November 2013 Metro Christian Living

FREENOVEMBER 2013

GriefShare’sSurviving the Holidays

Timeless Fall Desserts

2 NOVEMBER 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

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Volume 8, Number 5

contents NOVEMBER 2013

features26 Joey Garner

A Leading Lady

columns8 The Way I See It

The Life of Purpose Is the Present

11 Living My Call Remember the Valiant

12 Salt & Light GriefShare—Surviving the Holidays

14 Modern Motherhood Lessons from My Baby Girl

16 Let’s Talk It Over The Art of Thanksgiving

18 All in the Family Anger—The Best Speech You’ll Ever Regret

20 Chewed Petunias Moving Forward in Faith

22 Food For Thought Timeless Fall Desserts

24 Education Connection Living with Dyslexia—There Is Hope!

34 This Is My Story Fear, Faith, and Thanksgiving

36 Single Still, Single Again Is Forgiveness Necessary?

38 Fresh Finds Fall Finds

42 The Doctor Is In The Pill Problem

44 Sports VictoriesClint Johnson—AthleticDirector for JPS

42 Legal Advice A Living Trust or A Will?

in every issue6 Editor’s Letter

48 Rave Reviews49 Event Calendar50 Quips & Quotes50 Advertiser Index

22

8

Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc.,Member, M.I.P.A.

Editor: Marilyn [email protected]

Associate Editor: Suzanne Tanner Durfey

Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff

SalesMarilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens,

Suzanne Tanner Durfey

Contributing WritersLydia Bolen, Dr. John L. Cox, William B.

Howell, Amy Ingram, Courtney GrayLayson, Carey Miller, Robin O’Bryant,

Tricia Raymond, Susan E. Richardson, KateSistrunk, Suzanne Stambouleigh, Martin E.

Willoughby, Jr., Robert Wilson

Cover PhotographyRick Guy Photography

Distribution AssistantsLaura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Bob Whatley, Amanda Weems

Metro Christian Living573 Highway 51 North, Suite C

Ridgeland, MS 39157Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-790-9078

www.metrochristianliving.com

Metro Christian Living is committed toencouraging individuals in their daily livesby presenting the faith stories of others andby providing information that will pointevery person, at every stage of life, to adeeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ.Views expressed in Metro Christian Livingdo not necessarily represent those of thepublisher. Every effort has been made bythe Metro Christian Living staff to insureaccuracy of the publication contents.However, we do not guarantee theaccuracy of all information nor the absenceof errors and omissions; hence, noresponsibility can be or is assumed. AllRights Reserved. Copyright 2013 by MetroChristian Living, Inc.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NewInternational Version, copyright 1973, 1978,1984 by International Bible Society. Used bypermission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthlyand is available at high traffic locationsthroughout the metropolitan area. Copiesare also available by subscription, $29 forone year. Single issues available for $3 anissue.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address toMetro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157.

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Family vacation at Yellowstone in 2011.

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2013 Singing Christmas TreeDecember 6th & 7th - 7:30 pm

Iam on a homeward bound flight from Los Angeles as I try to corral myThanksgiving thoughts for this November issue. Having just spent a week with mydaughter Betsy and her 8-month-old ray of sunshine, Marilyn Wilton Bailey, naming my blessings is

quite easy at the moment. I can hardly believe how quickly this year has flown. It was a little more thana year ago we cut into a mystery cake at Jason and Betsy’s “Reveal” party to discover pink icing. Itwasn’t long after that we began referring to this yet-to-be-born baby girl as Mari Wilton, so, she wasvery much an individual to all of us even before she made her appearance on February 14.

We have had quite a week together strolling around in the California sunshine, playing sillygames that cause giggles and squeals as she makes each new discovery. Whether it is watching abird pick at the crumbs she drops while eating on the patio, or studying her image in the full-lengthmirror and patting it with great delight because she thinks she has a playmate just her size, she isjust fun. Studying her perfect little fingers, nose, and the numerous folds in her chubby legs doesmake my heart melt with love, gratitude, and awe for our Creator God. In a world where there ismuch amiss, there is still much joy to be found in God’s gifts to us. As David said in the Twenty-Third Psalm, “My cup runneth over.”

There is plenty of Thanksgiving inspiration here. Our cover story on Joey Fail Garner will introduceyou to a multi-talented and very warm lady, who loves her heavenly Father and who approaches everyday with a keen and intentional attitude of gratitude. She is also the most humble person I have evermet. I had to call friends, family, and co-workers to get the scoop on her. She is a generous lady whodoes not tout her accomplishments.

One of my favorite things about this issue is that all of our stories are not Pollyanna-style fairytales.There are undoubtedly opportunities to know God in more intimate ways in the middle of our tougheststruggles. Several of our contributors have shared such stories. If you have ever found yourselfconfronting a situation that elicits fear over circumstances beyond your control, do read Courtney GrayLayson’s “This is my Story.” It seems the “C” word (cancer) is one of the big faith testers many of ushave grappled with. She has found God’s grace sufficient in the middle of the anxiety that rears its headwith every routine scan, and she counts the blessings that have come with the territory. TriciaRaymond’s “Living my Call” tells the story of a brave soldier, and I warn you to have your Kleenexhandy. It is a story that reminds us of the selfless heroism of those in harm’s way who count it a blessingto serve their country.

One of the greatest blessings of the redeemed heart is the certain faith that nothing touches us thata loving God has not allowed, and that there is no hard thing He puts before us intending that we walkthe road alone. Even as we cope with the interruptions of our best laid plans, big and smalldisappointments, and the losses that come our way in this uncertain world, He offers up more than justplatitudes or empty promises. He is Emmanuel, God with us. That is a good thing to remember atThanksgiving and every day God gives us breath. Y


editor’s letter

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and [email protected]

➺

❝ Every good andperfect gift is fromabove comingdown from thefather of heavenlylights who does notchange like shiftingshadows.❞– James 1:17

The Harbingerby Jonathan Cahn

This is a compelling andcontroversial work offiction, but carries aworthy message,“Return.” The author, aMessianic Jew, drawsparallels between God’sjudgment on the nation ofIsrael and America’splethora of recentcatastrophes from 9/11/2001 until thepresent. A page-turner. “Those who can’tremember the past are doomed to repeat it.”

Holidays and Holy Daysby Susan E. Richardson

Our own Susan Richardson,MCL’s book reviewer, hascompiled this reference bookthat every schoolteacher andmama wants to have in his orher library. Better than theInternet for a concise andcorrect explanation of whereour holidays originate. A greatway to be sure the culture does not obliteratethe significance of just about every holidayyou ever heard of—and some you haven’t!Available at Lifeway, Persnickety, and Amazon.

What to do, ‘till “I DO” by BJ Swafford

Kosciusko friend, BJSwafford has writtenthe perfect handbookfor any bride andmother of the bridewho needs a practicalbook on weddingplanning. The absolutebest one I have everseen—especially if youare a Southerner! Available at Lemuria Books and Lifeway

From Marilyn’s Bookshelf

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and [email protected]

Count Your Blessings—Name Them One by One


Martin E. Willoughby, Jr,. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler SnowAdvisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife, Nicki,have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Memphis, Tennessee.

question this path and wondered if there was abetter way. In addition, I was getting older. I hadseveral family members who died young, and Istarted to question this “deferred life” program Iwas on. It no longer became acceptable to waituntil “Some Day” to live the life of mission andpurpose I craved in my heart. I have made manymistakes along this journey, but I have tried mybest to get off the deferred life program.

I am afraid that the myth of the deferred lifeprogram is alive and well in our society.However, Scripture tells us that we are notguaranteed tomorrow (James 4:14). While wedon’t need to be foolish, we need to realize thatGod has given us the present. How will we liveit? Will we be people of purpose, faith, andcharacter today? Or, will we postpone that life to“One Day?” While he was not a follower of

Christ, Apple founder Steve Jobs wisely noted in aspeech at Stanford that, “Death is very likely thesingle best invention of Life. It is Life’s changeagent.” He went on to remind them, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

In my executive coaching practice, I oftenspend time considering with my clients what theirtrue goals and ambitions are in life. To do that,you have to ask the hard questions. It can beuncomfortable, but it is also liberating. Perhaps

you could consider today whether you are on the deferred lifeprogram. What things are you hoping to accomplish “Some Day?”Perhaps today is the day to start working on making that “Some Day” areality today! Y

Over the years, I like tosurvey my kids on what theywant to do when they grow

up. As you might imagine, I have heard manyof the normal responses—fireman, policeman,teacher, doctor, etc. What is interesting to me isthat most children when asked the samequestion have the same sort of response. Whilethere are certainly exceptions, including being aprofessional athlete (which my son Trey isconvinced he is going to be), the type jobs theydescribe are usually service oriented. I believewhen we are growing up we have hopes anddreams of having a life of purpose. I don’t recallever hearing a child say his or her goal in lifewas to make a bunch of money and accumulatestuff. As we get older, the realities of life set inand dreams are usually set aside to pursue morepragmatic paths.

Rick Warren’s mega bestseller, A PurposeDrive Life, struck a chord when it was firstpublished in 2002. Over 30 million copies weresold, and he reminded us why we are here. Notto be served, but to serve. I know very fewpeople who truly have joy and peace in theirlife that live self-centeredly. Our flesh wants tobe self-centered and it is certainly encouragedby our culture. We are tempted to spend all ofour time and money improving the status ofour looks, transportation, housing, and travel. While these can all begood things, it is such a challenge to not let them take over the focusand purpose of our lives.

Having lived through financial hardship when our family businesswent under when I was in high school, I became very focused as Ibegan my career on seeking money and financial security. I still haddreams and ambitions, but they lay dormant while I chased theseworldly ambitions. When I became follower of Christ, I started to

➺the way i see itby MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

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The Life of Purpose Is the Present

I am afraid that the myth of the deferred life program

is alive and well in oursociety. However, scripture

tells us that we are notguaranteed tomorrow.

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FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Christmas shopping leaves no time for painful feet. If your fi rst few steps every morning cause you severe heel pain, you could have a condition called plantar fasciitis. Join orthopedic surgeon Jamey Burrow, MD, to fi nd out how to treat this at home, how to prevent it from coming back, and when to see a doctor. $7 optional lunchNovember 4, 11:45 AM

Baptist Madison Campus

Community Room

LUNG CANCER SCREENING

AND PREVENTION

If you are at risk for lung cancer, especially if you smoke or live with someone who does, come to this seminar with thoracic surgeon Michael Koury, MD, to fi nd out about screening and prevention. $7 optional lunchNovember 6, 11:45 AM

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If you suff er from both gastroesophageal refl ux disease (GERD) and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), heartburn and stomach pains are painfully familiar conditions. Join gastroenterologist Shirley Donelson, MD, as she addresses issues of and treatment options for both. $7 optional lunchNovember 12, 11:45 AM

Baptist for Women Conference Room

STROKE SUPPORT GROUP

Hosted by Baptist Neuroscience ServicesNovember 12, 1:00 PM

Baptist Cardiovascular Center, 3rd Floor

FINDING COMFORT AND JOY:

CANCER TREATMENT AND THE HOLIDAYS

Cancer treatment can be challenging at any time, but if we’re honest, it can feel worse during the holidays. Bring your loved ones and join Hederman Cancer Center psychologist Bufkin Moore, Psy.D., for a roundtable discussion to discover ways to make the most of the season. $7 optional lunchNovember 13, 11:45 AM

Hederman Cancer Center

DIABETES SUPPORT GROUP

Hosted by Baptist Nutrition & Bariatric Center, FREENovember 18, 1:00 PM

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November 21, 1:00 PM

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HEALTH SOURCENOVEMBER | 2013

Register online at www.mbhs.org or call the Baptist Health Line at 601-948-6262 or 800-948-6262.

