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1.08 • newjerseylife&leisure • 3

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Volume 10 Number 1 is published bySmooth Stone Publishing

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features this month7 Selecting a ski resort

by AmAndA Knoles

8 cold weather vacation destinations by AmAndA Knoles

9 NYc salon style by steve seArs

9 NJ school can help you help others by steve seArs

10 choosing a spa & spa treatments by AmAndA Knoles

12 What’s new in outerwear by AmAndA Knoles

14 a change of clothes? by JessicA Wolf

16 Self-improvement by PAtience moore

18 What i did for love by christine loccKe

22 a winter escape by AmAndA Knoles

j a n u a r y 0 8

i n eve r y mon th

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Selecting a Ski Resort for a Great Winter Vacation

B Y a M a N d a K N O L e S

Choosing a ski resort is based on price and travel distance. However, if you’ve decided to take a winter vacation this year, you might want to choose a resort that offers different features than what you’re used to.

You will need to decide if you want to visit a ski resort within driving distance, or if you plan to fly to your destination. If you fly, you may need to rent a four-wheel drive vehicle upon arrival to reach the ski resort. (Some resorts offer shuttles or buses from nearby airports.)

Ski resorts have different seasons. The early season and spring season are the least expensive, while the holiday and regular season are more expensive. You will also want to consider the size of the ski resort. Some are so large they are like small cities, while others offer a more intimate and quiet atmosphere.

Before you start narrowing down your choices, think about who will be going with you, ski experience levels, and the availability of nearby recreation for non-skiers. If you will be traveling with children, check for children’s activities, day care and nursery facilities. Some resorts also offer activities for teenagers.

If you are a beginning skier, it’s a good idea to choose a resort that offers lessons and easily accessible beginner slopes. Don’t assume that mountain areas with the heaviest snowfall are the places you should automatically choose. Many beginners feel more comfortable skiing on groomed or packed powder, while intermediate and advanced skiers tend to like fresh powder, bowls, and non-groomed runs. The East Coast boasts lots of resorts with groomed runs and packed powder, while the West offers an abundance of ski areas with powder. The

upper Midwest has large hills with packed powder that are good choices for families.

If you are traveling with your family or a group of friends with varying levels of ski experience, it’s smart to seek out resorts that offer a variety of runs for beginners to intermediates. Steamboat Springs, Colorado, and Stowe, Vermont are good spots for beginners and intermediates. Those seeking more challenging runs might want to consider Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Snowbird, Utah, or Big Sky, Montana. Sugarloaf, Maine and Heavenly Valley at Lake Tahoe, California also offer challenging trails for intermediates with a few tougher runs for more advanced skiers.

If you plan to snowboard, it’s a good idea to check with the resorts you are considering and ask if snowboarding is restricted to certain areas or forbidden entirely. Some resorts also offer cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, sleigh rides, and sledding. If you’re planning a family ski trip or have several non-skiers in the group, it’s a good idea to have plenty of activities available to keep everyone happy.

You will also want to consider whether nightlife, a wide choice of restaurants, and shopping are important to you. Some resorts like Park City, Utah, and Aspen, Colorado offer a myriad of choices for dining, shopping, and entertainment, while other resorts may offer little to do once the lifts shut down.

If you live in a warm weather climate most of the year and your tolerance for cold isn’t too great, you might want to choose a resort in California or New Mexico or try spring skiing on the East Coast. Those who can brave the cold will be rewarded with fewer crowds in the Canadian Rockies, Montana, and

(continued on page 8)

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by Amanda Knoles

While some people prefer a winter vacation that involves lounging on a sunny beach, there are many hardy souls who like nothing better than playing in the snow. Frigid temperatures and icy winds don’t deter them from seeking out picture postcard views and outdoor adventures like skiing, snowboarding, and snowmobiling. Even if you aren’t a winter sports enthusiast, there are plenty of compelling reasons to visit cold weather vacation spots - sipping cocoa or brandy by a fireplace, ice skating on an outdoor rink, or snuggling with loved ones on a sleigh ride, to name a few.

New England offers locals and visitors plenty of opportunities to enjoy winter activities. Alpine ski areas range from luxury mountain resorts and trendy ski towns to family oriented ski areas. If you’re a beginner on the slopes you may find the smaller areas less intimidating and more economical. The bigger resorts offer lodging packages, longer runs, a variety of recreational activities and services like

spas, plus lively nightlife. Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine also maintain thousands of miles of interconnected snowmobiling trails. Additional winter activities include snow tubing, horse-drawn sleigh rides, ice skating and dog sledding.

Closer to home, New York City takes on a glow in late fall that gets everyone in a holiday frame of mind. Even before the first snowflakes fall on Central Park, the city gears up for the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, the opening of ice skating season at Rockefeller Center, and the spectacle of store windows decked out with lights, music and decorations. You can shop ‘til you drop at legendary stores like Tiffany’s and Bloomingdale’s or visit trendy boutiques in Greenwich Village and SoHo. Enjoy a show featuring the world famous Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall, or see the New York City Ballet perform “The Nutcracker” at Lincoln Center. Visit famous sights like the Empire State Building, enjoy a warm drink at a trendy bar, or take a carriage ride through Central Park. When people

think of winter wonderlands, Colorado invariably comes to mind. From its high ski slopes to miles of pristine backcountry trails, it’s a cold weather destination that offers something for everyone. Aspen, Vail, Telluride, and Steamboat Springs are some of the more popular vacation spots offering skiing, snowmobiling, dog sledding, sleigh rides, ice climbing, cross-country skiing and snowshoeing. You’ll also find plenty of luxurious spas, gourmet restaurants, and lively nightlife in the trendier resort towns.

Utah’s 13 downhill ski resorts rank with the best in the world. After hosting the Olympic Winter Games in 2002, the runs where some of the world’s top skiers train have become even more famous. Seven ski resorts are less than an hour’s drive from Salt Lake City and another three are located at nearby Park City. The ski season typically begins in late November and continues through April. Utah also offers more than 800 miles of groomed snowmobiling trails

Selecting a Ski Resort

Fun Cold Weather Vacation Destinations


Wyoming.

