and said, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you must leave this village. The people have had enough of your bullshitting, and have all unanimously demanded that you leave immediately!“

“Ah,” replied Nasrudin, “but they are wrong for asking me to leave. In fact, I would be far more justified in telling them to leave.”

“And why is that?” the mayor asked.

“Well,” replied the Mulla, “’tis simply a matter of fairness. It would be unreasonable to expect me-one man-to live somewhere alone in the middle of nowhere, build a house, and start a farm. The townspeople, on the other hand, can all leave together and easily form another village!“

Fart

Nasrudin was about to have a meal with the chief of a foreign land.

The only person who spoke Nasrudin’s language warned him, “Make sure you don’t fart in our chief’s presence, for our people consider it a huge insult.”

Nasrudin agreed and entered the dining hall.

Minutes into the meal, however, he let out a loud fart, causing the bilingual man to immediately blush and turn to Nasrudin.

Nasrudin, however, calmly explained to him, “Don’t worry-I farted in my own language, and your chief surely did not know what it was!“

The Donkey Deliverer

Nasrudin was hired to deliver seven donkeys to a neighboring town.

As he went on his way, however, his mind began to wander. Minutes later, he checked to see if all the donkeys were still there.

“One, two, three, four, five, six,” he counted.

Somewhat worried, he counted again.

“One, two, three, four, five, six.”

Now even more worried, he got off the donkey he was riding and counted once again.

“One, two three, four, five, six-seven!“

Greatly confused, Nasrudin got back onto the donkey and began counting yet another time.

“One, two, three, four, five, six!“

Finally, he got back off of the donkey and counted once more.

“One, two three, four, five, six-seven!“

Nasrudin thought for a moment,

“Ah!“ he said, thinking he finally realized what was going on. “These donkeys are playing a trick on me so I won’t ride any of them. When I sit on one of them, they create some sort of illusion, and one of them seems to be missing. But when I stand behind them, they stop messing with me.”

I Can See in the Dark

A group of mystics began bragging about their incredible powers.

“Every night,” one of them said, “I levitate my body and sleep on air.”

“Well,” another chimed in, “

___

After hearing them ____, Nasrudin added one of his own.

“I can see in the dark,” he declared.

“Oh yeah,” one of them retorted, “then why are you always walking around at night with a torch in your hand?”

“Simple,” Nasrudin replied. “That way, nobody else will bump into me!“

Boasting Warriors

A group of soldiers were at the village square bragging about their accomplishments in a recent battle.

“We obliterated them,” said one of the men. “We were invincible. I myself killed about a dozen of their best men.”

“And I,” added another, “caught an arrow that was headed towards me, threw it back at the shooter, and nailed him right in the heart!“

A third man chimed in, “I We are surely the greatest warriors this town has ever known!“

As they bragged and the villagers oowed and awed, Nasrudin stood up and proclaimed, “Well, back in my day, when I was in battle, I once took my sword and chopped off my enemy’s arm!“

One of the warriors said, “If I were you, I would have cut off his head instead!“

Nasrudin replied, “Yes, I agree, but it would not have been possible at that time.”

“Why not?” the warrior asked.

“Because someone had already chopped off his head before me!“ Nasrudin replied.

Remember

Nasrudin and his wife were both very competitive, and one time, they decided to play the “Remember“ game.

(each person has to say the word remember whenever the other participant hands him/her an object. )

After several months of playing, Nasrudin decided to go on a long trip and return with a gift, in hopes that his wife would forget to say Remember when she accepted the gift.

A year later, he came home with the gift, sure that his amazing patience and planning would pay off.

When his wife answered the door, she, holding a small baby in her hands, said, “Here is your new son!“

Nasrudin was caught so off guard that he immediately embraced the baby-prompting his wife to immediately exclaim “You Forgot.”

The Beef and the Cat

Nasrudin brought home two kilos of beef one day and told his wife, “Please use this to make kabob tonight.”

While Nasrudin was out, however, his wife used the meat to make a lunch for herself and her friends.

Hours later, Nasrudin returned, and asked whether the kabob was ready.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, but the cat ate it all while I was doing chores.”

Nasrudin grabbed the cat and put it on the scale.

“This cat weighs two kilos,” he remarked. “So if this is the cat, then where is the beef? And if this is the beef, then where is the cat?”

The Tips

Nasrudin went into a bathhouse dressed in worn out clothing.

The bath attendant, taking him to be poor, didn’t give him much care, only throwing him a towel. When Nasrudin was done bathing, however, he gave the attendant a big tip.

The next week, Nasrudin came to the bathhouse again-and this time, the attendant gave him the royal treatment, hoping for yet another jackpot tip.

This time, however, Nasrudin flung a mere dime his way, and gave him a nasty look to boot.

As the attendant stood there with a disappointed look on his face, Nasrudin turned and said to him, “This tip is for the services you gave me last week; the tip I gave you last week was for today’s services.”

The Slap

One day, Nasrudin was walking down the street to work, when out of nowhere, a man came up to him and slapped him right in the face!

A surprised Nasrudin looked at the man.

The man looked back and, quickly realizing that he had mistakenly slapped the wrong man, turned red with embarrassment and immediately offered an apology.

Nasrudin, however, took the man to court.

After explaining his case to the Judge, the Judge made his ruling:

“I hereby order the plaintiff to slap the defendant in the face.”

Nasrudin, however, did not accept; and the Judge, about to lose his patience with Nasrudin, changed the verdict:

“I hereby order the defendant to pay the plaintiff twenty dollars.”

Nasrudin accepted, but the man said that he had to go home to get the money and bring it back.

Half an hour later, however, the man had yet to return; and Nasrudin couldn’t wait any longer.

He went up to the Judge, slapped him in the face, and said, “I am running late and must go, so please accept the twenty dollars on my behalf.”

Religious Beard

The town’s religious leader was preaching to the townspeople one day.

“Religious men have beards!“ he exclaimed. “A thick beard is the outward manifestation of holiness!“

“My goat has thicker beard than anyone in this town,” replied Nasrudin. “Do you mean to tell me that he is more religious than all of us?”

Peach Payment

Nasrudin had moved to a new town and was badly in need of money. After _____ , he agreed to pick peaches off of a local man’s orchard for fifty dollars a day.

However, after he completed a full day’s work and went to collect his pay, the orchard owner told him he didn’t have any money.

“But listen,” he added. “Come back here tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll let you eat as many peaches as you want.”

Nasrudin, quite disappointed, reluctantly agreed; and the very next day, he arrived at the orchard precisely at noon.

Seconds later, he climbed a ladder to the top of a tree, grabbed a peach, and began eating it rapidly.

The orchard owner, quite puzzled by Nasrudin’s behavior, couldn’t help but ask him about it.

“Mulla, he said, “Why in the world did you choose to eat from the top of that tree? Wouldn’t it be easier to just each the peaches on branches closer to the ground?”

“That will not do,” Nasrudin replied.

“And why not,” the man curiously asked.

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “haven’t you ever heard the saying, ‘If you are sweeping stairs, start from the top.’“

“What does that have to do with this?” the man asked.

“Simple,” said Nasrudin. “Unless I am systematic and start from the top of each tree, how else will I be able to eat every peach in this orchard by the day’s end?”

Are You Me, or Am I You?

One day Nasrudin bumped into another man, sending them both to the ground.

“Oh, excuse me,” Nasrudin said. “Are you me, or am I you?”

“I am me,” the man said, “and as for you, you must be some kind of psycho, asking me such a question.”

“Oh, I am no psycho,” replied Nasrudin. “It’s just that we look similar, and when we bumped into each other and fell, I thought we might have gotten mixed up in the fall.”

What Should I Do?

Nasrudin’s friend was continuously worried and distressed over everything.

One day he went up to Nasrudin and said, “What should I do if I get up early in the morning, and it is so dark that I bump into something and injure myself?”

Nasrudin replied, “Get up later in the morning.”

Mr. Know-It-All

In the middle of a chit-chat session with her friends, Nasrudin’s wife remarked, “My husband always acts like he knows everything.”

Then as she and her friends discussed the matter, Nasrudin walked in asked the ladies what they were talking about.

“Oh,” his wife said, “we were just talking about bread baking.”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “then it is fitting that I entered the discussion. After all, I am one of the world’s greatest bread bakers.”

“Oh really?” she replied as she rolled her eyes to her friends. “Well, I’m sure you are. But let me ask you one thing-and please don’t take this to mean I am doubting you in any way.”

“What is it?” Nasrudin asked.

“In all the years we’ve been married, how come I’ve never seen you bake so much as a single loaf of bread?” his wife said.

“That’s easy to explain,” Nasrudin responded. “It’s just that the proper ingredients have never been together at the same time. When there is flour, there is no yeast. When there is yeast, there is no flour. And when there is both flour and yeast, I myself am not there.”

Reverse Burgleration

One night, Nasrudin’s wife woke Nasrudin up and said, “Husband, there are burglars in the house.”

“Are you certain?” Nasrudin replied.

“Yes,” she replied. “They left bundles of other people’s stolen possessions outside our door, and they are in our house right now taking our stuff.”

“OK, I will handle this,” Nasrudin said, as he got out of bed and began climbing out the window.

“Are you going to go contact the police?” his wife asked.

“No“ Nasrudin said. “While the robbers are in our house stealing our junk, I am going to steal the bundles they left outside.”

Meal Reverse Trickeration

Nasrudin and a few of his buddies went to one of their friend’s homes one night for a dinner of chicken and rice.

As they ate, the friend, wanting to play a little joke at Nasrudin’s expense, snuck the chicken bones from his meal into Nasrudin’s plate. Then, when everyone finished eating, he remarked, “Nasrudin, you’re a real pig! Look at all the bones in your plate-you must have eaten enough for two people!“

“If I am an overeater,” Nasrudin quickly responded, “then what about you? Not only have you been eating like a starved man this entire time, you’ve apparently eaten every bone in your plate as well!“

Camel or Man?

Friend: “Nasrudin, which is wiser: camel or man?”

Nasrudin: “Camel.”

“Why.”

“Because a camel carries loads but does not ask for more, whereas man, even if he is overwhelmed by responsibility, often chooses to add more.”

Hours Into Labor

After hours of labor, Nasrudin’s pregnant wife had still not given birth.

The midwife, full of anxiety, turned to Nasrudin and said, “Mulla, I really don’t know what to do. Do you have any ideas?”

After thinking for a while, Nasrudin ran to his neighbor’s house and came back with a toy in his hand.

Then, as both his wife and the midwife watched in curiosity, he began playing with the toy in front of his wife.

“What in the world are you doing?” asked the midwife.

“Relax-“ Nasrudin replied, “-I’ve got this all under control.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, from what I know of kids, once the child sees this toy, he will jump out and play with it.”

Nasrudin’s Weapon

A conqueror headquartered in Nasrudin’s city was looking for ways to put an end to a rebellion that had started in one of the nearby towns he ruled.

“The people have risen against the governor,” one of his officials explained. “They say they have had enough of his oppressive rule.”

“We should send troops and weapons to quell the disorder,” added a military general. “Once we make your Highness’s presence felt, the revolt will surely come to an end.”

Nasrudin, who was in court at the time, then remarked to the conqueror, “Actually, all of that is not necessary. In fact, I know a way you can end the revolt with just one special weapon.”

“What?” asked the conqueror with great curiosity.

Nasrudin replied, “One person who will be attentive to the people and replace the oppressive governor.”

What Color is my Beard?

One day, a barber was trimming the mayor’s beard at the village palace.

After he finished up, he remarked, “Your beard is starting to turn gray.”

The mayor, enraged to hear this, ordered that the barber be put in jail for one year.

He then turned to a court attendant and asked, “Do you see any gray in my beard?”

“Almost none at all,” the man replied.

“What do you mean ‘almost’!“ the mayor yelled. “Guards, take this man to jail-and keep him there for two years!“

He then turned to another attendant and asked the same question.

“Sir, your beard is exquisite, and is completely black,” the man replied.

“You liar!“ the mayor shouted. “Guards-give this man ten lashes on the back, and put him in jail for three years.”

Finally, he turned to Nasrudin and said, “Mulla, what color is my beard?”

“You Excellency,” Nasrudin replied, “I am color blind, and cannot answer that question.”

Consolation

One day, the conqueror of Nasrudin’s town was hunting with several attendants. He fired his arrow at a duck and missed.

“An unlucky shot!“ one attendant remarked.

“Your bowstring must be worn out,” said another.

“Your horse didn’t stay steady,” added a third.

They all looked at Nasrudin.

“Your highness,” he said, “although you missed that shot, you can console yourself with the fact that you have succeeded so many times throughout the years in killing all of those innocent people.”

Nasrudin’s Loan Repayment

Nasrudin owed his cousin money, but avoided him for weeks. Finally, their paths crossed one day.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me,” said the cousin, “but alas-we have finally run into each other. So how about the two hundred dollars you owe me?

Nasrudin, knowing his cousin to be extraordinarily lazy, replied, “Sure, just follow me back to my house two kilometers that way, and then I’ll be happy to give it to you.”

“Well,” the cousin replied-“actually, I have to get going. Just leave me alone.”

Nasrudin Tries to Steal a Peach

One day, as Nasrudin rode his donkey, he spotted a ripe peach hanging over the wall of someone’s orchard.

He then positioned his donkey underneath it, stood up and grabbed a branch, and reached for the peach with his other hand.

As he did this, however, a noise startled his donkey and caused it to run off, leaving Nasrudin hanging from the tree.

Seconds later, the orchard spotted Nasrudin and yelled, “Thief!“

“What are you talking about? replied Nasrudin. “I am not stealing anything. Can’t you tell by the way I’m hanging here that I have simply fallen off of my donkey?”

Tool Repairman

Nasrudin took his tools to a repair shop one day. When he went to pick them up the following day, the repairman said, “Unfortunately, they were stolen.”

The next day he told his friend about this, and the friend said, “I bet the repairman stole your tools. Go back there and demand that he return them.”

“I cannot do that,” Nasrudin said. “I am avoiding him.”

“Why?” the friend asked.

“Because I still owe him money for my tool repairs,” replied Nasrudin.

The Mayor’s Request

One day, the King called over Nasrudin and said to him, “Mulla, you claim to have mystical powers. Use your powers to catch fish for the starving people in our town.”

“Your Highness,” replied Nasrudin, “you’ve got me confused. I said I have powers. I never said I was a fisherman.”

Nasrudin’s Hurried Prayer

Nasrudin was in a rush one day, and quickly went to the Mosque for an evening prayer session. The religious leader saw his rushed prayer, and angrily said to him, “This is not right-you offering such hurried prayers. Start over again.”

So Nasrudin complied, and when he finished, the religious leader said, “Now, don’t you think that God appreciated this second round of prayers more than the hurried ones you did.”

“Not really,” Nasrudin replied. “Although the first ones were hurried, they were done for God. But the ones that you made me do were done for you.”

The Mayor’s Funeral

One morning, Nasrudin’s wife said, “Husband, hurry up and get dressed. We are running late for the mayor’s funeral.”

“Why should I hurry to get to his funeral?” replied Nasrudin. “After all, he is definitely not going to go to the trouble of attending mine.”

Nasrudin Owes the Government Money

The local government demanded that Nasrudin pay the five thousand dollars worth of back taxes. But after selling off his possessions and applying the proceeds towards his debt, he was still short two thousand dollars.

The mayor called for him and told him to pay the remaining money.

“I don’t have any more money,” said Nasrudin. “All my wife and I have left is three thousand dollars-but that is hers.”

“Well,” replied the mayor, “under our law, a husband and wife share both property and debts-and thus, you must use her three thousand dollars to pay of your debt.”

“But I still cannot do that,” replied Nasrudin.

“Why not?” asked the mayor.

“Because,” Nasrudin explained, “the three thousand dollars is actually the dowry that I owe her and have not yet paid her.”

Nasrudin’s Donkey is Sick

Nasrudin’s friend noticed him bewailing over his sick donkey.

“Why are you weeping?” he asked. “Your donkey is still alive.”

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin, “but if he does die, then I will have to bury him, and then go purchase a new donkey, and then train it-and with all of those tasks to do, I will have no time for crying.”

Nasrudin Sells Fruit

Nasrudin was selling fruit one hot summer day.

“How much for a cantaloupe?” asked one man.

“Four dollars,” replied Nasrudin.

“That’s outrageous,” said the man. “How can you charge so much? Don’t you have any morals?”

“No,” Nasrudin replied, “I don’t have any of that in stock.”

The Conqueror’s Challenge

The town’s new conqueror said to Nasrudin one day, “Hey Mulla, I have a challenge for you. Offend me in a way that your explanation will be a thousand times worse than the original offense.”

The next day, Nasrudin came to the palace and kissed the conqueror right on the lips.

“What was that!“ exclaimed the conqueror with great surprise.

“Oh,” Nasrudin replied, “excuse me. I got you confused with your wife.”

Three Months

Three months after Nasrudin married his new wife, she gave birth to a baby girl.

“Now, I’m no expert or anything,” said Nasrudin, “and please don’t take this the wrong way-but tell me this: Doesn’t it take nine months for a woman to go from child conception to childbirth?”

“You men are all alike,” she replied, “so ignorant of womanly matters. Tell me something: how long have I been married to you?”

“Three months,” replied Nasrudin.

“And how long have you been married to me?” she asked.

“Three months,” replied Nasrudin.

“And how long have I been pregnant?” she inquired.

“Three months,” replied Nasrudin.

“So,” she explained, “three plus three plus three equals nine. Are you satisfied now?”

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin, “please forgive me for bringing up the matter.”

Cursing Fine

After tripping on a rock while walking, Nasrudin angrily yelled out, “Son of a bitch!“

Unfortunately, a man who happened to be standing nearby thought the comment was directed towards him, and was so offended that he took Nasrudin to court, much to Nasrudin’s annoyance.

When the judge heard the case, he ruled that Nasrudin should pay the man five dollars.

Nasrudin then handed the judge a ten dollar bill, and as the judge searched for change, Nasrudin asked, “So I take it the fine for cursing at someone is five dollars, right?”

“Right.”

“OK then-keep the change you son of a bitch.”

Customers Want Refund

Nasrudin was in need of some money, and decided to bag sand as sell it as rat poison.

After selling quite a bit of it, he was approached the next day by a few angry customers demanding a refund.

“We put the rat poison in our houses,” they said, “and it didn’t kill a single rat.”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “are you saying that you just sprinkled the powder in your house?”

“Yes,” they said.

“Well then,” countered Nasrudin, “you didn’t follow the directions properly-and I am not responsible for that.”

“Well how should we have used the powder?” they inquired.

“You were supposed to hit the rat hard in the head, and then put the powder in its mouth.”

Nasrudin “Helps” Prepare a Meal

Nasrudin and a friend bought some ingredients to make a meal of meat, rice, and vegetables.

“Nasrudin,” said the friend, “you make the rice, and I’ll cook the vegetables.

“Actually,” said the other, “I have no clue how to make rice.”

“Fine-just slice the vegetables, and I’ll take care of the rice.”

“Well, to be honest, I really don’t know how to slice vegetables.”

“Then go prepare the meat for the stove.”

“I would really like to-but I have an aversion to raw meat.”

“Then go light the stove.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I’m afraid of fire.”

Tired of hearing all of Nasrudin’s excuses, the friend made the meal all by himself.

When it was ready, he put the food on the table and said to Nasrudin, “Well, I’ll bet that you are also unable to eat meat, vegetables, and stew, right?”

“Indeed I am,” Nasrudin replied, “but since I know you went to so much trouble to make this meal, I will do my best to eat it.”

The Walk Home

The local religious leader was not too fond of Nasrudin.

However, one night, he, being uneager to walk home alone, decided to join Nasrudin as they headed back to their neighborhood.

As they reached a steep passage, the religious leader looked up and said, “Great God-surely you have made this path steeper in order to punish my companion for his not-so-exemplary behavior.”

“My friend,” Nasrudin replied, “you’ve got it all wrong. When I took this very road this morning on my way to work it was downhill and a very easy walk. But now that you are accompanying me, it is sloping upwards like this!“

Am I Going to Heaven or Hell?

One day, the King asked Nasrudin, “Mulla, when I die, am I going to heaven or hell?”

“Hell,” replied Nasrudin.

“And why is that?” the King angrily demanded to know.

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “it’s just that heaven is already full of all those innocent people you have slain and executed over the years. But don’t worry-they’ve reserved a place of honor for you in hell.”

Meal Payment

Nasrudin ate a meal of stew at a restaurant, and then left without paying his bill.

The owner ran up to him and said, “Hey-you haven’t paid for your meal yet.”

“Well,” replied Nasrudin, “let me ask you this: did you pay for all of my meal’s ingredients at the bazaar.”

“Yes, of course I did,” the man replied.

“Then this food has already been paid for,” explained Nasrudin, “so why pay twice?”

Nasrudin Steals Wheat]

Nasrudin was at the local mill along with many others. As they waited for their turn, Nasrudin scooped wheat from other people’s sacks into his own.

The miller noticed this and confronted Nasrudin.

“What are you doing?” he said.

“Don’t mind me,” replied Nasrudin, “I am just a half-wit. I do whatever comes to my head.”

“Well then,” the miller replied, “Then why hasn’t it come to you head to put your wheat into other people sacks.”

“Hey, I said I was a half-wit,” replied Nasrudin. “I never said I was a complete idiot.”

Nasrudin Dies

Nasrudin was very old and lying on his bed, about to die at any moment. He said to his wife, “Why are you dressed in black and looking so sorrowful? Go put on your finest clothes, fix up your hair, and smile!“

“Nasrudin,” she tearfully responded, “how can you ask me to do such a thing? You are ill, and I am dressed like this out of respect for you.”

“Yes,” Nasrudin said, “and that’s why I made my request. The Angel of Death will be here soon, and if he sees you all dressed up and beautiful, maybe he’ll leave me and take you instead.”

And after giving a little laugh, Nasrudin died.

Debate

Nasrudin and some friends were at the town square. The friends, looking for any subject to discuss, began debating over the sex of the dove that brought the olive twig to Noah’s Ark.

After listening to the debate, Nasrudin spoke up and said, “This is actually a very easy question to answer. The dove was male-I am sure about it.”

“How can you be so sure?” the friends asked.

“Because,” explained Nasrudin, “no female would be able to keep her mouth shut for such a long length of time!“

Train Ticket

Nasrudin was about to board a train, and the conductor asked him for his ticket.

Nasrudin began looking through his pants pockets, but he couldn’t find it.

“One moment,” he said. “I know I brought it.”

He searched his bag, and still couldn’t find it. He then searched the floor around him, and the missing ticket still eluded him. He even began looking in his socks, but alas, the money was not found.

As the conductor watched this, he asked, “Why don’t you check that pocket on your shirt? That’s usually where most people put their ticket.”

“Oh, I can’t look there,” Nasrudin replied.

“Why not?” the conductor asked.

Nasrudin explained, “Because if I do and I find out it is not there, then I would have no hope at all of finding it!“

The Oven

Nasrudin was building an oven in his yard. When he finished, he showed it to the neighbors.

“The oven is good,” said one of them, “however, it faces North. When it gets windy in the winter, the wind will blow out the fire.”

Nasrudin then rebuilt the oven, this time making it face south. When he showed it to his friends, however, one of them said, “It’s strong and solid-but it faces south. When wind blows from a certain direction, you won’t be able to cook properly.”

So Nasrudin rebuilt the oven facing east, and invited his friends back. They examined it, and one said, “Surely you must realize that during certain times of the year, wind will blow the smoke right towards your house!“

Frustrated, Nasrudin decided to build the oven again, but this time put wheels underneath it.

He invited his neighbors over and proudly showed it to them. They looked it over and seemed to approve. Then one of them said, “Nasrudin, congratulations on your new oven.”

“Thank you,” replied Nasrudin.

Then his friend said, “Might I ask you a favor and borrow that oven tonight. I just would like to use it to make a fine meal for my acquaintance that is coming over. I will return it to you tomorrow.”

Nasrudin agreed, and the friend wheeled off the oven. That day, Nasrudin bought lots of meat preparing for a barbecue of his own.

His friend brought back the barbecue the next morning, and Nasrudin went off to work.

When he got, however, his wife told him, “That stupid idea of your-that

“What do you mean?” Nasrudin said.

She replied, “First your friend borrowed it, and we could not use it. And today, while I was buying the meat for our barbecue, some thieves came here and stole it from our yard!“

The Test

Nasrudin and a local man were in the midst of a philosophical discussion, and the latter posed the following question to the Mulla:

“Tell me this,” he said. “How come whenever a buttered piece of bread is flipped in the air, it always falls on the buttered side.”

Nasrudin heard this and then decided to test it out. He got a piece of bread and buttered one side, and then tossed it in the air, and it landed on the unbuttered side. He immediately said, “Well there goes your theory. The bread has fallen on the unbuttered side.”

Undeterred, the other man replied, “No, you are mistaken. You buttered it on the wrong side.”

Nasrudin Buries His Donkey

One day, Nasrudin’s beloved donkey dropped dead.

Greatly saddened, Nasrudin decided to make a grave for it and give it a formal burial and ceremony.

As he cried at the gravesite over the loss of his beloved donkey, someone noticed him and asked, “Who is buried there?”

Embarrassed to admit it was his donkey, he replied, “A great sheik. He appeared to me in a dream and told me that no one was visiting his grave-so I came here in order to honor and remember him.”

Soon, word spread of the sheik, and many people began visiting the grave. A few weeks later, Nasrudin was traveling by on his new donkey, and noticed a large gathering of people, and an altar built on the gravesite.

“What’s going on here?” he asked someone.

“A great sheik was buried here, and we are all honoring him.”

“What!“ said Nasrudin.” This is my donkey’s grave. I buried him here myself!“

Greatly outraged, the people took Nasrudin to the religious official.

After explaining his story to him, the religious official, very offended, ordered his assistants to give Nasrudin several lashes to the back.

As he walked home with welts on his back, Nasrudin thought to himself, “Wow, my donkey was really something. He was so great that the people made him a sheik.”

Nasrudin’s Soul

Nasrudin was madly in love with his wife. He lavished her with affection, and constantly referred to her as “Soul.”

Then one night the Angel of Death came to him and said, “I am here to take your soul.”

Immediately, Nasrudin turned to his wife and said, “Wake up! Someone is here for you!“

Nasrudin the Liar and Exaggerator

Mayor: “Nasrudin. You are known to be a liar and exaggerator. Tell me a lie without thinking, and I will reward you with fifty dollars.”

Nasrudin: “Fifty dollars? You just promised me a hundred dollars!“

The Horse Seller

Nasrudin was in the marketplace listening to a horse dealer’s sales pitch.

“This is the most exquisite horse in this village,” the seller exclaimed. “It is lighting fast and never gets tired. In fact, if you left this village right now, you would get to Samarkand at five AM.”

Hearing this, Nasrudin spoke up and said, “Why on earth would I want to be in Samarkand so early in the morning?”

The Umbrella

As Nasrudin and a friend walked, it suddenly began raining hard.

The friend noticed that Nasrudin was carrying an umbrella, and said, “Open your umbrella to prevent us from getting soaked.”

“No,” said Nasrudin, “that won’t do us much good. This umbrella is full of holes.”

“So then why did you bring it?” the friend curiously asked.

“Well,” explained Nasrudin, “I didn’t really think it would rain today.”

News Delivery

“Nasrudin,” said the mayor, “Mrs. Shahrzad Rahman’s husband died today. Go tell her, but try to break the news gently. She is a very frail lady.”

Nasrudin went to her house and knocked on the door.

A frail lady answered.

“Does Miss Shahrzad the widow live here?” asked Nasrudin.

“My name is Shahrzad and I do live here,” the lady replied. “But I am not a widow.”

“Well,” Nasrudin replied, “I’m willing to bet a hundred dollars that you are!“

Who is He?

Nasrudin talking to a cobbler who told the following riddle: “There is a person who is my father’s son, but he is not my brother. Who is he?”

After a while, Nasrudin said, “I don’t know. Who?”

“Me,” the cobbler replied.

Greatly amused, Nasrudin went to a group of people the next day and told them the riddle.

He said to them, “There is a person who is my father’s son, but he is not my brother. Who is he?”

After thinking for a while, they said, “Who?”

Nasrudin replied, “Believe it or not, he is the cobbler that works on Kalak Drive.”

Your Cat is Dead

Nasrudin had a cousin who went to live far away, and left some of his possessions with Nasrudin.

One day, the cousin’s cat died, and Nasrudin sent him a message that bluntly said: “Your cat is dead.”

The cousin, very upset, sent a message back that said, “Where I live, we give people bad news more tactfully. Instead of just telling me flat out that my cat was dead, you should have let me know me little by little. You should have started off by saying, first told me, ‘Your cat is acting strange,’ then later said, ‘your cat is jumping all over the place,’ then still later told me, ‘Your cat is missing,’ and then finally broken the news and said, ‘Your cat is dead.’

A month later, Nasrudin’s cousin received a new letter from Nasrudin, which said: “Your mother is acting strange.”

THE PHILOSOPHER’S PHILOSOPHER

NASREDDINNASREDDINHODJAHODJA

Nebi ÖZDEMİR

by

© Republic of Turkey Ministry of Culture and TourismGeneral Directorate of Libraries and Publications

3311

Handbook Series14

ISBN: 978-975-17-3565-2

www.kulturturizm.gov.tre-mail: yayimlar@kulturturizm.gov.tr

Özdemir, Nebi

The Philosopher’s Philosopher Nasreddin Hodja/Nebi Özdemir; Trans: M. Angela Roome.- Ankara: Ministry of Culture and Tourism, 2011.

172 p.: col. ill.; 20 cm.- (Ministry of Culture andTourism Publications; 3311. Handbook Series of General Directorate of Libraries and Publications: 14) ISBN: 978-975-17-3565-2

Selected Bibliography

I. title. II. Roome, M. Angela. III. Series.927

Translated byM. Angela Roome

Printed byGrafiker Ltd. Şti.Oğuzlar Mahallesi 1. Cadde 1396. Sokak No:6, 06520 Balgat-AnkaraTel: 0 312 284 16 39 • Faks: 0 312 284 37 27www.grafiker.com.tr

PhotographsGrafiker Ltd. Şti. Archive, Akşehir Municipality Archive.

First Edition

Print run: 5000.

Printed in Ankara in 2011.

3

CONTENTS

A. NASREDDIN HODJA’S HISTORICAL IDENTITY . . . . . . . 5

a. Nasreddin Hodja’s Historical Identity and

Related Documentation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

b. Nasreddin Hodja’s Name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

c. Nasreddin Hodja’s Life and Family . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

B. ANECDOTES ABOUT NASREDDIN HODJA . . . . . . . . . .15

C. NASREDDIN HODJA’S WORLD OF WIT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17

D. NASREDDIN THE OMNISCIENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34

E. THE NASREDDIN HODJA CANON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .63

F. NASREDDIN HODJA PUBLICATIONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .77

G. NASREDDIN HODJAS TRADITIONAL HUMOUR . . . .83

a. Humour In the Press and Literature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83

b. Th eatre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

c. Cinema and Animation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

d. Radio, Television and the Internet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

H. SELECTIONS FROM THE NASREDDIN HODJA

CANON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109

BIBLIOGRAPHY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

4

5

A. NASREDDIN HODJA’SA. NASREDDIN HODJA’SHISTORICAL IDENTIT Y:HISTORICAL IDENTIT Y:

a. Nasreddin Hodja’s Historical Identity and Related

Documents:

T here are two distinct trains of thought as to

whether Nasreddin Hodja was really a historical

person or not. Lack of sufficient evidence makes

many researchers doubtful of his being a real person in

history. These researchers inform us that the Nasreddin

Hodja, the popular Turkish hero and an amalgamation of

different comic heroes (for example, Djuha, the hero of

many comic stories in Arabia) and a historic person (such

as the 13th century savant Nasreddin Hodja Tûsî) are one

and the same. They are equally sceptical that there was a

master of wit called Nasreddin Hodja in any geographical

area outside Anatolia. A great number of people, however,

strongly support the idea that Nasreddin Hodja was a

historical figure who lived in Anatolia and remains alive

today through the many different stories which have been

created around him.

6

As well as the stories about Nasreddin Hodja and his life,

there are various pieces of historical evidence concerning

him. The first of these is the inscription to be found on one

of the pillars of his tomb, a few lines written in 1393/1394

by Mehmed, a yeoman in the service of Bayazit 1. The

tomb of Nasreddin Hodja, which lacks a tablet, and a

tombstone, on which the date, which it is said should be

683, is mistakenly written as 386 but on which the name of

Nasreddin Hodja does not appear, are cited as evidence by

various researchers. Tablets from the grave of Nasreddin

Hodja’s daughters which is today in Akşehir Museum are

also accepted as important pieces of evidence. These are

those of Nasreddin Hodja’s older daughter Fatima Hatun,

found in 1931 in a graveyard in Sivrihisar and dated

H.727 (M.1326/1327) together with that of his younger

daughter, found at the foot of Nasreddin Hodja’s grave,

dated H.727 (M.1326/1327) and inscribed “Dürrü Melek

binti Nasreddin Hodja.” The most important proof is the

information concerning the upkeep of Nasreddin Hodja’s

tomb and the income for this provided by the Nasreddin

Hodja Pious Foundation given in the Provincial Records

for 881 (1476)1

Data from written records concerning goods and many

concepts coming from hearsay are accepted as proof of

the historical existence of Nasreddin Hodja. For example

the name of Nasreddin Hodja is mentioned in two places

in the Ebû’l- Hayr-ı Rûmî’s Saltuknâme (completed in

1480). The work called Kitab-ı Dâfiü’l- Gumûm Rafiu’l

Humûm written by Mehmed Gazalî from Bursa (known

as Deli Birader, the Mad Brother) includes stories widely

known at the time but which had not been recorded in

that way before. Again in the Güvâhî’s Pendnâme (c. 1527)

1 Boratav, P.N., 1996, Nasreddin Hodja, Edebiyatçılar Derneği, Ankara: pp

17- 24.; Sakaoğlu, S. ve A.B. Alptekin, 2009, Nasreddin Hodja, Atatürk

Kültür Merkezi Pub., Ankara: pp 5-8.; Duman, Mustafa, 2008, Nasreddin

Hodja ve 1555 Fıkrası, Heyamola Pub., Istanbul: pp 26-27.

7

there are three Nasreddin Hodja stories- (No brain (Aklı

yoktu ki),” Eat, my fur coat, eat (Ye kürküm ye), Ready

Money (Peşin parayı gördün de)- in rhyme. Another

source from the 16th century, when his jokes began to be

universal, is that of Basîrî (a poet from the time of Bayazit

II died c. 1535) in his work Letâif where he relates two

Nasreddin Hodja stories. In the same way four stories and

one anecdote about Nasreddin Hodja can be found in the

Mecmâü’l Letâ’if (c. 1531) begun by Lâmi’î Çelebi of Bursa

and completed by his son Abdullah or Derviş Mehmed. A

record in the 1581 work Kitâb-ı Mir’ât-ı Cihân by Osman

of Bayburt shows Nasreddin Hodja as a patron in 784.

The story told by Yahyâ of Taşlıca in the 29th stanza of his

poem Gencine-i Râz, dated 1594, about the pitcher which

was filled with honey at the top but soil at the bottom

(the story called ‘The Fault’ is not in the document) is

an attempt to criticize in verse the practice of bribery

in judicial proceedings. In the work by Muhyî (d. 1533),

Menâkıb-ı İbrahim-i Gülşenî, there is a Nasreddin Hodja

story (He died and came to give the news of his death).

The Nasreddin Hodja story (The tap which had its mouth

shut) is to be found in Nev’izâde Atâyî’s work (d. 1635)

Sohbetü’l-Ebkâr. The Polish traveller Simeon visited the

tomb of Nasreddin Hodja when he came to Akşehir in 1618

and recorded this in Vol 3 of his “Travels of Simeon”. Evliya

Çelebi, who came to Akşehir in 1638, gives information

about Nasreddin Hodja in his “Book of Travels.” In

his work, Evliya Çelebi gives space to the story about

Tamburlaine (You’re not worth five farthings) as related

by Nasreddin Hodja and this mistakenly suggests that

Nasreddin Hodja and Tamburlaine were contemporaries.

Evliya Çelebi describes Nasreddin Hodja as being similar

to the witty Arab hero Djuhâ, This demonstrates that

the attempt to combine the two witty heroes into one

is groundless. In the journal written about Murat IV’s

campaigns to Revan and Tabriz, the section which

introduces Akşehir informs us that “Nasreddin Hodja lies

here.” The Niyâzî-i Mısrî’ (17th century) memoirs relates

8

a Nasreddin Hodja story about a lady who took bribes. In

the Riyâzü’ş-Şu’arâ (Riyâzî Mehmed Efendi; 17th. century)

and Tuhfetü’l Haremeyn (Yusuf Nâbi; d. 1712) there are

records of Nasreddin Hodja. An anonymous work called

Menzilname (possibly 18th century?) tells us about Akşehir

and says that the tomb of Nasreddin Hodja is in the city,

and recommends it be visited. In a work (completed in

1675) written by Hüseyin Efendi of Ayvansaray, now in the

Library of Topkapı Palace Treasury, various information

about Nasreddin Hodja’s life is given.

Data about Nasreddin Hodja from the second half of the

15th century has been mentioned earlier. From the 16th

century onwards, in particular, the stories of Nasreddin

Hodja began to be transferred from oral culture into

written culture and are to be found in many documents.

In the same way, it can be seen that, after the beginning

of the 16th century, the stories of Nasreddin Hodja were

written down from memory in individual writings. Today

9

the oldest extant written story

about Nasreddin Hodja can be

dated to 1571 from a book

bearing the title Hikâyet-ı

Kitab-ı Nasreddin Hodja.

Written by an individual

called Hüseyin, this work

contains 43 stories.2 An important

evaluation of Nasreddin Hodja has

been published by Pertev Naili Boratav.

Boratav informs us that, apart from the

early manuscript OR.195 to be found

in the Bodleain Library, in the National

Library in Paris alone there are 12

manuscript stories about Nasreddin

Hodja, the earliest of which dates from the

16th century and the latest from the 19th century. In the

library of the Ankara University Faculty of Languages,

History and Geography, among the writings of İsmail Sa’ib

is a 142-page book written in 1171 (1777) and catalogued

as No: 1/1838 under the title of Hikâyât-ı Hâce Nasreddin

Hodja Efendi.3 Mustafa Duman has found and collected

together 68 manuscripts about Nasreddin Hodja and says

the number may increase.4

As well as the works mentioned above, sources of

information about Nasreddin Hodja increased with the

inception of printing. Kâtib Çelebi’s Kitab-ı Cihânnümâ

is accepted as being the first printed work to mention

Nasreddin Hodja. Interesting information is also to

be found in the following printed works: ed- Dürrerü’l

Müntehabâti’l Mensûre f î Islahü’l-Galatâti’l-Meşhûre

(1806; Mehmed Haf îd), el-Okyanûsü’l Basît f î Tercemetü’l-

2 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: p 64 3 Boratav, 1996, Op.cit.: pp 9- 16.4 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: p 129

the

cont

evaluation

been publi

Boratav in

early man

in the Bod

Library i

manuscrip

10

Muhît (1887-8; Mütercim Ahmed Asım), Kethüdâzâde

Efendi’nin Terceme-i Hâline Zeyl-i Âcizânemdir (1877;

Emin), Âsâr-ı Perîşân (1880; Mehmed Tevfik), Kâmûsü’l-

a’lâm (1889; Şemseddin Sami), Menâkıb-ı İslâm, Dârül-

Hilâfeti’l-aliyye (1908; Ahmed Rasim), Yâd-ı Mâzî (1914;

Bereketzâde İsmail Hakkı), “Konya Vilâyeti” (1922; Dr.

Nazmi). Moreover 136 stories about Nasreddin Hodja

collected by I. Kunos are contained in the seventh volume

of the work in 8 volumes called “Hoca Nusrattın Efendi”.5

b. The Name of Nasreddin Hodja:Nasreddin Hodja is variously referred to in writing

as “Nasrüddin, Hace Nasrüddin, Nasrüddin Hace

(Saltukname), Nasreddin Hodja (Mehmed Gazali-

Dafiü’l- Gumûm Rafiu’l Humûm), Nasirüddin Hace

(Güvâhî- Pendnâme), Nasreddin Hodja (Evliya Çelebi

Seyahatnamesi), Nasrüddin Hace (Riyazi Tezkiresi)”

though today Nasreddin Hodja is the version generally

accepted. In early writings it became usual to refer to

Nasreddin Hodja as “Hoca Nasreddin Rahmetullahı

aleyh” and it is this which makes it possible to separate

the original Nasreddin Hodja from other individuals with

the same name..6 The Turkish people came to Nasreddin

Hodja through such records and agree that these describe

him as an individual of status. On the other hand, while

some people stress that in the stories the phrase “Hoca

merhum, bir gün” comes from Nasrettin Hodja himself

and shows him to have been a historic individual, others

see this simply as a revision of an old saying which had

come down through the years.

In different times and in different places Nasreddin Hodja

has been known by different names. Known as Nasreddin

Hodja in the Turkish world, in other places he is given

the names “Nesirdin Ependi, Ependi (East Türkistan),

5 Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: pp 19- 25.6 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: p 42

11

Kocanasır/Kojanasır (Kazakistan), Apendi (Kırghızistan),

Hojanasreddin (Karakalpak Turks), Efendi (Tacikistan),

Hâce Nasreddîn (Başkurtistan), Nasriddin Afandi, Afandi

(Özbekistan), Ependi, Nasreddin Ependi (Türkmenistan),

Molla Nesreddin (Azerbaijan), Molla Nasreddin

(Iraki Türkmen), Nasır (Karaçay), Molla Nasreddin,

Nasridin (Kumuklar), Nasreddin Oca (Crimean Tatars),

Nasreddin Hodja (Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus,

Western Thrace), Nastradin, Nastradin (the Gagavuz

Turk), Nusrettin, Molla Nasrettin (Ahıska Turks),

Nastredin (Balkan Turks), Molla Nasreddin, Nasridin,

Molla Nasruddinni (Kumuk Turks-Dagestan), Nasra

(Karaçaylar)”. Some of the names used in other countries

are “Nasiruddin Hojjga (Bangladesh), Molla Nasirudin,

Molla Nasıruddin, Nasreddin Hodja (Pakistan), Molla

Nasreddîn, Molla (Iran), Nasreddin (Russia), Afanti

(China), Nasaret (Chechenistan), Nasreddin Hodzsa,

Nasreddin Hodsa (Hungary), Nasratin Hogea (Romania),

Nasraldi (Bulgaria), Nasreddin Xotzas, Anastratin

(Greece), Koja (Nogay Turks), Nusreddin, Gasdanî,

Aslanî (Greek Cypriots), Nasradin, Strandilhoca, Stradin

(Macedonia), Nasrudin Hodza (Bosnia and Herzegovina),

Nastro, Nastroya (Albania), Nasrudin Hodza, Nasradin

(Serbia), Hoscha Nasreddin, Hodscha Nasreddin,

Nasreddin Chodja (Germany), Nasreddin Hodja (France),

Molla, Molla Nasreddin (India)”.7

An evaluation of the above facts shows that while the

name “Nasreddin” is widespread, in the sources the

pronounciation and written form vary according to the

different tongues or dialects. This also shows that the

“Nasreddin geographical region” is wide and varied. This

reveals and records the fact that the countries and peoples

7 Boratav, 1996, Op.cit.: pp 68-88.; Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: pp

27- 28.; Atatürk Cultural Centre, 2009, Information on the International

Symposium on the 21st Century Understanding of Nasreddin Hodja,

AKM Pub., Ankara.

12

thus united by Nasreddin Hodja all share a common

humanity within their own region and have transformed

Nasreddin Hodja and placed him high among those

heroes who are both sophisticated and intelligent.

c. The Life and Family of Nasreddin Hodja:In the light of the information available on Nasreddin

Hodja, it seems he was born in 1208 in Hortu (today known

as Nasreddin Hoca) village, Sivrihisar, in the province

of Eskişehir, an area where people who enjoyed jokes

and had a sophisticated outlook on life lived.8 Another

source informs us that he was born in Sivrihisar.9 At that

time it was said that Sivrihisar was a place where people

cleverly combined criticism and wit. Whether he was

born in the village or the town, it is generally accepted that

Nasreddin Hodja was born in Sivrihisar. His father was

the imam, Abdullah Efendi.10 Unsupported

information gives his mother’s name as

Sıdıka11, though one story reports

that she was his step-mother.12

An old document supports the

rumour that Nasreddin Hodja

had a sister.13

8 Yıldırım, Dursun, 2008, Nasreddin Hodja Fıkralarından Seçmeler, Milli

Eğitim Bakanlığı Pub., Ankara: pp 1-2.9 Konyalı, İsmail Hakkı, 1945, Nasreddin Hoca’nın Şehri Akşehir, Istan-

bul: p 732.; Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: p 19.10 Köprülüzade Mehmed Fuad, 1918, Nasreddin Hodja, Kanaat Matbaası

ve Kitaphanesi, Istanbul: p 9.11 Önder, Mehmet, 1971, Nasreddin Hoca, Türkiye İş Bankası Pub., Istanbul:

p 12.12 Kut, Günay, 1992, “Nasreddin Hikayeleri Yazmalarının Kolları Üzerine

Bir Deneme”, IV. Milletlerarası Türk Halk Kültürü Bildirileri,(IVth Inter-

national Turkish People’s Cultural Information) Vol.II, Ankara: p 182.13 Kut, 1992, Op.cit.: p 169; Boratav, 1996, Op.cit.: p 130; Sakaoğlu ve Alp-

tekin, 2009, Op.cit.: p 29.

pported

me as

13

Nasreddin Hodja received his first schooling from his

father and after his father’s death worked as an imam for a

while. In 1237 Nasreddin Hodja went to Akşehir in order

to improve himself and continue his education. He lived

for an important part of his life there among renowned

savants. According to another claim, Nasreddin Hodja

went first to Konya before passing on to Akşehir.14 In

Akşehir Nasreddin Hodja became the student and friend

of Seyyid Mahmûd Hayrânî and Seyyid Hâce İbrahim

Sultan. This information comes pious foundations

receipts for properties belonging to these savants to which

Nasreddin Hodja was a witness. Moreover, according to

these documents, Nasreddin Hodja was at that time a

trustworthy and respected person who was able to witness

such receipts in the presence of a judge.15

Although there is insufficient information concerning

his wife and other relatives, based on the stories various

speculations have been made about these. One source

tells us that Nasreddin Hodja’s wife was buried in Kozağaç

Village near Akşehir.16 It is also rumoured that after his

first wife’s death Nasreddin Hodja married a second

time.17 According to Nasreddin Hodja’s tombstone he

had two daughters, Fâtıma Hâtun (the elder) and Dürrü

Melek Hâtun (the younger); other stories say he had a son.

According to another source, he had two sons (the name

of one being Ömer) and it is said that their tombstones can

be found in the cemetery at Sivrihisar today protecting the

Nasreddin Hodja Kümbet.18 In some sources, references

14 Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: p 33.15 Yıldırım, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 2-3.16 Köprülüzade, 1918, Op.cit.: p 10.17 Önder, 1971, Op.cit.: p 63.18 Kaya, Nuri, 2010, “Röportaj: Sivrihisar’a Hayatını Adayan Orhan Kes-

kin”, Eskiyeni, p. 22, December 2010: pp 82- 83.

14

to Nasreddin Hodja’s relatives (a grandson, together

with Hacı İsmail, Abdüsselam) are found. Istanbul’s first

judge, Hızır Bey Çelebi, the celebrated scholar of the day

and father of Sinan Pasha, was born in Sivrihisar in 1407

and it is said that Nasreddin Hodja was his great-great

grandson.19

Although Nasreddin Hodja was engaged in several

different jobs, most of his life was spent as an imam,

preacher, professor of theology, judge or farmer. Nasreddin

Hodja died in 1285 in Akşehir aged 77 or 78 His tomb,

open on five sides with a huge locked gate on one side

and a dome raised on six marble columns is in the great

cemetery in the centre of Akşehir (a Seljuk cemetery).

The first gravestone inscribed to Nasreddin Hodja is not

extant today. According to some reports a stone from 683

(1285) was found during the last restoration of the tomb;

the stone there today, wrongly inscribed with the date 386,

is a different one. 20

Later claims were made concerning “Nasreddin Hodja

from Kastamonu, Nasreddin Hodja from Kayseri,

Nasreddin Hodja from Akşehir (Akşehir born and bred),

Nasreddin Hodja from Sivrihisar (born and bred in

Sivrihisar), Nasreddin Hodja from Isfahan, Nasreddin

Hodja Tûsî from Azerbaijan, Nasreddin Hodja from

Bukhara, Ahi Evren Şeyh Nasirü’d-din Mahmud (Ahi

Evren and Nasreddin Hodja were the same person).

There is no scientific evidence for these but it shows the

strength and widespread influence of the traditional wit of

Nasreddin Hodja.

19 Lamiizade Abdullah Çelebi, 1994, Latifeler (Hazl. Yaşar Çalışkan), MEB

Pub.: pp 89-90. with Ünver, Süheyl, 1944, Kadıköy’üne Unvanı Verilen

Hızır Bey Çelebi, Hayatı ve Eserleri (1407- 1459), Istanbul: pp 38-39.

Duman and others, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 39-44.20 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: p 26

15

B. STORIES CONCERNING B. STORIES CONCERNING NASREDDIN:NASREDDIN:

F olk-tales began to be woven around the real life

of this outstanding character. If we take the first

drop in the bucket as his real life, the bubbles that

appear around this constitute the myths created around

him. In time this mythical life ignored the nucleus and

cemented his character. Just like that of Mevlana and

Yunus Emre, the life and character of Nasreddin Hodja

gained a mythical quality. To put it another way, the

gaps and uncertainties in his life were made up for in the

tales told. While on the one hand folk tales incorporate

his real life, on the other hand, his development into a

popular hero creates a requisite uncertainty about the

truth of these stories. In fact, one can see that the real-life

Nasreddin Hodja has been elevated to a kind of wise man/

dervish in the tales created by the Turkish people.

According to reports, Nasreddin Hodja’s book consisting

of love poem and words of wisdom was lost when Emir

Temür Bey came to Akşehir. According to another report,

one day Nasreddin Hodja got up, sat on his tombstone,

and said to the guard, “Go and tell the people of Akşehir

to come here from the mosque as I have something to

say to them.” Surprised, the guard ran to the mosque

and did as Nasreddin Hodja had commanded. When the

people in the mosque came to the tomb they couldn’t see

Nasreddin Hodja, but as they were returning, there was an

earthquake and the dome of the mosque collapsed. In this

way, the congregation escaped death. Other stories are

used to show belief in the saintly character of Nasreddin

Hodja from Akşehir. For example anyone who gives a

wedding party will be sure to visit the tomb of Nasreddin

Hodja in order for the bridal couple to enjoy a peaceful and

happy married life He will be invited to the wedding and

asked to bring the wise men with him. In a similar way the

corner at the head of the table is reserved for Nasreddin

16

Hodja and left empty. According to another tale in the

region, a person who visits the Hodja’s tomb and laughs

will bring bad luck. Earth from the tonb of Nasreddin

Hodja is believed to be good for various illnesses (such as

diseases of the eye). The poet Nesimi together with Hallacî

Mansur and Şeyh Şüca are said to have been followers of

Nasreddin Hodja, and there are people who say that in a

dialogue with Murat III a descendent of Nasreddin Hodja

related the joke played on Evliya Çelebi by the cemetery

guard.21 It is possible that this data when newly added

to the mythical character of Nasreddin Hodja began the

creation in the hearts of the people of Nasreddin Hodja as

the philosopher’s philosopher.

21 Yıldırım, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 6-13.

17

C. NASREDDIN HODJA’S C. NASREDDIN HODJA’S HUMOROUS WORLD:HUMOROUS WORLD:

D iogenes and Nasreddin Hodja, considered to be

a descendent of Aesop as a thinker, represent

the anecdotes which are basic to the form. The

protagonists in many types of anecdote in the Turkish

world and throughout the universe bear resemblances

to Nasreddin Hodja. “Mämmetveli Kemine or Mıralı

(Türkmen), Aldar Köse and Tazşa (Cossacks), Soruk Bollur,

Naara Suox (Saha-Yakuts), Lapşu Stappan (Çuvaş Turk),

Tastarakay (Altay and Hakas people), Özenbaşlı Ahmet

Ahay (Crimean Tatar), Behlül Dânende (Irak), Karakuş

Kadı, Ebu Nuvas, Telhek, Daho, Cuhâ (Arab), Cuhâ el-

Rûmî/Ottoman Cuha, Balakir, Işkodralı, Shepherd, Hiter

Peter/Hitır Pitır/ Hitar Pitar/ Hitar Peter/ Clever Peter,

Pıkala/ Pacala, Iter Peyo/ Clever Peyo (Balkan countries;

Bulgaria, Romania, Macedonia), Şalver Köse, Bozacı Kosti,

Petri the Liar(Gagavuz; similar adapted and local types),

Simonas Staneviçius (Lithuanian type of anecdote),

Till Eulenspiegel (Germany), Şeyh Çilli, Lal Bucakkar,

Birbal, Molla Do-Piyaze (Pakistan), Müşfiki (Tacikistan),

Bertoldo, Giuf/ Giuha/ Giubali (Italy)”22 are some examples

of these. This shows that on the one hand stories similar to

those of Nasreddin Hodja were created while on the other

Nasreddin Hodja became an exponent of the universal

witty anecdote. In fact, in these stories Clever Peter is of

the same type as shown in those of Nasreddin Hodja. In

this kind of story some types are integral to those in the

Nasreddin Hodja stories or are simply shown in a change

of scene so that many times it can be said that these types

are adapted or created from that of Nasreddin Hodja. In

all of these stories the common ground is that “life must

be seen in reverse” or from the opposite point of view.

22 Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: pp 63-104.

18

The stories given below, taken from Mustafa Duman’s

work entitled Nasreddin Hodja ve 1555 Fıkrası (Nasreddin

Hodja and his 1555 Stories) and collected together with

the input of many researchers, show that Nasreddin

Hodja is beloved by and identified with people from many

diifferent nations.23 Moreover, these stories throw light

on remembered Nasreddin Hodja stories. It should be

emphasized that there are many versions of these stories

which are given in a somewhat adapted form below:

Georgia:

One day Molla Nasreddin Hodja dressed himelf in black

and went out. On seeing him people asked him, “Hey,

Molla, what happened, why are you dressed in mourning?

He replied,” Don’t say anything, let Azrail think that I am

dead.”

The Halac:

One day Molla Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey fell over a cliff

and died. The Molla brought the people of the village to

the edge of the cliff and said, “Look, my donkey fell down

here and died. When you return to the village, don’t annoy

me with questions such as ‘Where’s your donkey?’ or ‘How

did it fall?’.

Western Thrace:

Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Teacher, what’s the hardest

thing and what’s the easiest thing in the world?” He replied.

“The most difficult thing is to know oneself and the easiest

is to give advice to others.”

Macedonia:

Nasreddin was lying on the river bank surveying his

surroundings. Suddenly at one and the same time his eye

was caught by a cow grazing in the meadow and a crow

flying in the air. The Hodja mused, saying, “Oh, God, why

is it that crow which is of no use to anyone can fly, while

23 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 399-584.

19

the cow which is so useful to man can’t?” No sooner had

he said this than something wet hit his forehead. The

Hodja then exclaimed, “Oh, Almighty God, once more you

have shown that you are the greatest and most omniscient

being. If that had been a cow flying up there what would I

look like now ?”

