1. 1. BillClinton MyLife ALFREDA.KNOPFNEW YORK 2004 Tomymother,whogaveme aloveoflife
2. 2. ToHillary,whogavemea lifeoflove ToChelsea,whogavejoy andmeaningtoitall Andtothememoryofmy grandfather, whotaughtmetolookupto peopleotherslookeddown on, becausewerenotso
3. 3. differentafterall
4. 4. PROLOGUE WhenIwasayoungmanjust outoflawschoolandeager togetonwithmylife,ona whimIbrieflyputasidemy readingpreferenceforfiction andhistoryandboughtoneof thosehow-tobooks:Howto GetControlofYourTimeand YourLife,byAlanLakein.
5. 5. Thebooksmainpointwas thenecessityoflistingshort-, medium-,andlong-termlife goals,thencategorizingthem inorderoftheirimportance, withtheAgroupbeingthe mostimportant,theBgroup next,andtheCthelast,then listingundereachgoal specific activitiesdesignedtoachieve
6. 6. them.Istillhavethat paperbackbook,nowalmost thirty yearsold.AndImsureI havethatoldlistsomewhere buriedinmypapers,thoughI cantfindit.However,Ido remembertheAlist.I wantedtobeagoodman, haveagood marriageandchildren,have
7. 7. goodfriends,makea successfulpoliticallife,and writea greatbook. WhetherImagoodmanis, ofcourse,forGodtojudge.I knowthatIamnotasgood asmystrongestsupporters believeorasIhopeto become,norasbadasmy harshest
8. 8. criticsassert.Ihavebeen gracedbeyondmeasureby myfamilylifewithHillary and Chelsea.Likeallfamilies lives,oursisnotperfect,but ithasbeenwonderful.Its flaws, asalltheworldknows,are mostlymine,andits continuingpromiseis groundedintheir
9. 9. love.NopersonIknowever hadmoreorbetterfriends. Indeed,astrongcasecanbe madethatIrosetothe presidencyontheshoulders ofmypersonalfriends,the now legendaryFOBs. Mylifeinpoliticswasajoy. IlovedcampaignsandI lovedgoverning.Ialways
10. 10. tried tokeepthingsmovinginthe rightdirection,togivemore peopleachancetolivetheir dreams,toliftpeoples spirits,andtobringthem together.ThatsthewayI keptscore. Asforthegreatbook,who knows?Itsureisagood story.
11. 11. ONE Earlyonthemorningof August19,1946,Iwasborn underaclearskyaftera violent summerstormtoawidowed motherintheJuliaChester HospitalinHope,atownof aboutsixthousandin southwestArkansas,thirty- threemileseastoftheTexas
12. 12. borderat Texarkana.Mymother namedmeWilliamJefferson BlytheIIIaftermyfather, William JeffersonBlytheJr.,oneof ninechildrenofapoor farmerinSherman,Texas, whodied whenmyfatherwas seventeen.Accordingtohis
13. 13. sisters,myfatheralways triedtotake careofthem,andhegrewup tobeahandsome, hardworking,fun-loving man.Hemet mymotheratTri-State HospitalinShreveport, Louisiana,in1943,whenshe wastraining tobeanurse.Manytimes
14. 14. whenIwasgrowingup,I askedMothertotellmethe storyof theirmeeting,courting,and marriage.Hebroughtadate withsomekindofmedical emergencyintotheward whereshewasworking,and theytalkedandflirtedwhile the otherwomanwasbeing
15. 15. treated.Onhiswayoutofthe hospital,hetouchedthe fingeron whichshewaswearingher boyfriendsringandasked herifshewasmarried.She stammerednoshewas single.Thenextdayhesent theotherwomanflowersand her heartsank.Thenhecalled
16. 16. Motherforadate,explaining thathealwayssentflowers when heendedarelationship. Twomonthslater,theywere marriedandhewasoffto war.Heservedinamotor pool intheinvasionofItaly, repairingjeepsandtanks. Afterthewar,hereturnedto
17. 17. Hopefor Motherandtheymovedto Chicago,wherehegotback hisoldjobasasalesmanfor the ManbeeEquipment Company.Theyboughta littlehouseinthesuburbof ForestParkbut couldntmoveinforacouple ofmonths,andsinceMother
18. 18. waspregnantwithme,they decidedsheshouldgohome toHopeuntiltheycouldget intothenewhouse.OnMay 17, 1946,aftermovingtheir furnitureintotheirnew home,myfatherwasdriving from ChicagotoHopetofetchhis wife.Lateatnighton
19. 19. Highway60outsideof Sikeston, Missouri,helostcontrolof hiscar,a1942Buick,when therightfronttireblewout ona wetroad.Hewasthrown clearofthecarbutlandedin, orcrawledinto,adrainage ditch dugtoreclaimswampland.
20. 20. Theditchheldthreefeetof water.Whenhewasfound, aftera two-hoursearch,hishand wasgraspingabranchabove thewaterline.Hehadtried but failedtopullhimselfout.He drowned,onlytwenty-eight yearsold,marriedtwoyears andeightmonths,onlyseven
21. 21. monthsofwhichhehadspent withMother. Thatbriefsketchisaboutall Ieverreallyknewaboutmy father.AllmylifeIhave beenhungrytofillinthe blanks,clingingeagerlyto everyphotoorstoryorscrap of paperthatwouldtellme moreofthemanwhogave
22. 22. melife. WhenIwasabouttwelve, sittingonmyuncleBuddys porchinHope,amanwalked upthesteps,lookedatme, andsaid,YoureBill Blythesson.Youlookjust likehim.I beamedfordays. In1974,Iwasrunningfor
23. 23. Congress.Itwasmyfirst raceandthelocalpaperdida featurestoryonmymother. Shewasatherregularcoffee shopearlyinthemorning discussingthearticlewitha lawyerfriendwhenoneof thebreakfastregularsshe knew onlycasuallycameuptoher andsaid,Iwasthere,Iwas
24. 24. thefirstoneatthewreckthat night.HethentoldMother whathehadseen,including thefactthatmyfatherhad retainedenough consciousnessorsurvival instincttotrytoclawhimself upandoutofthe waterbeforehedied.Mother thankedhim,wentouttoher carandcried,thendriedher
25. 25. tearsandwenttowork. In1993,onFathersDay,my firstasPresident,the WashingtonPostranalong investigativestoryonmy father,whichwasfollowed overthenexttwomonthsby other investigativepiecesbythe AssociatedPressandmany smallerpapers.Thestories
26. 26. confirmedthethingsmy motherandIknew.Theyalso turnedupalotwedidnt know, includingthefactthatmy fatherhadprobablybeen marriedthreetimesbeforehe met Mother,andapparentlyhad atleasttwomorechildren. Myfathersothersonwas
27. 27. identifiedasLeon Ritzenthaler,aretiredowner ofa janitorialservice,from northernCalifornia.Inthe article,hesaidhehadwritten me duringthe92campaignbut hadreceivednoreply.Idont rememberhearingabouthis letter,andconsideringallthe
28. 28. otherbulletswewere dodgingthen,itspossible thatmy staffkeptitfromme.Or maybetheletterwasjust misplacedinthemountains ofmailwe werereceiving.Anyway, whenIreadaboutLeon,Igot intouchwithhimandlater met
29. 29. himandhiswife,Judy, duringoneofmystopsin northernCalifornia.Wehad ahappy visitandsincethenweve correspondedinholiday seasons.HeandIlookalike, hisbirth certificatesayshisfatherwas mine,andIwishIdknown abouthimalongtimeago.
30. 30. Somewherearoundthistime, Ialsoreceivedinformation confirmingnewsstories aboutadaughter,Sharon Pettijohn,bornSharonLee BlytheinKansasCityin 1941,toa womanmyfatherlater divorced.Shesentcopiesof herbirthcertificate,her parents
31. 31. marriagelicense,aphotoof myfather,andalettertoher motherfrommyfather asking aboutourbabytoBetsey Wright,myformerchiefof staffinthegovernorsoffice. Im sorrytosaythat,for whateverreason,Ivenever mether.
32. 32. Thisnewsbreakingin1993 cameasashocktoMother, whobythenhadbeen battling cancerforsometime,butshe tookitallinstride.Shesaid youngpeopledidalotof thingsduringtheDepression andthewarthatpeoplein anothertimemight disapproveof.
33. 33. Whatmatteredwasthatmy fatherwastheloveofherlife andshehadnodoubtofhis loveforher.Whateverthe facts,thatsallsheneededto knowasherownlifemoved towarditsend.Asforme,I wasntquitesurewhatto makeofitall,butgiventhe life Iveled,Icouldhardlybe
34. 34. surprisedthatmyfatherwas morecomplicatedthanthe idealizedpicturesIhadlived withfornearlyhalfa century. In1994,asweheadedforthe celebrationofthefiftieth anniversaryofD-day,several newspaperspublishedastory onmyfatherswarrecord, withasnapshotofhimin
35. 35. uniform.Shortlyafterward,I receivedaletterfrom UmbertoBaronofNetcong, New Jersey,recountinghisown experiencesduringthewar andafter.Hesaidthathewas a youngboyinItalywhenthe Americansarrived,andthat helovedtogototheircamp,
36. 36. whereonesoldierin particularbefriendedhim, givinghimcandyand showinghimhow enginesworkedandhowto repairthem.Heknewhim onlyasBill.Afterthewar, Baron cametotheUnitedStates, and,inspiredbywhathehad learnedfromthesoldierwho
37. 37. calledhimLittleGIJoe,he openedhisowngarageand startedafamily.Hetoldme he hadlivedtheAmerican dream,withathriving businessandthreechildren. Hesaidhe owedsomuchofhissuccess inlifetothatyoungsoldier, buthadnthadthe opportunity
38. 38. tosaygood-byethen,andhad oftenwonderedwhathad happenedtohim.Then,he said, OnMemorialDayofthis year,Iwasthumbingthrough acopyoftheNewYork Daily Newswithmymorning coffeewhensuddenlyIfelt asifIwasstruckby lightning.There
39. 39. inthelowerleft-handcorner ofthepaperwasaphotoof Bill.Ifeltchillstolearnthat Bill wasnoneotherthanthe fatherofthePresidentofthe UnitedStates. In1996,thechildrenofone ofmyfatherssisterscame forthefirsttimetoour annual
40. 40. familyChristmaspartyatthe WhiteHouseandbroughtme agift:thecondolenceletter myaunthadreceivedfrom hercongressman,thegreat SamRayburn,aftermyfather died.Itsjustashortform letterandappearstohave beensignedwiththeautopen ofthe day,butIhuggedthatletter
41. 41. withallthegleeofasix- year-oldboygettinghisfirst train setfromSantaClaus.Ihung itinmyprivateofficeonthe secondflooroftheWhite House,andlookedatitevery night. ShortlyafterIlefttheWhite House,Iwasboardingthe USAirshuttleinWashington
42. 42. forNewYorkwhenanairline employeestoppedmetosay thathisstepfatherhadjust toldhimhehadservedinthe warwithmyfatherandhad likedhimverymuch.Iasked fortheoldvetsphone numberandaddress,andthe mansaidhedidnthaveitbut would getittome.Imstillwaiting,
43. 43. hopingtherewillbeone morehumanconnectionto my father. Attheendofmypresidency, Ipickedafewspecialplaces tosaygoodbyeandthanks totheAmericanpeople.One ofthemwasChicago,where Hillarywasborn;whereIall
44. 44. butclinchedtheDemocratic nominationonSt.Patricks Day1992;wheremanyofmy mostardentsupporterslive andmanyofmymost importantdomestic initiativesincrime, welfare,andeducationwere provedeffective;and,of course,wheremyparents wentto
45. 45. liveafterthewar.Iusedto jokewithHillarythatifmy fatherhadntlosthislifeon that rainyMissourihighway,I wouldhavegrownupafew milesfromherandwe probably neverwouldhavemet.My lasteventwasinthePalmer HouseHotel,sceneofthe only
