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Operate Your Own Home-Based H-Bomb Business

 By

Dr. Mind Detergent, Esquire

8/3/2019 Operate Your Own Home-Based H-Bomb Business

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These are hard times financially. The federal reserve is deflating thevalue of our money on purpose and giving all the resulting proceedsto fat cat bankers in foreign countries. As a result, there are a lot of unemployed scientists laying on the couch with nothing to do. It gets

very depressing watching soap operas all day with your hand downyour pants, drinking cheap Hamm's beer, smoking weed with your dog, and waiting for the first image of a mushroom cloud to appear on CNN. It gets really boring after awhile. What is needed in asituation like this is a little assertiveness training.

Making one's own H-bomb is really taking the bull by the horns.Once achieved, expect to make lots of money, get lots of job offers,and win the respect of the entire neighborhood. And you will bequite surprised how politely people begin to treat you.

It's called“taking charge.” Nuclear power was invented by God, thus it isgood, and was therefore meant to be possessed by all human beings, on anindividual basis. But for this to happen, a new technology must be developedwhich will allow even individuals whom may be a little short in the wallet to

  join the nuclear club. It is only a matter of will and determination, notfinances or connections, that can lead to a successful H-bomb construction.

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Sure, even mentioning that such a technology could be developedmay eventually result in the complete destruction of planet Earth andthe end of all life, but if it means protecting the American way of life, I'm willing to take that chance. No risk, no reward.

Whether you intend to provide your neighborhood a little extra  protection against crime, or maybe sell your technology to thegovernments or to concerned citizen groups, H-bomb production iscertainly highly valued, prestigeous and lucrative as hell.

1. Finances and Timeline

The nuclear weapons technology I will sketch out in this self-help manualought to be achievable for less than $100,000 if one is initially unequipped,

 but probably could be achieved for less than $5,000 if you happen to knowsomeone that works in a medical lab or even better, a researcher at auniversity, and you play your cards right. That's a lot of bang for the buck if you think about it.

Probably just a few college classes in biological sciences or biochemistry is

all one would really need to effectively understand and even carry out thenecessary research. If one works really hard, expect to take as little as twoyears to develop and mobilize your neighborhood's nuclear forces.

However, if you know someone learned about genetic engineering and  biochemistry, then it could possibly take less than six months. Anintermediate knowledge of physics would also be helpful.

 Now this is still a somewhat technical approach, but far less difficult tounderstand than the traditional, overly-complicated and expensiveengineering approach to building an H-bomb. I think we can do much better.You will need the participation of a scientist, but small groups, such as your neighborhood association, can at last now financially afford their own nuclear arsenal. And a good one at that. H-bombs having explosive yields in excessof 500 megatons ought to be possible.

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2. BATMAN

The Bacterial Mutual Assured Nuclear Destruction System, or for short, theBATMAN system, is an international distributed system for assuring that all

neighbors treat themselves politely and with mutual respect. BATMAN will be delocalized, and available to nearly all citizens wherever in the world theymay be.

Unlike the foolish policies of the past, like the restrictive and silly policy of non-proliferation that caused more problems than it solved, the idea behindthe BATMAN system is that nuclear weapons technology would better servemankind if a policy of complete proliferation was followed instead. Every

 person on Earth should have access to their own H bomb arsenal. Such a

 policy promises to bring about great improvements in interpersonal relations,and a more caring and fair world, and one without energy problems.

In this emerging picture, no person will actually know who has access to anH bomb and who does not. No person shall be quite sure who is a member or not a member of a group that has an H bomb. Surely, this world is about to

 become a lot more polite and caring.

The BATMAN system is a biological system for constructing anuclear H bomb in-place and consists of three main aspects:

 Aspect 1: Bioleaching of naturally occurring Uranium-235 from verydiffuse sources (without the need for Uranium mines).

 – refinement of U-235 using the enzymatic isotope effect.

 – this solves the world energy problem and war.

 Aspect 2: Uranium-235 recovery through chemotaxis. – Possibly exocytosis depending on strain used.

 Aspect 3: Rapid removal of shielding from bins containing Uranium-235 nuggets allowing critical mass to be reached, thereby causinghydrogen atoms to fuse and the H bomb goes boom.