Newsletter update - Sept2015 872KB "KIT Newsletter to Afterhof – the new era"

The Keep In Touch Newsletter - update - - - September 2015

KIT Newsletter to Afterhof – the new era

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CONTENTS:

Intro by Linda Jackson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

KIT Newsletter – Keeping in Touch:

report of meeting at Friendly Crossroads . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

ideas from a more recent leaver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

comments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Roger‟s Book possible reprint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

“Toucan 2016” by Maris. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

NEWS FLASH: TOUCAN 2016 . . . . . . . . 10

Address booklet corrections by Margot Purcell . . . . . . . . . 11

Contact Us . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Dear Readers,

This is not a newsletter. There is no editor. This is simply an update on the situation regarding the future of Keeping in Touch. At friendly Crossways the options were discussed. Here is the report of those discussions, aiming to come up with the best viable solution.

Linda



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KIT Newsletter – Keeping in Touch:

Flagship Newsletter of the past quarter century

Meeting: A meeting of about forty ex-Bruderhofers took place on 22nd August

at Friendly Crossways, to discuss the floundering KIT Newsletter, which has been without an editor since early this year. The meeting had been scheduled the night before, at the gathering there, but the issue had been flagged for some

months via the Newsletter updates and through relevant internet groups. Interested people could attend and have their say. Most people at Friendly

Crossways did attend. Though some strongly divergent opinions were expressed on the issues under

discussions, this was consistently done with obvious efforts to "hear" each other, and with respect for different viewpoints. Here is a summary of some of the key points that emerged, based on notes by

some of the participants.

History: A brief history was given by Tim Johnson, who had been asked by Al

Hinkey to chair the meeting. He said it was necessarily an incomplete "history and overview” of the role the KIT Newsletter, founded by Ramon Sender, had

played in networking ("Keeping in Touch") and then increasingly as an archived resource on the Bruderhof, and of many Bruderhof leavers‟ histories and struggles, healing and life-affirming developments after their Bruderhof

experiences. In these discussions, several themes relating to KIT and the Newsletter's

accomplishments, and also its weaknesses, emerged. Among the successes besides simply "Keeping in Touch" and giving a voice to leavers was that the Newsletter had reached a wider audience than just the first

leaver generation. This had also resulted in some measure of accountability for serious violations by the Bruderhof, both of their own proclaimed principles and

of basic principles of people's rights with regard to any semblance of due process at the time of leaving, and subsequently of access to family members remaining in the Bruderhof.

Unfortunately, success in laying bare some of the Bruderhof's highly questionable activities resulted in a backlash by the Bruderhof starting many

years ago, in which it had some success in silencing, or at least partially muting, some of the criticisms, by both legal and "social pressure" means, such as law suits and denying family access.

Contributions to the Newsletter have fallen off over the past few years, as has readership, as new media for keeping in touch with each other emerge.

Subscriptions were at an all time low and it was reported that fundraising (chasing subscriptions) was urgently needed at the gathering, if the Newsletter were to continue in its present form. So the fact had to be faced that the

Newsletter had run out of money and support to continue in its present form.

The name „KIT Newsletter‟: More recent leavers from the Bruderhof

are either hesitant, or outright refuse, to be associated with „KIT‟. This is because KIT has been, and still is demonized by the Bruderhof, in spite of some



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of us repeatedly pointing out to individuals within the Bruderhof that KIT

participants are a disparate group of individuals with a wide range of responses to their earlier experiences, and that the KIT Newsletter aired the differing

views. Many of the earlier leavers (late 1950‟s to 1980‟s) feel that any dropping of the name would be tantamount to giving in to Bruderhof pressures. However, there were mixed feelings, even among this age group, as to the importance,

however good, of any name. Bruderhof leaders appear to have had considerable success in vilifying the reality

of the healing of "Keep in Touch", the KIT Newsletter and the ex-Bruderhofers‟ many gatherings that have taken place over the decades, to the extent that. even now, many later leavers have great hesitation in dealing with anything

tagged with the "Keep in Touch" label. However objectively neutral it is, however appropriate to what ex-Bruderhofers are doing in the face of explicit instruction

upon leaving NOT to get in touch with others who have left, the label KIT has connotations for those on the receiving end of such conditioning. They find it difficult and sometimes impossible to overcome.