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metrochristianliving.com ❘ NOVEMBER 2013 11

Tricia Raymond is a speaker and authorwhose presentations focus on faith,freedom, and the special role that womenplay in God’s Kingdom. She is also theFounder of www.LibertyAloud.com, anonline advocacy site that focuses ondefending religious freedom. Tricia is available forbooking through Creative Partners Speakers Bureau 601.454.6503.

On October 6, 2013, 24-year-old Cpl.Josh Hargis, a member of the 3rdArmy Ranger Battalion, was with hisunit searching for a “high valuetarget” at a home in the Panjwaidistrict of Afghanistan. Thirty-six Rangersand a canine unit were dispatched on themission. Upon approaching the home, theycalled out for the occupants to exit. A manappeared, dropped to his knees, and lifted hisshirt to show that he was not wired withexplosives. As the troops approached the manfor questioning, an Afghan woman suddenlyappeared at the door. She was wired.

Several members of the unit were killedinstantly, including the dog. But, the meleewas not over. As combat medics, explosivesexperts, and other members moved in to offeraid and assistance, 13 additional explosiveswere tripped. Cpl. Hargis was among thosewho were severely wounded.

Fellow soldiers kept him alive for roughlytwo hours before he could be transported tothe hospital.

Lying in a hospital bed after surgery, Cpl.Hargis’s commanding officer officiated themilitary ceremony to award him the PurpleHeart for “wounds received in action.” Hargiswas covered by a red, white, and blue blanket,most likely hand sewn by a volunteer withBlankets of Hope, a charity that supplies combatsupport hospitals in war zones with blankets forwounded soldiers. It is a simple gesture toassure soldiers that someone back homeremembers them and is praying for them.

Hargis, a graduate of Gilbert Dater HighSchool in Cincinnati, had just gotten out ofsurgery and was hooked up to a myriad ofmedical tubes and devices. Both legs had to beamputated, but he was alive. Doctors, nurses,brothers in arms, and military officers—a

crowd of roughly 50 people—stood around hisbed while the Ranger Regimental Commanderproceeded to pin the medal on Hargis’sblanket. Everyone thought Cpl. Hargis wasstill unconscious.

But, as the officer proceeded to read thecommendation, Cpl. Hargis began lifting hisright arm in salute. It’s military protocol, you know.

One of the doctors tried to restrain him. But,Hargis, despite pain, heavy bandaging, andemotional trauma, fought back and managed toget his hand to his forehead. The commandingofficer later wrote Hargis’s wife that herhusband’s action brought even the men, battle-hardened warriors, to tears. Someone snapped apicture. The story went viral.

Taylor, Josh’s wife, posted the commander’sletter on her Facebook page along with thepicture. “I cannot impart to you the level ofemotion that poured through the intensivecare unit that day. Grown men began to weepand we were speechless at a gesture thatspeaks volumes about Josh’s courage andcharacter. The picture, which we believebelongs on every news channel and everynewspaper, is attached. I have it hangingabove my desk now and will remember it asthe single greatest event I have witnessed inmy 10 years in the Army.”

No doubt the war in Afghanistan is notwhat most Americans think of as we go aboutour day-to-day activities. I know I don’t.Paying the bills, getting the garage cleanedout, cheering on our favorite football teams,shopping for the holidays—these are the typesof things that occupy our time. And, certainly,as Americans, we are immeasurably blessed tolive in a country where acts of terrorism arestill the exception, rather than the norm.

But, maybe it’s time we give more thought

Remember the Valiant

to the young men and women still serving ournation on the other side of the globe. Andevery other Veteran who has served so nobly.

At this writing, there have been 2,287American soldiers killed in Afghanistan.Countless others have been wounded. You cansee the names of those who gave the ultimatesacrifice by going tohttp://icasualties.org/OEF/Fatalities.aspx.Most are in their 20s. Unless you know themor read their hometown paper, you wouldnever know of their sacrifice. The nationalnews outlets no longer report war casualties,except as a blurb on the rolling bar at thebottom of the screen. We only know of Josh’sunit because of his inspiring salute.

This Veteran’s Day, let’s all find a way todemonstrate gratitude to the men and womenwho have sacrificed and are sacrificing somuch to protect our freedom and way of life.Send a note. Send a donation to the USO. Getyour Sunday School to adopt a soldier. Offer aword of encouragement to a soldier’s family.Say a prayer.

There are thousands of Cpl. Hargis’ outthere. And thousands more who fought inother foreign lands—Korea, Vietnam,Normandy, the Philippines, just to name afew. They deserve to know we appreciate theirsacrifice. It’s the least we can do. Y

➺living my callby TRICIA RAYMOND


➺salt & lightby MARILYN TINNIN

Surviving the Holidays

Love, laughter, and good times—all part ofthe holiday season. From the first thought of aThanksgiving turkey right through the New Year’s Eve “Auld

Lang Syne,” we are conditioned to expect happiness. But thereality for many is quite the opposite. For those who aregrieving the loss of someone close to them, holidayscan only amplify their heartache. There is nostatute of limitations on grief. Years may pass,and for ten months of the year one functionsfine, but the memories that just naturallyarrive with the holiday festivities can throwsomeone into a deep sadness.

GriefShare is an international ministry thatprovides support to people in the localcommunity who are grieving the death of aloved one. Cindy Namanny heads a GriefSharegroup that meets weekly at Our RedeemerLutheran Church at 1799 Clinton Raymond Roadin Clinton. Anyone can join the group at any time,but there is a special one-night event in Novembercalled “Surviving the Holidays”. It is designed just for thosewho are dealing with grief this holiday season. The seminar consists ofa 40-minute video with practical tips, an opportunity to hear fromothers who are also dealing with personal grief, an opportunity toshare or not to share your own experience, and a Holiday SurvivalGuide that will take you through the next weeks.

Cindy says, “The death of a loved one impacts one’s earthly life

forever. We learn to walk with our grief, not to stop it. We learn tomove forward in our living without our loved one. This is a painfulprocess and varies from individual to individual.” In her own life

journey, she says the loss of a child and the loss of her parentswill always involve a degree of pain from time to time, but

“the tears are fewer, the smiles come easier and aremore frequent, and I can do things in their name

and honor.” GriefShare definitely prevents thegrief from “ambushing” her.

Vickie Giles is one regular attendee in thegroup that meets at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdayevenings. She and her brother, who had beentheir mother’s caregivers, felt the loss soprofoundly after her death in July that Vickiebegan looking for some resource to help her

work through her grief. “It was just the help Ineeded. Everything is scripture-based and I am

so comforted by this group.” This is a very close and supportive circle of new

friends, but not a group pity party by any means. Cindysays, “The dynamic that bonds the participants in Grief Share

is the fact that they will never see their loved one again on this side ofheaven. We also stress the importance of a relationship with JesusChrist as the foundation to personal healing from grief.”

If you are interested in Grief Share, call Cindy Namanny at601.924.9999 or visit GriefShare.org to find a group near you. Thereare many groups throughout our state. Y

There is no statue oflimitations on grief.Years maypass, and for ten months of theyear one functions fine, but the

memories that just naturallyarrive with the holiday

festivities can throw someoneinto a deep sadness.

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➺modern motherhoodby ROBIN O’BRYANT

Lessons from My Baby Girl

Sadie, my four-year-old imp, is a ballof energy. She has a mop of white blondhair that is constantly hanging in her face,

and a gift for knowing exactly which buttonsto push to make her older sisters screamlike they’ve been set on fire. I’d say it’sone of the many gifts of being theyoungest, but my youngest sister wasGod’s gift to my mother—I guess Hefelt obligated to do something nice forher after she had me.

Regardless of how completelyinsane Sadie can make her sistersAubrey and Emma, they still dote onher. Emma enjoys having a playmate tobe in charge of, play dolls and makebelieve with and Aubrey will sit and readto Sadie for as long as she’ll sit still. (Notthat long.)

Sadie has a few catchphrases: “Benemberda time…” she’ll say, meaning, “Rememberthe time…” and fill in the blank with somewild story that may or may not haveactually happened.

But my personal favorite is, “If you wantto know why I’m (fill in the blank here)—justask!” Sadie says this at least 15 times a day. “If youwant to know why I’m taking the cheese off mysammich— just ask!”

“If you want to know why I’m putting my bathing suit on—just ask!” “If you want to know why I’m brushing my teeth (on the swing)—

just ask!” It’s become a sort of family inside joke, as soon as she finishes her

sentence the whole family will respond in unison and with exaggeratedinterest, “Sadie, why are you taking the cheese off your sandwich?”

“Sadie, why are you putting your bathing suit on?”

Robin O’Bryant is mother to three daughters, wife to one husband,and The New York Times best-selling author of Ketchup Is AVegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. She shares thedrama and hilarity of motherhood in her syndicated family humorcolumn, “Robin’s Chicks” and on her blog by the same name,robinschicks.com.

“Sadie, why are you brushing your teeth?” She grins that impish grin, showing off her tiny

little teeth and the dimples in her cheeks and onher chin. She derives great pleasure from our

asking, even when she knows we are onlydoing it because she told us to.

It struck me the other evening, as Iasked her rote question after rotequestion, almost repeating after her andshe rattled off her lists of “If you want toknow—just ask,” that God must feel thesame way.

He’s told us, if anyone lackswisdom—just ask. Need peace?

Just ask. Sick and barely holding on?

Just ask. My mind was running wild as I

realized that just like Sadie, Goddoesn’t even care WHY we areasking. It doesn’t matter if we aredoing it because He told us to,because we’re bored, or because

we are totally out of other options—He derives joy out of our askingHim and depending on Him todeliver the answer.

You don’t even have to feignenthusiasm—just ask. Y

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Suzanne Stambouleigh is a therapistfor Summit Counseling. Suzannecurrently resides in Madison with herhusband Stephen and daughterScarlett. She can be contacted [email protected]


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The Art of ThanksgivingAs Thanksgiving approaches, weare often appropriately remindedto be thankful. When things are goingsmoothly in life, being thankful is easy. But, let’sface it, life can be hard and being thankful cansometimes be a challengingtask. Sometimes, we canfocus so much on what isgoing wrong in our lives thatwe lose sight of the manyblessings God has given us!

What does God say aboutbeing thankful? He tells usto “Rejoice always, praywithout ceasing, ineverything give thanks; forthis is the will of God inChrist Jesus for you,” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV).

How can we rejoicealways when we are facing atrial in life? Well, rejoicing—or expressing joy—isdifferent from happiness. You may not be happywith how things are in your life becausehappiness is sometimes contingent on lifecircumstances. But joy is deeper thanhappiness. Joy is not contingent on lifecircumstances, and it is unique in that it notonly comes from the Lord, but also is ourstrength (Nehemiah 8:10). And as Christians,we can be joyful despite ever-changing lifecircumstance because we know ultimately wehave God.