46. 46. photoIhaveofmyparents together,takenjustbefore MothercamebacktoHopein 1946.Afterthespeechand thegood-byes,Iwentintoa smallroomwhereImeta woman,MaryEttaRees,and hertwodaughters.Shetold meshehadgrownupand gone tohighschoolwithmy
47. 47. mother,thenhadgonenorth toIndianatoworkinawar industry, married,stayed,andraised herchildren.Thenshegave meanotherpreciousgift:the lettermytwenty-three-year- oldmotherhadwrittenonher birthdaytoherfriend,three weeksaftermyfathers death,morethanfifty-four
48. 48. yearsearlier.Itwasvintage Mother. Inherbeautifulhand,she wroteofherheartbreakand herdeterminationtocarry on:It seemedalmostunbelievable atthetimebutyouseeIam sixmonthspregnantandthe thoughtofourbabykeepsme goingandreallygivesmethe
49. 49. wholeworldbeforeme. Mymotherleftmethe weddingringshegavemy father,afewmovingstories, andthe sureknowledgethatshewas lovingmeforhimtoo. Myfatherleftmewiththe feelingthatIhadtolivefor twopeople,andthatifIdidit
50. 50. wellenough,somehowI couldmakeupforthelifehe shouldhavehad.Andhis memory infusedme,atayoungerage thanmost,withasenseofmy ownmortality.The knowledgethatI,too,could dieyoungdrovemebothto trytodrainthemostoutof every
51. 51. momentoflifeandtogeton withthenextbigchallenge. EvenwhenIwasntsure where Iwasgoing,Iwasalwaysin ahurry. TWO Iwasbornonmy grandfathersbirthday,a coupleofweeksearly, weighinginata
52. 52. respectablesixpoundseight ounces,onatwenty-one-inch frame.MotherandIcame hometoherparentshouse onHerveyStreetinHope, whereIwouldspendthenext four years.Thatoldhouseseemed massiveandmysteriousto methenandstillholdsdeep memoriestoday.Thepeople
53. 53. ofHoperaisedthefundsto restoreitandfillitwithold pictures,memorabilia,and periodfurniture.Theycallit theClintonBirthplace.It certainlyistheplaceI associatewithawakeningto lifetothesmellsofcountry food;to buttermilkchurns,ice-cream makers,washboards,and
54. 54. clotheslines;tomyDickand Janereaders,myfirsttoys, includingasimplelengthof chainIprizedabovethem all;to strangevoicestalkingover ourpartylinetelephone;to myfirstfriends,andthework mygrandparentsdid. Afterayearorso,mymother
55. 55. decidedsheneededtogo backtoNewOrleansto CharityHospital,whereshe haddonepartofhernursing training,tolearntobea nurse anesthetist.Intheolddays, doctorshadadministered theirownanesthetics,so therewas ademandforthisrelatively
56. 56. newwork,whichwouldbring moreprestigetoherand more moneyforus.Butitmust havebeenhardonher, leavingme.Ontheother hand,New Orleanswasanamazing placeafterthewar,fullof youngpeople,Dixieland music,and
57. 57. over-the-tophauntslikethe ClubMy-Oh-My,wheremen indragdancedandsangas lovelyladies.Iguessit wasntabadplacefora beautifulyoungwidowto movebeyond herloss. IgottovisitMothertwice whenmygrandmothertook meonthetraintoNew
58. 58. Orleans. Iwasonlythree,butI remembertwothingsclearly. First,westayedjustacross Canal StreetfromtheFrench QuarterintheJungHotel,on oneofthehigherfloors.It wasthe firstbuildingmorethantwo storieshighIhadeverbeen
59. 59. in,inthefirstrealcityIhad ever seen.Icanremembertheawe Ifeltlookingoutoverallthe citylightsatnight.Idont recallwhatMotherandIdid inNewOrleans,butIll neverforgetwhathappened oneof thetimesIgotonthetrainto leave.Aswepulledaway
60. 60. fromthestation,Mother kneltby thesideoftherailroadtracks andcriedasshewavedgood- bye.Icanseehertherestill, cryingonherknees,asifit wereyesterday. Formorethanfiftyyears, fromthatfirsttrip,New Orleanshasalwayshada special
61. 61. fascinationforme.Iloveits music,food,people,and spirit.WhenIwasfifteen, my familytookavacationto NewOrleansandtheGulf Coast,andIgottohearAl Hirt,the greattrumpeter,inhisown club.Atfirsttheywouldnt letmeinbecauseIwas underage.
62. 62. AsMotherandIwereabout towalkaway,thedoorman toldusthatHirtwassitting inhis carreadingjustaroundthe corner,andthatonlyhecould letmein.Ifoundhimin his Bentleynolesstappedon thewindow,andmademy case.Hegotout,tookMother and
63. 63. meintotheclub,andputus atatablenearthefront.He andhisgroupplayedagreat setitwasmyfirstlivejazz experience.AlHirtdied whileIwasPresident.Iwrote his wifeandtoldherthestory, expressingmygratitudefora bigmanslong-agokindness to
64. 64. aboy. WhenIwasinhighschool,I playedthetenorsaxophone soloonapieceaboutNew OrleanscalledCrescentCity Suite.IalwaysthoughtIdid abetterjobonitbecauseI playeditwithmemoriesof myfirstsightofthecity. WhenIwastwenty-one,I wona
65. 65. RhodesscholarshipinNew Orleans.IthinkIdidwellin theinterviewinpartbecause I feltathomethere.WhenI wasayounglawprofessor, HillaryandIhadacoupleof great tripstoNewOrleansfor conventions,stayingata quaintlittlehotelinthe French
66. 66. Quarter,theCornstalk.When IwasgovernorofArkansas, weplayedintheSugarBowl there,losingtoAlabamain oneofthelegendaryBear Bryantslastgreatvictories. At leasthewasbornandgrew upinArkansas!WhenIran forPresident,thepeopleof New
67. 67. Orleanstwicegaveme overwhelmingvictory margins,assuring Louisianaselectoral votesforourside. NowIhaveseenmostofthe worldsgreatcities,butNew Orleanswillalwaysbe specialforcoffeeand beignetsattheMorningCall ontheMississippi;forthe
68. 68. musicof AaronandCharmaine Neville,theoldguysat PreservationHall,andthe memoryofAl Hirt;forjoggingthroughthe FrenchQuarterintheearly morning;foramazingmeals ata hostofterrificrestaurants withJohnBreaux,Sheriff
69. 69. HarryLee,andmyother pals;and mostofall,forthosefirst memoriesofmymother. Theyarethemagnetsthat keep pullingmedownthe MississippitoNewOrleans. WhileMotherwasinNew Orleans,Iwasinthecareof mygrandparents.Theywere
70. 70. incrediblyconscientious aboutme.Theylovedme verymuch;sadly,much betterthan theywereabletoloveeach otheror,inmy grandmotherscase,tolove mymother.Of course,Iwasblissfully unawareofallthisatthe time.IjustknewthatIwas loved.Later,
71. 71. whenIbecameinterestedin childrengrowingupinhard circumstancesandlearned somethingofchild developmentfromHillarys workattheYaleChildStudy Center,I cametorealizehowfortunate Ihadbeen.Foralltheirown demons,mygrandparents and
72. 72. mymotheralwaysmademe feelIwasthemostimportant personintheworldtothem. Mostchildrenwillmakeitif theyhavejustoneperson whomakesthemfeelthat way.I hadthree. Mygrandmother,Edith GrishamCassidy,stoodjust overfivefeettalland
73. 73. weighed about180pounds.Mammaw wasbright,intense,and aggressive,andhad obviouslybeen prettyonce.Shehadagreat laugh,butshealsowasfull ofangeranddisappointment and obsessionssheonlydimly understood.Shetookitall
74. 74. outinragingtiradesagainst my grandfatherandmymother, bothbeforeandafterIwas born,thoughIwasshielded from mostofthem.Shehadbeena goodstudentandambitious, soafterhighschoolshetook a correspondencecoursein
75. 75. nursingfromtheChicago SchoolofNursing.Bythe timeIwas atoddlershewasaprivate- dutynurseforamannotfar fromourhouseonHervey Street. Icanstillrememberrunning downthesidewalktomeet herwhenshecamehome from
76. 76. work. Mammawsmaingoalsfor mewerethatIwouldeata lot,learnalot,andalwaysbe neatandclean.Weateinthe kitchenatatablenexttothe window.Myhighchairfaced thewindow,andMammaw tackedplayingcardsupon thewoodenwindowframeat
77. 77. mealtimessothatIcould learntocount.Shealso stuffedmeateverymeal, because conventionalwisdomatthe timewasthatafatbabywas ahealthyone,aslongashe bathedeveryday.Atleast onceaday,shereadtome fromDickandJanebooks untilI
78. 78. couldreadthemmyself,and fromWorldBook Encyclopediavolumes, whichinthose daysweresolddoor-to-door bysalesmenandwereoften theonlybooksbesidesthe Bible inworkingpeopleshouses. Theseearlyinstructions probablyexplainwhyInow reada
79. 79. lot,lovecardgames,battle myweight,andneverforget towashmyhandsandbrush my teeth. Iadoredmygrandfather,the firstmaleinfluenceinmy life,andfeltpridethatIwas bornonhisbirthday.James EldridgeCassidywasaslight man,aboutfiveeight,butin
80. 80. thoseyearsstillstrongand handsome.Ialwaysthought heresembledtheactor Randolph Scott. Whenmygrandparents movedfromBodcaw,which hadapopulationofabouta hundred,tothemetropolis Hope,Papawworkedforan icehousedeliveringiceona
81. 81. horse-drawnwagon.Inthose days,refrigeratorsreally wereiceboxes,cooledby chunks oficewhosesizevaried accordingtothesizeofthe appliance.Thoughhe weighedabout 150pounds,mygrandfather carriediceblocksthat weigheduptoahundred poundsor
82. 82. more,usingapairofhooks toslidethemontohisback, whichwasprotectedbya large leatherflap. Mygrandfatherwasan incrediblykindandgenerous man.DuringtheDepression, whennobodyhadanymoney, hewouldinviteboystoride theicetruckwithhimjustto
83. 83. getthemoffthestreet.They earnedtwenty-fivecentsa day.In1976,whenIwasin Hope runningforattorneygeneral, Ihadatalkwithoneofthose boys,JudgeJohnWilson.He grewuptobea distinguished,successful lawyer,buthestillhadvivid memoriesofthose
84. 84. days.Hetoldmethatatthe endofoneday,whenmy grandfathergavehimhis quarter, heaskedifhecouldhavetwo dimesandanickelsothathe couldfeelhehadmore money.Hegotthemand walkedhome,jinglingthe changeinhispockets.Buthe jingled
85. 85. toohard,andoneofthe dimesfellout.Helookedfor thatdimeforhourstono avail. Fortyyearslater,hetoldme hestillneverwalkedbythat stretchofsidewalkwithout tryingtospotthatdime. Itshardtoconveytoyoung peopletodaytheimpactthe Depressionhadonmy
86. 86. parentsandgrandparents generation,butIgrewup feelingit.Oneofthemost memorablestoriesofmy childhoodwasmymothers taleofaDepressionGood Friday whenmygrandfathercame homefromworkandbroke downandcriedashetoldher he
87. 87. justcouldntaffordthedollar orsoitwouldcosttobuyher anewEasterdress.Shenever forgotit,andeveryyearof mychildhoodIhadanew EasteroutfitwhetherI wanteditor not.IrememberoneEasterin the1950s,whenIwasfatand self-conscious.Iwentto churchinalight-colored
88. 88. short-sleevedshirt,white linenpants,pinkandblack Hush Puppies,andamatchingpink suedebelt.Ithurt,butmy motherhadbeenfaithfulto her fathersEasterritual. WhenIwaslivingwithhim, mygrandfatherhadtwojobs thatIreallyloved:herana
89. 89. littlegrocerystore,andhe supplementedhisincomeby workingasanightwatchman ata sawmill.Ilovedspendingthe nightwithPapawatthe sawmill.Wewouldtakea paper bagwithsandwichesfor supper,andIwouldsleepin thebackseatofthecar.And on