Keep in mind that the most popular ski areas are also going to be the most crowded. Ski resorts that are easily accessible from nearby cities tend to have long lift lines, and the cost of lodging can be very expensive. If you’re willing to travel further to reach your ski destination, you can count on shorter lines, unspoiled scenery, and less crowded slopes.

Although a ski vacation can be costly, there are ways to make it more affordable. Try to make reservations as far in advance of your trip as possible. Book your vacation at less popular times of year, and avoid holidays and weekends if possible. Lift ticket prices and hotel rooms are lowest at the very beginning and end of the season.

Some resorts offer condos for rent with kitchenettes. If you are traveling with your family or a large group, the extra cost for the kitchenette can be offset by the money you’ll save from cooking your own meals instead of eating out every night.

Keep in mind that hotels located closest to the ski runs will be the most expensive. On the other hand, if you have a room near the slopes you may be able to avoid renting a vehicle.

Contact tourism bureaus, airlines, and travel agencies for the availability of ski packages. Some resorts offer multi-day lift tickets that can save you $5 or more per day. Also check for discount coupons at sporting goods stores and ski shops. n

(continued from page 7)


d

Want a NYC Salon Style Experience? Visit Vamp Hair Studio

by Steve Sears

Danielle Cirilli wanted to work at a New York City style hair salon closer to her home in New Jersey. So, in August of 2006, she opened Vamp Hair Studio in Upper Montclair.

“A friend of a friend suggested the name. It means ‘sexy woman,’ and the photos on our website www.vamphairstudio.com, and our clients attest to that.”

Cirilli and her fine staff focus on top, creative service. An intimate and full service hair salon featuring cuts, styling, coloring, highlighting, and treatments for both women and men, Vamp uses the finest products (Bumble & Bumble, Goldwell and Redkin) and aims to create a “funky and hip vibe. We make sure,” claims Cirilli, “that the whole package (i.e. you, the client) looks good.”

Within Vamp Hair Studio’s four walls are very talented stylists. Cirilli, yes, but Danee, Leanne and Jackie, as well as stylists in training, assistants Matt and Christina, assure a client their visit will be an experience. And it is.

Cirilli’s resume is packed with credits galore. An Aveda Institute graduate and editorial hair stylist and makeup artist, she has done celebrity hair for Catherine Heigl and more, fashion models, and her work has appeared in Time Out New York, Glamour, Redbook , Playboy and Men’s Health. She has also been featured on NYC “Fashion Week” and the ABC Red Carpet Event NYC. Her credentials and those of her fellow Vamp stylists are available on the Vamp Hair Studio website.

Vamp also performs seasonal photos shoots with photographer Michael J. Curry www.michaeljcurry.com. Photos are available on both the Vamp Hair Studio and photographer’s websites.

“The difference here is service, style and precision,” claims Danielle Cirilli. “We are a New York City style salon. Hairstyling is an art and lifestyle, not a second job. Visit us and see the difference.” n

Vamp Hair Studio • 224 Lorraine Avenue • Montclair • (973) 744-3035 www.vamphairstudio.com

Hypnosis School of NJ Can Help You Help Othersby Steve Sears

Is it time to really quit smoking? How about lose weight and get in shape? Too stressed out and need a change? Hypnosis can help.

Perhaps you’d like to learn the practice of hypnosis yourself?

Kathy Lindert and Linda Matisak, both New Jersey Hypnocounselor’s and partners in the Hypnosis School of NJ at 194 Route 46 East in Fairfield, can teach you how hypnosis works. The school is approved by both the Department of Education and the Department of Labor for the State of New Jersey for continuing education credits.

And before you get intimidated, please know that it isn’t about crystal balls, or waving a watch in front of your eyes and having someone ask you, “You are now falling into a deep, deep sleep…”

Hypnosis is indeed a very strong tool to utilize, fix and release addictions and conflicts. The American Medical Association has approved the use of hypnosis since 1958.

“We have,” says Lindert, “the capability of changing behaviors. We do so with the client in a relaxed state, so the subconscious mind can change the behavior.”

“You must want to do it,” claims Matisak. “Stopping smoking, losing weight – anything. Belief is very important.”

Both Kathy Lindert and Linda Matisak are experienced practioners. Hypnosis School of NJ offers hands on training in a safe environment, and this includes a one year membership in the National Guild of Hypnotists. Also, graduates receive support in the form of email, telephone, blogging, as well as specialized programs and other materials to continue their growth in hypnosis.

Help yourself by helping others. Contact Hypnosis School of NJ today. n

Hypnosis School of NJ • 194 Route 46 East, Fairfield • (973) 402-6362 www.hypnosisschoolofnj.com

GoinG GreenWelcome to our

January 2008 issue. We’ve decided to try

something different with this issue. Normally our

issues are at least 48 pages. This month our print issue is 32 pages and our online issue is much

larger. We’re hoping that “Green Conscience” readers will subscribe to our online version and

help us do more to take care of the environment

in 2008. i

We already do the following:

We allow all our employees to work from

home, usually 4 days per week.

We have been using Solar Power for

three years.i

Our goal is to get 20,000 online subscribers,

to go with our 60,000 print readers.

This will allow us to print fewer pages and

save trees. Will you help?

Log onto www.NJLifeAndLeisure.com

and subscribe today. (it’s free and it’s Green!)


hether you’re a spa veteran or a newcomer; it’s a good idea to be choosy when it comes

to booking treatments. When selecting a day spa look over the menu of services and prices,

but also ask to take a tour. Are the changing and treatment rooms pleasant and clean? Is the staff

friendly or snobby? Talk to customers about why they like a particular spa over another.

Some spas are small and cozy with attentive staff, while others may be so large you feel like a number. Choose a spa where you feel comfortable with the atmosphere and quality of services. Ask if the spa is licensed by the state, how long it has been in business, and the policy on cancellations or arriving late. Look for an accreditation notice that indicates the spa is a member of a national or international association.

Keep in mind that spas at vacation resorts are more expensive than day spas in your own community, but they may offer more exotic treatments. If you plan to visit a destination spa, decide if you want an outdoor experience that involves hiking, rock climbing, etc., or if you are more into a serene, tropical getaway type resort.

