Personal BehaviorLesson 1, Chapter 21 Common Courtesies and Etiquette.

Personal Behavior Lesson 1, Chapter 2 1

Common Courtesies and Etiquette

Common Courtesies and Etiquette

Personal Behavior Lesson 1, Chapter 2, Common Courtesies and Etiquette

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Chapter overviewChapter overview• Common courtesies and etiquette

• What are etiquette and manners?• How should you make introductions?• How should you dine in public?• How should you handle social gatherings and

formal occasions?• What public courtesies should you observe?• What hygiene and grooming basics should you

observe?


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Chapter overview (cont’d)Chapter overview (cont’d)• Managing stress

• What is stress?• What causes stress?• How does stress affect teens?• How can you manage stress?• How can you manage your time to reduce stress?• How can you use good study habits to prevent

stress?


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Chapter overview (cont’d)Chapter overview (cont’d)• Behaving positively

• What are decisions and goals?• What is the decision-making process?• Why and how should you set goals?• What are good interpersonal communication

skills?• How can you eliminate communication

barriers?


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Chapter overview (cont’d)Chapter overview (cont’d)• Mental and emotional health care

• What are emotions?• What are the most productive ways to express

emotions?• What are emotional needs?• What are some typical mental health disorders?• How can you prevent suicide?• When and how should a person seek professional

mental health help?• What are the various methods of therapy?


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Chapter overview (cont’d)Chapter overview (cont’d)• Avoiding and preventing violence

• What is violence?• How are gangs, weapons, and drugs related

to violence?• How can you protect yourself from violence

and help prevent violence?• How can you protect yourself from rape?


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MotivationMotivation• Today, we’ll learn

some common courtesies, the basics of etiquette, and how to handle any social situation with confidence.


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Lesson overviewLesson overview• What are etiquette and manners?• When should you make social

introductions?• What is the protocol for a receiving line?• How should you make personal

introductions?• How should you make introductions in

informal situations?


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Lesson overview (cont’d)Lesson overview (cont’d)• When and how should you shake hands?• What are the expected manners and

courtesies before eating?• What is a formal dining table setting?• What are the American and European styles

of eating?• How should you use silverware?


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Lesson overview (cont’d)Lesson overview (cont’d)

• How should you eat finger foods and soup?• How should you use napkins?• What are the basics of table manners?• How should you make conversation during

meals?• How should you handle formal social

invitations?


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Lesson overview (cont’d)Lesson overview (cont’d)• How should you dress for an event?• What responsibilities do you have to the

host?• How should you write thank-you notes?• What public courtesies should cadets

observe?• What hygiene and grooming basics should

cadets observe?


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Quick WriteQuick Write• What do you think are good

rules and practices for courtesy and etiquette? Make a list of at least six things that you do to maintain courtesy and etiquette in your everyday life.


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What are etiquette and manners?

What are etiquette and manners?

• Etiquette—code of behavior or courtesy based on rules of a polite society.

• Manners—socially correct ways of acting as shown in widespread customs.

• Both are based in common courtesy, sincerity, and consideration for others.


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When should you make social introductions?

When should you make social introductions?

• You should introduce two people when you realize that they don’t know each other.

• At formal military receiving line functions, a designated person may be assigned to introduce everyone.


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What is the protocol for a receiving line?

What is the protocol for a receiving line?

• Receiving line—a group of people who stand in line and welcome guests attending a function.


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What is the protocol for a receiving line? (cont’d)


• At a military event, the receiving line includes

• The host (SASI or commander of the unit holding the reception)

• The spouse or guest of the host• The ranking honored guest, with his or her

spouse or guest• Other dignitaries with their guests


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• Cadets and guests go through receiving line when they arrive.

• For couples, lady goes before gentleman.• Adjutant may make introductions.• Gentleman tells adjutant lady’s name and his own.• If alone, individual gives name to adjutant.• Adjutant introduces attendees to host.• If no adjutant, gentleman makes introductions.• Guests and host shake hands, exchange greeting.


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How should you make personal introductions?

How should you make personal introductions?