90. 90. clearstarlitnights,Iwould climbinthesawdustpiles, takinginthemagicalsmells of fresh-cuttimberandsawdust. Mygrandfatherloved workingthere,too.Itgothim outof thehouseandremindedhim ofthemillworkheddoneas ayoungmanaroundthetime
91. 91. ofmymothersbirth.Except forthetimePapawclosedthe cardooronmyfingersinthe dark,thosenightswere perfectadventures. Thegrocerystorewasa differentsortofadventure. First,therewasahugejarof Jacksonscookiesonthe counter,whichIraidedwith gusto.Second,grown-upsI
92. 92. didnt knowcameintobuy groceries,forthefirsttime exposingmetoadultswho werent relatives.Third,alotofmy grandfatherscustomerswere black.ThoughtheSouthwas completelysegregatedback then,somelevelofracial interactionwasinevitablein
93. 93. small towns,justasithadalways beenintheruralSouth. However,itwasraretofind an uneducatedruralsoutherner withoutaracistboneinhis body.Thatsexactlywhatmy grandfatherwas.Icouldsee thatblackpeoplelooked different,butbecausehe
94. 94. treated themlikehedideverybody else,askingaftertheir childrenandabouttheir work,I thoughttheywerejustlike me.Occasionally,blackkids wouldcomeintothestore and wewouldplay.Ittookme yearstolearnabout
95. 95. segregationandprejudice andthemeaning ofpoverty,yearstolearnthat mostwhitepeoplewerent likemygrandfatherand grandmother,whoseviewson racewereamongthefew thingsshehadincommon with herhusband.Infact,Mother toldmeoneoftheworst
96. 96. whippingssheevergotwas when, atagethreeorfour,she calledablackwoman Nigger.Toputitmildly, Mammaws whippingherwasanunusual reactionforapoorsouthern whitewomaninthe1920s. Mymotheroncetoldmethat afterPapawdied,shefound
97. 97. someofhisoldaccount booksfromthegrocerystore withlotsofunpaidbillsfrom hiscustomers,mostofthem black.Sherecalledthathe hadtoldherthatgoodpeople whoweredoingthebestthey coulddeservedtobeableto feedtheirfamilies,andno matterhowstrappedhewas, he
98. 98. neverdeniedthemgroceries oncredit.Maybethatswhy Ivealwaysbelievedinfood stamps. AfterIbecamePresident,I gotanotherfirsthandaccount ofmygrandfathersstore.In 1997,anAfrican-American woman,ErnestineCampbell, didaninterviewforher
99. 99. hometownpaperinToledo, Ohio,abouthergrandfather buyinggroceriesfromPapaw onaccountandbringing herwithhimtothestore.She saidthatsheremembered playingwithme,andthatI wastheonlywhiteboyin thatneighborhoodwho played withblackkids.Thanksto
100. 100. mygrandfather,Ididnt knowIwastheonlywhite kidwho didthat. Besidesmygrandfathers store,myneighborhood providedmyonlyother contactwith peopleoutsidemyfamily.I experiencedalotinthose narrowconfines.Isawa
101. 101. house burndownacrossthestreet andlearnedIwasnotthe onlypersonbadthings happenedto. Imadefriendswithaboy whocollectedstrange creatures,andonceheinvited meoverto seehissnake.Hesaiditwas inthecloset.Thenheopened
102. 102. theclosetdoor,shovedme intothedarkness,slammed thedoorshut,andtoldmeI wasinthedarkalonewith the snake.Iwasnt,thank goodness,butIwassure scaredtodeath.Ilearnedthat whatseems funnytothestrongcanbe cruelandhumiliatingtothe
103. 103. weak. Ourhousewasjustablock awayfromarailroad underpass,whichthenwas madeof roughtar-coatedtimbers.I likedtoclimbonthetimbers, listentothetrainsrattle overhead,andwonderwhere theyweregoingandwhether Iwouldevergothere.
104. 104. AndIusedtoplayinthe backyardwithaboywhose yardadjoinedmine.Helived with twobeautifulsistersina bigger,nicerhousethanours. Weusedtositonthegrass for hours,throwinghisknifein thegroundandlearningto makeitstick.Hisnamewas Vince
105. 105. Foster.Hewaskindtome andneverlordeditoverme thewaysomanyolderboys did withyoungerones.Hegrew uptobeatall,handsome, wise,goodman.Hebecamea greatlawyer,astrong supporterearlyinmycareer, andHillarysbestfriendat theRose
106. 106. LawFirm.Ourfamilies socializedinLittleRock, mostlyathishouse,where hiswife, Lisa,taughtChelseatoswim. HecametotheWhiteHouse withus,andwasavoiceof calmandreasoninthose crazyearlymonths. Therewasoneotherperson outsidethefamilywho
107. 107. influencedmeinmyearly childhood.Odessawasa blackwomanwhocameto ourhousetoclean,cook,and watch mewhenmygrandparents wereatwork.Shehadbig buckteeth,whichmadeher smile onlybrighterandmore beautifultome.Ikeptup
108. 108. withherforyearsafterIleft Hope.In 1966,afriendandIwentout toseeOdessaaftervisiting myfathersandgrandfathers graves.Mostoftheblack peopleinHopelivednearthe cemetery,acrosstheroad from wheremygrandfathersstore hadbeen.Irememberour
109. 109. visitingonherporchfora good longwhile.Whenthetime cametogo,wegotinmycar anddroveawayondirt streets. TheonlyunpavedstreetsI sawinHope,orlaterinHot SpringswhenImovedthere, were inblackneighborhoods,full
110. 110. ofpeoplewhoworkedhard, manyofthemraisingkids like me,andwhopaidtaxes. Odessadeservedbetter. Theotherlargefiguresinmy childhoodwererelatives:my maternalgreat- grandparents,mygreat-aunt Otieandgreat-uncleCarl Russell,andmostofall,my
111. 111. great- uncleOrenknownas Buddy,andoneofthelights ofmylifeandhiswife, AuntOllie. MyGrishamgreat- grandparentslivedoutinthe countryinalittlewooden housebuilt upofftheground.Because Arkansasgetsmore
112. 112. tornadoesthanalmostany otherplacein theUnitedStates,most peoplewholivedinvirtual stickhousesliketheirsduga holein thegroundforastormcellar. Theirswasoutinthefront yard,andhadalittlebedand a smalltablewithacoal-oil
113. 113. lanternonit.Istillremember peeringintothatlittlespace and hearingmygreat-grandfather say,Yes,sometimessnakes godowntheretoo,butthey wontbiteyouifthe lanternslit.Ineverfound outwhetherthatwastrueor not.My onlyothermemoryofmy
114. 114. great-grandfatheristhathe cametovisitmeinthe hospital whenIbrokemylegatage five.Heheldmyhandandwe posedforapicture.Hesina simpleblackjacketanda whiteshirtbuttonedallthe wayup,lookingoldasthe hills, straightoutofAmerican
115. 115. Gothic. Mygrandmotherssister OpalwecalledherOtie wasafine-lookingwoman with thegreatGrishamfamily laugh,whosequiethusband, Carl,wasthefirstpersonI knew whogrewwatermelons.The river-enriched,sandysoil
116. 116. aroundHopeisidealfor them,and thesizeofHopesmelons becamethetrademarkofthe townintheearlyfiftieswhen the communitysentthelargest melonevergrownuptothat time,justundertwohundred pounds,toPresidentTruman. Thebetter-tastingmelons,
117. 117. however,weighsixtypounds or less.ThosearetheonesIsaw mygreat-uncleCarlgrow, pouringwaterfroma washtub intothesoilaroundthe melonsandwatchingthe stalkssuckituplikea vacuumcleaner. WhenIbecamePresident,
118. 118. UncleCarlscousinCarter Russellstillhada watermelon standinHopewhereyou couldgetgoodredorthe sweeteryellowmelons. Hillarysaysthefirsttimeshe eversawme,Iwasinthe YaleLawSchoollounge braggingtoskepticalfellow studentsaboutthesizeof
119. 119. Hopewatermelons.WhenI was President,myoldfriends fromHopeputona watermelonfeedonthe SouthLawnofthe WhiteHouse,andIgottotell mywatermelonstoriestoa newgenerationofyoung peoplewhopretendedtobe interestedinasubjectI
120. 120. begantolearnaboutsolong ago fromAuntOtieandUncle Carl. Mygrandmothersbrother UncleBuddyandhiswife, Ollie,weretheprimary membersofmyextended family.BuddyandOlliehad fourchildren,threeofwhom were
121. 121. gonefromHopebythetimeI camealong.Dwaynewasan executivewithashoe manufacturerinNew Hampshire.ConradandFalba werelivinginDallas,though they bothcamebacktoHope oftenandlivetheretoday. Myra,theyoungest,wasa rodeo
122. 122. queen.Shecouldridelikea pro,andshelaterranoffwith acowboy,hadtwoboys, divorced,andmovedhome, wheresheranthelocal housingauthority.Myraand Falba aregreatwomenwholaugh throughtheirtearsandnever quitonfamilyandfriends. Im
123. 123. gladtheyarestillpartofmy life.Ispentalotoftimeat BuddyandOllieshouse,not just inmyfirstsixyearsinHope, butforfortymoreyearsuntil OlliediedandBuddysoldthe houseandmovedinwith Falba. Sociallifeinmyextended family,likethatofmost
124. 124. peopleofmodestmeanswho grew upinthecountry,revolved aroundmeals,conversation, andstorytelling.They couldnt affordvacations,rarelyif everwenttothemovies,and didnthavetelevisionuntil the mid-tolate1950s.They
125. 125. wentoutafewtimesayear tothecountyfair,the watermelon festival,theoccasional squaredanceorgospel singing.Themenhuntedand fishedand raisedvegetablesand watermelononsmallplots outinthecountrythattheyd keptwhen
126. 126. theymovedtotowntowork. Thoughtheyneverhadextra money,theyneverfeltpoor aslongastheyhadaneat house,cleanclothes,and enoughfoodtofeedanyone whocameinthefrontdoor. They workedtolive,nottheother wayaround.
127. 127. Myfavoritechildhoodmeals wereatBuddyandOllies, eatingaroundabigtablein theirsmallkitchen.Atypical weekendlunch,whichwe calleddinner(theevening meal wassupper),includedhamor aroast,cornbread,spinach orcollardgreens,mashed potatoes,sweetpotatoes,
128. 128. peas,greenbeansorlima beans,fruitpie,andendless quantities oficedteawedrankinlarge goblet-likeglasses.Ifelt moregrownupdrinkingout of thosebigglasses.Onspecial dayswehadhomemadeice creamtogowiththepie. When
129. 129. Iwasthereearlyenough,I gottohelppreparethemeal, shellingthebeansorturning the crankontheice-cream maker.Before,during,and afterdinnertherewas constanttalk: towngossip,familygoings- on,andstories,lotsofthem. Allmykinfolkscouldtella
130. 130. story,makingsimpleevents, encounters,andmishaps involvingordinarypeople come alivewithdramaand laughter. Buddywasthebest storyteller.Likebothofhis sisters,hewasverybright.I often wonderedwhatheandthey
131. 131. wouldhavemadeoftheir livesiftheyhadbeenborn intomy generationormydaughters. Buttherewerelotsofpeople likethembackthen.Theguy pumpingyourgasmighthave hadanIQashighastheguy takingyourtonsilsout.There arestillpeoplelikethe GrishamsinAmerica,many
132. 132. ofthemnewimmigrants, whichis whyItriedasPresidentto openthedoorsofcollegeto allcomers. Thoughhehadaverylimited education,Buddyhadafine mindandaPh.D.inhuman nature,bornofalifetimeof keenobservationanddealing withhisowndemonsand
133. 133. those ofhisfamily.Earlyinhis marriagehehadadrinking problem.Onedayhecame home andtoldhiswifeheknewhis drinkingwashurtingherand theirfamilyandhewasnever goingtodrinkagain.Andhe neverdid,formorethanfifty years.
