Published by Al-Anon District 11 August/September 2014 1 FIRST DUCK ─ VICTIM STORY Once upon a time there was a little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead and when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad, she was horrid. More than once did she ─ let me redefine, I ─ try to flush my mother’s jewelry down the toilet. Things never went well for me in my family. I am the second of 4 kids. My father, an active alcoholic and womanizer, was later fired by the very law firm he founded. My mother, the co-dependent, in fact selected my father’s next wife. My mother may have birthed me, fed me, and clothed me, but she gave me nothing from her heart such as feelings, or affections, or interest. She may have loved me, but I knew she didn't like me; isn’t that the reason she screamed at me and pushed me down the stairs? Everywhere but home was safe. I became an early run-away. Well, that is my VICTIM STORY and I am stickin’ to it! Then, one day, my Sponsor gifted me with a treasure: a God Box that she had created. Inside were all the Al-Anon slogans. I was invited to pluck one out and live my life accordingly. I picked... SECOND DUCK ─ LET GO AND LET GOD I had already turned my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him. So I had a conversation with God and asked that my Victim Story be taken away. In that next still moment God said, “It is not for me to take away. Patsy, it is for you to give up!” The message was clear. I needed to tell a new story rather than be told by an old one. But how? THIRD DUCK ─ NEW STORY One of the lessons Al-Anon taught me was that to truly connect with you, my Al-Anon family, I must first connect with myself and feel my feelings. I must become vulnerable. Well, I have very strong feelings about my AGING. Let me explain: Using my measuring tape, (I pull it out to 100 inches), I have already lived three quarters! I have lived 75% of my life! I have only one quarter left! Today, instead of being told by my old story I tell a new story. And at the end of each day, I ask myself: How well did I love? How fully have I lived? How deeply did I 'Let Go and Let God'? One Day at A Time Stories of recovery, news, and fun in the Marin County Fellowship My New Story 1 "Roommates...?" 2 D-11 Day in Al-Anon 3 News ─ Check it Out! 4 My New Story Patsy I placed my three little ducks on the podium at the 2014 Convention to represent the three parts of my share for the convention theme, Stumbling Blocks To Stepping Stones.
Transcript
Published by Al-Anon District 11 August/September 2014
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FIRST DUCK ─ VICTIM STORY Once upon a time there was a little girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead and when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad, she was horrid. More than once did she ─ let me redefine, I ─ try to flush my mother’s jewelry down the toilet. Things never went well for me in my family.
I am the second of 4 kids. My father, an active alcoholic and womanizer, was later fired by the very law firm he founded. My mother, the co-dependent, in fact selected my father’s next wife. My mother may have birthed me, fed me, and clothed me, but she gave me nothing from her heart such as feelings, or affections, or interest. She may have loved me, but I knew she didn't like me; isn’t that the reason she screamed at me and pushed me down the stairs? Everywhere but home was safe. I became an early run-away. Well, that is my VICTIM STORY and I am stickin’ to it!
Then, one day, my Sponsor gifted me with a treasure: a God Box that she had created. Inside were all the Al-Anon slogans. I was invited to pluck one out and live my life accordingly. I picked... !SECOND DUCK ─ LET GO AND LET GOD I had already turned my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood him. So I had a conversation with God and asked that my Victim Story be taken away. In that next still moment God said, “It is not for me to take away. Patsy, it is for you to give up!” The message was clear. I needed to tell a new story rather than be told by an old one. But how? !THIRD DUCK ─ NEW STORY One of the lessons Al-Anon taught me was that to truly connect with you, my Al-Anon family, I must first connect with myself and feel my feelings. I must become vulnerable. Well, I have very strong feelings about my AGING. Let me explain: Using my measuring tape, (I pull it out to 100 inches), I have already lived three quarters! I have lived 75% of my life! I have only one quarter left! Today, instead of being told by my old story I tell a new story. And at the end of each day, I ask myself:
How well did I love? How fully have I lived? How deeply did I 'Let Go and Let God'?
One Day at A Time Stories of recovery, news, and fun in the Marin County Fellowship
My New Story 1 "Roommates...?" 2 D-11 Day in Al-Anon 3 News ─ Check it Out! 4
My New Story Patsy
I placed my three little ducks on the podium at the 2014 Convention to represent the three parts of my share for the convention theme, Stumbling Blocks To Stepping Stones.
Parenting a Young Addict?
Verena R.
Something to remember which has been very helpful for me when my daughter used to call and accuse me of abandoning her or not loving her was to practice "Ruthless Compassion". It's also called detaching with love and it was taped to my refrigerator for a very long time:
Another note was also taped to my telephone for a long time:
I practiced those two versions probably 6-12 months until it finally sunk in. That takes a lot of patience, but it will work eventually.