Albania:

The Angels decided that Nasreddin Hodja had lived long

enough and it was time for him to die. The Hodja asked

them for time to perform his ablutions and say the five

ritual prayers. With God’s approval, they allowed him to

do this. After performing his ritual ablutions and saying

the first prayer, the Hodja rose and sat down. When the

angels asked, “Why are you sitting down, Nasreddin

Hodja?” he said, “Well, I’ve said the first prayer, but I’ll say

the second one when I feel like it.” On account of these

words, God showed mercy on him by granting him forty

more years to live.

Turkish Cypriots:

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was chanting the call to

prayer from the minaret, he noticed that something had

fallen on his turban. When the call to prayer was finished,

he took off his turban and saw that a bird had shat on it.

He raised his head and saw that a large crow was perched

on the top of the minaret. The Hodja said to the crow, “If

you’re a Muslim, don’t disturb the man chanting the call

to prayer; if you’re not a Muslim, what are you doing on

the minaret?”

Bulgaria:

Nasreddin Hodja asked Clever Peter: “Peter, can I trust

you to keep a secret?” Peter answered, “You can trust me

as much as you trust yourself.” Then Hodja excalaimed, “In

that case, I’ll never trust you!”

Nasreddin Hodja wrote in his will that he wanted to

be buried in an upright position. When asked why, he

answered, “To leave space for other people.”

20

Romania:

As his belly was growling, the Hodja went

into a cookshop for a bowl of soup. After he

had waited for some time, the cook brought

the soup. When he saw the soup the Hodja

said, “I don’t want that. Take it back. I want hot

soup.” The cook was surprised and said, “But,

Hodja, you haven’t even tasted the soup. How do

you know it’s cold?” The Hodja replied, “From your

finger which is in the soup.”

The Gagavuz:

Nasreddin Hodja met one of the municipal authorities

in a narrow street. As the street was so narrow one of

them would have to give way to the other. The man said

to the Hodja, “Step aside. I don’t give way to every Tom,

Dick or Harry I come across.” Stepping aside, the Hodja

said, “I do!”

United States of America:

A man who had been crossed in love many times said to

the Hodja, “I’m always falling in love with beautiful women

but I never find one who responds. Isn’t there a remedy for

this?” “Well,” said the Hodja, “why don’t you try falling in

love with an ugly woman?”

Serbia:

Nasreddin Hodja owed someone 200 kurush and hadn’t

paid his creditor. The creditor went to the judge and

complained about Nasreddin Hodja, The judge asked

Nasreddin Hodja about this matter. “Yes,” said the Hodja,

“it’s true. I owe this man 200 kurush. But for four years I’ve

been asking him for three months’ grace in which to pay

off the debt. He doesn’t grant me this so how can I pay off

my debt?”

One night the Hodja went out into the street and

started to crow like a rooster. The neighbours asked,

2121

“Hodja,what’s up?” “I’ve got a lot of work to do today so I

want the dawn to come quickly,” he said.

Croatia:

Hodja Nasreddin was sitting in front of his house, resting.

A neighbour came by and said, “Your donkey started

braying very early this morning. What happened?” The

Hodja replied, “What are you asking me for? Go and ask

the donkey.”

Finnish Tatars and Kazans:

Once upon a time the sultan went

hunting. He ate his lunch at a

caravanserai run by Nasreddin

Hodja. The Hiodja asked the

sultan for one thousand akca

in return for the omelette he

had cooked for him. The

sultan was surprised and

said, “My Goodness,

that’s very expensive.

Are hens and eggs

scarce in these

parts?” The Hodja

replied, “There are

plenty of hens and

eggs around here but

sultans are harder to find.”

Azerbaijan:

One day a dervish, who had

been eavesdropping on Molla

Nasreddin’s conversation,

boasted, saying” I can

get whatever I want out

of Molla Nasreddin,” and

went to find the Molla.

He said to him,

“Molla, I have

22

a question for you. I see that you are a wise man and will

give me thr right answer.” “Go ahead, ask your question,”

said the Molla to the dervish. The dervish asked him about

Adam and Eve and ended, by saying”Look here, because

of Adam and Eve, you and I are brothers. So I’d like you

to give me some money.” Molla Nasreddin handed the

dervish a penny. When the dervish complained that, that

was too little, Molla Nasreddin said to him, “Don’t let your

other brothers hear of this or you won’t have even as much

as that. And in any case, if we are brothers, you should

give me something, too.” After saying this, he took back

the penny he had given the dervish.

Molla Nasreddin was asked, “Molla, you are a learned man,

you must know. How many stars are there in the sky?” The

Molla replied, “To tell the truth, I’ve often thought about

counting the number of stars in the sky. But it so happens

that they can’t be counted from the ground. You have to

go up into the sky to count them. However, i am so busy

during the day I don’t have time. And at night, it’s so dark,

I’m afraid of falling.”

One day a person who listened to noone, respected noone

and upset or ill-treated everyone, said to Molla Nasreddin

as an excuse for his behaviour, “What can I do? It’s not my

fault. It’s the dough I was made from.” In reply the Molla

said, “It’s not the fault of the dough, it’s the cooking of it.

You were kneaded well but left unbaked.”

Uzbekistan:

When Nasreddin Efendi was a child at school, he asked

the teacher difficult questions. One day the teacher said to

him, “Don’t boast of your knowledge. Many of those who

are clever and quick in childhood grow up to be stupid and

slow.” Nasreddin Efendi retorted, “That means you, too,

were clever and quick in your childhood.”

Nasreddin Efendi had a headache and was deaf in one

ear. Feeling unwell in this way, he went to one of the city

23

judges. In order to tease him, the judge said, “Efendi, you

are welcome. What’s the matter with your ear? Perhaps

you borrowed it from a donkey.” Without turning a hair,

Nasreddin Efendi said, “That’s right. God divided up the

donkey’s head and gave you the brains and me the ear.”

Nasreddin Efendi was asked how a person could become

wise. This is what he said: “If a wise man is speaking, lend

him your ears. If it is you speaking, listen to what you are

saying.”

The sultan had built a defensive wall around his palace.

When Nasreddin Hodja asked the builders why it was so

strong, they said, “So his enemies can’t climb over it.” The

Hodja then asked another question: “From the inside or

from the outside?”

The Tatars:

A man who had lost his purse suspected one of his

neighbours had stolen it but neither of them owned up to

the deed. The judge of that area, Nasreddin Hodja, learned

of the situation and summoned the two supects. He gave

each of them a stick, saying, “These sticks I’ve given you

are of equal length. Bring them back to me tomorrow. The

stick of the guilty person will have grown by a span.” The

next morning the suspects brought back the sticks and

gave them to Nasreddin Hodja. On examining the sticks,

Nasreddin Hodja saw that one of them was a span shorter

than the other. It seems that the thief, believing that his

stick would grow by a span and thus reveal his guilt, had

shortened his stick by a span. Nasreddin Hodja said to the

owner of the short stick,” It was you who took the purse.

Now give it back.”

The Kırghız:

Apendi was talking with his young son. The son asked

him, “Father, are we good people?” Apendi replied, “Of

course, we are good people, my son.” Then the son asked

him again, “Well, if we are, why don’t the troubles hanging

24

over us go to the bad people? Apendi replied, “Troubles

don’t want to live with the bad people. It’s because we’re

good people that our troubles don’t want to leave us.”

Nasredddin Apendi had bought an ox one day from the

marketplace and was taking it home. On the way he

encountered an acquaintance of his who pestered him

at length with foolish questions such as: Who did you

buy the ox from? How much did you pay? How old is it?

etc.etc. Unwillingly, Apendi replied. Before he had gone

another five steps, he came across another acquaintance.

He, too, asked, “Apendi, did you buy an ox?” Apendi

answered, “No, I didn’t buy an ox. The ox bought me. Ask

it your questions.”

The Uygurs:

In order to tease Hodja Efendi, one day a man asked him,

“What a pity it is that your mother is dead. Otherwise I’d

have married her and you’d have been my son. “It isn’t too

late for that,” retorted Hodja Efendi. “Give your daughter

to me and I’ll still be your son.”

A greedy man had eaten too much at a feast and his

stomach began to ache. Nasreddin Efendi asked him why

he had eaten so much. “It was someone else’s food, that’s

why,” he replied. Then Nasreddin Efendi said, “The food

may have been someone else’s but the stomach belongs

to you.”

One day Nasreddin Efendi brought a sheep to the

marketplace to sell. When someone asked him the price,

Nasreddin Efendi said, “I bought this sheep for five liras

and I am going to sell it for six. However, if this price

doesn’t suit you, I’ll sell it to you for seven. As the real price

of this sheep, however, is eight liras you’ll have to give me

nine. If you want to buy it and take it away immediately,

that’ll be ten liras.”

Nasreddin Efendi used to make long baggy trousers called

shalvar. A rich but miserly man came to him and said,

25

“Make me a pair of shalvar made of stone so they won’t

wear out.” The Hodja replied, “I’ll do that but first bring me

as much sand as you can.” When the man asked the Hodja,

“What are you going to do with all that sand?” he replied,

“It’s to line the shalvar with.”

In order to cause Nasreddin Hodja Efendi trouble, a molla

asked him, “What is the name of the devil’s wife?” Not to

be outdone, Nasreddin Hodja Efendi said to the molla,

“You’re the one who knows where the devil sleeps. It’s you

who know the name of his wife.”

One of the mollas once asked Nasır Efendi, “Don’t ask,

there are so many people coming to see me that I can’t

find time to say any prayers. I’m wondering how to get rid

of them.” Nasır Efendi replied, “Ask them for a loan, They’ll

not come near you again.”

Nasreddin Efendi was tired of being poor. One evening

as he was sitting by the wall of his tumble-down house,

he prayed, “Oh God, you are Almighty. Either take my

life or relieve me of this poverty.” At that minute, with a

great rumble, the wall began to collapse. Escaping with

difficulty from under the rubble, Nasreddin Hodja Efendi

exclaimed, “Oh God, you may not be interested in my

request but- strike me dead- you don’t even let me finish

what I have to say.”

A city gentleman said to Nasreddin Efendi, “Efendi, you

are a learned man, tell me when the Day of Judgement will

come.” Nasreddin Efendi replied, “The day after you die.”

“How do you know that?” the gentleman asked. Nasreddin

Efendi: “Because that’s the day when the quarrels over

your inheritance will turn the world upside down.”

A neighbour asked Nasreddin Hodja Efendi to lend him

his sieve. Nasreddin Hodja Efendi said, “I would have lent

it to you but it isn’t empty. My wife is keeping water in

it.” The neighbour protested, saying, “Nasreddin Hodja

Efendi, how can water ever be kept in a sieve?” Nasreddin

26

Hodja Efendi replied, “If a person doesn’t feel like lending

his sieve, forget about keeping water in it, he’ll even spread

flour on a rope.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was engaged in selling honey, a

crafty merchant wanting to cheat him, asked for a pot of

honey. While Nasreddin Hodja was weighing the honey,

he started to pester him with questions. When Nasreddin

Hodja asked for the money for the honey, the merchant

said, “I think I gave it to you while we were talking.” Sizing

up the siuation, Nasreddin Hodja took the pot and poured

the honey back into the bowl. After wiping the pot clean

of any honey, he gave it back to the man empty, saying, “I

think you ate the honey while we were talking.”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja Efendi had got on his

donkey and was on his way to the city, he met the city

judge. Before he could greet him, the donkey began

to bray. The judge, angry at this, said, “You have a very

disrespectful donkey, Nasreddin Hodja Efendi, it brays at

quite the wrong time.” Efendi replied, “Actually my donkey

is very respectful but when it sees friends like you, it

becomes so overcome with joy it forgets itself.”

One day the city judge, in order to play a joke on Nasreddin

Hodja Efendi, said to him, “Efendi, I’ve heard that you see

everything double. Is that true?” Nasreddin Hodja Efendi

replied, “That is true! For example, at this minute I see you

have four feet.”

An elderly village shepherd said to Nasreddin Hodja

Efendi, “A wolf ate most of the sheep I was rearing. Can

you tell me if there is anywhere in this world a wolf which

won’t eat sheep?” Nasreddin Hodja replied, “Well, yes of

course there is. A dead wolf won’t eat sheep.”

Turkmenistan:

One day Nasreddin Hodja’s son felt very cold when he

went to bed. When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he

asked his father, “Does the cold shiver?” When Nasreddin

27

Hodja Efendi replied, “No son, the cold doesn’t shiver,” the

son asked him again, “Well, if it doesn’t shiver, why does it

come under my blanket?”

Kazakhstan:

One day a merchant had the town crier proclaim, “The man

who drinks the Black Sea dry will be given one hundred

akça.” When Nasreddin Hodja heard this he came to the

merchant and said he would drink the Black Sea dry. All

the people gathered together at the given time and place.

“I’m ready,” the Hodja announced. The merchant said.

“Very well, then let’s begin,” but the Hodja said, “First of

all, you must stop these rivers flowing into the sea so that

I can drink up the water without it increasing all the time.”

The merchant then acknowledged he was beaten and gave

Nasreddin Hodja the hundred akça.

When Nasreddin Hodja was returning from the

marketplace he found a purse full of gold. Showing the

purse to everyone, he asked, “Who’s lost his money?” A

poor man answered, “That money is mine.” Later a rich

man appeared and protested, “No, that purse is mine.” The

Hodja looked at the man and asked, “Is this purse really

yours?” The rich man, overjoyed, replied “Yes, the purse is

mine.” On hearing this, the Hodja emptied the money out

of the purse and gave the purse to the rich man and the

money to the poor man.

One winter’s day a gentleman met Nasreddin Hodja on

the road and said, “Even though I’m well wrapped up, I’m

still shivering. But you are dressed in rags. Don’t you feel

cold? What’s your secret?” The Hodja replied, “The secret

is that my clothes are full of holes. The cold enters through

one hole and goes out through another one. But when it

enters though a hole in your clothes, it can’t find another

one to go out of. That’s why you’re shivering.” On hearing

this, the gentleman exchanged his new clothes for those of

Nasreddin Hodja.

28

On waking up from a dream in which he dreamed he

had swallowed a live rat, a cross-grained neighbour of

Nasreddin Hodja’s asked him what the meaning of this

could be. The Hodja replied, “This dream means that you

must swallow a live cat”.

Nasreddin Hodja was walking along talking to himself.

Someone saw him and asked him, “Hodja, why do you

go around talking to yourself?” Without showing any

reaction, the Hodja replied, “All my life I’ve enjoyed talking

with intelligent people, one of those intelligent people

happens to be me.”

A foreigner came to the city where Nasreddin Hodja lived

in order to learn the Tatar language. When he complained

to the Hodja that it was a difficult language to learn, the

Hodja replied, “Our language is easy to learn. In fact, even

our children can speak it.”

While Nasreddin Hodja was planting young fruit tree

saplings in his garden, one of his neighbours asked him,

“When will these trees mature and give fruit? You’ll never

get to eat that fruit.” The Hodja retorted, “Of course, none

of us will eat the fruit of these trees I’m planting. We eat

the fruit of the trees the people before us planted. Let the

next generation eat the fruit from our trees.”

One evening Nasreddin Hodja came running agitatedly

out of his house. When his neighbours saw him, one of

them went and asked him where he was going. The Hodja

replied, “I’m going to hide the night.” When the neighbour

asked him why, the Hodja, “You idiot! So that at night

thieves can ’t steal and keep us awake.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was walking along the river

bank when the official robe he was carrying over his arm

fell into the river. Then the Hodja exclaimed “Oh! What a

good thing I wasn’t wearing my robe or I’d have fallen into

the water and been carried away, too.”

29

One night the stove in Nasreddin Hodja’s house went out.

Nasreddin Hodja’s wife asked him to go and fetch some

kindling to light the fire again. The Hodja said to her,

“Light the fire first and then I’ll look for some kindling.

How can I find anything in the dark?”

Nasreddin Hodja one day wanted to go out visiting. As

his shalvar (baggy trousers) were old, he put on a new

pair borrowed from a neighbour and went off to make his

visits. As the shalvar were a bit too big around the waist,

they kept slipping down. When people told him, “Hodja,

your shalvar are falling down,” he replied, “Let it fall if it

wants to, that’s not my shalvar.”

Nasreddin Hodja was very hungry and asked his wife

to prepare something for him to eat. His wife said, “Be

patient, just see how beautifully I’m saying my prayers.

You can fill your belly later.” The Hodja replied: “Oh!

Beauty doesn’t fill the belly.”

A certain man had come to Nasreddin Hodja’s house

several times but could never find him at home. This

time he waited for a while and then as noone arrived, he

wrote “Donkey” on the door and left. The next day he met

Nasreddin Hodja in the street and said, “Hodja, I came

looking for you yesterday but you weren’t at home.” The

Hodja replied, “Yes, I knew you’d been there.” When the

man asked him how he knew this, the Hodja said, “You

wrote your name on the door.”

Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja, why is sea water

salty?” The Hodja replied: “So the fish won’t smell.”

Iran:

Nasreddin Hodja asked his wife why she didn’t know how

old she was. She replied, “Every day I count the things in

the house, so that if anyone should steal something, God

forbid, I’ll know it’s gone. I never think of counting my age.

Who’s going to steal that?”

30

31

32

Molla Nasreddin Hodja asked his wife, “What will you

need to cook pilaff today?” His wife answered, “I’ll need

five kilos of rice and two kilos of butter.” When Nasreddin

Hodja asked her, “Isn’t two kilos of butter too much for five

kilos of rice?” his wife retorted, “The pilaff one dreams of is

always best when it’s buttery.”

Molla Nasreddin Hodja’s friends were begging him to

invite them to visit him. As the Molla was poor he didn’t

want to do that. But one day his friends got together and

came to his house to pay him a visit. Nasreddin Hodja

set the table and asked them to sit down, saying. “Eat

according to what your pockets provide.” After eating

their meal and making conversation, the guests got up to

leave. They then realized that their kaftans and shoes had

disappeared. Then Molla Nasreddin Hodja said, “Your

kaftans and your shoes are at the pawn-broker’s. I got a

loan from him in order to put food on the table. If you go

and pay him back the money, you can get your kaftans and

your shoes.”

A poet who had no talent once read his poems to Molla

Nasreddin Hodja. When Nasreddin Hodja said, “That’s a

very bad poem,” the poet got angry and began to curse and

swear with great eloquence. Then Nasreddin Hodja said,

“My son, your prose is ten times better than your poetry.”

Molla Nasreddin Hodja went to the marketplace to buy

a beast of burden. The villagers at the marketplace were

busing buying and selling donkeys. One of the men

Nasreddin Hodja came across complained to him, saying,

“There’s nothing in this marketplace but peasants and

donkeys.” When Molla Nasreddin Hodja asked him. “Are

you a peasant?” the man replied “No, I’m not.” “Then you

must be from the other group,” said Nasrettin Hodja.

Molla Nasreddin Hodja was walking with one of his

friends in the country when an ox bellowed. As a joke, his

freind said to Nasreddin Hodja, “Look, the ox is calling

you.” Whereupon Nasreddin Hodja went up to the ox and

33

acted as if he were talking to it. When he returned, his

friend asked what the ox had said to him. He answered,

“The ox asked if it was fitting for me to make friends with

a donkey.”

One day Molla Nasreddin Hodja collected the people

together and said to them, “This year plant seedless cotton

seeds so that next year we won’t have to separate the seeds

when we harvest the cotton. When you sow the cotton

seeds, scatter a few strands of wool among them so that

you can make clothes for yourselves when the weather

gets cold.”

A certain man claimed that he was an astrologer. Molla

Nasreddin Hodja asked him who his neighbour was and

when he did not get an answer, exclaimed, “How can a

man who doesn’t know his own neighbour give us news

about the stars?”

While Molla Nasreddin Hodja was preaching a sermon,

someone asked him a difficult question. When the Hodja

said that he didn’t know the answer, the other retorted,

“Well. if you don’t know the answer, why did you climb

into the pulpit?”. Molla Nasreddin Hodja replied, “I

climbed into this pulpit to tell you what I know. If I had

wanted to climb into a pulpit to tell you what I don’t know,

the pulpit would have ended way up in sky.”

Molla Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Why don’t fish speak?”

Molla Nasreddin Hodja gave this answer, “You don’t know

the language spoken by the fish. Whoever hears your

words knows the language fish speak.”

34

D. THE PHILOSOPHER OF D. THE PHILOSOPHER OF PHILOSOPHERS:PHILOSOPHERS:NASREDDIN HODJANASREDDIN HODJA

N asreddin Hodja is the philosopher of all

philosophers who created that realism and

wit which is the basis of Turkish humour and

critical thought. He represents the main Turkish and also

universal, type of wisdom found in the comic heroes of

stories based on a satirical way of thinking and a humorous

perspective. One must look at evaluations of Nasreddin

Hodja as a historical identity, together with those of him

as a philosopher of philosophers, from different points

of view based on assessments of the critical thought and

wit created in the anecdotes. Some researchers adopt

the view of Nasreddin Hodja as a historical person and

their approach to the anecdotes about him is to claim that

some of the stories may or may not be his. This selective

appraoch makes use of historical facts, on the one hand,

and, on the other, of various definitive characteristics

to create a different or “storybook” type of Nasreddin

Hodja. The approach by means of the “Nasreddin Hodja

anecdotes”24 is the basis, going back eight centuries, for

the essential Nasreddin Hodja as a philosopher among

philosophers, created by the Turkish people. For this

reason, Nasreddin Hodja and the wealth of stories created

about him has a dynamic character. The main type of

figure in the Nasreddin Hodja stories is a product of the

people’s collective memory. The means for creating this

comes from the historical person known as Nasreddin

Hodja. In contrast to this, there is no information as

24 Oğuz, M. Öcal, 2009, “Nasreddin Hoca’nın Fıkraları mı, Nasreddin Hoca

Fıkraları mı?, 21.Yüzyılı Nasreddin Hoca ile Anlamak, Atatürk Kültür

Merkezi Pub., Ankara: pp 555-560.

35

to the way Nasreddin Hodja acted at the time when he

actually lived. In fact, the Nasreddin Hodja stories began

to circulate only two centuries or so after the time when he

reputedly lived. From another point of view, the Nasreddin

Hodja stories, enriched by the introduction of various

differences, have carried on from that day to this. In this

way, Nasreddin Hodja has stepped outside the boundaries

of his own times and geographical area and become a

universal hero of witty anecdotes. The area from where

Nasreddin Hodja came and the times in which he lived

today have an important place when considering humour

around the world and will be mentioned more and more

often in the future. For a young researcher surfing the web

Nasreddin Hodja has the same place in virtual reality as

Tamburlaine does. Nasreddin Hodja, with his eighty years

of living history, has turned into an undying philosopher

of philosophers. Created and supported by the people

for over eight centuries, Nasreddin Hodja, who actually

lived for eighty years, has been turned into an undying

philosopher of philosophers. Nasreddin Hodja, created by

the Turkish people, later combined with other universal

comic characters to become the representative of such

a type. In conclusion, it may be said that the typical

Nasreddin Hodja figure is a product of different times and

places. Thus, Nasreddin Hodja has transcended time and

place and can be said to be a philosopher of philosophers,

created according to the critical thought and pervading

humour of his own region and times. For over eight

hundred years, he has been giving an education to those

interested followers of his school of satire and humour.

Nasreddin is introduced in the Turkish-speaking world as

a combination of those personalities known throughout

the world as critical figures in the communal memory

of such types. According to Dursun Yıldırım, together

with having a historical identity, Nasreddin Hodja is the

greatest representative of individual creative wit; he is

36

the type created by the people as the representative in

their folk stories of wit, intelligence and perception.25

Nasreddin Hodja is the philosopher of philosophers,

an amalgamation of universal story-type heroes. Umay

Günay describes Nasreddin Hodja as “a universal type

in whom the Turkish spirit is found to be embodied.”26

According to Gülin Öğüt Eker “Nasreddin Hodja, teaches

people how difficulties can be solved through experience

and how to live with their weaknesses; he supports the

idea that reason and constructive criticism can be used to

solve problems through a spirit of compromise even in the

most sensitive issues.” Nasreddin Hodja has in particular,

the special characteristics of a counselor, a protector of the

people, a folk-hero, a social critic, a reconciler, a therapist,

a preacher, a master of words, a management advisor, and

bellwether. 27

No cultural event or figure can stay alive for 800 years

without being acknowledged by the people. Nasreddin

Hodja, taken as the Turkish folk philosopher or, in a more

topical phrase, as the embodiment of the Turkish method

of critical thought, has for centuries been the people’s

teacher and transmitter of knowledge. Nasreddin Hodja

teaches the coming generations how to make jokes through

the pleasing medium of the folk-story with its systematic

method of critical thought. The Nasreddin Hodja stories

possess a refined essence and strength which show how

the most complicated issue can easily be solved without

straying away from a systematic thought process.

25 Yıldırım, Dursun, 1999, Türk Edebiyatında Bektaşi Fıkraları, Akçağ

Pub., Ankara: pp 25-26. 26 Günay, Umay, 1990, “Nasreddin Fıkraları ve Masallar Konusundaki Dü-

şünceler”, Ist International Nasreddin Hodja Symposium Information,

Ministry of Culture pub., Ankara: pp 99-103.27 For quote and other sources see Eker, Gülin Öğüt, 2009, İnsan, Kültür,

Mizah, Grafi ker Pub., Ankara: pp 119-122.

37

A careful examination of the typical fictional comic

hero shows that this hero has become a symbol of the

society’s way of critical thinking. Representative critical

thinking should be kept alive in every period through

the main distinctive methods (whether verbal, written

or printed, electronic or virtual reality) in other words,

they must exist in the best methods of their time. In this

way, the distinctive wit of the time will be carried on

from generation to generation through its existence in

collective/cultural memory.

The impossible reality of the way Nasreddin Hodja is

shared among cities and countries is a mystery which

has been carried down through the centuries. Whereas

Mevlana, Yunus Emre and Hacı Bektaş-ı Veli symbolize

the heart, Nasreddin Hodja symbolizes the intelligence and

together they create the basic philosophy of the Anatolian

Turkish people. Cultural memories of a time before the

advent of Islam were carried by the Turks into Anatolia

in the 13th to 14th centuries (a time when individuality

achieved its zenith) and there became synthesized into a

new, independent and immortal personality. It must be

accepted that when civilizations unite they form a superior

individuality. Nasreddin Hodja is the chief cultural figure

in the transportation of the Turkish system of critical

thinking and, therefore, the outstanding concept of its wit,

into a new geographical area, into the present age and into

the future. The stories of Nasreddin Hodja, based on an

unseen but creative and intelligent mind, are foremost in

the recording of the satirical world of folk philosophy.

Every description or explanation concerning Nasreddin

Hodja presently and in future is a unified whole. It is

one with what has been transmitted from the past to the

present and what will live on into the future. Nasreddin

Hodja represents every kind of profession, every class,

each rank and file of society and unites every separate

individual within a universal social identity. The different

specialities displayed by Nasreddin Hodja in the stories

38

demonstrate the kind of critical thinking which, on the

one hand, internalizes this localized yet common identity

and, on the other, ensures its intellectual development.

We all have our own Nasreddin Hodja. Every researcher

or literary analyst creates Nasreddin Hodja according to

his/her own point of view or, rather, according to her/

his own personality. Even so Nasreddin Hodja gives each

individual and each univeral identity the opportunity to

become the other and look from the outside in. Those who

can get past the barrier created by the clothes Nasreddin

Hodja wears can consider, from a critical point of view,

the profession, class and society to which they individually

belong. The great importance of this in the development

of an individual and universal identity should be stressed.

Within this concept, Nasreddin Hodja as a historical

character is not significant. In fact, everyone has a bit of

Nasreddin Hodja in them. In particular, the minute one

espouses analytical thought one becomes a “Nasreddin

Hodja.” Many researchers declare that the dynamism

which creates analytical thought is the basis of wit.

Consequently, Nasreddin Hodja is the driving force in the

world of folk philosophy and analytical thought.

39

Proverbial sayings are extremely useful when researching

Turkish folk philosophy. These have not been dwelt

on sufficiently in the preparation of a catalogue or in

considering the relationships between one kind or field

and another. In Turkey the relationships between folk

philosophy, proverbial sayings and the Nasreddin Hodja

stories should be examined anew. The recognition of a

relationship between a story and a proverb would throw

light on Turkish folk philosophy as well as on the basis for

the system of analytical thought. Some proverbs which

may be considered further include the proverb, “He who

pays the piper calls the tune.” Although it is not known

whether it was the story or the proverb gave rise to the

other but it is obvious that there is a relationship between

the two. As a result, cultural creativity, form, element and

tradition become mutually influential. Under this mutual

influence new forms, new traditions and new elements

appear. Therefore we may say that the nucleus of the

cultural genetic code of folk philosophy can easily be

observed in proverbs and anecdotes.

The image of Nasreddin Hodja seated backwards on his

donkey is symbolic of “looking at the world from another

point of view, of “reading between the lines” This makes it

obligatory to read the canon of Nasreddin Hodja stories,

either created by Nasreddin Hodja himself or others, or

an out of the ordinary-event, by reading it crosswise or

between the lines Moreover, the natural or intrinsic wit

hidden in the Nasreddin Hodja stories becomes clear

when we read between the lines. A critical and positive

examination of humour, that is, by extension, the Nasreddin

Hodja stories, shows that those who having opted out of

what we call the river of life and are looking at it from the

banks, must be shown the monotony of their existence.

Read from between the lines, the Nasreddin Hodja stories

allow us to pass from the objective world to the world of

the mind. Criticism of the opposite sex and back chat are

40

the main themes of the anecdotes.28 One should be aware

that this analysis and individual criticism remind one that

it is this basic dynamic which leads to the development of

the society and the individual.29 On the other hand, the

appearance and development of this analytical yet creative

way of thinking as a congenial medium through its wit is

accepted by everyone. This is because the most creative

moments of a person’s life come when one wants to read

between the lines. It is humour and an analytical outlook

which trigger this creativity. The development of humour

is seen when analytical thought and creativity put forth

fresh shoots. The younger generation’s relationship with

this humour breaks down when they take the words too

seriously. To expect individualism from security, formulaic

thought and memorized knowledge is not a realistic

approach to life. On this subject, Nasreddin Hodja has been

a guide for many centuries. Nasreddin Hodja must become

the background for an education in analytical thought

about the whole of life, including such areas as beliefs,

management and sexuality. No boundaries should hinder

Nasreddin Hodja. Just as wit creates and feeds analytical

thinking so analytical thinking creates and feeds wit. All

those who are forced to ride the right way on a donkey and

perceive the world in the same way as everyone else, those

who have no value or individuality from the point of view

of the outlook and wit seen in Nasreddin Hodja’s stories,

could become the subject of an independent Nasreddin

Hodja story. Nasreddin Hodja is the symbol of those who

perceive life by seating themselves backwards on a donkey,

who desire to turn the world upside down, consequently

the symbol of critical thinking and trenchant wit. What

28 Feinberg, Leonard, 2005, “Mizahın Sırrı”, Halkbiliminde Kuramlar ve

Yaklaşımlar-2, (Ed. M.Ö. Oğuz ve S. Gürçayır), Geleneksel Pub., Ankara:

pp 487- 502.29 Hançerlioğlu, Orhan, 1979 (5th Edition), Felsefe Sözlüğü, Remzi Kitabe-

vi, Istanbul.

41

everyone one in the world knows, sees and has an opinion

on can not be said to be of much interest. Nasreddin

Hodja continues to look at the world, people, events,

values, traditions, accepted ideas, in fact, even beliefs from

a different angle and teaches people in the same way he

has done for eight centuries. For this reason, he is one of

the most important characters in the history of philosophy

in Turkey and throughout the world.

A topsy-turvy world is the symbol of a desired and

independent cultural creativity, of a festive spirit and

in particular, of the world of comedy, wit and analytical

thinking. A festive atmosphere begins to flow through

the medium of humour and critical thinking, bringing a

stressed-out existence back to life. Within this framework

Nasreddin Hodja gives life equilibrium and health. With

Nasreddin Hodja life is questioned, re-appraised, decoded,

eased, enriched and developed. In other words, for

existence/ communal life to continue in an ordered way,

there is a need to read between the lines, as realized in

the world of tolerant wit. Just as Nasreddin Hodja stories

are placed in a definite context so humour removes all

differences and advocates equality and, therefore, peace

throughout the community. Humour through creative

advice ensures that solutions to social and individual

questions will be produced and universally accepted.

Moreover, humour is influential in a period when the ideas

of a deep-rooted culture and civilization are changing.

Such a time of change and revolution is the reason for the

Turkish people, and other nations, to determine what kind

of humour and what type of story, and therefore to turn to

Nasreddin Hodja. In this way, the elements of individual

and social foreign culture make themsekves known in

the analytical world of humour and meanwhile choose to

continue their existence within such a concept. The real

elements of humour, and therefore of Nasreddin Hodja’s

stories, live on in the refined memories of the community.

Many cultural elements were unable to be destroyed

42

or changed in the period before and during the Islamic

period and continue to live on in the Nasreddin Hodja’s

stories. These elements explain the Turkish people’s

view of the world, or rather their critical appraisal, which

has gone on developing from the first period of history

and come down to the present day. The collective mind,

which created Nasreddin Hodja and turned him into the

philosopher of philosophers, reflects at the same time the

joint legacy of humanity.

Just as the wit of Nasreddin Hodja became clearly apparent,

so analytical thought was produced and developed in a

world where tolerant humour and a different aspect on

life could exist side by side. A humorous man’s face is

full of smiles and so the symbol of a smiling face chosen

to represent comedy must be acccepted as the basis for

the development of the human thought process. In the

saying “A joke is the product of a witty mind” this factor

is being emphasized.30 Here what is called a witty mind is

the creative analysis and positive thought process which is

expressed through humour. As a result Nasreddin Hodja,

with his philosophical smile, has become the symbol of a

joke which takes a critical look at mankind and throughout

the ages instructs us how to pass on this gift of humour.

It can be understood that, at the beginning of the

Common Era, the change in the system of belief brought

about a division of matters into serious and non-serious;

over time the attempts to elevate seriousness to a higher

plane did not quite achieve the expected result. In fact, it

can be seen that the greater part of the culture, traditions

and values which have existed for thousands of years,

even the collective memory, was created by non-serious

matters on a non-serious plane. To seat Nasreddin Hodja

the right way round on his donkey and thus create an

30 Şakacı, Figen, 2007 (3. Edition), Mizah Zekanın Zekatıdır, “Tarık Minka-

ri Kitabı”, (Söyleşi) Türkiye İş Bankası Pub., Istanbul.

43

artifical ‘seriousness’ has hidden behind it the image of

Nasreddin Hodja seated backwards on the donkey, thus

falsifying the separation into serious and non-serious and

thereby showing the unifying strength of life perceived and

interpreted as a whole. “To sit backwards on a donkey”

is the symbol of the Turkish folk-philosophy created by

approaching life from a different angle. Nasreddin Hodja

sitting backwards is the satirical outlook of the people

themselves. The sentence, “You know best,” implying

a hidden criticism, is equal in the world of humour to

the creation by everyone of a Nasreddin Hodja type in

his own image. The Nasreddin Hodja type of story was,

in fact, created in opposition to the artificial separation

of life into serious and non-serious matters. Nasreddin

Hodja represents the type of philosophical person created

by the people to remove all forms of separation and thus

make everyone equal. It is worth reminding ourselves that

the donkey is accepted as a symbol of wisdom. Nasreddin

Hodja’s being presented as both judge and imam strongly

emphasizes this idea of equality in life: in law and in

religion everyone is equal. In the Nasreddin Hodja stories

those who use methods to distinguish themselves are

criticized by means of the reader/writer. Thus in the

Nasreddin Hodja stories the tendency towards every kind

of differentiation seen in education and rooted in status is

the main subject for criticism.

In addition, the birth of humour sandwiched between the

serious and the non-serious, and the intrinsic criticism

hidden in the seriousness on which it is based, which later

became more artificial, is brushed aside in this approach.

Lack of seriousness is not humour. Criticism is a defining

factor of humour. To artificially solemnize Nasreddin

Hodja strengthens his sense of humour. In contrast to

this, Nasreddin Hodja is not lacking in seriousness. He

is a symbol of the balance in life required by nature. He

is a symbol, not of division, but of the unity which, by

equalizing, denies any form of separation. Finally, in the

44

stories of Nasreddin Hodja there is a secret magic which

creates a unifying equaity, teaches the art of analytical

thinking, and forces development and adaptation.

With regard to the view of the recreation of the image,

it is accepted in both Turkey and the rest of the world

that the fixed and widespread image of Nasreddin

Hodja is open to reinvention and enrichment through

new characteristics. The real type of Nasreddin Hodja

story describes the main character through well-known

imagery. The main humorous Nasreddin Hodja type of

image/ actor starts from the beginning period of imagery-

making and it is clear that there is no foreseeable end to

this. The people who created the main Nasreddin Hodja

figure will decide on how auxiliary or peer figures will act.

The main Nasreddin Hodja image was born from many

complementary/ peer/ inferior images and his image is

still evolving. The period during which the main image

was resolved was one of uncertainly and diverse opinion

on the hero’s life. During this time the stories and legends

had an important function. The Nasreddin Hodja main

type was well known, created from the self or joint image

seen at different times. The image of Nasreddin Hodja is

famous. While in each story or legend Nasreddin Hodja is

timeless, there is also a factor which helps to create a new

image of him.

Knowledge engenders discussion on the relationship

between analytical thought and humour. To interpret

humour from the point of view of life is the philospher’s

basic rule. Wit is the individual portrayal of this. The

humorous way in which those who see the futility of

artificial seriousness and turn the irritations of life into a

joke is its source. Positive or productive criticism and the

humour related to this put knowledge and, therefore, life

on a level attainable in maturity. Wit makes fun of life and

is the basic means of becoming mature and philosophical

about life. It is for this reason that Nasreddin Hodja is the

philosopher of philosophers, the teacher of philosophers

45

past, present and future. Nasreddin Hodja’s fund of wit

is, from one point of view, a school and a storehouse of

wisdom.

As well as the ordinary people, at the head of those

who created Nasreddin Hodja as a type of wit and critic

come the researchers of the last century and today. Every

researcher creates a different image of Nasreddin Hodja

in his analytical criticism. This creates a dynamism in

Nasreddin Hodja lore and characterization. There is no

end to this. On the other hand, the Nasreddin Hodja

fund of wit has become that of all mankind. As a result

of this, the proclamation by UNESCO of 1996 as the year

of Nasreddin Hodja, who, as the main representative of

Turkish analytical thought and of universal wit, has become

a common denominator to all people, was meaningful.

In the Nasreddin Hodja stories the main thought, wisdom,

outlook or approach presents the concepts of femininity/

introductory speech /curiosity in contrast to masculinity/

eloquence/ ability to reply in order to create a polished

dialogue. The same method is used in folk drama,

which is the creator of Turkish wit, and can be found in

humorous writing and comic books, and can generally

be encountered as the basis used by film and television

producers and broadcasters. The Nasreddin Hodja stories

are introduced by Nasreddin Hoca, the point is made by

him and it is he, as the people, who reveals the truth. The

dialogue in these anecdotes usually starts with a question.

Questioning is the basic tool for the dissemination of

knowledge. The question comes from either an individual

or society, but they can always provide their own answer.

A society in which the entrenched system of education

is of question and questioning, of interrogation, rather

than the contrary, answers and answering, is capable of

producing answers to the questions of others. Those

who can ask questions and know how to interrogate are

the descendents of Nasreddin Hodja. He teaches Turkish

society how to first ask questions, to ask different questions

46

about similar events and therefore produce answers. By

questioning memorized learning, taboos, and pre-formed

judgements, these are made to disappear and the individual

is freed. Thus, societal development opens the way towards,

primarily, the dimension of rational thought.

The dialogue technique of question and answer is an

influential communicative device which makes clear the

relationship of an individual with other people. For this

reason, in courses dealing with personal development

and leadership which have recently become the mode, the

Nasreddin Hodja image as seen in the stories has been

used to produce effective results. The personality of the

philosopher’s philosopher improves on the lessons the

era’s leaders learn from life. The story in which Nasreddin

Hodja is asked, “Teacher, how can I become a man?” and

replies, “If someone is listening, speak; if someone is

speaking, listen” is an example which explains this. Those

Nasreddin Hodja and Sufi stories which state as a principle

of life “Speak little, think a lot” bear a striking similarity in

the direct counterpoint seen in this oft-repeated piece of

advice.

The Nasreddin Hodja story continues even today to be the

type which teaches Turkish society the Turkish language,

effective delivery and how to establish relationships. The

truth is that Nasreddin Hodja speaks to the people in their

own language which lives on and is developed through

the medium of story-telling. For this reason, every

section of Turkish society resorts to Nasreddin Hodja

when describing themselves. They make him a point of

reference which everyone will understand when one of his

effective stories is related. The art of humour and analytical

thought has developed in those who can establish

meaningful relationships between themselves and other

people. In the same way that an Englishman learns the

language of Shakespeare, so Nasreddin Hodja imparts an

effective use of Turkish; the Turkish language, which is

one of the most mathematical in the world, continues to

47

teach and develop an analytical way of thought. Turkish

vocabulary first developed in the area of humour from

which stories were made up which enriched, developed

and gave life to the past and handed the substance of it

down to the future. It must be remembered that only

Turkish can create the world of Turkish thought and there

is a working relationship between language/thought and

critical thinking/humour. In creating humour, the mother

tongue is a tongue which looks at humour from a critical

perspective while at the same time creates, develops

and enriches thought. Anecdote, caricature and comedy

are all subjects for research in teaching both the mother

tongue and a foreign langauge. Distilled in the vocabulary

of a language, humour ensures that a meaningful play on

words and a distinctive voice is achieved in the language

involved.

Hasan Pulur, Çetin Altan ve Selahattin Duman, who are

today the followers of Çaylak Tevfik and Ahmet Mithat

in written culture and experts in media humour, continue

the traditional Nasreddin Hodja style of critical wit in

their newspaper columns and books. In their columns

they make frequent reference to Nasreddin Hodja and

create their own figure of Nasreddin Hodja. As a result,

the Nasreddin Hodja stories are evaluated according to

the period of development of jargon and culture in the

Turkish press.

As the stories have their roots in oral culture, it is claimed

that masculinity is dominant in Nasreddin Hodja stories.

The Nasreddin Hodja anecdotes emerges from two

different socio-cultural areas, the public and the private

(domestic) domain. In many cases the Nasreddin Hodja

anecdotes are carried over from the domestic to the

public domain and so become entwined or unified. Often

the masculine or feminine connections or the division

which is dependent on gender disappears. Again in oral

culture and, therefore, in a period when the masculine sex

dominated, the uncertain position of women in Turkish

48

society is reflected in the criticism of this in the Nasreddin

Hodja stories. “Unity, equality” is what Nasreddin declares

and what is explored by both raconteurs and listeners who

immediately begin to question this uncertainty when they

recognize it. In contrast to this, while in the public domain

the woman seems to lose, in anecdotes concerning the

home women are quite dominant. It is interesting to

notice that, while Nasreddin Hodja can win over any one

else, he can by no means make his wife obey him. As a

result, witty women, who are on the increase today, are the

spiritual descendents of Nasreddin Hodja.

In the era following the period of reform (Tanzimat)

humoristic journalism and traditional caricature the

literature of wit in written form, developed from the

humour remembered through oral culture did not reflect

the question of nationalism. The influence of the Nasreddin

Hodja stories on this is immense. The well-known image

and stories of Nasreddin Hodja are sure to be encountered

in on-going publications. For Turkish humorists

Nasreddin Hodja and his fund of stories are a source of

infinite treasure. Some Turkish humorists who bring out

journals in the name of Nasreddin Hodja, contrary to

artists in other fields, stress on every possible occasion the

honour they feel for being the descendents of Nasreddin

Hodja. They dedicate their writing to Nasreddin Hodja,

the inspirer of their work and the ancestor and mentor of

the newspaper column, and they will continue to do so.

The indisputable basis of this tradition is the work of an

open-minded individual and the adoption of this approach

attracts attention. On examining western examples, it may

be seen that models have been taken and adapted to the

Nasreddin Hodja figure who symbolizes the wise type

of intellectual. Traditions and creations not fed by their

own cultural memory have been unable to overcome the

question of nationality. As a result the wit of Nasreddin

Hodja is today, as in the past, the source of individual

freedom and humanism in Turkish society.

49

A dynamism is to be found in the Nasreddin Hodja

stories and an atmosphere which leads to individual

and community competition in analytical thought.

Competition, one of the functional dynamics of life, is

seen to be the basis and and subject of the Nasreddin

Hodja stories. From the minute the desire to tell the story

is felt by those in the field of humour, they are captured by

the spell of its critical wit. Thus, in the telling, anecdote

after anecdote, concept after concept is born. Everyone

is affected by this storm of ideas, the influence of which

is spread throughout the kind of analytical thinking that

begins with humour. For such a storm to begin, the mind

must be struck by a lightning bolt of wit or analytical

thought. Wit, which appears as an individual creation,

before long becomes a communal property. This is why

the fund of Nasreddin Hodja stories is the product and

symbol of the Turkish sense of humour and consequently

of the world of analytical thinking.

Though the medium of the Nasreddin Hodja, Turkish

society and humanism criticizes every aspect of life. As

the whole of life is subject to humorous criticism in the

Nasreddin Hodja stories, Nasreddin Hodja has become

50

a kind of composite hero derived from other stories of

this kind of critical wit. For this reason, Nasreddin Hodja

is a central figure, in fact, the centre in all public spaces

such as the market, or the street. Thus light is thrown on

socio-cultural life from a humorous yet critical angle. In

fact, however distant the Turkish people may have been to

the life of trade in Ottoman society, Nasreddin Hodja was

right in the centre of it.

The untouchability of Nasreddin Hodja attracts notice.

The philosopher of philosophers, whose critical

observations enlighten every area of society, is himself

not to be criticized. People have made this a special

characteristic and it is on this that his immunity feeds.

Otherwise, within a short time, another type of Nasreddin

Hodja would naturally have been created. Up until now,

this had not happened and this proves that he can be

neither questioned nor restricted. This untouchability

has prolonged his life for centuries. In brief, as long as

there is anything left to criticize, Nasreddin Hodja will

continue to be the Turkish and universal symbol of critical

observation, that is to say, he will live until the end of time.

Like Bekri Mustafa, İncili Çavuş, Bektaşi and Temel,

Nasreddin Hodja is portrayed as the everlasting comic

hero and philosopher of philosophers through an

amalgamation of all classic or contemporary anecdotal

stories. Like a jigsaw, he brings together many parts to

make a unified whole. In fact, new parts are always being

added to the main picture. Nasreddin Hodja represents

either the main character in the story or the many sides

of this which are brought together in the protagonist.

Nasreddin Hodja, the universal representative of Turkish

humour or critical thought, is also the creator of many

different kinds of character. Nasreddin Hodja enriches and

develops the main type of protagonist to reveal a new type

of fictional character. It may be said that underlying the

main protagonist in the story are other Nasreddin Hodja

anecdotal types. The main Nasreddin Hodja type is a

composite from which sub-types are created and continue

51

to be recreated according to the subject people wish to

criticize. As long as people go on creating Nasreddin

Hodja in their own image, he will continue to be reshaped.

The multitude which appear during this time will all be

brought to life under the name of Nasreddin Hodja. The

many different forms seen in the Nasreddin Hodja canon

bear witness to this.

Another point which attracts attention in the Nasreddin

Hodja stories is that, while everyone tries to put Nasreddin

Hodja to the test, he himself does not. This is not a

situation meant only to show Nasreddin Hodja’s tolerant

attitude. In reality people are evaluating themselves in the

person of Nasreddin Hodja. What is being put to the test

here is life itself. Individually and as a whole, the stories

of Nasreddin Hodja make people look at themselves and

pass private judgement. Like Yunus Emre and Mevlana,

Nasreddin Hodja leads one to contemplate and question

one’s inner self.

Nasreddin Hodja brings all people, establishments,

traditions, values and opinions under the magnifying glass

of critical observation so an evaluation of these, as well

as of self, becomes a main theme. It is he who begins this

process to be carried on by those who show the courage

to step into the shoes of the person under scrutiny, and

to make this the centre of a personal inquisition; in short,

such a person will have the objectivity, ability and authority

to evaluate all aspects and members of communal life.

Nasreddin Hodja himself will be accepted as the central

critic on his own terms as a philosopher. The private

enquiry begun by the philosopher will teach a lesson to

others. He holds up for criticism not just what is obvious,

such as gender, but what is swept under the carpet, hidden

in a corner or even suppressed in the sub-conscious such

an exploration ensures the health and rejuvenation of an

individual or a society.

Nasreddin’s character and stories are the source of the

creation, transference, education and development of

52

analytical thinking in Turkish society. In connection with

this, one may mention the Nasreddin Hodja school of

analytical thinking where the same person, the narrator,

is both student and teacher, both group and society.

The culture of this school both creates and maintains a

different product and tradition.

As in the stories, analytical thought has the special quality

of strengthening and activating those who create, renew

and develop a society. The stories explain in a more

explicit way what is found in proverbs, the distillation

53

of analytical thought. Proverbs based on the last word

provide the basis on which the story is created. In general,

it is said that the proverbs arise from the stories. From

a critical point of view, what is innate to the story is to

be found in the argument or short explanation. What

is hinted at in the words of the story is here refined to

become realized as the proverb. The words, which are

couched in masculine expression in the story, become

in time a proverb. On the other hand, in order to knead

the raw material of the cultural area, to get away from the

multi-dimensional word heavy/dense, and to develop the

54

ability to think analytically some dynamic such as a story is

needed. This is explained as a period of maturity in verbal

culture and philosophical events. Then the object is to go

from the diffuse to the essential from word to meaning.

The strength of the Nasreddin Hodja canon is hidden in

this constructive particularity.

The expression used in the Nasreddin Hodja stories, from

the point of view of narration, is seen to be quite simple and

comprehensible. Analytical strength is gained from simple

and comprehensible expression and description. There is

no room for misinterpretation in the philosophical school

of Nasreddin Hodja. This is a feature of the main character

of Nasreddin Hodja and of his critical thought. There are

no unnecessary words in his anecdotes. Attention was

paid to this characteristic in choosing the stories for the

last section.

To introduce Nasreddin Hodja under the slogan of “the

man who makes the world laugh” is not a very apposite

approach. Instead of saying “laughter-provoking thought,”

it would be more appropriate to say “Thought-provoking

laughter” and this would represent Nasreddin Hodja in a

more effective way. At this point a photograph of Einstein

sticking his tongue out at the world would complement

this image of Nasreddin Hodja. The aim of wit is to make

the critique pleasurable. This is rooted in the criticism. As

a result, it is not the timing that makes the world laugh but

the maturity of thought in the joke.

As the main character in the stories, Nasreddin Hodja

is the source of the creation, transmission, teaching

and development of critical analysis in Turkish society.

One may say that Nasreddin Hodja is the student and

the teacher in the school of critical thought, the same

Nasreddin Hodja who is the narrator to the group/society

person. In this school, different forms of cultural products

and traditions are given life and continuity.

55

Analytical thinking appears as the result of a certain

thought process or series of thoughts. Similarly the

Nasreddin Hodja stories are also based on the answer to

the questions of ‘why?’ and ‘wherefore?’. The people in

the joke situation and the way they are reflected in every

aspect of this makes the punch-line an improvisational

reflex. Without the people in the story being aware of it,

they are included in this period of critical thinking and,

therefore, in the way in which it is resolved. So wit and

critical thinking are infectious and capable of speedy

dissemination. This particularity lies at the root of the

way in which the Nasreddin Hodja stories have spread

thoughout the world. The basis of the Nasreddin Hodja

stories is to support, advise and teach this satirical criticism

of life through the medium of analytical thought, to

present a variety of criticism in a tolerant and positive way

by separating the ego from the “other.” Humour, therefore,

by extension the stories of Nasreddin Hodja, ensures the

adoption, development and rooting of empathy in the life

of the community. In this, Nasreddin Hodja represents the

Turkish people and the unity of mankind. In other words,

he is the philosopher who spends his money in the name

of peace, the stories themselves are the payment.

The Nasreddin Hodja stories are not meant to create a

fixed way of thinking in society, and it is their aim and

expectation that there will be an inquiry into such a

fixed way of thinking which will lead to its removel. The

lack of reality in this type of prejudiced thinking which

hinders the development of a society can be made clear

through the humorous and critical approach seen in the

stories. The Nasreddin Hodja stories create, develop and

renew society though their use of critical thinking. As

in the stories, analytical thought possesses the ability to

distill, activate and strengthen the creativity, adaptability,

and development of a society. The stories explain in a

more explicit way what is found in the proverbs, that is,

56

the distillation of analytical thought. The proverb is the

final, refined expression for which the story prepares the

groundwork. It is generally said that the proverbs arise

from the stories. From a critical point of view what is

innate to the story is found in the argument or summing-

up, which is then refined to become realized as a proverb.

What is hinted at in the words becomes the pith of the

proverb. The male- oriented words in the story turn in

time to proverbial sayings. On the other hand, there is

a need for a dynamic, such as a story, to knead the raw

material, to go beyond the many sided meaning embodied

in dense/full, and to develop skill in critical thinking.

This may be described as verbal culture combined with

a philosophical outlook on events. The object is to pass

from the diffused to the essential word or meaning. The

strength of the Nasreddin Hodja canon is canceled in this

constructive speciality.

From the point of view of narration, the way in which

the Nasreddin stories are expressed is seen to be simple

and comprehensible. This gives analytical crtiticism its

strength. There is no room for misinterpretation in the

philosophical school of Nasreddin Hodja. This is a feature

shared by both the main image of Nasreddin Hodja and

of critical thinking. There is no unnecessary verbiage in

the Nasreddin Hodja stories Attention was paid to this

characteristic in choosing the stories for the last section.

In the Nasreddin Hodja canon, rather than a criticism of

old/new, there is an inquiry into the continuity of life’s

natural flow and the daily round. The judge-like figure

of the ‘old’ Nasreddin Hodja is represented today by the

explorer of virtual reality on the net. The relationship

between old/new is integral to the Nasreddin Hodja form

of wit. In fact, in the world of virtual reality, at the head

of the most widely-shared subjects comes humour with

15 million references, three million of which concern

57

Turkish Humour and of these two million are on the wit

of Nasreddin Hodja (data as of July 2008). Some of these

are classic anecdotes, others newly created or adapted to

contemporary taste. In brief, Nasreddin Hodja continues

to exist, “within the novel and the new.” In this connection,

everything said or written about Nasreddin Hodja has

been added to the culture of virtual reality through the

medium of the electronic world. Thus the understanding

of Nasreddin Hodja as a one-dimensional straight line

has now become a predominantly interpreted as being

multi-dimensional. It is for this reason that, one can place

Tamburlaine side by side with the virtual reality explorers

of the 21st century at the same table as Nasreddin Hodja.

It is clear that there will be new faces at this table in future

eras. Evolving with the times and making the times adapt

to him, Nasreddin Hodja will always remain in fashion.

The desire to tell a story is strengthened by a feeling of being

impromptu. In the many theories concerning humour,

this is expressed best when there is a desire to criticize an

individual or society. As has been explained before, in a

critical approach, thought and desire are included as the

basic requirements for the creation of humour. Individuals

at the moment they become possessed of the strength to

criticize find the answers to the most abstruse questions

which form the basis of humour: “the living recognize life

through living” Humour appears at such times to provide

life’s pioneers with a little relaxation. Humour, and that is

the basic indicator of critical thinking, regards the whole

world and all people with a tolerant, positivite and creative

smile. The Nasreddin Hodja stories were created using the

same outlook.

