Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 1

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 2

Interviewer: Ashley PasquarielloInterviewee: Lauren JohnsonYear of Birth: Interview Date: April 2011Location of Interview: Nashville, TNInterview Duration: 57:51

Full Transcript:

INTERVIEWER: Ok. Thank you so much for agreeing to participate in this project. It will surely benefit the community now and in the future. The goal of this questionnaire is to produce as detailed and coherent a narrative of your story as possible. In light of that, I encourage you to feel free to not worry about providing an answer that is too long or too in-depth. That’s what we want! I realize that you have already signed the consent form, but I also want to let you know that you should feel free to tell me if there’s any particular thing you say during the course of the interview that you’d like me to remove from the transcript or other preservation methods.

Ok. So the first question is just to tell me about your place of birth and what was going on where you were growing up and what it was like.

Johnson: Ok. Um, I was born in Washington, DC. Um and I maybe lived there for two months before moving further south to Tennessee. Um, so I was born in 1989, so around that time I don’t really know what kind of political or social unrest was occurring in the United States but that’s pretty much it.

INTERVIEWER: Where did you go to elementary school? And what was the school like?

Johnson: I was actually homeschooled until the tenth grade. My mom did most of the schooling and teaching.

INTERVIEWER: Can you tell me a story that you remember well from the time that you were in elementary school?

Johnson: I remember going on a lot of field trips. So my mom liked to incorporate a lot of interactive things along with our schooling, and since we were homeschooled we had a lot of freedom to do those things. So we used to go to the Fernbank Museum, which is in Georgia, um, in Atlanta, and we’ve gone to a lot of different science museums, um, IMAX, just a lot of different films, like maybe about the Serengeti, or stuff like that that you wouldn’t necessarily get that experience in the public school. That’s what I remember the most.

INTERVIEWER: Yea. So did you ever get together with other homeschooled kids?

Johnson: Yea! There was a homeschool group that we were a part of, so they would have events or meetings every so often maybe every month or twice a month in which we would get together on the weekend, go skating, like more social interactions, or they’d have maybe like book

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seminars where we’d go and pick out our books for the next year, kind of any books we were interested in along with curriculum. Those kind of things.

INTERVIEWER: Cool. So outside of school, what were your childhood years like?

Johnson: Gymnastics. I was a gymnast from when I was two to fourteen. So growing up I was probably in the gym starting out maybe twenty hours a week, I used to go four days a week, and then when I got older, I decided to become an elite. I had practice twice a day, so I would work out from 8:30am to 11:30am, I would do school from 11:45am to about 2:30pm, and then I’d go back and practice from 2:30pm to 6:30pm, and then I guess any work I didn’t finish I would go home and do. And I did that Monday through Thursday, Friday we got off, and then Saturday I had practice 8:30am to 1:30pm. And so that was pretty much my week, and then of course when it was when we were in season, I would travel to a lot of different places, and so I mean that was more, that was still a family event because my sister and my mom and everything because she was homeschooled she could take off and come to my meets and stuff like that.

INTERVIEWER: Ok, so, that was why you were homeschooled?

Johnson: Um, no, because my sister was also homeschooled. We were both homeschooled up until my sister in ninth grade and me tenth grade, and it just so happened to work out that when I became more serious about gymnastics, and I was working out the 33 hours a week or whatever, that I happened to already be homeschooled, because a lot of kids that become serious about gymnastics, they end up leaving public school and becoming home schooled—I just happened to already be in it.

INTERVIEWER: Oh, ok. So what did you do, did you do much socializing or other stuff outside of the groups and gymnastics?

Johnson: I guess a lot of the socialization was interacting with the girls in my gym. Because a lot of them did go to public school, so, of course anything they talked about or I would hear through them and we would discuss. When I got older, maybe 7th grade-ish, 6th and 7th grade, we started going to church on Wednesday nights along with Sunday nights, so that was like my social outing with people that weren’t necessarily a part of my gym and I guess boys for once, for a change.

INTERVIEWER: Yea, so thinking about school when you were in like middle school and high school age, what were your favorite subjects that you learned about, or like your favorite field trips I guess I could ask too, and what made them your favorites?

Johnson: When I was younger math was definitely my favorite subject. I guess that was then. When I moved more toward high school I suppose it changed a little, not really, I enjoyed all subjects, probably less science when I got to high school than before. As far as field trips in high school, I don’t really think we went on many, it was more just, I mean, we went to the aquarium I think my senior year for AP Biology. We had like a field trip, and my mom actually chauffeured that. So um, it was nice getting together for that. We kind of got a back, in the background scene tour of everything and that was quite interesting.

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INTERVIEWER: Yea. So did your parents or your grandparents or any other elders in your family ever try and get you involved in anything, did they have a hand in getting you involved in anything of the stuff that you were involved in or try and influence you to do stuff that you ended up not doing?