• Keep introductions simple and direct.• Introduce juniors to seniors.• Introduce gentlemen to ladies.• Introduce parents to teachers.• Use the correct title when introducing

someone to a dignitary.• Stand up to acknowledge an introduction.


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How should you make introductions in informal

situations?

How should you make introductions in informal

situations?• Use first names except for adults,

seniors, or other important people.

• Remember names.

• Start a conversation or excuse yourself.

• Introduce yourself if there is no one to make the introduction.


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When and how should you shake hands?

When and how should you shake hands?

• All gentlemen and all JROTC cadets shake hands when introduced.

• Shake hands whenever someone extends a hand to shake.

• You do not have to shake hands at the end of a conversation.


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When and how should you shake hands? (cont’d)

When and how should you shake hands? (cont’d)

• How to shake hands• Brief• Firm and warm clasp• Eye contact

• Do not• Shake violently• Grasp too tightly• Shake for a long time• Offer only fingertips


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What are the expected manners and courtesies before

eating?

What are the expected manners and courtesies before

eating?• Gentlemen sit after all ladies at the table are seated.• A gentleman may hold the chair for his guest and

then for other ladies near him if ladies outnumber men.

• Sit up straight at the table.• Do not touch anything on the table until after the

blessing.


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What is a formal dinner table setting?

What is a formal dinner table setting?


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What are the American and European styles of eating?


• American style (“zigzag” style)• Hold fork in left hand, tines down.• Put index finger on back of fork.• Use fork to secure food to be cut.• Hold knife in right hand.• Cut no more than two or three bites of food.• Put knife down.• Move fork to right hand and eat.


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(cont’d)


(cont’d)


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(cont’d)


(cont’d)

• After finishing your main course• Place knife and fork beside each other on

dinner plate from 10:00 to 4:00.• Server will know that plate may be removed.


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(cont’d)


(cont’d)


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(cont’d)


(cont’d)• European style

• Hold fork in left hand.• Hold knife in right hand.• Cut food with knife.• Eat food with fork.• Keep fork in left hand.• Keep knife in right hand.• Cut and eat only one bite of food at a time.


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How should you use silverware?How should you use silverware?

• Don’t• Put used silverware back on the table• Leave spoons in cups or bowls (put them on

saucers or plates, instead)• Lay a knife or fork half on a plate and half on

the table• Touch silverware you don’t use


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How should you eat finger foods and soup?

How should you eat finger foods and soup?

• To eat soup• Move the spoon away from you to fill it.• Sip from the side of the spoon.• Don’t slurp.• Tip the bowl away from you.• If soup is too hot, wait for it to cool.


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How should you eat finger foods and soup? (cont’d)


• Foods that you can eat with your fingers• Bread, rolls, biscuits• Nuts• Fresh fruit• Olives• Radishes, raw carrots• Cookies, small cakes


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• Place finger foods on the bread plate.

• Break (don’t cut) your serving of bread into pieces before buttering it.

• Butter and eat the pieces one by one.


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How should you use napkins?How should you use napkins?• Do not

• Tuck your napkin under your belt• Wear your napkin like a bib• Blow your nose on your napkin

• Do use your napkin to• Dab your lips• Catch spills• Cover sneezes


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How should you use napkins? (cont’d)

How should you use napkins? (cont’d)

• If you need to leave the table during dinner• Excuse yourself.• Leave your napkin on your chair.

• When you leave the table at the end of dinner• Place your napkin to the right of your plate.• Push your chair to the table.


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What are the basics of table manners?

What are the basics of table manners?

• Don’t move or remove place cards.• Eat politely.

• Take small bites.• Don’t chew with your mouth open.• Don’t make loud noises while you eat. • Don’t talk with food in your mouth.• Excuse yourself if you burp.• Don’t put personal items on the table.• Keep your hands and arms off the table.


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What are the basics of table manners? (cont’d)


• Use silverware to pick up food that spills on the table.

• If something drops to the floor, pick it up after the meal.

• If you drop your silverware, ask the server to replace it.

• Taste your food before you season it.• Hold a long-stemmed glass at the base of the

bowl or on the stem.


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• Don’t ask to take food home.

