20
NEWS and VIEWS O.A.I.A. O.A.I.A. O.A.I.A. 2016
NEWS and VIEWS
O.A.I.A.O.A.I.A.O.A.I.A.
2016
2
Markham Seniors’ Activity Centre– 22 Water Street, Markham, ON L3P 7P9
Phone: 905-294-5111 OAIA website: http://www.markhamseniorcentre.com
The News & Views is published nine times annually
President Peter Cannon
Vice President
Mike Huffman
Publisher Jean Lew
Proof Reader
Marjorie Nielsen
Treasurer Roshan Doctor
Assistant Treasurer
Shirley Eison
Secretary Audrey Hillis
Membership Director
Marjorie Nielsen
Directors
Mark Barrett Helga Brown Doug Clarke
Helena Miscampbell Ellie Mosher
Newsletter Contact- [email protected]
Note- Members can view the newsletter at: www.markhamseniorcentre.com
Membership I would like to take this opportunity to THANK Margaret Hawryluk for the many years she has been the Volunteer who has filed all of our membership applications. Margaret is stepping down for health reasons, and I want to again say THANK YOU, for all she has done in helping me with the membership. I am looking for a volunteer who will take over the filing as of March 1
st as
this will give you time to ease into the position before September renewals begin.
Please contact me at 905-472-6848 or [email protected]
… Marjorie Nielsen Membership Director
Membership New members PLEASE Pick up your name badge at the front desk. You need to wear your name badge at all the events you participate in. We are always looking for Volunteers, leave your name at the Front Desk. … Marjorie Nielsen Membership Director
3
President’s Report ....Peter Cannon
H ello everyone,
My, how the time flies. We just had Family Day and Easter is just around the corner and not forgetting March break in between. We have been very lucky to have mostly snow-free conditions so it is easy to get around. Spring will soon be here. I am pleased to report that we have a new Special Events Convenor, Gillian Scraggs, who has kindly offered to take on the job. She will be looking for helpers and I hope that some of you will join her to create some new fun events. Please do give her your unstinting support. Some new weights have been purchased so that there will be no need to move them from the Auditorium to the Craft Room any more. We became aware that was hazardous and do not want anybody to hurt themselves. The club premises will be closed for Easter on Good Friday, March 25
th.
All activities are running very nicely, thanks to all the effort put out by our happy band of Convenors and their helpers. Do offer to help with setting up and taking down the gear used for your activity. Please do also remember to thank the volunteers who provide your entertainment and exercise programs. Enjoy your club and please wear your badges.
4
Apple Chutney 6 lbs of apples (hard apples, such as granny smith) 3 1/2 lbs sugar 2 lbs sultanas 3/4 lb of preserved ginger 1 tsp allspice 1 oz salt 3 pints vinegar
Conversion Table 1 lbs equals 0.4536 kilograms 1 oz equals 2 tbsp 1 pint equals 2 cups Peel, core and chop the apples into small pieces and chop up the sultanas and ginger. Mix the vinegar, sugar, salt and spices together and bring to boil, then add the apples and simmer for ten minutes before adding the ginger and sultanas. Simmer until the mixture becomes fairly thick, then pour into warmed jars. When cool, seal tightly. Makes approximately 8-10 mason jars ( 1 1/2 c size).
Submitted by Susan Holland
GREETING CARDS
If someone you know is ill or has had an
accident or has lost a loved one or is
celebrating an anniversary such as 50
years or celebrating a birthday of 90 years
or older, we would like to know about it.
Please fill out a form at the front desk or
email Margaret Yade at:
sully [email protected] with the
information and a card will be mailed out on
behalf of the members of the club.
...Margaret Yade
5
Volunteer Needed To Run Our Kitchen
This club would lose half its value to members if we did not provide coffee in the lounge and for various activities, and if there were no kitchen facilities for lunches and special events. Our present Kitchen Convenor, Susan Holland, has been running it for the last 20 years. She has announced that she wants to retire within the next two years. So we urgently need someone to take over. The job involves getting all supplies – milk, cream, paper cups, sugar and so on, and making sure the kitchen itself is fully operational – oven, refrigerators, urns, dishwasher, plates and cutlery. We must find someone to take over this truly vital job. Please call her at 905-294-2937 or e-mail at [email protected].
Happy Easter
… Ellie Mosher Kitchen Director
6
FRIDAY LUNCH
Friday, March 18
Red’s Burgers Hamburgers, Hot dogs
and Sausages
Ice Cream and Cookies
Coffee and Tea $4.00
BINGO
We’re looking for a Convenor for Rama. How about 2 friends taking on the position.