Some destination spas have restricted calorie diets and Spartan room furnishings, while others rival the most luxurious hotels. Make sure you understand whether your stay is all-inclusive (covering your room and treatments) or if you must pay for the room and treatments separately.

If you’ve never visited a spa before, you might want to book a

half-day package that includes a facial and massage. Many spas offer package deals that cost less than if you book treatments separately. Some throw in a pedicure or hair styling free if you book a full-day package. The array of services can be confusing for first-timers. Here’s a brief rundown of typical spa services.

Swedish massage uses firm pressure to release muscle aches, ease tension, improve circulation and flexibility, and promote relaxation. A basic Swedish massage typically lasts 45-60 minutes.

Deep tissue and sports massages are available at some spas, along with Shiatsu, Thai or Ayurvedic massages. Generally, people booking these treatments are seeking health benefits and not just a pampering experience.

Hot stone therapy is a type of massage where the therapist applies light pressure to different areas of the body with heated stones.

Hydrotherapy involves water treatments such as mineral baths, underwater jet massage, waterfall showers, etc.

Aromatherapy uses fragrant essential oils to stimulate the senses and promote a sense of relaxation.

European facials include deep cleansing, steam, exfoliation and massage of the face, shoulders and chest, followed by a special mask that hydrates the skin. Facials are performed by licensed estheticians that have been trained to do skin analysis, perform extractions of blackheads and other impurities and apply products suitable for your skin type. The goal of a classic European facial is to achieve smooth, clear and well-hydrated skin. Variations of the European facial include mini-facials, which offer cleansing and moisturizing without extractions. Special additions to facials may include collagen, Vitamin C, or oxygen.

Body treatments are like a facial for your whole body. Body scrubs help remove dead skin cells and take 10 or 15 minutes. Afterwards you may be covered in plastic for 20 minutes before the treatment product is removed in the shower. Some scrubs are designed to leave a thin coating of moisturizer on the skin after the scrub is rinsed off.

A body mask is a good choice if you have a problem with blackheads or pimples on your back. Detoxifying body treatments may include algae, mud or seaweed that is applied before you are wrapped in a thermal blanket.

Reflexology uses pressure point massage on the feet, hands and ears to enhance the flow of energy throughout the body.

Indigenous treatments use local ingredients in therapeutic scrubs, lotions and moisturizing masks. You might be offered a honey/avocado and strawberry mask in California or a blueberry body scrub in Maine. Spas that are located near mineral springs

Tips For Choosing A Spa and Spa Treatments

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often advertise the therapeutic benefits of soaking in the water or claim the application of mud helps draw impurities from the skin.

Treatments like chemical peels and microdermabrasion are anti-aging therapies that take a facial a bit farther. They’re designed to remove dead cells that make the skin look dull and achieve a smoother, younger look. Unfortunately, when performed incorrectly they can leave some people with red, irritated skin that is far from the desired result.

A new trend in spa treatments is medical injections like Botox® and Restylane® to reduce wrinkles and make the face look younger. Before you schedule this type of treatment, make sure the spa has a licensed physician performing the procedures. n

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HYPNOSIS

by Amanda Knoles

Manufacturers of outerwear have incorporated more functionality into their designs this year. Many have added lots of extra pockets to provide convenient storage spaces for keys, PDAs, wallets, cell phones, and MP3 players. You’ll also see more reversible coat styles using two complementary colors, or two different textures such as solid color fleece on one side and a quilted print on the other.

Trenches are classic, functional, and easy to wear in a variety of weather conditions. Designers have updated them over the years with practical zip-out fleece linings, water repellant finishes, hideaway hoods, and a host of other features. Last spring we saw trenches in a rainbow of colors. This winter, they look newer than ever in shortened leather versions perfect with skirts or slacks. Also new this season are trenches in unexpected fabrics like corduroy and satin with contrasting belts, leather trim on the cuffs, and eye-catching zippers.

Vests are making a comeback

on and off the slopes. You’ll see heavier down styles that can stand up to the cold and a variety of trimmer, less bulky styles that layer well under a jacket. Several designers offered reversible vests last season featuring a solid color on one side and a print on the other. Look for versions this winter featuring western-style pockets, and a trimmer cut perfect for weekend wear with jeans and a sweater.

Athletic jackets feature more vents, moisture-wicking linings, water- and stain-repellant features, as well as lighter weight fabrics to ensure ease of movement while playing golf, shooting baskets, or cross-country skiing. Coat makers are also using stretch fabrics and allowing more room in the shoulders and arms.

Several manufacturers have introduced jackets that come with two or more pieces that can be used alone or together depending on how cold the temperature gets. For example, a rain jacket with a detachable hood comes with a fleece-removable jacket and a matching quilted vest.

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Zip-off sleeves began as a convenience feature in the athletic market, but more makers of casual wear are realizing that many people appreciate the convenience of removing sleeves when they get too warm.

Those who enjoy biking, hiking, or cross-country skiing may want to invest in a portable jacket in a bag. The lightweight jacket offers an extra layer of warmth or rain protection, but folds up easily into a small tote that can be stashed in a backpack, saddlebag, or a storage compartment in your car.

Microsuede has become the fabric of choice for men in full-zip jackets. Designers are also giving men more color choices like charcoal, sage, and moss along with navy, brown, and black. Men’s overcoats have a more contemporary look. With a slightly trimmer fit than styles in years past, the coat layers easily over a sports jacket, but also offers a button-out lining and lots of pockets.

Women’s outerwear spans the gamut from snug-fitting short leather jackets to full-length wrap coats reminiscent of styles worn by movie stars in the ‘40s. Tweed and hounds-tooth are back in a big way, and you’ll also see a lot of glen plaid.

If you’re looking for a timeless coat that can be worn with casual or dressier clothes, tweed is a good choice. Most tweeds combine black and white, brown and tan, or black and gray, making them easy to wear with other classic colors in your wardrobe.

Pastels are no longer reserved

just for spring. Expect to see a lot of full-length winter white, powder blue, and pink wool styles designed to be worn with dresses and skirts.

Look for lots of car coats for both men and women this season. They aren’t as bulky as a knee-length or longer coat, but offer more warmth and coverage than a shorter jacket.

