Part 5Part 5

I Want a Good I Want a Good

MarriageMarriage

Malachi 2:13-16Malachi 2:13-16

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

Another thing you do: You flood the Another thing you do: You flood the

LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and

wail because he no longer pays attention wail because he no longer pays attention

to your offerings or accepts them with to your offerings or accepts them with

pleasure from your hands. pleasure from your hands.

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD

is acting as the witness between you and is acting as the witness between you and

the wife of your youth, because you have the wife of your youth, because you have

broken faith with her, though she is your broken faith with her, though she is your

partner, the wife of your marriage partner, the wife of your marriage

covenant. covenant.

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

• All sorrow is not All sorrow is not beneficialbeneficial (2:13a-c) (2:13a-c)

• Three things they did that did not work:Three things they did that did not work:

• You flood the LORD’s altar with tearsYou flood the LORD’s altar with tears

• You weepYou weep

• You wail You wail

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

• God is not God is not payingpaying attentionattention and He is not and He is not

pleasedpleased (2:13d-e) (2:13d-e)

……he no longer pays attention to your he no longer pays attention to your

offerings or accepts them with pleasure offerings or accepts them with pleasure

from your handsfrom your hands

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

• God does what He does for a God does what He does for a reasonreason

You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD

is acting as the witness between you and is acting as the witness between you and

the wife of your youth, because you have the wife of your youth, because you have

broken faith with her, though she is your broken faith with her, though she is your

partner, the wife of your marriage partner, the wife of your marriage

covenant. covenant. (2:14)(2:14)

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

• Three titles of a wife to describe the Three titles of a wife to describe the

relationship between a husband and a relationship between a husband and a

wife that God desired:wife that God desired:

• Wife of your Wife of your youthyouth

• Your Your PartnerPartner

• Wife of your Wife of your marriagemarriage covenantcovenant

StrifeStrife with my with my spousespouse causes causes strifestrife with my with my GodGod (2:13-14) (2:13-14)

• There were two motives for violating the There were two motives for violating the

marriage: or “breaking faith”.marriage: or “breaking faith”.

• MoneyMoney!!

• SexSex!!

My marriage relationship My marriage relationship is is GodsGods ideaidea

Has not the LORD made them one? In Has not the LORD made them one? In

flesh and spirit they are his. And why flesh and spirit they are his. And why

one? Because he was seeking godly one? Because he was seeking godly

offspring. (2:15)offspring. (2:15)

My marriage relationship My marriage relationship is is GodsGods ideaidea

• Marriage was Marriage was createdcreated by God for His by God for His

purposepurpose..

““In the beginning, God created the In the beginning, God created the

heavens and the earth. Now the earth heavens and the earth. Now the earth

was formless and empty, darkness was formless and empty, darkness

covered the surface of the watery depths, covered the surface of the watery depths,

and the Spirit of God was hovering over and the Spirit of God was hovering over

the surface of the waters.”the surface of the waters.” (Genesis 1:1-2) (Genesis 1:1-2)

My marriage relationship My marriage relationship is is GodsGods ideaidea

• Marriage was Marriage was createdcreated by God for His by God for His

purposepurpose..

““Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth…”Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth…”

(Genesis 1:27)(Genesis 1:27)

My marriage relationship My marriage relationship is is GodsGods ideaidea

• Has not the LORD made them one? In Has not the LORD made them one? In

flesh and spirit they are his. And why flesh and spirit they are his. And why

one? Because he was seeking godly one? Because he was seeking godly

offspring. (2:15)offspring. (2:15)

• The point is your marriage is not about The point is your marriage is not about

you! It was created by God for His you! It was created by God for His

purpose!purpose!

Bottom Line:Bottom Line:

• God is serious about me God is serious about me staying staying in my in my

marriagemarriage

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do So guard yourself in your spirit, and do

not break faith with the wife of your not break faith with the wife of your

youth. youth.

Guard your spirit…Guard your spirit…

• Live the secret of Live the secret of contentmentcontentment: God calls : God calls

you you toto something… not something… not fromfrom something! something!

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment is within the Contentment is within the POWERPOWER of of

CHOICECHOICE. .