134. 134. Wellintohiseighties,Buddy couldtellamazingstories highlightingthepersonalities ofdogshedhadfiveorsix decadesearlier.He rememberedtheirnames, theirlooks, theirpeculiarhabits,howhe camebythem,theprecise waytheyretrievedshotbirds. Lotsofpeoplewouldcome
135. 135. byhishouseandsitonthe porchforavisit.Afterthey left hedhaveastoryaboutthem ortheirkidssometimes funny,sometimessad, usually sympathetic,always understanding. Ilearnedalotfromthe storiesmyuncle,aunts,and
136. 136. grandparentstoldme:thatno one isperfectbutmostpeopleare good;thatpeoplecantbe judgedonlybytheirworstor weakestmoments;thatharsh judgmentscanmake hypocritesofusall;thatalot oflifeis justshowingupandhanging on;thatlaughterisoftenthe
137. 137. best,andsometimestheonly, responsetopain.Perhaps mostimportant,Ilearned thateveryonehasastoryof dreams andnightmares,hopeand heartache,loveandloss, courageandfear,sacrifice and selfishness.AllmylifeIve beeninterestedinother
138. 138. peoplesstories.Ivewanted toknow them,understandthem,feel them.WhenIgrewupand gotintopolitics,Ialwaysfelt the mainpointofmyworkwas togivepeopleachanceto havebetterstories. UncleBuddysstorywas gooduntiltheend.Hegot
139. 139. lungcancerin1974,hada lung removed,andstilllivedtobe ninety-one.Hecounseledme inmypoliticalcareer,andif Idfollowedhisadviceand repealedanunpopularcar-tag increase,Iprobablywouldnt havelostmyfirst gubernatorialreelection campaignin1980.Helived
140. 140. toseemeelected Presidentandgotabigkick outofit.AfterOlliedied,he keptactivebygoingdownto hisdaughterFalbasdonut shopandregalingawhole newgenerationofkidswith his storiesandwitty observationsonthehuman condition.Heneverlosthis
141. 141. senseofhumor. Hewasstilldrivingat eighty-seven,whenhetook twoladyfriends,aged ninety-oneand ninety-three,fordrives separatelyonceaweek. Whenhetoldmeabouthis dates,I asked,Soyoulikethese olderwomennow?He
142. 142. snickeredandsaid,Yeah,I do.Seems liketheyrealittlemore settled. Inallouryearstogether,I sawmyunclecryonlyonce. OlliedevelopedAlzheimers andhadtobemovedtoa nursinghome.Forseveral weeksafterward,sheknew whoshe
143. 143. wasforafewminutesaday. Duringthoselucidintervals, shewouldcallBuddyand say, Oren,howcouldyouleave meinthisplaceafterfifty- sixyearsofmarriage?Come get merightnow.Hewould dutifullydriveovertosee her,butbythetimehegot there,she
144. 144. wouldbelostagaininthe mistsofthediseaseand didntknowhim. Itwasduringthisperiodthat Istoppedbytoseehimlate oneafternoon,ourlastvisit at theoldhouse.Iwashoping tocheerhimup.Instead,he mademelaughwithbawdy jokes
145. 145. anddrollcommentson currentevents.When darknessfell,ItoldhimIhad togoback hometoLittleRock.He followedmetothedoor,and asIwasabouttowalkout,he grabbedmyarm.Iturnedand sawtearsinhiseyesforthe firstandonlytimeinalmost fiftyyearsofloveand
146. 146. friendship.Isaid,Thisis reallyhard,isntit?Ill neverforgethis reply.Hesmiledandsaid, Yeah,itis,butIsignedon forthewholeload,andmost ofit wasprettygood.Myuncle Buddytaughtmethat everyonehasastory.Hetold hisin
147. 147. thatonesentence. THREE AftertheyearinNew Orleans,Mothercamehome toHopeeagertoputher anesthesia trainingintopractice,elated atbeingreunitedwithme, andbacktoheroldfun- loving
148. 148. self.Shehaddatedseveral meninNewOrleansandhad afinetime,accordingtoher memoir,LeadingwithMy Heart,whichImsurewould havebeenabestsellerifshe had livedtopromoteit. However,before,during,and afterhersojourninNew Orleans,Motherwasdating
149. 149. one manmorethananyoneelse, theownerofthelocalBuick dealership,RogerClinton. She wasabeautiful,high-spirited widow.Hewasahandsome, hell-raising,twice-divorced manfromHotSprings, ArkansasSinCity,which forseveralyearshadbeen
150. 150. hometo thelargestillegalgambling operationintheUnited States.Rogersbrother Raymond ownedtheBuickdealership inHotSprings,andRoger, thebabyandbadboyofa familyoffive,hadcometo Hopetotakeadvantageofthe waractivityaroundthe
151. 151. SouthwesternProving Groundandperhapstoget outofhisbrothersshadow. Rogerlovedtodrinkand partywithhistwobest buddiesfromHotSprings, Van HamptonLyell,whoowned theCoca-Colabottlingplant acrossthestreetfromClinton Buick,andGabeCrawford,
152. 152. whoownedseveral drugstoresinHotSpringsand onein Hope,laterbuiltHotSprings firstshoppingcenter,and wasthenmarriedtoRogers gorgeousniece,Virginia,a womanIvealwaysloved, whowastheveryfirstMiss Hot Springs.Theirideaofagood
153. 153. timewastogamble,get drunk,anddocrazy,reckless thingsincarsorairplanesor onmotorcycles.Itsawonder theydidntalldieyoung. MotherlikedRogerbecause hewasfun,paidattentionto me,andwasgenerous.He paidforhertocomehometo seemeseveraltimeswhen shewasinNewOrleans,and
154. 154. he probablypaidforthetrain tripsMammawandItookto seeMother. PapawlikedRogerbecause hewasnicebothtomeandto him.Forawhileaftermy grandfatherquittheicehouse becauseofseverebronchial problems,heranaliquor store.
155. 155. Neartheendofthewar, HempsteadCounty,ofwhich Hopeisthecountyseat, votedto godry.Thatswhenmy grandfatheropenedhis grocerystore.Ilaterlearned that Papawsoldliquorunderthe countertothedoctors, lawyers,andother respectablepeople
156. 156. whodidntwanttodrivethe thirty-threemilestothe nearestlegalliquorstorein Texarkana,andthatRoger washissupplier. Mammawreallydisliked Rogerbecauseshethoughthe wasnotthekindofmanher daughterandgrandson shouldbetiedto.Shehada darksideherhusbandand
157. 157. daughter lacked,butitenabledherto seethedarknessinothers thattheymissed.Shethought RogerClintonwasnothing buttrouble.Shewasright aboutthetroublepart,butnot the nothingbut.Therewas moretohimthanthat,which makeshisstoryevensadder.
158. 158. Asforme,allIknewwas thathewasgoodtomeand hadabigbrownandblack Germanshepherd,Susie,that hebroughttoplaywithme. Susiewasabigpartofmy childhood,andstartedmy lifelongloveaffairwith dogs. MotherandRogergot marriedinHotSprings,in
159. 159. June1950,shortlyafterher twenty- seventhbirthday.OnlyGabe andVirginiaCrawfordwere there.ThenMotherandIleft herparentshomeandmoved withmynewstepfather, whomIsoonbegantocall Daddy, intoalittlewhitewooden houseonthesouthendof
160. 160. townat321ThirteenthStreet atthe cornerofWalkerStreet.Not longafterward,Istarted callingmyselfBillyClinton. Mynewworldwasexciting tome.NextdoorwereNed andAliceWilliams.Mr.Ned wasaretiredrailroadworker whobuiltaworkshopbehind hishousefilledwithalarge
161. 161. sophisticatedmodelelectric- trainsetup.Backthenevery littlekidwantedaLionel train set.Daddygotmeoneand weusedtoplaywithit together,butnothingcould compareto Mr.Nedslargeintricate tracksandbeautifulfast trains.Ispenthoursthere.It waslike
162. 162. havingmyownDisneyland nextdoor. Myneighborhoodwasa class-Aadvertisementforthe postWorldWarIIbaby boom. Therewerelotsofyoung coupleswithkids.Acrossthe streetlivedthemostspecial child ofall,MitziPolk,daughter
163. 163. ofMinorandMargaretPolk. Mitzihadaloudroaring laugh. Shewouldswingsohighon herswingsetthepolesofthe framewouldcomeupoutof theground,asshebellowed atthetopofherlungs,Billy sucksabottle!Billysucksa bottle!Shedrovemenuts. Afterall,Iwasgettingtobe
164. 164. abigboyandIdidnosuch thing. IlaterlearnedthatMitziwas developmentallydisabled. Thetermwouldnthave meant anythingtomethen,but whenIpushedtoexpand opportunitiesforthedisabled as
165. 165. governorandPresident,I thoughtoftenofMitziPolk. AlothappenedtomewhileI livedonThirteenthStreet.I startedschoolatMissMarie PurkinsSchoolforLittle Folkskindergarten,whichI loveduntilIbrokemyleg oneday jumpingrope.Anditwasnt evenamovingrope.Therope
166. 166. intheplaygroundwastiedat oneendtoatreeandatthe otherendtoaswingset.The kidswouldlineuponone side andtaketurnsrunningand jumpingoverit.Alltheother kidsclearedtherope. OneofthemwasMack McLarty,sonofthelocal Forddealer,latergovernorof
167. 167. Boys State,all-starquarterback, statelegislator,successful businessman,andthenmy first WhiteHousechiefofstaff. Mackalwaysclearedevery hurdle.Luckilyforme,he always waitedformetocatchup.
168. 168. Me,Ididntcleartherope.I wasalittlechunkyanyway, andslow,soslowthatIwas oncetheonlykidatanEaster egghuntwhodidntgeta singleegg,notbecauseI couldntfindthembut becauseIcouldntgetto themfastenough.Ontheday Itriedto jumpropeIwaswearing
169. 169. cowboybootstoschool.Like afool,Ididnttaketheboots off tojump.Myheelcaughton therope,Iturned,fell,and heardmylegsnap.Ilayin agony onthegroundforseveral minuteswhileDaddyraced overfromtheBuickplaceto get
170. 170. me. Ihadbrokenmylegabove theknee,andbecauseIwas growingsofast,thedoctor was reluctanttoputmeinacast uptomyhip.Instead,he madeaholethroughmy ankle, pushedastainlesssteelbar throughit,attachedittoa
171. 171. stainlesssteelhorseshoe,and hung mylegupintheairovermy hospitalbed.Ilaylikethat fortwomonths,flatonmy back, feelingbothfoolishand pleasedtobeoutofschool andreceivingsomany visitors.Itook alongtimegettingoverthat
172. 172. legbreak.AfterIgotoutof thehospital,myfolksbought me abicycle,butIneverlostmy fearofridingwithoutthe trainingwheels.Asaresult,I neverstoppedfeelingthatI wasclumsyandwithouta normalsenseofbalance until,at theageoftwenty-two,I
173. 173. finallystartedridingabikeat Oxford.EventhenIfella few times,butIthoughtofitas buildingmypainthreshold. IwasgratefultoDaddyfor comingtorescuemewhenI brokemyleg.Healsocame homefromworkatimeor twototrytotalkMotherout ofspankingmewhenIdid
174. 174. somethingwrong.Atthe beginningoftheirmarriage hereallytriedtobetherefor me.I rememberonceheeventook meonthetraintoSt.Louis toseetheCardinals,thenour nearestmajorleaguebaseball team.Westayedovernight andcamehomethenextday. I
175. 175. lovedit.Sadly,itwasthe onlytripthetwoofusever tooktogether.Liketheonly time weeverwentfishing together.Theonlytimewe everwentoutintothewoods tocutour ownChristmastreetogether. Theonlytimeourwhole familytookanout-of-state
176. 176. vacationtogether.Therewere somanythingsthatmeanta lottomebutwereneverto occuragain.RogerClinton reallylovedmeandheloved Mother,buthecouldntever quitebreakfreeofthe shadowsofself-doubt,the phonysecurityofbinge drinkingand adolescentpartying,andthe
177. 177. isolationfromandverbal abuseofMotherthatkept him frombecomingthemanhe mighthavebeen. Onenighthisdrunkenself- destructivenesscametoa headinafightwithmy motherI canteverforget.Mother wantedustogotothe
178. 178. hospitaltoseemygreat- grandmother, whodidnthavelongtolive. Daddysaidshecouldntgo. Theywerescreamingateach otherintheirbedroominthe backofthehouse.Forsome reason,Iwalkedoutintothe halltothedoorwayofthe bedroom.JustasIdid,Daddy pulledagunfrombehindhis
179. 179. backandfiredinMothers direction.Thebulletwent intothewallbetweenwhere she andIwerestanding.Iwas stunnedandsoscared.Ihad neverheardashotfired before, muchlessseenone.Mother grabbedmeandranacross thestreettotheneighbors. The
180. 180. policewerecalled.Icanstill seethemleadingDaddyaway inhandcuffstojail,wherehe spentthenight. ImsureDaddydidntmean tohurtherandhewouldhave diedifthebullethad accidentallyhiteitherofus. Butsomethingmore poisonousthanalcoholdrove himto
181. 181. thatlevelofdebasement.It wouldbealongtimebeforeI couldunderstandsuchforces in othersorinmyself.When Daddygotoutofjailhehad soberedupinmorewaysthan one andwassoashamedthat nothingbadhappenedfor sometime.