Long sweater coats are cozy and practical. They’re perfect for teaming with a turtleneck and pants on a slightly chilly day when a heavier coat would be too warm. You’ll find them in angora, cashmere, and cable knits, some with belts and hoods, and others trimmed with long fringe or faux fur.

Bright colored wool coats in yellow, orange, red, and purple team with black pants and white sweaters for a very 60’s look. You’ll also see pink boucle, boiled wool, and mohair used to give outerwear a more textured look than in years past.

Cowboy boots are everywhere this winter and so are leather-fringed jackets. The twist this season is western-style jackets in colors like turquoise, jade green, and deep burgundy.

Weekend wear includes durable soft shell jackets with insulation, waterproof denim, and urban street looks that combine a hip design with plenty of roomy pockets. Other hot styles include flannel-lined canvas barn coats, military-style pea coats, short capes, and long, western-style dusters with elaborate embroidery, studs, and other embellishments. n


Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

That was the pithy French phrase that my mother always said about a difficult turn of events. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It was not only a phrase that provided me little comfort, but also a phenomenon that I’ve not found to be true for me in the least. Although I don’t know how the French would say it, in my experience, the more things change, the more frustrating, unmanageable and infuriating my life becomes.

I think it was April 7, 2004

when my then-four-year-old stopped changing his pants. It might have been April 9th. Or sometime in May. I spent that summer trying to pinpoint the date, identify the cause, thinking I could somehow undo what had been done.

What had been done was my son had changed. From a person who would wear anything I put out for him, to a person who would wear barely anything at all.

It had been a cold spring, and he decided that the only pants he could wear were his combat fatigues. They were actually sweat pants designed to look like combats. They were two sizes too small and the material on the knees was completely frayed. He stopped wearing his long-sleeved shirts that day, too. He’d put one on and no sooner would he slip his arms into the sleeves then he was ripping it off over his head as if the shirt itself was made of fire. Thus began my nightmare of dressing my son.

Warm days were good days. There were a few short-sleeve shirts he would still deign to wear. At home he would wear this knee-length, one-piece Lycra swimsuit. It was mostly black with electric-yellow cuffs and collar. He looked like a miniature Lance Armstrong.

I shopped for other Lycra clothes for him, but the smallest they came was size eight. I brought home a gray Nike shirt that he approved of, except for the sleeves that hung

down far below his fingertips. I cut and hemmed them, and that’s what he wore every day, with his combat sweat pants and tie-dyed socks, until the day he got acrylic paint on the sleeve during art. In case you’re curious, there is no way to get acrylic paint out of Lycra. Don’t bother trying.

The more things change, the more people grope for solutions.

My husband came to me one day and announced he had spoken to my son at length, and he now had some ideas about how to get him to wear other clothes. By this point, I’d given up trying to threaten, cajole, force or beg him to change clothes. I’d also given up trying to wash his lone outfit every night. He wore exactly the same thing, day in and day out, all week. I washed on Saturdays.

“The boy likes clothes made of Lycra,” my husband reported, “like his swimsuit. One-piece items with zippers are especially desirable. And he likes things that are made of silver.”

He had a self-satisfied look on his face as if he’d somehow solved the problem.

“Are you suggesting we get our child a silver, one-piece, Lycra suit?” I asked. “Like a glam-rocker?”

My husband said “Yes, that’s right.”

“And where do you think we might find one of those? For a four-year-old?” I pressed.

He paused only for an instant. “We can have one made.”

Don’t worry. We didn’t.

The more things change, the more things change again.

Summer came and a lot of the problem just sorted itself out. Three pairs of tight nylon shorts and a few acceptable tee shirts were worn and laundered regularly. I worried about September; about his leaving the cozy little Pre-K that was so nurturing, where no one would think of questioning a child’s decision to wear the same filthy clothes every day, and his starting the big, public school Kindergarten full of social service workers and counselors all making sure that none of their students fall victim to neglect. I worried about who would seem crazier, him or me, if he came to school in the same exact outfit every day.

But much of those fears were unnecessary. I managed to find a new pair of sweat pants that fit him, that he liked, and that he would agree to wear. Then I bought six more identical pairs and moved on. My son is now in second grade, and each autumn he locks onto one pair of pants and one shirt. I have stopped wishing he would wear a variety of clothing styles and instead have resigned myself to the idea that if it hasn’t hurt Charlie Brown or Bert & Ernie to wear the same outfit every day, it’s probably ok for my kid, too.

The more things change… n

A ChAnge of ClotheS? by Jessica Wolf

thAt’S life

I

www.njlifeandleisure.com


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Self-improvement. Hmph. There’s always room for improvement. But some “rooms” are bigger than others. When I was in my twenties, the “room for improvement” was more like a gaping hole the size of the Grand Canyon. (And I mean looking from the south side, not the smaller, north side.) I didn’t just need a long chat with a girlfriend to feel better. I needed a major overhaul like the Scarecrow on the Wizard of Oz, my insides pulled out and replaced. And in my own way, I got that with a lot of help. So I’m all for self-improvement.

I’ve read in Buddhist literature that this notion of improving oneself has, lodged within it, self-hatred. Hmmm…The constant striving to be “improved” rejects ourselves as we are, in this

moment. Okay, well, that’s fine, unless you are such a jerk that people back away from you at a party, (again, me in my twenties.) a small smile frozen on their faces, a slightly scared look in their eyes. In cases like these, let’s agree on improving ourselves just a bit. Improve up to at least not psychotic, and then move on to the Zen of self-acceptance.

These days, it is so chic to be self-improving that any minute there is going to be a new reality show called “How Improved are YOU?” where contestants have to go through a year of therapy and self-help programs in front of the cameras. There will be an interview before the year begins and then again after the year is completed to monitor improvements. No, not an interview…maybe…ummm…

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maybe lunch with their mother. Yeah-that’s it! Let’s see how the ole’ self-improvement’s doing when La Madre mispronounces your husband’s name again.

