Personal MasteryJide Williams

ObjectivesPersonal MasteryLeadershipVictory Voices Next Levels

Mastery

EmotionalMastery

PhysicalMastery

TimeMastery

Relationship

Mastery

What is Mastery?Mastery:Personal MasterySocial Mastery

Personal

Mastery

SocialMaster

yMaster

y

Understanding Yourself“Self-Knowledge is best learned not by contemplation but by action. Strive to do your duty, and you will soon discover of what stuff you are made off” – Jonathan Goethe

Talent

Need

Conscience

PassionVOICE

Unique personal significance

Self Assessment SOWT Analysis

What are your Opportunities? They come because of your strength.

What are your Threats? Might be imminent because of your weakness.

Every SWOT analysis should be followed by a scup (Strengthening, Correcting, Utilizing, and Preventing) process.

SCUP provides the strategic action steps for sustainability

It is true that strength should be worked on and improved. But it is more critical to consider weaknesses too, by correcting them.

SCUPING Strategy

STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES OPPORTUNITIES THREATS

Speaking Disorganized Facilitation Bankruptcy

Writing Inconsistent Publishing Distrust

Motivated Reactionary Spiritual Projects Poor relationships

SWOT- Sample

STRENGTHS STRENGTHENING Speaking Improve presentation skills and dictation and

attend trainings Practice daily

Writing Read widely Attend training

Motivated Identify mentors Daily encourage self

WEAKNESSES CORRECTING Disorganized Identify problem areas

Develop life plan Time management courses

Inconsistent Identify principles and reasons to act Exposure to consequences (learning the hard

way) Reactionary Avoid issues that create reaction, get trained OPPORTUNITIES UTILIZING Facilitation Start facilitating Publishing Write for business magazines

Editing opportunities Spiritual Projects Active participation in spiritual activities THREATS PREVENTING Bankruptcy Plan and be focused Distrust Speak less, listen more Poor Relationships Place more value on people

Communicate real intentions positively.

SCUP - Sample

Visioning

• What do you understand by a vision ?• Why is it important to have a vision?

The future that you cannot picture, you cannot feature in it.

Vision is seeing with the mind’s eye. It the picture of a credible, beautiful, realistic future, in people, tasks, in projects etc.

Visioning

All things are created twice.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein. Vision will always engender purpose.

What would you be remembered for when you leave the choir?

Vision enables us to transcend our autobiography, our past to rise above our memory.

What do you see about yourself?

What matters most is how you see yourself and others

Emotional MasteryWhat is emotions and its purpose?Emotional HijackHow to manage toxic emotions

AngerYou always have the Choice to act wisely or react unintelligently

Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. Prov. 29:11 NLT

A hot-tempered man starts fights and gets into all kinds of trouble. Prov. 14:17

Definitions of AngerAnger is strong emotion of irritation or agitation that occurs when a need or expectation is not met.

Anger is the most seductive of the negative emotions, and it is the feeling people are worst at controlling. It is the most intransigent.

Anger Cycle

Degrees of AngerIndignation: is simmering anger provoked by something appearing unjust or unworthy and often perceived as justified.

Wrath: burning anger accompanied by a desire to avenge. Wrath often moves from the emotion of anger to the outward expression of anger

Degrees of AngerFury: fiery anger so fierce that it destroys common sense. It has the capacity to harm and destroy.

Rage: Blazing anger resulting in loss of self-control, often to the extreme of violence and temporary insanity.

Misuse of AngerPeriodically, everyone feels the heat of anger, but how you handle it determines whether you are misusing it. The small flame that lights a cosy camp fire if left unchecked can become a conflagration.

Misuse of AngerProlonged Anger-the “Simmering Stew” :

This kind of anger is held in for a long time. Resulting from an unforgiven heart from some past offense

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up and causes you trouble, or many of you will become defiled”. Heb. 12:15 ISV

Misuse of AngerPressed Down Anger-the “The Pressure Cooker” : This denied or hidden anger. Resulting from a fear of facing negative emotions.