Secondly, God instructsus to pray without ceasing.God wants you to be inconstant communicationwith Him. He wants toknow the desires of yourheart, but moreimportantly, He desires a personal relationshipwith you. Quiet time with Him is crucialbecause this is when He often reveals things tous. Unfortunately, when we are going through alife crisis and need him most, our prayer timeoften takes a back seat for one reason oranother. Personally, I tend to analyze andwonder “why me, why now, etc.” It is easy toquestion God and His plan during thesetimes—and yes, the answers to "why" questionsmay give us a sense of peace at times—but Goddoes not always reveal these answers to us.However, we can find comfort that He alwaysreveals the "how" to us. "How can I get throughthis?" The answer is always the same—throughHim and no other way! Drawing near to God

each day and resting in the "how" can usuallyhelp us to have a clearer vision and allows us tosee the "why" that God is revealing to us.

Finally, we are instructed to give thanks ineverything. He does not say give thanks only“when things are going well in your life.” So,

how do you do this? AsChristians, regardless ofwhether we are sufferingemotionally or physically, westill have so much to bethankful for! Thankfully, weare saved by His grace(Ephesians 2:8-9) and we willspend eternal life in Heaven.And, although it may seemlike the pain is too great andyou just can’t take anymore,God says he will not give youmore than you can take (1Corinthians 10:13), and he willgive you the strength to getthrough it (Philippians 4:13).

Some practical ways to show yourthankfulness and grateful heart are to ask whatyou can do for others in an effort to give back.Giving takes the focus off you and elicits feelingsof gratitude within the giver and the recipient. Itcan also inspire others who hear about it to be thankful.

Another idea is to make it a habit each day tothank God for at least three non-material thingsin your life. I personally think the most

important thing toremember is to not compareyour life with others! Godhas great plans for you, butthey are not the same aswhat He has for someoneelse (Jeremiah 29:11).Often, comparing your

blessings to those of someone else only fostersjealousy and resentment, instead of therealization that you have truly been blessed.

Regardless of where you are in life, Iencourage you to draw near to Him and focuson the many blessings that He has bestowedupon you. You just never know how He willchange your heart or what He will reveal to youduring the process. Y

➺let’s talk it overby SUZANNE STAMBOULEIGH

How can we rejoicealways when we arefacing a trial in life?

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“Don’t have a Conniption Fit!!!”Please tell me that you knowwhat that means!! I used that

phrase with someone the other day and theydidn’t know what a conniption was!! HasJackson changed that much? Has it been thatlong? Has “conniption” gone the way of“picture show,” “pocket book,” and “Goin’ tothe Tote-Sum” as legit Jackson phraseology?!?I hope not. Nothing describes a completeangry hissy fit like the term “conniption.”

So, before you have a conniption, let’s talkabout anger. Is anger okay? Should we repressit? Express it? Do I have a “right” to be angry?Here are a couple of thoughts on our hottest emotion.

Number one, expressing our anger bypitching a (conniption) fit helps no one.People often say, “You need to get your angerout!” Well, if anger were a finite entity likeblowing your nose, maybe that would work.Blow your nose—all clear!! But unresolved

first thing you felt was fear (scared of beinglate for your interview), helplessness (unlessyou have some powers I wish I had, you can’tmake lights stay green). Get it? Most anger isabout not facing the weak feeling.

Here’s another example: You’re at a party.Your spouse tells (what they think is) a“hilarious” story about you. But that story makesyou look like a fool in front of everyone there.So what do you do when you get in the car? You

guessed it—you throw a “conniption”fit. You angrily bless them out.

“How could you tell THATstory in front of THOSE

people?” So pop quiz—ifanger was the Secondthing you felt, what wasthe first? Shame.Embarrassment. Wedon’t want to feel thosevulnerable feelings so we

become the IncredibleHulk. “Hulk not weak!!

Hulk big and angry!!” Get it?So, before we have a

conniption, we first need to behonest—with ourselves and some safe

people—that we are struggling with anger.Anger signals a problem that needs to besolved. But remember, telling someoneABOUT our anger is different from DOINGour anger to them.

Secondly, anger may signal a need to setlimits to protect ourselves from harm. Manypeople remain angry victims and never learnto have a strong NO against hurtful people.

Thirdly, most of our daily anger is anattempt to not feel something helpless orweak. As one person said, “If small thingsmake someone angry, then think how smallthat person must feel!” So good luck to youand yours!!

And yes, I did have to look up how to spell conniption. Y

Dr. John L. Cox is a clinical psychologistwho has been practicing in Jackson for25 years. He works with adults,marriages and children at Live OakPsychological Associates. You cancontact him at 601-352-7398, or at his website:www.liveoakpsych.com.

➺all in the familyby DR. JOHN L. COX

anger is infinite. You can express it all day, butwe’ll just make more!! Instead, anger is likebad breath. Breathing it enthusiastically on meis not going to help you smell any better.

Anger needs to be resolved. It’s legit to tellsomeone ABOUT your anger, but that is verydifferent from DOING your anger to him orher. You see anger is like a warning light onthe dashboard. It means that “something” iswrong—maybe with ME—and some kind ofproblem needs to be solved. Soexpressing the fact that we have ithelps begin the detective workto figure out what theproblem is. But that is verydifferent from “going off”on someone. Conniptionshelp nothing.

So is anger bad? Notat all. Sometimes angercan serve as a wonderfuladvocate for the weak.When someone has beendeeply harmed and theyfinally get angry, it means thatsomething in them is ready to startprotecting themselves. These people oftenneed to learn to turn their anger into powerfulprotective limits against a hurtful person. Forthese people anger acts as an Advocate,saying, “I need to prevent you from treatingme this way anymore.” “I need to leave theroom if you are going to berate me.” “I needto put you in time out if you continuewhining.” (Yes, whining is a form of abuse.)

For most of us, however, anger is adefense. I tell people this all the time—Angeris the Second Thing We Feel. When youfeel anger, it’s probably because you have feltanother feeling, a weaker feeling, just beforeit. If you are like me, feeling weak feelings likehelplessness, shame, sadness, etc., is not oneof your favorite pastimes. So what do we do?We conjure a big, bad scary powerful feelinglike anger to make us feel less powerless.

Think about the times you get angry:You’re late for a job interview. You’ve missedevery red light. As you top the hill, you see thelight ahead is already green, so you speed upbut just as you near it, it changes yellow. Youcurse by every saint in the calendar and bangyour steering wheel. Now, why did you dothat? Anger wasn’t the first thing you felt. The

When someone has been deeply harmed andthey finally get angry, itmeans that something in

them is ready to startprotecting themselves.

��

��

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➺chewed petuniasby SUSAN E. RICHARDSON

“Moses returned to the LORD andsaid, ‘O Lord, why have you broughttrouble upon this people? Is this whyyou sent me? Ever since I went toPharaoh to speak in your name, he hasbrought trouble upon this people, andyou have not rescued your people atall,’” (Exodus 5:22-23).

Obedience is hard enough when we can seeimmediate positive results from doing what theLord asks. What happens when we obey, butour obedience seems to make things worse?Moses had that problem when he obeyed Godand confronted Pharaoh. Not only did Pharaohnot listen, but he also forced the Israelites tomake bricks without straw.

Susan E. Richardson has a passion formeeting people’s needs through thewritten word. You can reach her byemail at [email protected] orcheck either of her two websites:www.chewedpetunias.com orwww.nextlevelcritiques.com

Moving Forward in Faith

We have the advantage of knowing the endof the story. Eventually Pharaoh listened andthe Israelites went free. We don’t often considerhow the people in the story felt when theydidn’t know the ending. Following God musthave looked foolish at best.

Moses confronted Pharaoh several times.Each time Pharaoh seemed to win, while Moseswalked away in failure. I’ve experienced this,too. I’ve done what God asked, waited for Himto act, and but saw nothing change.

Why does God direct and then not open thepath? When I chose to leave a previous job, Iprayed about the decision and consulted withpeople familiar with Christian retail about myfuture plans. At the time, I’d spent 16 years inthe Christian industry, both as a retailer and as awriter. Those who knew my background andabilities encouraged me to move ahead withconsulting for churches that wanted to openstores. Early responses were encouraging, but inthe end no opportunities opened for me.

Had I misheard Him? Was He unfaithful indirecting me? Finally I realized that the Lordgave me a second opportunity to choose wellwhere I’d failed before. I had the chance tomake better choices in a new situation.

So I had to choose. Do I turn away again?Do I turn my back on God, fearing to trustHim? Or do I keep moving ahead, trustingblindly against the evidence I can see?

The decision wasn’t an easy one. The Lordused His timing to build my faith. I had troubledeciding to trust when everything in me wasscreaming, “No, it’s not going to work!” I had toallow the Lord to overrule that inner voice. Heasked that I learn to walk by faith, not by sight,even though He never chose to open thatspecific door.

The Lord doesn’t ask us to wait for noreason. His reasons are more complex than anyof us can understand. The bottom line is thatwhen we face a situation where obedienceseems to make the situation worse, we have achoice: turn back or trust.

Somehow we’ve come to believe thattrusting means having perfect peace abouteverything, but that isn’t true. Trust issomething we do, not something we feel. We

act according to trust and find comfort throughother means. We can trust even whileoverwhelmed with pain and in need of comfort.

When we act in spite of the challenge, wechoose to trust. We don’t deny the effortrequired nor do we rely on emotions. Thefeelings that go with trust grow as we practiceacting on faith. It’s a tough, trudging-through-the-muck perseverance that refuses to quit.

What kinds of trust are you practicing? Makea list of ways you’re choosing to do the rightthing and making healthy choices that reflecttrust, even when feeling overwhelmed.

If you’ve never considered practical thingsas a form of trust, think about what you coulddo that demonstrates your decision to trustdespite what you feel. Sometimes just gettingout of bed in the morning counts. So doestaking a walk or doing some gardening insteadof staying in alone. As you go further into yourjourney, your feelings will begin to fall in linewith your choices.

Even when nothing makes sense to us, Godis working to bring us healing and wholeness.His final goal for us is freedom, just as it was forthe Israelites.

Lord, choosing trust when we don’tcomprehend is hard. We know we can’t dothis alone. Please, show us how to choosetrust. Help us trust through our choices andour actions even when we don’t understandwhat You are doing. Y

(*To get started with the full chewed petuniasstory, please visit www.chewedpetunias.com.You’ll find the story plus other material thatmay help you along the way.) Danny E. Daniel | LPC & LMFT

PsychotherapistAREAS OF SPECIALTY

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1390 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39202 • 601.355.1731visit us at fpds.org or facebook.com/FirstPDS

CAROLYN LAIRDArt teacher at FPDS since 1984, with son Brian,

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“ I have been so blessed to teach at FPDS for 29 years. God led me to this wonderful school, and it is my joy to teach here.

”

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Timeless Fall Desserts

➺food for thoughtby LYDIA BOLEN

PUMPKIN ROLL3 eggs

2/3 cup canned pumpkin1 cup white sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 cup all-purpose flour1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Confectioner’s sugar, for dustingFilling:

2 tablespoons butter, softened8 ounces cream cheese, softened

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract1 cup confectioners’ sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a15”x10”x1” baking pan and line withparchment paper. Grease and flour the paper.

In a large bowl, beat eggs on high for 5minutes. Gradually add sugar and pumpkin.Add flour, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda.Spread batter evenly in prepared pan.Sprinkle chopped walnuts on top if using.

Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes.Immediately turn cake out onto a linen toweldusted with confectioners’ sugar. Peel offpaper and roll cake up in the towel, startingwith the short end. Let COOL.

Mix confectioners sugar, vanilla, butter,and cream cheese together until smooth.

Carefully unroll the cake. Spread the fillingmixture over cake to within 1 inch of edges.Roll up again. Cover the pumpkin roll andchill until serving. Can dust with moreconfectioners sugar right before serving.