But I wouldn’t even apply to be a contestant because it just wouldn’t be fair. I’m actually thinking of starting my own lending library, I have so many self-help books. Honestly, I don’t mean to brag, but I could have bought a small Caribbean island with all the money I’ve spent on therapy. I would have been that much closer to Johnny Depp and his family on their private island. But I would have been nutty as a fruit cake. I would have been “that weird lady who parties with her cats every other Tuesday.” And Johnny would never have visited me. So, no island for me.

I get to gauge my self-improvement, I mean, self-acceptance, through things like chocolate. As a small child, my chocolate consumption peaked with my pouring warm water into about a half a cup of dry Nestlé’s Quick powder, stirring briskly. I would then eat the “mud” with a spoon under the kitchen table. This kind of diet made me so sick over time that when I finally had any sense at all as a young adult, I stopped completely. Big improvement!

Fast-forward to me sitting in

bed one day last spring, tired as a sherpa half way up Mt. Everest, two small boys running laps around my bedroom, when Oprah comes on, featuring Dr. Oz. He tells me that if chocolate is 70% or more cocoa, it’s good for me. It’s an antioxidant. Well, if Dr. Oz on Oprah isn’t permission, I don’t know what is. So my long dormant inner chocolate monster shakes her cage and bursts out, driving me straight to Whole Foods where, for a cool $2.49, I buy Lindt chocolate, 70%, dahling.

Is 70% an” improvement” over eating no chocolate at all? I eat a couple of squares, imagining all the anitoxidizing it’s doing to whatever part of me it is that needs antioxidizing, but I still get this googly feeling that something terrible is going to happen. And it’s not because I’m sitting under the kitchen table. I mean, sure, today it’s 70%, but tomorrow it could be 60%, then 50, and before I know it I’ll be downing 7 Snickers bars like I did briefly when I was pregnant and was completely run over by the hormone swing.

So in the end, sometimes it’s hard to say if or how I’m improving but I’ll tell you what is improving: CHOCOLATE. n


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whAt i did for love by Christina Loccke

thAt’S life I I I

I open the front door to see a veil of snow almost masking the leaves we meant to rake last weekend. There is so little actually sticking to the ground that I imagine one deep, warm breath could reduce the entire accumulation to a few droplets. Standing, sipping my coffee, I hear rattling from above, and turn to see a groggy toddler shaking the stairway gate. She begins this day like all others, with the heartfelt call, “Daaaaaddy!”

I take a last gulp of coffee, still too hot to enjoy, and glance back outside to see my momentary winter reverie disappear into steam forming

on the storm door’s glass. Rockwellian fantasies of robust holiday cheer abound, as I leap up the stairs to begin our day.

Nearly three hours of waking, eating, drinking, dressing, changing, Daddy-demanding and diapering pass, before I put the baby back down for a nap, and head outside with a monitor in one hand and a toddler in the other.

I find the sleigh already in place. A blanket still lies in the bottom from our recent attempt at a Christmas card shot. I realize that the pillowy, chenille throw that belongs on the back of my couch was

outside during the recent ice storms, and is now solidly lodged into the rails of our wooden sleigh. Not to be defeated, I employ all the industry, brute force, and poor judgment necessary to remove the enormous white brick that now weighs more than my children combined.

“Time for sleigh riding!” I nearly shout, trying to rally excitement in my shivering toddler. I place her in the icy seat and begin to push down the gentle incline of my yard before we abruptly stop.

My yard is small. Quite small. I knew I was hedging my bets when I suggested we sleighride—hoping that this well-loved winter sport would be so new and exciting in my daughter’s two, vast years of experience that novelty would compensate for lack of speed and distance. Our tracks are only fifteen feet long when she turns in the sled and asks in a voice filled with ennui beyond her years, “Mommy when you gonna go so fast?”

I smile knowingly as I let out all the slack on the pull-rope and begin running a full lap around our house, making sure I swing her wide on the corners for added speed. She remains unimpressed, going so far as to say, “We need my daddy.”

Fearing my image is in jeopardy, I pull her into our widest clearing in the front yard and begin doing donuts. The lack of any real snow makes this difficult, but the frozen ground and multitude of leaves come to the rescue as centripetal force takes hold. Finally, she begins to crack a big smile. It isn’t long before

she tumbles over the side. I am thankful for the padding of her snowsuit when she sits up, smiles, and informs me that she finds me “silly” but “needs Daddy.”

Seeing my opening, I grab hold of my silliness and run with it. The pink soccer ball frozen to the base of a yew becomes my motivation. My daughter promptly returns to the sled, I grab hold of the rope, and begin kicking the ball back and forth across the yard, jerking my now hysterical child behind me. Her laughter is so convulsive that she can hardly keep her eyes open as tears flow down her cheeks. Part of me starts to feel like an abused circus animal, parading back and forth, balancing a pink ball at the tip of my toes, ignoring the sore muscles and winded lungs; but I suppress these feelings and cheer aloud, “I’m back!”

Later in the evening, as I rock the baby to sleep, I wonder why I felt such a strong need to suddenly become the outdoor-fun-loving super-mom. Am I seeking some fairytale image of parenting found only in Currier and Ives? Do I simply want my children to have a heightened appreciation for winter sports? Am I becoming (eeek!) a competitive mommy? Could it be that I’m just not as fun as Daddy? (Nah!) I suspect I may never be able to answer these questions, but at this moment, I am thankful just to be the one to rock our baby girl to sleep. Just as this thought is leaving my mind, she leans back with her eyes nearly closed and mutters “dadadadada…” n

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| simple living |


Tired of trudging through the snow, fighting bone-chilling winds, and piling on layers of bulky clothes? Book a

winter getaway and unwind at a warm and sunny destination sure to lift your spirits.

Hawaii offers lush accommodations, stunning views, and a variety of activities in near-perfect weather. Depending on the length of your stay, you can visit one island or several. Kick back on the beach, take a surfing lesson, or explore vibrant fern forests and hidden waterfalls. You can go whale watching, scuba diving, or hike down an ancient path to see the fiery lava of a volcano. Many of the larger hotels provide supervised activities for children, leaving time for mom and dad to enjoy

a cozy drink by the pool or a romantic walk along the beach. Whether you visit Oahu, Maui, or Kauai, you’ll find a variety of accommodations from budget motels to condos, luxury hotels, and opulent villas. Many travel agencies and airlines offer packages that include accommodations, airfare, and a rental car for a week.