The general consensus was that, since the word KIT conveys to younger leavers what the Bruderhof wants it to convey, and not what we ex-Bruderhofers intend

it to convey, then it is time to let it go as a vehicle for a Newsletter or gathering. The Chair stressed that the meeting was not a „decision making‟ body, however.

Communication amongst leavers: The objective is to improving

communication between all leavers, both early and more recent Bruderhof leavers. Most people who have been receiving the KIT Newsletter get it electronically. More recent (and generally younger) people have not subscribed.

They have emerged au fait with rapid and interactive electronic communication and generally are finding each other through on-line networks. These are now

extensively used by more recent leavers and older people are also getting involved with them on these new media, as well as some having a confidential yahoo group of their making. However, it was acknowledged that electronic

media is very problematic for some older leavers. Options on managing this trend for them were considered at the meeting.

Future: 1. Hummer is a confidential, restricted access Yahoo Group that has

existed for some years and its members are mainly ex-Bruderhofers

from the 1950‟s, 60‟s and 70‟s, but any former Bruderhofer is welcome to apply to join it.

2. Smile and Wave. There is a recently created „Secret Group‟ on

www.facebook.com "Smile and Wave" which has grown exponentially and has 222 active participants of recent and long

time Bruderhof leavers, at the time of going to press. This group is very lively and dynamic and explores a wide range of subjects,

initiated by any member. It appears to have brought more leavers out of the shadows, to the benefit of all. Those interested in joining

can request to do so or be nominated by someone they know who is already a member. Its discussions are confidential.

http://www.facebook.com/



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3. Public Forum: The meeting consensus was that there is a need for

a public forum, to inform people thinking of joining the Bruderhof, to reach Bruderhof members themselves, and to help academics.

While the meeting was taking place, Paul Newton created a new electronic meeting place on Facebook called "Afterhof", open to

the public, NOT CONFIDENTIAL, where participants can discuss any theme or post their stories or other articles of interest relating

to the Bruderhof, past and present. By midnight it had 22 members

and is now 161 members strong. Paul had already created a website intended to give considered information to assist Bruderhof

leavers and we hope that the discussions freely held between people who have had a wide range of experience adjusting to the

„normal‟ world over decades can feed into this website. The Facebook site Afterhof is the closest thing to mirroring what the KIT

Newsletter was for earlier leavers, a platform to publicise their experiences to the world. (More details in the next pages).There is

opportunity on Afterhof to archive writings and also to draw threads together and publish them on www.Afterhof.com Individuals can

copy anything from Afterhof and distribute it in printed form to interested friends who may not be on Facebook. This is not the case

for either Hummer or Smile and Wave exchanges.

Summing Up:

1. KIT Newsletter There was no consensus to continue with the KIT Newsletter. No-one chased subscriptions at the Friendly Crossways

gathering and there is only just enough KIT funds to mail out this update. For the time being at least, there will not be another KIT

Newsletter as such. Who knows what may emerge in the future? So we celebrate a quarter century of it serving its purpose well and

paving the way for a shift to new media and approaches.

2. Internet groups and Public Access forums: We yield to other means of communication among leavers. We are delighted there is

such vibrant, dynamic and useful interaction and that we readers of

KIT Newsletter will be able to access some of it.

3. The Spirit of „Keep in Touch‟ - KIT - will move on into a future in

which Bruderhof leavers continue to network, and, by whatever

name, or no name, still continue to keep alive the "Keep in Touch" spirit, along with the kindred notion of our unofficial anthem,

"Die Gedanken sind Frei"! (Our thoughts are free!)

http://www.afterhof.com/



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4. Address and Email lists updates will still be sent out from time

to time, electronically, so please ensure you know who of your contacts needs paper versions and take responsibility to send them

printouts. Keep your own and their contact information updated!

5. Announcements of Bruderhof Leaver gatherings will be sent out to the up to date email list maintained by KIT volunteers, (see

contact details on last page) as well as being posted on the various electronic group sites and the website www.Afterhof.com, when not

confidential. Make sure you keep us informed of your up to date email address! And share this information, also, with your friends

who can‟t access it without printouts.