182. 182. Ihadonemoreyearoflife andschoolinginHope.I wenttofirstgradeat Brookwood School;myteacherwasMiss MaryWilson.Althoughshe hadonlyonearm,shedidnt believeinsparingtherod,or, inhercase,thepaddle,into whichshehadboredholesto cutdownonthewind
183. 183. resistance.Onmorethanone occasionIwastherecipient ofher concern. Inadditiontomyneighbors andMackMcLarty,Ibecame friendswithsomeotherkids whostayedwithmefora lifetime.Oneofthem,Joe Purvis,hadachildhoodthat made
184. 184. minelookidyllic.Hegrew uptobeafinelawyer,and whenIwaselectedattorney general,IhiredJoeonmy staff.WhenArkansashadan importantcasebeforethe U.S. SupremeCourt,Iwent,butI letJoemaketheargument. JusticeByronWhizzer White
185. 185. sentmeanotefromthe benchsayingthatJoehad doneagoodjob.Later,Joe becamethe firstchairmanofmy BirthplaceFoundation. Besidesmyfriendsand family,mylifeonThirteenth Streetwasmarkedbymy discoveryofthemovies.In 1951and1952,Icouldgofor
186. 186. adime:anickeltogetin,a nickelforaCoke.Iwent everycoupleofweeksorso. Backthen,yougotafeature film, acartoon,aserial,anda newsreel.TheKoreanWar wason,soIlearnedabout that.Flash GordonandRocketMan werethebigserialheroes.
187. 187. Forcartoons,Ipreferred BugsBunny, CaspertheFriendlyGhost, andBabyHuey,withwhomI probablyidentified.Isawa lot ofmovies,andespecially likedthewesterns.My favoritewasHighNoonI probably sawithalfadozentimes
188. 188. duringitsruninHope,and haveseenitmorethana dozentimes since.Itsstillmyfavorite movie,becauseitsnotyour typicalmachowestern.I loved themoviebecausefromstart tofinishGaryCooperis scaredtodeathbutdoesthe right
189. 189. thinganyway. WhenIwaselected President,Itoldan interviewerthatmyfavorite moviewasHigh Noon.Atthetime,Fred Zinnemann,itsdirector,was nearlyninety,livingin London.I gotagreatletterfromhim withacopyofhisannotated
190. 190. scriptandanautographed picture ofhimselfwithCooperand GraceKellyinstreetclothes ontheHighNoonsetin1951. OverthelongyearssinceI firstsawHighNoon,whenI facedmyownshowdowns,I oftenthoughtofthelookin GaryCooperseyesashe staresintothefaceofalmost
191. 191. certaindefeat,andhowhe keepswalkingthroughhis fearstowardhisduty.It works prettywellinreallifetoo. FOUR Inthesummeraftermyfirst- gradeyear,Daddydecidedhe wantedtogohometoHot Springs.HesoldtheBuick
192. 192. dealershipandmovedustoa fourhundredacrefarmout on WildcatRoadafewmiles westofthecity.Ithadcattle, sheep,andgoats.Whatit didnt havewasanindoortoilet.So fortheyearorsowelived outthere,onthehottest summer
193. 193. daysandthecoldestwinter nights,wehadtogooutside tothewoodenouthouseto relieveourselves.Itwasan interestingexperience, especiallywhenthe nonpoisonous kingsnakethathungaround ouryardwaspeeringup throughtheholeatmewhen Ihad
194. 194. togo.Later,whenIgotinto politics,beingabletosayI hadlivedonafarmwithan outhousemadeagreatstory, almostasgoodasbeingborn inalogcabin. Ilikedlivingonthefarm, feedingtheanimals,and movingamongthem,until one fatefulSunday.Daddyhad
195. 195. severalmembersofhis familyouttolunch, includinghis brotherRaymondandhis children.Itookoneof Raymondsdaughters,Karla, outinto thefieldwherethesheep weregrazing.Iknewthere wasonemeanramwehadto avoid,
196. 196. butwedecidedtotemptfate, abigmistake.Whenwewere aboutahundredyardsaway fromthefence,theramsaw usandstartedtocharge.We startedrunningforthefence. Karlawasbiggerandfaster andmadeit.Istumbledover abigrock.WhenIfellI could seeIwasntgoingtomake
197. 197. thefencebeforetheramgot tome,soIretreatedtoa small treeafewfeetawayinthe hopeIcouldkeepawayfrom himbyrunningaroundthe tree untilhelpcame.Anotherbig mistake.Soonhecaughtme andknockedmylegsout from
198. 198. underme.BeforeIcouldget uphebuttedmeinthehead. ThenIwasstunnedandhurt andcouldntgetup.Sohe backedup,gotagoodhead start,andrammedmeagain as hardashecould.Hedidthe samethingoverandoverand overagain,alternatinghis targetsbetweenmyheadand
199. 199. mygut.SoonIwaspouring bloodandhurtinglikethe devil.Afterwhatseemedan eternitymyuncleshowedup, pickedupabigrock,and threwithard,hittingtheram squarebetweentheeyes.The ramjustshookhisheadand walkedoff,apparently unfazed.Irecovered,left withonlyascaronmy
200. 200. forehead,which graduallygrewintomyscalp. AndIlearnedthatIcould takeahardhit,alessonthatI wouldrelearnacouplemore timesinmychildhoodand laterinlife. Afewmonthsafterwe movedtothefarm,bothmy folksweregoingtotownto work.
201. 201. Daddygaveuponbeinga farmerandtookajobasa partsmanagerforUncle Raymonds Buickdealership,while Motherfoundmore anesthesiaworkinHot Springsthanshe couldhandle.Oneday,onthe waytowork,shepickedupa womanwhowaswalkingto
202. 202. town.Aftertheygot acquainted,Motheraskedher ifsheknewanyonewho wouldcome tothehouseandlookafter mewhilesheandDaddy wereatwork.Inoneofthe great momentsofgoodluckinmy life,shesuggestedherself. HernamewasCoraWalters; she
203. 203. wasagrandmotherwith everygoodqualityofanold- fashionedcountrywoman. Shewas wise,kind,upright, conscientious,anddeeply Christian.Shebecamea memberofour familyforelevenyears.All herfamilyweregoodpeople, andaftersheleftus,her
204. 204. daughterMayeHightower cametoworkforMotherand stayedthirtymoreyearsuntil Motherdied.Inanotherage, CoraWalterswouldhave madeafineminister.She made meabetterpersonbyher example,andcertainly wasntresponsibleforanyof mysins,
205. 205. thenorlater.Shewasatough oldgal,too.Onedayshe helpedmekillahugeratthat was hangingaroundourhouse. Actually,Ifounditandshe killeditwhileIcheered. Whenwemovedouttothe country,Motherwas concernedaboutmygoingto asmall
206. 206. ruralschool,sosheenrolled meinSt.JohnsCatholic Schooldowntown,whereI attendedsecondandthird grade.Bothyearsmyteacher wasSisterMaryAmata McGee,a fineandcaringteacherbutno pushover.Ioftengotstraight Asonmysix-weekreport cardandaCincitizenship,
207. 207. whichwasaeuphemismfor goodbehaviorinclass.I lovedto readandcompeteinspelling contests,butItalkedtoo much.Itwasaconstant problemin gradeschool,andasmy criticsandmanyofmy friendswouldsay,itsoneI neverquite
208. 208. gotover.Ialsogotintrouble onceforexcusingmyselfto gotothebathroomand staying awaytoolongduringthe dailyrosary.Iwasfascinated bytheCatholicChurch,its rituals andthedevotionofthenuns, butgettingonmykneeson theseatofmydeskand leaning
209. 209. onthebackwiththerosary beadswasoftentoomuchfor arambunctiousboywhose only churchexperiencebefore thenhadbeenintheSunday schoolandthesummer vacation BibleschooloftheFirst BaptistChurchinHope. Afterayearorsoonthe
210. 210. farm,Daddydecidedtomove intoHotSprings.Herenteda bighousefromUncle Raymondat1011Park Avenue,intheeastendof town.Heled Mothertobelievehedmade agooddealforitandhad boughtthehousewithhis income andhers,butevenwiththeir
211. 211. twoincomes,andwith housingcostsaconsiderably smaller partoftheaveragefamilys expensesthannow,Icant seehowwecouldhave afforded it.Thehousewasupona hill;ithadtwostories,five bedrooms,andafascinating little
212. 212. ballroomupstairswithabar onwhichstoodabigrotating cagewithtwohugediceinit. Apparentlythefirstowner hadbeeninthegambling business.Ispentmanyhappy hours inthatroom,havingparties orjustplayingwithmy friends. Theexteriorofthehousewas
213. 213. whitewithgreentrim,with slopingroofsoverthefront entranceandthetwosides. Thefrontyardwasterraced onthreelevelswitha sidewalk downthemiddleandarock wallbetweenthemiddleand groundlevels.Thesideyards weresmall,butlargeenough forMothertoindulgeher
214. 214. favoriteoutdoorhobby, gardening.Sheespecially lovedtogrowrosesanddid soinallherhomesuntilshe died. Mothertannedeasilyand deeply,andshegotmostof hertanwhilediggingdirt around herflowersinatanktopand shorts.Thebackhadagravel
215. 215. drivewaywithafour-car garage,anicelawnwitha swingset,and,onbothsides ofthedriveway,sloping lawns thatwentdowntothestreet, CircleDrive. Welivedinthathousefrom thetimeIwassevenoreight untilIwasfifteen.Itwas
216. 216. fascinatingtome.The groundswerefullofshrubs, bushes,flowers,longhedges laced withhoneysuckle,andlotsof trees,includingafig,apear, twocrabapples,andahuge oldoakinthefront. IhelpedDaddytakecareof thegrounds.Itwasonething wediddotogether,though
217. 217. asIgotolder,Ididmoreand moreofitmyself.Thehouse wasnearawoodedarea,soI wasalwaysrunningacross spiders,tarantulas, centipedes,scorpions,wasps, hornets, bees,andsnakes,alongwith morebenigncreatureslike squirrels,chipmunks,blue jays,
218. 218. robins,andwoodpeckers. Once,whenIwasmowing thelawn,Ilookeddownto seea rattlesnakeslidingalongwith thelawnmower,apparently captivatedbythevibrations. I didntlikethevibes,soIran likecrazyandescaped unscathed.