It creates a deceitful heart, and lead to untruthfulness with others.

“For the person who wants to love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit”. 1Pet 3:10 ISV

Misuse of AngerProvoked Anger -“The Short Fuse” :

This Anger is quick and impatientInstantly irritated or incensed. Manifest in criticism and sarcasm under the guise of teasing.

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools”. Ecc. 7:9 NIV

Misuse of AngerProfuse Anger -The “Volatile Volcano” :

This Anger is powerful, destructive and hard to control

Manifest in violence and abuse towards others.

Manifest in criticism and sarcasm under the guise of teasing.

Characteristics of AngerAnger Cues: The Human Body has a physical reaction when it experiences anger. The Anger cues can alert you when you are beginning to feel anger

Characteristics of AngerAnger Cues: Examples

Do you have tense muscles?Do you have increased perspirationsDo you use loud, rapid or high pitch speechDo you practically shut down – Silence?

Characteristics of AngerAnger Cues: Examples

Do you clench your teeth?Do you use inappropriate language, harsh words?

Do you twitch or exhibit anxious behaviors (tapping pencil, shaking foot)?

Does your mouth get dry?Do you pace back and forth?

Symptoms of Unresolved Anger

Anger as an emotion is not a problem in itself. Anger becomes a problem when left unresolved.It has a repercussion on your body – healthIt damages relationshipsIt affects your spirituality

Symptoms of Unresolved Anger

Examples of physical symptoms of anger.High Blood PressureHeart Disease, as a resultStomach DisordersIntestinal disorders as a resultHeadachesBlurred VisionInsomniaCompulsive eating

Symptoms of Unresolved Anger

Examples of Emotional symptoms of anger.AnxietyFearBitternessInsecurityCompulsionsHatredDepression Phobias

Symptoms of Unresolved Anger

Examples of Spiritual symptoms of anger.Loss of Perspective: Emotions distorting your thoughts

Loss of Vision: Losing a sense of purpose for life

Loss of Sensitivity: You can no longer connect with your creator

Loss of Energy: Lacking Strength for service to God and Humanity

Symptoms of Unresolved Anger

Examples of Spiritual symptoms of anger.Loss of Freedom: Becoming a slave of your circumstance

Loss of Faith: Failing to trust that God is working in your life

Loss of Identity: Becoming like the person toward whom you are bitter

Loss of Energy: Lacking Strength for service to God and Humanity

Causes of AngerThere are basically four sources of anger:

Hurt: Your heart is woundedInjustice: Your Rights are violatedFear: Your Sustainability/Future is threatened

Frustration: Your performance is not accepted

How to Overcome AngerFirst be come self-aware:

Analyze your angerWhat is the source of your angerWho are you angry with

How to Overcome AngerAppraise your Thinking:

Learn to challenge your thinking – give benefit of the doubt

Mitigating information should be introduced early in the anger cycle

How to Overcome AngerAbandon your demands:

Do not depend on man to meet your inner needs of love, significance and security

Address your Anger: Determine if it is really justified:Would it serve a good purpose if you mention it?Is it really fare to be angry on the issue?

Cooling down: cooling off physiologically by waiting out the adrenal surge caused by anger thus de-escalating it. While cooling of you put brakes on the thoughts that escalate anger, by seeking out distractions

Avoid catharsis – giving vent to rage

Note: Lashing out at people may sometimes provoke positive actions, when it restores a sense of control or rights an injustice for instance, but the decision to discipline someone shouldn’t be taken during the moment of anger-CMAD

Physical MasteryNutritionExerciseWaterSunshineTemperanceAirRestTrust in God

Relationship Mastery

Influencing People

InfluencePerformance Management needs a high level of influencing skills to achieve result

Motivation is a driver of influenceAuthoritarian style of leadership will not helpYou will need another kind of skill-set to influence someone towards a set of self-defined objectives

