THIS TO THISIN SIX EASY STEPS!

Are you SICK and TIRED of your friends, making fun of your embalming work?

You suck!

Huh?

Not to worry! In these six easy steps, YOU TOO can mummify those bodies

with CONFIDENCE!

REMOVE THE ORGANS AND DEHYDRATE THE BODY

Step 1: remove everything. Step 2: pour natron everywhere.

After the body is cleaned, cut a hole around 10-15 cm in the abdomen and remove every single organ except the heart. This way when he is resurrected, he can use his heart again for the Weighing of the Heart ceremony.

After removing everything cleanse out the inside with a mixture of palm wine and myrrh. Then, pour natron all over the body – under, over, all around, so you can’t see the body. Let the body sit there for 35-40 days.

REMEMBER: The organs must be placed in the correct canopic jars! Also, remember to soak the intestines in natron, until dehydrated. Wrap them in linen as well.

LIVER: The jar of Imsety

LUNGS: The jar of Hapy

STOMACH: The jar of Duamutef

INTESTINES: The jar of Qebehsenuef

AFTER THE NATRONAfter you wait the designated thirty-five to forty days, you’ll

have exactly what looks like a mummy without the bandages – a dried out, blackened, shrivelled body. Now, rub the body with the oils to make the skin softer, and fill the body with sawdust, rags, chaff and even mud to plump up the body. Place some painted-on onions in the eye sockets to create some ‘eyes’ and put on a wig.

GETTING THE COFFINOnce you are done wrapping, the coffin should be coming. If

the deceased were wealthy enough, they could have as many as 3 coffins fitting all together like Russian nesting dolls. Make sure that each coffin has all the correct spells painted on them, to protect the spirit. However, make sure there is room for the hieroglyphics that praise the mummy and his/her good deeds. Once the coffins are done, they should all be placed inside the large stone sarcophagus.

ESSENTIALS AT A FUNERAL

1) Mourners 2) Your entire family 3) The Priest

How to Preserve a Mummy is a limited liability corporation. Not liable for financial loss, property damage or bodily harm. Not

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