219. 219. AnothertimeIwasntso lucky.Daddyhadputupa hugethree-storybirdhouse for martins,whichnestin groups,atthebottomofthe backdriveway.OnedayI was mowinggrassdownthereand discoveredithadbecomea nestingplacenotformartins
220. 220. butforbumblebees.They swarmedme,flyingallover mybody,myarms,myface. Amazingly,notoneofthem stungme.Iranofftocatch mybreathandconsidermy options.Mistakenly,I assumedtheyhaddecidedI meantthemnoharm,soafter afew minutesIwentbacktomy
221. 221. mowing.Ihadntgoneten yardsbeforetheyswarmed me again,thistimestingingme allovermybody.Onegot caughtbetweenmybellyand my belt,stingingmeoverand over,somethingbumblebees candothathoneybeescant.I wasdeliriousandhadtobe
222. 222. rushedtothedoctor,but recoveredsoonenoughwith another valuablelesson:tribesof bumblebeesgiveintruders onefairwarningbutnottwo. More thanthirty-fiveyearslater, KateRoss,thefive-year-old daughterofmyfriends Michael
223. 223. RossandMarkiePost,sent mealetterthatsaidsimply: Beescanstingyou.Watch out. Iknewjustwhatshemeant. MymovetoHotSprings gavemylifemanynew experiences:anew,much largerand moresophisticatedcity;a newneighborhood;anew
224. 224. school,newfriends,andmy introductiontomusic;my firstseriousreligious experienceinanewchurch; and,of course,anewextended familyintheClintonclan. Thehotsulfursprings,for whichthecityisnamed, bubbleupfrombelowground ina
225. 225. narrowgapintheOuachita Mountainsalittlemorethan fiftymileswestandslightly southofLittleRock.The firstEuropeantoseethem wasHernandodeSoto,who came throughthevalleyin1541, sawtheIndiansbathingin thesteamingsprings,and, legend
226. 226. hasit,thoughthehad discoveredthefountainof youth. In1832,PresidentAndrew Jacksonsignedabillto protectfoursectionsofland around HotSpringsasafederal reservation,thefirstsuchbill Congresseverenacted,well before
227. 227. theNationalParkService wasestablishedor Yellowstonebecameourfirst nationalpark. Soonmorehotelssprungup tohousevisitors.Bythe 1880s,CentralAvenue,the main street,snakingamileanda halforsothroughthegapin themountainswherethe springs
228. 228. were,wassproutingbeautiful bathhousesasmorethan 100,000peopleayearwere taking bathsforeverythingfrom rheumatismtoparalysisto malariatovenerealdiseaseto generalrelaxation.Inthe firstquarterofthetwentieth century,thegrandest bathhouses
229. 229. werebuilt,morethana millionbathsayearwere taken,andthespacity becameknown aroundtheworld.Afterits statuswaschangedfrom federalreservationto nationalpark, HotSpringsbecametheonly cityinAmericathatwas actuallyinoneofour national
230. 230. parks. Thecitysattractionwas amplifiedbygrandhotels,an operahouse,and,beginning in themid-nineteenthcentury, gambling.Bythe1880s, therewereseveralopen gambling houses,andHotSpringswas onitswaytobeingbothan
231. 231. attractivespaandanotorious town.Fordecadesbeforeand duringWorldWarII,itwas runbyabossworthyofany bigcity,MayorLeo McLaughlin.Heranthe gamblingwiththehelpofa mobsterwho moveddownfromNewYork, OwenVincentOwney Madden.
232. 232. Afterthewar,aGIticketof reformersheadedbySid McMathbrokeMcLaughlins powerinamovethat,soon after,madethethirty-five- year-oldMcMaththe nations youngestgovernor. NotwithstandingtheGI reformers,however, gamblingcontinuedto
233. 233. operate,withpayoffstostate andlocalpoliticiansandlaw- enforcementofficials,well intothe1960s.Owney MaddenlivedinHotSprings asarespectablecitizenfor therest ofhislife.Motheronceput himtosleepforsurgery.She camehomeafterwardand laughinglytoldmethat
234. 234. lookingathisX-raywaslike visitingaplanetarium:the twelve bulletsstillinhisbody remindedherofshooting stars. Ironically,becauseitwas illegal,theMafianevertook overgamblinginHot Springs; instead,wehadourownlocal
235. 235. bosses.Sometimesthe competinginterestsfought, butin mytime,theviolencewas alwayscontrolled.For example,thegaragesoftwo houses werebombed,butatatime whennoonewashome. Forthelastthreedecadesof thenineteenthcenturyand
236. 236. thefirstfiveofthetwentieth, gamblingdrewanamazing arrayofcharacterstotown: outlaws,mobsters,military heroes,actors,andahostof baseballgreats.The legendarypoolshark MinnesotaFats cameoften.In1977,as attorneygeneral,Ishotpool withhimforacharityinHot
237. 237. Springs.Hekilledmeinthe gamebutmadeupforitby regalingmewithstoriesof long- agovisits,whenheplayed thehorsesbyday,thenate andgambledupanddown Central Avenueallnight,addingto hispocketbookandhis famouswaistline.
238. 238. HotSpringsdrewpoliticians too.WilliamJenningsBryan cameseveraltimes.Sodid TeddyRooseveltin1910, HerbertHooverin1927,and FranklinandEleanor Roosevelt forthestatescentennialin 1936.HueyLonghada secondhoneymoonwithhis wife
239. 239. there.JFKandLyndon Johnsonvisitedbeforethey werePresidents.SodidHarry Truman,theonlyonewho gambledatleasttheonly onewhodidnthideit. Thegamblingandhot-water attractionsofHotSprings wereenhancedbylarge brightlylitauctionhouses, whichalternatedwith
240. 240. gamblingspotsand restaurantson CentralAvenueontheother sideofthestreetfromthe bathhouses;byOaklawn racetrack,whichofferedfine Thoroughbredracingfor thirtydaysayearinthe spring,the onlylegalgamblinginthe city;byslotmachinesin
241. 241. manyoftherestaurants, someof whichevenkidswere allowedtoplayiftheywere sittingontheirparentslaps; andby threelakesnearthecity,the mostimportantofwhichwas LakeHamilton,wheremany of thecitysgrandees,including
242. 242. UncleRaymond,hadlarge houses.Thousandsofpeople flockedtothelakesmotels forsummervacation.There wasalsoanalligatorfarmin whichthelargestresident waseighteenfeetlong;an ostrichfarm,whoseresidents sometimesparadeddown CentralAvenue;Keller BrelandsIQZoo,fullof
243. 243. animalsand featuringtheallegedskeleton ofamermaid;anda notoriouswhorehouserunby Maxine Harris(laterMaxineTemple Jones),arealcharacterwho openlydepositedherpayoffs in thelocalauthoritiesbank accountsandwhoin1983
244. 244. wroteaninterestingbook abouther life:CallMeMadam:The LifeandTimesofaHot SpringsMadam.WhenIwas tenor eleven,onacoupleof occasionsmyfriendsandI entertainedourselvesfor hoursby callingMaxinesplaceover
245. 245. andover,tyingupherphone andblockingcallsfromreal customers.Itinfuriatedher andshecursedusoutwith saltyandcreativelanguage wed neverbeforeheardfroma woman,oraman,forthat matter.Itwashilarious.I thinkshe thoughtitwasfunny,too,at
246. 246. leastforthefirstfifteen minutesorso. ForArkansas,astate composedmostlyofwhite SouthernBaptistsandblacks, Hot Springswasamazingly diverse,especiallyforatown ofonly35,000.Therewasa good- sizedblackpopulationanda
247. 247. hotel,theKnightsofthe Pythias,forblackvisitors. There weretwoCatholicchurches andtwosynagogues.The Jewishresidentsownedsome of thebeststoresandranthe auctionhouses.Thebesttoy storeintownwasRickys, named
248. 248. bytheSilvermansaftertheir son,whowasintheband withme.Laurays,the jewelry storewhereIboughtlittle thingsforMother,was ownedbyMartyandLaura Fleishner. AndtherewastheBnai BrithsLeoN.Levi Hospital,whichusedthehot springsto
249. 249. treatarthritis.Ialsometmy firstArab-AmericansinHot Springs,theZorubsandthe Hassins.WhenDavid Zorubsparentswerekilled inLebanon,hewasadopted byhis uncle.Hecametothis countryatnineunableto speakanyEnglishand eventually
250. 250. becamevaledictorianofhis classandgovernorofBoys State.Nowheisa neurosurgeon inPennsylvania.Guido Hassinandhissisterswere thechildrenoftheWorld WarII romanceofaSyrian- AmericanandanItalian woman;theyweremy neighborsduring
251. 251. highschool.Ialsohada Japanese-Americanfriend, AlbertHahm,andaCzech classmate, RenDuchac,whosemigr parentsownedarestaurant, TheLittleBohemia.There was alargeGreekcommunity, whichincludedaGreek Orthodoxchurchand Angelos,a
252. 252. restaurantjustaroundthe cornerfromClintonBuick.It wasagreatold-fashioned place, withitslongsodafountain likebarandtablescovered withred-and-whitechecked tablecloths.Thehouse specialtywasathree-way: chili,beans,andspaghetti. MybestGreekfriendsbyfar
253. 253. weretheLeopoulosfamily. Georgeranalittlecafon BridgeStreetbetween CentralAvenueand Broadway,whichweclaimed wastheshortest streetinAmerica,stretching allofathirdofablock. Georgeswife,Evelyn,wasa tiny womanwhobelievedin
254. 254. reincarnation,collected antiques,andlovedLiberace, who thrilledherbycomingtoher housefordinneroncewhile hewasperforminginHot Springs.Theyounger Leopoulosson,PaulDavid, becamemybestfriendin fourthgrade andhasbeenlikemybrother
255. 255. eversince. Whenwewereboys,Iloved togowithhimtohisdads caf,especiallywhenthe carnivalwasintown,because allthecarniesatethere.Once theygaveusfreeticketsto alltherides.Weusedevery oneofthem,makingDavid happyandmedizzyandsick to
256. 256. mystomach.AfterthatI stucktobumpercarsand Ferriswheels.Weveshared alifetime ofupsanddowns,and enoughlaughsforthree lifetimes. ThatIhadfriendsand acquaintancesfromsucha diversegroupofpeoplewhen Iwas
257. 257. youngmayseemnormal today,butin1950sArkansas, itcouldhavehappenedonly in HotSprings.Evenso,most ofmyfriendsandIledpretty normallives,apartfromthe occasionalcallstoMaxines bordelloandthetemptation tocutclassesduringracing season,whichIneverdid,but
258. 258. whichprovedirresistibleto someofmyclassmatesin high school. Fromfourththroughsixth grades,mostofmyliferan upanddownParkAvenue. Our neighborhoodwas interesting.Therewasarow ofbeautifulhouseseastof
259. 259. oursallthe waytothewoodsandanother rowbehindourhouseon CircleDrive.David Leopoulos livedacoupleofblocks away.Myclosestfriends amongthenearneighbors werethe Cranefamily.Theylivedina bigoldmysterious-looking
260. 260. woodenhousejustacross from mybackdrive.EdieCranes AuntDantooktheCrane kids,andoftenme, everywheretothemovies, toSnowSpringsParkto swiminapoolfedbyvery cold springwater,andto WhittingtonParktoplay
261. 261. miniaturegolf.Rose,the oldestkid,wasmy age.Larry,themiddlechild, wasacoupleofyears younger.Wealwayshada great relationshipexceptonce, whenIusedanewwordon him.Wewereplayingwith Rosein mybackyardwhenItoldhim
262. 262. hisepidermiswasshowing. Thatmadehimmad.ThenI toldhimtheepidermisesof hismotherandfatherwere showingtoo.Thatdidit.He went home,gotaknife,came back,andthrewitatme. Eventhoughhemissed,Ive beenleery ofbigwordseversince.