Mevlana, Yunus Emre and Hacı Bektaş-ı Veli are the

spontaneous forerunners in this philosophy seen in

Turkish culture before and after the conversion to Islam,

and Nasreddin Hodja continues to nurture this philosophy

58

in the wit which is the basis of his stories. Mysticism and

the wisdom displayed in the Nasreddin Hodja stories

form a synthesis which is the base of the homespun

Turkish philosophy. Each of these harmoniously combines

yesterday with today, the world with the after-life, wit with

spontaneity, and tolerance with criticism in the life of the

mind. The thoughts and feelings of the Anatolian people

are fed from these two sources. Turkish people feel, think,

judge and speak, on the one hand, like Yunus and, on

the other, like Nasreddin Hodja. In the Middle Ages the

Turkish people, just as today, communicated and brought

to life through the medium of mysticism and humour

what they could not voice openly. It is through the triad

Yunus-Mevlana-Nasreddin that Turkish people regulate

their emotions. This results in mysticism and humour

which give a place in life to acceptance and resignation.

Momentary or longer-lasting troubles were, and continue

to be, overcome through the medium of mystic humour.

The expertise and variety in the character of Nasreddin

Hodja and in the stories are constantly being added to in

the life of the society. These stories are mainly enriched

through the advice they engender. It may seem difficult

to add anything new to the mature views and rich variety

of the Nasreddin Hodja stories and perhaps the new

ones are not as effective as the old. It is for this reason

that the new anecdotes added to the original canon of

the Nasreddin Hodja stories, are mainly couched in the

form of cautionary tales about contemporary life. Every

new invention feeds the fund of stories or rather the

transference of traditions from the past to the present,

and creates an acceptance of the relationship between

the oral, the written and the virtual reality of the present

which provides a natural opportunity for every kind of

cautionary tale. A few examples of the kind conveyed in

the Nasreddin Hodja stories are given below. While these

continue to show Nasreddin Hodja seated backwards on

59

his donkey, they do not forget to include the cell-phone

seen in his hand or the laptop in front of him:

• One day Nasreddin Hodja was trying to hack his way

into a Yahoo programme using a low-grade hacking

programme. He was asked by those around him

-What are you doing ?

- Can’t you see? I’m hacking into a Yahoo programme!

- Yes, but, you can’t hack into Yahoo with that programme.

- But what if I do!

• Nasreddin Hodja was once asked:

- Have you heard that a joke site has been hacked into?

- What’s that to do with me? asked the Hodja

- Well, it’s your site that was hacked into, the man replied.

- In that case, what has it to do with you?

• The Hodja was asked:

-Where is the center of the world?

The Hodja replied:

- Go into Google and search for “world center.”

• The Hodja was constantly asked to return a Windows

XP CD.

He seemed to take no notice but finally said:

- I’m using that CD as a coaster.

- Oh, is a CD meant to be used as a coaster?

The Hodja replied:

- If you don’t want to give it back, it can be used as a

coaster.

• Some friends were complaining to the Hodja:

- Hodja, your wife spends a lot of time surfing the net.

The Hodja replied:

- That can’t be true. If she were doing so much surfing,

she’d have visited our site.

• A man once asked the Hodja:

-Hodja, how many dangerous hits does your site get?

-The Hodja replied: 10.000 a month.

60

A few years went by. The same man asked the the same

question:

-Hodja, how many dangerous hits does your site get?

And again he replied: 10.000

- But hasn’t anything changed in so many years?

The Hodja retorted:

- A real man only opens his mouth once.

• One day the Hodja was on his way to a shop that sold

CDs. Some children stopped him and asked:

- Hodja, won’t you buy us some CD games ?.

At the same time one of them gave the Hodja some money

and asked him to buy the CD ‘Doom’ for him.

When the Hodja returned with his CDs that evening, the

children stopped him again and asked: Well, where are our

CDs?

The Hodja took out just one CD and gave it to the child

who had given him the money, saying:

- He who pays the money, plays the game.

• A virus had infected the Hodja’s computer. As the Hodja

was wandering around in an unhappy mood, those around

him asked:

- Hodja, who shall we fetch to look at your computer?

The Hodja said:

- Bring a man who was infected by the Çernobil Virus...

he’ll understand my position the best.

• Without seeing her face beforehand, the Hodja married

a woman he had met and chatted to while surfing the

internet. When he saw her on their wedding night, he

realized that she was very ugly. He immediately left and

went on a long journey. When his wife e-mailed him, she

asked:

- Who shall I add to my MSN list?

- “Anyone you like so long as it isn’t me,” he replied.

• While Nasreddin Hodja was playing a card game on the

internet, two jokers came into his hand. Just as he was about

61

to throw down the winning hand the connection was cut.

As the people around him began to laugh. He said,

- I would have ended the game, anyway, even if the

connection hadn’t been cut.

• One night in a dream Nasreddin Hodja was having a

conversation with another man. The man had offered

him an 80 GB computer but Nasreddin Hodja insisted

he wanted one with 160 GB. On waking from his dream

Nasreddin Hodja saw that there was no computer in front

of him so he immediately closed his eyes, saying:

-O.K. O.K. I’ll take the 80 GB one.

The stories above are generally put under the heading,

“If there had been computers in Nasreddin Hodja’s time.”

This kind of cautionary tale does not reach a mature level

of wit and can’t really be called succesful. However, it is too

62

early to pass judgement on these attempts handed on to

us through virtual reality when compared with the mature

wit and strong influence gained over the centuries by the

Nasreddin Hodja stories handed down orally.

Nasreddin Hodja reminds us of the ability to look at life

with a critical eye, something that everyone can easily do

but which gets forgotten in the bustle of life. This, together

with reminding us to smile, is the main function of the

Nasreddin Hodja stories.

Nasreddin Hodja considers in his stories people with

an average life style, or the life they develop, from a

humorously critical view point. “Cowardice, naivety,

cunning, meanness, weakness, shyness, insensitivity,

unawareness, opportunism, exploitation and sharp

dealing etc. every kind of lie, confrontation, or natural

weakness are presented and shown in a natural way

to the perpetrators.” Lies and confrontations between

people are interrogated through the question/answer

dialogue technique. The variety in human nature and

all the situations humans find themselves in are presented

in the stories. Where the individual or society becomes

locked in an impasse, the analytical humour of Nasreddin

Hodja shows a new way out. It is in times of difficulty, in

particular, that the most independent and characteristic

humour is created. The creation of a new joke or anecdote,

or type of Nasreddin Hodja becomes a new solution or

way of escape for either the individual or the society. There

is nothing that a Nasreddin Hodja story can not resolve.

The Nasreddin Hodja stories hold a giant mirror up to

mankind in which to see themselves. Nasreddin Hodja’s

philosophy is the source from which humanity finds the

courage to hold the mirror up unflinchingly. In this way an

individual or society creates its own solution. The strength

of the humour may be considered as the measure of a

society’s ability to begin to make new solutions or choices.

63

E. NASREDDIN HODJA’S E. NASREDDIN HODJA’S HUMOUR: HUMOUR:

F irst of all, the Nasreddin Hodja stories were

created through their connection with Turkish

oral culture and then became transmitted in

different cultural formats such as written or printed

(books), visual (caricature), audial (radio programmes,

CDs) and audio-visual (cinema, cartoon films, television

series) and presented to those interested in the form of

consumer goods. The Nasreddin Hodja canon creates and

enriches the socio-cultural environment. In response to

this, written and printed culture play an important part

in its development. Cultural differences in the way this

is presented transform the essence of the story and are a

source of new creations. When taking written and printed

forms into consideration, the number of stories increases,

for whatever reason, and a transformation, variety and

enrichment is seen. With every cultural connection,

new cautionary tales must be created which develop the

Nasreddin Hodja canon. In fact, while the original fund

of Nasreddin Hodja stories was only 43, the number in

the latest publication count has reached 1555. By creating

its own Nasreddin Hodja, every cultural connection,

community or individual has a hand in this collection of

stories.

Metin Ekici stresses that, because the Nasreddin Hodja

stories have the particular qualities of being both inclusive

and functional in narration, form and creation, they

will continue to be told and understood in all ages and

in all circumstances. According to Ekici they have no

boundaries as to subject matter and are phrased in simple,

pleasing words so that everyone can remember and

explain the pithy sentence which contains the punch-line;

the structural elements in the story (the hero, the situation

or event experienced, and the venue) may easily change

to suit the times. The stories function of making people

laugh and think helps the stories to be told, handed down

64

and modernized.31 For all these many reasons, Nasreddin

Hodja and his stories may be resolved through different

theories or methods of humour.32

Folklore give us valuable clues about the creation and

development of the Nasreddin Hodja stories. According

to one account, if one story is told about Nasreddin Hodja

another six are needed to make the number seven, and

so it is the custom to tell seven stories. Another says that

at one time a sheikh said to Nasreddin Hodja, “If you tell

us three hundred stories, we’ll crown you as the king of

storytellers.” “I can’t even manage two hundred, so what

would I do with three hundred?” he replied, and it is for

31 Ekici, Metin, 2009, “Gülme Teorileri ve Nasreddin Hodja Fıkraları”, 21.

Yüzyılı Nasreddin Hodja ile Anlamak, Atatürk Kültür Merkezi Pub., An-

kara: pp 271-280.32 Ekici, Metin, 2009, Op.cit.: p 280.; Türkmen, Fikret, 1996, “Mizahta Üs-

tünlük Teorisi ve Nasreddin Hodja Fıkraları”, Türk Kültürü, pp 403: 649-

655.; Eker, Gülin Öğüt, 2009, Op.cit.

65

this reason that the number of Nasreddin Hodja stories

remains at 205.33 These two reports show the attitude of

the people towards the creation and development of the

Nasreddin Hodja stories and the effect they have.

In the process of creating and enriching the Nasreddin

Hodja canon, different types of anecdotes or adaptations

may occur both inside and and outside the country. For

example, a story related by Djuha or Aesop may be handed

down and turned into one about Nasreddin Hodja. In

the same way, one of the stories in the Nasreddin Hodja

canon may be adapted to become a different type of story.

Taking into consideration the spread of the Nasreddin

Hodja humour over an ever-widening area, one may say

that the adoption of Nasreddin Hodja by different nations

and the turning of anecdotes into mainstream stories is an

important development. Otherwise, it would be necessary

to see Nasrddin Hodja as tied to a particular region. The

proclamation by UNESCO of 1996 as the year of Nasreddin

Hodja is therefore very meaningful. Nasreddin Hodja is

taken as the represantative of the type of humour that is

common in various forms throughout the world. Thus

Nasreddin Hodja’s historical identity becomes subsumed

in that of a universal and philosophical humorist.

It is accepted that the humour of Nasreddin Hodja is

enriched and broadened by such variety, amalgamation,

separation, adoption and adaptation. Many researchers

agree that at the root of these stories lies the influence

of Nasreddin Hodja’s humour and, at the same time,

they stress that he is not simply a narrator such is found

in meddah (public story-teller) stories. It is therefore

proper to show that the creative force of these Nasreddin

Hodja stories comes from the minds of the people. So it

is necessary to divide the stories up according to various

criteria; at least to show that, from a scientific point of

view, they have no originality.

33 Duman, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 48-49.

66

The influence of the written and printed word on the

Nasreddin Hodja stories is immense. It must be agreed

that from the 19th centurty onwards, these joke-type of

anecdotes, which were first collected into books after the

16th century, developed through the printing of Nasreddin

Hodja stories derived from oral sources. When put into

printed form, it was as if these stories were created anew.

While the essence of the joke remained the same, it was

re-rold or re-written each time in accordance with the

ideas of the writer. In this process the text, space, even the

minor characters, might change. In fact, it can be seen that

the older versions of the story become fuller in the later

sources. It is of benefit to stress how much these stories

were adapted in the process of being written down.

Some of the Nasreddin Hodja stories adapted in this

process were turned into rhyme. One of the first people

to do this was Ziya Gökalp. It must be emphasized that in

his adaptations, Gökalp was careful to keep the last line

of the anecdote which contained its essence. This shows

the key to success in this matter.34 In fact, later criticism is

concentrated on the fact that the punch line is sometimes

lost in the rhyming versions. In contrast to this, just as in

the fables of La Fontaine, Orhan Veli suucessfully conveys

the meaning of the Nasreddin Hodja stories he put into

verse. Controversy over the adaptation into verse of the

Nasreddin Hodja stories is concerned with the referential

element or the way the stories are versified. In the stories

references are made to the poems of Nabi, Everekli

Seyranî, Refikî and Hüdayî. Poets such as Taşlıcalı Yahya,

Çaylak Tevfik, Orhan Seyfi Orhon, Fazıl Hüsnü Dağlarca

and Ceyhun Atuf have all handed down a versified form

of one or more Nasreddin Hodja stories: Fuad Köprülü

(Nasreddin-manzum Hikayeler; 1334/1918), Orhan

34 Ziya Gökalp, 1972, Halk Klasikleri I/ Nasreddin Hoca (put into the new

system by: A. Hayati Avşar), Diyarbakır: pp 27-28.; Sakaoğlu ve Alpte-

kin, 2009, Op.cit.: p 105.

67

Veli Kanık (Nasreddin Hikayeleri; 1949), Sami Ergun

(Manzum Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları ve Hikayeleri; 1950),

Orhan Yorgancı (Şiir Diliyle Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları;

1977), Hasan Latif Sarıyüce (Manzum Nasreddin Hoca

Hikayeleri; 1978), Nejat Sefercioğlu (Nasreddin Fıkraları/

Şiir Dili ile; 1981), Nedim Uçar (Dizelerle Nasreddin Hoca

Hikayeleri; 1993), Ali Püsküllüoğlu (Nasreddin; 1993),

Aydın Karasüleymanoğlu (Şiirlerle Nasreddin Hoca;

1998), Nüzhet Erman (İpe Un Seren Adam/ Nasreddin

Hoca; 2000) and others have published individual books

containing versifications of Nasreddin Hodja stories. This

kind of book is generally considered to be children’s literature.

Poets such as Bekir Sıtkı Erdoğan, Vehbi Cem Aşkun, Behçet

Kemal Çağlar and Halide Nusret Zorlutuna have also written

poems on the subject of Nasreddin Hodja.35

It is obvious that the transformation of a Nasreddin Hodja

anecdote into a short story or other forms by different

sections, groups and nations both enriches and expands

the canon of Nasreddin Hodja stories and is an important

process. In this way, Nasreddin Hodja is transformed from

a mere story-book character into a wise and philosophical

person. It is for this reason that Nasreddin Hodja, from

being a type, turns into a representative of every side of

human nature. To describe Nasreddin Hodja as the key

character in a story is insufficient. The powerful attraction

of Nasreddin Hodja is shown by his being a hero on whom

the action is focused in stories created at different times

and in different places. What is important is the choice of

Nasreddin Hodja as the representative of critical humour.

In brief, Nasreddin Hodja and his stories emerged from

the soil of Anatolia to become a treasury for all mankind.

Naturally the transformations of the Nasreddin Hodja

stories reflect this.

35 Bozyiğit, A. Esat, 1990, “Nasreddin Fıkralarının Şiir Diliyle Anlatımı”,

Ist. International Nasreddin Hodja Symposium Information, Kültür

Bakanlığı Pub., Ankara: 41- 56; Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: pp

105-119.

68

In the Nasreddin Hodja stories “pessimism, depair,

malevolence, obstinacy, self pride, superstition, sophistry,

hypocrisy, insincerity, effrontery, cheating, pedantry,

flattery, bribery, avarice, injustice, dishonesty, empty talk,

chattering, bad manners, deceit, arrogance, violence,

ignorance, thieving, and impudence” are criticized. On

the other hand, “diligence, honesty, wisdom and tolerance,

wise speaking, modesty and truth, etc.” are praised and

recommended. Some of the principle philosophies of

life in the Nasreddin Hodja stories are these: “in order to

know the truth about something you must consider the

opposite; don’t say you’re an expert on something you

know nothing about; before making a decision, a person

ought to consider whether the result would be bad or

good; never lose despair as hope gives life; a person must

think of and take care for the future as the present gives

way to the future; choices must be made at the right time

and in the right place; don’t turn your back on beauty; be

neither mischievous nor silly, choose to be human and

wise; remember that progression and change is the basic

rule of life; a thing is either always shameful in every place

and every time or is not shameful at all; there is a balance

in the relationship of nature, the universe and man; every

question has an answer; that there is a logical explanation

for everything is immediately recognised by those who

can see it; treat a person according to how well you know

them; share with others lessons learned from life; give

work to the experts; the greatest asset and guide is a clever

mind; life is the greatest gift and most sacred right-use it

to the full; respect wisdom amd the wise; keep close to wit

and humour all your life.”36 Finally, each Nasreddin Hodja

story is a reminder to adopt one of these principles and

make life better.

36 Çotuksöken, Yusuf, 1996, “Bir Anadolu ve Dünya Bilgesi Nasreddin

Hoca”, Nasreddin Hoca’ya Armağan, (Ed. M. Sabri Koz), Oğlak Pub.,

Istanbul: pp 117-122.

69

In Turkish culture the Nasreddin Hodja stories are the

source of renewal of one of the most important features of

the Turkish culture and, by extension, the Turkish language,

which is that of proverbs and sayings. In other words, the

creation of new proverbs or sayings from the nucleus of a

Nasreddin Hodja anecdote has a hand in the enrichment

and development of the Turkish language. Some of the

Nasreddin Hodja stories are the source and life force for

the proverbial sayings which are the distilled essence of

Turkish culture. The punch line of these anecdotes which

contains the essence of the humour becomes transformed

into a saying or proverb as seen in the lines below.37

37 Ziya Gökalp, 1972, Op.cit.: pp 41-44; Tan, Nail, 2007a, Derlemeler

Makaleler 2/ Anonim Edebiyat, Ankara: pp 56-69; Tan, Nail, 2007 b,

Derlemeler Makaleler 4/ Halk Gülmecesi (Mizah) Halk Tiyatrosu, An-

kara: pp 26-27; Hacızade, Naile, 2005, “Hoca Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları

ve Deyimlerimiz”, I. Uluslar arası Akşehir Nasreddin Hoca Symposium,

Ankara: p 214; Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: pp 131- 137; Seratlı,

Tahir Galip, 2004, Mizahın Üç Ustası: Nasreddin Hoca, İncili Çavuş,

Bekri Mustafa, Selis Kitaplar, Istanbul: pp 67-68.

70

Give me my shoes and perform your ablutions.

God sends winter in accordance with the mountain. (God

tempers the wind to the shorn lamb)

Is it Allah who separates, or his slave?

Keep your feet warm and your head cool/Keep your heart

light and your thoughts deep.

Don’t cut the branch you’re sitting on.

Don’t act like a bird.

Welcome to the funeral.

To look at the price of the pot.

If you’re not walking up a mountain, walk with measured

steps.

Only the person who has fallen off a roof knows what it

feels like.

Where does the water from the mill go?

If you believe in birth, why can’t you believe in death?

Friends show themselves in giving and receiving.

The clapping of hands calls for a tune.

A mouth isn’t a bag that should be tied.

The pot-seller made the donkey afraid.

Pass, young man, pass.

To perceive what you see is a blessing from God.

Spin fine, weave stout.

To spread flour on a rope.

To wrap up the deal.

The man who grinds the coffee must be able to groan like

a man who cuts wood.

71

A goose foot doesn’t look like that.

To beat blindly.

To distribute blue beads.

Whoever has a blue bead has my heart.

He/She/It stops at every step like a molla’s pony.

Don’t ask and I won’t answer.

If the ox doesn’t teach it, what can the calf know?

Don’t die, donkey, don’t die (summer’s coming and the

clover will be gone).

He who pays the piper calls the tune.

How you laugh when you find cash.

When the owner dies, the wolf takes the donkey.

To put your money on a cat.

To raise the stakes.

The water of the gravy from the rabbit stew.

A beating’s no good after the pitcher’s been broken.

Eat the grapes. Don’t ask about the vine.

Either you’ve never been beaten or you don’t know how

to count.

Eat, my coat, eat.

No head on the camel.

The bed-cover has gone and the quarrel is over.

The following examples are the phrases which, embedded

in the daily speech of the Turkish people, have their source

in the stories of Nasreddin Hodja. The number of such

phrases may be increased. It is possible to consider all the

key-words or phrases in the stories in the Nasreddin Hodja

72

canon in this framework. The relationship between the

story and the proverb/saying can be explained through the

punchline which contains the joke. The punchline/witty

expression, just like a proverb or saying, has been distilled

into an unchangeable item. In the end, the relationship

between the proverb and the saying, or rather the working

relationship between these and the influence of their

having been handed down and protected in Turkish folk

memory from they have made their way into the Turkish

language, is and continues to be viable.

An inexperienced nightingale will sing only so well.

Passed on by word of mouth Eyup becomes ip.

If you have a brain, run to the lake.

Look where you like but don’t look at me.

When I was healthy I used to pass by that place.

Five handspans away from me.

Let those who know, tell those who don’t.

If you don’t know the opposite of something, you can’t

know what the thing is like.

There’s hope behind the hill.

Let us die a little.

Are we migrating to your house?

Here they’ll feed a man helva to his heart’s content.

A farmer is greater than a sultan.

Shall I go on?

If you can believe the words of a donkey, why can’t you

believe my words ?

I’ll cut up the kilim/sack at home to make a pannier.

The daily squabbles of a married couple turn into snores

at night.

73

A bull calf before its eyes have opened.

If every day were a holiday.

Isn’t a thief ever guilty?

Both feet in a hole.

When a man’s married, his troubles begin.

When the wolf loses its tail, just look at the dust.

There’ll be no trouble if the pot-seller doesn’t frighten the

donkeys.

74

Don’t ask me for money because I don’t give it away. If you

want a loan for a fixed time, I’ll give you as much time as

you want.

Those who eat yellow ochre enter the bridal chamber.

You, too, are right.

My left leg hasn’t undergone ritual ablution.

I haven’t sold the moon these days.

That was touched but not this.

It’s me who has the recipe.

You have flour, sugar and oil... why don’t you make helva

and eat it?

If only it should take!

The one who sells the secret of the recipe will hear the

clink of money.

When talking about the efforts made to turn Nasreddin

Hodja into a storybook hero, that of turning the stories into

poetry was mentioned. In one of the stories a poem was

criticized for the way in which Nasreddin Hodja was made

to use words from Arabic or Persian indiscriminately: a

poem was censured for drawing out the syllables to an

unnecessary length in order to make the words fit the

meter, while it was shown that those who know their abc

and can read a lyric beautifully make good poets; the moral

in some of the story-poems was conveyed in in the form

of quatrains, ballad form, tongue twisters or proverbs;

it was said that in some cases the poems weakened the

meaning.38 All of these interpretations given in the dialect

of Nasreddin Hodja show the Turkish folk’s understanding

of poetry and their preferences.

38 Sakaoğlu ve Alptekin, 2009, Op.cit.: 39- 43.

75

Humour, as found in the stories of Nasreddin Hodja, has

the lateral function of teaching as well as of entertaining,

socializing, culturalization, identification, transmitting

cultural memory, decreasing stress, manifesting

critical reaction and developing defensive and curative

mechanisms, and of problem solving. The educational

function is shown not only in epic, fable and folkstory

but also in many examples of humorous anecdote in

many works in the field. In short, the cautionary tales of

Nasreddin Hodja evoke consideration of the value of being

optimistic, tolerant, cautious, effectively critical, and of

having a harmonious marriage, and warn against arranged

marriges, polygamous unions and bad habits. These

considerations have been passed down the generations

and continue to shed light on the problems of the present

generation. In the stories of Nasreddin Hodja, the benefits

of being bilingual in education, administration and

leadership are clearly seen.

The subjects taken up in the Nasreddin Hodja stories

are the human condition (well-being, cunning,

cheating, naivety, awareness etc) and every side of life

(justice,bribery, administration, unnatural desires, jargon,

food, trade, traditions and customs, literature etc.) is

probed. The stories take place in the public space. In

other words, domestic and public space intermingle in

the stories and the distinction between these is not always

clear. In reality, there is no division between the private

and the public sphere. A large part of the action takes place

in the street or the marketplace, in short, in open spaces.

For Nasreddin Hodja the house is part of the public space.

In this way, the stories can easily be adapted to every kind

of space. The same is true when considering time. In the

Nasreddin Hodja canon, a story about Tamburlaine, apart

from details concerning historical verity, can be adapted to

every period of time. As a result, there is a flexibility in the

understanding of time and place in the Nasreddin Hodja

76

stories. In the conversation club of Nasreddin Hodja,

Tamburlaine and a young internet surfer from the 21st

century sit side by side, thus over-riding time and place.

Nasreddin Hodja lives in his own time and space, regardless

of the actual external differences. It is the Turkish people

who have taken Nasreddin Hodja out of historical time

and space and given him eight hundred years of life. It is

this which has given Nasreddin Hodja the strength to exist

and adapt over these eight hundred years. It is from this

strength that Nasreddin Hodja’s historical existence and

witty character gain meaning. And it is in this way that

Nasreddin Hodja becomes a philosopher for all sections

of society. Through Nasreddin Hodja the Turkish people

have carried their critical way of thinking and innate wit

from the past into the present. Gülin Öğüt Eker, who has

succeeded in resolving the relationship between cultural

knowledge and humour, describes Nasreddin Hodja as

the search engine and shared site of Turkish humour. As

a result, it is through the Nasreddin Hodja canon that

Turkish culture and humanism are transmitted from the

past to the present.

77

F. NASREDDIN HODJA F. NASREDDIN HODJA PUBLICATIONS: PUBLICATIONS:

A s in the age when the Nasreddin Hodja stories

were first written down, so his fame continues

today. The source documents of that time throw

light on Nasreddin Hodja’s life. The first printed edition

called Letâif (Humour) was published in Istanbul in

1837. Later, under the name of “The Amusing Stories of

Nasreddin Hodja Efendi” (Letâif-i Nasreddin Hodja) three

edtions were printed in Egypt, in 1838, 1840 and 1841, by

the Bulak Printing Press. From 1850 onwards, lithography

was used to print the Nasreddin Hodja books. Mustafa

Duman, who did profitable research on the subject of

Nasreddin Hodja, verified 46 lithographed Nasreddin

Hodja books and gave detailed information about them.

The first illustrated edition of Nasreddin Hodja was

printed in 1864 in Istanbul. The first complete editions of

the early period to attract attention were Mehmet Tevfik’s

Letâif-i Nasreddin Hodja (1883) and the manuscript/

printed Letâif-i Nasreddin Hodja collected by Bahaî (Veled

Çelebi) which contains 380 anecdotes. At the beginning

of the 20th century (1918), Fuat Köprülü published a

book bearing the title “Nasreddin Hodja.” İbrahim Hakkı

Konyalı’s “Nasreddin Hodja’s City: Akşehir” printed in

1945 is important as it is concerned with establishing

Nasreddin Hodja as a historical person. In the last century

the name of Pertev Naili Boratav comes at the head of

those conducting scientific research on Nasreddin Hodja.

Boratav’s work called “Nasreddin Hodja” contains 594

stories taken from articles and from the 4th edition of the

work Bahaî written in the old script which preserves the

original dialect.39 In recent years, important work by the

latest researchers on Nasreddin Hodja, İlhan Başgöz, Saim

39 Boratav, 1996, Op.cit.

78

Sakaoğlu ve A. Berat Alptekin, Dursun Yıldırım, Sabri

Koz40 and Mustafa Duman, has been published.

At the head of sources in Turkey where basic data on

Nasreddin Hodja and his stories can be found is the

National Library where around 1,000 (presently 943 but

the number may have changed) works can be found.41

These include the texts of several conferences. The rest

are books printed at various times by different publishing

houses. These facts show the Turkish publishing sector is

an important source of information on Nasreddin Hodja

and his stories. The sources may be categorized as follows:

a. Selections from the Nasreddin Hodja Canon:

Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları, Nasreddin Hoca’nın Fıkraları/

Lâtifeleri, Letâif-i Nasreddin (Burhaniye Tercümesi),

Letâifat-ı Nasreddin Hoca, Büyük Nasreddin Hoca

Lâtifeleri, Nasreddin Hoca Lâtifeleri Külliyatı,

“Nasreddin Hoca’dan Fıkralar”, “Nasreddin Hoca’dan

Güldüren Fıkralar,” “Hikâyat-ı Nasreddin Hoca’dan

Seçmeler”, “Nasreddin Hoca’dan Seçme Fıkralar”,

“Nasreddin Hoca’dan Seçilmiş Fıkralar”, “Nasreddin

Hoca Fıkralarından Seçmeler”, “En Güzel Nasreddin

Hoca Fıkraları,” “Sevimli Adam Nasreddin Hoca’dan

Fıkralar”, “Sevdiklerinizle Paylaşabileceğiniz En Güzel

Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları”, “Meşhur Nasreddin Hoca

Merhumdan Seçilmiş Hikâyeler”, “Nasreddin Hoca’nın

Güzel, Küçük Fıkraları”, “Kendi Dilinde Nasreddin

Hoca Fıkraları”, “Nasreddin Hoca Bir Gün”, “Nasreddin

Hoca’dan Düşündürücü Öyküler”, “Nasreddin Hoca’dan

Seçme Öyküler”, “Nasreddin Hoca’dan Tatlı Bir Gülüş”,

“Nasreddin Hoca Diyor ki,” “Eğlendiren, Düşündüren,

Eğiten Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları,” “Nasreddin Hoca’dan

Hikâyeler ve Öğütler”, “Bir Gün Nasreddin Hoca”,

40 Koz, M. Sabri, 1996, Nasreddin Hoca’ya Armağan, Oğlak Pub., Istanbul;

Koz, M. Sabri (Ed.), 2005, Nasreddin Hoca Kitabı, Kitabevi Pub., Istan-

bul.41 http://mksun.mkutup.gov.tr

79

“Nasreddin Hocalardan Biri”, “Nasreddin Hoca’nın Nükte

Menşurundan Işıklar”, “Nasreddin Hoca Antolojisi”,

“Nasreddin Hoca’dan Tatlı Bir Söz” etc.

b. Publications Containing One Nasreddin Hodja

Story: Ya Tutarsa, Parayı Veren Düdüğü Çalar, Eşeğe mi

İnanırsın Bana mı?, Ye Kürküm Ye, İpe Un Serdim, Hırsızın

Hiç mi Suçu Yok?, Suyunun Suyu, Uçan Eşek, Düşünen

Hindi, Doğuran Kazan, Ben Böyle Atarım, Damdan

Düşen Halden Anlar, Fincancı Katırlarını Ürkütmezsen,

Ziyafet, Yalan Olduktan Sonra, Yorgan Gitti Kavga Bitti,

Eni Boyuna Uymadı, Yerlisine Sor, Doksan Dokuz Olsun,

Devenin Başı, Bindiği Dalı Kesmiş, Et Nerede?, Sen de

Haklısın, Zaten İnecektim, Allah’ın Evi, Kuyuya Düşen Ay,

Bahara Söz Yok, İnanmazsan Say, Ben Sağken, Kandil ve

Kazan, Kazın Ayağı, Kul Borcu, Dünyanın Dengesi, Kitap

Okuyan Eşek, Gökte Kaç Yıldız Var?, Nasreddin Hoca

Demiş ki: Her Söylenene Uyma, Nasreddin Hoca’nın Kar

Helvası, Nasreddin Hoca ve Doğuran Kazan/Serdar etc.

c. Anthologies Containing Nasreddin Hodja: Tarihin

Işığında Nasreddin Hoca ve Ahi Evren, Nasreddin Hoca

ile Keloğlan, Karagöz ve Nasreddin Hoca, Mizahın Üç

Ustası (Nasreddin, İncili Çavuş, Bekri Mustafa), En Güzel

Nasreddin Hoca- Bektaşi Fıkraları etc.

d. Illustrated Books about Nasreddin Hodja: Resimli

ve Seçilmiş Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları, Resimli Tam

Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları, Resimlerle Nasreddin Hoca,

Resimlerle Büyük Nasreddin Hodja, Çizgileriyle Cafe

Zolu’dan Nasreddin Hoca Şov etc.

e. Cartoon Books and Cartoon-strips of Nasreddin

Hodja: Children’s books such as “Nasreddin Hodja” (Mim

Mustafa Uykusuz; 1959; cartoon books) and the Nasreddin

Hodja Cartoon Strip (Drawn by: Surûri-Gümen-, text in

verse: Rakım Çalapala; 1944-1947; pp 79-242: among the

best, the reprint of 1964) were the first published. Later,

magazines such as Yavrutürk, Doğan Kardeş, Kumbara,

Tercüman Çocuk, Başak Çocuk, Can Kardeş, Miki,

Keloğlan, and Bonanza published cartoon strips about

80

Nasreddin Hodja. Among foreign countries, France was

the first country to publish a Nasreddin Hodja story when

in 1955 the children’s magazine Vaillant published one, and

this was followed in 1962 by a joint publication with Pierre

Leguen of the book Les Adventure des Nasreddin Hodjae,

“Les Génie aux Six Tétes”.42 (Duman, M.; Nasreddin Hodja

Çizgi Romanları ve Çizgi-Bant Hikayeleri: Açıklamalı

Seçme Bibliyografya, Oğlak Pub., İst. 2005; Duman 2008:

135-138). These publications were mainly in the form

of cartoon books and may be considered as proof of the

enduring tradition of Turkish humour.

f. Collections of Cartoon Books based on Nasreddin

Hodja: International Festival of Nasreddin Hodja

Caricatures etc.

g. Publications about Nasreddin Hodjas Characteristics

and Activities: Nasreddin Hoca’nın Kurnazlıkları/

Öğütleri/ Marifetleri/ Gezileri/ Telaşı, Nasreddin Hoca

Akşehir Kadılığı/ Saz Çalıyor/ Alışverişte/ Mahkemede/

At Yarışlarında/ Dünyayı Dolaşıyor/ Aya Gidiyor/ Spor

Yapıyor/ Istanbul’da/ Düğünde/ Kırk Yaşında/ Eğlence

Köyü, Nasreddin Hoca’nın Çocukluğu/ Kadılığı/ Hastalığı/

Gençliği/ Yolculuğu/ İşleri Heybesi, Nasreddin Hoca ile

Dostları/Karısı/ Hırsızlar/ Komşuları/ Çocuklar/ Eşeği/

Timurlenk, Küçük Nasreddin Hoca, Nasraddin, Dünyayı

Güldüren Adam/Türk Nasreddin Hoca, Bizim Nasreddin

Hoca, Şu Bizim Nasreddin Hocamız, Barışa Maya, Bir

Küçük Nasreddin Hoca Varmış, Nasreddin Hocalardan

Biri, Neşe Kaynağı Bilge İnsan Nasreddin Hoca’dan Gülen

Düşünceler etc.

h. Nasreddin Hodja Stories in Verse: Şiir Diliyle

Nasreddin Hoca, Manzum Nasreddin Hoca Hikâyeleri,

42 Duman, Mustafa, 2005, Nasreddin Hoca Çizgi Romanları ve Çizgi-Bant

Hikayeleri: Açıklamalı Seçme Bibliyografya, Oğlak Pub., Istanbul; Du-

man 2008: pp 135-138.

81

Şiirle Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları, Şiirimsi Nasreddin Hoca

Öyküleri, Manzum Nasreddin Hoca Fıkra ve Hikâyeleri,

Nasreddin Hoca Şiirleri, Nasreddin Hoca’dan Şakalarla

Şiirler vb.

i. Foreign Language Publications of Nasreddin Hodja

Stories: Unser Hodscha Nasreddin, der die Türkei und

die Welt zum lachen bringt. Nasreddin Hodscha, Witze

und Humor aus der Türkei, The Turk who makes the

world laugh, Nasreddin Hodja, Jokes from Nasreddin

Hodja, One Day The Hodja, Nasreddin Hodja Stories, I

don’t accept 99 coins, İngilizce Öğrenenler İçin Nasreddin

Hodja Hikâyeleri etc.

j. Academic Works Published on Nasreddin Hodja: 1.

Milletlerarası Nasreddin Hoca Sempozyumu-Bildirileri,

Bütün Yönleriyle Nasreddin Hoca, Nasreddin Hoca ve Her

Açıdan Akşehir, Nasreddin Hoca Sineması, Nasreddin Hoca

Latifelerinin Şerhi, Anadolu ve Dünya Bilgesi Nasreddin

Hoca ve Fıkraları, Nasreddin Hoca “Rahmetullahi aleyh”

ve Latifeleri, Terceme-i Nasreddin Hoca Efendi, Nasreddin

Hoca’da Gülerken Düşünmek etc.

k. Nasreddin Hodja and Akşehir, Introductory

Publications: Nasreddin Hoca ve Turizm Derneği,

Nasreddin Hoca Şenlikleri, Geçmişten Günümüze

Nasreddin Hoca, Ölümsüz Bilge, Nasreddin Hoca ve

Turizm Derneği Dergisi etc.

Works published in Turkey and abroad (New York,

Stockholm, London, Moscow, Sarajevo etc.) have their

roots in oral culture. Writers and poets evaluate the

Nasreddin Hodja stories within their own creative

framework. Works intended for children, in particular,

consisting of a few stories only are seen to contain

illustrations. It has become traditional for this kind of

book to have as its cover picture either Nasreddin Hodja

by himself or sitting backwards on a donkey, together

with epithets such as: loveable, complete, choice, the best,

with photographs, illustrated, new, the best choice, with a

82

smile, our own, laughter-provoking, educational, thought-

provoking or a source of fun. The picture published and

the stories included may vary according to the targeted

audience. Some publications of the stories are in rhyme or

come from poems about Nasreddin Hodja.

Various newspapers have published either articles or special

editions on Nasreddin Hodja. Among these are: “Akbaba,

Başarı Yolu (1963), Türk Folklor Araştırmaları (1965),

Cumhuriyet Kitap (1966), Çocuk Yuvası (1974), Milliyet

Sanat (1974), Türk Edebiyatı (1995), Varlık (1996), Tarih ve

Toplum (1996), Toplumbilim (1997), Türk Yurdu (1997),

Çınar (1999), Eski Yeni (June 2010)” (Duman 1996: 187-199).

It is possible to say that the academic works about

Nasreddin Hodja form a bibliographical source. Together

with this, a separate bibliography about Nasreddin Hodja

has been published. (Bozyiğit 1987, Duman 2005).43

Nasreddin Hodja and his wit will continue to feed future

writers and publishers, as do actors in other fields.

43 Bozyiğit, A. Esat, 1987, Nasreddin Hoca Bibliyografyası Üzerine Bir De-

neme, Ankara; Duman, Mustafa, 2005, Nasreddin Hoca Kitapları Açık-

lamalı Bibliyografyası (1408- 2004), Turkuaz Pub., Istanbul.

83

G.THE TRADITIONAL G.THE TRADITIONAL HUMOUR OF HUMOUR OF NASREDDIN HODJA:NASREDDIN HODJA:

T oday as in the past, Nasreddin Hodja and his

stories continue to nurture the minds of people in

many different ways. His traditional humour has

become the basis for and source of much creative activity.

His school of philosophy has influenced his descendents

in the fields of theatre, cinema, radio and television,

in caricature, comic magazines, literature, the press,

politics economics, and many other fields. His traditional

humour engenders further traditions of humour, and is

the lifeblood and common usage of his followers in many

different areas of life. It is not possible to consider all of

these within the scope of this book and so we will try to

summarize only a few of them:

a. Humour in the Press and Literature:

The oral-based tradition of Turkish humour is and will

continue to be evaluated by the media, particularly the

written media. Regular publications in this media have

wisely chosen to exploit the flow of oral culture to create

and expand their own reading public. This fund of stories

is used not only as a source for humorous publications

but also for political/satirical writings. As a result, column

writers use the style of Nasreddin Hodja in their articles on

even the most serious public concerns. (see e.g. Tanzimat

press). Beginning in particular from the oral tradition as

given in Letaif-i Asar and Diyojen and going on through

Latife, Hayal, Kahkaha, Meddah, Çaylak, Ortaoyunu,

Mizahî Nasreddin Hoca (a humorous magazine published

weekly for five issues in Egypt in 1920), Curcuna, Akbaba,

İncili Çavuş, Cem, Karikatür, Yeni Nasreddin Hoca (1936),

Markopaşa and Zübük to the magazines Gırgır, Leman, and

Penguen of recent times which put emphasis on cultural

life, all of these have revitalized the use of humorous

84

characters, especially Nasreddin Hodja and his exploits.44

Therefore, by giving voice to universal questions in many

areas, the Nasreddin Hodja canon has surpassed itself, not

only in becoming a nurturing source for Turkish humour

but also as a way of dealing with universal problems.

Thus, through this connection with the writtten word,

the traditional oral culture, characters, types, motifs and

products now openly declare the economic value of being

recreated in a different form. Nasreddin Hodja and his

stories can be found published in the humorous magazines

of the present day. One of the themes/stories most often

found -to steal yeast for the lake/to cut the bough you’re

sitting on/ to get on the donkey backwards-are to be seen

in Oburiks (Obelix), that other-ego of Nasreddin Hodja,

the philosopher Heraclitus and Father Christmas. A joint

article by Berna Olgunsoy and Ceren Temiz states that

Nasreddin Hodja is accepted by today’s humorists as their

philosopher and guide; today’s humorists try to follow

the path he has trodden for them, using his anecdotes

as a spring board for their own inventions; Nasreddin

Hodja’s tall hat, his prayer-beads, his donkey, and his

way of dressing are all brought vividly to life unchanged

in today’s humorous publications; emphasis is put on his

having been transformed into a hero who upholds Turkish

humour against that of the West.45 Turkish and world

humorists, writers or caricaturists, in the special editions,

competitions, festivals and entertainments organized in

the name of Nasreddin Hodja, and those who assume

his way of dress, agree that, as he is the doyen of their

profession, he must be kept alive, and therefore continue

44 Özdemir, Nebi, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 55-56.; Çetinkaya, Gülnaz, 2006, Gırgır

Dergisinin Türk Halkbilimi Açısından İncelenmesi, Hacettepe Univer-

sity, Social Studies Institute, Higher Degree Th esis etc.45 Olgunsoy, Berna and Ceren Temiz, 2009, “Nasreddin Hoca’nın Günü-

müz Mizah Dergilerindeki Yeri Nedir?” 21. Yüzyılı Nasreddin Hoca ile

Anlamak, Atatürk Kültür Merkezi Pub., Ankara: pp 561-569.

85

to enrich his image in their stories and jokes. In fact, it

is Nasreddin Hodja that nurtures, shapes and gives life to

them. When such writers and artists run out of ideas, just

like others, they turn to Nasreddin Hodja for inspiration.

In brief, Turkish humorist are all student of the Nasreddin

Hodja school of philosophy and humour and continue

to feed on him in their interpretations of seeing life

backwards. Domestic and international publications,

collections or events based on the Nasreddin Hodja

theme, the fact that the name of one Azerbaijan magazine

is “Nasreddin Hodja”, and that in the Turkish and world

press much use is made of Nasreddin Hodja- all of these

show that Nasreddin Hodja has become a staple hero for

humorists and caricaturists throughout the world.

b. Theatre:

The wit of Nasreddin Hodja provided material for the

theatre as well as other forms of art.46 Many Nasreddin

Hodja plays are staged in theatres in Turkey and around

the world. It is possible to find Nassreddin Hodja stories

used in children’s theatre. In Turkey, in particular, the

Nasreddin Hodja stories, with the satirical view of life

they present. had a great influence on the development

of comedy. According to Metin And, a play entitled

Nasreddin Hoca’nın Mansıbı was written in Poland by an

author called Lippa at the end of the 18th, beginning of

19th century. The play weaves a Nasreddin Hodja story

about an event which took place in Konya. This first play to

leave its homeland may explain the international influence

of Nasreddin Hodja, at the same time as showing that

written works were a late development in the traditional

theatre of the Ottoman Empire.

According to the records, the first appearance on the

stage of the Nasreddin Hodja stories was as a revue

46 For data and sources connected with this see. Duman, Mustafa, 2008 pp

139-146.

86

called “The Nasreddin Hodja Revue” which took place

at the Odeon Theatre in Beyoglu, Istanbul in 1910. The

signatures of Burhaneddin Tepsi and Reşad Rıdvan are

to be found on this show. The next year (1911), another

play in two acts called “Nasreddin Hodja” was put on

at the Sahne-i Milliye-i Osmaniye in Istanbul. In the

same year an operetta called Nasreddin Hoca’nın Telaşı

(The Worries of Nasreddin Hodja) was put on by the

Benliyan Group in Istanbul. In Istanbul in 1914 a three-

act play called “Nasreddin Hodja” was staged by the

International Ottoman Opera Company (Milli Osmanlı

Operet Kumpanyası). In the same year, one of the famous

actors of the time, the comedian Naşit (Özcan) appeared

in front of an Istanbul audience in a four-act play called

Nasreddin Hoca ile Karagöz Paris’te (Nasreddin and

Karagöz in Paris). It is interesting to note that here two

heroes of different Turkish traditional oral cultures appear

in a different genre on stage together. Similar plays were

put on after the founding of the Turkish Republic. One

of these was the play ‘Nasreddin Hodja’ written by Naşit

and performed on stage in 1925. It may be said that in this

play, in which the traditions of oral theatre were joined

with those of the western type of theatre, the acting of

Naşit, who played the title role, increased the effect of the

play. The play Nasreddin Hoca’nın Dehası (The Genius

of Nasreddin Hodja) written by Baha Tevfil and Ahmet

Nebil was performed at the Izmir Thetre in 1914. The

Istanbul City Theatre, one of the pillars of traditional

Turkish theatre, also staged plays based on Nasreddin

Hodja stories. Among the first of these in 1926-1927 was

the play called Hoca’nın Eşeği (The Hodja’s Donkey) put

on by Sadreddin Celal.

In later years in Istanbul, Ankara and İzmir as well as in

other cities in Turkey, plays about Nasreddin Hodja were

staged and attracted an interested audience. For example

in 1947 a play by Mümtaz Uygun attracted an audience

at the Izmir City Theatre. In 1962 came the premiere by

87

the Ankara State Opera and Ballet Company of a four-

act comic opera about Nasreddin Hodja. The same opera

was performed again in the 1980-1981, 1988-1989 and

1989-1990 opera seasons. In the 1982-1983 season, the

group called Bizim Tiyatro put on Zafer Diper’s chidren’s

musical Nasreddin Hoca ve Eşeği (Nasreddin Hodja and

his Donkey) at the Üsküdar Sunar Theatre. This play

continued to be staged to interested audiences up until

1994. The author of the children’s play called Aksak Timur

ile Nasreddin Hoca (Tamburlaine the Lame and Nasreddin

Hodja) put on by the Anatolian Chidren’s Play Group in

Istanbul in 1989 was Ümit Denizer. A similar children’s

play, He-Man ile Nasreddin Hoca (He-man and Nasreddin

Hodja), was put on by the Taner Barlas Children’s Theatre

Group in Istanbul in 1989. The writer and director Özcan

Alpar undertook to make Nasreddin Hodja the hero of

an animated film, now a popular form of culture, and this

shows once more that Nasreddin Hodja is “a man for all

seasons.”

Nasreddin Hodja and his humour are considered as being

within the tradition of puppet theatre. Within recent years

Işıl Kasapoğlu had done valuable work on this. In the play

called “Nasreddin Hodja” she directed at the Theatre á

Venir in Paris in 1985, Kasapoğlu brought actors on stage

together with puppets. In 1977 Işıl Kasapoğlu returned

to Turkey and continued to stage Nasreddin Hodja plays

(“Nasreddin Hodja”, “Nasreddin Puppet Plays”, “Nasreddin

Hodja, Environmentalist”), first at the Greater Izmit

Municipality Theatre and the later with the newly founded

Semaver Company and also abroad (U.S.A., Bulgaria

etc.) Kasapoğlu and her friends participated in the 1999

Istanbul Puppet Festival, and in 2003 in the New York

Mayfest, the Sofia Puppet Festival and the 2nd Istanbul

Children’s Theatre, with plays about Nasreddin Hodja.

Recently Serpil Akıllıoğlu’s successful play Küçük Nasrettin

Hoca (Little Nasreddin Hodja) has been acted at different

88

times in different places. This play was performed in

the period between 1988 and 1990 at the Istanbul State

Theatre, in 1997 at the Muhsin Ertuğrul Theatre and at

the Üsküdar Musahipzade Celâl Theatre. In 2001 it was

performed at the Levent Kırca-Oya Başar Theatre and in

2005 at the Haldun Taner Theatre.

If one considers the play by the Polish writer Lippi, this

shows that performances of Nasreddin Hodja plays

abroad go back two centuries. Recent independent

research into this subject may be briefly covered thus:

“Bizim Nasreddin Hoca (Our Nasreddin Hodja, 1980;

author: İlhami Engin; Skopje Poeple’s Theatre), Nasreddin

Hodja (Author: Muhammet Kurbanov; after 1940; Kumuk

Music and Dance Theatre; Kazan), Nasreddin Hodja (A

three-act comedy by Naki İsenbet; 1940- Tatar Academy

Theatre, Kazan), Genç Nasreddin Hoca’nın Sergüzeştleri

(The Adventures of Young Nasreddin Hodja) author:

Yusuf Azimzade; Özbekistan Young Audience Theatre),

Nasreddin Hoca Efendi ve Ezrayıl (Nasreddin Hodja

and Azrail), author: S. Aliyev; Taşkent Republic Satirical

Theatre; in the 1980s in Özbekistan), Ya Efendi ya Şah

(Hey Efendi, Hey Shah) (Author: Yusuf Azimzade, 1980s;

Taşkent Republic Satirical Theatre are some of the plays

which have been acted in the Turkic World. In the same

way as in Turkey, plays about Nasreddin Hodja are also

performed in European countries where there is a sizeable

Turkish population. The first of these performances

took place in 1991 in Cologne, Germany at the Arkadaş

(Friends) Theatre and was a musical/dance show half in

German written by Ali Meriç and called Nasreddin Hoca

ve Eşeği/Nasreddin Hodscha later performed by the Theatre

Company in the capital, Berlin.

Nasreddin veya Yetkinsiz Bir İntikam/Doğudan Bir

Komedi/Nasreddin or the Revenge of Imperfection: a

Comedy from the East written in 1927 by the Czech

author Jiri Mahen was staged in the years following WW

II. Merhum Nasreddin Hoca (Nasreddin Hodja, Deceased)

89

a play in rhyme by the Czech writer Josef Kainar, put on

the stage for the first time in Prague in 1959 at the ABC

Theatre; Nasreddin Hoca’nın Maceraları (The Adventures

of Nasreddin Hodja- a play by Solovyon in which Ferenc

Znethe took part), Nasreddin Hoca Süiti (The Nasreddin

Hodja Suite- a piece composed by György Ránk; Hungary),

and Nasreddin Hoca Bir Gün (One Day Nasreddin

Hodja) written by Andrew Lines, performed In 2004 at

the Mercury, Chicago, U.S.A. are examples of Nasreddin

Hodja plays performed in different countries of the world.

c. Cinema and Animation:

The Nasreddin Hodja canon is considered to be an

important source for Turkish films.47 Muhsin Ertuğrul,

the acknowledged founder of Turkish theatre and cinema,

brought Nasreddin Hodja to stage and screen. The film

Nasreddin Hoca Düğünde (Nasreddin Hodja at the

Wedding) produced by Ipek Film in 1940 is one of the first

examples. The scenario was written by Burhan Felek, the

well-known journalist, and Necdet Mahfi Ayral, a theatre

director, but filming was delayed on account of the illness

of Hazım Körmükçü who was to play the leading role.

The film was only completed in 1943 with Ferdi Tayfur.

This film started a tradition of Nasreddin Hodja films

in the Turkish film industry in which many other films

were made. The film called Nasreddin Hoca ve Timurlenk

(Nasreddin Hodja and Tamburlaine), the scenario for

which was written by Zeki Alpan, directed by Faruk Genç

with İsmail Dümbüllü in the leading role, was made by

Istanbul Film in 1954. In the same year, the main actor

and the director of the Nasreddin Hodja film produced by

Halk Film was Talat Artemel. In 1965, the film “Nasreddin

Hodja” directed by Yavuz Yalınkılıç was presented to

the audience. In 1971 the film called “Nasreddin Hodja”

47 For these facts and related sources see. Duman, Mustafa, 2008, Op.cit.:

pp 146- 148.

90

produced by Topkapı Film had a scenario written by

Erdoğan Tokatlı. The film was directed by Melih Gülgen

and the role of Nasreddin Hodja was played by İsmail

Dümbüllü.48

It is considered proof of the relationship between the

traditions of Turkish theatre and cinema that the title role

in these films was given to İsmail Dümbüllü, one of the

last experts in the oral tradition of Turkish culture in the

city. This is important from the point of view that Turkish

cinema has its roots in oral culture. The truth is that this

explanation clearly shows the continuation of traditional

Turkish humour. Dümbüllü, combining traditional

Turkish humour with his own personality, successfully

brought to the screen the type of Nasrddin Hodja seen in

the stories. As well as his interest in films actually about

Nasreddin Hodja, İsmail Dümbüllü produced a series

of films “Dümbüllü Sporcu, Dümbüllü Macera Peşinde,

Dümbüllü Tarzan” (“Dümbüllü the Sportsman, Dümbüllü

in Search of Adventure, Dümbüllü Tarzan”) using his own

name to create a contemporary Nasreddin Hodja type of

character. As a result, the tradition started by Dümbüllü

can be seen in the type ‘Turist Ömer’ created by Celalibo

and continued by Feridun Karakaya and Sadri Alışık.

Münir Özkul, Erol Günaydın and Nevzat Açıkgöz are also

Nasreddin Hodjas of show and cinema.49 Independent

films with the name of Nasreddin Hodja may be found

in recent cinema productions and also many films

containing contemporary Nasreddin Hodjas; these may all

be considered the film inheritors of the Nasreddin Hodja

tradition. The characters brought to life by Metin Akpınar,

Zeki Alasya, Kemal Sunal, Levent Kırca, Şener Şen,

Kadir Çöpdemir, or Şahan Gökbakar are contemporary

Nasreddin Hodja types seen from many different angles.

48 Özdemir, Nebi, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 201-206.49 Özdemir, Nebi, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 201-206.

91

Interesting recent films of the late 1990s are Daver Atasoy’s

Hocayla Üç Dakika (Three Minutes with th Hodja) (30

dk.) and Anadolu’yu Aydınlatanlar: Nasreddin Hoca (The

Enlightenment of Anatolia: Nasreddin Hodja) (20 dk.)

Nasreddin Hodja and his humorous wit are also subjects

for various films in other countries. The film Kurnaz Peter

ve Nasreddin Hoca (Cunning Peter and Nasreddin Hodja)

screened in Bulgaria in the late 1990s and directed by A.

Vazov is one of these. The films Nasreddin Hoca ve Beş

Karısı (Nasreddin Hodja and Five Wives), Nasreddin Hoca

Buhara’da (Nasreddin In Bokhara), Nasreddin Hoca’nın

Sergüzeştleri (Nasreddin’s Adventures) and Nasreddin

Hoca’nın Oniki Kabri (Nasreddin’s Twelve Tombs) were

produced In Uzbekistan previous to 1971, and in 1989 the

film called The Return of Nasreddin Hodja was made.50

In the popular field of animation/cartoon film, in spite

of much discussion over the last fifty years, no projects

concerning Nasreddin Hodja were realised. In fact, in 1950

a project for a cartoon film about Nasreddin Hodja was

presented but never implemented. There was insufficient

input from the public or private sector from people in

film production, academic circles or the animation sector

and a lack of technological infrastructure. Like other

memorials of independent culture, the Nasreddin Hodja

canon was prevented from being interpreted through

the field of contemporary animation in the silver screen

industry. Put another way, taking advantage of this record

of Turkish culture was not seen as a way to create and

develop as well as to solve problems in the cartoon film

sector, that is to say, in the Turkish film industry in general.

