Newbuscom_2 - Clarity

7/31/2019 Newbuscom_2 - Clarity

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Session 2

Clarity



Session 2

Written: Clarity

Oral:

Class Elections



The ABCD of Effective Writing

Accuracy

Correct

Complete Brevity

Concise

Clarity

Clear

Coherent Consistent

Concrete

Dignity Courteous

Considerate



Correctness

Grammar

Spelling

Punctuation Format

Facts and Figures



Clarity

Clarity is saying what you actually intend to say,and doing it in such a way that your readerunderstands you.

Clarity is achieved when words are chosencarefully, not only from the point of diction, butfrom the point of correctness.



How do you achieve clarity?

Word Choice

Sentence Structure

Use of active vs. passive voice Parallelism

Transitional words



Word Choice



Preferring Clear and FamiliarWords

Strength of a Single Syllable: When you speak andwrite, no law says you have to use big words.

Eleven words account for 25% of all spoken

English and all are monosyllabic I, you, the, a, to, is, it, that, of, and in



Omit superfluous words

Words are superfluous when they can bereplaced with fewer words that mean thesame thing. Sometimes you can use asimpler word for these phrases:



Superfluous vs. Simpler Words

Superfluous

in order to

in the event that subsequent to

prior to

despite the fact that

because of the fact thatin light of because,since

Simpler

to

if after

before

although

because, since



Avoid clichés

Clichés are problematic because theiroveruse has diminished their impact andbecause they require several words where

just one would do.

Agree to disagree

Dead as a doornail

Up in the air Last but not the least



Strategies for successful wordchoice

Be careful when using words you areunfamiliar with. Look at how they are used incontext and check their dictionary definitions.

Be careful when using the thesaurus. Eachword listed as a synonym for the word you'relooking up may have its own unique

connotations or shades of meaning.




Don’t try to impress your reader or sound

unduly authoritative. For example, whichsentence is clearer to you: "a" or "b”?

Under the present conditions of our society,marriage practices generally demonstrate a highdegree of homogeneity.

In our culture, people tend to marry others whoare like themselves. (Longman, p. 452)




Read your paper out loud and at… a…

slow… pace. When read out loud, your

written words should make sense to both you

and other listeners.



SentenceStructure



Sentence Clarity

Why do we need to beconcerned with sentence clarity?

To communicate effectively tothe reader

To make writing persuasive

To show credibility andauthority as a writer



Common clarity problems

Misplaced modifiers

Dangling modifiers

Passive voice



Misplaced Modifiers

a word or phrase thatcauses confusion

because it is locatedwithin a sentence sofar away from theword(s) to which it

refers



Misplaced Modifiers

Consider the differentmeanings in the

following sentences:

The dog under thetree bit Carrie.

vs.

The dog bit Carrieunder the tree.



Misplaced Modifiers

Sometimes misplacedmodifiers are used for

comic effect:

The other day I shotan elephant in my

pajamas. How he gotin my pajamas I'llnever know.

-- Groucho Marx



How might you correct thefollowing sentence?

Jennifer called her adorablekitten opening the can of

tuna and filled the foodbowl.

Better: Opening the can of

tuna, Jennifer called heradorable kitten and filledthe food bowl.




Portia rushed to the store

loaded with cash to buy thebirthday gift.

Better: Portia, loaded with

cash, rushed to the store tobuy the birthday gift.



Misplaced Modifiers

Some one-word modifiers often cause

confusion:

almost just nearly simply

even hardly merely only



Explain the meaning of eachsentence:

Almost everyone in theclass passed the calculusexam.

Everyone in the classalmost passed thecalculus exam.

Which sentence indicatesthat everyone in the classfailed the exam?



Explain the meaning of eachsentence:

John nearly earned $100.

John earned nearly $100.

Which sentence indicates thatJohn earned some money?



Dangling modifiers

a word or phrase that modifiesanother word or phrase that hasnot been stated clearly within thesentence

often occur at the beginnings and endsof sentences

often indicated by an -ing verb or a to +

verb phrase



Dangling modifiers

Having finished dinner, the

football game was turned on.

Having finished dinner, Joe

turned on the football game.