Two of you would make it a much easier job. Lots of help is available to help you with the position.
Please contact Marjorie Nielsen at 905-472-6848
Don’t forget to sign up ASAP as March 10th is Rama day.
… Marjorie Nielsen
7
8
Heavens to Murgatroyd! Would you believe the email spell checker did not
recognize the word Murgatroyd?
Lost Words from our childhood:
Words gone as fast as the buggy whip! Sad really! The other day a not so elderly (65) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said what the heck is a Jalopy? OMG (new phrase!) he never heard of the word jalopy!! She knew she was old but not that old... Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle... …..by Richard Lederer
_____________________________________
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included "Don't touch that dial," "Carbon copy," "You sound like a broken record" and "Hung out to dry." Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We'd put on our best bib and tucker to straighten up and fly right Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy moley! We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn't accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China! Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore. We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, well I'll be a mon-key's uncle! or This is a fine kettle of fish! We discover that the words we grew up with,- the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards. Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We blink, and they're gone. Where have all those phrases gone? Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. - continue next page-
9
Hey! It's your nickel. Don't forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I'll see you in the funny papers. Don't take any wooden nickles Heavens to Murgatroyd! It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills. This can be disturbing stuff ! We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It's one of the greatest advantages of aging. See ya later, alligator! Submitted by Janet Benn
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON KNITTING CLUB
Well we have gotten the winter finally: cold weather and snow. We have been lucky up until now
and can only hope for an early Spring.
The display case is still full of knitted items in case you need a last minute gift. We will be
changing it shortly for the Summer.
The group has sold many items over the last month so we are in the process of replacing them.
We would like to thank Merle for her knitting supplies and books, Joy for her contribution to our
finished items, and Debbie for her contribution also.
I will be away for the month of March but Pat will be more than helpful if you require some knitting.
… Joyce Bulgin
Convenor
10
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN
AND THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE AGAIN.
11
BINGO
March 2016 Wed 2
nd 7:00 pm
Wed 9th
7:00 pm
Wed 16th
7:00 pm
Wed 23rd
7:00 pm
Fri 25th The club is closed
Wed 30th 7:00 pm
… Surinder Singh
Convenor
Lunch Learn Linger
Monday, March 7
th 11:45-12:45
TBA Monday, March 14
th 11:45-12:45
The Moppets return with “Marriage Medley-Dancing Through the Years” Monday, March 21
st 11:45-12:45
Our own “Melody Makers” Monday, March, 28
th
Closed Easter Monday … Marjorie Nielsen Convenor
12
From Our Mah-Jong Tables March 2016
MAH-JONG ACTIVITY
Make sure you wear your Name Badges
We Play All Year Round on These Days
Monday Mah-Jong
In the Craft Room from 1:30 to 4:30 PM
Beginners are taught the Asian Method on Mondays Only
The Asian Method must be learned before attempting to learn the National
Tuesday Mah-Jong
In the Craft Room from 1:00 to 4:30 PM
Only beginners of the National Method are taught on Tuesdays
The Activity Fee is 50 cents to play
You must sign in the Activity Book upon arrival in the Craft Room
Tea/Coffee is 25 cents and must be purchased in the Social (Library) Room
There are only 15 Tables of 4 players allowed in the Craft Room, a total of 60 people
maximum because of the Fire Code
People who come late may not find a table to play at.
Marcia Paci 905-472-1271 -- Muriel Thompson 905-940-1571
Co-Convenors of Mah-Jong - (We accept inquiries)
P.S. There is no Mah-Jong played on Holiday Mondays or OAIA Closures
13
CURRENT EVENTS PLUS GROUP
March 2016
Meetings on Wednesdays - 1:30 to 3:30 pm
West Activity Room
All OAIA members and their guests are welcome to join us in sharing friendly, casual, open, discussions on recent current events. Please sign in and deposit your $1.00 on entering. The weekly program will consist of the group discussing current news events and subjects of interest raised by attendees. Short videos of interest will also be projected on a large movie screen and discussed. Subjects of interest for future gatherings will also be discussed along with sourcing and who will present them. This month’s proposed subjects for the second hour will include:
Lost Vikings of Greenland
India In The World
The Corrupt World Banking System?
What Happens When China Becomes Number One?
Disappearing Rainforests
Hope to see you all on Wednesdays after lunch. Bring a friend.
… Robin Bryan
Convenor
14
15
16
17
18
19
How do court stenographers keep a straight face? These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, very close to your IQ. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
20
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to
your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you attend? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. _________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.
Submitted by Marjorie Nielsen