263. 263. MaryDan,theyoungest, askedmetowaitforherto growupso thatwecouldgetmarried. Acrossthestreetfromthe frontofourhousewasa collectionofmodest businesses. Therewasasmallgarage madeoftinsheeting.David andIusedtohidebehindthe
264. 264. oak treeandthrowacornsagainst thetintorattletheguyswho workedthere.Sometimeswe wouldalsotrytohitthe hubcapsofpassingcarsand, whenwesucceeded,itmade aloud pingingnoise.Onedayone ofourtargetsstopped suddenly,gotoutofthecar,
265. 265. sawus hidingbehindabush,and rushedupthedrivewayafter us.Afterthat,Ididntlobso manyacornsatcars.Butit wasgreatfun. Nexttothegaragewasa brickblockthatcontaineda grocery,aLaundromat,and Stubbys,asmallfamily-run
266. 266. barbequerestaurant,whereI oftenenjoyedamealalone, justsittingatthefronttable bythewindow,wondering aboutthelivesofthepeople in thepassingcars.Igotmy firstjobatthirteeninthat grocerystore.Theowner, Dick Sanders,wasalreadyabout
267. 267. seventy,and,likemany peoplehisagebackthen,he thought itwasabadthingtobeleft- handed,sohedecidedto changeme,adeeplyleft- handed person.Onedayhehadme stackingmayonnaiseright- handed,bigjarsof Hellmanns
268. 268. mayonnaise,whichcost eighty-ninecents.I misstackedoneanditfellto thefloor, leavingamessofbroken glassandmayo.FirstI cleaneditup.ThenDicktold mehed havetodockmypayforthe lostjar.Iwasmakinga dollaranhour.Igotupmy courage
269. 269. andsaid,Look,Dick,you canhaveagoodleft-handed groceryboyforadollaran hour, butyoucanthaveaclumsy right-handedoneforfree. Tomysurprise,helaughed and agreed.Heevenletmestart myfirstbusiness,aused comic-bookstandinfrontof the
270. 270. store.Ihadcarefullysaved twotrunkloadsofcomic books.Theywereinvery good conditionandsoldwell.At thetimeIwasproudof myself,thoughIknownow thatifId savedthem,theydbe valuablecollectorsitems today.
271. 271. Nexttoourhousegoingwest, towardtown,wasthePerry PlazaMotel.Ilikedthe Perrysandtheirdaughter Tavia,whowasayearortwo olderthanI.OnedayIwas visitingherjustaftershed gottenanewBBgun.Imust havebeennineorten.She threw abeltonthefloorandsaidif
272. 272. Isteppedoveritshedshoot me.Ofcourse,Idid.Andshe shotme.Itwasaleghitsoit couldhavebeenworse,andI resolvedtobecomeabetter judgeofwhensomeones bluffing. Iremembersomethingelse aboutthePerrysmotel.It wasyellow-bricktwo stories
273. 273. highandoneroomwide, stretchingfromParkAvenue toCircleDrive.Sometimes people wouldrentroomsthere,and atothermotelsandrooming housesaroundtown,for weeks orevenmonthsatatime. Onceamiddle-agedmandid thatwiththebackmostroom on
274. 274. thesecondfloor.Onedaythe policecameandtookhim away.Hehadbeen performing abortionsthere.Untilthen,I dontthinkIknewwhatan abortionwas. FartherdownParkAvenue wasalittlebarbershop, whereMr.Brizendinecutmy hair.
275. 275. Aboutaquartermilepastthe barbershop,ParkAvenue runsintoRambleStreet, which thenledsouthupahilltomy newschool,Ramble Elementary.InfourthgradeI started band.Thegradeschoolband wascomposedofstudents fromallthecitys elementary
276. 276. schools.Thedirector,George Gray,hadagreat, encouragingwaywithlittle kidsaswe squawkedaway.Iplayed clarinetforayearorso,then switchedtotenorsaxophone becausethebandneededone, achangeIwouldnever regret.Mymostvivid memoryof
277. 277. fifthgradeisaclass discussionaboutmemoryin whichoneofmyclassmates, Tommy ONeal,toldourteacher, Mrs.Caristianos,hethought hecouldrememberwhenhe was born.Ididntknowwhether hehadavividimaginationor aloosescrew,butIlikedhim
278. 278. andhadfinallymetsomeone withanevenbettermemory thanmine. Iadoredmysixth-grade teacher,KathleenSchaer. Likealotofteachersofher generation,shenevermarried anddevotedherlifeto children.Shelivedintoher late eightieswithhercousin,who
279. 279. madethesamechoices.As gentleandkindasshewas, MissSchaerbelievedin toughlove.Thedaybefore wehadourlittlegradeschool graduationceremony,she heldmeafterclass.Shetold meIshouldbegraduating firstin myclass,tiedwithDonna Standiford.Instead,because
280. 280. mycitizenshipgradeswere so lowwemighthavebeen callingitdeportmentby thenIhadbeendroppedto atie forthird.MissSchaersaid, Billy,whenyougrowup youreeithergoingtobe governor orgetinalotoftrouble.It
281. 281. alldependsonwhetheryou learnwhentotalkandwhen to keepquiet.Turnsoutshe wasrightonbothcounts. WhenIwasatRamble,my interestinreadinggrewandI discoveredtheGarland CountyPublicLibrary,which wasdowntown,nearthe courthouseandnotfarfrom
282. 282. ClintonBuickCompany.I wouldgothereforhours, browsingamongthebooks and readinglotsofthem.Iwas mostfascinatedbybooks aboutNativeAmericansand read childrensbiographiesof Geronimo,thegreatApache; CrazyHorse,theLakota Sioux
283. 283. whokilledCusterandrouted histroopsatLittleBighorn; ChiefJosephoftheNez Perc, whomadepeacewithhis powerfulstatement,From wherethesunnowstands,I will fightnomoreforever;and thegreatSeminolechief Osceola,whodevelopeda written
284. 284. alphabetforhispeople.I neverlostmyinterestin NativeAmericansormy feelingthat theyhadbeenterribly mistreated. MylaststoponParkAvenue wasmyfirstrealchurch, ParkPlaceBaptistChurch. ThoughMotherandDaddy didntgoexceptonEaster
285. 285. andsometimesatChristmas, Motherencouragedmetogo, andIdid,justaboutevery Sunday.Ilovedgetting dressed upandwalkingdownthere. FromthetimeIwasabout elevenuntilIgraduatedfrom high school,myteacherwasA.B. SonnyJeffries.Hisson
286. 286. Bertwasinmyclassandwe becameclosefriends.Every Sundayforyears,wewentto Sundayschoolandchurch together,alwayssittinginthe back,ofteninourownworld. In1955,Ihadabsorbed enoughofmychurchs teachingstoknowthatIwas asinnerandtowantJesusto save
287. 287. me.SoIcamedowntheaisle attheendofSundayservice, professedmyfaithinChrist, andaskedtobebaptized.The ReverendFitzgeraldcameto thehousetotalktoMother andme.Baptistsrequirean informedprofessionoffaith forbaptism;theywant peopleto knowwhattheyaredoing,as
288. 288. opposedtotheMethodists infant-sprinklingritualthat took Hillaryandherbrothersout ofhellsway. BertJeffriesandIwere baptizedtogether,alongwith severalotherpeopleona Sunday night.Thebaptismalpool wasjustabovethechoirloft.
289. 289. Whenthecurtainswere opened, thecongregationcouldsee thepastorstandinginawhite robe,dunkingthesaved.Just aheadofBertandmeinthe linewasawomanwhowas visiblyafraidofthewater. She trembleddownthestepsinto thepool.Whenthepreacher
290. 290. heldhernoseanddunkedher, shewentcompletelyrigid. Herrightlegjerkedstraight upintheairandcametorest on thenarrowstripofglassthat protectedthechoirloftfrom splashes.Herheelstuck.She couldntgetitoff,sowhen thepreachertriedtolifther up,hecouldntbudgeher.
291. 291. Since hewaslookingather submergedhead,hedidnt seewhathadhappened,sohe justkept jerkingonher.Finallyhe lookedaround,figureditout, andtookthepoorwomans leg downbeforeshedrowned. BertandIwereinstitches.I
292. 292. couldnthelpthinkingthatif Jesushadthismuchofa senseofhumor,beinga Christianwasntgoingtobe sotough. Besidesmynewfriends, neighborhood,school,and church,HotSpringsbrought mea newextendedfamilyinthe Clintons.Mystep-
293. 293. grandparentswereAland EulaMae CornwellClinton.PoppyAl, asweallcalledhim,came fromDardanelle,inYell County, abeautifulwoodedplace seventymileswestofLittle RockuptheArkansasRiver. He metandmarriedhiswife
294. 294. thereafterherfamily migratedfromMississippiin the1890s. Wecalledmynew grandmotherMamaClinton. Shewasoneofahuge Cornwellfamily thatspreadoutallover Arkansas.Togetherwiththe Clintonsandmymothers relatives,
295. 295. theygavemekinfolkin fifteenofArkansasseventy- fivecounties,anenormous asset whenIstartedmypolitical careerinatimewhen personalcontactscounted morethan credentialsorpositionson theissues. PoppyAlwasasmallman,
296. 296. shorterandslighterthan Papaw,withakind,sweet spirit. ThefirsttimeImethimwe werestilllivinginHopeand hedroppedbyourhouseto see hissonandhisnewfamily. Hewasntalone.Atthetime, hewasstillworkingasa parole
297. 297. officerforthestateandhe wastakingoneofthe prisoners,whomusthave beenouton furlough,backtothe penitentiary.Whenhegotout ofthecartovisit,theman was handcuffedtohim.Itwasa hilarioussight,becausethe inmatewashuge;hemust have
298. 298. beentwicePoppyAlssize. ButPoppyAlspoketohim gentlyandrespectfullyand the manseemedtorespondin kind.AllIknowisthat PoppyAlgothismansafely backon time. PoppyAlandMamaClinton livedinasmalloldhouseup
299. 299. ontopofahill.Hekepta gardenoutback,ofwhichhe wasveryproud.Helivedto beeighty-four,andwhenhe wasovereighty,thatgarden producedatomatothat weighedtwoandahalf pounds.Ihad tousebothhandstoholdit. MamaClintonruledthe
300. 300. house.Shewasgoodtome, butsheknewhowto manipulate themeninherlife.She alwaystreatedDaddylikethe babyofthefamilywhocould do nowrong,whichisprobably onereasonhenevergrewup. ShelikedMother,whowas betterthanmostoftheother
301. 301. familymembersatlistening toherhypochondriacaltales of woeandatgivingsensible, sympatheticadvice.She livedtobeninety-three. PoppyAlandMamaClinton producedfivechildren,one girlandfourboys.Thegirl, AuntIlaree,wasthesecond- oldestchild.Herdaughter
302. 302. Virginia,whosenickname was Sister,wasthenmarriedto GabeCrawfordandwasa goodfriendofMothers.The older shegot,themoreofan idiosyncraticcharacterIlaree became.OnedayMotherwas visitingherandIlaree complainedshewashaving
303. 303. troublewalking.Sheliftedup herskirt, revealingahugegrowthon theinsideofherleg.Not longafterward,whenshemet Hillaryforthefirsttime,she pickedupherskirtagainand showedherthetumor.Itwas a goodbeginning.Ilareewas thefirstoftheClintonsto
304. 304. reallylikeHillary.Mother finally convincedhertohavethe tumorremoved,andshetook thefirstflightofherlifeto the MayoClinic.Bythetime theycutthetumoroffit weighedninepounds,but miraculously ithadnotspreadcancercells
305. 305. totherestofherleg.Iwas toldtheclinickeptthat amazing tumorforsometimefor study.WhenjauntyoldIlaree gothome,itwasclearshe had beenmoreafraidofherfirst flightthanofthetumoror thesurgery. TheoldestsonwasRobert.