Looking for something to do with the kids while they’re on a winter break? A trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida is fun for the whole family. There’s a plethora of things to see and do, including visits to the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Universal Studios, gator farms, etc. Check with a local travel agent or your favorite airline for package deals that include accommodations, a rental car for a week, and theme park tickets. You might

even consider combining a visit to Florida with a short cruise to the Bahamas.

Winter is a great time to visit Las Vegas as long as you avoid booking your stay during holidays. Although it can get chilly at night, during the day the temperature ranges from the upper-50’s to 70 degrees F. There’s more to see and do in Las Vegas than ever, including casino gambling, world-class shopping, highly-rated restaurants, luxurious spas, nightlife, desert excursions, and more.

Whether you choose Phoenix, Scottsdale or Tucson, Arizona is a great place to visit from November-March. You can spend the day on the golf course, marvel at the Grand Canyon, visit art galleries and museums or explore the Sonoran desert.

Scottsdale’s Sonoran Preserve encompasses more than 34,000 acres and provides a 57-square mile haven for hikers, equestrians, and mountain bikers. Cowboy cookouts, hayrides, cattle drives, and visits to classic Western towns are fun for the whole family. Arizona is well known for its world-class spa resorts, but you’ll find a wide variety of accommodations, restaurants, shopping, and attractions to suit every budget.

Mexico offers a sunny escape at very affordable prices. The temperature stays around 80 degrees for most of the high season. Puerto Vallarta has an abundance of beachside hotels where you can sip an exotic drink on the sand and even shop

Warm Weather Destinations for A Winter Escapeb y A m A n d A K n o l e s


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| health & fitness |

All the best for the New Year!! Following recuperation from the celebration, how about time for reflection? Revel in your progress; congratulate yourself on your successes. Yet, acknowledge your mistakes as well. After all, if we don’t learn the lessons from our past mistakes, we may just keep recycling them, maybe rebottling them with a new appearance but drinking in the same old toxins with the same, repetitive, nasty outcomes. Okay, I know, you’re busy. Life is hectic. Nonetheless, our time is limited here on this earth plane; and if you don’t start today, then when?

Make it an urgent priority because you are worth it. Take time to look back, examine the past year, assess the present and consider the hopes for the future. So, in case you haven’t pondered this question, please consider it now: where are you in your life and where do you want to be? Take a few deep breaths. This is a heavy duty question that may take some time for you to formulate a response. Predictably, few of us can say that the answers to those two questions are identical; which indicates there is still significant work (I prefer to call it “adventure”) ahead for us this year.

Yes, you can influence your future starting now. It’s all done daily by your choices. Remember, choices can be a knee jerk response or you can take control of your life to a greater extent and really choose what you want

to include and what you want excluded, removed or prohibited from your life. And how may you do this, you might query? Well, glad I asked. May I suggest you take better control of your life by eliminating faulty mind sets, erroneous belief systems and rid yourself of past negative emotions that have remained in the part of your brain we call your primitive brain, the amygdala? Now, I’m not suggesting that you do this totally on your own. There are professional Hypnocounselors who may assist you as you communicate with your subconscious self; you know the subconscious part, the one really in charge, the one who has been your silent partner since birth. The best part is how easy people find it is to utilize the modality of hypnosis to make desired changes in their mind sets, belief systems and in thinking positive consciously as well as subconsciously. Think Self-improvement. Think Self-empowerment. Celebrate with Hypnosis this year or maybe start today? n

Gale Glassner Twersky A.C.H., Ct. H A., is President of Glassner Associates Hypnosis for Personal Growth and Wellness. Gale is certified in Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapy and is a HypnoCounselor/Featured Public Speaker/teacher with two offices Montclair. Gale authored/recorded the single CD, “Relax, Release and Dream On”, (released 2006). Her 9 CD Series “Reprogram Your Subconscious: How to Use Hypnosis to Get What You Really Want” produced by Nightingale-Conant Corp., (2005) is still a “Top Seller.” Please email comments: [email protected] Visit Glassner Associates Hypnosis: www.hypnocounseling.com

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Starting Points for Creating Intimacyby Irisha Brown, M.A., M. Ed

2008. A new year of unlimited opportunities for personal fulfillment, growth and adventure. From the perspective of intimacy, what might this mean for each of us?

Psychological intimacy seems to be the bedrock upon which most lasting relationships are built, however, anecdotal experiences and empirical research lead to the same conclusion: as a culture, we need formal lessons in “how to create relationships that promote and sustain intimacy” and, “how to be intimate”!

In much the same way that we teach our youth to read and write we need to prepare for the roles we’ll play where intimacy is required, whether those roles are romantic or not.

Our perceptions and definitions of intimacy vary based on gender, age, culture and economics, and change from relationship to relationship and within relationships over time. Intimacy is a critical, fluid relationship dynamic that benefits from our ongoing review and maintenance of it.

In two separate studies, one

conducted on college students and the other on couples who had been in relationships for thirty or more years, the “sense of psychological intimacy,” or the ability to fully disclose one’s self were identified as significant indicators of satisfaction within the relationship.

Understanding and accepting the impact of socialization on who each person is and how they relate to the idea of “intimacy” is a fundamental first step in creating an environment where self disclosure can flourish.

Recognizing that an individual’s ability and need to self disclose may change, and being able to accept and work with that is also critical for the support and nurturance of intimacy within the relationship.

Actively communicating about individual needs for self disclosure and how to best create the opportunity for doing so are also critical for mutual satisfaction. n

To be continued...Irisha Brown, M.A., M. Ed., is an Intimacy and Relationship Coach and Proprietress of the boutique, Initmate Engagements, in Montclair, NJ. Please email questions and comments to [email protected]

Intimate Engagements has everything you'll need when you're "In the

Mood"!

For spicy, fun romance, select from our Kama

Sutra Collections of oils and lovers'

gift sets!

Intimate Engagements217 Glenridge Ave.

Montclair, NJ 973.509.1687


| dining in & out |

43 Glenridge Ave. • Montclair, NJT: (973) 744-0717 F: (973) 415-8354

www.gigibaystreetcafe.comFREE DELIVERY ($10 min.)

