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Confidence in Any Weather: Saying No & Managing Difficult Calls
Confidence in Any Weather: Saying No & Managing Difficult Calls
AGENDA
Introductions
Group Agreements
Types of Difficult Calls
Tools of the Trade
Saying “No”
Self-Care
GROUP AGREEMENTS
Confidentiality
Step up, Step back
Take care (breaks, stand up, etc.)
Be OK with non-closure
Assume the best
Speak your truth
People first, respectful language
What one word comes to mind when you hear “Difficult Call”
DIFFICULT CALLERS V. DIFFICULT CALLS
We tend to identify the Caller as being “Difficult”. Once we do that we become judgmental. This places us at odds not only with the Caller but with ourselves and our basic training. We
start to view the situation as something being done to us, and then we are no longer “interacting” but are reacting. We forget or, more pragmatically, fail to admit that feelings of
helplessness and frustration can and do result from certain types of calls. In addition, viewing the Caller as difficult introduces the danger that someone in actual need may not
receive the full benefit of the services the agency is able to offer.
John Plonksi “Working With Difficult Interactions”
Hopelessness
Unproductive
Demanding
Mental Health
Intoxication
Literacy/communications complications
Donor / Stakeholders
Distracted
Inappropriate/Harassment
Abusive / Angry
Asking Demographics
Limited Resources/Saying No
Crisis
WHAT MAKES A CALL “DIFFICULT”?
TOOLS OF THE TRADEKnow yourself
Remain non-judgemental
Know when to listen/interrupt
Limit “I” statements
Focus on the feelings
Tone!
Confidence!
Scripting
Be Honest - when to say “No” and end the call
Boundaries - Don’t take things personally
Meet the caller where they are at
Effective pauses
Be kind
Active Listening
Express empathy
Empathy Video
Scripting for Asking Demographic Questions“Do you mind if I ask you some questions we ask all of our callers?”
“I’m happy to look for resources for you, while I’m doing that, can I go over some demographic questions that will help me find the right resources for you?”
(If a caller asks why they have to answer) “These are standard questions we ask all of our callers. They help me determine what resources will work for you, and help us learn more about the needs of our community”*
Don’t apologize.
ACTIVITY
SAYING “NO”
Barriers to resources, such as transportation, financial means, resource availability, language, etc. come up for I&R specialists all the time. A big part of our job is telling people that we don’t have a resource that fits what they need exactly. It’s important that we are honest with our callers, but we never leave people with a simple ‘no’. We are problem solvers, and do our best to provide hope.
UNMET NEEDSRent / Affordable Housing
Energy assistance
Dental care
Burial/Funeral cost assistance
Storage unit fee assistance
Long distance travel
Shelter space (pets, adult couples, etc)
Transportation
Home care/maintenance
REALITY CHECK
I&R agencies are often the first point of entry for people looking for social services. It’s our job to prepare people for the reality of the day, and that may mean that their future looks different than they thought it would. That’s not an easy thing to do, but it can save your callers a lot of time and is the compassionate thing to do so that they can start making progress on getting their needs met.
CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVINGEvery I&R agency will have their own guidelines about creative problem solving. The best thing to do is ask!
“I’m not able to find resources for X (rent, electric bill, etc.) in our database at this time. Can I look for resources for other bills you may have so that you could possibly rearrange how you’ll budget your money this month?”
“What have you done in other difficult situations when you’ve felt really upset?”
“Do you have any friends or family who have helped you in the past or might have some ideas for you or are you a part of a faith based or other community group?”
FALSE HOPEAvoid the temptation to provide a bad answer just so you can feel better about having an answer.
Services you know your caller isn’t eligible for
Services you know are out of funding
Outside suggestions like churches
Guaranteeing services that aren’t guaranteed
ACTIVITY
Success story from Southern Oregon:
“In the Rogue Valley, we had a high demand from callers who had lost their Oregon Health Plan because they became Medicare eligible. Since Medicare doesn’t cover dental the ADRC had quite a few callers who needed dental care with no resources to give them. One of the major problems is that although that health clinic offered a sliding scale fee they wanted the money up front which most low income callers couldn’t do. We were able to take the data that we recorded on ADRC and present that to one of our major health clinics and show them that there was this huge need in our senior population. As a result, that health care clinic started a Senior Dental Scholarship program that grants up to $500 in free dental work plus seniors are able to make small monthly payments on any work that is not covered by the $500.”
SELF CARE
BURNOUTCauses of burnout:
Multiple chronic stressors over an extended period of time
Work-related stressors
Lack of community
Taking on too much/not delegating or prioritizing
Vicarious trauma
Signs of burnout:
Exhaustion
Lack of motivation
Trouble concentrating
Inability to show up
Frustration, cynicism, negativity
Physical symptoms/increased illness
VICARIOUS TRAUMADefinition: “The trauma experienced by those in proximity to, but not actually experiencing, the problem.”
Other terms for vicarious trauma are: provider fatigue, compassion fatigue, and/or secondary trauma. They all refer to the same experience of having exhausted hearts, minds, bodies, and souls from helping people in crisis through their painful experiences.
It develops over time.
It’s a normal response.
Protective Gear: Self-Care
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR YOU?