6. Gatherings – We will continue activity to promote staying in touch,

such as leavers‟ gatherings, e.g. at Friendly Crossways, Bulstrode, Klaashof, Titterstone and ….TOUCAN, next June‟s planned

gathering in England. (More details in the next pages.) We hope those of you who are conditioned to be wary of KIT will still join us

there and will organise your own gatherings and even invite us to them! The oldies don‟t bite!!! We were „you‟ once. Please don‟t let

the Bruderhof stop you getting in touch, Keeping in Touch, enjoying wider support.

The KIT Newsletter will not be forgotten. The archives are a testimony

and a treasure trove to our common history. These can be accessed by

anyone at anytime on line. Open archive - KITexBruderhofCCI

From a 'more recent leaver' - upon his second attendance at a Friendly Crossways gathering

I am going to tell a little story.

I enjoyed attending the gathering at Friendly Crossways again this

weekend. For those who don't know, this was one of many get togethers

that have occurred over the years in various countries for anyone who

used to live on the hofs. It is the physical manifestation of connecting

with old exie friends. Before Facebook, people had to do a lot of work to

find each other. We quickly take for granted how easy it is to find others

with our background now. Several decades ago it was more challenging.

Once they found each other they wanted to stay connected so they had

an old fashioned paper publication and took turns writing their stories and


http://www.scribd.com/KITexBruderhofCCI/



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sharing memories and new experiences and mailing them and later

emailing them to the list they had collected. These people then started

arranging meetings and a common location in the States was at Friendly

Crossways, a retreat outside Boston. They named their publication

appropriately "Keep in Touch" which they thought aptly described what

they were trying to do. They, like us, find comfort and connection with

people who have grown up on the hof.

This diverse collection of souls had wide ranging interests related to their

common heritage. Some were angry about how the hof had treated

people. Some just wanted to get together and play recorder and sing the

old songs. Some wanted to change the hof and some just wanted to hear

each other's stories.

Of course the hof has never wanted any of us to meet each other and has

planted in our heads that it will only bring about negative things. They

have discouraged this sort of thing even before KIT and certainly would

have been happy if SWC hadn't happened either. However it started, the

hof and some of the people who happened to get the Newsletter and

some who were organizers of the Newsletter got into a variety of shoving

matches. The hof labeled all the people who got the Newsletter as bad

and punished anyone who had anything to do with any of those people.

And they told all of us to stay away from "KIT". The name was demonized

and remains toxic to many of us even though we should know better. The

reason the fear is so powerful is that we value our connection to our

family members on the hof more highly than they value their connection

to us. They are willing to use that relationship as a weapon to defend

themselves from written criticism because they have no experience

dealing with criticism. They have removed it from their lives.

While the interest in meeting with each other persists, the value of a

printed Newsletter has faded. And social media and other internet

connections have taken off as a much more immediate and vibrant way to

connect.

With that as background we had some interesting discussions this

weekend and the consensus, though thankfully not unanimous, was that if

people want to stay connected they need to go where the connections are

happening. To that end, it appears that the original Newsletter "KIT" and



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the name itself will be relegated to history. The true intent of the people

who were involved in it, reconnecting with old friends, lives on in a variety

of forums including this one and smaller groups on FB as well as a variety

of email groups.

One of the functions that KIT served was archiving a great many stories

mostly of the early hof years and those can be found here:

http://www.perefound.org/home2.html

Later ones and other articles here: KITexBruderhofCCI

On this forum there are also many valuable stories that hopefully will be

kept here for decades to come. FB don't fail us! SWC works so well

because it is a private group but because of that we can't take these

discussions and archive them elsewhere.

Also, this forum doesn't fulfil the need to provide information to more

recent leavers or outside people looking for a different perspective on the

hof. SWC intends to have a membership of people who seem unlikely to

return to the hof. To help fill this need some of us have started Afterhof

an open FB group where anyone can post and comment, and the read

only Afterhof.com where selected information can be posted by the admin

for recent leavers to easily find it. Our main goal there is to help leavers

make good choices and get through the difficult transition with the least

amount of pain.