• Don’t scold a server.

• Don’t pick food out of your teeth.

• Don’t leave before the host and the honored guests.

• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.


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How should you make conversation during meals?


• Do not talk too quickly or too slowly.

• Keep the conversation light.

• Avoid controversial or private topics.

• Answer respectfully when addressed.

• Do not talk with food in your mouth.


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(cont’d)


(cont’d)• Do not yell or use profane, abusive, or

vulgar language.

• Be a good listener.

• Don’t interrupt.

• Don’t laugh at others.

• If you must disagree, do it respectfully.


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How should you handle formal social invitations?

How should you handle formal social invitations?

• The invitation should tell you• What you are invited for• Where it will be held• When you should be there• What you should wear


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How should you handle formal social invitations? (cont’d)


• R.S.V.P.—reply to the hosts to let them know if you will attend

• You may decline the invitation if you have other plans.

• To decline, explain that you have a conflicting duty or social engagement.

• Use good judgment for the invitations you refuse.


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• Plan your timing so you can be punctual.• For dinners and receptions, arrive at the time

on the invitation.• For weddings, arrive before the time of the

ceremony (listed on the invitation).• At an open house, you are not expected to

stay for the entire event.• After a dinner party, stay at least an hour.


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How should you dress for an event?

How should you dress for an event?

• Formal• Gentlemen: tuxedo or uniform equivalent;

suit may be acceptable• Ladies: evening gown


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How should you dress for an event? (cont’d)

How should you dress for an event? (cont’d)

• Informal• Gentlemen: sport coat and tie• Ladies: daytime dress or nice pants suit

• Casual• Gentlemen: nice slacks and sports shirt• Ladies: sundress or nice pants and blouse


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What responsibilities do you have to the host?

What responsibilities do you have to the host?

• Greet the host immediately.

• Let the host run the event.

• Make conversation.

• Join activities.

• Thank the host when you leave.


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How should you writethank-you notes?

How should you writethank-you notes?

• Send the note within two or three days.

• Use nice writing paper.

• Use the proper format.

• Make the note at least three paragraphs.

• Don’t invite yourself back.

• Use your own voice.


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How should you writethank-you notes? (cont’d)

How should you writethank-you notes? (cont’d)

• Use correct grammar and spelling.• Be neat.• Don’t send thank-you notes as a group.• If you’re on a planning committee for a

Military Ball, send thank-you notes to everyone who helped.

• Use block style to address the envelope.


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What public courtesies should cadets observe?

What public courtesies should cadets observe?

• Phone courtesies• Don’t call during meal hours.• Let the phone ring six times.• Identify yourself when you call someone.


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What public courtesies should cadets observe? (cont’d)


• When talking on the phone• Be polite.• Speak slowly and clearly.• Don’t eat, drink, or chew gum.• Don’t talk to someone in the room.• If a call you placed gets disconnected, call right back.• Say “May I ask who is calling?” instead of “Who is this?”• If you dial a wrong number, apologize and hang up.• Leave a clear message.


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• Do not use a cell phone when you are• In school• At social gatherings or appointments• Eating meals• Driving• Inconveniencing or disturbing others• In many public places


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• If an older woman or gentleman wants your support, offer your arm.

• Do not offer your hand unless you cannot offer your arm.• Hand holding in public is not appropriate.• Offer your hand palm up.

• Gentlemen walk on the curbside or to the left of a lady.


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• Opening doors for others• Gentleman who reaches the door first holds

the door for others.• If a lady opens a door, a gentleman may hold

the door for her to continue.• In cars, open and close the door for your

guest.


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• Being responsible for your guest• Tell your guest about traditions and courtesies.• Discuss appropriate dress.• You are responsible for your guest’s behavior.• Introduce your guest to your friends.• Be sure that your guest is not left alone at an event.


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• Treat all people with the utmost respect.• Respect military seniors, elders, parents,

teachers, and people in authority.• Do not use slang or poor grammar.• Do not address seniors by their first names.


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• Chewing gum• Chew quietly and inconspicuously in public.• Do not chew gum

• In formal situations• At work• If you are hosting• If you are around food


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• Waiting in line• Don’t be noisy.• Don’t push ahead.• Wait your turn.


