OFFERING PRESENCE

OFFERING PRESENCE

Part 2. OFFERING

OFFERING PRESENCE !2

‘OFFERING’ KEY CONCEPTS

! InTouch ! Sharing Suffering ! Structured Mutuality ! Peers Holding Hope/ The 5 Ps ! The Advice Vice ! Helpful Sharing ! Reflecting the Question ! Permission and Caveating ! Seeing Transformation/Seeking Growth

PRACTICING

VALUES

EXPLORING

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !3

Mindfulness in practice: Finding your InTouch

!sitting/breathing !walking/breathing !dropping in to self !Who is showing here? !What is around? !Finding InTouch

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !4

Mindfulness moment / Listening to Suffering

!Intend presence !walking/breathing !dropping in to self !Who is showing up?

(Opening the door) !What is around? (the window)

OFFERING PRESENCE

Lived experience The way of OFFERING

Copyright 2017 Eduardo Vega

OFFERING PRESENCE Day 5 ---- Connecting to Hope

The 3 rules of ADVICE

!1. Never give advice

!2. Never give advice

!3. Never give advice

!Offer suggestions when you have been asked for advice AND you can follow the 3 rules of Offering

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !7

OFFERING

How do we share our experience and be sure it is helpful?

• OCQI

Offering, Clarifying, Qualifying, Inquiring

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !8

OCQI TWO STREAMS

1. Peer Requests insight/advice2. Ally Offer without request

OFFERING PRESENCE Day 5 ---- Connecting to Hope

1.REQUESTED OCQI

OFFER BY REFLECTING THE QUESTION:“Yes my journey has included some similar experiences. Are you asking me to share that with you?”

CLARIFY (intention): “OK I’m going to share some of my experience/story etc. in hopes it will help you” QUALIFY (Caveat)• Our situations are different (time/place etc.)• the solutions I found may not be right for you• I am not offering advice

INQUIRE• Return the stage asap• How does that relate to your situation? (OE)• Is that helpful at all? Tell me how. (OE)

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !10

OFFERING without a request

A. Avoid !B. Check in with self/ Be clear about your

intentionC. Can be useful if conversation has frozenD. return the Peer to the stage ASAP!

2. OCQI NOT REQUESTED

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !11

OFFER BY REFLECTING THE QUESTION

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !12

CLARIFY INTENTION and REQUEST

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !13

QUALIFY (caveats) CAVEAT EMPTOR– let the buyer beware

CAVEAT- a warning or proviso of specific stipulations, conditions, or limitations.

• My role is not to give advice though I can offer suggestions • My suggestions may not apply• You may want to check with someone else about this

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !14

INQUIRE • Return the stage with an

open-ended question • How does that related to

your situation?

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !15

Your turn!!

Role Play

Peer in Pain wants to know how you got through your intensity

Use the OCQI process before sharing your story

Remember you are taking the stage

OFFERING PRESENCE Day 5 ---- Connecting to Hope

ADVICE!The 3 rules of Advice !1. Never give advice !2. Never give advice !3. Only offer suggestions when you have been

asked for advice AND you can follow the 3 rules of Offering

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !17

THREE RULES for SUGGESTIONS!ONLY: when you have been asked for advice/

suggestions 1. You have REFLECTED THE QUESTION AT LEAST

ONCE 2. You have CLARIFIED THE REQUEST that the peer

has been asked for suggestions 3. You can CAVEAT sufficiently

OFFERING PRESENCE OFFERING PRESENCE !18

Your turn!! Role Play Peer in Pain experiencing intensity

Kicked out of house

No money

Wants to die

Use OCQI and 3 rules of advice

OFFERING PRESENCE

CLOSING INQUIRY