• Free WiFi •Serving Breakfast & LunchM-F: 6-4pm / Sat: 8-3pm

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Feeding Montclair for 80 Years

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613 Valley Rd. | Upper Montclair | 973-746-0911

Daily Specials Homemade

Soups

Looking for a great Restaurant?

visit MontclairEats.com

COMFORT FOODSmade Fast and Healthy!

by Healthy Exchanges

Wild Rice aNd Beef SOup

Nothing says January (National Soup Month) better than a steaming bowl of hot soup!

8 ounces extra-lean ground sirloin beef or turkey breast

1 (14-ounce) can Swanson Lower Sodium Fat Free Chicken Broth

1 (10 3/4-ounce) can Campbell’s Healthy Request Cream of Mushroom Soup

1/2 cup shredded carrots1 (12-fluid-ounce) can

Carnation Evaporated Fat Free Milk

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour3/4 cup shredded Kraft

reduced-fat Cheddar cheese1/2 cup Land O’Lakes Fat Free

Half & Half1 teaspoon dried parsley flakes2 tablespoons chopped green

onion2 tablespoons Kraft Fat Free

Ranch Dressing2/3 cup uncooked quick

wild rice

In a large saucepan sprayed with butter-flavored cooking spray, brown meat. Stir in chicken broth, mushroom soup and carrots. In a covered jar, combine evaporated milk and flour. Shake well to blend. Pour milk mixture into meat mixture. Add Cheddar cheese, half & half, parsley flakes, green onion and ranch dressing. Mix well to combine. Lower heat. Simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in uncooked rice. Remove from heat, cover and let sit for 5 minutes. Gently stir just before serving. Makes 6 (1 cup) servings.

Each serving: 234 calories, 6g fat, 17g protein, 28g carb., 580mg sodium, 373mg calcium, 1g fiber; Diabetic Exchanges: 2 Starch/Carbs, 1 1/2 Meat; Carb Choices: 2.

Visit Healthy Exchanges at www.healthyexchanges.com, or call toll-free at 1-800-766-8961 for more information about our “common folk” healthy recipes.

© 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.

www.meemasdesserts.com

MeeMa’s

MeeMa’s 107 Pine St. • Montclair • 973.783.0100

300 cookie varieties & Italian CheesecakesHomemade Cupcakes & Cookies

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Limited Orders Accepted“Order Early”

Try our Angel Food Cake!

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Voted Area’s Top Steakhouse

Happy Hour: Sun-ThursHappy Nights: Thurs & Fri: 10pm - 2am

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also located at:80 Wagaraw Road

Hawthorne • 973.427.9200

SAM

Party Room & Gift Certificates Available

Daily Specials

15 Years Still the BEST for LESS!

38 Upper Montclair PlazaUpper Montclair, NJ

Tel: 973.655.1441Fax: 973.655.1350

LebaneseCuisine

Lunch & DinnerDelivery Available

A Taste of the Middle East

517 Bloomfield ave. montclair

973-783-3436

On and Off Premises Catering

ProPrietor/chef Pat turano

Brazilian BarBeque & italian restaurant

Dessert is on the house with your dinner.

Bring this ad. Expires: Feb. 15 2008

WE DELIVER250 Mill St.

Belleville, NJ Ph: 973-450-4700 Fax: 973-450-4704

BBrothers Quality Bakery365 Kearny Ave, Kearny • 201-991-4364

Hours: Mon-Fri: 6am-8pm ~ Sun: 6am-6pm

Let us be a part of your Wedding Day!Bar & Grill

Home of The Killer Ribs!

• Phone In Orders For Pickup or Delivery• Catering Available

Happy Hour 3-7 Mon-Fri

Includes 2 For 1Beer, Wine

& Well Drinks$1 OFF

All Drinks - 11-1pm

WATCH THE GAME10 TV’S Including

46” HDTV!OPEN DAILY FOR LUNCH & DINNER

505 Pompton Ave. Cedar Grove, NJ

973-239-1400jimdandys.net


Italian RestaurantStephanie’s 283 Bloomfield Avenue

CAldwell, nJ 07006973-226-2142

restAurAntpAssion.Com

ß ßDine-in or Carry outCatering for all oCCasions

Gift CertifiCAtes AvAilABle in Any denominAtion.

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“Our Family Tradition Lives On”

www.genCarellisCuCina.Com open tuesDay - sunDay 381 BloomfielD ave. ~ montClair ~ 973.744.8881

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Live Entertainment - January 10th ~ Danny Heise

Come celebrate the Holiday Season and the opening of Montclair’s newest Italian Eatery

Enjoy traditional Italian food in a warm casual atmosphere while sampling the area’s most unique

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1099 Broad St. | Bloomfield, NJ PH: 973.338.8200 faX: 973.338.8203

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We all experience situations in life when we become disorganized. During an illness, or while working on a project at work that requires a lot of travel, or during a life change like moving, getting married, having kids, or starting a new job. What makes chronic disorganization different is that order is not quickly and fairly easily restored. The situation tends to worsen over time. At a certain point it becomes overwhelming and help is needed to recover. If your quality of life is suffering, you feel stressed and overwhelmed much of the time, and you don’t feel like you can fix it yourself, you may be chronically disorganized.

What is Chronic Disorganization?

Chronic disorganization is a term coined by Judith Kolberg when she noticed that some of her clients had great difficulty maintaining traditional organizing methods. Seeing a lack of resources for helping people overcome chronic disorganization, she wrote the book “Conquering Chronic Disorganization.”

In 2001, she founded the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization (NSGCD).

With over 900 members, the NSGCD now includes psychologists, educators, coaches, and other professionals who work with people suffering from long term, severe clutter and disorganization.

The NSGCD defines chronic disorganization as having all three of the following:

A history of disorganization in which efforts to get organized

have not been maintained.

An ongoing undermining of your current quality of life due to disorganization.

An expectation that you will continue to be disorganized.

The term “chronically disorganized” is NOT a diagnosis. It is used to indicate that traditional organizing methods will probably not be maintained and will require particularly unique and simple organizing solutions to become more organized. The individual may also need: education to learn skills; coaching to change habits and sustain motivation; emotional support to increase self-confidence, and possibly long term maintenance support.