Remember to make memoriesthrough the kitchen— “theheartbeat of the home.” E-mail me at [email protected] for any questions.

November is autumn at its finest here inMississippi. Vibrant fall colors are everywhere you look.

With cooler temperatures, I love to pull out old family recipes or trynew versions of the old ones.

My mother and her sisters baked Pineapple Upside Down Cake in aniron skillet. I used to think how fun it was to watch them make this cake.You can’t go wrong trying this recipe in an iron skillet.

What’s better in the fall than good Pecan Pie? My daughter shared thisnew version of pecan pie in the form of a muffin. If you love Pecan Pie,you will love these muffins!

Pumpkin recipes appear on many dining tables in November. Iespecially enjoy the old-fashioned Pumpkin Roll. It is pretty and festive,and great to give as a gift or have as a different dessert at yourThanksgiving meal. Y

“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will ofHim that sent me, and to finish His work.”

– John 4:34

PECAN PIE MUFFINS1 cup pecans, chopped1 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed

1/2 cup all-purpose flour2 large eggs, beaten

1/2 cup butter, melted

Combine first three ingredients in a large bowl.

Beat eggs until foamy. Stir togethereggs and melted butter; add to dryingredients stirring until moistened.

Place foil baking cups in muffins tins.(It’s pretty to use seasonal baking cups.)

Spoon batter into cups until 2/3 full andbake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

Remove from pans immediately andcool on wire racks. Best served warm.

Makes 8 regular muffins or 12 mini muffins. Y

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE1/3 cup butter1/2 brown sugar, firmly packed

1 can (20 oz.) sliced pineapple, drained (Reserve juice for sauce)Maraschino cherriesPecan halves

1 1/3 cups sifted all-purpose flour1 cup sugar2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt1/3 cup soft shortening2/3 cup milk

1 teaspoon vanilla1/2 teaspoon lemon flavoring

1 egg

Melt butter in a heavy 10-inch cast ironskillet. Spread brown sugar evenly overbutter. Arrange pineapple slices in attractivepattern on the sugar. Put cherries in centerof slices, and fill in spaces with pecan halves.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder,and salt in a mixing bowl. Add shortening,milk, and flavorings. Beat 2 minutes atmedium speed in mixer. Add egg. Beat 2more minutes.

Pour batter over fruit. Bake at 350degrees for 40 to 50 minutes or until cake tests done. Cool cake in skillet for 10 minutes. Turn upside down on a cake platter.

For a yummy sauce to pour over thiscake, click on “Food for Thought” atwww.metrochristianliving.com.

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education connectionby KATE SISTRUNK

Could you imagine reading something over andover and over and not being able to graspanything it says? Imagine having trouble taking notes in

class because you cannot process what they are saying fast enough oreven spell what they are saying. Now imagine being a kid who’sterribly embarrassed by it all—and afraid to ask for help. Thissituation for kids can be a nightmare. It was for me and is forcountless children sitting in classrooms across the country.

As a child, I experienced all of these things, which made school astruggle for me. Unfortunately, I went to a school where appropriateaccommodations weren’t made. To maintain a solid “C” average, I hadto invest a great deal of time into schoolwork outside of the classroom.I struggled to understand how my friends and classmates seemed toexert less energy, but always seemed to get an “A”. I often wonderedwhy learning was so hard for me when it seemed to come so easily formy classmates. My self-esteem suffered as a result, and impacted meadversely. Because I was afraid that others would laugh at me, I neverasked questions or wanted to read aloud in class. I was very insecurewith academics. Luckily, my mother got me involved in extracurricularactivities. I excelled which boosted my self-esteem. Finally, I was goodat something!

At age 16, I was diagnosed with ADD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, andDyscalculia—no wonder I had been struggling! It was in college that Ifinally began to understand more about troubles with education andlearning. I began receiving accommodations for my learningdifficulties and it made all the difference. I went from being a “C”student in high school to a college student on the Dean’s List! Idedicated myself to helping other children with similar experiences bygraduating with a Bachelor’s in Education.

Following college, I began my career as a teacher, which included

time in a traditional classroom—as well as a stint as the director of aprogram that assisted students with learning needs. It was bothempowering and fulfilling to assist students in ways others couldn’t—because I understood these kids. I could relate, I knew what it is like tostudy or to read and just not be able to grasp it! Moreover, I couldspeak from experience when I would tell the students that it wasn’t alack of effort, or laziness that was affecting their academicperformance. Hearing that sort of thing from the children wouldbother me so much because I knew it just wasn’t true! I knew whythese students were so frustrated with school. I had been there! Nochild wants to be lazy—every student wants to please.

I now work for New Summit School where I provide DyslexiaTherapy and Diagnostic Services. It has been a blessing for me, and forour students. I am able to work with individuals that have a diagnosisof Dyslexia, as well as those that do not. In both instances, I am ablegive them the help that they need to succeed academically. In my 10years of experience in education, I have never seen a program havesuch a positive impact on students.

The Dyslexia Therapy program is research based. It is founded inwidely accepted best practices in the field of Dyslexia Therapy. At NewSummit School, we offer the program five days a week and are seeingimmediate results! The gains made by students are exciting. As ameans of extending this service to students outside of New SummitSchool, we offer therapy after-hours by appointment. My goal in life isto help as many students as possible. To help them realize they canread and they will be successful. Y

Kate Sistrunk is New Summit School’s Dyslexia Therapy Program instructor forK-12. She can be contacted 601.982.7827 or [email protected].

Living with Dyslexia—There Is Hope!

“A Great deal of improvement in Levi’s reading and spelling abilitiesas well as his self motivation due to the Dyslexia Therapy Services.”

– Robert & Ginger Filbert, Parents of Levi

One of Mrs. Sistrunk’s fifth graders said, “Mrs. Sistrunk is amazing.She has helped me so much with my reading and writing. DyslexiaTherapy is one of my favorite parts of the day. “

– 5th Grade student of New Summit School

“Since my son Alex, was diagnosed, I have learned there is no setapproach to teaching a child with Dyslexia. It requires a highly skilledteacher that can figure out the best method for getting through toeach child. After doing my own research, I was not satisfied with theoptions presented to me, at his previous school. My decision to putAlex in New Summit School was based on several factors. The staffand teachers are available at all times, There are numerousparent/teacher meetings in which the teachers work late to makesure that parents have every opportunity to stay informed. Staff andparents are eager to share success stories, and most important in our

case, Ms. Sistrunk, who has extensive training working with Dyslexicsas well as her own personal experiences in dealing with Dyslexia. Before Alex started school at New Summit, he could barelyrecognize his ABCs. We were told by the public school that he wasattending, that he would have to repeat another year. He would nowbe in class with children two and three years younger than him, eventhough he had been placed in Special Education classes. His attitudetowards school was not easy to deal with, and he was embarrassedto be placed in the same class with such young kids. Three months after beginning New Summit, he is sounding outwords, successfully taking spelling tests, and tells me often that helikes going to school! I have never seen a more enthusiastic group ofteachers and administrators so eager to help make a difference inthese children’s lives. There is no doubt that the small group classesas well as his daily sessions with Ms. Sistrunk have helpedtremendously. This is the first time, since realizing that Alex washaving problems learning, that we have had hope. I am so excitedfor him!”

– Stephanie Anderson, Parent of Alex

Kate Sistrunk

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JoeyGarner

A Leading Lady


The epitome of Southern grace, she comes across as the girl next-door, winsome and unassuming. It is easy to picture her on thesidelines at her children’s football or volleyball games cheeringwith gusto, or meeting her girlfriends for a 5 a.m. run and beingthe one who encourages everyone to wake up and embrace themorning. It is even easy to appreciate that she was an outstandingathlete in both tennis and basketball at Bay Springs High School in the1980s. It is easy to picture her as a smart girl who graduated fromVanderbilt. It is not as easy to picture her sitting behind a desk,heading up the day-to-day operations of TEC, its six localtelephone companies, two cable companies, and otheraffiliated technological entities across four states.However, the Mississippi Business Journal named thissoft-spoken lady the 2008 Business Woman of theYear. And if you ask her, she is doing exactly whatshe set her mind to do as a little girl. That wouldbe working in the family business.

Joey (and yes, that is her real name) isanything but a stereotype. As the first child ofJody and Nancy Fail, she came into the worldgiving a 200% effort at whatever she did. Shecredits her small town idyllic childhood andthe consistent example of her parents’ strongfaith for shaping her work ethic as well as thevalues that are apparent in her every pursuit.Whether it is being James Garner’s wife, themother of three teenagers, or leading thecompany, you can count on Joey to give her all.

Andy Griffith’s “Mayberry” or Robert Young’sFather Knows Best series were very close to thereality of Bay Springs, Mississippi, where Joey grewup. A community where everybody kneweverybody and walking was the preferred modeof transportation, the population was—and stillis—around 2,000 residents. It doesn’t sound likethe spot to launch a company that would beamong the nation’s leaders in technology solutions. But it was.

Joey’s RootsIt was 1923 when Joey’s grandparents, Estelle and Donnie Fail,

purchased the Bay Springs Telephone Company. There were about120 subscribers, and Estelle became the “Number, please” voice andonly operator of the magneto switchboard. Included in the businesspurchase was a cinder block house that doubled as both residence andbusiness office.

Joey explains that small communities all had their own phonecompany because as the American Bell Company (AT&T’s forerunner)stretched its network across the United States, they were not eager tolay cable in outlying rural communities. They reasoned it was anexpense with little return. Such a policy resulted in small towns like

Bay Springs forming their own local companies. The Bay Springs Phone Company had a staff of two—Estelle and Donnie. Joey recalls many a story of her

grandfather walking the country roads with a canefishing pole in his hand, not to fish, but to unravel

the telephone lines that became tangled in a stormor a strong wind. When Joey’s dad graduated fromLSU with a degree in electrical engineering, itwas a natural fit for him to take a role in hisparents’ business. During the decade of the1960s as technology was expanding, the Failsbegan purchasing other rural telephonecompanies in Alabama and Tennessee. Longhours and a willingness to do whatever ittook—that’s what they did.

“Dad and Granddad were always veryforward thinking. They were always on the

forefront of technology,” Joey says and adds, “Ihope I inherited that trait.” Their legacy was a

degree of willingness to change in some areaswhile holding on to the core values that are the

foundation of business integrity. Joey gets that. It hasbeen modeled for her for her entire life.

With the addition of two cable televisioncompanies, the Fails formed TEC as the parentcompany, and they continued to grow theircustomer base through acquisitions. When AT&T

divested in the early 1980s, TEC formed Mississippi’s first alternativelong-distance carrier, CommuniGroup. The only constant in therapidly evolving telecommunication industry was—and still is—change, and Joey watched from the sidelines as her father successfullyadapted.

Joey can’t remember a time when she was not aware of business,since she could walk out her back door and play on rolls of cable andsee the trucks parked in her yard. Her dad came home for lunch everyday, and business was dinnertime conversation. She adored her father

Grandaddy Donnie, Joey, andGrandma Estelle Fail enjoy the50th Anniversary of the BaySprings Phone Company in 1973.

oey Fail Garner, Executive VicePresident of Telephone ElectronicCorporation (TEC), wields enormous responsibilities on her slender shoulders.

Joey and James married May 4, 1991.

J

who made family a high priority. He led the family devotions eachnight. He was always there to encourage and advise her, and as shewatched him make decisions about the future of his business, she sawhow very much he sought God’s direction before making a decision.Even as a little girl before she was sure what she wanted to becomewhen she grew up, she did know that she wanted to beinvolved in the company her father and grandfather built.