Johnson: Um, I think that everything I got involved in came from my interests. But there were certain things that were less acceptable to be interested in—not for me really, but for my sister, when she went to high school, she ended up joining the Step team. And my parents didn’t really know what that was, what stepping was, and I guess when they saw that it was like more of a black thing, they kind of wanted her to shy away from that I guess. I mean, they let her do it, but just something they were unfamiliar with, they didn’t quite understand. Their focus was really academic. And so anything else that I did, like sports-wise, of course they wanted me to excel, if it was something that was legitimate. Because my sister and I both did track in high school, and my mother had put me in gymnastics when I was a lot younger. So, I mean, pretty much very supportive of everything we did, as long as it was something that they could plausibly understand.

INTERVIEWER: Yea. So thinking about the times that you weren’t, um, doing all of your stuff, what were your favorite TV programs, and why were they your favorite? If you remember any particular episodes or anything like that.

Johnson: When I was young, or older?

INTERVIEWER: From like middle school, high school age range.

Johnson: Ok. Um, I think in middle school I can’t really remember watching TV that much. I never really was at home, so, I didn’t watch too much TV. I liked watching, I think that was when reality TV shows starting becoming into prominence, so I watched the Real World Road Rules Challenges, I watched One Tree Hill I remember a lot. Um yea, stuff like that. I guess just getting a different perspective of what different people’s lives were like, compared to like not being really focused on sports, it just shows teenagers going to high school or public school or whatever it was interesting.

INTERVIEWER: Yea. Real World, ha ha. So did you like to read for pleasure ever?

Johnson: Yea, that was a really big thing in my family. We were always at the library. My mom was from a really young age wanted us to prefer reading. My dad too. It was like turn off the TV and read a book. So we did book clubs at the library. They’d have lists they’d post every year and we’d try to read a lot of them. I read a lot of Nancy Drew, mystery novels. I read pretty much everything. It was just a different thing every time we went to the library. We did a lot of library trips. So it was just a lot of different books, and not just necessarily for school. I guess when I got older it became more for school but it was a lot more pleasure when I was younger in middle school and stuff.

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INTERVIEWER: When you were in high school did you keep up with politics or current events at all?

Johnson: In high school I wasn’t too interested in politics, I think I kept up with them as far as they were related to high school things, so if we had student government and they were proposing a change or something like that, I would kind of keep up on that. But as far as what was going on in the world, I guess overall I wasn’t too interested in, unless I was in Poli Sci or economics or something like that in high school.

INTEREVIEWER: So was there anything that you remember that particularly stuck out to you from hearing your parents talk about it or the news or anything like that?

Johnson: Well I guess before I was in high school 9/11 happened, and I remember I was at the gym because I was doing my morning practice. And I remember where I was standing and everything. We heard it over the radio, because they used to have the radio on sometimes in the morning, and we heard that happened, and I mean I didn’t really know what the World—I think I was 11—so I didn’t really know what the World Trade Center was or what was going on, but they kept repeating it, and it seemed like it was something serious. And then I think later my mom came to pick me up from practice I think a little bit early, and when we went home for me to start my work she was watching TV and she was crying, so I realized that it was like a big deal. And so my mom went and like picked up my sister, and then over the next few days you start to realize what really happened and why it was such a big deal. So that’s pretty much all we watched for a while at home, just like updates. And I had family in New York, so of course like the calls to see if everyone’s OK, and that all turned out well, so I guess that was the biggest thing I can remember as far as news-wise.

INTERVIEWER: So what, like, do you remember when you were watching the news and seeing your mom react and things, do you remember how you felt emotionally about that event?

Johnson: I guess I didn’t know why she was crying per say, like personally, watching, I was kind of confused. Because I was young and so I didn’t really get the whole you know these are Americans, but like weeks went by and I guess it was a learning experience because you hear on the news and everyone’s talking about America and like coming together, and so then you start to realize like what a big deal it is. And then all the stuff they were talking about on TV about people coming together and helping each other, it just really seemed like you know a community coming together, so you know I started to feel more about it, like feel sad for what happened to the people. And so of course from there my mom like bought books and looked through them, read about different people’s stories and stuff like that, and hearing about it in church, so yea. I guess I became more emotional later on, after I realized what happened.

INTERVIEWER: So just kind of to switch gears a little bit, in terms of your social life in high school, who were the people that you hung around with the most, and what did you guys usually do for fun, where did you go?

Johnson: Coming in 10th grade, everyone already I felt kind of had their friends from either they’d known all their life, or they had met during 9th grade year, so I kind of came in like new,

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so I was kind of weird about that, kind of scared. But my sister was there. So I had met her friends, I had been to a few football games. So I guess the biggest kind of anxiety I guess was lunch, since I didn’t know who I was going to sit with because I didn’t know anyone at all the first day. But I happened to get my sister’s lunch with her friends, so I got to sit with them. So then of course being in class I started making friends with I guess people my age, or my year, and then from there it was more I guess um, I was in a lot of AP Honors classes, so a lot of people take the same classes if they’re in those classes, so you end up having classes with a lot of the same people so I became friends with them. But a bigger part of my social experience was from being in the track team, and I joined that because my sister was in that when I came, so I joined that immediately sophomore year, and there are a lot of different girls in there so that’s what became like our, a lot of fun.