If you are chronically disorganized, the standards for “successful organization” are usually different from what other people perceive as well-organized. For example, professional organizers often advise that you open mail every day and process it immediately. For you, opening and processing mail once a week may be a more than “good enough” standard. n

© 2007 Ariane Benefit

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed, is an Organizing Coach specializing in helping people reduce stress and save time by making their lives simpler, easier and more efficient. What’s keeping you from having the joyful life you want? Based in Bloomfield, NJ, she is the author of the popular organizing and decluttering blog, Neat & Simple Living and the “Neat & Simple Guide to Organizing Your Office”. She can be reached at 973-429-2100 and on the web at www.neatandsimple.com.

Understanding Chronic Disorganization part 1

Keil’s Pharmacy

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Certified Fitters on staffDelivery and Setup available

Open EVERYDAY including Weekends and Holidays!

Over 70 years of serviceWe accept all insurance plansInsurance and Medicare Billing Available

Yes, We Make House Calls!732 Valley Road

Upper Montclair, NJ 07043973-744-2113 • 973-744-2691 fax

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byAriane Benefit, M.S.Ed.


Escape the winter blues and start a fitness program that makes you happy. Getting in better shape can be fun and rewarding. Most people don’t live up to their New Years resolution and goals because they go from one extreme to the next. The first step is to set a realistic goal for yourself that is obtainable without making a drastic change in your lifestyle. Whether your goal is to lose weight, tone up, get stronger, feel better or just be able to move better, you have to be smart and start slow. A common mistake that many people make is to dive into a fitness regimen that

their mind and body is not use to and they either wind up injured, overwhelmed or so sore that they never want to do it again. The most important thing when changing your lifestyle is to have a positive mindset, and this commonly becomes a negative when you make drastic changes that you are not ready for. You do not want to set yourself up for disappointment or failure. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and you have a poor diet and have been very inactive for quite a while, it is crucial that you take small steps towards living a healthier lifestyle. Everybody wants

results right away or take a pill that will fix it all, but it does not work that way. Getting in better shape requires changes in your daily routine and discipline that will be different than your current routine. So remember, small changes are always easier to handle than drastic ones. A good way to start living a healthier lifestyle is to make one change per month. For example, you can start walking or running a couple times a week the first month, and then you can make a healthy change in your diet the following month. Your goal should be to make a small change every month. If you

follow this course of action over the year, you will feel less depressed about the changes and more likely to succeed. This plan of action reduces the risk of injury and extreme muscle soreness that may occur when starting a fitness program. It is also important to note that good nutrition is the key to everything and without it you will never fully achieve your goals. n

BE THE BEST YOU CAN BEAND

SET NEW GOALS

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get fit with elise Faster, Better, Stronger

Getfitwithelise.comby Elise Nelson

Beat the Winter Blues - Set New Goals

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from the red rock canyons of the south to the rugged mountains of the north.

Park City is a fun destination for skiers and non-skiers. Quaint Main Street offers a variety of interesting shops, top-rated eateries, hip bars, and rowdy nightclubs. The town also hosts the popular Sundance Film Festival for 10 days and nights beginning January 19, when thousands of film buffs, moviemakers and celebrities converge on the town to pay homage to independent films.

Banff, Canada boasts three outstanding ski resorts. Banff/Norquay, Sunshine Village, and Lake Louise offer more than 7,700 acres and 240 trails for skiers and snowboarders of all abilities. Skiing and snowboarding enthusiasts enjoy wide-open bowls, tree-lined glades covered in dry powder, groomed slopes with short lift lines, and spectacular scenery. More adventurous types can even climb a frozen waterfall. The area is world famous for its spas. You can immerse yourself in the historic

waters of Banff Upper Hot Springs and enjoy a picturesque

view of mountain peaks, or indulge in a soothing body wrap

and massage at one of the luxury resorts.

Many people think of New Mexico as a warm weather destination,

but in winter this southwestern state offers plenty of snow

for skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, and snowshoeing.

Snowmobiles are permitted in the Carson National Forest in

the northern part of the state and in certain areas around Red

River, Angel Fire, and the Ski Apache resort in Lincoln County.

The Chama area near the Colorado border is famous for its huge

bowls and rolling country just below the 10,000-ft. Cumbres

Pass. Snowshoeing is popular around the Santa Fe ski areas as

well as the Manzano Mountains near Albuquerque. n


Fun Cold Weather Vacation Destinations

for souvenirs as local vendors walk by. Pamper yourself with spa treatments in the morning, play golf in the afternoon, and take in an awesome sunset before indulging in a gourmet meal. Or spend the day exploring the wonders of the deep while scuba diving or snorkeling at Los Arcos. For those who crave more adventure, whale watching, jeep tours, sport fishing, and parasailing are available. Shoppers can bargain with vendors for exquisite silver jewelry, decorative accessories, pottery, leather goods, and much more. Accommodations range from luxury beachside resorts to condos, villas, and budget hotels downtown.

While people in the U.S. and Canada are shivering from icy winds, Australia is enjoying summer. Head for the land down under and you’ll enjoy everything from spectacular coastal drives to outback adventures. Myriad attractions include coral reefs, unique animals, rainforest, rolling hills, and architectural wonders. You can choose to take in the nightlife of Sydney, the white sand beaches of Brisbane, or explore the rugged mountains and forests of Tasmania. Check with a local travel agent for a package that includes airfare to your choice of cities, accommodations, and rental cars.

When people daydream about an escape, one of the first places that come to mind is the Caribbean. Although winter is high season for most Caribbean islands, it’s still possible to get good deals. Keep in mind that once you’ve chosen one island as your primary destination, ferries, hydrofoils, and regional airlines make it fairly easy to visit other islands. St. Vincent and the nearby Grenadines offer lush mountains, unspoiled landscapes, and crystal clear waters. Activities range from sailing and dolphin watching to hiking nature trails and swimming in waterfalls. You can hike to the top of a volcano, explore underwater gardens, or take a Jeep safari and visit a turtle sanctuary. n

Warm Weather Destinations for A Winter Escape


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