Dangling modifiers can berepaired by:

placing the subject of the modification phraseas the subject of the independent clause:

Having finished dinner, Joe turnedon the football game.

placing the subject of the action within the

dangling phrase:

After Joe finished dinner, he turnedon the football game.




Playing solitaire on the computer forthree hours, Michael’s paper was not

completed.

Better: Playing solitaire on thecomputer for three hours, Michael

did not complete his paper.

Better: Because Michael playedsolitaire on the computer for threehours, he did not complete his paper.

How might you correct the




Locked away in the old chest,Richard was surprised by the antiquehats.

Better: Locked away in theold chest, the antique hatssurprised Richard.

Better: The antique hatslocked away in the old chestsurprised Richard.




To work as a loan officer, aneducation in financial planningis required.

Better: To work as a loan

officer, one is required tohave an education infinancial planning.




Being a process that still needs to berefined, scientists are searching for amore effective plan for chemotherapytreatment.

Better: Scientists are

searching for a more effectiveplan for chemotherapytreatment, a process that stillneeds to be refined.



Exercise in Misplaced andDangling Modifiers

1. The announcer reported that the singer wasgetting married on the six o'clock news.

2. As a child, my mother took me to the Manila

Zoo to see my favorite animal, the Indianelephant.

3. To wash the car, soap and water is needed.

4. He barely kicked that ball twenty yards.5. Randy has nearly annoyed every professor

he has had.



The Effective Sentence

Vary the beginnings of your sentence

Vary the kinds of sentences

Vary the length of your sentences Very sentence construction

Variety in sentence beginning

Variety by sentence combinations

Variety of complication



Sentence Combining

Why should we know about sentencecombining?

To build clarity To avoid wordiness

To avoid redundancy

Keys to sentence combining: Create adjectives

Create properly placed modifying clauses

Eliminate unnecessary or repetitive phrases



Consider the followingparagraph:

The boy struggled to ride his bike. Theboy is four years old and he is feisty. Thebike is new and it is a light blue color.

The boy received the bike for his birthday.He struggled for two hours. However, hewas unsuccessful in riding the bike.



Sentence Combining

The boy struggled to ride his bike. The boy isfour years old and he is feisty. The bike isnew and it is a light blue color. The boyreceived the bike for his birthday. Hestruggled for two hours. However, he wasunsuccessful in riding the bike.

The feisty four-year-old boy struggledunsuccessfully for two hours to ride hisnew light blue birthday bike.



Sentence Combining

The animal trainer dove into the pool. Thetrainer was skilled and athletic. She wasexcited when she dove into the pool. She

swam with two dolphins. The dolphinswere babies. The dolphins were playful.The trainer swam with the dolphins forover an hour. When the trainer swam with

the dolphins, she was happy.



Sentence Combining

The animal trainer dove into the pool. The trainer was skilled andathletic. She was excited when she dove into the pool. She swam withtwo dolphins. The dolphins were babies. The dolphins were playful.The trainer swam with the dolphins for over an hour. When the trainerswam with the dolphins, she was happy.

• The skilled, athletic animal trainerexcitedly dove into the pool andhappily swam for over an hour with

two playful baby dolphins.

Sh i Eff i S



Shaping Effective Sentencesand Paragraphs

Use everyday, conversational words

Keep most sentences short andsimple

Prefer active voice verbs, avoid

passives



Avoid long, obscure sentences

Hard to read

Hard to write

Risk grammatical errors

Bury some ideas

Avoid too many ideas in one paragraph

Shaping Effective Sentencesand Paragraphs



Use of active vs. passivevoice



Active Voice

The subject and verb relationship is

straightforward: the subject is a be-er ora do-er and the verb moves the sentencealong.

The executive

committee approvedthe new policy.



Passive Voice

The subject of the sentence is neither a do-er or abe-er, but is acted upon by some other agent or bysomething unnamed

The new policy was

approved by theexecutive committee.

U th A ti V i ith



Use the Active Voice withStrong Verbs

One of the quickest ways to ensure clarity isto use the active voice with strong verbs.

Strong verbs are guaranteed to liven up andtighten any sentence, virtually causinginformation to spring from the page.



Use Active Voice

To be more

Specific Personal

Concise

Emphatic

The board has decided to

increase this year’sbonus.