"I have learned to be content whatever the "I have learned to be content whatever the

circumstances." circumstances." (Philippians 4:11)(Philippians 4:11)

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment has nothing to do with Contentment has nothing to do with

POSSESSIONSPOSSESSIONS. .

"Though the fig tree should not blossom,"Though the fig tree should not blossom,

And there be no fruit on the vines,And there be no fruit on the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail,Though the yield of the olive should fail,

And the fields produce no food,And the fields produce no food,

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment has nothing to do with Contentment has nothing to do with POSSESSIONSPOSSESSIONS. .

Though the flock should be cut off from the Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,fold,

And there be no cattle in the stalls,And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord,Yet I will exult in the Lord,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation I will rejoice in the God of my salvation

(Habakkuk 3:17-18)(Habakkuk 3:17-18)

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment increases when my Contentment increases when my TIMETIME

WITHWITH GODGOD increases. increases.

"I envied the arrogant when I saw the "I envied the arrogant when I saw the

prosperity of the wicked. prosperity of the wicked.

They have no struggles; their bodies are They have no struggles; their bodies are

healthy and strong. healthy and strong.

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment increases when my Contentment increases when my TIMETIME

WITHWITH GODGOD increases. increases.

They are free from the burdens common They are free from the burdens common

to man; they are not plagued by human to man; they are not plagued by human

ills.ills.

All day long I have been plagued;All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning. I have been punished every morning.

Three Observations on Three Observations on ContentmentContentment

• Contentment increases when my Contentment increases when my TIMETIME

WITHWITH GODGOD increases. increases.

When I tried to understand all this,When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me till I entered the it was oppressive to me till I entered the

sanctuary of God; sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny. "then I understood their final destiny. "

(Psalm 73:3-5; 13-14; 16- (Psalm 73:3-5; 13-14; 16-

17)17)

Three Things to Watch Out ForThree Things to Watch Out For

• SELFSELF--PITYPITY - takes the joy out of a - takes the joy out of a

relationship.relationship.

• BLAMEBLAME- focus on what is wrong; not on - focus on what is wrong; not on

who is wrong.who is wrong.

• RESENTMENTRESENTMENT - even if directed to - even if directed to

someone other than a spouse, is always someone other than a spouse, is always

detrimental to a marriage.detrimental to a marriage.

Do not “break faith…”Do not “break faith…”

• Keep Keep cleanclean!!

““I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of

Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering

himself with violence as well as with his himself with violence as well as with his

garment,” says the LORD Almighty. garment,” says the LORD Almighty.

So guard yourself in your spirit, and do So guard yourself in your spirit, and do

not break faith.not break faith.

Keep Keep cleanclean!!

• AbuseAbuse is a violation of your marriage is a violation of your marriage

covenant.covenant.

• Learn to handle Learn to handle conflictconflict!!

• The number one predictor of divorce is The number one predictor of divorce is

the habitual the habitual avoidanceavoidance of conflict. of conflict.

How to deal with tense moments:How to deal with tense moments:

• Don't Don't RunRun - Repressed irritations have a - Repressed irritations have a

high rate of resurrection.high rate of resurrection.

• ChooseChoose Your Your BattlesBattles Carefully - learn Carefully - learn

what can and should be changed.what can and should be changed.

• DefineDefine the Issue Clearly - Ask yourself the Issue Clearly - Ask yourself

these questions:these questions:

• What are we really arguing about?What are we really arguing about?

How to deal with tense moments:How to deal with tense moments:

• What is the real source of our What is the real source of our

disagreement?disagreement?

• State Your Feelings State Your Feelings DirectlyDirectly - Practice the - Practice the

X, Y, Z FormulaX, Y, Z Formula

• "In situation X, when you do Y, I feel Z""In situation X, when you do Y, I feel Z"

• Rate the Rate the IntensityIntensity of Your Feelings of Your Feelings

How to deal with tense moments:How to deal with tense moments:

• Give Up Give Up PutPut--DownsDowns- Too often we are - Too often we are

more polite to acquaintances t an we are more polite to acquaintances t an we are

to our mates.to our mates.

• Don't Dwell on Don't Dwell on DownersDowners - try to end the - try to end the

fight and end the fight.fight and end the fight.