Where we used to go? It was more like where we were allowed to go. My parents were like really strict, and so it was like my dad was the kind of “You need to ask in advance,” but you don’t’ really know in advance like, “Oh, everyone’s going to so-and-so’s house today.” My mom was more lenient, but at the same time the things that people wanted to do, like go to a teen club or go to the movies late at night, it usually took a lot more asking and stuff like that. So a lot of the stuff we did for fun was like go swimming in our neighborhood, you know, walk around. We’d go to the movies and the mall during the day, you know, stuff like that. Just normal stuff.

INTERVIEWER: Did you feel like your parents were more strict than your friends’ parents?

Johnson: Definitely. [Laughter]. Um, yea, there was no comparison. I also had another friend, one of my best friends, she lived down the street from me, and her parents are also Guyanese, and it’s the same thing. Like, “What are you doing? Where are you going? Why do you need to be out so late?” And late’s like 8, 9 o’clock. And I had another best friend, who, her mom had had her when she was really young, so she would just tell her mom like, “Hey, yea, we’re going to go here,” and she’s just like “OK, just call me.” And it was so easy for her. And everything for us was like pulling teeth, you know you have to like ask a week in advance, and sometimes it’d be like “Oh, well if you clean up the entire house, then we’ll see.” And so we’d like clean the entire house, and then it’d be like “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t really trust that situation.”

I mean it’s like me and my sister we really good kids, but at the same time it was like other people, I guess it was that mistrust of what other people were doing. And I guess it was just the culture, they didn’t grow up doing those things. They didn’t grow up going out late at night, they didn’t grow up having the freedoms that are normal in this society. So they didn’t understand when we wanted to do a lot of those things why we wanted to. And then they’d kind of bring it back to “Well, I was never going out at these late times.” It was frustrating.

INTERVIEWER: So were you, I guess I’ll ask, were you allowed to date in middle school and high school? And did you date in middle school and high school?

Johnson: No. Ha ha. We’re not allowed to date in middle or high school. My, I did date, and my mom, she knew about it, but it wasn’t like a sanctioned thing. As I got a little bit older I’d get more comfortable, and so if she heard me talking on the phone she’d be like “Who are you talking to?” And I’d be like “Nobody” and she’d be like “Uh-huh…You’re talking to some boy!”

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But if I said hey, can I go out on a date, can we go to the movies together? It would have been a no. And me knowing that, I never would ask, it would just be sort of if I’m going to the movies, I’d have to say, “Oh, I’m going with a friend,” and then like try to meet up there—more underhanded things that I’d prefer not to do, but I wouldn’t have gotten to go out if I’d have asked just straight.

INTERVIEWER: Tell me more about your parents, like what they’re like and what stories you can think of and what stories people in your family tell that characterize them.

Johnson: [Laughter]. There’s so many! My parents… Do you want to know like where they met?

INTERVIEWER: Yea!

Johnson: They met in Guyana, I’m not exactly sure, I guess through mutual friends and stuff like that. And they started to date, and it progressed. And my dad actually came to the United States before my mom did, and that’s like a normal thing. It’s like one person will come and try to get established, and then send for the other person or you know because it’s like difficult to kind of get in, and then also the legal aspect of it. So then he came here first, and then eventually my mom was able to come and that’s when they got married and then they had my sister and then me.

And I guess to characterize my mom, she was the oldest out of 9, 8? I’d have to count. She was always taking care of the others, like the younger ones, she wasn’t really any trouble in high school- at any point in time. In middle school she used to go buy groceries and everything like that, for the family. Her passion was teaching, so she went and she taught at places in Guyana before she came to America. My dad, from what I’ve come to hear, through the grape vine here and there, he was more of like a, out there kind of more, socially. So when he met my mom he was just pretty much like more calmed down and then tried to- and then they got married, so.

INTERVIEWER: I know you said a little bit like you felt like you had to hide things from your parents, in general how would you characterize your relationship with your parents in middle school and high school, and do you feel like this relationship changed as you got older?

Johnson: Me and my mother have always been very close. I’m her favorite, she tells me. We were really close, middle school, high school, because she homeschooled us, both me and my sister. And my dad, from when I was 10 years old to 17 he traveled, so he would work out of state and fly home on the weekends. And so of course we were closer to my mom. And so my dad would fly home, and he’s like. So me and my mom are really close, through high school we had fights about going out and stuff like that, but still very close—like to this day. Our relationship has only gotten better and closer as the years have gone on.

My dad, just because of the type of person that he is, he’s very business and education, just kind of that way, so our relationship growing up was on the weekends I’d see him and it was good. But then in high school when he came back to Atlanta when I was 17 in my senior year of high school he came back and he just started kind of having all these orders and everything like that so of course at that age I was like “Uh, I don’t want to do anything you’re saying” just like you

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know “Well why are you watching TV when you should be doing homework?” And I at that point would have finished my homework and studying and he just didn’t see the point in watching TV. And everything was just really like business. And so our relationship I guess from there is just more of the same, anytime we talk it’s just like school or money or business. I mean it’s the best I could hope it to be at this point in time.

INTERVIEWER: Tell me about your relationship with your grandparents and if you knew them, didn’t know them.