Long and short Nasreddin Hodja cartoon film projects

were the first steps to be taken on this subject. The travels

of Evliya Çelebi, the plays of Karagöz, and the stories of

Keloğlan are a fruitful source from this point of view. A

50 For these facts and related sources see, Duman Mustafa, 2008,

Op.cit.:pp 146-148.

92

consideration of these should be brought to the attention

of the electronic games sector. These, high in the value-

added content of originality, could be utilized as cultural

economic productions within the framework of this sector.

Thus the grandchildren of these traditional heroes would

continue to nurture their image in a different cultural and

economic relationship.

Surfing the internet in May, 2008, one could find seven

Keloğlan cartoon films as well as four about Nasreddin

Hodja sharing space in virtual reality. A well-known

shared site brought to life the stories of Nasreddin Hodja

in musicals and cartoon films dubbed in Turkish. In other

words, the basic stories of Nasreddin Hodja were being

revived in the virtual world. “The Moon Fell into the Well.”

“The Inexperienced Nightingale,” “To Steal Yeast for the

Lake,” “The Tall Hat,” “Where is the Centre of the World?,”

“What’s it to You?”, “Is There Anyone Who Doesn’t love

Spring?”, “Now you’re Acting Like a Bird,” “He Who Pays

Calls the Tune”, “I’ve lost my Sleep and I’m Looking for

It” and “You Can Believe My Donkey, but not Me?” are

some of the stories in this series of cartoon films. Again

in surfing it is a pleasure to find a 40- minute Nasreddin

Hodja cartoon film. So one should stress that the original

humour of Nasreddin Hodja is a treasure trove for the

Turkish and foreign film directors who wish to make

animated films.

d. Radio, Television and Internet:

The media has speeded up the transformation of oral

cultural records into different forms. Oral culture is

of prime importance as a source for the audial as well

as the written sector of the media. Starting with the

phonograph and developing through discs, followed by

instruments such as the gramophone, records, and the

radio, the separation of ownership of the written and the

spoken word in electronic recording led to an interactive

relationship between the instruments of execution/

consumption/distribution. For a short time, in the 1920s

93

in particular, when radio and broadcasting came to Turkey,

oral culture was kept alive primarily through the ordinary

people. On the other hand, the influence of the actors of

this descriptive and demonstrative oral culture gradually

began to recede.

As radio broadcasting increased, intelligent use was made

of traditional Turkish music and literature. Nasreddin

Hodja and his stories became one of the first sources to be

extensively used by broadcasters in this and later periods.

Radio plays, sketches, talks, chidren’s hour and other

kinds of radio programmes used the Nasreddin Hodja

stories as major and auxiliary themes and continued

interpreting these in this way. All-day radio developed

this kind of implementation in various ways. For example,

in 1940, a talk programme called Dereden Tepeden Saati

(A Random Hour) was based on Turkish humour and, in

particular, the Nasreddin Hodja stories. The master

of Turkish caricature, Cemal Nadir Güler,

made good use of the Nasreddin Hodja

Stories which he used as a base or point

of reference in his series of radio sketches

called Şu Patavatsızın Yaptığına Bak (Look

What this Chatterbox has Done). Again,

first in radio and then in television,

Özay Gönlüm found a seat in the

hearts of the audience through a

synthesis of types such as Dede

Korkut and Nasreddin Hodja.

At the beginning of the 1990s

with the emergence of hours-

long programmes on private

radio channels, the midwives/

masters of contemporary radio talks

were the inheritors of the Nasreddin Hodja

tradition.

İTÜ TV which began broadcasting in

1952, and which in 1968 introduced

94

Turkey to television broadcasting with trial programmes

of various kinds (sitcoms, documentaries, advertisements

etc.), used and continues to make use of Turkish oral

culture and therefore of the Nasreddin Hodja stories. In

particular, TRT gives space to Nasreddin Hodja and his

stories in children’s programmes as well as in educational,

musical, entertainment and cultural programmes etc. In

the 1990s there was an increase in the various adaptations

of this by television broadcasters in the private sector. The

advertisement sector, in particular, in its implementation

of the Nasreddin Hodja image and cultural heritage for

economic reasons is a good example. In the month of

Ramadan more advertising space is given to Karagöz and

Hacivat as well as to Nasreddin Hodja. It is also possible

to meet characters based on Nasreddin Hodja in soap

operas. A recent example is the character of Sütçü Ramiz

played by Erdal Özyağcılar in the TV soap opera Elveda

Rumeli (Goodbye, Rumelia).

It is useful here to emphasize the dynamic speed seen in

this period in which the media culture has transformed

oral culture, and, therefore, the Nasreddin Hodja heritage,

into an economic value. It is the aim of this research to

explain, exemplify and interpret this period of growth.

The Internet is a network which unites previous methods

and instruments in the virtual world. Therefore the

dominant features, oral, written and visual, of this period

are united under one roof in virtual reality. Just as every

period and vehicle rises to the peak on a base previously

prepared for it, so does the interlinked internet and visual/

digital culture. The strength of the virtual reality network

and of the internet arise from being nurtured by many kinds

of vehicle, relationship, product and tradition. Therefore

the seminal oral/traditional culture, written culture, and

later the block culture composed of cinema, radio and

television, contain an obvious cultural and characteristic

95

heritage.51 In other words, the relationship between virtual

reality and these many constructs, including, of course,

Nasreddin Hodja, will be given special consideration in

the resolution of this investigation.

As emphasized in the previous paragraph, an exploration

of Nasreddin Hodja’s part in the world of virtual reality is,

from one point of view, an examination of the relationship

between Nasreddin Hodja and the first oral culture, going

on through written culture to a second oral culture. With

the internet, culture in every field, and, therefore, including

Nasreddin Hodja and his heritage, is transported to virtual

reality sites. Previous relationships between the oral culture

and the stories of Nasreddin Hodja are taken into sites in

the virtual world. Nasreddin Hodja and his heritage are

enriched through new creations and adaptations, however

slight, in this new world, and the place of Nasreddin Hodja

in the world of Turkish humour is similarly enriched.52

Interest in the image of Nasreddin Hodja in the virtual

world is being developed through cultural/economic

relationships in the virtual world. Different cultural

relationships, adaptations and products based on

Nasreddin Hodja are all brought together in the virtual

world and thus the effect of his image is increased.

Nasreddin Hodja books, jigsaws, ornaments, CDs, VCDs,

cartoon films, educational materials, and games are all

presented there to be shared or sold. In the same way,

products in different languages spread Nasreddin Hodja as

a global cultural representative through the medium of the

virtual network. In this case, interest in and exploration

of such multi-functional cultural knowledge and cultural

consumerism must be left aside.

51 Özdemir, Nebi, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 289-317.52 Özdemir, Nebi, 2007, “Sanal Mizah”, ICANAS 38, Ankara 10-15 Sep-

tember 2007; Özdemir, Nebi, 2008, Op.cit.: pp 310- 317.

96

Since April 2011, surfing the Google network has turned

up around six million references to the basis of Turkish

humour in the virtual world. Around a thousand of

these refer to Nasreddin Hodja; in contrast to this, using

“Nasreddin Hodja stories” as the key phrase reveals only

about 1,000 references. In other words, Nasreddin Hodja

attracts more interest than his stories in the virtual world.

As a result, this spread of references must be accepted as

proof of a constantly changing Nasreddin Hodja in the

virtual world. This can be evaluated in the following way:

1. Distinct Nasreddin Hodja Sites: The addresses and

names of people belonging to the public or private sector

in these sites are given in virtual reality, whereas the

name of Nasreddin Hodja is given openly. These sites

stress that they are opened and run in order to introduce

Nasreddin Hodja and his fund of stories.53 It is enough to

be introduced to one of these.

Contrary to expectations, there are several Nasreddin

Hodja sites in the internet world of virtual reality. The first

of these is the site of the Nasreddin Hodja and Tourism

Association, the address of which can be found at “www.

aksehir.bel.tr”. Apart from information and details of

transportation, it is mainly about Nasreddin Hodja and

Akşehir. In the information section descriptions of the

4th Nasreddin Hodja Festival and the 200th Anniversary

Competition (a short comedy film), the Nasreddin Hodja

Comic Story Competition, the international Strip-Cartoon

Competition, the International Akşehir and Nasreddin

Hodja Photograph Competition, a Poster Competition, and

the conditions and prizes are given. This site could be more

effective, the main contents of the opening pages being

one of the stories about Nasreddin Hodja and the seven

53 www.nasrettinhoca.org; www.nasrettinhocafi kralari.com; www.aksehir.

bel.tr

97

wonders of Konya, details of the events for the Nasreddin

Hodja 800th anniversary celebrations and the Akşehir and

Nasreddin Hodja Children’s Theatre Festival. It is fleshed

out with a few illustrations and some information about

Nasreddin Hodja as a historical person as well as the

text of nine anecdotes. The main pages are filled in the

same way with “Nasreddin Hodja Festivals” a description

of the associated organisations and events; Archives,

(unnamed historical documents, historical photographs,

introductory issues of the Nasreddin Hodja Association

magazine) the 48th Festival (the festival programme, with

two photographs) and the 49th Festival (no contents). The

800th aniversary includes extracts from the celebrations,

conferences in Germany, amateur dramatics and artistic

events as well as the joint TÜRKSOY project, “Nasreddin

Hodja and Humour”. It also introduces the International

Symposium on Projects for a Statue, the First International

Caricature Convention, the International Folklore

Convention, publications about Nasreddin Hodja,

an International Festival Poster Competition, the 7th

International Comic Strip Cartoon Competition, 27th

Nasreddin Hodja Comic Story Competition, 4th Short

Comedy Film Competition, 4th International Akşehir

Nasreddin Hodja Photograph Competition, Laugh with

Nasreddin Hodja (an information clip), Nasreddin Hodja’s

Birthday, Nasreddin Hodja’s Village/Film, the Nasreddin

Hodja Golden Donkey Comedy Award (the Oscar of

Comedy: the year’s best comedy film/soap opera/play/

writer/director/female actor/male actor/columnist/stand-

up artist etc.) the Akşehir “Nasreddin and Humorists”,

the subject for the Glass Mosaic Memorial Monument

Project, The Laughter Train (Haydarpaşa-Akşehir),

preparations for the Frankfurt Book Fair, Children’s

Education and Nasreddin Hodja, Urban Children, and

the Improvement of Historic Areas. The realization of

these projects will make the Nasreddin Hodja celebrations

more effective and could make Akşehir an active logo in

the Nasreddin Hodja memorials by associating it with the

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Nasreddin Hodja image (Akşehir-Nasreddin Hodja). Like

other Nasreddin Hodja sites, more development in both

content and events would help it reach expectations. It

would be beneficial for this site to become a centre for the

Nasreddin Hodja canon in virtual reality or, under Akşehir,

become an independent site devoted to this subject.

2. General Humour Site: Humour sites are often visited.

Within a short time, sites on Nasreddin Hodja are sure

to be found in all virtual reality sites on Turkish humour.

3. Publishers’ and Sales Sites: In the collections on the sales

site of some publishing houses and those which only sell

books in the world of virtual reality world, there are many

references to Nasreddin Hodja. Marketed as a product of

written culture, the Nasreddin Hodja stories can be found

in the virtual reality world by those interested. Sites selling

virtual reality books can be said to have spread the image

of Nasreddin and his stories. Some sites in this group also

sell Nasreddin Hodja products which have a cultural and

economic dimension (jigsaws, games, illustrated books,

educational materials, sets of readers CDs, VCDs, DVDs

etc.)

4. Media Sites: The change in public life first brought

about by newspapers and magazines, has been continued

for the past century through the media of radio, cinema,

television and finally the internet, all of which now provide

a dynamic base for a variety of a socio-cultural changes.

The influence of newspapers and magazines and later

forms of communication continues its formative effects.

In addition, in the private sector, newspaper proprietors,

especially, have become owners of television channels,

thus turning the media into a monopoly. On the other

hand, newspapers have, within a short period of time,

begun to revolutionize the press through the virtual

reality of the internet. Newspaper archives have for at

least the past ten years been available on internet. This is

an important development in the area of social research.

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A surf of these archives reveals the use of much data

concerning Nasreddin Hodja and his fund of stories.

5. Educational Sites: Much of the shared data on these

sites shows that Nasreddin Hodja has become a staple

hero-figure in the Turkish educational system.

6. Forum Sites: When face to face dialogue became a

feature on the web, the stories of Nasreddin Hodja began

to be narrated there. Forums and talk shows are sites

which mainly share the stories of Nasreddin Hodja.

7. Literature Sites: Poetry, stories, tales and anecdotes are

to be found in literature sites on the web. One of the most

important components of these sites is the Nasreddin

Hodja stories.

8. General Knowledge: Names on the web such as encyclopedia, dictionary, biography, anthology, series,

library are sites which impart general knowledge. These

give space to the Nasreddin Hodja stories, if only briefly

and repetitively.

9. Theatre Sites: In general, this kind of site conveys

information about Nasreddin Hodja and his stories in the

form of news articles and announcements of shows.

10. Academic Sites: At home and abroad, it is possible to

find research papers on Nasreddin Hodja, news of events

and projects, announcements in the press and of seminars

connected with him and his stories. Sites such as “www.

sosyalbil.selcuk.edu.tr, www.princeton.edu, www.bilkent.

edu.tr” give reliable, documented information.

11. Official Publicity Sites: In Turkey, and under Konya

and Akşehir, many official internet sites have been set up

to publicize the image of Nasredddin in an effective way.

Sites such as www.kultur.gov.tr (Ministry of Culture and

Tourism), www.berlin.be.mfa.gov.tr. (Turkish Embassy

in Berlin), www.konya.gov.tr (Konya Governor’s Office),

www.aksehir.bel.tr (Akşehir Municipality) introduce

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Nasreddin Hodja and his stories in a detailed manner

under the titles of Culture and Art. A site belonging to

Akşehir Municipality is given up to Nasreddin Hodja,

even touching on information about the emblem. In fact

in the new city information site info is given under “The

Hodja’s New Grandsons.”

12. Film, Animation and Electronic Games Sites: With the

inception of the internet where visual culture is dominant,

graphics began to be better understood. More sites on

the web began to give greater space to visual humour as it

was a suitable vehicle for international viewers. Products

such as “Photographs, caricatures, slide shows, animation,

video, gags, films, short films and games” shared in

overcoming cultural barriers on a global scale. In this

process, Nasreddin Hodja was to be found among the

relevant visual products.

13. Other Sites: Facts about Nasreddin Hodja may be

accessed on sites concerned with travel, entertainment,

children. Human resources, women, men, associations

and charitable foundations.

In connection with virtual culture, it is possible to group

Nasreddin Hodja and data concerning him as follows:

1. Anecdotes: Sites dealing with humour come as one of

the top sites in the virtual world to be accessed and shared.

Anecdote, in particular, comes foremost. Whatever form it

takes, it is possible to find one or more anecdotes included

on almost every site. The treasure trove of Nasreddin

Hodja anecdotes is a basic product of these virtual reality

sites. High up in this system can be seen interpretations

of a great variety of Nasreddin Hodja stories which show

how much Nasreddin Hodja is appreciated in this virtual

world. Moreover, as well as sites concerned only with

Nasreddin Hodja, there are other humour and anecdote

sites which give space to him under the title “Nasreddin

Hodja” or “A Selection of Nasreddin Hodja Anecdotes.”

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The number of stories shared by these sites is about 250.

Stories from the given number of the Nasreddin Hodja

canon are usually presented as extracts or as a whole on

virtual reality sites. The Nasreddin Hodja anecdotes which

give scope for mutual and effective sharing are generally

contributed by visitors to the site. In the age of best-

sellers the Nasreddin Hodja stories have been adapted

to the mechanics of the virtual web. “Measured and Cut”

(Ölçmüş Biçmiş), “Eat the Root of My Poison”(Zıkkımın

Kökünü Yer), “Poisoned Baklava (Zehirli Baklava), I Was

Going to Get Down Anyway” (Zaten İnecektim), “Is it the

Hat’s Business?” (İş Kavukta mı?), “To Spread Flour on a

Rope” (İpe Un Sermek), “Mine, I Hope” (İnşallah Benim),

“If you Don‘t Believe Me, Measure It” (İnanmazsanız

Ölçün), “Stars are Made” (Yıldız Yaparlar), The New

Moon (Yeni Ay), “We’ll Get a New One” (Yenisini Alırız),

“The Enchantment of Food is the Sound of Money”

(Yemeğin Buğusuna Akçenin Sesi) and “The Boast”(İddia),

are favourites in the virtual world, together with “The

Cauldron Which Gave Birth” (Doğuran Kazan) “Tall Hat”

(Kavuk), “I’ve Caught a Cold” (Nezleyim de), “Nasreddin

Hodja and the Fish” (Nasreddin Hoca ve Balık), “The

Gift of Tamburlaine” (Timurlenk’in Hediyesi), “The

Fortypenny Axe” (Kırk Akçelik Balta), “If You’ve a Mind,

Run to the Lake” (Aklın Varsa Göle Koş), “Backwards on

the Donkey” (Eşeğe Ters Binmek), “Where’s the Funeral?”

(Cenazenin Neresinden?), “Ring, What’s it to do with you”

(Yüzük, Sana Ne?), “Whose heart(h) is on Fire? (Kimin

İçi(n) Yanıyor?), “Five Fingers” (Beş Parmak), “Dirtier than

Us” (O Bizden Daha Kirli), “Ritual Prostration” (Secdeye

Varırsa), “He’ll Take You in Place of Me” (Benim Yerime

Seni de Götürür), “The Unwashed” (Abdestsiz).

In general the anecdotes, which conceal emotion through

brevity, are contained in memorable judicial or thematic

phrases or sentences (He Who Pays the Piper) in which

male is opposed to female. Although the stories do not

usually have titles, this custom is reversed in the virtual

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world. Titles may have begun to be used when the stories

were written down. In the virtual world the longer

sentences of written culture are usuually abbreviated. A

story sent to a forum/talk show does not usually have a

title, a practice which is seen to have been carried over to

and continued in the virtual world.

2. Cartoon Film, Animation and Electronic Games: The

Nasreddin Hodja Stories in both Turkey and the world

in general have not been used to their full capacity in

animation, a form to which they are eminently suited.

Surfing the net in May 2008 resulted in finding seven

Keloğlan cartoon films as against 4 of Nasreddin Hodja,

which shows the measure to which they are globally shared.

These cartoon films, dubbed in Turkish and set to music,

and available on a well-known shared site, are based on

anecdotes about Nasreddin Hodja’s daily life. “The Moon

Fell into a Well (Ay Kuyuya Düşmüş), The Inexperienced

Nightingale (Acemi Bülbül), To Steal Yeast for the Lake

(Göle Maya Çalmak), The Tall Hat (Kavuk), Where’s the

Centre of the World? (Dünyanın Ortası Neresi?), What

is it to You? (Sana Ne?), Is there Anyone who doesn’t

Love Spring? (Bahardan Memnun Olmayanınız Var

mı?), Acting like a Bird (Şimdi Bir Kuşa Benzedin), He

Who pays the Piper (Parayı Veren Düdüğü Çalar), I’ve

Lost My Sleep (Uykumu Kaybettim de Onu Arıyorum),

You believe My Donkey not Me (Bana İnanmıyorsun da

Eşeğe mi İnanıyorsun?)” are some of the stories brought

to life in this series of films. In addition, surfing revealed a

40-minute cartoon film about Nasreddin Hodja.

3. Pictures, Graphics, Caricatures and Photographs: When

surfing the web much visual material about Nasreddin

Hodja was found. Much of this is similar and shows

Nasreddin Hodja on a donkey seated facing either the

right or the wrong way. Some of this material is in the

form of caricature. In fact, some of the sites make use of a

Nasreddin Hodja caricature on their opening page. Others

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give news or announcements of caricature competitions

on some theme from the collected stories. Thus the

store of Nasreddin Hodja caricatures is extended by new

caricatures in the virtual world, while in Turkish humour

publications references to the treasure trove of his stories

are never ending. Virtual participators choose their own

sites through which to peddle their wares. In the virtual

world, photographs connected with Nasreddin Hodja,

mainly of Akşehir, are related to remains, events or newly

created works.

4. Poems: The essence of the verbal cultural product of

the Nasreddin Hodja stories is given in a style chosen to

suit Turkish story-telling and traditional performances. In

order to evaluate the image of Nasreddin Hodja as created

within the various forms, it is naturally right to know and

spread his image as seen in the stories. The impression

given in these is made use of in creating “pictures, gifts,

postcards, figurines, jigsaws, colouring books, educational

material, leadeship seminars, dance shows, cartoon films,

commemorative stamps, songs, cinema or television films,

printed dress-material, toys, plays, symphonies, ceramic

panels, and sometimes poems.” In fact, these may infuence

the way in which the stories are told, The image and stories

of Nasreddin Hodja as the inspiration for different kinds of

original creations have a national and global implication.

In written culture, verse has been used to tell about him

and his stories as explained in examples above. These

have a place on humour and literature sites in the virtual

world. Poets such as Orhan Veli (Nasreddin Hikâyeleri)

and others who have successfully put his stories into verse

may be accessed on the web. In the same way, under the

title “Nasreddin Poems” space has been found for many

poems connected with the Nasreddin Hodja stories. Some

of these are in the form of a eulogy for Nasreddin Hodja.

5. Gifts: The tradition and practice of gift-giving is accepted

as being a basic cultural area of the economy. Participators

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in this try to turn every moment in life into a reason for

celebration and therefore of gift-giving. In the process new

pretexts are created, in addition to the traditonal times of

New Year. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day. The

creation of cultural remembrances, meaningful moments

and excuses for giving are a never-ending source of profit

for the gifts sector. Moreover, it has become the custom

for travellers and sightseers to bring back commemorative

gifts. The most important source of income in settled

areas and national cultural tourism, and therefore of

the culture economy in general, is the gifts sector. Apart

from journeys of necessity, people travel in order to gain

a realization of the differences which influence the main

image of a certain area. Naturally this includes Nasreddin

Hodja.

Various gift items stemming from Nasreddin Hodja or

his stories are marketed today. The internet has become

a virtual market for the advertising and selling of these

gift items. Included in these are teaplates, mirrors,

spoons, ashtrays, plates, cases, wall and table ornaments

which bear the mage of Nasreddin Hodja and so help

to publicize him as well as to participate in the cultural

economy through value-added tax. In the same way, small

figurines of Nasreddin Hodja imitating an antique style

are produced and sold on the virtual market.

Most of the Nasreddin Hodja products presented and

sold on the virtual market and aimed at children arouse

interest. These items are puppets, plastic toys, cardboard

or wooden jigsaws, VCDs and CDs in Turkish of Nasreddin

Hodja’s adventures or funny stories, illustrated story books

with pop-ups, and reading sets. It is true that Turkish and

global toy designers have made good use of the image of

Nasreddin Hodja and his stories.

Visual reality sites give news of the Commemorative

Stamp to be issued for the 800th anniversary of Nasreddin

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Hodja’s birth. The 250,000 stamps printed in four blocks

as a series of four stamps picture Nasreddin Hodja riding

bakcwards on the donkey, stealing yeast for the lake, saying

“Eat, my fur coat, eat” and “The cauldron gave birth.” The

basic aim of this project is to publicize Nasreddin Hodja,

his philosophy and his stories.

6. Information and Publication: In the virtual word

many references are made to Nasreddin Hodja’s life and

to his tomb, character, and portraiture which are key to

the stories. The stories are interwoven with details form

the Hodja’s life. Data in virtual reality relating to his life

all seem to have come from the same hand. Nasreddin

Hodja lives through his stories. While there are only a

few lines about his life on virtual reality sites, the stories

of Nasreddin Hodja occupy many pages. It is possible to

access details of the Hodja, his life and stories in academic

publications and serial magazines. The web has made it

possible to track the publications of Nasreddin Hodja

stories and established a base for these. As stated above,

publishers and book-sale sites have an important input

on this subject. In the multi-lingual world, the first

virtual library was established by Gutenberg where four

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publications concerning Turkey and Turkish culture may

be found (since 2008). One of these is Nasreddin Hodja

(The Turkish Jester or The Pleasanteries of Cogia Nasr

Eddin Effendi).

7. Others: The Internet has removed the concepts of time

and space in the information world. This has speeded up

the flow of information about Nasreddin Hodja and his

stories and made sharing them easier. The opportunities

of the virtual world has made it possible to broadcast facts,

news and programmes of events and competitions as well

as publications and other news and services and, in fact, to

gain access to these.

Nasreddin Hodja is a participator in every kind of culture

and is an informed fount of wit. Generally described as

a cult hero of humour, Nasreddin Hodja lives and will

continue to live in a digital virtual medium. Perhaps this

immortality has occurred because of his ability to be

flexible and adapt in the face of socio-cultural revolution.

Nasreddin Hodja has information for every age and every

society. Fot this reason, if we set aside the extent of his

participation in verbal culture, it can be seen that he can

not be limited to a specific period of culture. He is the

master of associations and the communicator of all these.

It is true that it is Nasreddin Hodja who created a different

socio-cultural relationship within the context of his witty

inferences. In every period of time he was able to take on

new functions and enriching characteristics. Therefore

he is able to speak to all generations. Nasreddin Hodja is

the product of people and society in different contexts,

Nasreddin Hodja has the ability and strength to adapt and

recreate himself and this is the source of his endurance

and memorability, that is, of his influence. Just as he did

in the past, so in the future he will continue to enlighten

society.

As a result, Nasreddin Hodja represents a store of 800

years of the culture/humor of the Turkish people and, by

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extension, of peoples of different cultures and ages. This

store created around the image of Nasreddin Hodja has

been enriched and handed down over the generations and

is in existence now, to be carried forward into the future.

One should stress here Nasreddin Hodja’s function as a

standard bearer for future civilizations. Whereas Mevlana,

Yunus Emre and Hacı Bektaş-ı Veli are the pioneering

heart of Turkish critical though, it is Nasreddin Hodja who

carries forward the humorous wit of Anatolia.

Turkish society developed its character through the store

of memories handed down by Nasreddin Hodja and gained

a socio-cultural and historical depth. The perception and

evaluations of space and the system of critical thought

created by Nasreddin Hodja is the basic source of this.

Through the Nasreddin Hodja canon, informed reasoning

and problem solving within the required framework

(boundaries, partitions, divisions and limitations) has

become possible. Every kind of contemporary, new or

original creation stems from the Nasreddin Hodja canon.

Nasreddin Hodja stories are today shared on the

internet. Examples of the Nasreddin Hodja type of

stories disseminated there are enough to prove this. At

the same time, Nasreddin Hodja and his stories are the

cultural storehouse and inheritance of the Turkic world

and peoples. This heritage of wit continues to be kept

alive after almost eight centuries of time in harmony with

different types, ways of life, elements, motifs, thoughts,

protagonists, and traditions. The Nasreddin Hodja type of

humour is able to exist in harmony within its own country

as well as with the people and societies of different times

and geographical space by creating a different perception

of time. The real strength of Nasreddin Hodja comes

from the humour he created around himself through

time, association and communication, more importantly,

from the collective human memory. The phrase, “One

day Nasreddin Hodja met a man on the street,” shows the

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anonymity of Nasreddin Hodja’s time, space and society. It

sets the scene for his universality. Through this flexibility,

Nasreddin Hodja can easily be transported to different

societies throughout the world. The central Nasreddin

Hodja is the creator of a mutual store of humour. In

this world of humour Nasreddin Hodja can talk with

Tamburlaine on the one hand and surf the net on the

other. The complete works have been transferred from

the original oral to written culture and today this is being

brought to life in virtual/ digital culture. Having succeeded

in establishing communications and relationships with

every kind of culture, and through existing in every age/

time, Nasreddin Hodja has become immortal. Hackers

using a CD disc as a coaster, people chatting on MSN

or surfing the web, all share a passion for the many new

“Stories about Nasreddin Hodja” circulating on the web,

the media’s Nasreddin Hodja, “Humour is the offering of

the pure mind,“say artists like Kadir Çöpdemir, together

with medical professors, and the Nasreddin Hodja

projected by the media is a contemporary one and one

who will continue to appear.

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H. SELECTIONS FROM THE H. SELECTIONS FROM THE NASREDDIN CANON:NASREDDIN CANON:

T he following selection of stories has been chosen

on the basic principle of “Taking a look at life

and evaluating life from a different angle through

the medium of Nasreddin Hodja.” These stories, which

present a new angle on life, are a proof of the humorously

critical approach to life inherent in Nasreddin Hodja’s

character. Even in the simplest story life is seen from a

different angle, life is viewed from the other way around. It

is clear that Nasreddin Hodja and his approach to life are

represented in these stories. Stress is placed on the witty

sentence which creates the main point of the joke. So the

source explanation has been shortened or changed. This is

in keeping with the first period in which they were written

down. If a summary is required, a Nasreddin Hodja story

may be contained in a small picture-book, a page, or a

paragraph. In fact, the most distinctive particularity of

such stories is that they contain no unnecessary words or

sentences. A joke is effective when it it short and pithy.

Jokes hate verbiage or long explanations. On the other

hand, in keeping with the principles of oral culture, each

time a story is told it is re-created. The only thing that

does not change is its essence. There may be different

approaches to this and it may be given in a few words, a

sentence or a dialogue. In choosing these stories, the works

of many researchers, in particular, articles and books by

Pertev Naili Boratav, Mustafa Duman, Saim Sakaoğlu and

Ali Berat Alptekin, Dursun Yıldırım, Tahir Galip Seratlı,

and Oraz Yağmur have been consulted:

One day Nasreddin Hodja exclaimed, “What a

blessing God didn’t give camels wings. If he had,

they’d have come to sit on our roofs and chimneys

and wrecked the house over our heads.”

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In a dream he had one night Nasreddin Hodja was

offered nine akcas (coins) but he refused them,

saying he wanted ten, As he was saying “Ten”, he

woke up, looked at his empty hands and immediately

closed his eyes again, saying, “Well, what can I do, I’ll take

nine.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “What

becomes of the old moon when the new moon is

born?” It’s cut up to make the stars,” he replied.

One day while the Hodja was walking round the

marketplace, a man asked him, “Hodja, what’s the

moon at today?” “I don’t know. I’ve never bought

or sold the moon,” he replied.

One day Nasreddin Hodja made a will, saying

“When I die, bury me in an old grave.” Those

around him asked why. “When the recording

angel comes to examine me, I’ll say, “You’ve already done

that. Can’t you see this is an old grave?”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja went out dressed

in dark clothes; those who saw him asked why.

The Hodja replied: “The father of my son has died

and I’m in mourning for him.”

Nasreddin had a very fat lamb which his friends

wanted to take and make into shish kebab. They

came to the Hodja and said, “Hodja, tomorrow

will be the Day of Judgement. Let’s kill your lamb and have

a feast.” In the face of such an argument the Hodja had to

give them the lamb. They killed the lamb and took the

Hodja with them to the picnic area where they made a fire

and began to grill the kebabs. When they were done, his

friends took off their clothes and plunged into the nearby

river, The Hodja then threw their clothes into the

fire. When his friends returned, they looked

aound anxiously for their clothes but the Hodja

said to them, “What are you making such a fuss

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about? Tomorrow is Judgement Day and you won’t be

needing clothes.”

A thief broke into Nasreddin Hodja’s house one

day and after loading everything there onto his

back left the house. The Hodja, after loading the

few things remaining onto his own back, began to follow

the thief. When the thief arrived at his house, the Hodja

went in, too. “What are you doing here?” asked the thief.

“Isn’t this the house we’re moving to?” inquired the Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja borrowed a cauldron

from his neighbour. A few days later, when he had

finished with it, he sent it back with a pot inside it.

“What’s this?” asked the neighbour, pointing to the pot.

“Your cauldron gave birth”, replied the Hodja. Without

making any demur, the neighbout took the pot. A few days

later, Nasreddin Hodja needed the cauldron again and

asked his neighbour to loan him his once more. The

neigbour gladly gave it to him. Some time passed and the

cauldron did not return. The neighbour went to Nasreddin

Hodja’s house and asked, “Hodja, what happened to our

cauldron?” “Your cauldron died,” said the Hodja. When the

neighbour protested, saying, “Sir, how can a cauldron die?”

the Hodja retorted, “You believed a cauldron could give

birth so why don’t you believe it could die?”

One day Nasreddin Hodja saw several ducks

enjoying themselves on the lake; running up to

them he tried to catch one. When they saw him,

all the ducks flew away. He then dunked the bread he was

holding into the lake and began to eat it. When those who

saw him asked what he was doing, he said, “I’m eating duck

soup.”

A man once asked Nasreddin Hodja for a rope.

“It’s spread with flour, I can’t give it to you,” he

said. When the man remonstrated saying,

“Whoever spreads flour on a rope ?” the Hodja replied,

“The person who doesn’t want to lend it.”

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Nasreddin and Imad went on a wolf-hunt. When

they got to the cave where the wolf was hiding,

Nasreddin Hodja went in and Imad waited

outside. A little while later, Imad caught hold of the tail of

the wolf which had gone into the cave. The wolf was

covered all over with dust. When Imad asked, “Hodja,

what’s all this dust?” the Hodja replied from inside the

cave,” If the wolf ’s tail falls off, then you’ll see dust!”

Nasreddin Hodja one day climbed a tree and

started cutting off the branch he was sitting on.

Someone saw him and called to warn him, “What

are you doing? You’re cutting the branch you’re sitting on;

you’ll fall.” Without replying, the Hodja went on cutting

away and in a short while fell down together with the

branch. Picking himself up, he immediately ran after the

man who had warned him, collared him and said. “See

here, my man, you knew I’d fall down, so you must know

how I can die.” Seeing he couldn’t escape, the man replied,”

Well, load up your donkey and whip it up that hill; you’ll

not survive.” The Hodja tried this out and the second time

the donkey farted, he lay down on the ground screaming.

“I’m dead.” His neighbours came and put him in a coffin.

As they were carrying him to his house, they came to a

muddy patch and while they were arguing about how to

cross it, the Hodja popped his head out of the coffin and

said, “When I was alive, I used to go that way,”

Nasreddin Hodja was invited to a wedding and

went off to it wearing his old clothes. Noone there

took any notice of him so he went home and put

on his fur coat. Then the bridegroom’s father met him at

the door and invited him to sit in the best seat at the top

table. As he was seating himself, the Hodja took the sleeve

of his fur coat and dipped it into the food, saying, “Eat, my

fur coat, eat.” On seeing this, those standing by asked,

“What are you doing?” to which the Hodja replied, “These

days, it’s the fur coat that’s invited to the feast, so let it eat

the food.”

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One day some one came to the Hodja’s house and

asked for the loan of his donkey. “The donkey’s

not at home,” replied the Hiodja. Just then the

donkey on the roof started braying. “Oh, said the man,”

you say the donkey’s not at home but what is that braying

then?” “What a strange man you are!” exclaimed the

Hodja. “Are you going to believe the donkey’s words or

mine?”

Late one night Nasreddin Hodja was woken up by

noises in the street. In spite of all his wife’s

insistent pleas, he wrapped the bedcover around

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him and went out into the street. One of the people who

had been quarrelling escaped, making off with the Hodja’s

bedcover. He went back into the house, shivering. When

his wife asked him what had happened, he replied, “The

cover’s gone, the quarrel’s done.”

One cold day, the Hodja’s wife washed the Hodja’s

kaftan and hung it in the yard to dry. That night

the Hodja went into the yard and, mistaking the

kaftan for a man, asked his wife to bring him his bow and

arrows. He shot the kaftan full of holes with the arrows.

When morning came and he realized what had happened,

the Hodja sat down and wailed over the kaftan, exclaimimg

at same time, “Thank God, I wasn’t wearing it.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was asked why he

mounted the donkey on the worng side, he

replied, “If I got on the right way, you’d be behind

me. If you went in front, you’d have your backs to me. It’s

better this way.”

One night a thief was walking around on

Nasreddin Hodja’s roof. Hearing this, Nasreddin

Hodja spoke to his wife in a loud voice, saying,

“Oh, wife, when I come sliding down the moon beam, say

a prayer for my safety.” As soon as heard the prayer, the

thief threw himself into space and fell to the ground. The

Hodja lit a candle and took hold of the thief by the collar.

Then the thief exclaimed,” Please, sir! I’d be in prison a long

time while I have this mind and and you have that prayer.”

One day when the Hodja was in bed with his wife,

she said to him, “Oh! Move further away.” The

Hodja at once got up, put on his clothes and went

out into the street, sending someone he met there to ask

his wife if he was to go any further.

Nasreddin took some liver home with him one

day: his wife cooked it but and ate it all herself.

She told the Hodja that the cat had eaten it. The

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next day the Hodja took his axe and locked it up in a safe

place. Seeing him do this, his wife asked, “What are you

doing?” He said, “I’m hiding it from the cat.” “What’s the

cat going to do with an axe?” asked his wife. “If the cat can

polish off three akças’ worth of liver, it can steal an axe

worth forty akça, can’t it?” he retorted.

While Nasreddin Hodja’s wife was washing the

clothes, a crow flew off with the soap. When she

screamed after it, the Hodja said, “Oh, let it go.

Can’t you see it’s dirtier than we are!”

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One day Nasreddin Hodja put his right foot into

the stirrup and mounted his horse so that he was

facing its rump. “Hodja, why did you mount your

horse the wrong way?” they asked. The Hodja answered,

“It’s not that I mounted the wrong way, it’s that this horse

is left-handed.”

One day the Hodja went up into the pulpit and

said, “Muslims, I have a piece of advice for you. If

you have a son, please don’t call him ‘Eyup’. When

the congregation asked why, he answered, “In time, people

will shorten his name to ‘ip’.”

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One day when the Hodja was performing his

ritual ablutions, the water was cut off. So when

the prayers began, he started to pray standing on

one leg. “Hodja Efendi, what are you doing they asked.

“This leg hasn’t been ritually washed,” he replied.

One day the Hodja spent the night as the guest of

a friend. That night the candle burnt down as he

was getting into bed. When the host said, “Give

me the candle on your right and I’ll light it,” the Hodja

protested, “Are you crazy? How can I tell in the dark which

my right side is?”

One day the Hodja was asked what his sign of the

Zodiac was. “An old goat,” he replied. “Can an old

goat be a zodiac sign?” they protested. “That’s my

sign but when my mother bore me it was a kid. Forty years

have passed since then so I guess by now the kid has

become an old goat,” was his answer.

When Nasreddin Hodja was a preacher in

Sivrihisar he had a quarrel with the police

superintendant. A little while later, the police

superintendant died. The Hodja was asked to give the

address at the funeral. “Go and find someone else,” he said.

“I’m only a bird, he won’t listen to me.”

One day the Hodja was sitting at home when the

bell rang. The Hodja shouted from upstairs,

“What do you want?” “Sir, please come down,”

was the answer. The Hodja got up and came down, opened

the door and asked the man what he wanted. “I want alms,”

said the man. Then the Hodja said “Come upstairs.” When

the man did so, the Hodja said, “May God give you alms.”

One day while walking down the street Nasreddin

Hodja met some friends of his who said, “Come,

let’s go to your house,” When they got to the door,

the Hodja said, “Just wait here a minute while I see if the

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house is fit to enter or not.” The Hodja then told his wife to

get rid of the men at the door. His wife went to the door

and told the men that this was not the Hodja’s house. The

men at the door expostulated saying, “How’s that? We

came here together and we saw the Hodja enter the house.”

The argument dragged on, until the Hodja stuck his head

out of the window and said,” Hey there, why are you going

on about it? Maybe this house has two doors and the

Hodja left by the other one.”

One day, while the Hodja was lying as if dead by

the side of a stream, a man came along and

murmured to himself,” I wonder where I can ford

this stream.” Hearing this, the Hodja said, “When I was

alive, I used to cross over there, But I don’t know where the

ford is now.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was being shaved by an

inexperienced barber. With each stroke of the

razor, he drew blood and then stuck a piece of

cotton wool over the wound. When the Hodja saw what

his face looked like, he could not restrain himself and

exclaimed, “My good man, you’ve sown half of my face

with cotton; let me plant hemp in the other half.”

One evening Nasreddin Hodja went to the well,

looked down into it and saw the moon shining in

the water. He called to his friends, saying, “Run!

The moon has fallen into the water! Bring a cloth. Rescuing

the moon will bring us a blessing.” The Hodja dangled the

cloth with two hooks on it into the water. When one of the

hooks caught on something, the Hodja heaved with all his

might. The cloth tore and the Hodja landed on his back.

Looking up into the sky, the Hodja said, “Thank God! It took

a lot of effort but I put the moon back in its place.”

One day some one came to the Hodja and said to

him, “Please do me a favour. Ask so-and-so for

their daughter’s hand in marriage.” The Hodja

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went and did as he had been asked. Later when the man

asked how things had gone, the Hodja replied, “Well,

brother, it was difficult for them to betrothe her to anyone,

even to me.”

Nasreddin once found an akça as he was walking

round the marketplace. He went up to a high

place and exclaimed. “The finder found the akça; I

wonder where the rest of them are.”

One day a mountain wolf ate Nasreddin Hodja ’s

donkey. When he returned to the town, he asked

the children playing in the street, “Children, does

anyone say that a mountain wolf ate Nasreddin Hodja’s

donkey?” When they answered, “No”, he said, “Well, I hope

that’s the truth.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja’s wife said to him, “Oh,

Hodja, I want you to buy me some material.” The

Hodja opened his arms wide and asked, “Is that

enough?” “That will be enough,” she replied. Keeping his

arms stretched wide, the Hodja went to market when

someone blocked his path, he said irritably, “Get out of the

way, you’re spoiling the measurement.”

Nasreddin Hodja planted some garlic in his

garden one morning and in the evening dug it up

and took it home. “What did you do that for?”

asked his wife, “Need you ask? We must put it by for

winter.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Why does

everyone go a different way?” “So the balance of

the earth won’t be upset,” replied the Hodja.

One day the Hodja climbed a tree, taking his

shoes with him. Those around said, “Hodja, leave

your shoes on the ground. What good are they to

you up there?” “Maybe I’ll go on somewhere from here. Do

you want me to go barefoot?” replied the Hodja.

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It seems that Nasreddin Hodja was addicted to

eating salt. Those who saw this remarked, “It’s

said that eating salt dries up the brain. Why do

you eat so much of it?” “So that my brain becomes the

same as others’,” replied the Hodja.

One day they said to Nasreddin Hodja. “Your wife

goes out visiting lot.” “If that were true,” said the

Hodja, “she’d have visited our house, too.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked: “Hodja,

what happens to the old moon?” “Is there anyone

who doesn’t know that? The stars eat it,” he replied.

One day Nasreddin Hodja mislaid a ring in his

house. He went out and started searching for it in

the yard. When his wife asked him why he was

looking there, the Hodja replied,” It’s dark inside the house.”

One day, Nasreddin Hodja’s salted cheese was

stolen. The Hodja ran and sat down by the

fountain. When asked why he did this, he replied,”

Whoever ate my cheese will surely come to the fountain.”

Nasreddin loved playing chess and telling chess

players what moves to make. A friend of his who

knew his habit of interfering made him promise

to divorce his wife if he interrupted anyone again while he

was playing. One day, while Nasreddin Hodja was

watching a brilliant game, he interrupted to give advice to

one of the players. He then got up and, when asked where

he was going, he said, “You play the way I told you and I’ll

go and renew my marriage vows.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja placed such a heavy

load on his donkey’s back that the donkey buckled

under its weight and fell to the ground. Then the

Hodja took some of the weight off the donkey’s back and

loaded it on to his own before mounting the donkey. Again

the donkey collapsed. “See here”, said the Hodja, “I’m

carrying half your load and you still don’t budge.”

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One day Nasreddin Hodja dropped a sacking

needle into the water. He took a sack, dunked it in

the water and began to call the needle, saying,

“Come to mother, come to mother!”

One day Nasreddin Hodja went to court in order

to divorce his wife. When the judge asked him

what his wife’s name was, he said he didn’t know.

“How can you not know the name of your wife after forty

years?” asked the Judge. “Since I didn’t intend to get on with

her, I never thought to ask her name,” was the Hodja’s reply.

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One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Should I

walk on the right or the left side of the coffin?” “So

long as you’re not inside it, it doesn’t matter which

side you walk on” was the answer.

Nasreddin Hodja one day spread the shirt he had

washed on a bush to dry. When the breeze blew it

off on to the ground, he said to his wife, “A sheep

must be sacrificed in my name.” When his wife asked why,

the Hodja said, “I got off lightly What if I‘d been inside the

shirt? I’d have been smashed into a thousand pieces.”

Another day, while Nasreddin Hodja was getting

on his donkey, he fell down. On seeing this, the

children began to laugh. “What are you laughing

at?” asked the Hodja. “I was on the ground before and now

I’m there again.”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was sitting at the

base of the minaret, a man came along and,

pointing to the minaret, asked. “What’s that?” The

Hodja replied. “Actually, it’s a well that’s been turned inside

out and put in the sun to dry.”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja had climbed a

tree in his garden and was busy picking the fruit,

he saw a camel caravan approaching. “Stop!” he

commanded the camel drivers. “Take your camels some

other way.” “Hey! Are you afraid of camels?” jeered the camel

drivers “No,” said the Hodja, “but this tree I’ve climbed is one

that’s never seen a camel. If it suddenly catches sight of you,

it might be startled and throw me down.”

One dry summer the farmers came together to

pray for rain. One of them said to Nasreddin

Hodja, “You’re a praying man. Pray that God, may

His Name be Exalted, will send rain”. No sooner had the

Hodja said the prayer than thunder roared, lightning

flashed, and the heavens opened. Not knowing which way

to run, the Hodja took refuge in a hole in the rock.

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Suddenly a bolt of lightning flashed near the Hodja and he

exclaimed, “Oh, God, your slave said the wrong prayer.

You can light a torch to search for a cave in the rocks.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was building his house,

he told the carpenters, “Nail the parquet to the

ceiling and the rafters to the floor.” When the

carpenters queried this, the Hodja said, “I’m getting

married soon. When a man marries, his house is turned

upside down, they say. I don’t want to have to pay twice.”

One day, Nasreddin Hodja was preaching from

the pulpit, “Oh, my friends, Give thanks to

Almighty God that he made the sky without it’s

needing any support. Otherwise all the trees in the world

would not be enough to hold it up.”

Nasreddin Hodja went to the market to sell his

cow which no longer gave any milk. When the

broker he had commissioned to sell the cow

started calling out, “This cow gives so much milk that a

kitten could walk on the the cream from it without sinking,”

the Hodja said. “I’ve given up the idea of selling it,” and set

off home.

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was on his way to

market, some children playing in the street

stopped in front of him. They asked the Hodja to

bring them penny whistles. One of them gave him a penny.

On his way home from the market, the Hodja gave this

child a whistle. When the others asked for theirs, he said,

“He who pays, plays the whistle.”

One day, when Nasreddin Hodja was talking with

his friends, he said, “An afternoon on a summer’s

day is worth three days of winter.” When asked

why, Nasreddin Hodja replied, “I’ve tested it. It takes three

days for my kaftan to dry when I wash it in winter, but only

one afternooon in summer.”

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One day, while Nasreddin Hodja was having a

conversation, he said “There’s no difference

between being young and being old.” When he

was asked, “How do you work that out?” he said, “There’s

a stone in front of my house, When I was young I couldn’t

lift it and I still can’t.”

Nasreddin Hodja was preaching a sermon one

day and he asked the congregation this question,

“My friends, when I am dead, you will be asked

how you knew me in my body. What will you say?” The

congregation said “We’ll say we knew him to be a good

man,” “In that case”, said the Hodja, “don’t wait till I’m

dead. Say it now and let me hear it.”

Nasreddin was a guest in someone’s house. His

host said to him, “I have Walnut Baklava. Would

you like some?” In answer, the Hodja told a story,

saying, “Once upon a time a fox was staying in someone’s

house”. His host said, “I have a plucked chicken, would you

like some?” The fox said, “I’m laughing too hard to give you

a reply.”

One day a rich man arranged a feast to which he

invited all the well-to-do people in his

neighbourhood. Nasreddin Hodja was included

among the guests. Afterwards, when the host was bidding

the guests goodbye, he asked him, “Have you any

recommendations?” The Hodja said, “Keep in mind that a

fountain shouldn’t be built beside a river.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was on a sea voyage, a

storm arose and the captain was swept overboard.

The ship’s passengers asked Nasreddin Hodja to

take his place. Unable to refuse, the Hodja accepted, saying

“Bring me a compass,” The crew searched hard but couldn’t

find one. This time the Hodja said, “Bring me a chart.” The

crew couldn’t find a chart either. “In that case,” said the

Hodja, “let everyone bring themselves to confess their sins.”

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Mounted on his donkey, Nasreddin Hodja was

one day passing along one of the streets in Akşehir.

Two three-legged stools trailed behind the

donkey. On seeing him, the judge jokingly asked, “Where

are you going with your children?” “I’m going to register

them at the religious school so that when they grow up

they can become judges,” replied the Hodja.

An honest friend of Nasreddin Hodja once asked

him for a loan. The Hodja said, “Come tomorrow

and I’ll give you the money.” The next day he came

to the Hodja with an IOU for the money in his hand. The

Hodja first gave him the money and then returned the

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IOU he was offering, saying “Keep the IOU.” When he

remonstrated, the Hodja said, “Let it stay with you so that

each time you see it, you will be reminded of what you owe.”

Once during a time of dearth, the Hodja was in

difficulties and could not buy himself any shoes.

When his wife complained, saying, “Your shoes

are all worn-out. What are you going to do about it?” the

Hodja replied, “I have shoes and, even if I hadn’t, my feet

are sound enough.”

An inexperienced preacher climbed into the

pulpit one day and addressed the congregation,

saying, “Every evening the sun goes into a huge

well on its left side, spends the night there, and every

morning comes up out of it on the right side.” Nasreddin

Hodja couldn’t refrain from saying, “Sir, give up letting the

sun down the well, talk about what you know, ablutions

and prayers.”

Nasreddin was asked the well-known question,

“Did the chicken come from the egg or did the egg

come from the chicken?” The Hodja replied:

“Neither. Whatever comes, comes from Almighty God.”

A greedy man once came to the Hodja and said,

“No-one is perfect. My fault is that I eat too much.

People scold me as if it was a really great sin.

What can I do about it?” The Hodja replied, “Take no

notice. Those who know how to eat should know how to

swallow.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Oh! Which

would you prefer- a horse, a fine house or a

hundred gold coins?” “None of them,” replied the

Hodja. “All I want is good health.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja fell ill. Trying to re-

assure him, his visitors said, “Don’t be anxious or

afraid. In this world, death comes only once.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” said the Hodja, feebly lifting his

head. “If it came more often, I wouldn’t be worrying.”

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One day when Nasreddin Hodja was having a

discussion about beating, someone said in

support of beating “The stick came from heaven,

didn’t it?” In reply the Hodja said, “If the stick had been a

blessed thing, it would have stayed in heaven, not left it.”

One day a traveller who had an answer for

everything arrived in Akşehir. Noone could get

the better of him so they called Nasreddin Hodja,

saying, “You’re the only person who can best this man.”

The traveller began to interrogate Nasreddin Hodja. He

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answered all his questions. Feeling aggrieved, the traveller

jokingly pointed to a huge ox passing by them and asked

what it was. “That’s an ox”, the Hodja said. “Really?” said

the traveler, raising his eyebrows. “Why man, our donkeys

are bigger than that.” The Hodja could not contain himself

and snapped,” Well, not only are our donkeys smaller but

they don’t talk like yours do,” thus stopping the man’s

mouth.

One day as the Hodja was riding along on his

donkey, he met a man on a horse who had a great

opinion of himself. In order to tease the Hodja,

the man said, “How’s your donkey getting along, Sir?” “The

donkey? Oh, donkeys get along on horses,” returned the

Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja,

you’re the only person who can answer this. What ‘s

the most valuable thing in this world?” “Advice”

replied the Hodja. When asked why, he replied, “When

advice is taken, it’s worth everything, when not taken,

nothing.”

A man who had wasted his inheritance within a

very short time came to the Hodja and said, “Oh

dear, I’ve spent everything I laid my hands on.

Please help me put things to rights.” The Hodja replied,

“Five years from now, you’ll be free of care.” “Will I be rich

in five years time?” the man asked. “No,” replied the Hodja,

“You’ll have got used to being poor.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked what the

most dangerous creature in the world was.

“Human-kind,” replied the Hodja, and when asked

why, said, “A dog is faithful to the one who feeds it. A wolf

won’t travel the path a human has trod. The snake doesn’t

do harm if it’s left alone. But is this what man is like? “If

you don’t believe me, do someone a good turn and see

what happens.”

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One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked by a well-

wisher, “Hodja, how are you?” “If you’re asking me

as enemy, the answer is I’m fine; if as a friend, it’s

a long story.”

Every year Nasreddin Hodja would give the

required tithes and alms to the richest person in

Akşehir. When asked why, he would reply, “Who

ever God gives to, I do, too.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja mounted a frisky horse

which began to gallop away. Somehow or other,

the Hodja fell off. Someone in the crowd which

collected asked, “Hodja, what happened?” “When the

horse got rid of its burden, I got off, too,” he replied.

The people of the area needed help from the

State. Nasreddin Hodja was chosen as their

representative to visit the chief of police. Before

setting off, he collected money from the people of the area.

After completing the business, the Hodja came back and

returned the money he had been given. On being asked

why, he said, “A man with money makes a compelling

sound. That’s why I wanted to have money in my pockets.”

One of the village councillors complained to the

Hodja, “These days one snatches bread from the

lion’s jaw.” “No, it’s not from the lion’s mouth but

from the human’s. If it were from the lion’s, it would be

easier to get,” the Hodja returned.

Nasreddin Hodja once got on his horse backwards

way round. “Hey.” he said, “run to the stable. This

horse has lost it’s head.”

One day as Nasreddin Hodja was working in the

fields, a passer-by asked him, “How long will it

take me to to reach such-and-such a village by this

road?” The Hodja made no reply. Even after the question

had been repeated several times, the Hodja said nothing,

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so the man continued on his way. When he was a little way

off, the Hodja called after him, “It’ll take you three hours to

get to that village.” “Why didn’t you say so before?” the man

exclaimed. “How could I know how long it would take

until I’d seen how fast you walk?” replied the Hodja.

One day a talkative neighbor asked Nasreddin

Hodja: “Hodja, just minute ago I saw someone

carrying a big pot of turkey with stuffing.” “That’s

got nothing to do with me,” said the Hodja. The man said

in an eager manner, “Oh, but it was to your house they

were taking it.” “In that case, then, said the Hodja”, “it’s got

nothing to do with you.”

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One day a neighbor came to the Hodja to ask for

some of his 40-year old vinegar. The Hodja said, “I

can’t give you any.” ”What, aren’t we neighbors?

Why can’t you give me any?” “If ’ I’d given it to everyone

who asked, would the vinegar be forty years old now?”

asked the Hodja.

Nasreddin Hodja once bought a bad-tempered

mule and, however hard he tried, he could not

train it to do anything. One day he got on the

mule. The mule started to gallop away at full speed. When

the people around saw this, they asked, “Hodja, where are

you going to in such a hurry?” The Hodja holding the

bridle in one hand and his hat in the other, replied,

“Wherever the mule is going!”

Nasreddin Hodja didn’t give back the object he

had borrowed until the next day. When asked

why, he replied, “Let him learn the value of what

he is lending,” he said.

Nasreddin was asked one day, “How long are we

going to go on being born and then dying?” “Until

both Heaven and Hell are full,” replied the Hodja.

One day the Hodja was talking with a group of

friends. Some of them were complaining about

winter; others about summer. One of them said,

“How undecided we humans are. Some don’t like winter,

others don’t like summer.” The Hodja asked, “Does anyone

have anything to say about spring?”