Jody Fail says he always recognized in hisdaughter a unique skill set—“her determination tostrive for excellence, her love for people, hercompetiveness and her positive attitude aboutlife.” He did not set out to groom her to takeover the company one day, but there waslittle doubt in anyone’s mind that she wascapable. His goals for his first-born werenot to be a CEO, but rather “to enjoy ahappy Christian family life of her ownand to succeed in her personalambitions.” Well, that “personal ambition”was to work in her father’s company!

Major DecisionsTEC’s growth and success afforded Joey a

lot of opportunities to travel with her familyduring her formative years. Seeing the big worldwas its own education, but no matter how far shewent, she always loved to get back home to BaySprings. There was a deep connection to the town,the Baptist church, the school, and the people whowere so much a part of her. Despite having lived inRidgeland for more than a decade, she still answersthe question, “Where are you from?” with “BaySprings, Mississippi.”

A high school English teacher encouraged Joey, who wasvaledictorian of her class, to apply for early admission to Vanderbilt.She did and was accepted. Although her family bleeds purple and goldand roots for those LSU Tigers, Joey never applied for admissionanywhere except Vanderbilt. She visited the campus only once beforeher freshman year and enrolled in the Engineering School because shewas certain she was going to follow in her dad’s footsteps.

Joey laughs and says that it became apparent very early that she wasnot cut out to be an engineer. She switched her major to English and“loved every minute of it!”

It was in the summer following her freshman year that a friendinvited her to spend a weekend in Jackson and attend a Bryan Adams

concert at the Jackson Coliseum. The friend also arranged ablind date with a Mississippi State engineering student,

James Garner. “I know it sounds corny,” she says,“But I knew from the start that he was the one

for me.” James was equally smitten with Joey saying

that once he saw those blue eyes, she hadhim before the first “Hello!” After a three-year, long-distance courtship, they marriedin 1991, and spent the first year togetherin Huntsville, where James worked forRockwell Industries, a company heavilyinvolved in the construction of the space shuttle.

“When I graduated, I wondered how Iwas going to work for the company with a

degree in English.” Jody Fail was a stepahead of her. As TEC was continuing to

grow across the Southeast, it seemedimportant to develop a sense of connectedness

among the divisions in different places. Fail wantedto start a corporate monthly newsletter, a veryinnovative idea for that time. He assigned the taskto his English-major daughter. In order to do thethorough job that Joey felt compelled to do, shevisited every company, interviewed everyoneinvolved and gained a great understanding of every

aspect of TEC. It was also important to Joey to win the trust, respect,and friendship of the people who made the company run. She did notwant anyone to think she had the job simply because she was JodyFail’s daughter.

Jody had no doubt his daughter would do a bang-up job. All theseyears later, the newsletter continues, and although Joey’s job titles andduties have grown with the years, she is still the one responsible forthat newsletter. Her personal touch is all over it. She has a knack for


Spending time outside with John,Joseph, and Jessica has alwaysbeen a favorite thing to do!

Displayed prominently in Joey’s office are thesetreasures—the “portraits” of their mom thatsons John and Joseph created as first graders.


making all 250 employees in four states feel not only connected, butlike they are all essential members of a big family—because in Joey’smind, they certainly are. It takes more than the expertise with nounsand verbs to inject warmth between the lines. Joey does that by beingherself, by sharing parts of her family’s life lessons, and by herinclusive articles that introduce the TEC employees to each other andhighlight numerous community projects that different divisions takeon in their respective cities. Community service is a sort of “extension”of Jesus’ “salt and light” parable. The result is a common spirit ofcamaraderie and teamwork.

Lisa Clarke, Director of Marketing at TEC, tells me that meetingshere always begin with prayer and a Bible verse. There is a verypositive culture and a sense that everyone is pulling in the samedirection. That sort of prevailing attitude starts at the top.

Amanda Wootton, one of Joey’s best friends, prayer partner, and 5a.m. running buddy, says, “I have never met anybody who prays overevery single thing the way Joey does.” She is a calm and serene personwho has an amazing ability to see the big picture. In a situation wheremost of us panic first and seek God after all else has failed, Joey’s firstinstinct is always to pray and to listen and to let God lead.

Joey is a prayer warrior and always has been. In her unassuming

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way, she shrugs off her friend’s praise. She says she has just alwaystalked to God—a practice she began as a small child and one that hasalways seemed quite natural to her. “I’ve had a close relationship withGod my whole life, and that’s all because of my parents and the waythey lived their lives.” There may have been times, she says, when shewas slightly bothered by the fact that her testimony has no dramaticepisodes and trials to recount. Does that make it any less real?

She says she wonders if there will be some big calamity down theroad somewhere, and if there is, she prays she will be faithful and thatshe will trust God’s hand as much in that trial as she has trusted Himall her life.

Juggling Family It’s a delicate balance to nurture a family and simultaneously lead in

a corporate environment. There is nothing easy about it since itrequires maximum effort from both sides of the brain! Add to the“mommy” challenge the fact that she and husband James, VicePresident of Operations, work in the same office every day. How doyou blend work and marriage and children and make it all work? It isan inspiring story all by itself.

Although they take two cars to work every day so that Joey can

Joseph, Joey, John, and James celebrate the boys’ St. Andrew’sundefeated football season.

Joey’s dad, Jody Fail was selected LSU Distinguished Alumni of theYear in 2012. Pictured are James, Joey, Jessica, John, Jody andNancy Fail, Joseph, Brandi and Alan Callison.


leave in time to pick up the children from school and behome when they are home, they do see each otherduring the day. And they make it a point to havelunch together most days. Most psychologists donot recommend husbands and wives workingtogether. Why does this combination work?

James says, “Joey is a giver. She givesherself completely to whatever she does.”He adds that even though it may not be theeasiest thing to understand, it is true thatshe puts her family before her job and shebalances it all because of her very strongfaith. Her relationship with the Lordgrounds her, prioritizes for her, and keepsher focused.

The artwork and photos in her officeillustrate James’ words. When their twin sonswere in the first grade they had to describe theirmom with words and their own originalportrait of her. The resulting works of arthang behind her desk. Such clues aboutJoey in her young sons’ own words aretender, hilarious, and heartfelt. “Herfavorite thing is playing with us.” “Sheloves to throw the baseball.” “She washesour clothes.” “She takes care of us.” “Shereads to us.” “Her favorite food is Special K.” Clearly, these boys adoretheir mom.

Admitting that she knew nothing about raising boys until she hadtwo, she has loved every new experience that has come as a result. Had

there been just one son, Joey might have opted out of afew very special occasions. For instance, John and

Joseph, like their dad, enjoy hunting. Because eachboy has to have an adult with him, Joey has

relished being that second adult. Many a chillywinter morning will find her wearing hercamouflage and patiently watching for deerwith one of the boys. It is a memory she willalways be thankful she has made.

The first year the boys could actuallyshoot, they drew straws to see who wentwith Dad and who went with Mom. Muchto John’s visible disappointment he drew his

mother. He was sure his brother had theadvantage, would benefit from Dad’s

expertise, and certainly get the first deer. Notso. It was John who got the big one that day!

PrioritiesYou will find the Garners on Sundays at

Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison.Joey has a leadership position in severalkey committees. During the week, Joeystarts her day at 5:37 a.m. with either afive-mile run or a Pilates class, getseveryone off to school, and then gets

herself to the office. She picks up the boys around 3:30. Sixteen-year-old Jessica, a volleyball player at St. Andrews, usually has a practiceafter school, and she can now drive herself home.

“Schedules change with different seasons,” says Joey, “Things haveto be flexible.”

Although the Garner children appreciate the “family business”factor, Joey says, “It’s a little different for them because they don’t walkout the door and see the business everywhere the same way I did as achild.” She and James make it a point to not talk about business athome— mostly because the family is so busy, and so engaged andinteresting, that there is just no time to subtract from the here andnow—and the fun of family—to talk about work!

The constant, however, for the Garner children, is observing thegenerational faith that just has to inspire. Joey’s parents, Jody andNancy, make most ballgames their grandchildren play. Holidays andweekends are family affairs. Gratitude is a big deal—blessings are nottaken for granted. Thanksgiving is around the corner. You can bet theFails and Garners, along with sister, Brandi and her husband AlanCallison, will be together, and the emphasis will be on giving thanks—to God. He is at the center of all they do. Y

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Younger sister Brandi Callison works with Joey atTEC. Says Brandi, “Growing up I always wanted tobe with her, to play with her and her friends. Andshe always included me, always took care of meand watched out for me. Just as she does today!”


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In Joey’s Own WordsBest Advice to Working Moms: Always try to have a littlequiet time during the day to read your Bible and pray, even if it isonly five minutes. Sometimes these few minutes come whilesitting in carpool or waiting for dinner to be done. I have talkedwith my dad about this because it has bothered me in the past

when I haven’t been able to be still and focus on God. He always told me to just dowhat I could and that one day in life, I would have more time to devote to thosethings. He never said slack off on the quiet time; he just told me not to be so hardon myself.

My morning routine: I try to keep my morning routine from interfering with myfamily’s early morning routine. It is really important to me to exercise, but it is moreimportant to me to be able to take care of my family. I like to be there to help getthem started on a good day. It’s important to me to be able to say goodbye with ahug and a smile in the mornings.

One of my favorite things: Coming home from a great run with my friends on aSaturday morning and having that first cup of coffee on the back porch while I readmy Bible. I love having quiet time before the rest of the family wakes up. I thankGod for every new day, and I cherish the quiet times when I can bask in His glory.

Favorite Bible Verse: In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.Wedo not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for usthrough wordless groans. (Romans 8:26) Y

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➺this is my storyby COURTNEY GRAY LAYSON

Fear, Faith, andThanksgiving

Iam sitting in the Nuclear MedicineDepartment of Markey Cancer Centerat University of Kentucky Hospital. Gray

cinder block walls, caution signs, warningsabout radiation, and doctors in lab coatssurround me. I see baldheads, IV poles, andspaceship-like scanning machines with thename SIEMENS printed in teal lettering. It'slike a sterile walking graveyard. Everyone isalive, which is really good, but life isn't the wordthat comes to mind.

Let's just face it. I'm scared. There. I said it.Now it's out on the page for the entire world tosee. I have finally mustered up the strength toface the inevitable. FEAR. It’s the ugliest four-letter word I can think of. I'm sad to say that ofall the words I can think of, this is the one Ihave the most trouble owning up to.

I've been in this situation many times now.It's not new. The first time I was here I wasinexplicably confident. I think I was just naive.The second time I was here, I was irritated. Iwas annoyed with cancer's inconvenient impacton my life. But this time it's different. I don'twant to be here. I'm afraid of the medicine Imay or may not have to take depending on theresults of my scans. I know how sick I'll feel if Ihave another dose of radiation. Even thoughthe radiologist will tell me that it's all in myhead. I'm terrified of the painfully lonely 72hours of isolation. I am acutely aware of thetime I'll spend away from my husband andchildren. I know that I'll worry for the next 6months about the next 6 months. And I'll alwaysbe concerned about the long-term effectstreatment has on my body.

Fear. It's such a small word, but its impact isso big. It's paralyzing. At times fear has thestrength of 10,000 wild horses. Nothing else hassuch an impact on my life. I mean it's crazy thatsomething so small can do so much damage. So,now I've said it. At least this time I'm not fakingit. There's another f-word for you.Unfortunately, I'm kind of comfortable withthat one. I know how to fake it. But fear? Thevery word seems so weak and so uncontrollable.