306. 306. Heandhiswife,Evelyn, werequietpeoplewholived in Texasandwhoseemed sensiblyhappytotakeHot Springsandtherestofthe Clintonsin smalldoses. Thesecondson,UncleRoy, hadafeedstore.Hiswife, Janet,andMotherwerethe
307. 307. two strongestpersonalities outsidethebloodfamily,and becamegreatfriends.Inthe early fiftiesRoyranforthe legislatureandwon.On electionday,Ihandedout cardsforhimin myneighborhood,ascloseto thepollingstationasthelaw
308. 308. wouldallow.Itwasmyfirst politicalexperience.Uncle Royservedonlyoneterm.He wasverywelllikedbut didnt runforreelection,Ithink becauseJanethatedpolitics. RoyandJanetplayed dominoes withmyfolksalmostevery weekforyears,alternating
309. 309. betweenourhomeandtheirs. Raymond,thefourthchild, wastheonlyClintonwith anymoneyorconsistent involvementinpolitics.He hadbeenpartoftheGI reformeffortafterWorld WarII, althoughhewasntinthe servicehimself.Raymond Jr.,Corky,wastheonly
310. 310. onewho wasyoungerthanI.Hewas alsobrighter.Heliterally becamearocketscientist, witha distinguishedcareerat NASA. Motheralwayshadan ambiguousrelationshipwith Raymond,becauseheliked torun
311. 311. everythingandbecause,with Daddysdrinking,weoften neededhishelpmorethatshe wantedit.Whenwefirst movedtoHotSprings,we evenwenttoUncle Raymonds church,FirstPresbyterian, thoughMotherwasatleasta nominalBaptist.Thepastor back
312. 312. then,theReverend Overholser,wasaremarkable manwhoproducedtwo equally remarkabledaughters:Nan Keohane,whobecame presidentofWellesley, Hillarysalma mater,andthenthefirst womanpresidentofDuke University;andGeneva Overholser,
313. 313. whowaseditoroftheDes MoinesRegisterand endorsedmewhenIranfor President, andwholaterbecamethe ombudsmanforthe WashingtonPost,whereshe airedthe legitimatecomplaintsofthe generalpublicbutnotthe President.
314. 314. NotwithstandingMothers reservations,Iliked Raymond.Iwasimpressed withhis strength,hisinfluencein town,andhisgenuine interestinhiskids,andin me.His egocentricfoiblesdidnt bothermemuch,thoughwe wereasdifferentasdaylight and
315. 315. dark.In1968,whenIwas givingprocivilrightstalks tocivicclubsinHotSprings, Raymondwassupporting GeorgeWallacefor President.Butin1974,when Ilaunchedan apparentlyimpossible campaignforCongress, RaymondandGabeCrawford co-signeda
316. 316. $10,000notetogetme started.Itwasallthemoney intheworldtomethen. Whenhis wifeofmorethanforty-five yearsdied,Raymondgot reacquaintedwithawidowhe had datedinhighschoolandthey married,bringinghappiness tohislastyears.Forsome
317. 317. reasonIcantevenremember now,Raymondgotmadat melateinhislife.Beforewe couldreconcilehegot Alzheimers.Iwenttovisit himtwice,onceinSt. Josephs Hospitalandonceina nursinghome.Thefirsttime ItoldhimIlovedhim,was sorryfor
318. 318. whateverhadcomebetween us,andwouldalwaysbe gratefulforallheddonefor me. HemighthaveknownwhoI wasforaminuteortwo;I cantbesure.Thesecond time,I knowhedidntknowme,but Iwantedtoseehimonce moreanyway.Hediedat eighty-
319. 319. four,likemyauntOllie,well afterhismindhadgone. Raymondandhisfamily livedinabighouseonLake Hamilton,whereweusedto go forpicnicsandridesinhis bigwoodenChris-Craftboat. WecelebratedeveryFourth of Julytherewithlotsof
320. 320. fireworks.Afterhisdeath, Raymondskidsdecidedwith sadness thattheyhadtoselltheold house.Luckilymylibrary andfoundationneededa retreat,so weboughttheplaceandare renovatingitforthat purpose,andRaymondskids and
321. 321. grandkidscanstilluseit. Hessmilingdownonme now. Notlongafterwemovedto ParkAvenue,in1955Ithink, mymothersparentsmoved to HotSpringstoalittle apartmentinanoldhouseon ourstreet,amileorso towardtown
322. 322. fromourplace.Themove wasmotivatedprimarilyby healthconcerns.Papaws bronchiectasiscontinuedto advanceandMammawhad hadastroke.Papawgotajob ata liquorstore,whichIthink Daddyownedapartof,just acrossfromMr.Brizendines barbershop.Hehadalotof
323. 323. freetime,sinceeveninHot Springsmostpeopleweretoo conventionaltofrequent liquorstoresinbroad daylight,soIoftenvisited himthere.He playedalotofsolitaireand taughtmehow.Istillplay threedifferentkinds,often when Imthinkingthrougha
324. 324. problemandneedanoutlet fornervousenergy. Mammawsstrokewasa majorone,andinthe aftermathshewasrackedby hysterical screaming.Unforgivably,to calmherdown,herdoctor prescribedmorphine,lotsof it.It waswhenshegothookedthat
325. 325. Motherbroughtherand PapawtoHotSprings.Her behaviorbecameevenmore irrational,andindesperation Motherreluctantly committed hertothestatesmental hospital,aboutthirtymiles away.Idontthinkthere wereany drug-treatmentfacilitiesback
326. 326. then. OfcourseIdidntknow anythingaboutherproblem atthetime;Ijustknewshe was sick.ThenMotherdroveme overtothestatehospitalto seeher.Itwasawful.Itwas bedlam.Wewentintoabig openroomcooledbyelectric fansencasedinhugemetal
327. 327. meshtokeepthepatients fromputtingtheirhandsinto them.Dazed-lookingpeople dressedinloosecotton dressesorpajamaswalked aroundaimlessly,muttering to themselvesorshoutinginto space.Still,Mammaw seemednormalandgladto seeus,and
328. 328. wehadagoodtalk.Aftera fewmonths,shehadsettled downenoughtocomehome, and shewasneveragainon morphine.Herproblemgave memyfirstexposuretothe kindof mental-healthsystemthat servedmostofAmericaback then.Whenhebecame governor,
329. 329. OrvalFaubusmodernizedour statehospitalandputalot moremoneyintoit.Despite the damagehedidinotherareas, Iwasalwaysgratefultohim forthat. FIVE In1956,Ifinallygota brother,andourfamily finallygotatelevisionset.
330. 330. Mybrother, RogerCassidyClinton,was bornonJuly25,hisfathers birthday.Iwassohappy. MotherandDaddyhadbeen tryingtohaveababyfor sometime(acoupleofyears earliershedhada miscarriage).Ithinkshe,and probablyhetoo,thoughtit mightsave
331. 331. theirmarriage.Daddys responsewasnotauspicious. IwaswithMammawand Papaw whenMotherdeliveredby caesareansection.Daddy pickedmeupandtookmeto see her,thenbroughtmehome andleft.Hehadbeen drinkingforthelastfew months,and
332. 332. insteadofmakinghimhappy andresponsible,thebirthof hisonlysonpromptedhimto runbacktothebottle. Alongwiththeexcitementof anewbabyinthehousewas thethrillofthenewTV. Therewerelotsofshowsand entertainersforkids: cartoons,CaptainKangaroo and
333. 333. HowdyDoody,withBuffalo BobSmith,whomI especiallyliked.Andthere was baseball:MickeyMantleand theYankees,StanMusialand theCardinals,andmyall- timefavorite,WillieMays andtheoldNewYorkGiants. Butstrangeasitwasforakid oftenyearsold,whatreally
334. 334. dominatedmyTVviewing thatsummerwerethe RepublicanandDemocratic conventions.Isatonthe floorrightin frontoftheTVandwatched themboth,transfixed.It soundscrazy,butIfeltright at homeintheworldofpolitics andpoliticians.Iliked
335. 335. PresidentEisenhowerand enjoyed seeinghimrenominated,but wewereDemocrats,soI reallygotintotheir convention. GovernorFrankClementof Tennesseegavearousing keynoteaddress.Therewas an excitingcontestforthevice-
336. 336. presidentialnomination betweenyoungSenatorJohn F. Kennedyandtheeventual victor,SenatorEstes Kefauver,whoserved Tennesseeinthe SenatewithAlGoresfather. WhenAdlaiStevenson,the nomineein1952,accepted his
337. 337. partyscalltorunagain,he saidhehadprayedthiscup wouldpassfromme.I admired Stevensonsintelligenceand eloquence,buteventhenI couldntunderstandwhy anyone wouldntwantthechanceto bePresident.NowIthink whathedidntwantwasto lead
338. 338. anotherlosingeffort.Ido understandthat.Ivelosta coupleofelectionsmyself, thoughI neverfoughtabattleIdidnt firstconvincemyselfIcould win. Ididntspendallmytime watchingTV.Istillsawall themoviesIcould.Hot Springs
339. 339. hadtwoold-fashionedmovie houses,theParamountand theMalco,withbigstageson whichtouringwesternstars appearedontheweekends.I sawLashLaRue,alldecked out incowboyblack,dohis trickswithabullwhip,and GailDavis,whoplayed AnnieOakley
340. 340. onTV,giveashooting exhibition. ElvisPresleybegantomake moviesinthelatefifties.I lovedElvis.Icouldsingall his songs,aswellasthe Jordanairesbackgrounds.I admiredhimfordoinghis military serviceandwasfascinated
341. 341. whenhemarriedhis beautifulyoungwife, Priscilla.Unlike mostparents,whothought hisgyrationsobscene, MotherlovedElvis,too, maybeeven morethanIdid.Wewatched hislegendaryperformanceon TheEdSullivanShow together,andlaughedwhen
342. 342. thecamerascutoffhislower bodymovementstoprotect us fromtheindecency.Beyond hismusic,Iidentifiedwith hissmall-townsouthern roots. AndIthoughthehadagood heart.SteveClark,afriendof minewhoservedasattorney generalwhenIwasgovernor,
343. 343. oncetookhislittlesister, whowasdyingofcancer,to see ElvisperforminMemphis. WhenElvisheardaboutthe littlegirl,heputherandher brotherinthefrontrow,and aftertheconcerthebrought heruponstageandtalkedto her foragoodwhile.Inever
344. 344. forgotthat. Elvissfirstmovie,LoveMe Tender,wasmyfavoriteand remainsso,thoughIalso likedLovingYou,Jailhouse Rock,KingCreole,andBlue Hawaii.Afterthat,his movies gotmoresaccharineand predictable.Theinteresting thingaboutLoveMeTender,
345. 345. a postCivilWarwestern,is thatElvis,alreadyanational sexsymbol,gotthegirl, Debra Paget,butonlybecauseshe thoughthisolderbrother, whomshereallyloved,had been killedinthewar.Attheend ofthefilm,Elvisgetsshot
346. 346. anddies,leavinghisbrother with hiswife. IneverquiteescapedElvis. Inthe92campaign,some membersofmystaff nicknamedmeElvis.Afew yearslater,whenIappointed KimWardlawofLos Angeles
347. 347. toafederaljudgeship,she wasthoughtfulenoughto sendmeascarfElvishad wornand signedforheratoneofhis concertsintheearly seventies,whenshewas nineteen.Istill haveitinmymusicroom. AndIconfess:Istilllove Elvis.
348. 348. Myfavoritemoviesduring thistimewerethebiblical epics:TheRobe,Demetrius and theGladiators,Samsonand Delilah,Ben-Hur,and especiallyTheTen Commandments, thefirstmovieIrecall payingmorethanadimeto see.IsawTheTen Commandments
349. 349. whenMotherandDaddy wereonabrieftriptoLas Vegas.Itookasacklunch andsat throughthewholething twiceforthepriceofone ticket.Yearslater,whenI welcomed CharltonHestontotheWhite HouseasaKennedyCenter honoree,hewaspresidentof
350. 350. theNationalRifle Associationandavirulent criticofmylegislative effortstokeepguns awayfromcriminalsand children.Ijokedtohimand theaudiencethatIlikedhim better asMosesthaninhispresent role.Tohiscredit,hetookit ingoodhumor.