A rich but miserly man once said to the Hodja,

“You’re said to be worse than I am. They say you,

too, are very fond of money.” The Hodja replied,

“They told the truth. Yes, I do love money. But I love

money because it keeps me from being dependent on

hard-hearted people such as you. Not because I want to

store it up by the sackful.”

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One day when Nasreddin Hodja was sitting by the

window looking at the rain, a man started running

in order not to get wet. The Hodja asked the man,

“Is it right to run from God’s gifts?” The man slowed down

and got thoroughly soaked. Another day when the Hodja

was running in order not to get soaked by the rain, he

encountered the same man. “Well, well, aren’t you the one

who spoke to me the other day. So why are you running

from God’s gift?” “In order not to tread on God’s gift,”

replied the Hodja.

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One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “On which

side of the face is the nose?” The Hodja pointed to

the back of his neck. “How’s that? Isn’t that just

the opposite?” asked the man. “You’re right,” said the

Hodja. “But unless you show someone first what’s wrong,

they won’t learn what’s right,” One day Nasreddin Hodja

was asked about a road which didn’t exist. The Hodja said,

“When speaking with those who know things, one should

listen carefully. When speaking with those who don’t

know, one should learn to hold one’s tongue.”

In the time of his greatness, Tamburlaine put on

the robe of a dervish and began to walk around

Akşehir. The town had not yet been conquered

and the people in the market place were talking about

Tamburlaine’s cruel ways. Tamburlaine went up to the

Hodja, who was speaking against him, and said, “Hodja,

take back those words; Tamburlaine might be listening.”

Suspicious of the dervish, Nasreddin Hodja asked, “Oh,

saintly man, from which sphere are you a rose? From

where do you come?” “I am the scourges of God,” he

replied. When he heard this, the Hodja recognized him.

Turning to the crowd, he held out his hands, palms

upwards, and said, “Oh, followers of Mohammed, let me

invite you to my funeral which is about to take place.”

One day the donkey belonging to the chief of the

city watch went missing. Everyone scattered this

way and that. As requested the Hodja went into a

garden and began to sing a folk song. When asked what he

was doing, he said, “The best way to find a donkey is to

sing its song.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja went to the marketplace

and saw a small bird on sale for the sum of ten

akca. When he queried this, he was told, “This

bird can speak.” Following this, the Hodja immediately

went home, snatched up a turkey and brought it back to

the market to sell. When he said the price was twenty akca,

the people complained that it was too much. “Oh, is that

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so?” replied the Hodja. “See that bird over there? They

want ten akca for that thing no bigger than my hand.” “But

that bird can talk” they argued. “Well,” said the Hodja, “if

that bird can talk, this bird can think.”

Once upon a time, when Nasreddin Hodja was on

a sea voyage, a storm blew up. The ship pitched

from side to side, one of the masts broke, and the

sails were torn to shreds. The crew were running hither

and thither trying to reef the sails. Then the Hodja said,

“This ship is heeling over from the bottom and you’re busy

trying to tie it down from above. If you want it to stop

pitching, you should tie it down from below.”

One day when the Hodja was wandening around

Konya he saw a large mansion. He went towards it

and asked the gatekeeper “What is this place?”

The gatekeeper said, with a teasing smile, “It’s a windmill.”

Understanding the situation, the Hodja replied, “It’s a

strange thing to have such large animals working at a

windmill.”

One winter’s day, Nasreddin Hodja’s wife

complained that their blanket was too thin and

asked him to go and buy some cotton. Although

the Hodja said that cotton was very expensive, his wife

insisted. So he took a sack and went outside. He filled the

sack with snow and brought it back. When his wife

complained, “Goodness me, can snow take the place of

cotton, can snow keep you warm?” “Of course, it can,” replied

the Hodja. “If snow didn’t keep you warm, would our

ancestors have slept comfortably under it for so many years?”

One day Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey was stolen.

When they heard this, the village people all came

to the Hodja and began to ask questions such as,

“Oh, why didn’t you bolt the stable door?” “Why didn’t you

build the walls higher?” “Can anyone sleep so soundly?” In

reply the Hodja said, “Yes, you’re right. It’s my fault, of

course, not the thief ’s.”

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One summer night, sleepless from the heat,

Nasreddin Hodja was walking the streets. When a

curious busybody asked him what he was doing,

the Hodja said, “My sleep has left me and I’m looking for it.”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was returning on

his donkey from his garden, there was an

earthquake. The Hodja immediately jumped off

his donkey and fell on his knees in prayer. When asked

what he was doing, the Hodja said, “I’m sure this

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earthquake has destroyed my house. What if I’d been at

home? I’m thanking God I wasn’t.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked whether he

could show them a miracle. “Of course, I can,” he

said, “You see that mountain over there? I can

make it come here.” “Well, then, make it come,” they said.

Nasreddin Hodja stretched out his arms and cried,” Come

here, oh great one.” But the mountain did not move. Then

the Hodja started to walk towards the mountain. When

asked what he was doing, the Hodja said, “I’m not conceited.

If the mountain won’t come to me, I’ll go to the mountain.”

A self-satisfied, rich landowner once asked

Nasreddin Hodja why he sat in front of him when

he was saying his prayers. The Hodja realized that

he was up against a cantankerous person and replied

gently, “Don’t worry, sir. When the prayers are over, you’ll

be in front of me.”

One day an insolent and greedy guest arrived at

Nasreddin Hodja’s house. The Hodja tried to

satisfy him with what he had in the house. Just as

they were about to go to bed, the guest said to the Hodja,

“In my house, in my home, We eat grapes when bedtimes

come.” The Hodja countered this, saying, “No such custom

have we here, We keep grapes for autumn sere.”

One day all the richest people in Akşehir invited

Tamburlaine to have sherbet with them. As was

the custom, the sherbet was offered to

Tamburlaine first. When he saw that Tamburlaine had

finished it all. one of the toadies involuntarily said “Hello”

instead of, “Your good health.” When Tamburlaine looked

angrily at him, Nasreddin Hodja stepped in, saying, “My

lord, in our region, our “Hello” means “Sweet to the tongue.”

A merchant in Akşehir used to invite Nasreddin

Hodja to visit him whenever he saw him. One day

the Hodja had a mind to take him up on this and

went to the merchant’s house. Looking out of the

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window, the merchant saw the Hodja coming and said to his

wife, “The Hodja’s come. Tell him I’m not at home, I’ve gone

out.” Greeting the Hodja at the door, the wife explained the

situation. Angrily the Hodja exclaimed. “Next time he goes

out, tell him not to leave his head behind at the window!”

Nasreddin Hodja went away on a long journey

during which he stayed with an acquaintance of

his. When the host asked him, “Are you thirsty,

are you sleepy?” the Hodja said, “As I was coming here, I

slept for a little by a stream.”

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Nasreddin Hodja was not very fond of egg-plant.

One day, his neighbour asked the Hodja to the

evening meal to break the Ramadan fast. First

came soup, followed by eggplants cooked in oil, then

mousssaka, then eggplant kebab, meat stew with eggplant

puree, and, finally, stuffed eggplant. After reluctantly

taking a little of each, the Hodja asked the servant for a

glass of water, adding, “but without eggplant, please.”

Nasreddin Hodja was taking a trip when he came

across someone he knew. In the, course of

conversation, the man asked, “What would you do

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if a bear came out of there?” The Hodja said, “I’d throw a

stone at it”, “What if there were no stones?” “Then I’d climb

a tree.” “If there were no trees?” he persisted, The Hodja

then exlaimed, “My friend, are you on my side or the bear’s?”

Once, on a journey, Nasreddin Hodja was

spending the night at a han with a friend when he

nodded off. Just as he was about to fall asleep, his

friend asked, “Are you asleep?” The Hodja asked, “What’s

the matter, is there something you want to say?” “Yes, I

wanted to ask you for a loan.” The Hodja began to snore

and said, “I’m asleep, ask me tomorrow.”

Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja, why doesn’t

money stick to the hands of the generous but does

to those of the miserly?” The Hodja replied, “The

generous man is like a mountain, the miserly one like a

plain. Money is like water. It runs off the mountain and

collects on the plain.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey was stolen.

Hearing this, his neighbours began to ask

questions such as, “How was it stolen?” “Where

was it taken from?” to which the Hodja replied, “I don’t

know, I wasn’t there.”

One day while Tamburlaine was in conversation

with Nasreddin Hodja, a hole on the Hodja’s robe

became apparent. Enjoying his talk, Tamburlaine

did not realize that he had put his finger into the hole. Just

then Tamburlaine asked the Hodja, “When does one

realize that someone has gone mad?” to which the Hodja

replied, “When his finger makes the hole in the robe of the

man sitting next to him bigger.”

In the course of conversation, one of the speakers

said that a certain man was said to be very clever.

Another of them asked the Hodja, “So-and-so is

really very clever, isn’t he?” “He must be,” said the Hodja.

“I’ve never seen him pay for anything.”

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Nasreddin was asked, “What is the most valuable

thing a man can possess in this world?” The Hodja

replied, “The body, but that’s in the hands of the

doctor.”

Once the Hodja was jokingly asked, “Say

something that’s really great,” Realising he was

being teased, the Hodja replied, “The elephant”.

Nasreddin Hodja was going through bad times

and losing his donkey was the last straw. Spreading

his arms wide, he prayed, saying, “Oh, God, if I

find my donkey, I’ll be the happiest man alive.” A

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little while later the Hodja found his donkey and excalimed,

“This means that in order to make a poor man like me

happy, you first make him lose his donkey and then find it

again.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was walking along the

street eating a piece of bread. Those who saw him

asked, “Isn’t it wrong to walk along the street eating

a piece of bread?” “When you do something in secret and it

isn’t wrong, how can it be wrong to do it openly?” he replied.

Once upon a time Nasreddin Hodja took up the

habit of chewing gum. When asked why, the

Hodja said, “When a man’s chewing gum, he’s too

busy for idle talk.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was passing in front of

the palace one day, he asked, “Well, brother, and

how do you serve the King of Kings. “I’m his chief

madman,” the man replied mockingly. “May God in his

mercy give you brains,” rejoined the Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja was on a voyage when

the captain became ill and there was no first mate

on board. In this situation, the Hodja said, “I’ve

sailed a boat on the lake at Akşehir” and took the wheel. A

little while later, the ship grounded with a great deal of

noise. The other passengers turned on the Hodja saying,

“What kind of a captain are you?” The Hodja said, “It’s not

the fault of my steering. The sea just came to an end.”

Once when the Hodja was running a grocery

store, a woman came in and said, “I’m the wife of

one of the Catsons. I want to buy this. Please put

it down on your accounts.” The Hodja answered, “I’m

sorry, lady. I know your hsuband but I can’t deliberately

burden a cat with my accounts.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja

what’s the hardest thing in the world?” The Hodja

replied, “The hardest thing in the world is a word,

hard to explain and hard to understand.”

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A foolish merchant from Akşehir once mounted

his donkey and, as he was going along the road, he

met Nasreddin Hodja. Wanting to make fun of

him, he said, “Hello! Everybody is talking of your wonderful

deeds. Come, breathe on this donkey under me and turn it

into a two-legged creature like yourself.” The Hodja

replied, “I can’t turn the four-legged donkey under you

into a two-legged donkey, but I can turn the one on top of

it into a four-legged one.”

Nasreddin went to a new city. As he was walking

around, one of the people in the street asked him,

“Sir, what day is it?” The Hodja replied. “I’ve only

just asrrived. I haven’t yet learned what day it is here.”

“When I die”, Nasreddin Hodja said to his

children, “don’t build a splendid tomb for me.”

When asked why, the Hodja replied, “So that the

angels won’t think I’m a rich man and squeeze the life out

of me.”

Nasreddin at one time had a metal worker’s shop.

A man who had brought a cauldron to him to be

repaired, took it home and found it still leaked.

Very angry, he came back to the Hodja. The Hodja asked

him what he had filled the cauldron with. When he said,

“Water,” the Hodja exclamed, “Oh, brother, you should

have told me that. I thought you were going to fill it will

walnuts.”.

The landowner’s mischievous son invited his

friends home to eat a dish of stewed raisins. “You

can only eat this if you tell me the name of a fruit

beginning with ‘G’, he delared. “Gooseberries,” said one,

and sat down at the table. “And blackberries,” said the

Hodja, as he dipped the ladle into the dish.

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was at the

madrassa performing his duties, he was explaining

to the children what a lie was. “Pay attention,

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children, I’m going to tell you a lie.” Pointing to the window,

he said, “Look there’s an apple.” When all the children

looked at the window, he said, “I told you I was going to tell

you a lie. Now you can see how easy it is to trick people.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was giving his students

some advice. “Whatever you do,” he said, “always

tell the truth.” But one of the students interrupted

him, saying, “But, my father says that if you tell the truth

you’ll be thrown out of nine villages.” “Take no notice,” said

the Hodja. “There’s always a tenth village to be found.”

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One day as Nasreddin Hodja was getting ready to

take his mangy donkey to the marketplace to sell,

he began to polish the donkey’s hoofs with his

shoe polish. When asked why he was doing that, he said,

“So people like the look of my donkey. Then his spotty

patches will seem like decoration.”

Nasreddin saw an empty shop one day as he was

going round the marketplace square. Curious, he

went inside and asked the man sitting there

smoking a hubble-bubble pipe, “What do you sell here?”

The man said in a mocking tone, “Donkeys are bought and

sold here.” “Well, O.K. you’re here, but where’s the man

who sells the donkeys?” returned the Hodja.

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One day Nasreddin Hodja went to the cemetery

and lay down in an empty grave. In response to

those who asked him what he was doing, he said, “I

am waiting for the recording angels. If I can learn what

they’re going to ask before I die, I won’t have problems later.”

One day a man came to Nasreddin Hodja and

showed him a horseshoe. “Hodja,” he said, “I

found this horse shoe in the road. They say it

brings good luck. Would it be a sin to hang it on my door?”

“No,” said the Hodja. “But if it was going to bring good

luck, it would have brought it to its owner. The poor

creature wouldn’t have had to suffer all day long under

such a heavy load.”

Some of his friends criticized Nasreddin Hodja,

saying, “Oh! You’re a man of knowledge and

culture. Other people have written so many books.

But you haven’t written any.” To which the Hodja replied,

“Why are you comparing me with them? They write things

down because their memories are poor. I don’t have such a

problem so I don’t need to write things down.”

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was delivering a

sermon at the mosque, he realized that the

congregation were falling asleep. Seeing that, he

raised his voice and said, “Oh, people gathered here,

yesterday I saw four-legged ducks on Akşehir Lake!” As soon

as they heard the words, “four-legged ducks,” the drowsy

congregation opened their eyes. Then the Hodja exclaimed,

“What kind of people are you? I’ve been speaking of the

words of God all this time and you were all falling asleep.

When I told you a whopping big lie, you all opened your

eyes.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was sitting on the

banks of Akşehir Lake with a friend of his. “Hodja”,

said his friend, “how many pails of water do you

think this lake holds?” The Hodja replied, “That depends

on the pail. If you have a pail big enough, only one.”

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One day when sitting in one of Tamburlaine’s

councils, Nasreddin Hodja fell into deep

discussion with the man sitting next to him.

Seeing this, Tamburlaine asked jokingly, “What lies are

you telling now?” “We are talking about the way you

dispense justice,” replied the Hodja.

One day, Tamburlaine gave the Hodja a basket of

peaches and asked him to take them to his home.

The Hodja took the basket of peaches and left it in

the cemetery. When Tamburlaine returned to his palace

and did not find the peaches there, he asked the Hodja

where they were. The Hodja asked Tamburlaine to come

with him and took him to the cemetery. “See,” he said.

“There are the peaches. You asked me to take them to your

home. You’re not going to be in this world forever. Your

fame and palace will pass away, This is your eternal home.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was walking around the

market place one day with his friend they saw two

people arguing. When they came nearer, they

heard one of the men say to the other, “I don’t want to

know you. You’re nothing but a donkey!” The other man

retorted, “You’re just the son of a donkey.” Then the Hodja

took hold of his friend’s arm and said, “Let’s go. They turn

out to be related to each other.”

On a certain day the Hodja went out dressed in

dark clothes. When the people saw him dressed

like this, they asked whom he was in mourining

for. “I’m in mourning for myself,” said the Hodja. “I can’t

mourn for myself after I’m dead so I’m doing it now.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja approached a stall and

asked the price of some cloth there. Finding the

price too high, the Hodja remonstrated, “Friend,

have you no conscience?” to which the shopkeeper replied,

“Sir, that’s not something that’s sold in this marketplace.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja fell off his donkey.

When those around asked, “Shall we call a

doctor?” the Hodja replied, “No, call someone

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who’s fallen off a donkey. He’s the only person who will

understand my condition.”

A neighbour was complaining to Nasreddin

Hodja. “Don’t ask,” he said. “The other day as I

was walking along, I pricked my foot on a thorn. I

couldn’t move for the pain.” “Sleep with your shoes on in

future,” advised the Hodja.

One day a neighbour said to the Hodja, “Don’t

ask. I’m in trouble. For an hour after I wake up in

the morning, I can’t see a thing. What should I

do?” The Hodja said. “Wake up an hour later than usual.”

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One day the Hodja had a visitor. The Hodja set a

plate of steaming ravioli on the table. The visitor

couldn’t wait and, digging in, put a spoonful in his

mouth. Of course, he burned his mouth, but in order not

to show this, he raised his head and looked at the ceiling.

“When did you have this ceiling put in?” he asked. “At the

same time that you burned your mouth,” replied the Hodja.

The idea of writing a poem once came into

Tamburlaine’s mind. He read the poem he wrote

to the Hodja and asked his opinion. When the

Hodja said he thought it was a bad poem, Tamburlaine

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had him shut up in the hay-barn. The next day he called

Nasreddin Hodja and read him the poem again. Before

Tamburlaine had time to ask him what he thought,

Nasreddin Hodja got up and started walking away. When

Tamburlaine asked him where he was going, he replied.

“To the hay-barn.”

One day Tamburlaine called all the viziers to him

and said that he would give half of his wealth to

the person who could embarrass Nasreddin

Hodja After thinking for a long time, the viziers invited

Nasreddin Hodja to the palace and, in Tamburlaine’s

presence, asked him to make half a cough. The Hodja

calmly took up a knife from the table, put it in his mouth,

and coughed. “There,” he said. “I’ve halved the cough. Take

whichever half you like.”

One day, the sultan announced that he would give

one hundred pieces of gold a month to whoever

could teach his beloved donkey to read and write

within the space of ten years. If the person were

unsuccessful, however, he would be beheaded. Noone

apart from Nasreddin Hodja accepted this task. When

they asked Nasreddin Hodja why he was willing to do it,

he replied, “Every month I’ll get one hundred gold coins.

In ten years’ time, either the sultan, or me, or the donkey

will be dead.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja met a man in the street.

The man said to him, “Sir, you seem to be a very

fussy person.” “How do you make that out? asked

the Hodja. ”From the way you dress,” said the man. This

time the Hodja said, “You seem to be a very stupid person.”

When the man asked him why he thought that, the Hodja

answered, “From the way you talk.”

Nasreddin Hodja once had two wives. The wives

pressed the Hodja to tell him which one he loved

most. Seeing there was no way out, the Hodja

secretly gave each of them a blue bead. When they were all

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sitting down together, the wives asked the Hodja the same

question. “Whichever I gave a blue bead to,” replied the

Hodja, evading the issue.

One day Nasreddin Hodja put a cloth over the

mouth of the bellows he was using to light a fire

with. When his wife asked him why he had done

that, he said, “You know how I hate waste. If I don’t cover

the mouth of the bellows, the air inside it will escape and

be blown away.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja went to marketplace

with his son riding on the donkey and he himself

walking beside it. One of the passers-by turned to

the child on the donkey and scolded him, saying, “Aren’t

you ashamed of yourself, letting your elderly father walk?”

The Hodja took the child down and mounted the donkey

himself. The next man they met scolded Nasreddin Hodja

saying, “You’re a grown man. Aren’t you ashamed of

yourself, making the child walk?” This time the Hodja got

off the donkey and continued on his way, walking together

with his son. Another man, seeing them like this, said,

“What a strange man you are! Noone’s riding the donkey

and yet you two are on foot.” At that, the Hodja turned to

his son and said, “Look, son, we can’t please anyone and

people keep on scolding us. There’s only one thing left to

do and that’s to let the donkey ride on our backs.”

Nasreddin Hodja one day fell down as he was

climbing the stairs in a hurry. Hearing the noise,

everyone rushed to ask the Hodja what had

happened. “My robe fell down,” said the Hodja “Would a

robe make all that noise?” they asked. “Don’t ask so many

questions. The robe had me inside of it,” he returned.

A neighbour who never paid his debts on time

came to Nasreddin Hodja one day and said, “I

need a bit of money. Will you give me a time-

loan?” “Look here, neighbour,” said the Hodja, “you want

not only a loan but time as well. I can’t give you both at

once. But I can give you as much time as you want.”

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Once Nasreddin Hodja lent someone some

money but never got it back. He went to the

debtor’s door and asked for a loan, saying, “Look

here, neighbour. I promise to pay you back the money in a

little while.” When the neighbour asked, “When will you

pay me back?” the Hodja said, “I’ve planted a bush by your

doorstep. In spring the bush will grow green and become

woody. The wool of the sheep that pass by your door will

get caught on the bush. Later, together with the wife, we’ll

collect the wool, spin it and sell it. The I’ll come and pay

you back your money.” The rogue began to smile a wry

smile. “You are happy when you see ready money, aren’t

you?” asked the Hodja.

152

Nasreddin had a neighbour who was always

borrowing money but seldom paid it back. One

day he came to Nasreddin Hodja and said, “I’ve a

favour to ask.” Realizing what he wanted, the Hodja

interrupted him, saying, “I’ve a favour to ask you,

neighbour.” “What’s that?” the neighbour asked. “Please

don’t ask me for a loan,” said the Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked how old he

was. When the Hodja replied, “I’m fifty,” his

friends protested, saying, “Is that right,? That’s

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what you said ten years ago.” Without turning a hair, the

Hodja replied, “Is that right? I gave my word on this ten

years ago. Am I going to go back on it, just to please you?”

One day as the Hodja was riding along on his

donkey, he met an acquaintance of his who was a

great tease. “Hodja,” said the man, “where are you

two friends going?” Seeing himself classed with a donkey, the

Hodja replied, “We were coming to meet you, my friend.”

Nasreddin Hodja bought some liver one day and

as he was going home met a friend of his who said

to him, “I’ll give you such a good recipe for liver

that you‘ll lick your fingers when you eat it.” Writing the

recipe down, he gave it to the Hodja. The Hodja was

reading it in the street when a black kite swooped down

and snatched the liver out of his hands. The Hodja called

after the kite, “I’ve got the recipe, I’ve got the recipe.”

One day three knowledgeable priests came to

Akşehir. Nasreddin Hodja was called for

immediately as it was thought only he could outwit

them. In order to test the priests asked, “Hodja, where is the

centre of the world?” Pointing to the ground with his stick,

“It’s here,” said the Hodja. “How do you know that?” asked

the priests. “If you don’t believe me, measure it,” was the

Hodja’s answer. Next, trying to confound the Hodja, the

priests asked, “How many stars are there in the sky?” “As

many as the hairs in the tail of my donkey,” replied the

Hodja. “Can you prove that?” they asked. “If you want to, you

can count them and see,” he said. The priests were silenced.

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “What’s the

secret of living a long and healthy life?” “Keep

your feet warm and your head cool; be relaxed

and don’t think deeply,” he replied.

One day Nasreddin Hodja was brought a letter

written in Farsi and asked to read it. As the Hodja

didn’t know Farsi, he said he couldn’t read the

154

letter. Then the owner of the letter turned on him, saying,

“Shame on you. Aren’t you embarrassed to be wearing

those robes of office?” Thereupon the Hodja took off his

turban and his robe and held them out to the man, saying,

“If that skill belongs to a turban and a robe, here you are!”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was talking with his

friends, one of whom was a chatterbox who never

stopped talking and never gave anyone else the

chance to speak. Seeing there was no stopping him, the

Hodja had a little snooze. Then the chatterbox turned to

Nasreddin Hodja and said, “Hodja, you haven’t once

opened your mouth.” Unable to restrain himself, the Hodja

replied, “Is that possible, brother? My jaw has almost split

in two with yawning in appreciation of your talk.”

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One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja,

how many furlongs does the earth, contain?”

Pointing to a funeral procession which was

passing, the Hodja said, “Look, there’s someone who’s

taken the measure of it. Go and ask him. He’s the only one

who can give you an answer.”

Nasreddin Hodja was at the barber’s one day

when a customer said to him, “It’s wonderful,

although your hair is grey, your beard is still black,

Why is that?” In answer the Hodja said, “My hair began to

grow before my beard so it’s older, that’s why.”

One day an impudent man said to Nasreddin

Hodja in order to cause him trouble, “Hodja,

when performing one’s ablutions, which way

should one face?” The Hodja replied, “Whichever way

your clothes are facing.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was carrying out his

duties as a judge, two men came to him. One of

them said, “Hodja, the other day I dreamed that I

gave a purse of jingling coins to this man and he doesn’t

pay it back. I want to file a complaint.” The other man

protested that he hadn’t been given any such loan. Seeing

there was nothing to be done, the Hodja put twenty akça

which he had taken from the debtor, put them in a bag,

jingled them in the ear of the complainant and said, “Here’s

your loan,” and gave the money back to its owner.

Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey went missing one day

and he went to the judge to ask him to find it. The

judge asked stupid questions such as, “When was

your donkey stolen? How was it stolen?” to which the

Hodja replied, “Judge! Sir! If i’d known these things would

I have come to you?”

Nasreddin Hodja was praised for being a man

who hit the mark. One day in order to test him, he

was given a bow and arrow and asked to shoot at

a target. The first shot went wide and the Hodja remarked,

156

“That’s the way the chief of police shoots.” His next shot

also missed and the Hodja again commented, saying,

“That’s the way his Honour the Judge shoots.” When the

next shot hit the bull’s eye, the Hodja, puffing his chest

out, said, “That’s the way Nasreddin Hodja shoots.”

In a dream Nasreddin Hodja was one day offered

a loan of 99 akça. The Hodja said, “Unless it’s a

hundred, I really can’t accept it.” When the

argument got heated, the Hodja woke up, and realizing he

was awake, shut his eyes again and said,’ “O.K., O.K. I

accept. Let it be 99 akça you give me. God who gives 99

will certainly give one more.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja went the marketplace

in another village and was walking around when

someone asked him what day of the week it was.

“Oh,” said the Hodja. “I’m a stranger here, you’d better ask

a local.”

A guest who came to Nasreddin Hodja from a

neighbouring village brought him a rabbit he had

snared on the way to his house. The Hodja

presented his guest with a stew he had made from the

rabbit he had brought. The next week another person

from that village came and saying,” I’m a relative of the

guest you had last week,” stayed with Nasreddin Hodja.

This time the Hodja made a pilaff to serve with the left-

over meat from the rabbit. A week later another of the

same man’s relatives came. This time the Hodja made a

soup from the remains of the rabbit and served it to him.

When, in the same way, another man came, the Hodja,

who had been patient up to then, could contain himself no

longer and burst out, asking, “Excuse me, friend, but I can

only give you the water from the pot the rabbit was cooked

in. Tell your friend, if there is another one, that the rabbit

is finished.”

In the course of a feast, Nasreddin Hodja was

asked whether he could play the saz or not. “I can,”

he said and took the saz in his hand. Putting a

157

plectrum on his finger, he began to pluck a single string.

“What kind of saz playing is this?” they asked. “Shouldn’t

you play it with your fingers at a higher pitch?” “This is the

way I play,” replied the Hodja. “Others strum their fingers

over the strings in order to find the pitch I am playing.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja went to Akşehir Lake

and began to do something with the ladle in his

hand. When asked what he was doing, he said,

“I’m trying to turn the lake into yoghurt,” he said. “Hodja,

can the lake be turned into yoghurt?” they asked

incredulously. “But what if it could...” replied the Hodja.

Nasreddin Hodja was forced one winter’s day to

take refuge in an old inn. That night, when the

northwest wind began to blow, the inn began to

creak increasingly loudly. Fearing that the inn would

collapse, the Hodja said to the inn keeper, “Sir, I hope to

God this han doesn’t collapse as it seems about to do.” The

Inn keeper replied, “Don’t be afaid, nothing will happen.

Don’t worry. The noises you here are the inn giving thanks

to God.” “That’s what I’m afraid of,” said the Hodja. “If the

building becomes overcome by its prayers or picks up its

prayer mat, what will we do then?”

Tamburlaine once gave every village an elephant to

feed. He sent one to Nasreddin Hodja’s village also.

The villagers fed it on whatever they had in hand.

Within a little while there was nothing left to give it. It was

an impossible situation so they decided to send a delegation

to Tamburlaine under the leadership of Nasreddin Hodja to

explain things and ask Tamburlaine to take back the

elephant. On the day appointed, the villagers fell in behind

the Hodja and set off. A little while later, in fear of

Tamburlaine, one by none they began to drop off. When

they got to Tamburlaine’s place the Hodja began, “My

Sultan, I and my companions...” when he realised that there

was no-one behind him and started again, “Don’t ask why,

my lord, but my companions are so happy to have a male

elephant that now they want a female one as well.”

158

Tamburlaine was delighted to hear this and sent the Hoidja

away, promising to carry out his suggestion. When the

Hodja got home, the villagers were curious and asked the

Hodja what had happened. “The good news is a female

elephant is arriving,” the Hodja told them.

One day a shepherd asked Nasreddin Hodja,

“Hodja, what happens to the moons when they

grow old?” “They are stretched and made into

streaks of lightning,” replied the Hodja.

Şeyyat Hamza, who was the miracle worker of

Nasreddin Hodja’s congregation, began to

describe how he often went up into the sky and

wanderd around the spheres. The Hodja could

not prevent himself from asking, “Sir, did your face ever

touch anything soft on your journeys through the sky?” In

order not to lose face, Şeyyat Hamza said, “Yes, it did,”

whereupon the Hodja exclaimed. “That was the tail of my

ass.”

One day the Hodja was faint from hunger and a

little while later collapsed on the ground, crying,

“I’m a dead man.” After he had remained there for

some time, he got up and went home where he said to his

wife, “I’m a dead man,” before going back to the place

where he had been lying. His wife called the neighbours

and told them the situation. One of them asked, “Well,

who told you the Hodja was dead?” “He came and told me

himself,” replied the wife. “Which of us poor people could

do that?”

Nasreddin Hodja one day got on his donkey and

as he was going to market met a rich man riding a

horse. In a disdainful tone, the man asked the

Hodja, “Hey, what’s it like to ride a donkey? Good, eh?”

The Hodja answered, “It’s better to be man riding a donkey

than a donkey riding a horse.”

A man came rushing up to the Hodja and panted,

“Your house is on fire, run quickly!” Unruffled, the

Hodja said, “Go and tell the wife that. I take care

159

of things outside the hosue and she takes care of things

inside so it’s none of my business.”

Nasreddin Hodja at one time used to carry a

scimitar stuck in his cummerbund. Seeing this,

his neighbours said, “Hodja, you are a learned

man. What business do you have carrying a sword?” In

answer the Hodja replied, “I cut out the mistakes I find in

books.” “When” they asked, “Hodja, wouldn’t a knife be

enough?” he replied, “Enough? There are so many mistakes

that sometimes an axe is needed rather than a sword.”

One day the Hodja stepped up on a stone in order

to mount his donkey but no sooner had he done

so than he fell to the ground. “Ah, youth! youth!”,

he muttered to himself as he picked himself up. Looking

around to see if anyone was near and seeing there was no-

one, he murmured, “Give up the wisecracks, I know what

you were like in your youth.”

One day thieves stole Nasreddin Hodja’s bag of

salted cheese. The Hodja quickly went to the

fountain and sat down to wait. When asked why

he was sitting there, the Hodja replied, “Don’t ask, thieves

stole my cheese. Whatever happens, they’ll get thirsty and

have to come to the fountain. I’m waiting here for them.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja brought two okkas of

liver home and asked his wife to cook it. While

the Hodja was out his wife cooked and ate all the

liver. When the Hodja came home and sat down

expectantly at the table, he saw that instead of liver there

was a pilaff of cracked wheat. He asked his wife, “Where’s

the liver?” “Oh,” she said, “the cat ran off with it.”

Immediately the Hodja picked up the cat and, putting it on

the scales, weighed it. It weighed exactly two okkas. On

seeing that, the Hodja turned to his wife and inquired, “If

this is what the cat weighs, where’s the liver?”

Nasreddin Hodja fell ill and the neighbouring

goodwives came to visit him. In the course of the

conversation, the Hodja was asked, “May God

160

give you a good life, but what should we mourn for when

you’re dead?” “He loved talking to women,” said the Hodja.

“Say that and weep.”

Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “Hodja, which is

more effective, the moon or the sun,?” The Hodja

replied, “The moon, of course. The sun rises in

the daytime when it’s light anyway. But the moon gives

birth to darkness and makes everywhere dark”.

One day when Nasreddin Hodja had mounted his

donkey backwards and was going on his way,

someone asked him, “Why do you get on your

donkey backwards?” “I got on the right way round. It’s the

donkey that’s back to front,” replied the Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja loaded his donkey with

watermelons to sell as he walked along the streets

calling,” Water Melo-o-o-ns” Suddenly the donkey

began to bray in unison with the Hodja’s call. “Either you

sell the watermelons or I do,” the Hodja remonstrated.

One day Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey went missing.

In the face of this, the Hodja continuously gave

thanks to God. When asked why he did this, the

Hodja answered. “What If I had been riding the donkey

and got lost too? What could I have done?”

One day Nasreddin Hodja and Tamburlaine were

engaged in conversation. Tamburlaine asked the

Hodja, “Hodja, how much am I worth?” “Fifty

akça, the Hodja replied. Tamburlaine, annoyed, said, “See

here, be more respectful. I’m a sultan. Even the robe I am

wearing is worth many times more than 50 akça.” Then the

Hodja replied, “That’s what I would give for your robe.”

Nasreddin Hodja was once visiting his neighbour.

Honey and clotted cream had been set out on the

table. When the Hodja started to eat these without

any bread, the neighbour remonstrated, saying, “Won’t the

honey give you heartburn?” “God only knows what makes

my heart burn,” replied the Hodja.

161

When Nasreddin Hodja was a child he was asked,

“Nasreddin, are you the elder or is it your

brother?” Nasreddin Hodja replied, “Last year my

mother told me my brother was a year older than me. This

year we’re both the same age.”

Nasreddin had two wives. The two wives put him

on a spot when they asked, “Which of us do you

love best?” The Hodja declared he loved both of

them. One day one of them asked him, “If we were boating

on the lake at Akşehir and the boat capsized, which one of

us would you save?” The Hodja turned to the elder one

and said, “You know how to swim, don’t you?”

One day Nasreddin Hodja was asked, “You’re a

learned man. Have you ever invented anything.”

“Yes,” answered the Hodja. “I invented snow

helva.” When they asked him, “Is there such a kind of helva?”

he replied, “Well, anyway, even I didn’t like it much.”

Nasreddin Hodja was one day walking around the

marketplace when a man asked him, “In which

direction should I turn to face Mecca?” The

Hodja, noticing that the market was full of thieves, said,

“The direction in which your bags are.”

Nasreddin Hodja was once performing his ritual

ablutions by the riverside. Just as he was finishing,

his shoe floated away down the river. Then the

Hodja ran swiftly along the bank, crying, “Take my

ablutions but give me back my shoe.”

One night thieves broke into Nasreddin Hodja’s

house. Poking him, his wife told him to get up and

see what was happening. He took no notice,

simply saying. “Go to sleep, wife. If they find anything in

the house, I’ll take it from them.”

Nasreddin Hodja was asked when the Day of

Judgement would come. “When the wife dies, the

Lesser Day of Judgment will come; when I die, the

lesser Day of Judgement will also come,” he replied.

162

One day at a discussion on music, Nasreddin

Hodja was asked, “Hodja, which kind of saz

sounds best to you?” He replied, “I love the saz

which sounds like pots and pans.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja came across a windmill

he had never seen before and asked the watchman.

“What do they call this?” “A water-mill” the

watchman mischievously replied. “Oh,” said the Hodja.”

“Where does the water come from?”

Nasreddin Hodja, in the days when he was very

poor, was going along the road when he saw

strangers in the distance. He immediately got off

his donkey and lay down on his back in the dust, pretending

to be dead. The strangers clustered round him and said to

each other, “Three hundred akça will be enough to have

this one washed and provide for a shroud. But if only we

could find a person to believe this and send him home.” As

they were talking in this way, the Hodja lifted his head and

said, “Don’t trouble yourselves. I‘m not so dead I can’t

carry someone for three hundred akça. Give me the

money and I’ll take him.”

One day as Nasreddin Hodja was walking around

the marketplace saying he wanted to taste the

produce, he ate handful after handful of the fruit

such as plums and peaches set out for sale. When they saw

what he was doing, one of the salesmen said, “This kind of

fruit should be eaten one by one,” “That’s what you think,”

retorted the Hodja. “It’s melons and watermelons that

should be eaten one by one.”

In Nasreddin Hodja’s village there was a huge

stone. Noone could budge it from its place. One

day it was announced that whoever could carry

the stone away would be given its weight in akça. Noone

accepted the challenge until the Hodja said, “I’ll do it but I

want the money in advance.” The money was collected and

given to him and Nasreddin Hodja sat down by the stone

and began to wait. “What are you waiting for?” they asked?

163

“Put it on my back so I can carry it away. That was the

bargain, wasn’t it?” was his answer.

One day Tamburlaine said he would give its

weight in gold to anyone who could teach his

donkey to read and write. If unsuccessful, the

person would be executed. When noone came forward,

the Hodja said, “I’ll do it.” The they brought the donkey to

him. Within a short time, saying he had taught the donkey

to read and write, the Hodja asked Tamburlaine for an

audience. Tamburlaine said, “Go ahead, Show us,” and put

a book in front of the donkey. The donkey, seeming to turn

the pages with its tongue, began to eat the barley hidden

between the pages. When it came to the page to be read,

there was no corn left between the pages and the donkey

began to bray. Surprised, Tamburlaine asked why the

donkey had begun to bray. “It has begun to pray,” was the

answer.

One night Nasreddin Hodja heard a knock on the

door at a very inconvenient hour. When the Hodja

called out, “Who’s there?” a voice replied, “A guest

of God.” Whereupon Nasreddin Hodja went outside and,

taking the troublesome man by the arm, led him to the

door of the mosque, saying, “You came to the wrong

house. Here you are, this is the house of God.”

One day as Nasreddin Hodja was walking around

the marketplace, someone said to him, “People

with long beards are short of common-sense.”

Taking this remark to heart, the Hodja went home and,

while trying to shorten his beard with the help of a candle-

flame, not only lost his whole beard but also singed his

face. The next week the Hodja ran across the same man

and said to him, “You were right, brother, I proved it.

People with long beards really are short of common

-sense.”

Nasreddin Hodja, who had lost his donkey, came

to the square and began to shout, “I’ll give the

saddle and bridle to whoever finds my donkey.”

164

Someone who heard this asked, “Hodja, what’s the good of

doing that? if you’ve given away the saddle and bridle what

does it matter if the donkey is found or not?” “Finding it

would be a good thing, wouldn’t it?” asked the Hodja.

One day Nasreddin Hodja went to the Turkish

bath wearing his old clothes. The bath attandants

paid him no notice. The Hodja was forced to use

an old tattered barh towel and wrapper. On leaving, he left

them a tip of ten akça. The next day, he went again to the

Turkish bath. The bath attendants showed him great

respect and gave him a new bath towel and wrapper. On

leaving the baths, the Hodja this time gave a tip of one

akça. When the bath attendants looked displeased, the

Hodja said, “The tip I gave today is for last week; the one I

gave last week is for today.”

One day Nasreddin Hodja made known his will:

“When I die, bury me upside down.” When asked

why, he replied, “On the Day of Judgment, everything

will be turned upside down. I just want to save trouble.”

Nasreddin Hodja’s wife one day made a tray of

baklava. That evening the Hodja ate half of this.

On going to bed, unable to get to sleep, he asked

his wife to bring the tray of baklava and ate what

was left of it. On being asked why he had done this, the

Hodja said to his wife, “Why do you ask? The problems of

the poor are those of the stomach. Now let’s go to sleep.”

A miserly man once fell into the river. Someone

on the shore stretched out a hand to him. “Give

me your hand,” he shouted, but even though the

other man was drowning, he did not take it.

Realizing the situation, the Hodja said, “Out of the way, my

friend! He doesn’t know the meaning of give, only of take.”

“Take my hand,” he called to the drowning man. The man

took it and climbed out of the river.

Another day Nasreddin Hodja had once again lost

his donkey. He began to look for his donkey, singing

a folk song as he did so. “Hodja, is that the way to

165

look for a donkey?” “they remonstrated but the Hodja said,’

Don’t worry about that. There’s hope behind that mountain.

If the donkey isn’t there, you will see how I can cry.”

Half of Nasreddin Hodja’s head was bald. One day

he went to the barber, had his hair cut and left a

payment of one akça. Some time passed and the

Hodja went to the same barber and had his hair cut again.

This time he walked out without leaving anything. When

the barber complained, the Hodja said, “My friend, half of

my head is bald. Half of the money I gave last time is for

today’s haircut. One akça pays for both.”

Nasreddin Hodja was walking round the

marketplace one day. It was very crowded so, in

order not to lose himself, he tied a string to his

back with a watermelon on the end of it. A joker seeing this

untied the string and tied it to another person without the

Hodja’s noticing. When the Hodja saw the man with the

watermelon behind him, he asked himself,” Well, if that’s

me, who am I?”

One day Nasreddin Hodja had a yearning for curd

soup and began to dream of a steaming plateful.

Just at that minute the son of a neighbour entered

with a bowl in his hands. “Hoca,” he said, “my father sent

me to ask if you had any hot curd soup to give him.” Then

the Hodja exclaimed, “Oh, my God! The neighbours have

begun to get wind of even my imaginary soup.”

Tamburlaine one day for a joke cut off the top lip

of Nasreddin Hodja’s horse. Noticing this, the

Hodja secretly cut off the tail of Tamburlaine’s

horse. When Tamburlaine asked the Hodja what his horse

was smiling about, the Hodja replied, “Your horse’s tail.”

One day when the Hodja’s companions were

sitting on the ground, they began to whispered

among themselves. “When the Hodja greets us,

let’s pretend not to notice and let’s see what he does.” The

Hodja came and greeted them but his friends, just as if he

166

wasn’t there, made no reply. Seeing this the Hodja spread

open his hands and said, “In the name of Almighty God,

let us pray for the spirits of the dead.”

In the course of conversation one day Nasreddin

Hodja remarked, “The sky at Akşehir is the same as

that at Sivrihisar.” When asked what he meant, he

said, “The moon and the stars are the same in both places.”

When Nasreddin Hodja was a child, someone

pointed to his father who was passing by and

asked who he was. “The husband of my maternal

uncle’s sister,” he replied.

One day when Nasreddin Hodja was walking

round the cemetery, his foot slipped and he fell

into an empty tomb. As he was stretching himself

out trying to imagine what it would be like to be a corpse,

he heard a noise from the road and raised his head. The

donkeys belonging to some potters who were passing by

were started by his sudden appearance and the cups they

were carrying were shattered to pieces. This was the

potters wealth so they collared Nasreddin Hodja and

asked him what he thought he was doing. When the Hodja

replied, “I’m an alien from another world and I’m on my

travels round this one,” the potters gave him a good

beating. The Hodja returned home in a woeful condition.

When his wife asked what had happened, he said, “Be

quiet, woman. I’ve come from the other world.” “The wife

wittily asked him,” “Oh, what is there and what’s not there

in the other world?” The Hodja answered, “If you don’t

startle the potters’ donkeys there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

One day, when Nasreddin Hodja was planting his

field, he said, “This half is for me and that half is

for God.” A little while later, the half belonging to

God was beautified with huge watermelons and bright

yellow melons, whereas in his half nothing had come up.

The Hodja picked two melons from the part sown for God.

No sooner had he done so than thunder rolled and

lightning flashed. The Hodja let the melons in his hand fall

167

to the ground and exclaimed. “Oh God, was there a need

for all that? It was only two melons.”

The Hodja’s mischievous friends came to him one

day and said,” Your donkey has become the judge

of such-and-such a place.” “It was obvious that

would happen. Whenever I gave a sermon, it used to prick

up its ears and shake its head,” he said.

Nasreddin Hodja was asked why he always had a

smiling face. The Hodja replied, “Other people came

into the world crying, I came laughing. And anyway,

we’re all visitors to this world. Do people ever cry when they

come to visit ? We should smile, shouldn’t we?”

Nasreddin was asked, “Nasreddin Hodja, why did

God create you?” “Because if he hadn’t, the world

would have drowned in tears,” he answered.

A teacher was describing how developed

technology had become, saying that there was

even a machine which could make spicy

sausages as long as the road from one end of the village

to the other. Little Nasreddin Hodja, curious, asked,

“That’s very good, sir. If we put sausage in the machine

at one end would it come out as a sheep at the other?”

168

169

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Özdemir, Nebi, 2010 b; “Bilgeler Bilgesi Nasreddin Hoca”

(Röportaj), Eskiyeni, Eskişehir Valiliği Pub., Eskişehir, pp 22,

pp 116-121.

Sakaoğlu, S. ve A. B. Alptekin, 2009, Nasreddin Hoca, Atatürk

Kültür Merkezi Pub., Ankara.

Şakacı, Figen, 2007 (3. Baskı), Mizah Zekanın Zekatıdır, “Tarık

Minkari Kitabı”, (Lecture) Türkiye İş Bankası Pub., Ist.

Seratlı, Tahir Galip, 2004, Mizahın Üç Ustası: Nasreddin

Hoca, İncili Çavuş, Bekri Mustafa, Selis Books, Istanbul: pp

67-68.

Tan, Nail, 2007a, Derlemeler Makaleler 2/ Anonim Edebiyat,

Ankara: pp 56-69.

Tan, Nail, 2007 b, Derlemeler Makaleler 4/ Halk Gülmecesi

(Mizah) Halk Tiyatrosu, Ankara: pp 26-27.

172

Tör, Nükhet, 1991, “Nasreddin Hoca’nın Hayatı ve Eğiticiliği”:

Nasreddin Hodja Symposium Information on the Ideas and

Philosophy of Nasreddin Hodja Konya Valiliği Pub., Konya: pp

24-30.

Türkmen, Fikret, 1996, “Mizahta Üstünlük Teorisi ve

Nasreddin Hoca Fıkraları”, Türk Kültürü, pp.403: 649- 655.

Usta, Çiğdem, 2005, Mizah Dilinin Gizemi, Akçağ Pub.,

Ankara.

Ünver, Süheyl, 1944, Kadıköy’üne Unvanı Verilen Hızır Bey

Çelebi, Hayatı ve Eserleri (1407- 1459), Istanbul.

Yağmur, Oraz, 2010, Gül ki Derman Gülme İlacı, Kıbrıs Türk

Yazarlar Birliği Pub., Lefkoşe.

Yıldırım, Dursun, 1999 (2. Baskı), Türk Edebiyatında Bektaşi

Fıkraları, Akçağ Pub., Ankara.

Yıldırım, Dursun, 2008, Nasreddin Hoca Fıkralarından

Seçmeler, MEB Pub., Ankara.

Ziya Gökalp, 1972, Halk Klasikleri I/ Nasreddin Hoca,

(adapted into the new system of writing: A. Hayati Avşar),

Diyarbakır.

www.aksehir.bel.tr

www.konya.gov.tr

www.kultur.gov.tr

www.berlin.be.mfa.gov.tr

Fifty Nasreddin Hodja Stories

Yıldıray Erdener

2009

��������� � ���

Fifty Nasreddin Hodja Stories Copyright © 2009 by McNeil Technologies, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from the copyright owner. All inquiries should be directed to: Dunwoody Press 6525 Belcrest Rd., Suite 460 Hyattsville, MD 20782, U.S.A. ISBN: 978-1-931546-59-1 Library of Congress Control Number: 2009924464 Printed and bound in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments .................................................................................................... i Introduction .............................................................................................................iii References and Selected Bibliography ................................................................. vii A Few Suggestions to Students of Turkish ........................................................... ix

I. Kamusal Alanlarda Dolaşan Hoca 1. Huysuz At ........................................................................................................ 2 2. Tabutun Neresinde? ......................................................................................... 6 3. Eski Ay ............................................................................................................. 8 4. Dünyanın Dengesi ......................................................................................... 10 5. “Eğer Keramet Kavuktaysa” ......................................................................... 12 6. “Deliyiz Dedikse Zırdeli Değiliz” ................................................................. 14 7. “Parayı Veren Düdüğü Çalar” ....................................................................... 16 8. “Düşeceğimi Bildin Öleceğimi de Bilirsin” ................................................. 20 9. “Boşuna Sevinme!” ....................................................................................... 24 10. Sandık-Mandık .............................................................................................. 28 11. İki Haftalık Hamallık Ücreti .......................................................................... 30 12. “Ye Kürküm Ye!” .......................................................................................... 34 13. Hodja ve Tellaklar ......................................................................................... 38 14. “Vallahi Sen de Haklısın” ............................................................................. 42 15. Sokakta Leblebi Yiyen Hoca ........................................................................ 46 16. Hoca’nın Düşünen Hindisi ............................................................................ 50 17. Sadaka İsteyen Dilenci .................................................................................. 54 18. Çalacak bir şey Bulamayan Hırsız ................................................................ 56

II. Hodja ve Komşulari

19. Başı Ağıran Komşu ....................................................................................... 58 20. Eşeğin Sözüne İnanan Komşu ...................................................................... 62 21. Sana ne?.......................................................................................................... 64 22. Tencere Doğuran Kazan ................................................................................ 66 23. “Hırsızın Hiç mi Suçu Yok?” ........................................................................ 70 24. “Doksan Dokuzu Veren Allah Yüzü de Verir” ............................................ 74

III. Hoca Ve Arkadaşları

25. “Erkek Olan Sözünden Dönmez” ................................................................. 78 26. Kafa Şişiren Hoca .......................................................................................... 80 27. Balık Başı Yiyen Akıllı Olur ......................................................................... 84

IV. Hodja Ve Eşleri

28. “Kime Görüneyim Kime Görünmeyeyim?” ................................................ 88 29. Hoca’nın İki Eşi ............................................................................................. 92 30. “Mavi Boncuk Kimdeyse Benim Gönlüm Ondadır” ................................... 94 31. “Düğün Evinden Geldiğin Günleri de Bilirim” ............................................ 98

32. “Annen Öldü ama sen hala Hayattasın” ..................................................... 100 33. “İçinde Ben de Vardım” ............................................................................. 104 34. “Yorgan Gitti Kavga Bitti” ......................................................................... 108 35. “Bu Kediyse et Nerede?” ............................................................................ 110 36. Karga Daha Kirli ......................................................................................... 114 37. Ölüm Döşeğindeki Hoca ............................................................................ 118 38. “Zavallı Hoca’nın kimi var?” ..................................................................... 122

V. Hodja ve Eşeği 39. Eşeğini Kaybeden Hoca .............................................................................. 126 40. “Aklın Varsa Göle Koş” ............................................................................. 128 41. Hoca’nın Heybesi ........................................................................................ 132 42. Hoca’nın Aksi Eşeği ................................................................................... 134

VI. Hoca ve Timurlenk 43. Peştamal ....................................................................................................... 138 44. Tek Ayaklı Kazlar ....................................................................................... 142

VII. Hoca’nin İlginç Yorumları 45. “Çok Zahmet Çektim ama ay da Yerine Geldi” ........................................ 146 46. “Allahım Sana Çok Şükür” ........................................................................ 150

VIII. Uzun Hoca Fikralari 47. “Halkın Dilinden Kurtulabilene Aşk Olsun” ............................................. 154 48. Tavşanın Suyunun Suyu ............................................................................. 158 49. “İnanmazsan Ölçte Bak” ............................................................................. 162 50. Mum Ateşiyle Pişecek Olan Yemek .......................................................... 166

Translations

1. A bad tempered horse ................................................................................. 173 2. Which side of the coffin? ............................................................................ 173 3. The old moon .............................................................................................. 173 4. The balance of the world ............................................................................. 173 5. If the miracle is in the turban ...................................................................... 173 6. “I said I’m crazy but I’m not a complete idiot” ......................................... 174 7. The one who pays in advance plays the whistle ........................................ 174 8. You knew that I’d fall down so you must know when I’ll die .................. 174 9. You’re happy in vain................................................................................... 174 10. Sandık-Mandık ............................................................................................ 175 11. Porter’s fee for two weeks .......................................................................... 175 12. “Eat my fur, eat” .......................................................................................... 175 13. The Hodja and the bath attendants ............................................................. 176 14. “For God’s sake, you are also right” .......................................................... 176 15. The Hodja who was eating chickpeas on the street ................................... 176 16. The Hodja’s turkey that thinks ................................................................... 177

17. The beggar who wanted alms ...................................................................... 177 18. The thief who didn’t find anything to steal ................................................. 177 19. The neighbor who had a headache .............................................................. 177 20. The neighbor who believed the donkey ...................................................... 178 21. This is none of your business ...................................................................... 178 22. The big pot which gave birth to a sauce pan .............................................. 178 23. Isn’t the robber at fault at all? ...................................................................... 178 24. The God who gave ninety-nine would also give one hundred .................. 179 25. A manly man doesn’t go back on his word ................................................ 179 26. The Hodja who made his friends tired of unpleasant sounds .................... 179 27. The one who eats the head of a fish becomes smarter ............................... 179 28. When may I show myself and when should I remain covered? ................ 180 29. The Hodja’s two wives ................................................................................ 180 30. I love the one with the blue bead the most.................................................. 180 31. You also look like this when you come home from a wedding ................ 181 32. Your mother died but you’re still alive ....................................................... 181 33. I was also inside the robe ............................................................................. 181 34. Our quilt is gone and the fight has ended ................................................... 181 35. If this is the cat where’s the meat? .............................................................. 182 36. The crow is dirtier ........................................................................................ 182 37. The Hodja who’s on his deathbed ............................................................... 182 38. The Hodja had no one who could run home .............................................. 182 39. The Hodja who lost his donkey ................................................................... 183 40. If you have any brains run to the lake ......................................................... 183 41. The Hodja’s saddle bag ............................................................................... 183 42. I wanted to show you how much I suffer ................................................... 183 43. Bath Towel ................................................................................................... 184 44. One legged geese ......................................................................................... 184 45. At least I put the moon back in its place ..................................................... 184 46. “Thank God, do things as you do” .............................................................. 185 47. Do what you consider right ......................................................................... 185 48. The broth of the broth of the hare ............................................................... 185 49. Where is the center of the world ................................................................. 186 50. Dinner will be cooked by candle fire .......................................................... 187

Glossary............................................................................................ 189

i

Acknowledgments This book was written over a long period of time. I first started using the Hodja stories in the classroom when I was an Associate Instructor for Turkish at Indiana University in 1978, and later at the University of California at Berkeley, and still later at the University of Texas at Austin. I am deeply grateful to all of the students who gave me an opportunity to experiment with my ideas on how to best present the stories in a book. I would also like to thank my daughter Jasmine Erdener, who studied Turkish with me for three years and helped me to understand American students’ perceptions of the Hodja’s humor. I am particularly grateful for the help of my former teaching assistant Mehmet Darakçıoğlu, who collected some stories from the Turkish community in Austin, and assisted with various stages in the preparation of the manuscript. Çiğdem Sağır illustrated some of the Hodja stories and I am grateful to her. Finally, my deepest thanks go to my wife Martha Norkunas, for her editorial suggestions and her ongoing encouragement to finish the manuscript.

iii

Introduction We are not sure exactly when the Hodja was born, or where. Some historical sources indicate that he was born in Central Anatolia in 1206 in the village of Hortu near Sivrihisar, a town in the province of Eskişehir. The name Hortu has been changed to “the village of Nasreddin Hodja.” He was buried in 1284 in Akşehir (Önder 1996:245-246) where today there are several statues of him. There is also a mausoleum that has a huge padlock hanging on the iron entry gate although it has no walls. An International Hodja Festival takes place every year in Akşehir from July 5th to July 10th.