A decision was made toincrease this year’s

bonus.



Use Passive Voice

When you want to stress the object of theaction

When the doer is not important in thesentence

When you want to avoid personal, bluntaccusations or commands

When it is required to maintain a parallelstructure



Passive Voice

indicates what is receiving the actionrather than explaining who is doing the

action two indicators

"to be" verbs—is, are, was, were

"by ________”



Examples of Passive Voice

Mistakes were made.

The cats were brushed by Laura.



Passive vs. Active Voice

There is nothing inherently wrong with thepassive voice, but if you can say the samething in the active mode, do so.

The worst offense of the passive voice iswhen business interests, governmentagencies, or the military (who must get weary

of this accusation) use the passive voice toavoid responsibility for actions taken.



Passive vs. Active Voice

Thus "Cigarette ads were designed to appealespecially to children" places the burden onthe ads — as opposed to "We designed the

cigarette ads to appeal especially tochildren," in which "we" accepts responsibility

How might you improve the



How might you improve thefollowing sentence?

The decision that was reachedby the committee was topostpone the vote.

Better: The committee

reached the decision topostpone the vote.

Best: The committee decided

to postpone the vote.

How might you correct the




The disk drive of the computerwas damaged by the electricalsurge.

Better: The electrical surgedamaged the disk drive ofthe computer.

Best: The electrical surgedamaged the computer'sdisk drive.



Parallelism



Parallel Construction

Formerly, science was taught by thetextbook method, while now the

laboratory method is employed.

Formerly, science was taughtby the textbook method; now itis taught by the laboratorymethod.



Keep Your Sentence Parallel

Parallelism reinforces grammatically equalelements, contributes to ease in reading, andprovides clarity and rhythm.

If you want to buy shares in Fund X by mail, fillout and sign the Account Application form,making your check payable to “The X Fund,” and

put your social security or taxpayer identification

number on your check.



Improved Version

If you want to buy shares in Fund X by mail,fill out and sign the Account Application form,make your check payable to “The X Fund,”

and put your social security or taxpayeridentification number on your check.

Parallelism and Correlative



Parallelism and CorrelativeExpressions

Correlative expressions (both, and; not, but; notonly, but also; either, or; first, second, third;and the like) should be followed by the same

grammatical construction. Many violations ofthis rule can be corrected by rearranging thesentence.



It was both a long ceremony and verytedious.

The ceremony was both longand tedious.

My objections are first, the injustice of themeasure; second, that is itsunconstitutional.

My objections are, first, themeasure is unjust; second, that itis unconstitutional.



Parallelism Exercise

Raoul's motivation to succeed in this programseems to be greater than his sister.

Espinoza's style was remarkable for its

dexterity, grace, and she could play anyposition.

Either you will begin to study now or risk

failing the exam.



Transitional Words



Transitional Words

Using transitional words and phrases helpspapers read more smoothly

Transitions indicate relations, whether from

sentence to sentence, or from paragraph toparagraph.

Examples of Transitional



Examples of TransitionalWords

Addition: also, besides, furthermore, in addition, moreover, again

Consequence: accordingly, as a result, consequently, hence, otherwise, so

then, therefore, thus, thereupon

Summarizing: after all, all in all, all things considered, briefly, by and large,

in any case, in any event, in brief, in conclusion, on thewhole, in short, in summary, in the final analysis, in the longrun, on balance, to sum up, to summarize, finally





Generalizing:

as a rule, as usual, for the most part, generally, generallyspeaking, ordinarily, usually

Restatement: in essence, in other words, namely, that is, that is to say, in

short, in brief, to put it differently

Contrast and Comparison:

contrast, by the same token, conversely, instead, likewise,on one hand, on the other hand, on the contrary, rather,similarly, yet, but, however, still, nevertheless, in contrast





Sequence: at first, first of all, to begin with, in the first place,

at the same time, for now, for the time being, thenext step, in time, in turn, later on, meanwhile,next, then, soon, the meantime, later, while,earlier, simultaneously, afterward, in conclusion

Diversion:

by the way, incidentally Illustration: for example, for instance, for one thing





Similarity:

likewise, similar, moreover

Direction:

here, there, over there, beyond, nearly, opposite,under, above, to the left, to the right, in thedistance

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