So, here I am sitting in the hospitalsurrounded by fear. And then I hear a familiarvoice. Sue. We go way back. Sue has been myradiology tech for each scan since August of2010. She and her colleague, Stephen, rule theroost in the Nuclear Medicine Department asfar as I'm concerned. They keep everyoneinformed and up-to-date and they do it all withsmiles on their faces. They are gentle souls—


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kind. As I hear Sue's voice, I am calmed. Shecalls my name and escorts me to the all-too-familiar spaceship/scanner. As I settle in for myphoto shoot, Sue wraps me in a warm blanketand tapes my feet together. (It's okay. I'm usedto it.) And as if on cue, James Taylor begins toplay in the background. Sue remembers that Ilove this CD. I ask for it every time I visit formy weeklong rendezvous. These seeminglyunremarkable acts of kindness lead me toanother four-letter word—HOPE.

Isn't it amazing how you just need a teeny-tiny bit of hope in order to feel better? It's like amiracle drug. I wish that's all you needed tocure cancer. Sue's sweet spirit gives me hopethat there is life beyond this dungeon—thatthere's life beyond this fear. And in a splitsecond, I feel it. FAITH. Instantly I amreminded of the verses I read just yesterday inthe book of Isaiah.

But this is what the LORD says—He whocreated you, Jacob, He who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;I have summoned you by name; you are mine.When you pass through the waters, I will bewith you; and when you pass through the rivers,they will not sweep over you. When you walkthrough the fire, you will not be burned; theflames will not set you ablaze. For I am theLORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, yourSavior.” – Isaiah 43:1-3a

My scans from today are inconclusive. I don'tknow what will happen to me tomorrow. I mayhave another treatment awaiting me. I may haveanother 72-hour isolation period in my very nearfuture. I might get so sick that I don't eat fortwo more days. I just don't know. I am stillafraid, but I am not gripped by fear. I want goodnews tomorrow. I'd be a liar if I said otherwise. Idon't know one person in the Markey CancerCenter who doesn't want the same thing. But Ido know this. Sue will greet me with a smile anda warm blanket. James Taylor will serenade mesoftly while a gigantic machine takes pictures ofmy insides. And The God of All Creation willcontinue to reign over it all.

And keeping all of this in mind, I realizesomething else. I am thankful. While I don’tnecessarily appreciate cancer, I am glad that Ilove a God who brings blessings out of badthings. I am thankful for faith and hope andkindness. I am thankful for those who care forthe sick. I am thankful for life.Y

Courtney Gray Layson is a nativeJacksonian and a graduate of MS Collegeand Asbury Theological Seminary. She isthe mother of two and a LPC at ChristUnited Methodist Church in Jackson.Contact Courtney at 601.914.7119.

GGlliimmppsseess ooff GGlloorryyAuthor Peggy A. Keady has thegreat ability of seeing life throughthe eyes of her soul. Her shortvignettes touch on everydaytopics and will heighten your ownreflection and gratitude to God.Glimpses of Glory offers bothpersonal encouragement andspiritual insight.

Crafted from a grateful heart,Glimpses of Glory can create inyou a longing to explore suchordinary topics as:

• BEGINNINGS • CHANGES • COMPANIONSHIP • NEW LIFE • TIME • TRUST

An uplifting compilation ofinspirational vignettes sure tocalm the troubled spirit andrenew faith in the eternity of the soul.

Charlsie Russell, author and owner, Loblolly Writer’s house

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”


➺single still, single againby AMY INGRAM

Amy Ingram is a Senior AccountExecutive at a branding and marketingfirm in Birmingham, Alabama, where she lives with her dog, Mabel. Feel free tocontact her at [email protected].

Is FORGIVENESS Necessary?Hi world, it’s me again. Miss me?I’m over here in Birminghamgetting settled in to my new city.When I first moved here I looked for any andevery reason to jump ship and run back to whatI knew as home. The newness and lack ofcomfort created a great restlessness in me, butthat has since calmed (Praise JESUS), and I’mbeginning to feel at home here. I was traveling aton, but that has also calmed so life is quitesweet right now.

And honestly, that really is such an answeredprayer. To feel at home and at ease in a placethat I’m still learning is such a blessing fromGod. Being pushed out of what I’ve known hasforced me to grow. It has not been optional.

I’ve started visiting the church where DavidPlatt preaches. If you haven’t heard of him, hewrote the book Radical (which I highlyrecommend). I’ve also started a small groupwith some girls from the church and that’s beengood. Meeting new people who love Jesus isalways a blessing.

I was asked to give my testimony at this Biblestudy a few weeks back, and had that whole “my

testimony is so boring” feeling rolling around inthe back of my head, but ultimately obliged. As Ibegan talking about Jesus in my life, my walk,my decisions, my hurts, my fears, and his greatlove over all of that, I realized my testimony isthe exact opposite of what I’ve always believed. Ihave lived through some hell. I grew upbelieving I was doing everything “good” and thatsurely God believed I was good—and loved mebecause I was good. It was not until I was facedwith forgiving a situation/someone that I finallygrasped grace. And mercy. And an unfailing loveand pursuit over me. It was then that I finallysaw Jesus. I looked around the room and tearsfell on all of the faces as I told this great loveand redemption story.

A heart of forgiveness. A heart of forgiveness.A heart of forgiveness took me to my knees,where Jesus grasped my face, wiped the tearsclean and showed me love. My first glimpse ofJesus’ real love. And grace. And mercy. All in theact of forgiveness. You must forgive, so you cantruly know forgiveness. I sit here weeping as Iwrite this to you. I hope that if there is forgivingto do, that you are able to do it with his power.

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I’m praying that for you right now, beloved. For if you forgive others their trespasses,

your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but ifyou do not forgive others their trespasses,neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.– Matthew 6:14-15

I know that some of you—single, divorced,widowed—are holding anger, grudges, etc.,deep down inside of you towards people whohave hurt you. I also know that until you askGod to help you forgive, it’s hurting you themost. Rise up, beloved. Forgive. Let God showyou all that he can do as he sifts up that pain andwashes you white as snow. The process ispainful, but the reward is eternal.

I love all of you dear friends. While we maynot know one another personally, I’m hopefulthat this life of mine, so public, can challengeyou to walk in his love. Be loved, for you aremost definitely loved. Y

“I know My sheep and My sheep know Me” John 10:14

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1. Cary Collins DesignsCary lives with her husband and three kiddos in LittleRock, AR. Despite having never taken an art class, Caryhas found her niche with hand-drawn scripture art. Shehopes her colorful designs will not just make you smile,but draw you closer to the Lord. See her array ofstationary, calendars, notecards, and more at HandworksHoliday Market.

2. JH Artwear & DesignsYoung, sassy, ready to wear! One of Handworks’ manytalented artisans with a flair for dressing you in style.Jessica will have handcrafted wire and mixed metaljewelry as well as vintage-inspired hair accessories. See what will be the trends this year; buy for gifts and for yourself!

3. Jewelry by RandyRandy Walker made his first creation for a little freckled-faced girl with pigtails in the 4th grade. He has notstopped creating since that first experience. He makescustom jewelry from sentimental family heirlooms orsomething as non-descript as a spool of silver wire. Hiscreations are highlights under a Christmas tree and bringsqueals of joy on Christmas morning. Gather around hisbooth early; there is always a crowd!

4. Earth Grace Artisan JewelryW.A. “Al” Stanford, Jewelry Designer and Artisan, worksfrom his studio near New Albany, MS, to produce hand-forged jewelry using natural materials. A lifelongoutdoorsman, Al is inspired and awed by the beauty andgracefulness of God’s creation. His designs are made theway they have been for thousands of years. Using onlyfire, basic hand tools, and natural elements, he producesjewelry with a rare “earthy” quality.

5. Sweet Potato SweetsStop the baking! There is no reason to ruin your holidaysby spending precious family time in the kitchen when youcan pick up the finest pies, candies, cookies and muffins atHandworks. This family operated business in Vardaman,MS, grows their own sweet potatoes and then createsdelicious treats from those nutritious vegetables! You’vebeen searching for a way to get the children to eat theirvegetables—try Sweet Potato Pie!

6. Summer Lewis PotteryA special education teacher by day and an expressivepotter by night, Summer places a new spin on ahandcrafted art form, utilizing weathered cypress boardsto showcase many of her designs. You will enjoy takinghome one of these whimsical gifts. She will have those all-important sports teams’ logos, too!

7. Ladybugs and LassosImagine finding the perfect outfit for your child orgrandchild for Christmas and having their monogram orapplique applied for personalization. Those outfits andmore will be at Handworks when you visit Ladybugs andLassos. Not just like everyone else, your gift will have thespecial touch of talented seamstresses creating uniquedesigns for you.

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MARKETPLACE!

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at your favorite retailer.

Tay Morgan DesignsOriginal Art, 2014 Calendars, Stationery and Gifts


The PILL ProblemAlternatives to habit-forming drugs have been

proven effective for many chronic pain sufferers.

Dr. Bruce Hirshman urges cautionwhen it comes to potentiallydangerous prescription painkillers.

“Opiate pain medications should be usedonly when everything else has failed,” saidHirshman, a board-certified physician atMethodist Pain and Spine Center in Flowood.“They should be used at the lowest possibleeffective dosages only in selected patients whoare appropriate candidates—and that’s noteverybody. Opiates do not relieve all pain.”

That may be surprising coming from a doctorwhose specialty is treating pain. But it’s soundadvice considering the national epidemic ofprescription drug abuse, which has been risingat an alarming rate.

Unintentional deaths by opiate overdosehave tripled in the United States over the pastdecade, while sales and prescriptions havequadrupled, according to a report by theMississippi State Department of Health.

“It’s a real problem,” Hirshman said. “Opiateoveruse and misuse has been a huge medicalissue in this state, as well as the rest of the U.S.There are more people dying of prescribedopiate overdoses than there are from illicit drug use.”

In Mississippi, deaths have increased tenfoldsince 1990. In January 2013 alone, Mississippidoctors prescribed over 10 million doses ofhydrocodone products, equal to three doses forevery man, woman, and child in the state.

However, when properly used, opiates canbe safe and effective, Hirshman says.

“Medication should be individualized to theperson and their disease,” Hirshman said. “Wenow have an improved arsenal of medicines.Some medications that work for pain includeantidepressants, anti-inflammatories, andmedications that stabilize nerves, such as Lyrica.”

The bottom line is pain management is allabout what works for the individual.

Before making a diagnosis and a suggestedtreatment regimen, Hirshman extensivelyinterviews patients and performs in-depthdiagnostic exams and tests to pinpoint thecauses of their pain.

In Ouida Shotts’ case, prescription painmedication was not the answer for her chronic pain.

“I saw doctor after doctor and went through

everythingimaginable,” shesaid. “I had beenon medicine fromeveryone underthe sun.”

While some prescriptions providedtemporary relief, the pain that gnawed at herback and hip always returned, sometimes with a vengeance.

“I could hardly bend my back,” she said. “Iwas sleeping from one to two hours a night. Ona scale from one to 10, if there was a 10-plus, Iwas there. It was the most horrible thing I everwent through in my life. I was at my breakingpoint and didn’t know what else to do. I neededanother aggressive step. I was ready forsomething else.”

On the recommendation of a friend, Shottswent to see Hirshman, who provided thebreakthrough alternative she was searching for.