The Hodja stories* are very popular because they embody the wisdom of powerless people who face social and economic injustice on a daily basis. His stories challenge the social and political order. They have a timeless quality because they address so many aspects of people’s personal and social lives. Hodja’s wit makes everyone aware of the multiple realities found in social situations. During the Ottoman Empire these stories were told in caravanserais and coffee houses along the Silkroad to China and India. They spread among the Turkic peoples of Central Asia, in areas such as Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and Kazakistan. His stories circulated in the Arab world from Egypt to Algeria to Morocco. After the First World War Greek and Armenian immigrants brought his stories to America; more recently Turkish guest laborers brought them to Europe.

Initially these stories were created by the Hodja but later the people of Anatolia began to invent and modify the stories. This process has continued for over six hundred years. A large collection of orally circulated stories has been attributed to him and there are over 10,000 Hodja stories in written sources (Bozyiğit 1996: 244). These stories portray him as a poor preacher (Hodja) in a small town. In some stories we see him acting as a kadı, or judge (Vallahi sen de Haklısın, no. 14). As he is poor he is willing to take any job to support his family. In one story a burglar finds the Hodja hiding in the closet and asks him what he is doing there. The Hodja says that he is ashamed to face him because there is nothing of value to steal in his house (Çalacak bir şey Bulamayan Hırsız, no. 18).

When it is cold he gathers sticks to heat his home. One day he collects bunches of wet and dry sticks and loads them on his beloved donkey. On the way home he wants to see if the wet sticks will burn as well as the dry ones. When he tries to burn a wet stick the whole pile catches fire and his donkey begins running away while braying. The Hodja cries out, “If you have any *Pertev Naili Boratav, Nasreddin Hoca. Istanbul: Yapı Kredi Bankası Yayınları, 1955; Charles Downing,Tales of the Hodja. London: Oxford University Press, 1964; Barnham, H. Dudley, The Khoja: Tales of Nasr-ed-din. New York: Appleton, 1924; A. Refik Gür, Nasreddin Hoca’nın Nükte Mensurundan Işıklar. İstanbul: Celtut Matbaası, 1959; Talat Halman, The Tales of Nasreddin Hodja, told by Aziz Nesin. Istanbul: Dost Publications, 1988; Orhan Veli Kanık, Nasreddin Hoca Hikayeleri. İstanbul: Doğan Kardeş Yayınları, 1949.

iv

brains run to the lake” (Aklın varsa Göle Koş, no. 40). To provide food for his family the Hodja commits petty theft. He steals fruit and vegetables from the neighbor’s garden or steals wheat while waiting for his turn at the mill. When the miller sees him taking handfuls of wheat from other sacks and putting them in his own he yells at the Hodja. To save face he pretends to be stupid and responds by saying, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a crazy man.” The miller says, “If you’re crazy why don’t you take wheat from your own sack and put it into others’ sacks?” The Hodja replies, “When I said I’m crazy I didn’t mean that I’m a complete idiot.” (Deliyiz Dedikse Zırdeli Değiliz, no. 6). In another story when his neighbor’s coffin is being taken out of his house his wife sobs, saying, “Oh, dear husband the place where you are going has neither food, nor water nor heat.” Hearing this, the Hodja tells his friends that they probably are taking the neighbor’s coffin to his house (Başgöz 1998:35).

The Hodja interacts with people from all social classes. As he is a well-known and respected public figure his advice is often solicited on the street. One day a man on the street asks him what happens to the old moon when the new moon appears. The Hodja says that they clip the old moon into small pieces and make stars out of it (Eski Ay, no. 3). Another man wants to know where to walk when taking a coffin to the cemetery. He asks, “Should one walk on the right or the left side of the coffin?” The Hodja replies, “As long as you are not in the coffin it really doesn’t matter where you walk.” On another occasion when someone on the street asks him why people go in different directions every morning the Hodja knows the reason: “If everyone goes in the same direction this would throw off the balance of the world” (Dünyanın Dengesi, no. 4).

In some stories the Hodja acts and says utterly foolish things. It seems as though he wants to fool his neighbors and the people he interacts with in public places. One day his neighbor wants to borrow his donkey but the Hodja doesn’t want to lend him the animal. He says that his donkey is not in the barn. Unfortunately at that moment his donkey starts braying loudly. When his neighbor accuses him of lying the Hodja asks him angrily, “What kind of strange man are you? You believe the donkey’s word over mine?” (Eşeğin Sözüne İnanan Komşu, no. 20). When another neighbor complains about his headache the Hodja immediately offers him a quick solution: “The other day I had a toothache but it went away as soon as I had the tooth pulled out” (Başı Ağıran Komşu, no. 19).

Hodja’s best friend seems to be his donkey. He goes everywhere with the donkey: to the market, to buy and sell things, and to carry things home. On one occasion he lost his beloved friend but kept thanking God while he looked for his donkey. When asked why he was thanking God he said: “If I were on the back of my donkey I would have gotten lost with him” (Eşeğini Kaybeden Hoca, no. 39).

v

In some stories he questions divine justice. One day when he was eating roasted chickpeas on the street some children approached him and asked for some chickpeas. The Hodja said, “How do you want me to give the chickpeas-like God or like people?” The children replied, “God’s way.” He then gave lots of chickpeas to some children, just a few to others, and nothing to the remaining children. When the children protested that this was not a fair way of distributing the chickpeas the Hodja insisted that God would have distributed them in exactly the same way. He then turned his face to the sky and said, “Believe me, I didn’t say anything to these children but as you see even they don’t like your justice.” (Sokakta Leblebi Yiyen Hoca, no. 15).

Two stories in the book indicate that the Hodja practiced polygamy. His wives always compete for his love and attention. Sometimes they ask difficult questions but the Hodja always has an answer to save face. One day his two wives ask him whom he loves the most. He says, “I love both of you” but the younger, prettier wife wants to hear a definite answer. She asks, “If the three of us were in a boat on Lake Akşehir, and your other wife and I fell from the boat at the same time, which one of us would you save first?” After a short hesitation he turns to the older wife and says, “You know how to swim a little, don’t you?” (Hoca’nın İki Eşi, no. 29). In another story the Hodja calls one of his wives to his side and gives her a blue bead: “This bead shows that I love you more than anyone else.” The next day he calls his second wife to his side, gives her another blue bead and tells her exactly the same thing. It happens that his wives have a fight and want to know which one the Hodja loves the most. Without much hesitation he says, “Whoever has the blue bead, I love her the most.” (Mavi Boncuk Kimdeyse Benim Gönlüm Ondadır, no. 30). In another story the Hodja sees his wife’s face for the first time on their wedding night and realizes how unattractive she is. Since Islamic law forbids a woman to show herself to men who are not close relatives, before leaving home the wife asks the Hodja, “Hodja Efend: when may I show myself and when should I remain covered?” The Hodja replies, “Show yourself to anyone but me.” (Kime Görüneyim Kime Görünmeyeyim? no. 28).

A large number of stories describe Hodja’s dealing with Tamerlane (1336-1405), the Tartar Conqueror who extended his borders from the Mediterranean in the West, to India in the South, and to Russia in the North. He defeated the Ottoman Sultan Bayazıd in 1402. If we assume that the Hodja lived in the thirteenth century, possibly between 1206-1284 and Tamerlane was born in 1336, fifty-two years after the death of the Hodja, then the two could never have interacted. According to one source* stories about Mongolian Prince Keygatu were later attributed to Tamerlane (Peştamal, and Tek ayaklı Kazlar nos. 43, 44).

* http://www.ozturkler.com/data_english/0004/0004_146.htm

vi

In the following story, the Hodja would never have been able to insult Tamerlane, even indirectly, which indicates that he was likely talking to Prince Keygatu. In the story of Peştamal the Hodja and Tamerlane or Prince Keygatu are chatting in a public bath. As is the custom, they each have an inexpensive, thin towel rapped around their lower torsos. “Tell me Hodja, if I were a slave what would you estimate my value to be?” asks Tamerlane (Prince Keygatu). The Hodja casts a furtive glance at him and says, “The most you would bring would be fifteen akçe (small silver coins). Annoyed with the Hodja’s answer he says that the thin towel around his torso is worth fifteen akçe. The Hodja’s reply reflects his assessment that only the towel, not Tamerlane, has value: “I estimated fifteen akçe for the bath towel anyway.”

Some of the punch lines in the Hodja stories became proverbial expressions. Since everyone in Turkey is familiar with his stories, people often make reference to a punch line without telling the whole story. For example, if someone judges others solely by their appearance one might hear, “ye kürküm ye” (eat, my fur, eat). One day when the Hodja was invited to a feast he arrived in shabby clothes. Nobody paid any attention to him. He slipped out, went home, and returned in his best fur coat. As soon as he entered he was overwhelmed with compliments and given the best seat at the dining table. Smiling he dipped the tip of his fur coat into the dishes and tried to feed his coat by saying, “Eat, my fur coat, eat.” When asked what he was doing he replied that nobody noticed him in his shabby clothes but in his fancy fur coat he received overwhelming hospitality. He said that the respect was not for him but for his coat. “Therefore, I am inviting my coat to partake of these delicious foods” (Ye Kürküm Ye, no. 12). There are other stories whose punch lines became proverbs over time, such as Yorgan Gitti Kavga Bitti (the quilt is gone and the fight ended), no. 34, Parayı Veren Düdüğü Çalar, (whoever pays in advance will play the whistle) no. 7, and Tavşanın Suyunun Suyu, (the broth of the broth of the hare) no. 48.

In summary, his stories are the voice of the common people in response to their political, religious, social, and economic conditions. Although the stories are observations that represent the cultural wit and wisdom of the Turkish people most of them point to universally shared and honored ideas and values. By becoming familiar with a few Hodja stories students of Turkish can learn both the language and something about the worldview of Turkish people. They can also learn about political, religious, and economic systems, and how people lived in Anatolia in the thirteenth century.

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References and Selected Bibliography Baker, Augusta, Storytelling: Art and Technique. New York: Baker, 1987. Başgöz, İlhan and Pertev Boratav, I, Nasreddin, Never Shall Die.

Bloomington, Indiana: Indiana University Turkish Studies Series, 18, 1998.

Boratav, Pertev Naili, Nasreddin Hoca. Istanbul: Yapı Kredi Bankası Yayınları, 1995.

Bozyiğit, Esat, “Türkiye’nin Dünya Elçisi Nasreddin Hoca” in Nasreddin Hoca’nın Dünyası. Ankara: Tisamat Basım Sanayii, 1996, pp. 243-244.

Breneman, Lucielle N., Bren Breneman, Once Upon a Time: A Storytelling Handbook. Chicago: Nelson-Hall, c1983.

Cassady March, Storytelling Step by Step. San Jose: Resource Publications, 1990.

Colwell, Eillen, Storytelling. London: The Bodley Head, 1980. Downing, Charles, Tales of the Hodja. London: Oxford University Press,

1964. Dudley, Barnham H., The Khoja: Tales of Nasr-ed-din. New York: Appleton,

1924. Farrell, Catharine Horne, Word Weaving: A Guide to Storytelling. San

Francisco: Zellerbach Family Fund, c1983. Halman, Talat, The Tales of Nasreddin Hodja, told by Aziz Nesin. Istanbul:

Dost Yayınları, 1988. Kanık, Orhan Veli, Nasreddin Hoca Hikayeleri. İstanbul: Doğan Kardeş

Yayınları, 1949. Lord, Albert, Epic Singers and Oral Tradition. Ithaca: Cornell University

Press, 1991. Önder Mehmet, “Nasredin Hoca’nın Kızlarına ait iki Mezar Taşı” in

Nasreddin Hoca’nın Dünyası. Ankara: Tisamat Basım Sanayii, 1996, pp. 245-246.

Ong, Walter, Orality and Literacy: The Technologizing of the World. New York: Methuen, 1982.

Zumthor Paul, Oral Poetry. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1990.

ix

A Few Suggestions to Students of Turkish We know that children acquire their mother tongue by listening to a sound unit many times before attempting to imitate it. Although there are differences between adult students who learn a second language and children who learn their first language I suggest that students should experiment with the same model to learn the Hodja stories. The student should first become familiar with the vocabulary of a given story, then listen to it several times. The third step would be to retell the story and then open the book and read it. Finally the student should do the writing exercises. In other words, this book intends to improve students’ listening comprehension so they can understand utterances about general topics and social conversations. Listening and retelling the Hodja stories may help students to gain self-confidence; some even may gain a sense of having mastered spoken Turkish.

One can say that the stories are not for one’s eyes but for one’s ears because listening is at the heart of our daily interaction and for centuries the Hodja stories were heard rather than read. They have been handed down from generation to generation by word of mouth and rarely by the written word. People told and retold the stories to entertain, and to teach proper conduct and morals. Following the oral tradition I suggest that students should therefore emphasize listening to the stories rather than reading them.

In recent years language instructors have increasingly emphasized the importance of listening comprehension. This has been a challenge for Turkish because we do not have many good supplementary listening materials like the more commonly taught languages. The Hodja stories, however, can be used as good supplementary material because they are funny, lively and full of cultural references.

The book contains fifty stories. Following each story there are vocabulary words, and comprehension questions that refer back to the text and verify students’ understanding of the story. There are also translation exercises, word order, forming questions, true-false questions about the text, and a fill in the blank section.

x

The language of the Hodja stories is conventional and repetitive. Most stories have a simple, predictable structure. The short introduction always begins with, “One day the Hodja…” which establishes the setting and answers the questions of who, when, and where. Then comes the incident which presents the event: one day Hodja was taking his donkey to the market to sell. Next a dialogue takes place between the Hodja and other people such as his friends, wives, neighbors or common people at public places, such as the market. The story develops with a series of events, and builds to the punch line: while the Hodja is showing his donkey to potential buyers his donkey bites and kicks him. When one of the buyers says, “You cannot sell this peevish animal” the Hodja delivers his punch line: “I really didn’t bring this animal to the market to sell but rather I wanted to show you how much I suffer because he is so ill-tempered” (Hoca’nın Aksi Eşeği, no. 42).

I. Kamusal Alanlarda Dolaşan Hoca

2

1. Huysuz At Bir gün Hoca huysuz bir ata binmiş. At dört nala koşarken1 Hoca attan düşmemeye çalışıyormuş. Yoldan geçen ve Hoca’nın bu halini gören bir tanıdığı: –”Hocam böyle dört nala nereye gidiyorsun?” diye2 sorunca3, Hoca: –”Atın istediği yere,” diye cevap vermiş.

Sözcükler huysuz: bad-tempered -(y) E binmek: to ride a horse,

bike, plane -(y) E çalışmak: to try

tanıdık: acquaintance nal: horseshoe dört nala gitmek/koşmak: to go at a

full gallop

Notlar 1. koşarken, “-ken” (iken) is attached to the verb stem and commonly used

after the aorist base. It conveys the meaning of “while” or “when”. The suffix “-ken” does not follow the vowel harmony.

2. diye is an adverbial form of “demek.” “Diye” introduces direct quotations: “...nereye gidiyorsun?” diye sordu. The sentence can be translated into English: “Where are you going” saying s/he asked.

3. sorunca is an adverbial form of the verb “sormak.” The suffix –(y)IncE is added to the verb root to form an adverb which means “when” or “upon.” The subject may differ from that of the main verb: Deniz eve gelince Ali ona telefon etti. The suffix –IncE follows the vowel harmony.

Sorular a. Hoca’nın neden huysuz bir ata bindiğini biliyor musunuz? b. Hoca atın sırtında rahat mıydı acaba? c. Hoca dört nala nereye gidiyor?

Çeviri a. At dört nala koşarken Hoca attan düşmemeye çalışıyormuş. b. “Hocam böyle dört nala nereye gidiyorsun?”

I. Kamusal Alanlarda Dolaşan Hoca

3

Sözdizimi a. istediği gidiyorum atın yere b. bir Hoca gün binmiş bir huysuz ata

Soru cümlesi kurun a. _________________________________________________________?

Yoldan geçen bir tanıdığı sormuş.

Sözdizimi a. istediği gidiyorum atın yere b. bir Hoca gün binmiş bir huysuz ata

Soru cümlesi kurun a. _________________________________________________________?

Yoldan geçen bir tanıdığı sormuş.

I. Kamusal Alanlarda Dolaşan Hoca

4

Doğru mu yanlış mı? a. Huysuz at beş nala gidiyormuş. b. Hoca tanıdığına atın istediği yere gitmek istemediğini söylemiş.

Lütfen boşlukları doldurun Bir gün Hoca ________ bir ata binmiş. At dört nala koşar___ Hoca attan düşmeme__ çalışıyormuş. Yoldan geç__ ve Hoca’nın bu halini gör__ bir tanıdığı: –”Hocam böyle dört nala nere__ gidiyorsun?”diye sor_____, Hoca: –”Atın iste____ yere,” diye cevap vermiş.

ERDİNÇ BABACAN He was born in the town of Torul in Gümüşhane in 1940. He completed his primary and secondary education in this town. Then he continued his education in Istanbul. In 1958, he graduated from Istanbul Beyoğlu Commercial School and in 1962, Istanbul Academy of Economics and Commerce, the Department of Industrial Management. He has compiled these anecdotes as a special work becoming aware of the fact that anecdotes concerning Nasreddin Hodja have been told wrong even by those who are expected to be the most sensitive.

Nasreddin Hocafıkraları

Müellif Erdinç Babacan

İngilizceye çeviren

D. Bilgen Gömleksiz

Dizgi Erdinç Babacan

Tashih

D. Bilgen Gömleksiz

Baskı – Cilt Ravza Yayıncılık ve Matbaacılık

25 Ocak 2010

ISBN 978-975-00723-2-1

All rights reserved. This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any from or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Yayımcı ERDİNÇ BABACAN

Tlf.0216. 378 07 37 – 0536.939 04 50 Orhanlı Caddesi N0.28 Kurtköy/Pendik/İstanbul

erdincbabacan@babacanmineral.com

Nasreddin Hodja He was born in the village of Hortu in Sivrihisar in 1208 and died in Akşehir in 1284. His tomb is in Akşehir. He was first educated by his father Abdullah Effendi, who was the imam of the village he was born in. Then he studied at Sivrihisar and Konya Madrasahs (old Moslem schools). After he finished his education, he worked as an imam in his village in place of his father. Besides that he worked as an assistant cadi and a madrasah teacher, and learnt sufism from Seyyid Mohammed Hayrani. Nasreddin Hodja was a saint who devoted his life to showing people the right path, telling them what’s good, leading them to the truth, and advising them to avoid evil-doing. When he was doing this, he used a method of his own. He used to tell what was right; and in order to amend the corrupt sides of society, he used to explain the matter briefly making quite allusive jokes and using a language which the public could understand easily. Each of his banters is like a proverb full of wisdom and morality. In this respect, it is obvious that some jokes that are dull and indecent, but are assumed to be Nasreddin Hodja’s jokes, do not in fact belong to him. It is clear that a person who was both a scholar and a saint did not tell such simple and ordinary jokes. Researches demonstrate that Nasreddin Hodja is not a legendary figure, but a devout Moslem who lived in the Seljukian times in the 13th century.

PREFACE: We wanted to present the jokes of our Nasreddin Hodja, who is one of the distinguished personalities of Turkish art of humour lived in the 13th century, to the individual taste and interest of English speaking world citizens. We translated this book into English considering that cultural heritage is universal. We hope it will be beneficial to the reader. We excluded the jokes which have been among the ones that are extant as they have always been told by the public, but are unfavorable and inconsistent with Nasreddin Hodja’s personality. We hope you will like these humorous anecdotes that have made us both laugh and think for 750 years. If you give this book, which you can buy when you go sightseeing in Turkey, to your friends and acquaintances as a travel souvenir with your autograph in it, you can perpetuate a memento of yours that will lie on the bookshelves for many years. We believe it is a nice small present that will be received with pleasure. We send our love and kind regards to all our readers and wish them many happy and healthy years.

1 Who is greater? They ask Hodja: “Effendi, who is greater, the Sultan or farmer?” Hodja says: “Of course the farmer,” and adds: “Because if the farmer doesn’t grow wheat, the Sultan dies of hunger.” Advice: Not only people themselves, but also their jobs are a part of society. The lack of an occupation is like the lack of an organ of the body, isn’t it?

2 The poor animal! Nasreddin Hodja buys some books about the Holy Koran and its interpretation; and rudiments of Islam. He puts them in a large bag. He takes the bag on to his back and rides his donkey to the village. The people who see Hodja on the way ask: “Oh, Hodja! Why did you take the bag on to your back? Hodja answers: “What can I do? The poor animal always tolerates me. Anyway, it is carrying me, and so I don’t want it to carry the bag as well.” Advice: In fact, the load the donkey carries is the same in both situations. First we should think over the events carefully, then we should give a reaction.

3 What if it becomes leavened! Nasreddin Hodja puts some food in his saddle-bag and sets out. At noon, he sits under a tree by Lake Akşehir. He eats some bread, olives and a bowl of yogurt merrily in the shadow. While he is shaking the bowl of yogurt, someone sees him and asks:

- “What are you doing, Hodja?” - “I’m leavening the lake.”

- “My God! Can the lake be leavened? Is that

possible?”

- I also know that it can’t, but what if it becomes leavened!

Advice: These words have appealed to people’s imagination for 750 years. We should make use of such good examples in our lives.

4 I’m running after my voice

While Hodja is calling for afternoon prayer, some of his neighbours are talking to each other in front of their houses and they behave as if they don’t hear the call for prayer. In fact, those neighbours don’t often go to mosque. Hodja raises his voice a bit more; but nothing changes. Then he runs towards that direction and goes on calling for prayer while he is running. Some of them think that something has happened to Hodja; and they go and ask: - “What happened, Hodja Effendi? Why are you calling for prayer running?” - “I wonder how far my voice can go and so I’m running after it.” Advice: We shouldn’t forget that calls for prayer invite us to eternal salvation. We should do our best to live our lives in a perfect way as time passes so quickly.

5 Chatting with the wife One day Hodja asks his wife:

- “What is our neighbour Mehmet Agha’s name, the one who sells sandals?”

- “You’ve just said it, Effendi. It’s Mehmet Agha.”

- “Oh, dear! I’ve slipped up. I would ask about his job.”

- “Oh, Effendi! Haven’t you said he sells sandals?”

- “Don’t you understand? I mean where he lives.”

- “Effendi, what has happened to you today? You’ve said he’s our neighbour.”

Hodja gets angry suddenly: - “Oh, it’s impossible to chat with you!”

Advice: You can talk about simple things. For example; if someone says “What nice weather!”, do you say “I see, I’m not blind.”? A great deal of profit can be gained from talking about useful matters.

6 It thinks like humans While Nasreddin Hodja is strolling round the bazaar, he sees that they sell a parrot for 12 gold coins. He is surprised and asks:

- Why is this bird so expensive? - It is a parrot. It can talk. Hodja goes home immediately. He puts his turkey under his arm and takes it to the bazaar. - “How much is the turkey?” they ask. - “15 gold coins,” says Hodja. - “Does a turkey cost 15 gold coins?” - “Don’t you see that they sell a small parrot for

12 gold coins!” - “But it has got a talent; it talks like humans.

What about yours?” - “It talks without thinking, but this one thinks

like humans.” Advice: One who talks without thinking can harm oneself as well as others. “Speaking” is a great favor granted to humans. Speaking prudently and sensibly is a greater favor. Accomplished people think well and speak reasonably.

7 He cuts the branch he is on Nasreddin Hodja climbs the huge plane tree in the square of the village and starts cutting the branch he is on with an axe. The ones who see Hodja shout:

- “Oh, Hodja! You’re cutting the branch you’re on. You’re going to fall off the tree.”

Hodja goes on cutting the branch off the tree and says:

- “You all know that one who cuts off this branch is going to fall over; but why don’t you still understand that one who cuts off this world which is the branch of the world to come (life after death) is going to fall into Hell although I always remind you of this fact?”

Advice: A really wise person plans his life. He both prepares himself for the life after death and works for this world.

8 What you call water must be like this

While Nasreddin Hodja is travelling on a summer day, he feels very thirsty at noon. He sees a lake nearby. He sits by the lake to drink some water. He puts some water in his palm and drinks a mouthful of water quickly. But it causes nausea and he tries to spit out the water. He tastes Acıgöl’s water for the first time, and its water with sodium sulphate disturbs his stomach. While he is looking round, he comes across a small spring. When he understands that it is fresh water, first he rinses his mouth, then he drinks it. He also waters his donkey. Later he looks at Acıgöl rising in waves noisily and puts some freshwater from the spring into his hands. “Don’t put on airs like the rich but mean man’s property. What you call water must be like this!” he says scattering the water in his hands to the lake. Advice: It doesn’t matter whether you offer much or little if you offer something in the right place and at the right time. We should seize the opportunity to get Allah’s (God) consent.

9 My son’s father died! One day they see Hodja dressed in black and ask:

- “What happened, Hodja Effendi? You’re dressed in black!”

- “My son’s father has died, and so I’m

mournful!” Advice: We can get dressed in any colour and wear any kind of dress that is appropriate for our cultural and moral norms. It’s one of the good traits of a wise person to ask advice for the matters he is hesitant about.

10 Mum will cry! One of Hodja’s sons is a potter in a nearby village. One day he says:

- “Dad, I’ve spent all my money on these pots. If it is sunny and they all dry in time, I’ll be rich. But if it rains, my mum will cry.” (It is an idiom in Turkish which means to be in distress or to be in a great difficulty.)

Then Hodja calls on his elder son who lives in another village. His son says:

- “Dad, I’ve spent all my fortune on this farm. If it rains in time, I’ll become rich. But if there is drought, my mum will cry?”

Hodja returns home upset. His wife says: - “What happened, Effendi? Why are you sulky

today?” - “That is not important. You think about your

own case. It doesn’t matter whether it rains or not; one of our sons’ mother will cry in any case.”

Advice: We should take the necessary precautions beforehand in order to avoid the possible negative effects of coincidences. If one secret of success is “working hard”, the other secret is “taking the necessary precautions in time.”

11 Bath tip One day Hodja goes to the Turkish bath. The keepers of the bath don’t care for him at all. They give him an old and torn bath towel. Hodja doesn’t say anything. When he is leaving the bath, he gives them a generous tip. When he comes to the same bath a week later, he is served very well this time, but he gives them a very little tip. The keepers of the bath say:

- “Effendi, are you giving such a little tip for our great care and respect?”

Hodja says: - “The tip I’ve given today is for last week’s

service. The tip I gave last week was for today’s service.”

Advice: We should have a bath at least once in our public baths which are relics from our ancestors. We should ask and learn about their system.

12 To ones who complain about seasons

In a community, some people complain about cold weather. One of them says:

- “People are never satisfied with the present situation. In winter, they complain about the cold; in summer, they complain about hot weather.”

Hodja who overhears the man talking about seasons says:

- “Oh, you ignorant man! Don’t say so! Does anyone say anything bad about spring?”

Advice: It is a sign of maturity to evaluate the events as a whole. We shouldn’t forget to thank Allah (God), who created this world for us in such a beautiful form with His infinite divine art and provides life steadily and uninterruptedly.

13 An inexperienced nightingale One day Hodja climbs one of the charity trees by the roadside and starts eating some figs. A traveller who is going by calls:

- “Halloo! Who are you? What are you doing there?”

- “I’m a nightingale,” says Hodja.

The man: - “What a peculiar voice! Does a nightingale

sing like this?” - “What can I do? An inexperienced nightingale

sings like this.” Advice: We should protect our charities which are a very good example of Turkish-Islamic culture. We should do something charitable – It can even be planting a tree.

14 Hodja plays the saz They ask Hodja:

- “Do you know how to play the stringed instruments?”

- “Yes, I do.” says Hodja. - “Ok, then. Play it,” they say giving him the

stringed instrument. (We call this instrument “saz” in Turkish. It is used to play oriental music.)

Hodja takes the plectrum into his hand and starts striking the strings without striking the frets, and so produces some odd sounds.

- “Oh, Hodja. Do you play the saz like this? You should strike the frets first; and as you strike the strings with the plectrum, notes are produced in accordance with the tune,” they say.

- “The ones who cannot find the frets play it like that. I’ve found the fret as soon as I’ve taken the saz into my hand. So why should I lose time trying to find the fret?” says Hodja.

Advice: We should avoid asking irrelevant questions when talking to people. The ascendant generation would call such people “awkward”.

15 Something incomprehensible Hodja loses his 200 coins and he starts to pray to Allah (God) to find the money. Meanwhile a rich man from Aksehir is caught by the storm at sea; and he promises Allah (God) that he’ll give 200 coins to Hodja if he arrives in his town safe and sound. He survives the storm and finds Hodja to give the money. After thinking for a while Hodja says:

- “My God, what an intricate way! Where I lost my money, where you granted it to me! It’s really difficult to comprehend your deeds.

Advice: We should never neglect to stick to the right means to get a result. One who wants to catch fish must at least throw his fishing-line into the sea.

16 The problem has become complicated

One day the inhabitants of the town complain to Hodja about the cadi (judge in Ottoman times):

- “Cadi Effendi cares for his personal interest only. He sometimes acquits the guilty; but sometimes punishes them severely for the same crime. He doesn’t recognize the law. He is on the side of the one who serves his

interest. He is a hypocrite. How can we get rid of this problem?”

Although Hodja complains to the civil authorities about it, he can’t convince them. They ask Hodja how he can prove that. He tells the governor that sending an inspector whom Cadi Effendi doesn’t know and visiting him together with the inspector will be enough. They agree to this plan. On the decided day, the inspector comes to the town as Nasreddin Hodja’s guest. Keeping his identity confidential, he visits Cadi with five or six people from the town. After some talk, Hodja says to Cadi:

- “Effendi, while the cattle were grazing in the fields, a variegated cow -I think it was yours- killed our cow blowing it in the stomach. What is the penalty for this?”

- “This is not the owner’s fault. There is no feud for animals.”

Hodja alters his word: - “No, no! I said it wrong. Our cow killed

yours.” As soon as Cadi Effendi hears this, he stands up quickly and stretches up to the Law Book on the shelf. Hodja says:

- “Ha! The problem has now become complicated. Let’s see what the Black-covered Book says about it!”

Advice: Posts and positions are transitory. Our forefathers say court is not cadi’s possession. We should act cleverly and try to do our job righteously as long as we live.

17 I don’t meddle in a small fire Murat Agha, one of the richest men in the town, thinks that he is wealthy because he is wise. He goes to mosque only on Fridays. He has got a huge three-storeyed house near the mosque in a big garden which has got various kinds of fruit trees enclosed by solid stone-walls. He wears smart and expensive clothes, and walks proudly. After listening to Nasreddin Hodja’s Friday sermons, he says pedantically, “Hodja, you don’t meddle in worldly affairs! Religious affairs are different from worldly affairs” if it is contrary to his self-interest. One day a fire breaks out in Murat Agha’s house. Meanwhile people go out of the mosque after the midday prayer. Murat Agha, running towards the mosque and addressing himself to Nasreddin Hodja and the people there, cries aloud:

- “Ah Hodja! Help! My house is on fire. Help me to put out the fire!”

Hodja, in a calm and indifferent tone, says: - “Look, neighbour! Let’s follow your advice

once in a blue moon. That fire is a worldly affair that you never want us to meddle in. But don’t worry! The house will have been reduced to ashes in a few hours and the fire will have become extinguished. Why does such a small fire make a brave, gallant, rich and clever man like you anxious as you are not afraid of living for ever in a house made of fire in the world to come?”

Advice: Pride and vanity can mislead one. They can even send one to hell. We shouldn’t tyrannize over ourselves.

18 The pleasure of finding the lost thing

Nasreddin Hodja goes to the bazaar in the town. He ties his donkey to a tree and goes shopping. When he comes back, he can’t find his donkey. Immediately, he hires a public crier and makes him shout like this:

- “Whoever finds my donkey, I’ll give him the donkey with its saddle and halter, and with everything on it.”

- “Hodja Effendi, why are you looking for the donkey if you’re going to give it to the one who finds it?” they ask.

- “You don’t know the pleasure of finding the lost thing! That donkey is enough as a reward for the finder. I can give all my fortune to the one who brings back my youth. If I found ‘Paradise’, I could give my life too,” says Hodja.

Advice: Having “stolen property” is a great sin. People must be tolerant and broadminded. We should care for others’ rights although it doesn’t serve our self-interest.

19 Maybe there is a route beyond the tree

Some children in the neighborhood want to hoax Nasreddin Hodja and so they make a plan. “Let’s make Hodja climb the tree and then let’s go away taking his shoes,” they think. They tangle their kites round a big tree at a time when Hodja is supposed to go by. They start to wait for him. When they see Hodja, they gather around him:

- “Hodja, our kites have entangled round the tree. We tried, but couldn’t disentangle them. Could you help us?”

- “Certainly!” says Hodja, putting his shoes into his backpack.

The children: - “Hodja Effendi, why are taking them with

you? What are you going to do with the shoes on the tree?”

- “Who knows, my children? God may grant me a journey beyond the tree in return for my kind act,” says Hodja.

Advice: They say one mind may be superior to another. (a Turkish proverb). We should always bear in mind that some people can be wiser than us. We should act elegantly, decently and kindly on principle.

20 In this large bowl Nasreddin Hodja explains this world and the world to come (afterlife) to his new mollahs (students). “This world is the field of the world to come. If we gain something properly here, we can save it there as well. Everybody will have what they sent before from here. None of our deeds or services are without return … etc.” explains Hodja. But he notices that the mollahs are languid and sleepy; and it is time for lunch:

- “Come on, boys! The class is over. Let’s go to my house to eat rice with meat and yoghurt as soon as we perform the midday prayer.”

They arrive at Hodja’s house and enter the drawing-room. Hodja calls out his wife: - “We’ve come to eat rice with meat and

yoghurt.” Hodja’s wife speaks from within the house: - “Mercy Effendi! There is not enough rice,

meat, oil or yoghurt in the kitchen. There isn’t even enough firewood to cook that much meal.”

Hodja goes inside and enters the drawing-room with a huge cauldron, a ladle, a big tray, a large yoghurt bucket and a lot of spoons in his hand: - “I beg your pardon, boys! If I had brought enough meat, rice, oil, milk and firewood to the house, I would cook them in this huge cauldron and offer them to you with these things! …”

Advice: Our forefathers say, “What you cut up into your meal comes to your spoon.” We should make an effort beforehand to expect and hope something to happen. One who wants to catch fish must at least throw one’s fishing-line into the sea. No one can expect fish to come into his pocket just waiting by the seaside.

21 At that time I wasn’t there Nasreddin Hodja is talking to some people who don’t usually worship God because of various excuses such as work, worldly concerns, health problems … etc. Then they begin a conversation about eating and drinking. Nasreddin Hodja:

- “I want to eat helva (a kind of Turkish sweetmeat) in these days, but we couldn’t cook it.”

- “Is it such a difficult thing to cook helva, Hodja?” they ask.

- “What can we do? When there was some sugar, there wasn’t any flour; when there was some flour, there wasn’t any sugar,” replies Hodja.

- “Couldn’t you ever have them together?” they ask.

- “Yes, I could, but at that time I wasn’t there!” says Hodja.

Advice: Our ancestors say “Don’t do today’s work tomorrow.” Words are of use only to one who listens to advice.

22 I’m walking between you One day Nasreddin Hodja is travelling with a cadi and a merchant. Hodja in the middle, Cadi Effendi on his right and the merchant on his left are both talking and walking. Hodja Effendi usually drops a hint about his companions’ life style and their slackness in worship when it is the right time. Cadi Effendi, who considers himself a great man because of his office, says to Hodja:

- “It is impossible to say something against you! If you want, you pretend to be so shrewd that you surpass the smartest men; if you want, you seem more muddled than a wild ox.”

Hodja: - “Not so! You’re exaggerating, I know my

place. Look! I’m walking between the shrewd man and the wild ox.”

Advice: Our forefathers say, “The most cultivated man is the one who knows himself.” We should think well about who we are now and what we are going to be in the future. It is very easy to break a heart; but it is so difficult to be a man of tolerance and understanding. How nice it is not to break a heart!

23 Duck Soup Nasreddin Hodja sets out early and he hurries to arrive at the village before it grows dark. When it is about noon, he stops by a fountain to perform the midday prayer and eat his meal which is only hard-baked bread. When he sees wild ducks swimming in the water, he wants to catch one of them to roast and eat it. While he is trying to approach the ducks silently, they see him and fly away. Hodja sits by the fountain, takes out his rusk from his bag and starts eating it dipping it into the water. A traveller passing there says: - “Bon appetite, Hodja! What are you eating?” Hodja, dipping his rusk into the water, says:

- “Duck soup!” Advice: We shouldn’t talk nonsense; we shouldn’t talk superfluously either. We shouldn’t ask about the things that are so obvious.

24 That one is contaminated, this one not

Alican, a tall and stout lad from Nasreddin Hodja’s village, goes to the forest to collect wood on a hot summer day. As there is no water in that part of the forest reserved for firewood, everybody puts a pitcher of water into their saddle-bag before going to the forest. Alican speaks to himself:

- “I’d rather carry two or three watermelons than carry a pitcher. Anyway, I’ll take on the firewood to my back on my return. I don’t want to try to bring back my earthenware jug without breaking it.”

He puts the watermelons into his bag and goes to the forest. He wants to eat a watermelon before starting to work. So he cuts the watermelon, but as it is unripe, he throws it away. Then he cuts the other watermelons. As they are also unripe, he throws them away too. He becomes angry and makes water on to the watermelons. Nasreddin Hodja, who is also going to the forest, sees what has happened and approaches Alican:

- “Oh, boy! You mustn’t make water on that food even if it is unripe. Repent for it or you’ll offend the Provider.”

But the young boy can’t overcome his anger and

doesn’t repent. About noon, he becomes quite thirsty because of working in the hot weather. There is no one around and there is no water.

He approaches the unripe watermelons and eats all the watermelons that he has thrown away saying “That one is contaminated, this one not …” While he is eating one of the last pieces, he meets Nasreddin Hodja again, who has finished his work in the forest and has loaded the firewood on to his donkey. Hodja first looks at the peels of the eaten watermelons, then he looks at Alican: - “O my God! Listen, Alican! You didn’t succeed to repent in time. How quickly my Lord made you eat your own urine!..” Advice: We shouldn’t underrate the experiences of our elders and what they say. Alican will have more experience as he grows older. So we should be the thousandth mind that learns from the experiences of thousands of other people instead of being the first mind that experiences everything itself. I define “old age” like this: “Old age is the name of the station arrived at by the young, who ignore the words of those that want to tell the youth their experiences about living a productive life, and so who spend many years to rediscover America.”

25 He will regret what he said A peasant steals the other one’s lamb and eats it. The one whose lamb was stolen steals that peasant’s goat and eats it. When Nasreddin Hodja investigates the event, he understands who did what. One day while the heroes of the event are sitting in the tea-house, the owner of the goat starts praising his goat: - “Its hair was two ells; its neck was three spans; its head was like this; its eyes were like that … etc.” The one who slaughtered and ate the goat becomes annoyed because of his exaggeration. But what can he do! He must keep silent. Nasreddin Hodja speaks to the man who stole and ate the goat:

- “Oh God! How this man is bragging! Now go to your house and bring the pelt of that sluggish goat so that this man will regret what he has said.”

Advice: We shouldn’t take and use another person’s property without his consent even if it is worth a pin. As the number of ones who aren’t pleased with us increases, our interrogation afterlife will become more and more difficult. As we still have an opportunity here, we should redeem ourselves from being cudgeled and rebuked in the world to come.

26 Which one didn’t you like, the painter or the paint?

When Nasreddin Hodja is working as a cadi, the constables bring two boys, who are fighting with each other in the street, to court seizing them by the collar. One of the children is a fourteen-year-old black boy whose family comes from Sudan; and the other one, who is about the same age as the Sudanese boy, is the son of a notable family from Akşehir. Our Cadi Hodja asks the boys why they are fighting with each other. The boy from Akşehir starts to speak at once: - “Cadi Effendi, my friend always beats me by deceit whenever we play a game together. This time I caught him cheating. As he didn’t accept what he had done, we started to fight.” Hodja asks the black-skinned boy if he tricked or not. The black boy says: - “Cadi Effendi, my friend always grumbles whenever he is beaten. He can’t bear defeat. As his friends know his habit, they don’t say anything, but laugh. But this time he called me ‘the black man’s black child’ intending to insult me. That’s why we were fighting. My friends would even beat him, but I intervened in the dispute.”

Nasreddin Hodja turns to the boy from Akşehir: - “Apologize to your friend instantly so that he may forgive you. Allah, the Almighty (God), painted him like that. Which one didn’t you like, the painter or the paint? Repent for it immediately, otherwise both Allah and I will punish you.” Advice: In Islam, nobody is considered to be superior or privileged due to their skin colour, wealth or race. All humans are Adam and Eve’s grandchildren. Superiority has something to do with piety. In other words, one who is superior is the one who believes in Allah, the Almighty and abstains from everything prohibited by the religion. We shouldn’t forget the fact that Bilal-i Habeşi, who was a close friend and muezzin of Mohammed, was a black slave from Ethiopia. (Muezzin is someone who calls for prayer from a minaret.) Today all Moslems pray to Allah for Bilal-i Habeşi. Also they say, “May Allah be pleased with him” whenever they say his name.

27 In the pitch dark One of Nasreddin Hodja’s guests stays overnight. The man is not a very devout Moslem. He even says, “I don’t believe in a thing I’ve never seen. Is there anyone who has been to the future world? Can something unseen be known?” Hodja listens to his guest patiently. He tries to explain the truth to him without offending him, but he is not convinced. When it is time to sleep, Hodja lays out two beds on the ground. Hodja and his guest go to their beds. Hodja blows the candle on his right out. After a while, the guest says: - “Hodja Effendi, could you light the candle on your right?” - “Oh, my brother! Are you crazy? How can I know my right in the pitch dark!” Advice: Our forefathers say, “Knowing one’s own fault is the most important sign of intelligence.” One who knows one’s faults is ready to learn. It is worth spending time and teaching him. They say, “Who knows oneself knows one’s place.” “Either be a learner or a teacher, but never be the one who is between the two.” We shouldn’t forget this advice.

28 They’ve laid out flour on the line

One of his neighbours wants Hodja’s rope. Hodja goes inside and comes back: - “The rope isn’t free. The women’ve laid out flour on it.” His neighbour: - “How can that be, Effendi? Is it ever possible to lay out flour on a line?” Hodja: - “Yes, it is. If you’re unwilling to give it, you can lay out even flour on a line!” Advice: We should be gentle when we are saying something negative.

29 You liked it and so I filled your bag with it

“People mustn’t do whatever their carnal minds want without thinking. When everything your carnal minds like comes before you in the future world, you can’t escape or be freed from them even if you want to do so,” preaches Hodja. The next day Hodja and some of his peasant friends set off to go to the bazaar in the town. At those times, naturally donkeys are used as a means of transport. While travelling, they start to talk about the desires of carnal mind again. Some

villagers justify themselves by saying: - “I don’t oppress myself. I do what I like. It is my pleasure and right to do so.” Hodja takes advantage of the fact that the donkeys stop to smell the faeces ejected by the animals that passed along that street before. He starts to fill the feed-bag of his donkey with the faeces it has smelt. A few hours later, they stop for a rest by a fountain. While they are eating their food, they put the feed-bags round their donkeys’ necks. Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey smells it calmly for a while, then it becomes peevish and struggles to be freed from the feed-bag wagging its head violently. - “Why are you trying to be freed from the bag becoming ill-natured? You liked it and I filled your feed-bag with it!” says Hodja. When the ones who see what Hodja did say, “Hodja, this is wrong! How can the animal understand that?” Hodja retorts: - “People should think of themselves! What are they going to do when they are offered the bundles they prepared in this world for afterlife?” Advice: Our forefathers said very nice proverbs on this subject: “What you cut up into your meal comes to your spoon.” & “You shall reap what you have sown.” In fact, man was expelled from Heaven and sent to Earth just because he didn’t follow only one advice. Ones who obey the orders will be elevated to Heaven again while disobedient ones will descend into Hell. It is a matter of choice. Choose the place you like, you’re entirely free!”

30 The cauldron bore a pot – The cauldron died

There is a usurer in the town. If he lends money to someone who is in urgent need of cash, he wants his money back together with the accrued interest. One day, this usurer’s neighbour borrows his big cauldron. He takes and uses it. He puts a small cauldron in it when giving it back. The owner asks to be sure: - “What about this pot?” When his neighbour says: - “Your cauldron has borne a pot!”, he immediately takes it claiming ownership. Some time later, his neighbour borrows the big cauldron again. The owner of the cauldron goes and wants his cauldron back as it hasn’t been returned for almost 15 days. - “The cauldron died!” replies his neighbour. The pawnbroker gets angry and has recourse to the court. At that time, Nasreddin Hodja is the cadi (judge). After listening to both the defendant and the plaintiff, he judges: - “Your cauldron could give birth, so it could also die.” When the man says in a fury: - “Is that possible, Cadi Effendi?” Nasreddin Hodja retorts: - “You believe that it gave birth to a pot, then why don’t you believe that it died? ...”

Advice: What does one gain by doing a trade which is profitable in the short term; but which is much more unprofitable in the long term? Let’s think twice! We are free to decide what to do …

31 Neither secretly nor publicly When they see Hodja eating bread in the bazaar in a year of famine, - “Hodja Effendi, isn’t it a shame to eat bread publicly?” they say. Hodja: - “If it is not a shame to glut secretly when one’s neighbour is hungry, then why is it a shame to do so publicly? Being satiated when one’s neighbour is hungry is either a shame everywhere or not a shame anywhere.” Advice: We shouldn’t be indifferent to others’ needs.

32 They make one eat helva flogging one

A poor man, who looks at the windows of helva shops in the market place of Konya with an appetite, wants one of the shop owners to give him some helva (a kind of Turkish sweetmeat) as alms. The shop owner doesn’t give it. The poor man craves for helva. He can’t stand it any longer and goes to another helva shop venturing to be beaten up. He puts a copper dish of helva before him and starts to tuck into it quickly. Although the helva-seller says: - “You chap! How can you eat my helva without asking and paying for it?”, the man ignores him and goes on tucking in, so the helva-seller goes at the man. Nasreddin Hodja, who is shopping there by chance, turns and says to the customers:

- “What nice men the helva-sellers of Konya are! They make even a poor man without any money eat helva flogging and smacking him.”

Advice: We are in a world of trial, and there are lots of questions! Let’s do our best to answer the questions. Let’s try to give the correct answers. Let’s win points and have pluses. At least, let’s not have many minuses.

33 As long as it is untrue One of the villagers claims that the other villager owes him 10 bushels of wheat. In fact there is not such a matter of debt, but the man plans to get 10 bushels of wheat by deceiving the court with a false witness. While he is looking for a false witness, Nasreddin Hodja says he can bear witness. The man becomes delighted because Cadi Effendi can decide it easily if Hodja is the witness. At court, Cadi Effendi asks Hodja: - “It’s said that this man owes that man 10 bushels of wheat. What do you think about it?” Nasreddin Hodja: - “Yes, Cadi Effendi. This man owes that man 10 bushels of barley.” The man interrupts: - “He would say 10 bushels of wheat. He must slip up.” Nasreddin Hodja turns to the man and says: - “It makes no difference whether it is wheat or barley, it is untrue.” Advice: Doing injustice deliberately causes man to lose lots of points in his trial in this world. Life is short in this world. One shouldn’t risk one’s eternal life in the world to come for some small personal interests. A clever person shouldn’t be entrapped by his self-interests. Nothing can be kept secret from Allah, the Almighty (God)… (Bushel is an old measure of volume. 1 bushel is 35 litres.)

34 Take the goat in! Someone comes and tells Hodja his house is so small that it causes them trouble; and wants him to find a remedy for it. Hodja listens to the man calmly and says: - “Now, go to your house and let the goat go inside the house.” The man visits Hodja again the next day. - “Oh, Hodja! After I took the goat in, my problem got bigger.” Hodja listens to him calmly and says: - “Now, go home and take the hens in.” The man visits Hodja the next day: - “Ah, Hodja, It’s getting worse and worse.” Hodja speaks self-assured: - “Go and take your cow in too.” The man visits Hodja once more the next day: - “Mercy, Hodja! I’m extremely troubled.” Hodja keeps quite calm and says: - “Let the goat go out of the house tonight.” The next day he comes and tells Hodja that they feel a bit more relieved. Hodja: - “Tonight let the hens go outside too.” The next day the man comes more relieved. Hodja: - “Now go home and let the cow go outside and clean your house thoroughly.” The man does what Hodja says and comes to visit Hodja again the next day feeling much more relieved. Now his house seems very large and he gives Hodja his thanks for it.

Advice: In our time, we cram our houses with furniture. Sometimes we have so many things in our houses that we remember this anecdote.

35 He would fit its width to its length

A Persian who came to Akşehir always twaddles. One day he starts concocting: - “In Isfahan, our Shah (sovereign) has got two hundred-roomed palaces that are 5000 ells long.” (1 ell is about 68 cm.) One of the listeners wants to rejoin: - “In our capital, Bursa there are some bigger palaces. Also a thermal-resort which is 5000 ells long has been built…” Just at that time another Persian enters: - “I’ve come from Bursa…” he begins to speak. Then the man who is talking about the thermal-resort in Bursa says: - “And it is 50 ells wide.” - “How can it be? Its width doesn’t fit its length,” opposes the Persian. Hodja, who is listening to them: - “If that man hadn’t come from Bursa, he would fit its width to its length very well.” Advice: Being truthful must be our principle. They say liars have short wings. Telling lies takes one’s esteem away.

36 Raise your foot! While Hodja is performing the sunnah of midday prayer, he sees some dirt on the leg of the trousers of someone from the attendance. (That is a hindrance to ablution and so to prayer.) While he is going towards the niche to conduct the divine service, he says to the man: - “Raise your foot! You will pray standing on one leg.” The man asks in confusion: - “Why, Hodja?” Hodja showing the dirt on the leg of his trousers: - “Look! This foot hasn’t performed an ablution!” Advice: We should do our duties attentively. Negligence can do harm to our efforts.

37 If you don’t eat the sahur meal either

Nasreddin Hodja has got a neighbour who doesn’t fast and whose household doesn’t fast either. But the man always makes them prepare the sahur meal (a meal eaten before dawn in Ramadan) and has his children get up to eat it together. At last his wife can’t stop herself and goes to ask advice from Hodja: - “I don’t fast. Neither my husband nor my children fast. But my husband gets me make delicious meals persistently and we eat them all together before dawn. As we don’t fast, why do we have to get up for sahur every night?” - “Oh, woman! Don’t talk like that! You don’t perform the divine prayers at five appointed times a day. You don’t fast. If you don’t eat the sahur meal either, how can it be known that you are Moslems?” says Hodja. Advice: We should try to strengthen the ties that will take us to afterlife felicity. If we manage to add the threads together, we can have a sound rope we have trust in.

38 Don’t be lazy but plough the field!

Nasreddin Hodja conducts the morning prayer and goes home. He says to his wife: - “I’ll lie on the divan for a nap, and then I’ll go to plough the field. Wake me about one hour later.” One hour later his wife calls out Hodja, but sees that he is sluggish. - “Effendi! You are so lazy today that even tortoises have done more work than you have,” says Hodja’s wife. Hodja gets up and prepares to go out. He arrives at the field and starts working. While he is ploughing the field, he sees a tortoise in front of the plough. It stands still. If he went on ploughing, he could bury it alive in the earth. He calls out: - “Look, tortoise! I see that you managed to come here before me. But, don’t be lazy! Look on me to learn how to plough!” Advice: If we waste our time being lazy, we can’t make any progress and others sneer at us. For instance, an athlete who is going to run in a marathon should take great care to train himself more than his opponents. Otherwise he stays so behind that everybody ridicules and laughs at him. We need elite people of good character who can compete with anybody in every field such as Medicine, Literature, Art, Science, Religion, Sport … etc.

39 When will the Doomsday come?

- “When will the doomsday come?” they ask Nasreddin Hodja. - “If my wife dies, the small doomsday will come. If I die, the big one will come,” he answers. Advice: Man will account for his life in the world to come. When one dies, one will stop striving and wait for doomsday. One’s deeds will be on the trial balance. It is useless to wonder when our world will come to end. What have we prepared for our own end which is certain to come? Only this fact concerns us. A woman is mostly responsible for accounting for herself and her family. Nasreddin Hodja says “If I die, the big doomsday will come,” pointing out that he will account for his attendance as he is an imam as well as being responsible for himself and his family.

40 Could you read your own letter?

Nasreddin Hodja delivers the letters he has written by hand and gives them to their receivers after he himself reads them. One day they say: - “Effendi, why are you having a lot of trouble going and reading your own letters?” - “If I don’t go, they don’t read the letters and so they will be of no use. You see! Do people read the letters they often receive about their death which is the most important subject? Then they are puzzled on their last day,” says Hodja. Advice: We should educate ourselves very well. We should take example from the happenings around us and learn how to read the letters in the book of the universe. We should understand the divine order that says, “Can those who know (learned ones) and those who don’t know (ignorant ones) ever be equal?”

41 I don’t feel sleepy now Nasreddin Hodja stays as a guest in a village. They perform the bedtime prayer. After some talk, to remind him that it is time to go to bed, they say: - “Hodja, why do people yawn?” The host doesn’t offer Hodja any food. As he feels very hungry, he says: - “It is because of either hunger or sleeplessness.” Then he exerts himself to yawn and says: - “But I don’t feel sleepy now.” Advice: Our forefathers say, “A guest has to satisfy himself with the pot luck.” It is not inconvenient to serve our guests with what we have at that moment. Offering our guests what we have is one of our national and religious traditions.

42 Two ells Nasreddin Hodja goes to visit the governor. They give him a seat two ells further than the governor’s seat. He sits down. After some talk, the governor asks: - “Hodja, what is the difference between you and a donkey?” Hodja answers without thinking at all: - “A distance of two ells!” Advice: Humaneness has nothing to do with one’s post and position, but one’s real self. We should have a nice and strong personality. (Note: It is said that this conversation was made between Tamerlane and Nasreddin Hodja. But they lived in different centuries so it is impossible for them to meet each other. We should consider the character Timur Khan in the anecdotes as some other cruel rulers who lived in that age.)

43 Are the animals huge? While Nasreddin Hodja is strolling round Konya, he sees a huge building. He stops and looks on. The doorkeeper of the building asks: - “Effendi, why are you looking on naively?” - “I want to understand what it is,” says Hodja. To mock Hodja, the doorkeeper says: - “It’s a mill!” Nasreddin Hodja asks at once: - “Are the animals working here as huge as the mill itself?” Advice: Mocking someone or something is forbidden in our religion. It is also disgraceful in our moral mentality. (Note: Before the invention of motors, mills used to work by water or wind power <windmill> or by animal power.)