Johnson: Mhmm. My paternal grandparents, I never met my dad’s dad. I think he died awhile ago. I met my paternal grandmother, she was, she lived with us actually when I was maybe 3 or 4. I don’t really remember her living with us, but I was told. Her and my mother I don’t’ think really got along very well. And then the only other time I remember seeing her was when I was a lot older, maybe 10 or 11, and she was actually in the hospital. She had had a stroke and we had actually gone to see her. And she couldn’t really speak, but I can only go on what my mother told me and I don’t necessarily think she was fond of me and my sister.

My maternal grandfather, he was great. I don’t’ remember a lot about him, but from what my mom said about him and the little I remember, I remember we went to visit him in Bermuda when I was really young. I actually just saw the pictures from that the other day. But um he also passed when I was really young. All I know for grandparents was my maternal grandmother, she’s still around to this day, and we’ve grown up with her. She’s been around forever, she’s at every function for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and right now she basically lives with my mom. She’ll be at my Uncle’s house, that’s where she lives, but she’ll be with my mom most of the time. And so I see her a lot. And so that’s nice. And she’s just, she’s old school. And do kind of like, you know, you need to learn how to cook, you need to learn how to clean, so she’s not really in this new era or anything like that, but you know, definitely love her.

INTERVIEWER: So besides how to be a good housewife, what says did the elders in your family, like your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles repeat to you or seek to impress upon you most?

Johnson: Well as far as my parents and aunts and uncles education is the biggest thing with my family. So, everyone, that’s like the be-all-end-all. Everyone has to be educated, that’s like the competition. Not like an “against” competition, but like me and my cousins, we’d all be like “Oh we’re going to be doctors or lawyers or whatever, the best in whatever.” And so of course like my cousin, he’s at Georgetown med now, and my sister’s about to finish her Master’s and like it’s just like everyone’s vying to do better and better education-wise. And so that’s the biggest point of pride and everything like that in my family. And of course at the same time I guess education’s the biggest and like being Christian. Like following in your Christian values and everything like that. I guess like being a virgin [laugh] and like, really being in to stuff like that is big.

INTERVIEWER: So when you think about your family and your roots or your heritage, what thoughts or feelings come to your mind? And do you have any stories that can illustrate those feelings?

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Johnson: I mean I love being Guyanese. The food’s great. Growing up and just sort of getting a different experience, just sort of having another culture other than your American culture it feels like you’re part of this different group. Growing up I didn’t really know my parents had an accent, and everyone used to always say, “Oh my gosh, you have such a beautiful accent, when are you from?” And I’m like What are they talking about? Like I could just not hear it. And just like the sayings, the stories that they would tell us about growing up in a small house, and they used to pick mangos out of a tree, just like all their different childhood experiences. And now that I’m older, I didn’t have similar experiences, but I actually got to go to Guyana, after my freshman year in college, and just like getting to eat the food there, see where they grew up, how they grew up, it’s a big part of my life. I want it to stay that way. And just like the culture. Every year there’s a Guyana fun day in Atlanta, and so it’s around Memorial day, and so people from around the country, mostly from New York, that are Guyanese, they’ll come down to Atlanta and there’s a big parade, they’ll have all the food, and they’ll have the Maypole, which is just like girls that go around, and they’ll have a soccer game. And it’s just like even if you’re not Guyanese a lot of West Indians come to it, from like Trinidad and Barbados, and just having that common bond with a different group of people other than your American culture is really special and interesting and is not something that I want to lose necessarily when I get married. I want my kids to know about it.

INTERVIEWER: I’ll sort of ask you more about that later, I guess. But um thinking about your parents immigration, when did they move-they moved before they were married, you said? But they were together at the time?

Johnson: Yea.

INTERVIEWER: So do you know the story of why they moved? What prompted them to want or to need to come to America?

Johnson: If you’re not going to live in Guyana for the rest of your life that’s where you’re going to want to go. So a lot of people in Guyana I think earlier, when they still had ties to Britain, they would go there, but ever since their independence everyone would come to America instead because that’s where the opportunities were. And I mean the education system in Guyana it used to be great, wonderful, but of course it’s gone significantly downward since, you know… And so because a lot of people were educated they wanted to go somewhere I guess where they could be challenged, get a better job and existence for their family. And so I guess that’s what prompted them. That’s where the opportunities were, that’s what everyone talked about. “Oh, I know so-and-so in America” and “Oh, I’m going to go visit” and so “They’re going to send for me” is kind of the thing. When my dad finished everything he was doing in Guyana like degree-wise, it was just time to go find his niche in America and then bring my mom along.

INTERVIEWER: So do you think it was sort of expected of him since he was doing well in school?

Johnson: Mhmm. I mean it’s expected if you want something better, if you don’t just want to live in Guyana for the rest of your life. There’s opportunity in America, that’s where people go. Not a

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lot of people go to other West Indian countries. You wouldn’t leave Guyana to go to Trinidad and Tobago. You’re going to want to go somewhere I guess where you can have that higher level of success.

INTERVIEWER: Do you know why they chose to-they moved to DC first?

Johnson: Mhmm. They had other family members in the area, so that’s what’s comfortable, you get your start and stuff like that. But I’m not 100% sure. After we were, they were there for awhile, and then I know like 2 months after I was born we moved to Kingsport, TN. And then while living in Kingsport TN for a few years we had taken trips to Atlanta and we always liked it, a lot, and so that was the place we wanted to move to next.