“I think there is a widely held belief thatarthritis of the back cannot be treated, and thatit is hopeless,” Hirshman said. “That the onlything you can do for it is anti-inflammatoriesand offer pain medicine, but that’s not the case.There is good treatment for back and neck joint pain.”

➺the doctor is inby CAREY MILLER

Hirshman says recent advancements in hisfield have provided alternatives.

“In the old days, all that we could really offerpeople was shots in the joints of their backs,using cortisone or local anesthetics,” Hirshmansaid. “These shots, although often effective,produced results that were very short-lived.

“About 15 years ago, we developed thetechnology to burn the little nerves that go tothe joints in the back, offering people often six

months to two years of painrelief—some even more than that,such as Mrs. Shotts.”

This technology, commonlyreferred to as radio frequencyrhizotomy, is what yieldedwelcome results for Shotts.

Coupled with bursa injectionsand a regimen of physical therapyfor her hip pain, her individualcourse of treatment freed herfrom the pain that had upendedher life.

“I have always been such an active person,and when it hit me, it was like ‘boom!’overnight,” said Shotts, who enjoys walkingand the outdoors. “It took everything awayfrom me.”

It even threatened to take her away from her busy career as an office manager for aBrandon realtor.

“I have a high tolerance of pain, above theaverage person. When I say I am reallyhurting—I am really hurting,” she said. “But Ibelieve in working every day. I never let itinterfere with my work. It was very hard, but Idealt with it.”

Now Shotts is back to her active lifestyle andis pain free at work.

“It’s been close to three years since I’ve lastbeen treated, and I’m still fine today,” Shottssaid. “Dr. Hirshman really changed my life. Y

For more information on the services offered byMethodist Rehab’s Pain & Spine Center, pleasecall 601-936-8801.

Dr. Bruce Hirshman


An amazing United Methodist ministry of recovery and hope—supported by an exceptional team of caregivers.

specializing in care for stroke, spinal cord injury, brain injury and amputation.

For information, visit methodistonline.org or call 601-364-3434 or toll-free 1-800-223-6672, ext. 3434.

It’s no surprise that Bill Meador of Hickory suffered a stroke while in a shooting house.

his therapy at Methodist Rehab focused on getting him back outdoors.

After staff taught him how to compensate for his paralyzed left side, the retired engineer devised ingenious ways to make his 120-acre farm more accessible. Now, he encourages other hunters hampered by health problems to “not let anything slow you down.”

“There’s a way to get it done,” he says. “On the second anniversary of my stroke, I was back in the same shooting house with the same shooting

Now I can...enjoy the great outdoors

Color it festive withthese holiday events!

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November 14th - 16thCitywide Holiday Open House / Yuletide Trolley Ride

December 5thCourthouse Lighting / Outdoor Holiday Movie Night

December 6thIce Skating / Fireworks

Roy Martin Delta Band Festival / Christmas Parade

December 7thCookie Decorating with Viking Cooking School

Ice Skating

Johnson was named principalat Callaway High in Jackson andserved there for seven yearsbefore God opened a door for theposition as athletic director at JPS.

“I missed the interaction withthe coaches and student athletesand this gave me a chance to get back into itand also have a positive impact on severalschools,” said Johnson, who is in his third yearat the JPS athletic director. “It was a breath offresh air to be able to work with them againand help kids. The Lord has watched over meand I’ve been truly blessed. I can’t do anythingwithout Him and I always pray about major decisions.”

Johnson grew up in rural Madison County inthe Farmhaven community, 15 minutes east ofCanton. He attended New Truelight MissionaryBaptist Church growing up. Johnson graduatedfrom Velma Jackson High and Jackson State. Heplayed pro baseball for six years in the BostonRed Sox organization. After Johnson and hiswife, Phyllis, were married in 1983, they joinedAnderson United Methodist Church in Jackson.They have two sons, Will, 30, and Trey, 29. Willis close to getting his Ph.D. in environmentalscience at Jackson State. Trey is a pro basketballplayer and has played with several teams in theNBA and overseas.

While Johnson has been blessed, he has hadhis share of tragedy. His father, Clint, Sr., waskilled in an automobile accident in 1996, and hisnephew, Mikey, was killed while he was in highschool at Murrah by a drunk driver in 2005.

“We have to trust in the Lord. He doesn’t


➺

Clint Johnson has a ministry, butit’s not in the pulpit. Johnson isthe athletic director for Jackson

Public Schools, the second largestschool district in Mississippi. He is incharge of overseeing hundreds of coaches andthousands of student athletes in 20 schools,seven high schools and 13 middle schools. Mostathletic directors in Mississippi are in chargeonly one school. Johnson’s job sounds difficult.You better believe it, but Johnson wouldn’t tradeit for anything.

“God has blessed me with this position and anopportunity to make a difference in coaches andstudent athletes’ lives,” Johnson said. “It all startswith God. He has put me here. I know that andrespect the position. People know where I stand.They know how I carry myself. I’m honest withpeople. They know I’m a God-fearing personand they respect me for that. I care deeply forthese coaches and kids. I pray that I caninfluence them in a positive direction.”

Johnson has been in education for threedecades. Johnson worked at Whitten MiddleSchool as a teacher and coach for five years, thenLanier as teacher and coach for nine years until1999, when he got a chance to go intoadministration as an assistant principal and thenprincipal at Utica Elementary School in theHinds County School District for five years.

“I had some great teachers under me and weimproved Utica tremendously,” Johnson said.“My focus was to work with the children and theteachers and I worked together very well toimprove our students’ success rate. I hated toleave, but I had a chance to get back into JPS.”

Robert Wilson is Business Developer forBFAC. He is a freelance writer, author,and publisher. He is a member ofBroadmoor Baptist Church. Contacthim at [email protected].

sports victoriesby ROBERT WILSON

make mistakes,” Johnson said. “Youcan’t question why. You have to relyon the Lord to give you strength

and keep grounded in the Word to keep yoursanity. We have a lot of great memories of themand we must hold onto those. I’m just glad Ihave a relationship with the Lord to cope whentragedy strikes.”

Johnson has created a Friends of JPSAthletics foundation to help financially supportthe athletic programs and will give financialrewards to coaches and athletic programs forsuccess. He is also working toward having a firstever JPS banquet to recognize outstandingachievements by coaches and student athletes.

“I want to give some positive energy for a jobwell done,” Johnson said. “We have formed aboard which has people who have beenassociated with JPS for many years. They aredoing a great job giving ideas of how to supportour programs. A little bit of appreciation can goa long way. These coaches and student athletesdeserve it. Too many times people only see thebad things kids are doing and they are manydoing great things and I want people to see thatas well.” Y

CLINT JOHNSONAthletic Director for JPS

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Lanae Harper, LMTOne of the area’s most sought afterMassage Therapists will be heading up our exciting new spa concept.But you don’t need to wait.Call for an appointment now!

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National Academy of Elder Law

Attorneys

➺legal adviceby WILLIAM B. HOWELL

AWill is only effective to distribute your assets afteryou have passed away, and after the probateprocess has been completed in Chancery Court. So,

if you should become incapacitated during your lifetime as a result of astroke or Alzheimer's disease, or whatever cause, then your Will cannothelp you—because a Will is only for death planning. You would needsomething besides the Will to provide protection and give authorityduring your lifetime.

For many years, people used the combination of a Will for deathplanning and a durable power of attorney for giving authority to someonein case they became incapacitated. This worked for a long time. Today itmay work, or it may not. The problem is that in the last several years, manybanks and others have elected not to honor powers of attorney. By law, apower-of-attorney is not legally required to be honored by anyone. It ispurely voluntary. If the bank gives out your money based on a cancelleddocument (but the bank didn’t know it was not good), then the bank has torepay the money to your account. It's easier and safer for the bank to justnot honor any power of attorney.

The delays required by statute make the probate process somewhatlengthy. Using a properly funded Living Trust, no probate is required andthere is little if any legal involvement after a person passes away. Thefamily's privacy can be preserved by avoiding probate, because the probatefile at the Chancery Clerk's office is open to the public for viewing (andcopying) at any time.

With a Living Trust, there is no need for a power of attorney because ifyou should become incapacitated, then your spouse or a person you've

named in your Trust will automatically take over for you and manage youraffairs without the necessity of any court involvement. So a power ofattorney is not needed. Again, at such time as you pass away, your assetswill be distributed through your Living Trust just the way you have saidyou wanted without the necessity of probate. And, of course, thisdistribution through your Living Trust is private.

So why doesn't everybody have a Living Trust? Two reasons are: First,many people don't know about a Living Trust, or if they know about itthey make the incorrect assumption that you have to be wealthy to need aLiving Trust. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, a modestestate will suffer a larger shrinkage from a percentage standpoint throughthe cost of administration than will a larger estate. Secondly, peopleassume that a Living Trust estate plan costs more to prepare than just aWill. When done properly, a Living Trust estate plan includes a collectionof anywhere from 10 to 20 different documents. Notice that this is an"estate plan," not just a Living Trust document. This is not really a "do-it-yourself" activity. A Living Trust does not require any extra tax returns orannual maintenance.

It is sad that so few people have an estate plan of any kind in place,whether centered on a Will or a Living Trust. One survey found that over70% of American people don't have any estate plan in place. Please put inplace a good plan for your estate, regardless of what documents youchoose to use. It's not just for when you pass away, it's also for whileyou're living. It will give you great peace of mind. And it is truly a lovingthing to do for your family. They will thank you for it. Y

A Living Trust or A Will?


CD

Getty Music announcesthe release of the first livealbum from Keith andKristyn Getty, which wasrecorded at The GospelCoalition in Orlando, FL,this past spring, features13 previously releasedsongs along with a newtune, “Lift High the Nameof Jesus.”

Keith and Kristyn GettyLive at The Gospel Coalition is comprised of severalperformances occurring during the 5-day conference thatincluded sermons from such well-known speakers as TimKeller, Senior Pastor of Redeemer Church in New YorkCity/Author; John Piper, Founder/Teacher ofdesiringGod.org; and Don Carson, Research Professor ofNew Testament at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Kellersays, “The 2013 Gospel Coalition National Conferenceblended the spoken Word and the sung Word in anunforgettable way. Substantive expositions of the Biblicaltext were interwoven with the Getty’s’ theologically richworship hymns. Together they truly did ‘tune our hearts tosing His grace.’”

The Gettys are in their homeland of Northern Irelandspending time on a songwriting sabbatical andreconnecting with family and friends. When they return tothe States in late August, they will begin rehearsals for a falltour in support of the new project that will run September-November and crisscross the country. For continuedupdates for Keith and Kristyn Getty please visit online atwww.gettymusic.com. Y

Keith and Kristyn Getty Liveat The Gospel Coalition

The Mayflower set sail fromDartmouth, England on September 6,1620, carrying a mixed group ofpassengers to the New World. We allknow of their terrible voyage, theirreasons for leaving their home, and thehardships they faced in their newcountry. But mostly we remember themfor the yearly custom of Thanksgiving,which they passed down to us.

Or do we? The First Thanksgiving byRobert Tracy McKenzie shatters most of our long heldconceptions of Thanksgiving and the Pilgrims, giving us anew thoroughly researched picture. This portrait may notshow the expected black-dressed and buckled Pilgrims,turkey, or Native people wearing war bonnets, but leaves usmuch to contemplate.

The first chapters explain the various possible approachesto history, set the historical context, and take a closer look atthe Pilgrims themselves. The author’s main focus is onhistory, but he does not neglect the spiritual lessons we cangain from the past. Nor does he hesitate to point out wherewe can become guilty of idolizing the Pilgrims.