This post was long and there is a lot here. I look forward to questions,

opposing viewpoints and filling in the gaps of my limited knowledge.

Afterhof

afterhof.com

Afterhof.com

There are currently two main groups on Facebook with active discussions.

"Smile and wave committee" (just type that exact phrase into the

search bar at the top of the Facebook page) is a PRIVATE group where

more personal discussions take place. You can request to be in the group

and a panel of administrators will make the decision. Primarily they are

just trying to limit the chance that you will share the information found

there with the hof. We realize that privacy can not be completely assured

http://www.perefound.org/home2.html


http://afterhof.com/

http://afterhof.com/




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and have posted that fact to the group. Smile and Wave has many

discussions covering a wide range of interests from Paraguay to songs, to

thoughts about dialect, etc. There are around a hundred threads with

thousands of comments. You can start your own thread by clicking "post"

or "photo" at the top. There are about 220 people currently following

these conversations. Because this is a private group, the conversations

can not be archived anywhere but where they are, on Facebook. One

could make the argument that Smile and Wave most closely serves the

purpose of the connecting and archiving stories element of KIT.

"Afterhof" is a PUBLIC Facebook group but you still have to ask to join

though anyone can add and approve members so anyone will be allowed

in even JCA. Once you are a member you can add your own FB friends if

you want to.

If you search "Afterhof" you will see two results. Click on the one with

the silhouette of two people in a square. This is for the group. The other

one is for the website which is just getting started. Afterhof has less

vigorous discussions because it is more public. The primary purpose of

Afterhof is to provide information to new leavers of the hof but it also

functions as a source of information to people wondering about the

Bruderhof so anything can be posted there as long as it is respectful. To

whatever extent people are willing to post publicly about their experiences

on and after the hof, Afterhof will serve part of the KIT mission of

providing information to the public. It would be perfectly acceptable to

repost articles that have been in KIT in the past. Putting a few

paragraphs in the main post along with a link to the rest of the article on

the web, may be best. Few people will click on a post that only contains a

link.

We have found that some element of privacy is needed for real open

discussion. In fact there are some even more secret FB groups where

things get more interesting. Read and post in both and see what you

think.

Hope to see you online!

Paul



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Comment – by Linda Jackson:

I‟m not surprised so many people prefer this way of communicating

- You can say what you want to say without interruption

- You can take your time and make sure you express yourself

correctly

- You get instant response and replies

- You can add photos to share quickly and easily

If you do not have a computer, why not visit the library and have a go?

Or contact a younger relative, and ask them to help,

Or if you really can‟t manage that, ask a friend, eg someone in the

address list, to print out and share interesting submissions with you now

and then, if you offer to pay the postage, it shouldn‟t be too much of a

problem.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roger Allain‟s book:

„The Community that Failed‟

In the last mailing, I asked for

support in funding a reprint of

Roger Allain‟s book. I am a little

disappointed in the response to this

request. We have two commitments

of £50.00 each. We need just 4

more. Anyone contributing £50.00

would also receive a copy of the

book as part of the deal.

It seems possible that we can find a

publisher that does not require the

annual £10.00. So once done,

anyone could order a copy at any

time.

Please contact me at:

[email protected]

Linda Jackson

THE

COMMUNITY

THAT

FAILED

BY

ROGER

ALLAIN Former Bruderhof Servant of the Word

Society of Brothers, South America

mailto:[email protected]



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“Toucan 2016”. Reunion in England September 7, 2015

Hello dear Friend, This is just a reminder that the end of September deadline for sending in your reservation for our TOUCAN 2016 Meeting (formerly KITgathering) is fast approaching. If by then we can get just 34 bookings, we guarantee sole occupancy of beautiful Abingworth Hall in the South Downs of England. But please also remember that should we not achieve this booking goal, the meeting still goes ahead, though we will have to share Abingworth with other guests, plus anyone who wishes to book later may risk there being no more vacancies ! So do please send us your reservation quickly. Also, you can now pay your reservation deposit of £75.00 by direct transfer into our own dedicated UK account at the Cooperative Bank, which is:

Account name: TOUCAN 2016 Sort code: 089299 Account number: 65768659

Until next time E, M + L

For more information please contact us at: [email protected] Damaris Vigar, 84c The Broadway, Stourbridge, DY8 3HT, UK

USA/Canada deposit of $120 Cash or Check payable to “Tim Johnson”

[email protected] +1-404-373-0633 155 Garden Lane, Decatur, GA 30030, USA.