44 Let the friends see me in business!

In his sermons, Nasreddin Hodja talks about the importance of sincerity in worship: - “Make your prayers humbly and respectfully. That is the real benefit. Otherwise you suffer loss if you worship hypocritically. As you are toiling and having pain, you should gain profit”. He wants to explain this point with an impressive example since the attendance is indifferent to the matter. He pays one akçe (Ottoman coin) for nine eggs, but sells ten eggs for one akçe. - “What peculiar trade this is, Hodja!” they say. - “First look at the other sellers, and then look at me. I don’t intend to earn money, just let the friends see me in business!” (It is an idiom meaning that someone is doing something not for profit, but merely for pleasure or prestige.) Advice: We should never forget to gain profit for afterlife as our life which is the capital of our worldly trade passes quickly.

45 I’ll seize it by its neck

Just when Nasreddin Hodja immerses his jug into the brook to take same water, the jug slips out of his grasp and sinks in the deep water. Hodja stands still for a moment. One of his acquaintances passing there asks: - “What are you waiting for, Hodja?” - “The jug’s dived into the water. I’ll seize it by its neck when it comes out of the water.” Advice: We should do even something simple attentively in order not to get it wrong.

46 Wake up! Nasreddin Hodja dreams that the women in the neighborhood married him to another woman and his wife didn’t object to this marriage. Then he suddenly wakes up. He jogs and awakes his wife who is sleeping by him: - “Oh God! What an indifferent woman you are! Wake up! The woman in our neighborhood will marry me to another woman and a fellow-wife will come to the house, but you’re still silent.” Advice: We should always use our intellect in the best way.

47 You’re right too A man comes and tells an event he experienced to Nasreddin Hodja, who is the cadi (judge) at that time. He asks before he leaves: - “Am I not right, Hodja?” - “Yes, you’re right,” says Hodja. Soon after another man comes and tells the same event according to himself. Then he asks: - “Am I not right, Hodja?” - “Yes, you’re right,” says Hodja. After the man leaves, his wife calls out from within the room: - “Effendi, you said <You’re right> to both of them. One of them can’t be right, can he?” - “You’re right too!” says Hodja. Advice: Why is a football match on TV broadcast from sixteen different cameras? One who thinks that one has found the truth by looking in one direction only deceives oneself.

48 Bring his robe and then take your saddle!

A man from Nasreddin Hodja’s village stops in front of the bushes on his way to his garden. He ties his donkey to a tree. He takes off his aba (drugget cloak) and puts it on the donkey’s saddle. Then he goes to a sheltered place to make water. Just at that time someone steals the aba and escapes. When the man comes back and sees that his aba has disappeared, he takes a stick into his hand, grumbles and cudgels his donkey ruthlessly. Hodja, who is going to his garden, sees the event: - “Don’t worry! I’ll punish it severely.” He immediately takes off the donkey’s saddle and puts it down. He unties its halter and winds it around its neck. Hodja hits the donkey once and calls out: - “You won’t get back your saddle. Bring your owner’s aba and take your saddle.” Advice: We mustn’t punish animals unjustly. If they deserve punishment, we should punish them fairly within limits.

49 It’s obvious who has been affected adversely by it

One of Nasreddin Hodja’s mean neighbours invites him to dinner. They sit at the table. They bring four olives, two boiled eggs, two slices of bread and a pinch of salt for two persons. The host, who wants to serve one spoonful of honey to his guest after dinner, puts the honey bowl under the table. Hodja, who sees this, immediately puts the bowl on the table and starts tucking into the honey without any bread. The host sees that his honey is about to finish: - “Hodja, if you eat it without bread, it may affect you adversely.” Hodja doesn’t care him and goes on eating: - “It is obvious who has been affected adversely by it.” Advice: “Eat, drink but don’t squander” is a rule in Islam. On the other hand, stinginess is described as a very bad habit. We should be moderate in everything we do.

50 Is it hereditary? A woman, who has been married for three years, cannot become pregnant. The mother-in-law and the husband blame the woman and her mother for that. They grumble every day as if they certainly know that it is her fault. One day the mother-in-law takes her to Nasreddin Hodja: - “Hodja Effendi, my daughter-in-law cannot become pregnant. I wish my son hadn’t married the girl of this family. I don’t know whether you’ll write an amulet or say a prayer, but find a remedy for it,” she grumbles furiously. Hodja turns to the daughter-in-law who is sorrowful. - “My girl, it may be hereditary! Was your mother without issue?” Advice: We shouldn’t blame anyone before we learn the real problem. People may not be as polite as Nasreddin Hodja when they are telling us that we are twaddling.

51 You’re a troublesome sovereign sent by God

Timur Khan is a cruel Mongol who tyrannizes over people, burns and demolishes their houses and fields, kills lots of people when he occupies Anatolia. When he settles down in Aksehir, he sends for fifteen notable men of the city. He takes them in one by one and asks: - “Am I just or unjust?” He has both the ones who say “just” and the ones who say “unjust” killed. The next day again he orders the people from Akşehir to send fifteen men. They become very frightened. They go to see Nasreddin Hodja immediately. They persuade him to be in the committee. The committee is received by Timur Khan. Timur Khan asks Nasreddin Hodja who is the head of the committee: - “Say if I’m just or unjust, Hodja Effendi!” Hodja answers loudly without any hesitation: - “You’re neither just nor unjust. You’re a great nuisance sent by Allah (God) to this nation that has become corrupt and gone too far.” Timur likes this answer and pardons the ones in the committee. Advice: Blaming others all the time hinders people from finding the truth. We should form the habit of scrutinizing the events from different angles.

52 As you flow crazily On a hot summer day, Nasreddin Hodja sets off. He wants to drink some water from a charity fountain by the roadside. He also wants to refresh himself washing his face and hands; and to perform an ablution. He notices that the water pipe has been plugged by a piece of wood. As the wood has become wet and so has swollen, it cannot be easily taken out of its place. Hodja tries hard and takes the plug out by pulling it strongly. The water that has gushed forth from the pipe soaks Hodja’s clothes without letting him go aside. He looks at the fountain and grumbles: - “I see! They closed your mouth with that peg as you flow crazily!” Advice: The state of those who go too far is somewhat like this fountain, isn’t it?

53 How can it be known? Someone who has just returned from Africa says that people are naked there because of the scorching weather. Hodja interrupts him: - “OK, but how can one know whether they are ladies or gentlemen (humans)?” Advice: Only humans wear various kinds of clothes. Other creatures cannot change their skins and hairs which are a part of their bodies as they want. We should appreciate our cover.

54 Bring a donkey with you! Nasreddin Hodja ties his donkey somewhere near the entrance of the court and goes shopping in the bazaar. Meanwhile the cadi (judge) judges a dishonest dealer and as a punishment subjects him to being taken round the city sitting back to front on the donkey. They make the offender mount Hodja’s ass, which is near the entrance and start taking him round the city. Hodja sees the man who is being taken round the bazaar, but doesn’t say anything. The usher ties the donkey to the place he took it from. A few hours later while Hodja is going towards his donkey with his packets in his hands, he sees that they are about to make the same offender mount his donkey back to front once more. This time he intervenes and speaks loudly turning to the offender: - “Either give up being a dishonest artisan or bring a donkey with you!” Advice: In Ottoman times, rogues used to be taken round the city sitting back to front on a donkey as a punishment in order to make the public see and know them. It was an effective and useful method. If this kind of punishment was in force today, how many men that ride their donkeys straight could we see around us? Let’s think about it!

55 If the lost saddle-bag hadn’t been found

Hodja loses his saddle-bag when he is a guest in a village. He says to the villagers: - “Find my saddle-bag, or I know what to do.” The villagers look for it everywhere in a flurry. They find it and bring it to Hodja. When Hodja is leaving the village, they ask: - “Hodja, what would you do if we hadn’t found the saddle-bag?” Hodja: - “Nothing, I’ve got an old woven carpet at home. I would make a saddle-bag out of it!” Advice: We should help those who have been treated unjustly not because we are afraid of someone or something, but to avert injustice.

56 I would read even the whole Koran

Nasreddin Hodja and his wife visit their friend who is an imam in another town. The hostess is a very clever, dexterous and good-natured woman. She arranges the interior of her house and her garden so beautifully that they arouse admiration. She prepares a perfect dinner table. They eat and drink. When they return home, Hodja’s wife asks: - “By the way, you first say God’s name before you sleep with me or hold my hand.” - “Of course, I do so. It’s Allah’s (God) order,” says Hodja. - “But before your friend, Imam Effendi sleeps with his wife, I heard that he reads <Yasin> (one of the suras of the Holy Koran),” says Hodja’s wife. Hodja laughs: - “Oh, my dear wife, if I had such a wife, I would read even the whole Koran.” Advice: Our forefathers say a swift horse increases its fodder itself. It is a Turkish proverb. We should sometimes criticize ourselves and be aware of our defects.

57 The architectural style of minarets

While Nasreddin Hodja is travelling to Konya, he meets a friend from Sivrihisar, who is going to Konya too. They greet each other and set out together. While they’re approaching Konya, the man from Sivrihisar asks wonderingly: - “Hodja Effendi, how do they construct these high tapering minarets?” Hodja smiles delicately: - “They turn wells upside down, so it’s done.” The man: - “How do they turn them?” Hodja answers: - “I’m an imam. I can’t interfere with architects’ business.” Advice: Being curious is good if it leads one to research. That’s why they say curiosity is half of knowledge. Nasreddin Hodja means experts on that subject can know it and he doesn’t talk about the subject he doesn’t know.

58 Instead of looking for a hodja for your daughter

One day one of the women in the neighborhood says to Nasreddin Hodja: - “Hodja Effendi, I don’t know whether you’ll write an amulet or breathe on my madcap daughter, but do what you can do so that she’ll be more sober-minded. She never listens to my advice. She is intractable and disobedient”. Hodja: - “Look for a husband, not a hodja for your daughter. Then you’ll see how docile she’ll be!” Advice: A disease that’s diagnosed right can be cured easily. So first right diagnosis, then treatment.

59 You’ll see how I lament it Nasreddin Hodja has lost his donkey. He looks for the donkey together with a few people. These men are those who don’t live an Islamic life and say they’ll worship God when they grow old. Hodja looks for his donkey and sings song merrily at the same time. - “Isn’t it peculiar, Hodja? Does a man who has lost his donkey look for it singing songs merrily?” - “Like your hope in old age, my last hope is beyond that mountain. If I can’t find it there either, you’ll see how I lament my loss!”

Advice: How can we be sure that we’ll live long? We shouldn’t leave today’s work to tomorrow. We shouldn’t forget that when God says “Today!”, the devil says “Tomorrow!”

60 The moon is in its proper place at last

Nasreddin Hodja goes to take some water from the well. A little child comes there running. He wants to drink water. While Hodja is immersing the bucket into the well, the boy looks into it. Suddenly the boy starts shouting and says the moon has fallen into the well. Then the hook of the bucket is stuck somewhere in the well. It cannot be pulled out. While the boy is pulling the bucket with Hodja, the hook is detached, and they both fall on their back. While they are lying on the ground, Hodja shows the little boy the moon in the sky and says: - “Thank God! We’ve tried hard, but the moon is in its proper place at last.” Advice: We should educate our children who are the future of our nation agreeably trying to see the events from their point of view.

61 I found plenty of oxen from the Antiquity that can fill up a stable

They persuade Nasreddin Hodja to be the imam of their village from Ramadan to Festival of the Sacrifices offering him two oxen in return for his service. They want Hodja to conduct the prayers at five appointed times a day and also the night service of worship in Ramadan. They ask him to preach too. Hodja accepts their offer. He gives lessons before the night service during Ramadan. He also preaches and lectures on religious matters. He strives hard to teach the attendance. He conducts the Bairam prayer. While he is bidding the attendance farewell before he sets out to return to his village, he looks over their manners carefully. He sees that they are much the same. (In Turkish, people say “old bath, old bowl!”) There is almost no progress. So much so they give Hodja only one ox instead of two oxen they agreed upon by bargain. Hodja returns home. While he is stabling his new ox, one of his neighbours comes to say “welcome”. - “Welcome, Hodja, What did you do there, where did you get the ox?” he asks. - “That place is a real treasure! I found plenty of oxen from the Antiquity that can fill up a huge stable.”

Advice: The distinctive feature, in other words the dominant feature, of human beings is their having intellect. If man who is a rational being does not use his intellect, then his rank won’t be different from the rank of those that fill up a stable.

62 They even smell my fancy Nasreddin Hodja longs for yoghurt soup with peppermint. He wishes there was one on the table and he ate it heartily. While he is thinking about a tureen of yoghurt soup with peppermint, somebody knocks at the door. - “My dad sends you his kind regards and wants some yoghurt soup with peppermint from you” says the neighbour’s child with a bowl in his hand. - “Oh, what’s that? The neighbours even smell my fancy!” says Hodja with a smile. Advice: Our forefathers were very hospitable. “You get your share of what’s cooked in your neighbour’s kitchen,” is a nice Turkish proverb. We shouldn’t forget to offer our friends some of what we eat when we are eating something that may excite their desire.

63 I wish you offered a flat cake Nasreddin Hodja stays overnight as a guest in one of his friends’ house. The host shows Hodja the woolen bed laid on the floor after having a chat and serving a glass of sherbet (a cooling drink made of diluted fruit juices) to him. Hodja, who is hungry: - “Thank you, but I don’t want to get used to sleeping in such perfect beds. Instead of that I wish you offered me a flat cake cooked in the ashes. (It’s a kind of pastry stuffed with cheese or minced-meat.) I would make a bed with one half and cover myself with the other half. Then I would have a sound sleep.” Advice: Allah, the Almighty loves those who’re hospitable very much. Don’t you want Allah (God) to love you very much?

64 Hit him with a stick 300 times! When Nasreddin Hodja is with the Monarch, security forces bring a drunken soldier and ask: -“What punishment do you order for this drunken soldier?” The Monarch shouts with rage: - “Hit him with a stick 300 times!” Hodja bursts into laughter. - “Why are you laughing?” shouts the Monarch. - “Oh, my Sultan! Either you don’t know how to count, or you’ve never been flogged,” replies Hodja. Advice: A person who is hit with a stick more than 100 times dies. Will they hit the dead body? We must be just.

65 God willing, I’ve come One night Nasreddin Hodja says to his wife: - “Tomorrow if it’s rainy, I’ll collect wood. If it’s clear, I’ll go ploughing.” - “Say ‘God willing!’, Effendi” says his wife. -“Oh, darling! Either this one or the other one will happen,” says Hodja. The next day it rains. Hodja sets off and rides his donkey to the forest. On the way he encounters one of his neighbours who is going into town to see his doctor. They walk together for some time. But then the man feels so much pain that he can’t walk. Hodja lets the patient mount his donkey and takes him to the doctor in the town. It becomes midnight by the time he returns his village. When Hodja knocks at the door and his wife says “who is it?” he says: - “Open the door, darling. God willing, I’ve come!” Advice: After making our preparations and taking the necessary measures, we shouldn’t forget that we can do something only if Allah (God) permits us to do it.

66 It doesn’t interest me – It doesn’t interest you

While Nasreddin Hodja is walking the bazaar, a babbler says: - “Effendi, they’ve just taken a pan of ‘baklava’ (a kind of lozenge-shaped sweet pastry, which is a very popular Turkish dessert), which has been roasted well”. Hodja ignores him: - “It doesn’t interest me!” The babbler: - “But they’ve taken the pan of baklava to your house”. Hodja says crossly: - “It doesn’t interest you!” Advice: Babbling about the matters that don’t interest us may leave us in a difficult situation. We should think before we speak.

67 Pickaxe sheaths One of the villagers sees high boots in a shoe shop in Konya for the first time in his life. He likes and buys them. He puts on his boots and goes to the village. Showing his boots, he asks Nasreddin Hodja: - “What are these?” - “So easy! They’re pickaxe sheaths!” Advice: Our Hodja thinks the villager as the handle of a pickaxe and his feet as its sheaths. If we want to be respectable, we should be respectful and decent.

68 I cut and ran They ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Have you ever been in love with a woman crazily?” - “By God, once I was just about to fall in love crazily, but then I cut and ran remembering the Creator of the cause.” Advice: We must try to obey the divine orders exactly even if we don’t understand the secret motives beneath them. We are living in a world of motives. We should try to understand the real motives beneath the events. If we just see the events as they seem, we spend our time in vain on our way to Heaven.

69 Man’s adventure in this world They ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Until when are people going to be born, live and die?” - “Until Heaven and Hell become full,” he answers. Advice: Man is given free will to choose between Heaven and Hell. Both of them will be filled with rational beings. Lunatics are pardoned and excused from Hell.

70 One who has fallen off the roof can understand my condition

After the morning prayer, Nasreddin Hodja starts to shovel away the snow reaching up to the knee on the roof of his house. Then suddenly he falls off the roof losing his balance and faints. His neighbours rush towards him: - “Let’s call a doctor quickly!” says one. - “Oh! Let’s find a bone-setter!” says the other one. - “Let’s take him to the doctor on someone’s back!” says somebody else. Hodja, who has recovered in that row, puts his hand on his waist which aches and says:

- “Stop arguing! Immediately find me someone who has fallen off the roof before.” Advice: We’ve got a proverb, “Having a bad experience once is more effective than being advised one thousand times.” We should learn from our experiences.

71 Not to let you climb up Early in the morning, Nasreddin Hodja shovels away the snow on his roof. He feels he has to make water. He looks around and sees that there is not a soul. He kneels down in a corner and makes water down the roof. When he sees someone in the distance, he stops it. The one who is going past that street is a brazen-faced man whom Hodja doesn’t like. - “Why did you stop, Hodja?” asks the man. - “Well, if I didn’t stop, you would climb up the roof by clinging to it, wouldn’t you?” says Hodja. Advice: We should always be moderate in our relationships with others. Those who are brazen-faced bore their kinsfolk and friends too.

72 A greyhound for the mean police magistrate

Nasreddin Hodja doesn’t love the mean police magistrate (chief of the police office) at all. One day Police Magistrate orders Hodja a greyhound: - “Hodja Effendi, you’ve got lots of acquaintances. Find me a greyhound. I want it to be of slender waist and hare-eared.” A few days later Hodja brings a fleshy stray dog putting a string round its neck. Police Magistrate gets angry: - “Hodja Effendi, I wanted a greyhound of slender waist from you, but you’ve brought me a huge stray dog.” - “Don’t worry, please! In any case it’ll turn into a greyhound if it stays with you for a month.” Advice: We should look after the animals we own well. Animals have some rights too.

73 Wasn’t the thief faulty at all? Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey has been stolen. Hodja’s friends blame Hodja for it instead of consoling him: - “You had to lock the door of the stable.” - “Didn’t you hear a clattering noise?” - “I think you didn’t tie the donkey tightly.” Hodja listens to them silently, but he can bear it no longer and at last he says: - “Enough! You think I’m totally faulty. Be just a bit! Wasn’t the thief faulty at all?” Advice: We should avoid superfluous talk that doesn’t contribute to the solution.

74 What if marrows grew on a walnut-tree

On a summer day, Nasreddin Hodja sits in the shade of a walnut-tree to feel cool. When he notices the huge marrows a bit further on, he speaks to himself: - “My God, how interesting! Huge marrows grow on the grass, but the fruit of this walnut-tree, which occupies an area of 200 square meters and of which branches stretch up to the sky and down to the earth, is tiny!” Then just at that time a walnut drops down on his head. Hodja jumps to his feet saying, “Oh, my head!” He says: - “My God, let it be a vow! I’ll never meddle in your affairs once again! What if marrows, instead of walnuts, grew on the tree!” Advice: Attempting to find a fault in Allah’s (God) creation causes us to be held as contemptible and worthless. Allah knows every kind of creation properly. There are amazing subtleties, mysteries and motives beneath every being and event for one who knows how to look and think.

75 Hodja bribes Cadi Effendi Nasreddin Hodja has to await the decision of the tribunal in Konya. But Cadi (judge) says “Come a few days later,” every time Hodja goes to the court. Hodja’s friends warn Hodja: - “Cadi is a corrupt man. If you don’t bribe him, he doesn’t render a service.” Hodja brings a pot of honey to Cadi and obtains what he wanted at once. Cadi wants to taste the honey that night, but he can’t believe what he sees: There is just a little honey on the top and its bottom is full of dung. The next morning Cadi orders the constable of the tribunal: - “Find and bring Nasreddin Hodja to me. Tell him that there are some mistakes in the decision.” Hodja stands before Cadi. Cadi shouts with rage: - “Were you going to make me eat excrement at dinner?” - “Not so! You ate that excrement when you took the pot to resolve the case.” Advice: Allah (God) and Allah’s envoy damn both bribees and bribers. We should be careful not to be deceived.

76 Behold! Nasreddin shoots like this

When the notables of the town are going practising archery, Nasreddin Hodja goes with them. Everybody shoots arrows by turns. Some hit the target but some don’t. When it is Hodja’s turn: - “Hodja, let’s see how you shoot now!” they say. Hodja shoots an arrow, but if falls somewhere too far from the target. - “Look! The head of janissary soldiers shoots like this.” says Hodja. The second shot doesn’t hit the target either. - “Our police magistrate shoots like this,” says Hodja this time. When the third shot just hits the target, Hodja turns towards his friends feeling proud and adds: - “Behold! Nasreddin shoots like this.” Advice: Hodja doesn’t know archery. Hodja’s friends want to tease him as they know that he won’t be able to score a hit. Hodja doesn’t let them do so acting cleverly. We shouldn’t argue with people acting cleverly in similar situations.

77 A man keeps his word They ask Hodja how old he is. He says he is forty years old. When he is asked about his age a few years later, he again says he is forty. - “Is it possible, Hodja Effendi? You said you were forty when we asked you about your age a few years ago.” Hodja smiles: - “A man keeps his word! …” Advice: It is impossible to stop time. We should appreciate every moment we live.

78 A talk on calculation with the priests

Three learned priests who have been to many different places of the world visit Aksehir too. They want to meet Hodja as they’ve heard of his fame. Hodja is introduced to the priests in a meeting attended by the notabilities of Akşehir. They eat and drink together. After some talk, one of the priests asks Hodja:

- “Hodja Effendi, where is the center of Earth?” - “It’s the place my donkey’s right forefoot is stepping on now,” says Hodja showing his donkey, which is grazing. - “How do you know that?” asks the priest. - “If you don’t believe me, measure it,” replies Hodja. The second priest asks: - “All right, Hodja Effendi! How many stars are there in the sky?” - “There are the same number of stars in the sky as my donkey’s hairs,” says Hodja. - “How can you prove it?” they ask. - “If you don’t believe me, count them,” replies Hodja. Then the third priest asks: - “How many hairs does my beard have?” - “Their number is the same as the number of hairs on my donkey’s tail.” - “How can you know that?” they ask. Nasreddin Hodja gets serious: - “I told you to measure it, but you didn’t. Then I told you to count them, but you didn’t. There is not a single hair more, but you don’t believe me. Let’s verify it. Let’s pluck a hair from the donkey’s tail and one from the priest’s beard. Thus we can see they’re equal without erring.” The priests stop arguing and leave there. Advice: Nasreddin Hodja answers the questions that are impossible to answer by using the same way of reasoning. He shows us that there is a way out for those who reason well.

79 You eat all of them Nasreddin Hodja is travelling to Konya with a gluttonous, covetous and rich man from Akşehir. On the way they stop to eat their food when they feel hungry. The man tucks into all the food while Hodja eats just a few morsels. He always talks about eating, drinking and earning. They arrive in Konya. They stop at a bakery and walk in. -“Are these loaves of bread yours?” Hodja asks the baker, who is taking out the loaves of bread which have just been baked and so smell very nice, and arranging them in a line in his shop window. The baker becomes puzzled and looks at Hodja in confusion. When he says “Yes, they’re mine,” Hodja says: - “You’ve got such an amount of newly baked hot bread that smells nice. What are you waiting for, then? You yourself eat all of them!” Advice: Uncontrolled flames can cause fire. Likewise when our ambitions go out of control, they destroy both our life in this world and our life after death.

80 In order not to have my faith stolen

One night a burglar breaks into Nasreddin Hodja’s house. When Hodja sees the burglar, he hides in the closet. The burglar searches everywhere and puts the things that are of use to him into his sack. When he opens the door of the closet, he meets Hodja face to face. - “Have you been here?” he stammers in stupefaction. Nasreddin Hodja speaks calmly: - “The worldly goods you’ve stolen from my house are not valuable for me. I’ve hidden myself here in order not to have my faith stolen.” Advice: The faithless are free to do anything until they end up in Hell. It is quite clear that the burglar’s going to search the closet. Hodja warns the burglar using a very effective method. We should endeavor to be friends with “Paradise Travellers”.

81 It’s dark inside Nasreddin Hodja wants to warn those who don’t believe in afterlife and search for the truths in wrong places by forming an example. He stands before the front door of his house, and then starts looking for something on the street which has just been swept and so is quite clean. This case draws people’s attention. - “What are you looking for, Hodja Effendi? There is nothing on the ground. Tell us what you are looking for, so we can look for it together,” they say. - “I’ve dropped my keys - four small keys which are fastened by a chain,” says Hodja. They become quite perplexed. - “There is nothing around. Where have you lost your keys?” they ask. - “In the basement,” Hodja replies. - “Why are you looking for them here, then?” they ask. - “It is dark inside; nothing can be seen there. So I’m looking for the keys here as you look for Heaven in taverns,” says Hodja. Advice: The first condition of attaining our goal is determining a goal and striving for it. We shouldn’t look for Paradise we have lost in wrong places.

82 The state of those who wake up in this world

They give Nasreddin Hodja 999 gold coins in his dream. While he is saying “Give me one more so that there will be 1000 gold coins. Otherwise I won’t accept it,” he wakes up. He sees that there are neither the gold coins nor the ones who offer them around. - “Oh, my God! What does this mean? While one who wakes up in the world to come will find everything ready before one, one who wakes up in this world loses all the property one has.” Advice: Afterlife is eternal. But life in this world is as short as a dream. We shouldn’t be entrapped by unwariness acting prudently.

83 The dead on leave On a very hot summer day, Nasreddin Hodja digs a grave. When he is about to finish his work, he sweats so much that he takes off his shirt and flannel. Just at that time cavalry soldiers appear in the distance. They see Hodja as a naked man in the grave and call out: - “You chap! What are you doing in the grave?” - “It is my grave. They don’t give us any garments here. I’m off today so I’m looking around!” Advice: If we deposit currency in the bank of ‘Afterlife’, we won’t be like the naked man there.

84 Move your house to the field! - “My house doesn’t get the sun at all,” someone complains. - “Does your field get the sun?” asks Hodja. When the man says “Yes”, Hodja says: - “Then don’t avoid God’s sun and move your house to the field.” Advice: It is not a shame not to know, but not to learn (a Turkish proverb). We should consult the knowledgeable people before we act.

85 I slept by the spring While Nasreddin Hodja is travelling from Akşehir to Konya, he stops at a village on his way and stays as a guest in a villager’s house. When it is bedtime, the man asks: - “Hodja Effendi, are you sleepy or thirsty?” As the man doesn’t offer anything to eat, Hodja says quite normally: - “While I was travelling, I slept well by the spring.” Advice: If we want others to treat us generously, we should learn to treat them generously first.

86 They make it a star Someone, who fancies he can mock Hodja, asks him: - “When the moon becomes crescent (new moon), what happens to the old moon?” Nasreddin Hodja retorts with a clever answer: - “They clip it and make it a star.” Advice: In Yâsin (one of the suras of the Koran) / 39th verse, Allah (God) points out that the moon takes different forms so that we can know the time. In fact the moon is always the same. We should give a nice witty answer to a humorous question.

87 It becomes “ip” The villagers pronounce the name “EYYÛB”

wrong as Eyip, iyip, iyp. One day Nasreddin Hodja preaches: - “Oh, moslem! Don’t name your sons Eyyûb. It becomes “ip” (ip means cord in English) getting shorter and shorter (thinner & thinner) by being uttered many times by the public.” Advice: We should love our native tongue very much and protect it as we protect our most precious thing. No matter whether one is a professor in ordinary if one cannot speak one’s own language properly.

88 Stewed fruit with ice in Ramadan

On a hot summer day, Nasreddin Hodja is invited to dinner in Ramadan. They serve a pot of cold stewed fruit first. The shrewd host takes a ladle in his hand and gives each quest a dessert-spoon. Each time the host eats the stewed fruit with the ladle, he says; - “Oohhh, I’ve died!” Hodja and the other guests try to eat it with the small spoons in their hands; but they can neither get the taste of the stewed fruit nor get rid of their thirst. And the stewed fruit on the table is about to finish up. Hodja cannot keep silent and says to the host: - “Effendi, you’re dying and then reviving again and again. That worries us very much. Please give that ladle to us so that we’ll die instead of you!” Advice: Humorous jokes make our life more colourful helping us forget our worries if we don’t exceed the limits of morality and decency.

89 Escape to the river! Nasreddin Hodja gathers twigs and bushes in the forest and loads them on to his donkey’s back. Then he sets off to go to the village. On the way Hodja and the villagers who have returned from the forest have a talk together. The villagers say: - “We can escape from Hell. We can escape from fire and get into water. Also when one is put into the grave, you prompt one what to say. We say what you say and redeem ourselves.” Hodja sees that they ignore his warnings. He strikes a match to kindle the bushes on the back of his donkey. - “If you have reason, escape to the lake,” he whispers to his donkey. As the flames rise higher, the villagers say excitedly: - “Mercy! What have you done, Hodja? The poor animal is going to burn fiercely.” Hodja is quite calm: - “Don’t worry! I prompted the donkey what to do.” Advice: A mere hint is enough for a sensible person while loud remarks are in vain for a dull one. We should be sensible, God willing!

90 Any affair concerning him goes wrong

One of Nasreddin Hodja’s relatives has got some bad habits. Hodja cannot dissuade him from behaving like that despite all his efforts. A child comes running towards the attendance that is leaving the mosque after the prayer: - “So-and-so fell into the river while he was strolling on the riverside. He is fighting against fierce waves.” Hodja comes to the riverside quickly with a few friends and starts walking towards the direction the water is coming from. The villagers: - “The water is flowing towards the other direction, Hodja. We should look for him downstream, shouldn’t we?” Hodja nods his head: - “Yes, but you don’t know how peevish and cross this man is. Any affair concerning him goes wrong.” Advice: Those who don’t give up their bad habits persistently are as mistaken as those who think that water flows upstream. We should interpret the advice of ones who know correctly and take advantage of them.

91 Don’t be together with it in the world to come!

Nasreddin Hodja fells firewood in the forest, loads it on to his donkey and sets off to return home. On his way home comes across an indiscreet man. - “Oh, Hodja! How peacefully you two friends are travelling together!” says the man. Hodja retorts: - “Ah! Don’t be misled by your brother’s peaceful appearance. Sometimes it becomes obstinate and lies into mud; sometimes it brays untimely like an indiscreet man; and sometimes it goes at a gallop. Beware! Don’t be eager to be together with it in the world to come.” Advice: Humans are responsible for every moment they live. Also we shouldn’t forget the fact that we have been created as the noblest of all beings.

92 If camels had wings One day Nasreddin Hodja preaches on the pulpit of the mosque: - “Well, attendance! Thank Allah (God) that He didn’t create your camels with wings.” The attendance hesitates for a while. They think that how nice it would be to fly in the air and to travel so fast if their camels had wings, and wonder what Hodja means by saying that. Then someone from the attendance asks: - “Wouldn’t it be nice, Hodja?” - “If camels had wings, they would alight on the roofs of your houses and the roofs would collapse on you,” replies Hodja. Advice: We shouldn’t find a fault in Allah’s (God) creatures. We should try to understand the divine motives beneath the appearance.

93 If you don’t believe me, count up the number of stars!

One day Nasreddin Hodja preaches in Konya. - “Moslems! The air of this city is the same as the air of our city,” he begins to speak. Someone from the attendance asks: - “How do you know that?” - “The number of stars in Akşehir is the same as the number of stars in Konya. If you don’t believe me, count up the number of stars, then,” says Hodja. Advice: Watch the starry sky at night when the weather is clear and meditate on our Creator’s omnipotence, might and art seeing the order and harmony that have never been spoilt despite the fact that all these stars are moving so fast at the same time. If we try to count the numbers without sleeping at all in one year, we can only count up to 31.536.000 considering we count 60 numbers in one minute. (60 x 60minutes x 24 hours x 365 days = 31.536.000) We know that there are hundreds of milliards of stars in the Milky Way.

94 Don’t disturb the wolf While Hodja is felling firewood in the forest on a winter day, a hungry wolf suddenly attacks and devours Hodja’s donkey which has been tied down the slope; and then it escapes upwards: Someone sees the event in the distance and calls out: - “Oh, Hodja! A wolf has devoured your donkey and it is going away!” Hodja first looks at the carcass and the bones of his donkey and then the wolf which is running up the slope. - “Don’t tire yourself in vain, Effendi. We can’t change what happened. At least don’t disturb the satiated wolf which is trying to run up the slope!” says Hodja. Advice: We should learn to see the events from different angles. Why is a football match on TV broadcast from twelve or even more than twelve cameras?

95 If his imam is Timur the Lame

One day Hodja asks one of Timur Khan’s men: - “Whose sect do you follow?” The man puts his hand on his chest and says: - “Emir Timur’s.” Someone there calls out: - “Hodja Effendi, ask him who his prophet is too.” Hodja: - “If his imam is Timur the Lame, we don’t need to ask anything else, then.” Advice: We should follow right leaders and imams. Whose guide is a crow will never get his nose out of dung. (a Turkish proverb)

96 Chewing-gum, which is valuable property

One day they invite Nasreddin Hodja to a feast. The guests sit together around big copper trays, which are used as dinner tables. When they start to eat, one of the guests takes out the gum in his mouth and sticks it on to the edge of the huge copper tray. Then Hodja takes the gum on the edge of the copper tray and sticks it on to the tip of the man’s nose. - “Hodja Effendi, Couldn’t you put it somewhere else?” they say. Hodja wags his head: - “This man’s property is valuable. It should always be before his eyes!” Advice: In public we should avoid the behaviours others dislike.

97 After the pitcher has been broken

Nasreddin Hodja wants his son to go to the fountain. He slaps his son’s face after giving him the pitcher. Then he says: - “Beware! Don’t break it!” Those who see what’s happened say: - “What are you doing, Hodja Effendi? The boy hasn’t broken the pitcher. Why are you beating the child, who is entirely innocent?” Hodja says: - “Beating is of no use after the pitcher has been broken!” Advice: We should take adults’ warnings into consideration. One who likes one’s own mind and follows it only is like a man who wastes his limited lifespan trying to rediscover the known.

98 What the strap endures

While Hodja is ploughing the field with his oxen, one of the straps with which the oxen are tied to the plough breaks off. Hodja ties his turban to the plough instead of the strap which has broken off. The turban breaks off too as soon as he pulls it. Hodja speaks to his turban: - “Oh, my turban! Did you now understand what the strap endures?” Advice: Children deem life easy while their parents endure the troubles of life; the turban isn’t roughly handled likewise when it is carried on the head. When one takes a responsibility, one can understand its difficulties then.

99 I haven’t talked to it recently After the evening prayer Nasreddin Hodja wants to stroll in the bazaar in Konya until the bedtime prayer. He sees a well-dressed man who is looking at the round moon in the sky. When Hodja approaches him, the man calls out: - “Effendi, how is the moon today?” - “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to it recently.” Advice: When the moon is quite round, we call it full moon and the moon takes the shape of full moon on the fourteenth day of every month according to the Hegira calendar. In fact the man wants to learn the date. It is not enough to be well-dressed; we should also be sensible.

100 The air in the bellows Nasreddin Hodja lights a fire with his bellows and then hangs them on the wall after plugging their mouth so as to prevent mice and insects from going inside. - “Why are you plugging the mouth of the bellows?” they ask. - “Well, if I don’t plug it, the air in the bellows will be wasted. I don’t like extravagance!” Advice: Hodja, who finds a direct answer superfluous as the reason for that can be understood by thinking just a little on it, hints that extravagance is not good with an indirect answer.

101 A place where you can’t find any sweets or pastries

Nasreddin Hodja comes home after conducting the midday prayer. A funeral procession coming from another mosque appears in the street. The dead person’s relatives lament his death: - “You’re going to dark places! In those regions there is neither light nor fire. There are neither sweets nor pastries!..” Hodja says to his wife: - “Oh, dear! Bolt the door, be quick! This funeral procession is certainly coming to our house!”

Advice: Our ancestors, Adam and Eve, had been in Paradise. Allah (God) had prohibited only one thing in order to test their faith. They didn’t keep their word and so were descended into the world. The number of questions in the test of patience have increased in this world. Those who are obedient will find Heaven’s honey and pies ready before them. Maybe those who are disobedient will be deprived of honey and pies forever. We should try to succeed in the test.

102 It’ll go out to play with the walnuts

One of Nasreddin Hodja’s neighbours is pregnant. She feels pains, but cannot give birth. Some women come to see Hodja: - “Ah, Hodja! We don’t know whether you’ll say a prayer or something else. Say what you know so that the poor woman will be free from her sufferings.” Hodja goes to the grocer’s shop immediately saying to the women waiting there he knows the cure for that, and comes back with some walnuts in his hand. - “Take these and scatter them into the room. As soon as the baby hears the clatter of the walnuts, it’ll go out to play with them.” Advice: When we need help with the matters that require expertise, we should ask the experts for help.

103 An unexpected guest One evening someone knocks at the door. Nasreddin Hodja stretches out his head out of the window and calls out: -“Who is it?” A voice in the dark: -“I’m God’s guest.” (an unexpected guest seeking hospitality in a house for the sake of God) Hodja recognizes him by his voice – a man from the village where formerly, Nasreddin Hodja was appointed as an imam. Hodja knows that the man never used to go to mosque!.. He goes downstairs and takes him directly to the mosque holding his hand: -“Here’s the place you’re looking for. This is God’s home. You can stay as a guest in here as long as you wish!” Advice: We should always visit God’s home, not only when we’re in trouble like the man who looks for shelter and lodging saying he is God’s guest.

104 The balance of Earth One day they ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Effendi, when it is morning, some people go in this direction and some go in that direction. Why?” - “If all of them went in the same direction, Earth would be off balance and overturn!” replies Hodja. Advice: If we pay attention to the fact that we do various kinds of things in various different places for life, we can understand the order and balance in the world. It doesn’t matter what profession we’ve chosen, we should do our job very well.

105 Maybe I would be lost too They invite Nasreddin Hodja to a wedding with musical entertainment, rejoicing and carousal. They persuade him to go there. He gets ready to go to the wedding, but just at that time he loses his donkey. While he is looking for his donkey, - “Thank God! Thank God!” he says incessantly. - “Why are you saying, ‘Thank God’?” they ask. - “Thank God that I’m not on it. If I was on it, maybe I would be lost in that crowd too. God forbid!” Advice: We should manage to avoid going to the places which can harm our moral values.

106 Sibling Strife One day when Nasreddin Hodja is at home, one of his neighbours knocks at the door in a hurry. - “Ah, Hodja! In our house my wife and my sister-in-law are brawling and fighting rigorously with each other. I intervened in the brawl but couldn’t manage to stop it. Come and help me!” says the man. Hodja asks: - “Why are they brawling? Is it a matter of age?” - “No. It’s because of another matter,” says his neighbour. Hodja says wagging his hand: - “Then don’t worry, my son. Keep calm! The two sisters must already be reconciled with each other!” Advice: We should be careful not to mention the matter of age superfluously about which women are very sensitive.

107 I’m a Billy goat One day they ask Nasreddin Hodja an unnecessary question: - “What is your star sign, Hodja?” - “Billy goat,” he says. When the people there say: - “But Effendi, there is not such a sign.” Hodja replies: - “They told me that I was a Capricorn when I was a child. My star sign can’t always remain as a Capricorn. It must already be a Billy goat until now.” Advice: We should avoid augury which is totally unrealistic.

108 If it has something to do with the wadded turban

A Persian gives Hodja the letter that has come from his homeland: - “Hodja, Could you read it?” Hodja looks at the writing which is both illegible and Persian. - “One who knows Persian can read it. I don’t know Persian. Also the writing is illegible,” he says. The Persian becomes furious. - “Ha! You are wearing a wadded turban that’s as big as a mill stone, but you can’t still read this letter!” he grumbles. Hodja takes off his wadded turban immediately and puts in on the Persian’s head:

- ”If it has something to do with the wadded turban, here you are, you wear it, and read the letter, then!”

Advice: Every language has its own rules. There are many languages written with the Latin characters. Can we read all of them correctly? We shouldn’t be like the ignorant Persian confusing what is in the head and what is on the head.

109 Donkeys of today A parvenu buys a showy horse. He passes Nasreddin Hodja rapidly, who is riding his donkey, and goes away. Then he returns and rides his horse towards Hodja. He stops by his side and speaks to him in a disdainful manner: - “How is the donkey going?” Hodja replies: - “The donkey of today! It’s going together with the horse!” Advice: Does wealth make a man of base origin a gentleman? Even if you put a gold-embroidered packsaddle on to a donkey, it’s still a donkey. We should never forget that we can merely be exalted by education.

110 The one who doesn’t know Friday

Hodja performs the Friday prayer in a mosque in the town he visits. While he is leaving the mosque together with the crowd, a man passing there approaches Hodja: - “Effendi, what day is it today?” - “I’m a stranger here. I don’t know your days,” replies Hodja. Advice: We (only men) are obliged to perform the Friday prayer, so we must certainly fulfil this divine obligation which cannot be fulfilled subsequently.

111 You didn’t let him do it like a man

A man becomes very thirsty while he is going on the country road on a summer day. He enters a market garden which he sees on the way to pick a watermelon in order to appease his thirst. Just when he is about to pick the watermelon that draws his attention, the watchman of the market garden scolds him standing before him with a stick in his hand: - “What are you doing here?” The man speaks in a puzzled and also a bit frightened manner: - “Well, I’ve relieved myself.” There are big ox faeces by chance in the place the man has crouched. - “Oh, man! Do you think I’m a fool? Those are ox faeces!” Nasreddin Hodja, who witnesses the event while passing there, scolds the watchman: - “It’s your fault! You didn’t let him do it like a man.” Advice: We shouldn’t enter a market garden without permission. Asking permission is good. We may not meet Nasreddin Hodjas, who settle disputes.

112 Tell him not to forget his head! A rich man from Akşehir invites Hodja to his house. Hodja goes there on the settled day. While the man is sitting by the window, Hodja knocks at the door: - “I’ve come to visit your exalted effendi,” he says. - “He isn’t at home, he has gone out,” they say. - “Give your master my best regards and tell him not to forget his head by the window again before he goes out.” Advice: We should keep our promise on principle to be respectable.

113 You’ll get used to indigence Someone makes ducks and drakes of a fortune he inherited from his father without thinking whether it is a good deed or a bad one for God. When nothing remains in his possession, he talks to Hodja about his troubles: - “I’m in great difficulty. I’m about to beg in the street. Find a remedy for my afflictions.” - “Don’t worry, my son! You’ll be free from your sorrows soon,” says Hodja. The spendthrift gets excited: - “Will I be rich again, Hodja?” - “No, my son. You’ll get used to indigence. You’ve spent your Afterlife capital here too.

When you get used to it, maybe you won’t suffer much there.” Advice: We should evaluate our time in the best way. Our life capital is diminishing rapidly day by day.

114 It has given birth to a colt without tail

Nasreddin Hodja returns home tired and hungry. As soon as he sits at the dinner table to eat the wheat pilaf his wife has cooked, his neighbour’s child knocks at the door: - “Hodja Effendi, hurry up! My dad is calling you urgently!” Hodja goes there and sees that his neighbour’s ass has given birth to a colt without tail. He calls him to learn its reason. When Hodja returns home after a short while, his wife asks: - “Effendi, why did the neighbour call you?” Hodja answers in a bit discontented manner: - “Oh, dear! Once in a blue moon, we, husband and wife, would eat wheat pilaf in private; but the neighbour’s ass gave birth to a colt without tail!” Advice: When we want something for ourselves, we shouldn’t bother other people.

115 The accounts will be settled

While Nasreddin Hodja is walking in the street, a man approaches him from behind and slaps his nape. Hodja applies to Cadi (judge), but this man is a close friend of Cadi’s. He tries to reconcile them with each other, but he can’t succeed. As he has no alternative, he says: - “I’ve decided that the one who gave a slap unjustly must give the injured party one silver coin.” Then he turns to the man and orders him to bring one silver coin making signs with his eyes. The man goes and Hodja starts waiting for him to bring the silver coin. As a long time passes and Hodja understands that the man won’t come back, he quietly approaches Cadi, who is trying to read the paper in front of him, and gives him two slaps on the nape. - “I’ve got some business to do, Cadi Effendi. I’m going to conduct the afternoon prayer in mosque. Take one silver coin from me and take one silver coin from that man. Thus the accounts will be settled,” he adds giving him a silver coin. Advice: Order and peace can only exist in societies where judges are fair. We shouldn’t forget that “Just” is one of the most beautiful names of Allah (God).

116 An insatiable guest One of Nasreddin Hodja’s friends stays as a guest in his house. They eat and drink, and also have a pleasant chat. Just when they’re going to bed late at night, the guest says: - “Our hands, our hands; before they go to bed, they eat grapes!” Hodja sees that eating and drinking will not come to an end. - “We haven’t got such a habit. We keep the grapes to eat them in autumn,” he says. Advice: Gluttony harms our health. We should get used to eating as much as we need.

117 God grant One day while Nasreddin Hodja is relaying the roof of his house, someone knocks at the door. Hodja calls out from the roof: - “What do you want?” The man at the door says: - “Can you come downstairs?” Hodja goes down and opens the door. - “What do you want?” he asks. - “I want alms,” says the man. - “Come upstairs,” Hodja says. After they come to the roof, Hodja turns to the man: - “God grant!”

Advice: We should always think well before we act, and know how to behave properly according to the situation.

118 He didn’t listen to me when he was in life

When Nasreddin Hodja is working as an imam in Sivrihisar, he quarrels with the police magistrate of the town, who is a peevish man. After sometime, Police Magistrate dies. They want Hodja to conduct his funeral service and prompt him the articles of the faith of Islam after the burial. Hodja says: - “Find someone else! He never listened to me when he was in life. Also we had quarrelled before he died. Who knows! Maybe he doesn’t follow my advice once more being obstinate!” Advice: We should listen to religious and moral advice given to us when we are in life.

119 Yataghan used as an eraser

The police magistrate of the city forbids the public to carry arms. By a bad coincidence Hodja is caught with his huge yataghan (a kind of curved scimitar) while he is going to the madrasah (Moslem school). Police Magistrate asks taking out the yataghan under his gown: - “What’s this?” - “I scrape the mistakes in books and notebooks with this,” says Hodja. - “O, Hodja! As far as I know mistakes are scraped with a pen-knife. Is it ever possible to scrape incorrect scripts with this huge yataghan?” asks Police Magistrate. - “Oh, Agha! Sometimes there are such mistakes that even this is not big enough to correct them,” replies Hodja. Advice: As books are permanent works, the mistakes in them, which harm society, can even cause fights and wars. Note: Formerly, people used to scrape the mistakes in books and notebooks. Today we erase them.

120 I was in it too Hodja’s neighbour asks him: - “Hodja, what was that noise in your house? I heard great noise while I was going past your house last night.” - “Oh, dear! My gown fell down our wooden stairs,” says Hodja. - “Oh, Hodja! Does a gown make such noise?” asks his neighbour. - “I was in it too!” replies Hodja. Advice: We should also manage to talk about a small event without exaggerating it and make people smile.

121 He falls off the donkey One day while Hodja is riding his donkey fast, he falls over. Some children gather around him: - “O! Hodja has fallen off the donkey! Hodja has fallen off the donkey!” Hodja stands up after collecting himself: - “Nice kids! You should know that one who mounts the donkey absolutely dismounts it for one reason or another and so does one who mounts (comes to) this world.” Advice: Before we dismount (leave) the world, we should be well-prepared for the place we’ll go to.

122 Why do we exist? Some children ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Hodja Effendi, why did Allah (God) create humans?” - “We are in this world to ascend, to pay debt, to be moderate and to earn honestly so as to own a house in the country of eternity, my sons,” he replies. Advice: When we are taken to that place where we won’t have a chance of earning or taking something from someone, we will truly become bankrupt if we don’t have valid money. We should save valid money here for our afterlife. They don’t grant a palace to one who has brought money only sufficient for a shanty.

123 In dust and earth while hunting wolves

Hodja and his helper Imad go hunting wolves. Imad suddenly enters the den to catch a cub. Just at that time its mother arrives. Hodja catches the wolf by its tail just before it enters the den. As the wolf

starts struggling to escape, Imad, who doesn’t know what is going on, calls out from within the den: - “What are you doing, Hodja Effendi? You’ve raised a great dust around!” - “Pray that the mother wolf’s tail doesn’t break off! If it breaks off, you’ll see the real dust and earth!” Advice: We should do our best to take the necessary measures.

124 I’m looking for “sleep” in the streets

While Hodja is strolling round the town at midnight, Police Magistrate, who is responsible for public order and safety in that age, sees him. - “Effendi, what are you looking for in the street at midnight?” asks Police Magistrate. - “My sleep has escaped … So I’m looking for it!” replies Hodja. Note: “My sleep has escaped” is an idiomatic expression it Turkish which means “One can’t sleep because one doesn’t feel sleepy.” Advice: We should always be polite when we are doing our duties.

125 They’ve daunted the logs Nasreddin Hodja wants to light a fire on the hearth to heat the meal. But the logs don’t kindle at all although he uses chips, twigs and grass. When he blows to kindle them, the ashes soil his clothes blowing around. Hodja goes to his room, puts on his wife’s mantle and wears her kerchief on his head so that his clothes won’t become dusty and ashy. Meanwhile the logs become hot and start to burn when blown once. - “Oh, I see!.. I see!.. Our women have even daunted the logs,” he says. Advice: We should accept that everyone is more dexterous in his / her own job.

126 What if chicks mourn The inhabitants of the town go on practising a custom that is not acceptable in Islam in spite of Hodja’s warnings. Relatives of the dead person get dressed in black and mourn for their dead kin. One day Hodja’s hen dies and he ties a piece of black cloth round the necks of the dead hen’s chicks. His neighbours ask: - “What happened to these chicks, Hodja Effendi?” - “Their mother died… So they are mourning for her getting dressed in black!” replies Hodja.

Advice: Old laws are not applied any longer when legislators put new laws into force. Today do our courts judge according to Ottoman Code or Modern Code of civil laws? As Islamic Code, which is the latest one, is in force, the others were abolished. One who follows the old code deceives oneself, then. We should learn and practise our religion.

127 I’ll consult the donkey Nasreddin Hodja sees in the distance that his neighbour, who borrowed his donkey, is treating the animal cruelly while returning from the vineyard. One day Hodja’s neighbour wants his donkey again. - “Wait a minute! This time I’ll go and ask the donkey,” says Hodja. He enters the stable and comes back after a short while: - “I’m sorry but I consulted the donkey and he said no. ‘When you lend me to other people, they are both beating me and cursing you!’ he said.” Advice: We should use the effects which have been given to us in trust with great care. Also we shouldn’t forget that our bodies have been entrusted to our souls.

128 Do you believe the donkey’s word?

When the attendance is leaving the mosque after performing the morning prayer, someone asks Hodja: - “Hodja, can I borrow your donkey if you don’t need it today? I’m going to the bazaar.” - “Certainly! Come and take it,” replies Hodja. - “Hodja, I’ll go and tell it to my wife so that she can make some preparation. I’ll come and take it in an hour,” says the man. Hodja arrives home. Someone knocks at the door after a short while. Another neighbour asks: - “Hodja, I’m going to the mill. Can you lend me your donkey today?” - “The donkey isn’t present,” replies Hodja. Just at that time the donkey brays from the stable. - “But the donkey is in the stable, Hodja!” says the man. - “Oh! Do you believe me or the donkey?” says Hodja. Advice: We should still act politely when we don’t comprehend an event thoroughly.

129 Timur Khan’s value Hodja and Timur are having a bath in the hammam (Turkish public bath). - “Hodja, can you estimate my value?” asks Timur. - “You’re worth forty Ottoman coins,” says Hodja. Timur gets angry and frowns: - “Oh, Hodja! Only this bath towel on me costs forty Ottoman coins!” Hodja: - “I essentially estimated the value of the bath towel. I dare not estimate your merit! Allah, the Absolute Ruler will let you know your exact value without underestimating or overestimating it when the time comes. I don’t meddle in His affairs.” Advice: Man should never forget that he isn’t left uncontrolled.

130 He measured it and now he’s leaving

An acquaintance of Hodja asks him: - “Hodja, how many yards is Earth?” Just at that time a funeral procession passes by. Hodja shows the coffin: - “Ask him! Look, he measured it and now he’s leaving!..”

Advice: We should learn about our world. We should inquire about its diameter, the perimeter of the equator, its interior and exterior structure, how many km per pour it revolves on its axis and round the Sun, whether there is a mistake in its orbit. How do these innumerable stars and masses stay orderly in space? Can this infinite order be by chance?

131 He sits back to front on the donkey

While Hodja and some of his friends are riding their donkeys, Hodja falls behind the others. His friends say: - “No, Hodja! You go ahead of us.” Hodja rides at the front. This time he feels uncomfortable as he has turned his back to his friends. He sits back to front on his donkey. They go on chatting on the way. Some people who see them ask: - “Oh, Hodja! Why are sitting back to front on the donkey?” - “Anyhow, most of us put the cart before the horse in this world!” replies Hodja. Advice: We should tolerate some petty difficulties and faults in order not to hurt our friends’ feelings and break their hearts.

132 Is it convenient to chew gum in the toilet?

- “Is it convenient to chew gum in the toilet?” they ask Hodja. - “I haven’t encountered a precept about this matter, but you had better not chew it,” answers Hodja. - “Why not?” they persist in asking. - “Well, ones who see you going out of the toilet chewing something in your mouth may think that you’re eating something from there.” Advice: Ones who are occupied with details without learning the gist are hindered by details.

133 What does the guest in the sky eat?

Nasreddin Hodja starts to work in a village far from his home in order to preach and conduct the ritual prayers and the night service of worship during the holy month of Ramadan. They give Hodja a room in the village. Hodja doesn’t bring his family as he has a short-term job; and he stays on his own in his room. While he is preaching in the village, sometime he mentions Jesus Christ’s elevation to the sky. When he leaves the mosque, an old woman comes near to him: - “Hodja Effendi, you said Jesus Christ had been elevated to the sky, but you didn’t explain what he ate and drank there!” - “Oh, woman! I’ve been a guest in this village for days. You haven’t asked even once what your guest eats and drinks, but you’re asking what the Prophet who had been put up as a guest in the sky ate and drank!” says Hodja. Advice: We should show concern for our guests. We should try to content God treating them with what we have.

134 I beat the daughter of the one who beats my wife

Nasreddin Hodja’s wife goes to her father’s house. The father slaps his daughter’s face as she vexes him while they’re talking. When the woman comes home, she tells Hodja what happened. She complains about her father. When Hodja hears his wife complaining about her father, he stands up and gives a slap on her face too. Then he adds: - “Go and tell your father: If he beats my wife, I beat his daughter like this!” Advice: We should always show affection and respect for our mothers and fathers. Even if they are wrong, we shouldn’t complain about their behaviour to other people.

135 Four-footed ducks One day Nasreddin Hodja is preaching in mosque. When he notices some people from the attendance are yawning and some of them are dozing, he goes on his speech like this: - “One morning I was outside Akşehir. Four-footed ducks were drinking water by the brook.” As soon as they hear the words “four-footed ducks”, they open their eyes and start to listen to Hodja carefully. Upon this Nasreddin Hodja says: - “Oh God! What kind of men are you? I’ve been preaching seriously for some time, but you were dozing. When I made up a grotesque lie, you were all ears.”