[29:13]

INTERVIEWER: So you talked about your family telling stories about picking mangos from a tree, are there any other stories that your parents talked about from Guyana that stick out in your head?

Johnson: Just the differences in the school systems. They always talk about that because um there you were allowed to get beaten in school. And so they talk about their teachers having long yard sticks, like wood, and basically everyone in the class would stand up and you’d have to go through your time tables. And if you got it right you could sit down. And if you got it wrong you stayed standing. And so at the end everyone that was still standing they’d go around with a stick and like beat them with it or whatever.

INTERVIEWER: Wow.

Johnson: And so my mom was like you know of course I’ll never forget this that or the other because you know if I didn’t I knew I was going to get hit. I mean that was one of the more crazy stories [laughter]. But just like running around, and they’d used to play with the cows, I don’t know. My dad talks about how he used to walk this long road that we actually got to drive when we were there. He walked this long road like every single day and he would sell fruit before he went to school. And we actually saw the house that my parents-my mom-grew up in. And there were 8 of them, and her dad and mom, and so 10 of them in this 2 bedroom house like literally a shotgun like you could see straight through it if you opened the front and back door. It’s just crazy to have that different perspective when you—it’s like 8 or 10 people in a 2 bedroom house, it’s just crazy.

INTERVIEWER: And so you mentioned food was one of your favorite parts of being Guyanese. Growing up did your parents make food often, did people try and teach you how to cook?

Johnson: And so I guess if it’s 7 days in a week, if my mom cooked, I guess 4 or 5 days would be Guyanese food. And then of course we’d have spaghetti and meatballs or stuff like that. But yea there’s just so many different kinds of foods and it’s just so ingrained, it’s just like that’s what she cooks. And so I mean even Thanksgiving, we’ll still have a turkey, but a lot of the other dishes are going to be like Guyanese foods, like Roti and Curry, Sal fish and Bake. Every

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Christmas, every Thanksgiving, we always have Pepper Pot and Garlic Pork. They’re Guyanese foods, and just like every single holiday, without fail, and just different experiences. Like my favorite food is White Pudding. And curry crab, it’s just there’s so many different foods that have been cooked and that I’ve eaten all my life. It’s just second nature to me.

As far as me learning to cook it [laughter] I guess I really want to learn, and I need to at some point, but I just like, my mom would cook, and I just got to high school age it was school and everything else, I wasn’t trying to learn. And so off to college I went without trying to learn how to make it. I mean because over the holidays my aunts would all get together and they’d be the ones cooking, and cousins and kids or whatever we’d be playing or talking to each other so I mean but that’s one thing that my grandmother was like “She doesn’t know how to cook! How’s she going to get a husband?” To her, it was very important that I learn still. And I mean I want to. I’m trying to think of some summer that I’m not going to be busy, which isn’t going to be many, but I need to start learning, or getting my mom to write down a cook book because I want to be able to cook those foods for my kids. That’s part of them learning the culture. I think it’s important for them to enjoy or experience the food.

INTERVIEWER: So do you remember music being played in your house at holiday celebrations, family functions, or just day to day?

Johnson: Mhmm. Growing up we only listened to Christian music or Reggae/Calypso/Soca, so that was pretty much what we listened to. It was a lot of music from the islands. We got really in to that at a young age. More so just hearing the difference. I’m not really sure of all of the names of the artists, but just a lot of that music I don’t’ know the names of but I can recognize a lot of that music now still.

INTERVIEWER: Who were your favorite artists when you were in high school?

Johnson: There’s the side of me like “Ok, I love Reggae,” but I was still in to hip-hop, pop, rock, pretty much every genre. Ohh who did I like? I don’t even know if I could name people. Ja Rule, he was my favorite, Ashanti, I guess Destiny’s Child, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Backstreet Boys, all of those were like my entire childhood, it was great. Everything. I listened to everything. Especially at the gym they always at the radio on, so every new song, I knew it.

INTERVIEWER: Thinking about what clothes you wore and stuff like that, would you consider yourself in middle school and high school to have been fashionable?

Johnson: Yea. My mom liked shopping a lot, so we would go like twice a week. And not every time I’d get something but if she’d get something I’d get a shirt or I’d get jeans so that was a big part of it. In high school I tried I went like 3 months without repeating, I just had all these different clothes. I just, whatever I liked, but I definitely tried to keep up with the trends. So I bought like when capris were in I bought those, and when skirts and tights starting coming in at the end of high school I bought that, so yea.

[35:42]

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INTERVIEWER: Thinking back do you remember trying to convey any type of message about yourself through your clothes, make-up, accessories, how you wore your hair?

Johnson: Mmm.. not really. I just, I guess I picked clothes I liked and they happened to be in line with the fashion trends of the time. And of course like the fashion trends would influence what I would pick when I went to the stores, but it wasn’t really like a message per say.

INTERVIEWER: So as a teenager in middle school and high school, how did you define your identity?