Euro Zone deposit of €110 payable to “Anthony Lord”

+49(0)21 57 3109 [email protected] Johann-Finken-Str. 35, 41334 Nettetal, GERMANY. Bank transfer: VOBA KREFELD. Ref: “Toucan” and your name IBAN: DE66 3206 0362 2201 0520 10 BIC: GENODED1HTK.

NEWS FLASH: TOUCAN 2016 We have talked to the venue and have managed to get an extension to the deadline. We are getting close, and if we can get just those few more members booked by the last week in October we will be able to have sole occupancy. We hope this will help those of you still undecided ... Remember the price is full board, with picnic lunch so we can go out or not, as we wish. Help us make it a memorable weekend.






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Corrections to the public address list

Allan Herring [email protected]

Charles Lamar 415 235 3623

Barnabas Johnson (207) 749 2266

Susanna Alves no "M."

Hannah Lacy: add “Daughter of Ursula Boller”

Deb Herman remove phone number

Please inform Margot of any address changes, or any additional names

that want to be added. We will keep the list updated, and distribute by email every so often, to all email addresses on the list.

Make sure we have your email address if you want to receive these

updates.

If you do not want your email address on the public address list, let us know, it will be stored in a confidential list. You would then receive

updates, but your details would not be shared. Please send us your email address, clearly labelled as „confidential‟.

If you do not have an email address, Why not ask a relative or friend to

receive updates and print them for you.

Corrections: send any amendments to: Margot (Wegner) Purcell

2095 South Emmas Lane, La Porte, IN 46350, USA home 219-324-8068

[email protected]





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Contact Us

Linda Jackson - Email Circulation of Address List . [email protected]

+44(0)1772-784473 or (mobile) +44(0)7703-133369

7 Severn Street, Longridge, Lancashire, PR3 3ND, UK.

Margot Purcell - Address Lists. +1-219-324-8068 [email protected]

2095 South Emmas Lane, LaPorte, IN 46350, USA.

Deposits & Payments for Events:

The avenue for payment via the accounts below, eg. for up coming events, are still open.

Depending on which currency you use:

¬ North America: US$, Cash or Check payable to “Tim Johnson” [email protected]

+1-404-373-0633 155 Garden Lane, Decatur, GA 30030, USA.

¬ Europe (Euro Zone Euro€ only): Bank Transfer or Eurocheque payable to “Anthony Lord”

+49(0)21 57 3109 [email protected]

Johann-Finken-Str. 35, 41334 Nettetal, GERMANY.

Bank transfer: VOBA KREFELD. Ref: “KIT” !New! Euro€ only please.

IBAN: DE66 3206 0362 2201 0520 10 BIC: GENODED1HTK.

from other countries: !New! See UK£ for other currencies.

¬ UK£: PayPal, Bank Transfer or Cheque payable to “Raphael Vowles” Reading, Berks, UK

+44(0)777 391 0044 [email protected] Bank transfer: Sort code: 40-47-58 Account: 85757290

First Direct Bank, 40 Wakefield Road, Leeds, LS98 1FD, UK.

¬ From other countries: Currency converted to UK£ can be deposited in to the account using:

IBAN: GB75MIDL 404758 8575 7290 BIC: MIDLGB2172O (field 57) or

Swift Code: MIDLGB22XXX HSBC International (First Direct) (field 56)

Resources:

Scribd: Open archive - KITexBruderhofCCI Anyone can view - it’s free, anonymous & easy.

Yahoo: KIT-exBruderhof-CCI A members only archive.

Address Correction: Please advise Margot Purcell. ©see UCC Geneva 1952










https://www.paypal.co.uk/uk




http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KIT-exBruderhof-CCI/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Copyright_Convention

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