McKenzie’s writing is engaging and approachable for awide readership. Consider the book for teens looking for adeeper understanding of the past. From the menu at the firstThanksgiving to how the Pilgrims became a standard part ofour yearly celebration, McKenzie brings out a multitude offascinating facts for anyone interested in history, though you may want to pass on his suggestion that, “If you’restriving for authenticity, try serving turnips and eel next Thanksgiving.” Y

Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and formerChristian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needsthrough the written word. You can reach her through herwebsite www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

The First ThanksgivingReviewed by Susan E. Richardson

BOOK

➺rave reviews

Finding the Right Fit for You

Michelle Whitaker

Independent Insurance AgentP.O. Box 54174 | Pearl, MS 39288

601.954.1620 | [email protected]

Specializing in Medicare Supplements, Life & Health


JACKSONNovember 5-7Mississippi Opera presents The Old Maid andthe Thief at Duling Hall, 622 Duling Avenue.7:30 p.m. Tickets available at the door and at the MS Opera office.601.960.2300.

November 5-9Mississippi Agriculture and Forestry MuseumHarvest Festival! A family event at the museumcomplex at 1150 Lakeland Drive. 601.432.4500.

November 6-9The Junior League of Jackson presents itsannual Mistletoe Marketplace, a three-dayshopping extravaganza. With more than 100merchants from across the nation, special eventsoccur each day. Mississippi Trade Mart at 1200Mississippi Street. Admission charge varies.800.380.2870 orwww.mistletoemarketplace.com.

November 76:30 p.m. Jackson Medical Mall FoundationCommunity Reinvestment Awards presentsJackson State University’s MADDRAMA,“Remembering Motown.” Jackson Medical MallThad Cochran Center. Tickets $35.www.jacksonmedicalmall.org

November 9Join friends of the Spencer Perkins Center at theHilton Garden Inn at 6 p.m. for their annualawards banquet and fundraiser, “Black, White,and Reconcile.” Tickets and sponsorshipsavailable at [email protected].

November 9MS Coliseum. Run, Run, Rudolph! 5k/10kRun/Walk Sponsored by Chevy Dealers LocalMarketing Association as a part of MistletoeMarketplace special events. 7:30 a.m. $30registration fee includes admission to Mistletoeand t-shirt.

November 11Mississippi Children’s Museum presents ShakeOut the Sillies, a program designed toencourage fitness and instill an active lifestyle inparticipating children. An interactive program,the instruction is fun and covers a wide range of

fitness activities. 11:00 a.m. at the museum2145 Highland Drive. 601.981.5469.

November 14 – 17Mississippi Coliseum 7:30 p.m. Disney on Ice:Princesses and Heroes. Box Office:601.353.0603 or www.ticketmaster.com.

November 22-23Handworks Annual Holiday Market at theMississippi Trade Mart. Opens at 9 a.m. eachday. General admission $7. Children under 12free. Group packages available for $5 perperson (12 person minimum).www.handworksmarket.com.

November 2312K Holidays Charity Run benefits the GoodSamaritan Center. Race begins on Old CantonRoad at Duling Street and goes through thehistoric Fondren neighborhood. Events include12K run, 5K run/walk or free kids one-mile funrun with Santa. 601.355.6276 orwww.Christmas12k.com.

November 30Mississippi Children’s Museum’s Louis LeFleurTrading Post Kickoff! Join MCM for SmallBusiness Saturday and shop local to check theholiday list twice! The Trading Post will havespecial promotions all day, such ascomplimentary giftwrapping, coffee, andcookies. Marshall Ramsey and other local writersand illustrators will be on hand that day forbook signing opportunities.

PEARLNovember 9Cunningham Heights Community Festival atTrinity Baptist Church, 2610 Napoleon Drive.Family fun event from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. willinclude games for kids, professional wrestlingshow, horseshoe pitching, car show, live music,and information on fraud and identity theftprevention. Free hot dogs. Bring your lawnchairs and enjoy!

➺N

OV

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013

events calendar November 17Harvesting Healthy Choices 5K Run forChoose Life. 3:00 p.m. start time. $20 entryfee includes t-shirt and gift certificates.Sponsored by College Drive Church, 110College [email protected]

RIDGELANDNovember 2Hearts of Compassion orphan care ministry ofColonial Heights Baptist Church hosts a Family5K and Fun Run/Walk. Race begins at 8:00a.m. at Colonial Heights, 444 Northpark Drive.Packets can be picked up November 1.www.colonialheights.org/heartsofcompassion or call 601.956.5000.

November 3The Mississippi Chorus holds a concert at 4:00p.m. at St. Columb’s Episcopal Churchfeaturing Gabriel Faure’ Requiem. 550Sunnybrook Road. www.mschorus.org

MADISONNovember 16-January 5Christmas on Icesponsored by BaptistHealth Systems. Iceskating, events,concerts, partyvenue. Open daily at401 Baptist Drive.$15 daily pass. Forinfo and daily eventschedule, visit www.christmasonice.com.

CANTONNovember 23 – December 23Enjoy a Victorian Christmas on the CantonSquare. See why Canton is the “City of Lights.”Merchants Open House on November 23.Carriage rides, carousel, vintage car rides, andmuch more. Contact Canton Welcome Centerat 800.844.3369 for more information.

VICKSBURGNovember 29 - December 8Vicksburg Theatre Guild presents Amahl andthe Night Visitors. Fridays and Saturdays 7:30,Sundays 2:00 p.m.www.vicksburgtheatreguild.com. Y


NORTH STATE ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL

5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206

Dr. Jeb CadeDr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jonathan FaulknerDr. Melisa McLendon

OFFICE HOURS:Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm

Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pmSunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

601-982-8261Boarding & Grooming Services Available

➺quips & quotesADVERTISING PARTNERS PAGEApple Annie's Gift Shop ..........................................32Ballet Magnificant .....................................................46Baptist Health Source...............................................10Behavioral Health Specialists, LLC...........................20Belhaven University.....................................................5Blue Cross Blue Shield of Mississippi ......................39Callaway's Yard & Garden........................................17C Spire .........................................................................3Chandelier Luxury Linens .........................................21Christ Covenant School............................................41Christian Leaders of the Future Ad.........................51Christmas on Ice .......................................................33Community Bank ......................................................46Comprehensive Pain Center (Dr. Kevin Vance) ......45Covenant Caregivers ................................................12DORE.........................................................................25Energy Insulation.......................................................48EyeCare Professionals...............................................17First Presbyterian Day School ..................................21French Camp Academy............................................46Gameroom Gallery ...................................................19GI Associates.............................................................15Grantham Poole Certified Public Accountants ......46Greenwood Holiday Events .....................................43Handworks Holiday Market........................................2Highland Village........................................................21Hope Carr Art ...........................................................36Jackson Academy .......................................................2Jackson Heart............................................................32Jackson Orthopaedic Clinic, P.A..............................21Jackson Preparatory School.....................................25Kent's Cajun Kitchen ................................................14Law Firm of William B. Howell, Ltd. ........................47L.D. O'Mire Financial Services .................................36Maine's Best Kept Secret.........................................30Methodist Rehabilitation Center .............................43Michelle Whitaker .....................................................48Mississippi Air Express..............................................25Mississippi Children's Museum................................34MWG Senior Services...............................................35Mulberry Dreams ......................................................32Neblett's Frame Outlets, Inc....................................37New Summit School .................................................31N. State Animal Hospital..........................................50O! How Cute Gift Market...........................................8Peggy Keady, Glimpses of Glory.............................35Persnickety ................................................................31Pennington & Trim Alarm Services, Inc...................19Private Collection Consignment Boutique .............16Ray's Fine Linens.......................................................32Shades Sunglasses & Casual Apparel .....................44Sitters, LLC ................................................................25Southern Accents, A Gift Boutique.........................34Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company....45St. Andrews Episcopal School .................................29St. Catherine's Village...............................................13St. Dominic's Healthy Weight Advantage.................9Star 93.5 FM..............................................................37Stegall Imagery .........................................................39Summit Counseling...................................................16Sunnybrook Estates ..................................................18Tay Morgan Designs.................................................41TEC Security..............................................................30The Waterford...........................................................15Tinnin Imports..............................................................7The Veritas School ....................................................36Transformations River Oaks .....................................52Trustmark ...................................................................23Wright & Ferguson Funeral Home..........................41Written in Stone, LLC ...............................................31

ADVERTISER INDEX

Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!{ }

In ordinary life wehardly realize that wereceive a great deal morethan we give, and that itis only with gratitudethat life becomes rich.”

– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

✂Now Faith, in the sense in which I amhere using the word, is the art of holdingon to things your reason has onceaccepted, in spite of your changingmoods. For moods will change.

– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Jesus Christis the sameyesterdayand todayand forever.

– Hebrews 13:8

In our daily lives, we must see that itis not happiness that makes usgrateful, but the gratefulness thatmakes us happy.

– Albert Clarke

For God is not aGod of disorderbut of peace.

– I Corinthians 14:33

When we live with an attitudeof generosity, it can be a keyaspect of our legacy and acharacteristic that will show upagain and again in the branchesof our family tree.

– Dave Stone

For we will all standbefore God's judgmentseat. It is written: " 'Assurely as I live,' says theLord, 'every knee will bowbefore me; every tonguewill confess to God.' "

– Romans 14:10-11

God is our refuge andstrength, an ever-presenthelp in trouble. Thereforewe will not fear, thoughthe earth give way andthe mountains fall intothe heart of the sea.

– Psalm 46:1-2

It’s harderto dislikesomeoneyou pray foron a regularbasis.

– Dave Stone

The world won’t be changed by those whotake a weekly class. It will be changed bymen and women who sit daily at the feet ofJesus, listening to His Word.

– Wayne Cordiero, The Diving Mentor

What we’re really talkingabout is a wonderful day setaside on the fourth Thursdayof November when no onediets. I mean, why else wouldthey call it Thanksgiving?

– Erma Bombeck

How wonderful it would be if we could help our children andgrandchildren to learn thanksgiving at an early age.Thanksgiving opens the doors. It changes a child's personality. Achild is resentful, negative—or thankful. Thankful children wantto give, they radiate happiness, they draw people.

– Sir John Templeton

And whatever you do,whether in word or deed, doit all in the name of the LordJesus, giving thanks to Godthe Father through him.

– Colossians 3:17

WE ARE LOOKING FOR CHRISTIAN STUDENTS WHO WALK IN FAITH,

HONOR THE LORD, AND LEAD WITH INTEGRITY.

sponsored by:

Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company

CHRISTIAN LEADERS OF THE FUTURE is an opportunity for high school seniors to share their story of faith and leadership and receive a scholarship toward their college tuition.

Applications and instructions are available at www.metrochristianliving.com or through your school counselor. Visit Christian Leaders of the Future on Facebook for updates! Deadline for applications is December 6, 2013.

APPLICATIONS MUST BE RECEIVED BY DECEMBER 6, 2013For More Information contact: Metro Christian Living | 601-790-9076 or [email protected]

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Comprehensive Weight Management, Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Center

When you’re ready to lose the extra weight, our team of medical professionals can help. We’ll discuss weight

loss options (surgical and nonsurgical), customize a nutrition program and give you the support you need to

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It can change your life.

SEMINAR:

To attend a FREE seminar

about our program, call

1-877-907-7642

or visit our website:

TransformationsRiverOaks.com.

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November 2013 Metro Christian Living

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