Johnson: I guess, in middle school more just an athlete, a gymnast. And I guess all that went with that. It was a culture within itself, so that was a lot of my identity. And then, when I quit when I was 14 I didn’t really I just went through a phase of not really having one. Cause I wasn’t in school yet, and so I but I still wasn’t going to the gym, so I guess when I went to high school I kind of re-defined myself I guess as still an athlete, because being a part of the track team was a big part of my life. Just kind of athletics and then school—so being in honors and AP classes.

INTERVIEWER: So thinking about how you saw yourself, how other people saw you, would you say you got to determine what your identity was or is it something that other people—your parents, peers, people that you come in contact with—decided for you?

Johnson: I’d say I was relatively independent, but at the same time I wasn’t choosing an identity that was far out or in any way extremely different, so I wouldn’t say that my parents wouldn’t try to mold me against something else, they probably didn’t have a problem about who I was.

INTERVIEWER: So did your definition of yourself change from middle to high school as you got older, besides the cheerleader—or the gymnast--?

Johnson: Not really, not in middle school and high school. Middle school and high school were very similar. Maybe if we’re talking about college, yea. [Laughter].

INTERVIEWER: Did you, when you were in settings, like what you were doing was different or where you were, did it change sort of how you felt about who you are, who you were?

Johnson: Different settings as in…

INTERVIEWER: Yea like at church, in the gym, at school… Or like with your family.

Johnson: Um…I mean, I pretty much. I mean around friends, in the gym or whatever, I was more, I guess more open, than if I was interacting with my parents. But I feel like that’s typical for pretty much everybody. Other than that no big changes.

INTERVIEWER: Did your mom or your grandma ever talk to you about how they identified or how they identify now? And did this impact how you saw yourself?

Johnson: How they identify as just…

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 13

INTERVIEWER: Like as, like as a woman, as an educator, as an immigrant, as a black woman…

Johnson: Mmkay. I guess as far as race goes I mean [pause] I mean they didn’t really like sit there and define or what how they felt about how “I’m this or I’m that,” just more of what I should be, what I should aspire to. And that was more of you need to aspire to be educated, you need to aspire to be well put together, and be just a proper—dressed properly and conduct yourself in a proper manner, as opposed to I am this and you need to be that.

I hope I answered that for you… [Laughter]

INTERVIEWER: Yea! [Laughter]. That’s good. So how do you think other people saw you, with regards to people that you went to school with or people at the gym and stuff? Would you say you tried to communicate parts of your identity that we’re obvious to other people?

Johnson: I guess other people saw me as a goody-goody, so that would be like the main thing. I guess in high school or even in middle school. Because when I was in the gym like I did what the coaches said, and I was very good at what I did. So they were like oh, you’re a robot, you’re perfect or whatever, and I guess when I got to school, when it came to school work I was very serious and focused. So it was like oh you know, teacher’s pet kind of thing, but, I mean, I didn’t, I mean as far as me portraying myself I wanted to like at the same time even if I was that I’d still be someone that people would like tell their secrets to and be cool with and have fun around, I wasn’t like, I definitely never wanted to be like a judgmental person.

[41:15]

INTERVIEWER: Do you think that changed at all if you were talking to other African American kids or other white kids, like if that changed how you portrayed yourself at all?

Johnson: How I portrayed myself to like a white person versus a black person?

INTERVIEWER: Yea, like kids at the gym or kids at school and stuff.

Johnson: Um, well, growing up I grew up around mostly white people, so I didn’t really I didn’t have like an on or off switch. I think the first time I realized there’s a difference was maybe when I was in like 8th grade and, well maybe like 7th or 8th grade, and there were a group of black girls that used to hang out with each other. And I was friends with like a few of them, but then I started becoming really close to them. And so that’s when I think I realized there was a difference in like I guess interaction or like they would say some things that like “Oh…” I don’t know, just more racial things. And I think I realized like “Oh, I guess there is a difference.” And so, from there, I guess there would be more of a difference in how I perceived things as different. I mean, up until that point it was like white-black, the interaction was completely the same. I guess now in high school more so it was just portraying like…because there were other I guess black kids that acted in a certain manner, and I didn’t agree with that or I didn’t agree with that portrayal I guess some of them would be like loud, or they’d just be like combative or stuff like

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 14

that, I tried to kind of go the entire other way so that I’d be like completely separate from that. But I mean that wasn’t difficult seeing as though I was in AP and honors classes which was with a lot of less black people, so I mean, there wasn’t really much of a change.

INTERVIEWER: How would you characterize the connection you feel to other West Indians?

Johnson: Well, when you meet one, I mean they’re not like, they’re few and far between--ones that I’ve met that are my age. But like when you meet them and you just, immediately start exchanging like “What do you know? What do you know?” about it and like of course everyone will fake the accent, and then, other people like will just like say “Oh do you eat this?” and “What’s your favorite this?” And just the fact that they know what you’re talking about, and it’s just I mean... it’s fun. But I mean I don’t really meet a lot of people that are my age that are West Indian. Well I mean I haven’t met like a lot a lot. I’m pretty sure there are a lot more in New York and stuff like that.

INTERVIEWER: Have you ever joined a cultural or ethnic organization?