SWEATING THE SUMMER SUN WITH "ROOMMATES"?!?
!"I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, I ALWAYS WILL, AND
I AM DEFINITELY NOT ABANDONING YOU. ALL I
AM DOING IS CREATING AN OPPORTUNITY FOR
YOU TO GROW AND TAKE ON YOUR OWN
RESPONSIBILITIES."
"If you have something positive to say to me, I will listen, otherwise I will hang up."
House Rules Leslie R.
• Family obligations: We live in Grandma’s house. So, be especially respectful of her – you are not in your own apartment. Be patient. Be kind.
• Meals together: Please let us know if you will not be joining us for dinner. Dinner is at 7 p.m. If you are joining us, help out in the kitchen, cooking, setting, and cleaning up.
• Use of a vehicle: We are sharing my car while you are home. Talk to me, let me know your needs. Often I need the car in the day and you need the car in the evening. Respect my car. Leave it clean, refill the tank if necessary.
• Scheduling and/or going to medical and dental appointments: I can give you the phone numbers you may not have, if you need my help scheduling, please ask for it. Take care of yourself, you are important!
• Curfew: You don’t have one. However, if you say you are getting home before midnight and it runs later, please text me, to respect my serenity. Also, if you are not coming home, please check to see when I will need the car in the morning.
• Friends visiting: Love it! They are welcome. • Chores: I have made a list. Please check
them off as you do them and keep track of your time and expenses. Thank you!
• Getting up in the morning: Yep! Please be up by 10 a.m. It is in the morning that communication about the day happens and I want you to be part of that.
• Drinking, smoking, drug-use: Refrain from using in this house or in my car. If you are going to a party and use, call a cab, call me, or spend the night.
• Communication: “ Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean.” Know that you can choose to excuse yourself from conversations. Keep your sense of peace and know you are loved.
• Your room: While you are here your bedroom is your space. I will respect your privacy. I will not come in to straighten or clean. I will not enter without your permission. I ask that you leave your room as you found it upon departing.
• I am so glad that you are visiting home and thank you for respecting these house rules.
"OH HONEY, I AM SO SORRY YOU FEEL THIS
WAY, I REFUSE TO LET YOUR URGENCY
BECOME MY EMERGENCY!" I HAVE TO GO
NOW - I LOVE YOU - BYE!" Click
Published by Al-Anon District 11 August/September 2014
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Being of service is in my DNA, so it was not surprising when I volunteered to chair the DIA for the past few years. I wanted to give back to the program that has given so much to me. I received much more than I gave; fellowship and friendship with many who I saw at meetings, but never had the opportunity to get to know. Working with the committee chairs and their volunteers was enlightening and refreshing. The Day In Al-Anon provides great experiences, from wonderful speakers I’ve never heard to workshop leaders and panel discussions. There are breaks and time to talk at dinner which brings a stronger connection for those who attend. being the DIA Chair and working with the team has been a fulfilling and satisfying experience which I encourage others to take part of in the future.
Brenda G.
DISTRICT 11 2014 DAY IN AL-ANON
Chairing Registration for the DIA was a great opportunity to feel part of the fellowship and to connect more with my fellow members. I really appreciated how everyone stepped up to freely and generously offer help to one another. It was truly a team effort!!
Linda B.
DISTRICT 11 2014 DAY IN AL-ANON
Published by Al-Anon District 11 August/September 2014
District 11 AMIAS & those considering work w/teens - I encourage you to attend the Sponsors R&R September 19-21. From experience last year, the R&R does not stand for "rest & relaxation"- it's more like "recharge & rally" and It's my opinion that this is a vital part of AMIAS service
There will not be alateens at this event. focus is on the Alateen (& Alakid) program. Just up the road at Westminster Wood,s Occidental, CA
Contact Darby, Adam or me if you need funds to attend- and/or talk to your groups about it.
Together, we can strengthen our Alateen in Marin... Let it begin with me....
With love & joy ─ Kim
SPANISH SPEAKING MEETING ¡El grupo “Nuevo Amanecer” les invita a su reunión! Domingos 9:30 a 11 de la mañana Alcohol Justice, 24 de la Calle Belvedere Teléfono: Mercedez 415-892-6031
Alt. Diversity Coordinator
Open Service Positions Ask your GR for info.
Book Depot Position. Dalit @ 415 233-0013. Meet others....
Website Coordinator
Tim 415 328-6100 Work w/WSO &
NCWSA
Happy Anniversary ODAT! One full year of "Thank You, Thank you!" to all who've contributed & served. We're currently on hiatus for feedback. Please advise your GR or [email protected]. This isn't a "did we do well," but a matter of budget. Does D-11 want a hardcopy newsletter?
Institutions
Coordinator
Alakid Coordinator see Darby
Published by Al-Anon District 11 August/September 2014