InfluenceWhat we have to recognize is that in other to influence others, we need to:

Understand what motivates or drive them

There are different influencing strategies. You need to understand the impact of those strategies on ourselves and others

Basic Influencing Style Before using any of the influencing styles, we first need to be

1. Clear on the outcomes you want to see2. Analyse the situation you are facing3. Seek to get the perspective of others.

Apparent

Basic Influencing StylesLogic and Data AnalysisAggressiveUse of StatusFriendship & EmpathySupportive ApproachListening/ questioning to obtain opinions/ views

Being open and revealing oneself

InfluenceIn any influencing situation, it is the person who possesses the greatest flexibility in the range of styles that will succeed in influencing the other person.

Mastering Poor Performers

Overview of Poor PerformanceUnderperformance, or poor performance, is when an employee isn't doing their job properly, or is behaving in an unacceptable way at work. It includes:

Problem

Person

ExcuseGiver

SlowLearne

r

FaultFinder

Inept

Giving Negative Feedback SuccessfullySince feedback recognizes success, or incompetence about someone's professionalism, its important it is accurate

Feedback can of course be based on clear performance standards or opinions. With the latter, it must be based on facts, if not, conflict or dispute may arise

Giving Negative Feedback SuccessfullyStart with a positive commentBe specific and focus only on the individual’s behaviour

Describe the eventUse I statement

Giving Negative Feedback SuccessfullyAsk whether the other person can see your point of view

Don’t Overload – Research shows that people can only handle three pieces of negative feedback in one session

End with a Positive Comment

Receiving FeedbackAvoid Selective hearing how;Listen First postpone any initial reactionBe clear about what’s been saidProbe until there is something you can act onCheck with others to verify the validity of the comments

10 Golden Rules of FeedbackOffer feedback on what you saw not what you think

Offer description of what you saw and how you felt

Focus on behaviour which can be changedSelect behaviours or issues that are critical – limit your self to those

10 Golden Rules of FeedbackAsk questions of the other person, rather than make statements

Establish the ground rules in advance – tell people what yardstick they are being measured with

Comment on the positives and the issues. Be sincereRelate feedback to specific behaviourObserve Personal Limit – don’t overloadBefore offering feedback, consider its value for the receiver.

Finally, remember to keep any negative feedback you give private and confidential – preserve people’s integrity and self-respect

Face-Face Communication

Activity

Attention span is reducing drastically

Facts about communication80% of waking hours are spent in communicating. 45% are spent on listening

After 10 minutes of presentation, we only hear, understand evaluate and retain approximately 50% of what was said. After 48 hours this can fall to as low as 25%

Information InterpretationSelective Hearing – based on past experience

Response to what is heard depends upon interpretation of what is heard

Incorrect interpretation as a result of incorrect hearing, leads to incorrect conclusion and conflict

WATCH OUT – Factors that Limit our capacity to ListenInformation OverloadComplex informationLack of interestDisagreement with information receivedYou don’t like the information giverSelective hearing

How to ListenAvoid selective listening. Question your assumptions

Don’t subject information received to your values or prejudices

Give your undivided attentionShow that you are listeningProvide Feedback – “what I am hearing is”Defer judgmentRespond appropriately

Until People feel heard, they will fight to be heard. But once they are heard, there is little left to fight for, and then we can move on, not as “us vs. them” but simply as “us”HBR ‘How to really Listen’ – Peter Bregman

Understanding the Impact of Non- Verbal Comm.Action speaks Louder than wordsIt carries the real MessageIt should enhance your message not detract from it

Understanding the Impact of Non- Verbal Comm.Vocal cues to be aware of:Volume: attention, authority versus confidence and calm

Pace: Nervousness versus importanceTone: Interest, enthusiasmMumbling: Not being able to assert

Understanding the Impact of Non- Verbal Comm.Impact on Body LanguageNervousnessHostility or defensivenessSighing before conversation