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• Be polite in conversation.• Use the following sincerely

• Please• Thank you• You’re welcome• Excuse me• I’m sorry• I beg your pardon

• Do not say, “Pardon me.”


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What hygiene and grooming basics should cadets observe?What hygiene and grooming

basics should cadets observe?

• Be well-groomed.• Hair should be clean and neat.• Shower and use deodorant daily.• Brush and floss daily.• Young men should shave as often as

necessary.• Cadet uniforms should be clean, pressed, and

presentable.


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Lesson reviewLesson review• Etiquette is a code of behavior or

courtesy based on rules of a polite society.

• Manners are socially correct ways of acting as shown in widespread customs.

• Make introductions when you realize that two people don’t know each other.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• A Military Ball’s receiving line includes

the host and honored guests.

• All cadets go through a Military Ball’s receiving line.

• In a receiving line, people shake hands and exchange simple, pleasant greetings.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Keep personal introductions simple and

direct.

• Introduce juniors to seniors.

• Use a dignitary’s title when making an introduction.

• Introductions in informal situations may be casual.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• You may use first names in an informal

situation unless you are referring to an adult, a senior, or another important person.

• After making an introduction, help start a conversation or excuse yourself.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• All gentlemen shake hands when

introduced.

• All Air Force JROTC cadets shake hands when introduced.

• Shake hands whenever someone extends a hand to you.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• A proper handshake is brief, but the

clasp should feel firm and warm. Maintain eye contact.

• Gentlemen help seat ladies before eating.

• Dinner guests do not touch anything on the table until after the blessing.


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Lesson review (cont’d) Lesson review (cont’d) • A formal dining table setting includes

silverware for each course of the meal.• The American style of eating requires

you to move the fork from hand to hand.• The European style of eating requires

you to hold the knife in your right hand and your fork in your left hand.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Do not place used silverware back on

the table.• Leave unused silverware on the table in

its proper position.• Do not slurp soup.• Certain foods such as bread, nuts, and

fresh fruit may be eaten with your fingers.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Break servings of bread into pieces

before buttering and eating them.

• Use your napkin to dab your lips, catch spills, and cover sneezes.

• Take small bites. Excuse yourself if you burp.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Keep hands, arms, and personal items

off the table.

• Say good-bye to everyone at your table.

• Keep conversation at the table polite, light, safe, and non-controversial.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Respond to a formal social invitation

within two or three days.

• If an invitation does not tell you how to dress for an event, ask the host or hostess.

• When you arrive at a social event, find and greet the host or hostess first.


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Lesson review (cont’d) Lesson review (cont’d) • Find the host or hostess to say thank

you and good-bye when you leave.

• Send thank-you notes within two or three days of attending a social event.

• Write thank-you notes on writing paper.


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Lesson review (cont’d)Lesson review (cont’d)• Observe public courtesies in all

situations.

• Shower daily and be sure that your hair is neat and clean.

• Brush and floss daily.

• Young men should shave as often as necessary to be presentable.


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SummarySummary• What are etiquette and manners?• When should you make social introductions?• What is the protocol for a receiving line?• How should you make personal

introductions?• How should you make introductions in

informal situations?


73

Summary (cont’d)Summary (cont’d)• When and how should you shake hands?• What are the expected manners and

courtesies before eating?• What is a formal dining table setting?• What are the American and European styles

of eating?• How should you use silverware?


74

Summary (cont’d)Summary (cont’d)• How should you eat finger foods and soup?• How should you use napkins?• What are the basics of table manners?• How should you make conversation during

meals?• How should you handle formal social

invitations?


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Summary (cont’d)Summary (cont’d)• How should you dress for an event?• What responsibilities do you have to the

host?• How should you write thank-you notes?• What public courtesies should cadets

observe?• What hygiene and grooming basics should

cadets observe?


76

NextNextDone— Common courtesies and

etiquette

Next— Managing stress

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Personal BehaviorLesson 1, Chapter 21 Common Courtesies and Etiquette.

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