136 When you go home, smear tar on the goat!

One day a peasant brings his scabby goat to Hodja: - “Breathe on it, Hodja! Your breath is strong.” After saying some prayers and blowing on the sick animal, he turns to the peasant:

- “I’ve blown on it, but you should also take the

necessary measures. When you go home, smear tar on the goat.”

Advice: We should consult an expert before we do anything we don’t know. (Hodja Effendi doesn’t want to offend the peasant. He knows well that scab microbe doesn’t live in airless places and its cure is tar.)

137 The sign of the Doomsday They ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Hodja, what is the sign of the Doomsday?” - “I don’t care!” says Hodja. - “Mercy, Hodja! If you say you don’t care either, who can we ask to learn it?” they ask. - “I said I don’t care. If everybody says <I don’t care!>, then this is a sign of the Doomsday!..” replies Hodja. Advice: In sound societies, the problems of society concern everybody. Everyone should take risks to find a solution. There is a nice idiom in Turkish, “Everybody must put their hands under the stone.”

138 Donkey’s reading Nasreddin Hodja praises his donkey while he is talking to Timur: - “I can even teach it how to read if I want.” - “Then teach it! You’ve three months!” says Timur. Upon this decree Hodja starts to train his donkey. He puts its fodder between the leaves of a big book; when the fodder finishes, he instructs it to turn over the pages with its tongue. He hungers the donkey for three days before the end of the trimester. As soon as the three-month period of time is up, a big book is put on the table. “Beware! Don’t bray in the presence of Timur Khan!” is written on its first page. Then the donkey is brought. The hungry animal turns over the pages one by one with its tongue. As it can’t find anything to eat, it starts to bray looking at the people there. - “It’s peculiar! The donkey doesn’t understand what it has read,” grumbles Timur. Hodja speaks to Timur: - “See! A donkey reads as such. I’ve instructed hundreds of them up until now.” Advice: The purpose of reading is learning and using the knowledge attained, isn’t it?

139 The one who has the blue bead

Nasreddin Hodja has two wives. They don’t get on well together and they are jealous of each other. Hodja secretly gives both of them a blue bead and speaks to each one in private: - “Don’t show this bead to your fellow-wife!” One day his wives argue with each other again and force Hodja to tell the truth: - “Tell us quickly! Which of us do you love more?” - “The one who has the blue bead is the queen of my heart. I love both of you very much,” says Hodja. - “Hodja loves me more,” they say innerly and go back to their work smiling. Advice: Managing people is an art. We should settle unnecessary arguments without giving up the truths at all. We should act tenderly and find solutions to the problems of people we are responsible for according to the circumstances.

140 The one who gives the money blows the whistle

While Nasreddin Hodja is going to the bazaar, some children in the neighborhood ask him to bring each of them a whistle. “OK,” says Hodja. Only one of the children pays for the whistle he has ordered. When Hodja returns from the bazaar in the afternoon, the children rush towards him and want their whistles. Hodja gives a whistle to the boy who gave the money. The boy starts to blow his whistle. - “Where are our whistles?” ask the other children. - “The one who gives the money blows the whistle,” replies Hodja. Advice: First we should fulfil the necessary requirements, then we should expect something to happen.

141 If you don’t know the wrong side of something

They ask Nasreddin Hodja a silly and teasing question: - “On which side is your nose?”

Hodja doesn’t get angry at all and shows his nape immediately.

- “You’re showing just the opposite side, Hodja Effendi,” they say. - “If you don’t know the wrong side of something, you can’t understand the right side of it,” replies Hodja. Advice: If there were no fools, could clever ones appreciate their wisdom? Disdaining people is unacceptable according to both Islam and public morality. We should try to speak and act decently.

142 Good appetite! Tamerlane sends for some of the notables of Aksehir to become acquainted with them. He orders his servants to serve out sherbet (a cooling drink) to the guests. They wait for Tamerlane to start first. When he finishes drinking his sherbet, one of the flatterers slips up und says “Good day!” instead of saying “Good appetite!”

Tamerlane looks sourly at his face. Hodja wants to intervene: - “My Sultan, they say like this in our town.” Advice: If we correct a small mistake before it gets bigger, we may protect the people around us. Timur Khan is a cruel Mongol. He likes shedding blood. Our Nasreddin Hodja settles the matter agreeably.

143 He gets what he deserves A rich man from Aksehir gives Nasreddin Hodja 50 Ottoman coins and says: - “Hodja, take these and pray to Allah (God) for me in your prayers at five appointed times a day.” Hodja gives him back the 10 Ottoman coins: - “You haven’t performed the morning prayers for a long time. So you can’t get your portion of the morning prayers. But I can take the money you’ve given me for the others. I can’t accept the money I don’t deserve.” Advice: Our Hodja points out clearly that praying to Allah (God) just after performing the divine service at five appointed times a day is very important and wealth doesn’t make anyone privileged. Ones who understand Islam very well know the excellence of morning prayers and try to benefit from them.

144 You’re grazing where I left you

Nasreddin Hodja tells the attendance in mosque that people should heed the advice given to them, constantly try to learn something, and live a better life increasing their knowledge. - “Don’t forget the order which says ‘Learn from the cradle to the grave’. It is a religious obligation for every Moslem man and woman to pass from imitative faith to verified faith,” he says, but he can’t see much awareness in them. One day when they go to the forest together, they set their donkeys free on a flat grassy area. Hodja turns to the donkeys: - “Graze here a bit. Then go this way, there the grass is better. Then go that way, there is some fresh water and the grass is much better.” They come back to take their donkeys after they’ve finished their work. They see that the donkeys are grazing in the place they first left them. Also they are not satiated and feel thirsty. Hodja scolds the donkeys: - “I gave you some advice and showed you the way, but you’re still grazing where I left you. Come on, go direct to your stable now!”

Advice: We should always develop ourselves in every field and never forget the warning which says “One whose two days are equal sustains loss”. We should learn and take advantage of today’s developing science, and try to use the new technology in what we do. The situation of those who don’t read or research at all after they have left school is the same as the situation of those who are grazing in the place where they have been left, isn’t it?

145 Fire! Nasreddin Hodja, who feels very hungry, plunges his spoon hastily into the hot and peppery soup of dried curds, and gulps it down quickly. His mouth and throat burn very much. So he jumps to his feet shouting: -“Stand aside! ... My stomach is on fire!” Advice: Almost everyone has burnt themselves a few times in their life while eating hot soup. How nicely our Hodja is telling his pain! We’ve got a nice proverb that says, “One whose mouth was once burnt with hot milk blows on the yoghurt before eating it.” That is “A scalded cat dreads cold water.” We test the heat of the soup first before we eat it, don’t we?

146 Dream Nasreddin Hodja goes to visit Timur Khan with a few friends. They chat a bit and drink sherbet. Then Timur Khan remembers the dream he had the previous night. He calls his spahees and orders: - “Find so-and-so and bring him here at once. He did me harm in my dream. Hang him on to the tree in front of me!” The soldiers go to look for the man immediately. Nasreddin Hodja asks permission from Timur Khan to leave. - “Why are you in a hurry, Hodja Effendi? Sit down!” says Timur Khan. - “My Khan! I must go home to pack up my belongings and then go hastily somewhere very far from Akşehir. It’s beyond my control to come or not to come into your dreams at night. What can I do then if it happens?” replies Hodja. Advice: Nasreddin Hodja wants to save the man whom Timur Khan orders his men to hang warning him in a very polite way. If you become powerful one day and people do whatever you say, don’t abuse your power acting selfishly. Keep in mind that every human being is worth the world. You should know the Creator of that person can judge you severely when the time comes.

147 Man’s division One day four children come to Hodja. They put a bag of walnuts before Hodja and say: - “Hodja Effendi, we can’t share out these walnuts. Could you divide them up among us?” Hodja asks: - “Do you want Allah’s (God) division or man’s division?” - “We want Allah’s division,” the children say. Hodja opens the bag. He gives the first child five handfuls of walnuts; the second one three handfuls of walnuts; the third one two walnuts. He doesn’t give any walnuts to the fourth child and says: - “You owe ten walnuts to your friend whom I’ve given five handfuls of walnuts.” - “What sort of division is this, Hodja Effendi?” they say. - “Well! Allah’s division is like this to test His creatures. Allah grants some of His creatures a lot; some of them a little; and doesn’t grant some of them any. If you’d wanted man’s division, I’d give out the walnuts to everyone in equal numbers.” Advice: If everything was humdrum in the world, there wouldn’t be diversity, but monotony. Everybody has to find the most suitable answers to the exam questions asked to them in this world. According to their circumstances, ones who give the correct answers will be granted boundless treats in Heaven. Paradise isn’t free!

148 Instalment One of Nasreddin Hodja’s friends from Akşehir wants Nasreddin Hodja to lend him ten gold coins by instalments. - “My friend, I also have some financial problems these days, so I can’t give you money; but I can give you as many instalments as you like!” Hodja says. Advice: We should try to meet others’ needs and help them get rid of their troubles. But also we should definitely keep our promise. How nice even Hodja’s refusal is, isn’t it?

149 We can’t save you from there An ugly-voiced man from the attendance who doesn’t know musical tunes and methods goes up the minaret and starts calling for the prayer. Nasreddin Hodja calls out upwards standing under the minaret: - “My boy! Why are you shouting? You’ve climbed such a branchless and knotless tree that we can’t easily save you from there now!” Advice: Being eager to call for prayer is a nice desire, but those who have been trained should do that. Nasreddin Hodja warns the muezzin (Moslem crier of the hour of prayer) saying, “You’re shouting as one who climbs on top of a tall branchless and knotless tree in the forest shouts.”

150 Wear them with pleasure and joy!

The cadi (judge) of Sivrihisar sometimes drinks. One day while Nasreddin Hodja is strolling in the country with his students, he sees Cadi, who is lying dead drunk on the riverside. His gown is on one side, his turban and wadded hat are on the other side. Hodja wears the gown on his back, the wadded hat on his head and wraps the turban round the hat; and goes home. The next day when Cadi comes to himself, he orders his men: - “Catch the man who has my gown and turban and bring him to me!” After a short while, the court constable sees Nasreddin Hodja who is strolling in front of the court house with Cadi Effendi’s gown and turban on. He drags Hodja to the hearing room as soon as he catches him. The folk follow them to learn what’s happening. Cadi bellows with rage: - “Hodja! Where did you find the gown on your back and that wadded hat?”

- “Yesterday I went for a stroll with my disciples. We saw a decent well-dressed fellow who was lying blind drunk by the stream. His gown was on one side, his wadded hat on the other side… I put on his gown and wadded hat so that thieves could not steal them. Cadi Effendi, if you know their owner, tell me. I’ll give them back,” says Hodja. Cadi speaks with a soft voice trying to collect himself: -“How can I know him? Never mind! Wear them with pleasure and joy!”

Advice: Cadi Effendi, who punishes those that drink, doesn’t observe the law which prohibits the use of alcoholic drinks. Our Nasreddin Hodja teaches him an unforgettable lesson. If laws are applied equally to everyone, then there is justice.

151 The one who sees the light is

jumping out Hodja’s neighbour’s wife is pregnant. She feels pains at night. The women in the neighborhood call the midwife in a rush and bring her to the house. The midwife calls out from within soon after: - “Your wife has given birth to a boy!” The man becomes happy. After a short while the midwife calls out again: - “Your wife has given birth to a girl!” The man is surprised a bit: - “Oh, Hodja! How will we look after the twins in this severe winter?” Meanwhile, the midwife calls out again: - “Your wife has given birth to another girl!” - “Oh, midwife! Blow the candle out quickly! The one who sees the light is jumping out. This poor man has already enough trouble!” says Hodja. Advice: The future of nations depends on the education and training children receive. Great things cannot be achieved with little men, in other words with inadequately educated people. We shouldn’t forget that all children are our future. Our mothers and fathers are just a means for our coming to the world. Soul is given to the fetus, which is a piece of inanimate flesh, after the sixth week by Allah, the Almighty (God) so as to be tested in that family. From that moment forward, the baby is entitled to enter the World, which is a trial room for Heaven. Let’s think about young people’s endeavors for years in order to get into university.

152 I’m eating air One of the fellow travellers treats Nasreddin Hodja with some powder of sweet roasted chickpeas telling him to open his hand while they are going to their fields in Aksehir on their donkeys. As he is trying to eat the powder in the palm of his hand, the wind starts to blow and it blows the powder off. Someone sees Hodja on the way and asks: - “Effendi, what are you eating?” - “If the wind goes on blowing like this, I’ll eat air!” Advice: We should take the circumstances into consideration before we do something. Otherwise we can encounter unforeseen difficulties even in doing the easiest thing such as eating some ready food.

153 A pair of baggy trousers

and underpants Tamerlane speaks to the people of Aksehir: - “Send your boldest man to me. I’ll charge him with a very important duty and I’ll pay well for that.” A few youngsters from Aksehir take Nasreddin Hodja with them and come to the presence of Timur Khan, who is making his troops have target practice with arrows.

- “Let’s try these gallant men in turn. One of you stand in front of the target,” says Timur Khan showing his guests the target board. A youngster stands in front of the target board as he has no alternative. Timur Khan orders him to open his arms and legs, and stand erect in that position. He signals one of his archers. The sharpshooter shoots an arrow and it passes between the man’s legs. Then he signals the other one. The second arrow pierces the sleeve of his cloak. The third arrow pierces his fez. Timur Khan sees that the man stands still upright. - “Well done! I liked you very much. You’re a brave man. Give this gallant youngster a new caftan and fez,” he orders his men. Nasreddin Hodja, who sees the wetness and excrement oozing out of the legs of the man’s baggy trousers, says to Timur Khan: - “My Khan, order your men to give him a pair of baggy trousers and underpants as the gallant youngster’s cannot be used again.” Advice: One has the right to defend one’s life. Moreover Allah, the Almighty (God) orders and authorizes us to protect this important right. It is so bitter to be defenceless in the presence of a tyrant, isn’t it? As tyrants will always exist till the Doomsday, we must work hard to make progress in science and technology, which will protect us and our society, in order not to suffer cruelty. Otherwise being gallant only does not mean anything when one is a living target for the well-equipped tyrant.

154 All of them taste the same One day Nasreddin Hodja picks two baskets of grapes from his vineyard in Akşehir, loads them on to his donkey and sets forth. When he arrives at his neighborhood, some children assemble around him and want grapes: - “Hodja Effendi, let us taste these grapes!” Hodja takes a big bunch of grapes from the basket into his hand and distributes it to all the children. - “You’ve given us a thimbleful of grapes, Hodja Effendi!” they start to grouch. -“It doesn’t matter whether you eat a thimbleful or a basketful… They all taste the same!” says Hodja. Advice: If he gave a bunch of grapes to each child, those in the basket might not be enough for all of them. When we want something from someone, we should be moderate.

155 In a case of lute

When Nasreddin Hodja is working as a cadi (judge) in Aksehir, someone comes and says: - “So-and-so in the bazaar has stolen my lute.” He sues the man. The suspect is brought up before the court. - “You’ve stolen this man’s lute,” says Cadi Effendi to the accused. - “I haven’t stolen his lute. This is my lute. I’ve got witnesses,” replies the man. The adduced witnesses say that the owner of the lute is the defendant. They also explain some of its features such as the number of strings it has. The plaintiff objects to the witnesses. - “I don’t accept their testimony. One of them dances at weddings, the other sings, and the third one …” Hodja interrupts him: - “Oh, man! How can you find better witnesses than these men in a case of lute?” Advice: According to the legal principles of that age, the testimony of rouges, fakers and liars … etc and also the testimony of people from some occupational groups were not accepted. The plaintiff wants to remind Cadi Effendi that the witnesses are from one of those groups. But as the case is about a lute, Hodja makes a very appropriate decision, doesn’t he? We should always take into consideration that every case might have its own particular conditions.

156 The Ascension ladder

Some wise priests want to ask Nasreddin Hodja a question that they think he cannot answer. - “Hodja Effendi, we want to ask you something. How did your prophet rise to the heavens for the Ascension?” they ask. - “How? He ascended there using the ladder which had been fixed to elevate Jesus Christ to the fourth heaven.” Advice: The Ascension of Prophet Mohammed is a phenomenon that is very difficult for people to understand. Jesus Christ’s elevation to the fourth heaven is a miracle that’s very hard to understand likewise. Can you imagine how many billions of light years are the fourth heaven far from us? It is said that the dimensions of our universe are 70 billion light years. That is to say light, which is known is to travel 300.000 km per second, needs 70 billion light years to reach even the end of the universe. However, this distance was covered in a very short period of time during the Ascension as his bed was still warm when he returned. But it is an extremely easy deed for our Creator who has boundless power and knowledge. We need to analyse quarks and even smaller particles in order to understand the constitution of matter. When we study the structure of molecules of the matter, and then the structure of the atoms which constitute that molecule, we can comprehend the great power that is put into those tiny particles. We see that electrons, which consist of light

particles, continuously revolve in an orbit. Who is turning these electrons that revolve round the atomic nucleus in a particular orbit without decelerating or accelerating since a time that can be called perpetual? Some use a meaningless expression such as, “They revolve by themselves.” When you spin a top, does it spin forever? The structure of the negative charged, positive charged and neutral particles that constitute atom is much more miraculous. In the centre there are four heavenly light particles of little or no proportion with infinite energy called quanta. They are encircled by an area like plasma from a very long distance. While the speed of light is 300.000 km per second, the speed of quantum particles that constitute light is billions of times faster than the speed of light. Those who want to understand the divine order a bit should benefit from today’s sciences of physics, chemistry and astronomy. We should read scientific journals and publications, and also make use of other opportunities. For instance, there are 65 billion iron atoms on the head of a pin. There are 57 particles in each atom. There are 4 quanta in each particle. If the nucleus of atom were a sphere of which diameter is one meter, the orbit of the nearest electron would pass 109.000 meters far from it. The distance of heavenly light particles called quanta to their plasmas is the same as that. Only if we cling to science, we can attain “verified faith” without a doubt. We shouldn’t forget the warning in a verse of the Koran that says, “Only the learned fear Allah (God) thoroughly.”

157 If you’re great Timur Khan’s soldiers’ horses enter the fields of people of Aksehir and damage the crops. They ask Nasreddin Hodja to talk to Timur Khan, so he goes and tells him their wish. Suddenly Timur gets angry. - “Oh, Hodja! How can you dare tell this to a conqueror like me, who holds the world in his claws?” he starts to shout. Hodja doesn’t care at all and says calmly: - “So what? If you’re a great sovereign who rules over the world, I’m the imam of Aksehir which is a small town where even sovereigns live!” Advice: Worldly posts and offices are just a means of test for man who is travelling to infinity. The important thing is what we do in that position under those circumstances. How nicely these lines by our estimable poet Cengiz Numanoglu express our aim in life! “Some ranks are written on a gravestone; They wear away in torrents of time. Some ranks are written in the skies of Paradise; They are carried to eternity.” Which rank do you want to have?

158 Thank God!

Nasreddin Hodja fills a basket with fragrant big bright yellow quinces and sets off. A man Akşehir sees Hodja on the way and greets him. - “Where are you going, Hodja Effendi?” he asks. - “I’m going to give a present to Timur Khan,” replies Hodja. - “You had better give him figs. Look, how nice and mellow the figs are! The quinces may be hard,” says the man. Hodja empties the quinces into his garden. He picks the figs diligently and puts them into the basket. When he comes to the presence of Timur Khan, he presents his gift to him. But Timur Khan doesn’t like figs at all. - “Throw the figs at this man’s head one by one,” he orders his men thinking Hodja has brought them on purpose. Hodja, who has been caught in a rain of figs, says “Oh, Thank God!” each time a fig hits his head. - “Oh, Hodja! What does this mean? You thank God each time it hits your head,” says Timur. Hodja again says “Thank God! Thank God!” and adds: - “What if I hadn’t followed my friend’s advice and had brought the quinces!..” Advice: In Anatolian Seljuk and Ottoman culture, there is a proverb, “Remember me with a walnut, even if it is rotten.” We value even a rotten walnut. Gift giving is advised by our religion. We should accept the gifts offered to us indulgently.

159 How many feet does your donkey have?

While Nasreddin Hodja is going to his field by Lake Akşehir, a priggish fellow asks: - “Hodja Effendi, how many feet does your donkey have?” Hodja comes off his donkey. After touching its legs one by one, he says: - “It has got four feet.” - “Hodja, don’t you know how many feet your donkey has? Why have you counted them?” they ask. Hodja smiles: - “I know, but I hadn’t looked at them since last night. I counted up again thinking that they might have been stolen.” Advice: If we encounter such a rude and frivolous question, we should be able to give an exemplary answer without being offensive. The procedure in Islam tells us to evaluate the news brought by immoral people after absolutely verifying it. Furthermore, does the man, who asks how many feet the donkey has, indicate some other problem? Our Hodja checks his donkey’s feet to be sure. He also implies that thieves can steal absurd things.

160 Fasting of one who kisses his wife…

They ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “If a man kisses his wife, is his fast broken?” Hodja smiles: - “Yes if they are newly married. If two years have passed since they got married … I don’t know that. But if three years have passed, it isn’t broken.” Advice: If only it was possible to let our love stay as it started. We should appreciate every day we live for our felicity in this world and in the world to come.

161 They hollowed out a radish One day a puckish friend of Hodja says: - “If you know what’s in the palm of my hand, I’ll stand you a kaygana.” - “Give a clue,” says Hodja. - “A roundish thing of which inside is yellow and outside is white,” says the man. - “I know, I know! They hollowed out a radish and then put a carrot in it,” says Hodja.

Advice: “Kaygana” is an oriental dish made with flour, butter, cheese, salt and eggs. When Nasreddin Hodja wanted a clue, he thought he would choose between cheese and one of the others. But the one who asked the riddle explained it so clearly that it would be childish to say “egg”. Do you like “kaygana”, which is part of old Turkish cuisine? I think everyone has eaten “kaygana” at least once in their life. But unfortunately today we use the word “omelette”, which is adopted from foreign languages into Turkish, instead of “kaygana”, which is originally a Turkish word! +++ In 1995s, we were touring Iznik. At that time we entered a shrine in which there was also the tomb of Grand Vizier Candarlı Kara Halil Hayrettin Pasha. There were two tombs side by side. On the gravestone there were some writings in Ottoman Turkish. None of us, including those who had graduated from a vocational religious school, could manage to read them exactly. When we came to the gate of Iznik city walls, we saw a group of Greek tourists reading the historical writings engraved on the stones easily and we felt really sad. They were able to read and understand the scripts written by their ancestors on the stones of the ramparts two or three thousand years ago. What a pity that we couldn’t read the tombstones of our forebear! Europeans regard Greeks as their roots. They proved right! +++

162 One looks for the other one’s donkey…

Police Magistrate’s donkey has been lost. The inhabitants of the town start to look for the animal. - “You search the vineyards,” they say to Nasreddin Hodja Hodja both looks for it and sings folk songs gaily. Those who see Hodja say: - “You’re merry, Hodja. What are you looking for in the vineyards?” - “Police Magistrate’s donkey has been lost, and I’m looking for it,” he says. - “Why are you singing songs while you’re looking for the donkey?” someone asks. - “Well, one looks for the other one’s donkey singing songs!” replies Hodja. Advice: Our forefathers say, “Fire burns the place it drops in”. The others will lose nothing if a wolf devours Police Magistrate’s donkey. But Hodja does his duty as a neighbour and doesn’t neglect to look for the donkey. We shouldn’t forget that neighbours always have some rights on one another.

163 My turban is playing with the children

While Nasreddin Hodja is riding his donkey at a gallop, he drops his turban on to the ground. The children of the neighborhood snatch the turban from the ground. They keep turning and playing with the turban throwing it to one another like a ball. As Hodja sees that he won’t be able to take his turban easily from their hands, he goes home leaving it behind. - “Effendi, where is your turban?” his wife asks. - “It remembered its childhood, so it is playing with the children,” Hodja replies. Advice: Turban is an inanimate thing. Of course it can’t play with the children voluntarily. If our Nasreddin Hodja strived to take his turban from the children, he would appear to be playing ball together with them. If he took his turban from the children scolding them, he would offend them. But Hodja returned home leaving his turban to the children and didn’t hurt them for a turban. He told his wife the event he’d experienced briefly. We too should be tolerant.

164 He is used to taking something Nasreddin Hodja goes to the vineyards with the notables of Akşehir to have a picnic. They eat their meal and then fruit under the big trees. The police magistrate of Aksehir who is well-known for his riches and stinginess starts to walk in the vineyard. He both picks and eats the fruit on the trees, and walks looking at the branches to find ripe fruit. He suddenly falls into a large well in the market garden as he doesn’t watch his steps, and starts to shout for help. In order to save him from there, Police Magistrate’s friends, who are standing at the edge of the well, say: - “You’re gonna drown, give your hand quickly!” They stretch out their hands, but Police Magistrate, who is struggling in the water, doesn’t hold anybody’s hand. Hodja rushes to help. He holds on to something firm at the edge of the well with one hand and extends the other to the man. - “Take my hand!” he says. Police Magistrate grips Hodja’s hand tightly at once, and he is taken out of the well. - “Hodja, why didn’t Police Magistrate hold none of our hands, but yours?” the others ask somewhat puzzled. - “He is used to taking something, not giving. You said ‘Give your hand!’, but I said ‘Take my hand’!”

Advice: One can rid oneself of stinginess, which is a kind of disease, by learning to mend one’s ways. It is not possible to get rid of stinginess with riches. We should take good people as an example. On the other hand, if Police Magistrate held the hand of one of those people who extended their hands rashly without holding on to something firm at the edge of the well, he would probably cause them fall into the well too.

165 The mule is standing back to front

During the time Nasreddin Hodja has a post at court as a cadi (judge), some people apply to court to complain about their neighbours concerning various issues. They claim that they are definitely right in each case, but their neighbours definitely wrong. To clarify one of the objects at issue, they need to go to the land. The plaintiffs bring Hodja a mule to mount. Hodja climbs up on to the mounting block on the left of the mule. He puts his right foot in the stirrup and mounts the animal springing. As Hodja faces the tail of the animal, the people there laugh. - “Why are you sitting on it back to front, Hodja?” they ask. - “I’m not sitting back to front. This animal is standing back to front!”

Advice: One who mounts an animal for the first time usually puts one’s wrong foot in the stirrup and so sits back to front. Here our Hodja also teaches the plaintiffs who always consider themselves right a thought provoking lesson, doesn’t he?

166 If I had six fingers One of the richest people of Akşehir invites the notabilities of the town to a feast in his house. A chicken that is attentively roasted is put in everybody’s plate. They start to eat. While Nasreddin Hodja is eating the chicken with an appetite holding it in his hand, one of the well-mannered men at the table makes an improper remark against Hodja: - “Hodja, why are you eating with five fingers?” - “Because I don’t have six fingers!” replies Hodja. Advice: In fact, nobody likes to eat a roast chicken with a fork and a knife. When we eat chicken with our hands, we enjoy it fully although our fingers get greasy, don’t we? We should avoid being bound by strict rules all the time.

167 The ones who don’t know should learn from the ones who know

Nasreddin Hodja often talks about the Devil’s tricks again and again on the pulpit. As he sees the attendance doesn’t follow his advice, one day before starting his preaching, he says: - “Attendance! I want to explain the Devil’s tricks to you again today. Do you know a little what I’m gonna tell you?” - “We don’t know at all,” they say. - “If you don’t know anything about it, what can I tell you?” he says and turns to another subject. When he comes to the pulpit next week, he asks the same question again. - “We know,” they say. - “As you know it, I don’t need to explain it to you,” he says and turns to another subject again. One week later, Hodja repeats his question on the pulpit. This time some people from the attendance say “We know”; some say “We don’t know” acting shrewdly. - “Then the ones who don’t know should learn from the ones who know!” he says and turns to another subject again. Advice: The Devil is striving incessantly to make man fail the test in this world. Those who don’t know the Devil that is an obvious enemy of man has very little chance to pass the test. Ones

who get good marks in this test will be put in Paradise. Ones who don’t will undergo Hell. Can a sensible person be indifferent to such a momentous matter?

168 If Azrael comes Nasreddin Hodja’s wife emulates other women and wears make-up like them applying kohl on her eyebrows and rouge on her cheeks. Hodja warns his wife, who overdoes it, but he sees that she doesn’t want to listen to his advice. One day he says: - “From now on, wear make-up and doll yourself up nicely every day, darling! Put on your new clothes and be present by my side like that.” Surprised by these unexpected words, his wife says: - “Oh, Effendi! Why did you change your mind?” - “I don’t feel well at all these days, dear! Be present by my side in your best finery in case Azrael, the Angel of Death comes and likes you, and so takes you with him instead of me!” says Hodja. Advice: Nasreddin Hodja frightens his wife, who doesn’t listen to him well, with Azrael. It is not considered agreeable to go too far regarding the things we are allowed to do. Rushing into extremes is criticized in Islam. We are advised to be moderate.

169 Some parts which haven’t

been exposed to daylight Hodja goes to Konya and then returns to Akşehir. While he is chatting with his wife, he says: - “There are lots of pretty fair women.” His wife feels offended: - “They don’t work in the sun from morning till evening as I do.” Hodja can’t help saying: - “Don’t get hurt, dear! But I also know some parts of your body which haven’t been exposed to daylight!” Advice: Some people are excessively touchy. If someone says, “It’s gonna rain”, they say “Do you mean I’m a duck?” It is not good to be insensitive, but it can be really boring to be very touchy.

170 As long as you aren’t in it They ask Nasreddin Hodja: - “Should we walk before or after the coffin in a funeral”? - “As long as you aren’t in the coffin, it doesn’t matter whether you’re walking before or after it!” Advice: It could be one of us, who is in the coffin. If we are not the one who is being carried away in order to be interrogated, we can walk anywhere we want. It doesn’t matter for now!

171 When you hear about ready money, how cheerfully you laugh!

A man owes his friend a great deal of money. He can’t pay his debt as his business isn’t going on well. One day the creditor duns him and wants his money back. The debtor starts to explain calmly: - “I’ve planted shrubs by the wayside… While sheep are passing by the bushes, their wool will be caught in them. I’ll pick the wool on the bushes. My wife will spin it into thread and knit jumpers. She’ll sell them in the bazaar. Thus I’ll pay you my debt!...” The creditor starts to laugh bitterly feeling annoyed. He almost attacks the debtor. Nasreddin Hodja, who hears what they’ve talked, says: - “You shrewd fellow! When you hear about ready money, how cheerfully you laugh!” Advice: We should pay back the money we borrowed at the earliest opportunity. However, sometimes we can meet with so many problems one after another that in spite of all our efforts, we fall into a hopeless case as this debtor does. In Islam, it is advised to pardon a Moslem who is under the pinch of necessity in order to help him/her. In the anecdote, it is obvious that Nasreddin Hodja speaks in a soothing manner.

172 As our people don’t understand Arabic

A man from Akşehir stays in Arabia for about two years. He goes to Mecca & Medina; and performs the rites of pilgrimage. When he returns, his neighbours visit him and ask him the things they are curious about. With his little Arabic he attempts to translate and interpret the subjects that are beyond his capacity pretending to be a scholar. One day Nasreddin Hodja and a few people from the attendance go to visit the man. This time he goes too for and translates the hadiths (Prophet Mohammed’s maxims) wrong. The people who see that Hodja says nothing think the man learnt Arabic in a very short time. Someone from the attendance says: - “Hodja, our friend learnt Arabic very well. If we go there, can we learn it too? Is Arabic easy?” - “Don’t worry! As our people don’t understand it, you can speak concocted Arabic!” replies Hodja. Advice: Our forefathers say, “The most cultivated is one who knows one’s own defects.” As Hodja says nothing, the man falls into the case of one who tries to sell cress to a cress-seller. (It is a Turkish idiom meaning “to try to teach one a subject one is an expert on.) That is he carries coals to Newcastle. We should be prudent about the subjects we are not an expert on.

173 Am I wrong to feel sad? Nasreddin Hodja’s wife, who is a devout believer, dies. They bury her. As life is going on, everybody is busy with their work. One month later, Hodja’s donkey dies too. Hodja becomes very dejected and doleful. One day his friends, who see that he is very thoughtful, say: - “Hodja, you look upset, but why?” - “I’m sad about my donkey’s death,” says Hodja. - “Hodja, you weren’t so sad even when your wife died!” they say. - “When my wife died, in the evening following the funeral, all of you were telling me ‘Hodja, don’t worry! We can find someone better than her and marry you.’ One month has passed since my donkey’s death, but none of you have come and told me ‘Hodja, don’t worry! We can buy you a better donkey’,” says Hodja. Advice: Life is a field of test for every man. We don’t feel very sad for devout believers, who we think died having passed the test and so are travellers of Paradise. In those days, donkeys were used as a means of transport that made life easier; thus the lack of his donkey limits Hodja’s acts. In the anecdote, it is also indicated that everybody acts more generously when something doesn’t concern their purse.

174 How can he lose his reason? A faithless fellow lives in Nasreddin Hodja’s neighborhood. One day in the tea-house, someone from the attendance says that this man has lost his reason. After thinking deeply, Hodja says: - “Anyway, that man has never had reason! I wonder how a person without reason can lose his reason! …” Advice: According to Islam, only those who have reason can be pious. Those who don’t have reason are not responsible. That is to say, a faithless man who leads a devilish life has no reason at all.

175 Shall we camp in our vineyards?

On a summer day, Hodja and his friends talk about going to their vineyards a little far from Akşehir and staying there together for a few days. They dream of the beautiful days they’ll spend there and speak fictitiously: - “The lamb that will be broiled on the spit is from me.” - “I’ll bring stuffed eggplants.” - “Baklava (a kind of lozenge-shaped sweet pastry, which is a very popular Turkish dessert) is from me.” - “I’ll bring flans.” When it is Hodja’s turn, everybody looks at him: - “The prayers that will be said after the feast are from me!” says Hodja. Advice: Do you think Nasreddin Hodja’s contribution is less than the others’? We should never forget to praise Allah (God) and thank ones who treat us with something.

176 When you thread the needle Nasreddin Hodja gives his daughter in marriage. After the wedding, the groom and his relatives set off to take the bride home on horseback. After they’ve advanced a good deal, Hodja starts to run after them. When he approaches them, he calls out: - “Stop! I’ve got something very important to tell my daughter.” They stop and wait. Hodja comes near to his girl and speaks into her ear: - “My girl, when you’re sewing, don’t forget to knot the end of the thread you’ve passed through the needle! Otherwise the thread comes out of the eye of the needle and you just have the needle in your hand!” Advice: If we don’t take the necessary measures in time even when we are dealing with something minor, some problems we never want to encounter may arise. If a woman who is frying food in a pan in her kitchen doesn’t grip the panhandle but holds it loosely, the pan may fall down or it may turn upside down. Then let’s think about the problems she may encounter. Nasreddin Hodja gives us an unforgettable piece of advice saying, “Don’t forget to knot the end of the thread!” by which he means that “My girl, be on good terms with your new family and establish strong relations with them.”

177 I had my tooth taken out and got free from pain

A man comes and tells Nasreddin Hodja: - “I have a sore eye, Hodja. Can you breathe on me?” - “A few days ago I had got terrible toothache. I went to the dentist. I had my tooth taken out and so I got free from pain. You go to an oculist. Have your eye taken out and get free from pain!” Advice: We should definitely consult an expert to find the remedies we need. Our Hodja strikingly points out that one can lose even one’s eye when remedies are looked for in wrong places.

178 Since you’ve got all of them Hodja goes and asks a well-to-do grocer from Aksehir who is ignorant of fasting and the divine service - the prayers performed at five appointed times a day in Islam: - “Have you got flour?” - “Yes,” says the grocer. - “Have you got butter?” - “Yes.” - “What about honey?” - “Yes,” he says again. - “Oh, man! Since you’ve got all of them, why don’t you make and eat helva (a kind of popular Turkish sweetmeat), then?” Advice: People sadly realize the value of the things they have only when they lose them. We understand that we could do lots of nice things with the boons we have been granted in life when we are old. Our estimable poet Cengiz Numanoğlu asks in one of his poems: “…While you’re waiting indolently in a corner, what opportunities you miss! Are you aware of that?” We should be careful not to miss the opportunities.

179 Eat, my fur, eat! They invite Nasreddin Hodja to a feast. Hodja wears his casual clothes and goes there. Nobody cares him much. He goes home immediately, and puts on his newest and most ostentatious clothes. He puts on his fur too. He comes to the mansion where he has been invited for the feast again. As soon as they see him at the door, they welcome him with great respect. They take him upstairs and make him sit in the place reserved for the most honoured guest. They serve the best meals to him first. Each time a dish is put before him, he says holding the collar of his fur coat attentively: - “Eat, my fur, eat!” - “Hodja, what is that? Does fur ever eat a meal?” they ask. - “What can I do? The host is serving these meals to my fur. I warn my fur beforehand in order not to have a problem with it later on,” Hodja replies. Advice: One of our proverbs says, “Don’t be deceived by appearance!” But man is a social being. It is necessary to wear suitable clothes for the place we are going to. On the other hand, what’s important is the value of the thing that’s in the package although first impression is got by appearance. Putting a piece of stone into a splendid package cannot improve its value, and putting gold or brilliant into a simple package cannot reduce their value likewise. The old generation used to say, “Don’t look at the envelope, but the letter!”

180 You apply starch too A sore forms under the tail of Nasreddin Hodja’s donkey. As it hurts, the animal has difficulty in walking. An experienced man tells Hodja that it is effective to apply starch to the sore lightly. When Hodja arrives at the bazaar, he buys some starch. He applies a bit to his donkey’s sore. The suffering animal starts to walk quickly. Then Hodja encounters one of his acquaintances on the way. The man has difficulty in walking and he is trying to go on foot after his donkey, which is going at the front its back empty. - “Why aren’t you riding your donkey?” asks Hodja. - “Awful! I suffer from piles and it has become intolerable. I can neither ride the animal nor walk properly. I must find a remedy,” replies the man. - “My donkey was walking with difficulty too. I applied starch to its sore and its walking has improved. If you want, I can give you some too. After you apply it, you’ll see how you walk quickly,” says Hodja. Advice: We should appreciate our health and always thank Allah (God). We should also look for remedies at the right addresses.

181 Only two onions in all Nasreddin Hodja reserves a certain quantity of the vegetables he has sown in his garden beforehand as yearly alms for the poor. When the crops ripen, he harvests the ones grown in those parts and distributes them to the poor. One day when he goes to see to his garden, he stoops down and pulls two onions which have newly grown green in the part reserved in order to be given as alms. When he is about to shake off the soil on them, a thunderbolt strikes a place nearby and then a terrible clap of thunder is heard. Hodja plants the onions in his hand in the garden again. - “Thank God! I was about to be guilty just because of two anions. You, my God, have sobered me down,” he says. Advice: Our deeds are evaluated according to our intentions. Since Nasreddin Hodja reserves the share of the poor in the beginning, henceforth those crops are just entrusted to him. Angels record Hodja’s intention of giving alms in the relevant book immediately. We are warned by a verse of the Koran, which says “Keep your promise.” Also isn’t it one of the most important qualities of Moslems to be reliable and to protect what’s entrusted to them?

182 Neighbours - “Can a hundred-year-old man have a child from his twenty-year-old wife?” they ask Hodja. - “Yes, he can if they’ve got a neighbour who is about twenty-five or thirty years old,” Hodja replies. Advice: One of our proverbs says, «Don’t build a house in the bed of a stream, floods take it away; Don’t heap thrashed grain on top of a mountain, winds take it away; Don’t marry someone very young when you are old, strangers take him/her away…» We should behave in accordance with man’s nature.

183 Toward the place where you put your clothes

A man wants to perform a full ablution in Lake Akşehir. He asks Nasreddin Hodja: - “Toward which direction should I turn while I’m bathing? Toward Kaaba?” (Moslems turn toward Kaaba in Mecca, which is a holy place for them while praying.) - “Turn toward the place where you put your clothes. Otherwise you may have all of them stolen and be left stark naked!” Advice: One should do the things one’s going to do in order of importance. For instance, it is wrong to deal with extras and small details leaving off doing what’s obligatory. Neglect in acting prudently always causes harm.

184 A hammam in the gallery of the minaret

Someone from the attendance ascends the minaret to call for bedtime prayer. He starts to call for it in a hoarse voice. Only the ones at the bottom of the minaret can hear his voice. When the man comes down after finishing it, Nasreddin Hodja asks him: - “We could hardly hear you from here. Didn’t you know that you’ve got a weak voice?” - “Hodja, I went to the hammam (Turkish bath) yesterday. There was not a soul. I called for prayer there in such a booming voice!” the man says. - “Please don’t call for prayer from the minaret again until a benefactor makes a hammam built in the gallery of the minaret,” Hodja says. Advice: In those days, the present microphones and amplifiers hadn’t been invented yet. Ones who had a strong and deep voice, and knew the method and tune used to call for prayer. Due to the structure of hammams, voice echoes and sounds loud. Our forefathers say, “The stone is heavy in its proper place,” which means the value of a thing depends on its appropriate use.

185 It resembles a hen The police magistrate of the town shoots a stork. He wants to embalm it, that is, he wants to empty it out and dry it, and then put the stork on the shelf after stuffing it again. He tries to balance the stork he has emptied out in an upright position. As its beak weighs heavy, he can’t keep its neck erect; and as its legs are very long, he can’t make it stand on its feet. He thinks up a solution. He cuts the stork’s beak and makes it like a hen’s beak saying, “How long the stork’s beak is!” He also shortens its legs saying they are too long. He completes his work and puts the stork in his office. One day Nasreddin Hodja goes to visit Police Magistrate. - “What is this, Hodja?” Police Magistrate asks showing the embalmed stork standing on the shelf behind him. - “Even a stork resembles a hen in your dexterous hands!” replies Hodja.

Advice: You know there are some clumsy people. They take fine materials in their hands and try to make something out of them. Each time, they cut some part of the material; they file and scrape some other part of it. Then they see that the huge material is of no use since they’ve made it as small as a bird. Seeking a fault in creatures is because of one’s own nescience and ignorance. As people gain knowledge, they become aware of the perfect design in creatures and admire it. One who has created them is omniscient and thoroughly knows every kind of creation. Do you think the office of Police Magistrate, who is ignorant of natural disposition, makes him respectable?

186 The grace of Allah One day Nasreddin Hodja is running home raising the skirt of his gown to protect himself from the heavy rain. His neighbour speaks out of the window: - “Why are you running, Hodja? Does one ever run away from the grace of Allah (God)?” - “I’m not running away from the grace of Allah, I’m just running not to trample it!” Advice: Hodja’s neighbour uses the word <grace> in a narrow sense. Nasreddin Hodja, who gets soaking wet in the rain, cuts it short since he has to go home as soon as possible. <Grace> expresses all of the boons Allah, the Almighty, has granted us as a manifestation of one of His beautiful names, <Ar-Rahman, the All Compassionate and the Most Beneficent>. Only if we use or consume the boons as much as we need, they are beneficial to us. For example, we drink water as much as we need. It doesn’t make sense to drink a bucket of water. In fact, the neighbour’s question isn’t wrong. If you were Nasreddin Hodja, how would you answer it? As you’ve read this book, you too can show that you’re Nasreddin Hodja’s grandchildren.

187 An uncle like Timur Khan A man from Aksehir takes his donkey, which has grown very old and so isn’t able to render a service any more, to the mountain; and sets it free there. He buys himself a new donkey. A few days later, Timur Khan goes out hunting. He sees the donkey that was left in the mountains. A cunning idea occurs to him. - “Find and bring the owner of this donkey to me! Take the donkey to my imperial tent now!” he says. They find and bring the owner of the donkey to Timur Khan’s presence. Timur Khan orders: - “You’ll come here every day. You’ll bring the donkey’s fodder and barley. You’ll curry it. You’ll walk through the market place together with it and make it drink water from the fountain there. If the animal has difficulty in walking, you’ll help it and you’ll even take it on to your back. Otherwise I’ll have you beheaded!” The man obeys the orders, but at the same time, he becomes the laughingstock of the public. Sometimes he struggles to take the donkey on to his back dripping with sweat. - “Look at this donkey, which is pleased with its life! It isn’t even going to the water on foot. But I can’t afford a donkey,” someone in the market place calls out.

Hodja, who sees what’s going on, can’t help saying: - “It isn’t an ordinary donkey. It has got an uncle like Timur Khan! It can go on the back of anyone it likes whenever it wants.” Advice: They say <The suffering of the nightingale is due to its tongue>, which means <Talking too much is the source of one’s trouble.> If the words of the man that makes allusive remarks reached Timur Khan’s ears, the donkey, which is pleased with its life, might go on his back too. There may not always be a «Nasreddin Hodja» present, who warns those that are prating.

188 The burglar can never get away free and safe

A burglar breaks into Nasreddin Hodja’s house. He steals some of his effects and goes out of the house. Somebody notices him as he’s running away and calls out towards the inside: - “The burglar who’s broken into your house is escaping that way. Let’s run and catch him!” Hodja puts on his shoes, goes out and starts to run toward the graveyard quickly. They call out after him:

- “Hodja, you’re running in the wrong direction. The burglar’s escaped this way, not that way!” - “I may not catch him up if I chase him in that direction. I’ll go to the graveyard and obstruct his way. I’ll certainly catch him there,” says Hodja. Advice: There are certain stops from where people can never escape and be set free: • The first stop is a cemetery, that is, our life in

the grave. • The second one is the aggregation of all

people in Arasat –the supposed place of assemblage on the Day of Judgment.

• The third one is Divine Court. • The fourth one is the place where the

judgment of court will be fulfilled. The place of punishment is Hell; the place of reward is eternal Heaven.

• Even a thing as small as a mote won’t be able to be kept secret in Divine Court. One’s own organs will bear witness against one or in one’s favour as well, and one whose right was violated will definitely be given one’s right back.

Nasreddin Hodja was running in the right direction, wasn’t he?

189 An atheist’s forty questions An impious man who has unnecessary arguments with people asking them unnecessary questions comes to Aksehir. - “I want to talk to the greatest scholar of this city,” he says. They take him to Nasreddin Hodja. - “Effendi, I’m going to ask you forty questions. You must give only one answer to all of them,” the man says. - “OK, ask them!” Hodja says quite indifferently. The man asks the forty questions successively. Hodja, who listens to him with all his ears, gives his answer when the questions come to an end: - “I don’t know.” Advice: Our Nasreddin Hodja gives a logical and definite answer to the questions of the man who wants only one answer to his forty questions. It is sometimes necessary to avert superfluous talk saying <I don’t know.> We aren’t obliged to answer every malicious and nonsensical question without fail.

190 Those who don’t fear their wives, stand up!

Nasreddin Hodja says that he’s going to talk about mothers’ rights on their children and women’s rights on their husbands in his sermon. - “Attendance! Those who don’t fear their wives, stand up!” Hodja says. Everybody stands up. While Hodja is looking at them puzzled, someone from the attendance says: - “Hodja Effendi, only you didn’t stand up. So you are the only one who fears his wife!” - “You’re entirely right. Allah (God) has saddled pious women’s husbands with such important responsibilities that I just stay put when I remember my responsibilities!” Advice: We are in this world in order to be tested on the eternal life. Every person, man or woman, is going to answer the exam questions for each phase of his / her life. We are told that “Heaven is under the feet of mothers.” Just as a devout woman respects her husband’s rights on her to the fullest degree, every man must respect his pious wife’s rights too. This is a high-marked exam question for men to pass the “Heaven test”. How do you think those who stood up could be so sure that they gave the correct answer to this difficult question?

191 The female trouble Timur Khan brings a male elephant to Akşehir. The elephant which is wandering freely in the gardens and fields does too much harm to the crops. This elephant, which nobody dares to touch as they fear Timur Khan, causes great trouble to the people of Akşehir. So they come together and go to Nasreddin Hodja. - “Hodja Effendi, we are afraid to go and tell Timur Khan our problem. We are afraid to say something wrong and get into more trouble. Come with us tomorrow morning and be our spokesman. Let’s tell our complaint to him,” they say. The next day about fifteen men meet. Hodja at the front and the others behind him set off. Nobody says a word. Nasreddin Hodja plans his speech to Timur Khan in his mind with great care. When they approach Timur Khan’s imperial tent, Nasreddin Hodja looks behind to give his last instruction to the ones following him, but sees that there is nobody. They escape stealthily one by one because of their fear. Just at that time Timur Khan, who has gone out of his tent, sees and calls Hodja. After some talk he asks Hodja the reason of his visit. - “My Sultan! The people of Akşehir liked the elephant you brought very much. They see that the animal is bored on its own. They’ve sent me here to ask you to bring a female one as well,” Hodja says. Timur Khan is pleased with these words: - “Give the people of Akşehir regards!, I’ll do it.”

When Hodja meets the ones who have been waiting for him excitedly in Aksehir, he says: - “Timur Khan sends you his regards, and I’ve brought good news from him. The female trouble is coming!” Advice: Do you think leaving one alone who sets off to do a difficult job for the others by request should be unpunished?

192 Your geese are one-footed Nasreddin Hodja goes to visit Timur Khan. Timur Khan tells him that the people of Aksehir are doing some wrong things. Meanwhile, Hodja, who is sitting by the window, looks the outside and sees that the geese which are sunbathing are standing on their one foot. He turns to Timur Khan and says: - “How astonishing! All of the geese here are one-footed.” Timur Khan throws his walking-stick violently toward the geese. When the animals, which start to run away, use their both feet, Nasreddin Hodja ripostes: - “If you were hit with Timur Khan’s stick, you would be four-footed!” Advice: Fear and haste can make one do wrong things. If you want those under your command to be able to do right things, you should trust in them and give them some time.

193 To see clearly One night Nasreddin Hodja awakes his wife in a hurry: - “Give me my glasses quickly so that I can sleep wearing them as I’m still sleepy.” - “Oh, Effendi! What will you do with those glasses while sleeping?” - “I had a very nice dream, but I couldn’t distinguish some parts of it. If I can go back to my dream, I’ll see everything clearly through my glasses.” Advice: Dreaming is an interesting phenomenon man tries hard to solve. One can sometimes go to faraway places and sometimes go many years back in a very short period of time while dreaming. Our dreams usually seem to be the same as real life till we wake up. We don’t need any money or equipment to dream. Wearing glasses is only a witty remark.

194 The mules of the cupsellers Nasreddin Hodja tries to explain life in the grave in detail: - “When a dead person has been put into the tomb, the two questioning angels come and ask these questions: “Who is your God? What is your religion? Who is your prophet? What is your holy book? Where and how did you spend your life? Ones whose deeds weren’t good here cannot answer these questions even if they knew them in this world. Then they are tormented in their graves till the Doomsday, the big day of interrogation. Graves are either a garden of Paradise or a pit of Hell for us.” Someone bold but foolish from the attendance makes a decision on his own: - “In the evening I’ll go and lie down in a grave that has been dug. I’ll lie as if I’m dead. Let’s see whether the questioning angels will come and ask these questions!” He enters a dug grave near the road and lies down in it. But he is afraid and stands up when he hears an uproar and bells ringing at dawn. The mules of the cupsellers who set off early to reach the bazaar in due time are frightened and start to rush about. So the cups, plates and vases they’ve been carrying are broken into pieces.

The cupsellers catch the man: - “Who are you? What are you doing here?” The man stammers in confusion: - “I lay down here in the tomb last night. I wondered what the two questioning angels, Münkir and Nekir, would ask and do in the grave…” The cupsellers say, “They would ask these questions and beat you like this as well!” They beat up the man till he has fainted and go away leaving him there. While he is returning home, Nasreddin Hodja, who sees him in that condition on the way, asks curiously: - “Oh, man! What happened to you?” - “Awful, Hodja! I lay down in the tomb last night to learn what Münkir and Nekir ask and do in the grave,” the man says. - “What did you hear and see there? Did Münkir and Nekir question you? What did they do then?” asks Hodja. - “If I hadn’t alarmed the mules of the cupsellers, nothing would have happened!” replies the man. Advice: If we don’t listen to what we are told carefully and learn our lesson well, what happened to the one who had alarmed the mules of the cupsellers can happen to us as well.

195 What about the odour Someone who passes gas loudly in the presence of Hodja starts to rub his foot against the wood to conceal his fault. Hodja says smiling: - “Let’s say you’ve smoothed over the noise, but what about the odour?” Advice: Being attentive to behave decently makes one more respectable.

196 The 49th of Ramadan According to the lunar calendar, fasting starts when the Ramadan crescent is seen. (Ramadan is the ninth lunar month during which Moslems fast.) When the Shevval crescent is seen (Shevval is the tenth lunar month), people celebrate the Bairam (Moslems’ festival). Formerly, it couldn’t be exactly known in advance when and where the moon would appear making astronomical calculations like the ones made today. Reliable people used to watch for the Ramadan crescent for everyone to start fasting and then celebrate the Bairam. Sometimes it was impossible to make these observations in cloudy weather. When it wasn’t possible to see the Shevval crescent, the month of Ramadan used to be accepted as 30 days in order to celebrate the Bairam.

Nasreddin Hodja throws a stone into a pot every day so as not to lose count of the number of days. Someone puckish from the attendance notices that and secretly fills the pot with stones. On a cloudy day, he asks Hodja: - “Hodja, which day of Ramadan is it today?” Hodja goes and counts up the number of stones in the pot. They number 149. He understands it is a hoax and comes back. - “Today is the 49th of Ramadan,” Hodja says. - “Oh, Hodja! Is it ever possible?” says the puckish man. - “Thank heavens it is the 49th of Ramadan! According to the pot calculation, today is the 149th of Ramadan!” Hodja replies. Advice: In the 39th verse of Yâsîn - one of the surahs of the Koran – it is pointed out that the appearance of the moon is changed for us to know the time. The ancient Romans had accepted that a year was 354 days when they were using the lunar calendar. They added one month to three years in order to correct the difference, and so on. There is some deviation in the solar calendar too. (1 year is 365 days, 5 hours, 47 minutes, 46 seconds.) One day is added to February every four years. Some corrections are made for the remaining fractions sometime in centuries. For example, 10 days were deleted from calendars on October 4th, 1582. <Time> is perfectly calculated by today’s technology. We should evaluate this anecdote according to the resources of the 13th century.

197 The donkey whose owner died One of the best hunters of Akşehir girds on his weapons and goes out hunting. Every time he goes out hunting, he shoots a few wolves as well. The hunter’s son, who learns that his father hasn’t returned yet although it is late in the evening, goes to search for him together with the neighbours. They hear his donkey braying in the forest. They rush toward that direction and see the hunter’s cold body a bit further on. They understand that he died by natural death a few hours ago. His rifle is also present by him. They look towards the direction the cry of the donkey comes from and see that a pack of wolves is devouring the donkey having strangled it. As Hodja sees that there is nothing to do, he calls out towards the wolves that are devouring the donkey quickly: - “Let it be so! Go on eating it! You’re pleased to find a donkey whose owner died!” Advice: If the hunter hadn’t died, the pack of wolves couldn’t devour the donkey; they couldn’t even approach it. At least the hunter could shoot and kill some of them.

A note to the reader The English alphabet doesn’t have the letters “ç, ğ, ö, ş, ü”, which are in the Turkish alphabet. We used some of these letters in our book when writing proper nouns such as Akşehir. For example; “ç” is pronounced “ch” as in “cheese” and “teacher”; “ş” is pronounced “sh” as in “shell” and “fashion”.

We are looking for Contestants who can read this book Without smiling and thinking! Akşehir is in the centre of the world. If you don’t believe it, you can measure it. Nasreddin Hoca 1208-1284