Johnson: I was in the Caribbean Student Association at Vandy, but that kind of fizzled. I just had other things I needed to do, and so, because that was more of a social thing, and I had other things that I wanted to do that were more pertinent to my resume and it just kind of let that slide. From the things that, like, I went to their parties and I went to events and stuff like that, I got to eat the food, and so that was nice.

INTERVIEWER: Do you think that white people changed how they thought of you if they found out you were from the West Indies?

Johnson: [Sigh]. Umm, I don’t think so, really. I mean, I think that at a certain point, being foreign and being black, it just kind of makes them curious, and in sometimes it’s in a positive way, and if they’ve had a negative experience it’d be in a negative way. I know that like a lot of, like I have friends that are African, and they view themselves sometimes as better than black Americans, and it’s the same way in the West Indies, but I would say that more Africans are doing higher education and stuff like that to where you would say that could be backed up. Whereas, as of late, as far as the West Indian community, at first education was really big, and that was the center focus, but because it’s deteriorated so much, there’re less West Indians coming here and actually doing the higher education.

INTERVIEWER: What about when native black Americans would find out from the West Indies?

Johnson: I guess that’s more of a mixed—I mean, they’re also curious, but then, some might have negative opinions based on interactions with other West Indians that say that they feel like they’re better than blacks, but from my experience it’s just like “Oh, that’s different,” and then they’ll be like “Oh, well do you do this?” and “Do you do that?” and you have to answer questions. It hasn’t been anything negative, that I’ve experienced.

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 15

INTERVIEWER: Would that, knowing that there might be some difference, slightly difference, did that change presented yourself at all?

Johnson: Huh-uh [No.]. I mean, if somebody asked me—but I mean it doesn’t really come up because people just assume “Oh, you’re black.” They don’t really “Oh, there’s something else about you.” But if somebody were to ask like, “Oh, you know, where are your parents from?” Then I say “Oh you know they’re from South America, from Guyana.” And they’re like “Oh” and some people know like what it is, and they’re interested, and other people are like “Oh, what’s that?” and you kind of go further and explain it.

INTERVIEWER: So I’m going to ask you a little bit about like cross-cultural interactions. So, growing up, what were your parents’ perceptions, that you kind of had an impression of your parents’ perceptions of other groups of people, particularly African Americans?

Johnson: Mmm [Laughter]. I think that, because of the way my parents grew up, and the focuses in their life, like academic and stuff like that, coming to America and seeing how not only how African Americans are portrayed but just kind of some of the things that they saw, they were kind of like displeased. So, it’s like that separation. If they get around other Guyanese people there’s a separation. Like oh, ok, “Us versus black Americans.” Because, I mean, just there are some differences that they saw, like from their culture, things that were acceptable versus things that were acceptable in the black community.

INTERVIEWER: So, did they ever go out of their way to communicate their ideas to you or was it something that you sort of perceived?

Johnson: Maybe just like a few comments here and there. Like, “Those black Americans…” something something but it was never you should dislike them or you should see yourself as above them. Never anything like that, nothing like that. Just, I mean, it was a lot of open, you make your own interpretations based upon what you see. And, you know, it was basically your opinion versus ours and we’ll hash it out.

INTERVIEWER: Do you remember ever seeing fights or rude words exchanged based on someone being West Indian or African American? Or any other just tension either personally or that you saw or heard about?

Johnson: Between West Indians and African Americans?

INTERVIEWER: Uh huh [Yes.]

Johnson: Maybe. I can’t really think of one distinct interaction, but maybe just, I guess an accent, hearing an accent, and then making a comment, a snide remark about that. That would be the only thing I could think of really.

INTERVIEWER: So thinking back to what you learned about in middle school and high school, did you learn about the Civil Rights Movement in America? And how did your parents and other people in your family talk about the Civil Rights Movement, if ever?

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 16

Johnson: We learned about it in an academic setting, but as far as my family making it person it wasn’t really. Because, I mean, they weren’t from here. So they didn’t really identify with it. To say like, some of my friends would say, “Oh, my great-grandmother or my great-grandfather was this and this in the movement.” And I was just like “Ah, no.”

INTERVIEWER: So when you first learned, academically, about Jim Crow laws, or segregation, and the Civil Rights Movement, do you remember how you felt?

Johnson: I mean, I think it’s just, it’s upsetting. But it’s something that happened, it’s like I guess I would be more concerned with what’s happening now and like if you talk about that was back then, but if you see examples of that right now, that would be more upsetting to me than thinking back. Because I mean there isn’t really much that can be done about the past, but as far as how far we’ve come from there it’s nice to see but when you see splotches of us, like that’s an example that’s so similar to back then, it’s just, that’s more upsetting.

INTERVIEWER: Would you describe any parts of your childhood as racially or ethnically homogenous, as in your neighborhood, your school, your church, or a social club that you were a part of?

Johnson: Mhmm [yes.] Probably until like high school, I was around all white people. So when we were in Kingsport TN it was a very, it’s like East TN, so it’s very, we were the only black people in our church. And, we were probably the only black people in our home school group for a really long time until there was one other family. But, and then, in gymnastics there’s majority of more white than blacks, so I mean, pretty much until I was in 9th grade I hung out with, I was only around white people. But I mean, moving I guess into high school I got a more mixed group of friends.

