Date post: | 13-May-2015 |
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Spiritual |
Upload: | alan-shelby |
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Perfecting Our Parenting
Direction Out of DysfunctionProverbs 24:3-4
An Experiential Exegesis of the Plight
of Step-Parenting1. One of the
greatest parenting challenges that exists is trying to be a step-parent
An Experiential Exegesis of the Plight
of Step-Parenting2. It is harder
to manage a home when the children arrived before the marriage
An Experiential Exegesis of the Plight
of Step-Parenting3. When we discuss perfecting
our parenting, we are referring to many different kinds of family configurations
Thesis:•We insist on a strictly
biblical model for families, and not all families in the Bible were simple nuclear configurations.
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
1. Issues of relational management
Point 1.
•Step-families don’t have a family tree; they have a family forest!
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
1. Issues of relational management
2. Issues of managing loss
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
1. Issues of relational management
2. Issues of managing loss3. Feelings of guilt, failure and
grief are compounded over time and get dragged into the early days of a blended family
The 3G Strategy
A. Grieve the lossB. Grant forgivenessC. Get on with life
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
4. The parent-child relationship predates the couple relationship, and that naturally produces rivalry, jealousy and competition
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
5. Relationships with stepchildren develop slowly, especially in the first two years
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
5. Relationships with stepchildren develop slowly, especially in the first two years
6. Adding the Ex-factor complicates an already complex situation
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
7. Blended families receive far less emotional, physical and spiritual support from the church, their families and friends, than do “normal” nuclear couples
Challenges to Blended Family Functionality
7. Blended families receive far less emotional, physical and spiritual support from the church, their families and friends, than do “normal” nuclear couples
8. Probability of a step-family breakup is 55 to 75 percent, and are 50% more likely to fail than a first marriage
Handling Up on Blended Family
Business
1. Slowly, prayerfully, and
carefully pick the person you are going to parent
with
Handling Up on Blended Family
Business
2. If you are married to the
biological mother or father of some
or all of your kids, use Bible
principles to make the marriage work
Handling Up on Blended Family
Business3. If you are now blended in your
family, view it providentially, and recognize the fact
that you are charged by God with a
responsibility to perfect your
parenting biblically
Element of Encouragement #1.
•Parenting a blended family is hard, but endure hardness, because it is supported by God’s providence.
Element of Encouragement #2.
• In order to succeed you are going to have to activate God’s providence by prayer.
Element of Encouragement #3.
•Prayer will enable you to be persistent by allowing you to gain perspective.
Element of Encouragement #4.
•As you do what Jesus did, you will be empowered with a radical vision, strategy and sacrificial love to do the same.
Point 2.
•One of the most important qualities you can have as a parent in a blended family is teachability.
Seven Strategies for Success
1. Advance as a team
Seven Strategies for Success
1. Advance as a team2. Avoid step-parent
bashing
Seven Strategies for Success
1. Advance as a team2. Avoid step-parent
bashing3. Admit the truth on
issues of discipline
Point 3.
•You can always come to a negotiated solution by walking to the center from the extremes.
Seven Strategies for Success
4. As your kids age you have to out-think them
Seven Strategies for Success
4. As your kids age you have to out-think them
5. Acknowledge that relationship precedes setting rules
Point 4.• If you go out of control
because your child or your spouse will not do what you want them to, then you have lost control of the one thing you were to maintain control over during their disobedience.
Seven Strategies for Success
6. Appreciate everything until further notice
Seven Strategies for Success
6. Appreciate everything until further notice
7. Appeal to a higher authority