INTERVIEWER: Can you tell me about any experiences you had that you felt discriminated against or witnessed a friend or family member being discriminated against?

Johnson: Mmm [pause.] Uhh I mean, I, I don’t really have a personal story that I feel like that is sufficient. I mean I don’t really feel like I’ve ever really been discriminated against, I’m sure it has happened. I remember at one gymnastics they thought my score was lower than it should have been, and that kind of got brought up, and I just was more confused, I didn’t really know what to think of it as far as anything. I wasn’t really outraged or anything I just didn’t really know. I was confused.

INTERVIEWER: How would you describe the degree to which you expect to be discriminated against in the future?

Johnson: I mean, I know it’s like, it’s always there, there’s always the possibility for discrimination, I try not to live in a way that I’ll expect it and I’m looking for it. Because I feel like if you look for it then you can pretty much make anything into something discriminatory, but I’m pretty sure that at some point, if it hasn’t happened up until now, that, when I get a job,

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 17

or when I go somewhere, that it’s going to happen. And that will be my first “A-hah, that’s what it feels like.” But I mean I feel like it’s bound to happen just out of luck or chance.

INTERVIEWER: Do you remember the English-Only ordinance some groups of people tried to pass in Nashville in 2008?

Johnson: Um, yea, that was when they didn’t want Spanish being spoken?

INTERVIEWER: Yea, or like any—

Johnson: Any other language?

INTERVIEWER: Yea. Did that change or bring to your mind at all how you thought people in Nashville felt about immigrants?

Johnson: Um, I wasn’t, I heard about it, I wasn’t really involved. I remember my sister and her friend had a heated debate about it because my sister is really in to the Latin American community and she’s taken Spanish, she’s gone abroad. And, because recently I went to Costa Rica and this summer I’m going to Guatemala, now I’m really into the Latin American community so I guess now I can say I don’t think that’s right. I’m not on any really end of the spectrum. I’m not for how in Texas where you might go somewhere where they only speak Spanish and they might look at you kind of funny if you’re speaking English, but I’m also not really for completely wiping out every other language. I mean the basis or the foundation of this country is built on immigrants, so I don’t think we should try to wipe that out by any means. I just felt like when people had such strong opinions about it just brought about a sense or a feel of that deep-seated discrimination and racism, and I just, I don’t agree with that.

INTERVIEWER: Where would you say you feel the most at home, the strongest sense of belonging? Do you remember where you felt most at home thinking back to middle school and high school?

Johnson: In middle school and high school, in Georgia, in Snellville. Because we started living in our house when I was 7 years old, I believe, so Snellville’s basically been our home since then. And it was smaller when we got there, and now it’s gotten a lot bigger, and a lot more people have moved in. But that’s pretty much always been home to me.

INTERVIEWER: In high school, what were your dreams for the future? Were they the same as your family’s dreams for your future, and was there a particular family member or relative that always had dreams for you?

Johnson: Yea. Well, my mom wanted me to go to the Olympics for gymnastics. That was her big dream for me. So when I quit she kind of freaked out and it was really bad. I, I mean after that, it’s always been “Be a doctor, you need to be a doctor.” And so I did, I wanted to be an anesthesiologist but then after the end of high school and coming to college that’s when I changed and I was like “I like psychology, and that’s the field I’m going in to.” As long as what

Interview with Lauren Johnson Pasquariello 18

I’m doing has an academic focus and I mean it’s higher education, leading to a great job, I think that any goals or aspirations I have now are in line with what my parents or family want for me.

INTERVIEWER: And I guess, just for the record, because I know, but so you are a senior at Vanderbilt and you’re majoring in psychology?

Johnson: Mhmm. In psychology, sociology, and philosophy.

INTERVIEWER: Ok. And do you remember thinking about why you chose to come to Vanderbilt?

Johnson: My sister came here. And so I had a lot of experience coming to Nashville, hanging out with her. And then I did Mosaic and so those experiences were amazing, so I knew that Vanderbilt was the place for me.

INTERVIEWER: So this is the last question. What, in your mind, are the two things you’ve done in your life that you’re most proud of?

Johnson: Hmm. [Laughter]. I think becoming an elite gymnast would be one. And then I guess academic-wise. So getting in to Vanderbilt, and now for the fall I’m going to Harvard, so that would I guess up until now those would be the two biggest.

INTERVIEWER: Is there any other information you want to include that we’ve not yet touched upon?

Johnson: Not really. I guess to distinguish a lot of people, the biggest confusion they have with Guyana I’ll say “Oh, do you know where Guyana is?” And they’ll say, “Yea! In Africa!” and I’m like “No, that’s Ghana. Guyana is in South America, not Africa.” And then also when they hear South America they’re like “Oh, you speak Spanish?” And I’m like “No, not yet.” The main language in Guyana is English. So even though it’s in South America the culture is West Indian. Just for clarification. [Laughter].

INTERVIEWER: Well thank you again for participating, and you can definitely contact me if you have any questions or if you wish to add to your contribution.

Johnson: Ok, no problem.

[End of Audio]

Duration: 57:51 Minutes