Personal Statement Talk

By MMI UK (Malaysian Medics International United Kingdom)

Speakers: Ang Wan Wei & Joanna Wong

Outline of Today’s Talk

SECTION 1: Tips to write a good personal statement with examples

SECTION 2: A complete example

SECTION 3: Proofreading a (bad) personal statement – 2 examples

SECTION 4: Q&A

SECTION 1Tips to write a good personal statement with examples

Tip 1: First impression is extremely critical

Firstly, get rid of blatant mistakes like bad grammar, spelling errors etc.

Secondly, dress it up. Make more interesting sentences “It was a very good opportunity to learn from medical

students”, VS “It was a fantastic experience being able to be in the

shoes of medical students”

Example 1

Despite being constantly placed under huge pressure, the doctors and their teams were able to deal with their patients with gentleness and great care regardless of ethnicity, wealth or social status. Indeed, medicine is not a glamorous career; it is one which requires great commitment and many sacrifices, but the rewards are even greater as you are able to impact the lives of many. This coincides with my profound interest of enriching the lives of individuals as a calling. Witnessing the paradoxical events of the death of a lung cancer patient and the birth of a child mere moments apart reminded me of how closely doctors deal with life and death in their work.

Tip 2: Thesaurus is your best friend

Highlight words in your personal statement and thesaurus them, checking if there was a fancier way of saying a word

“It was a fast-paced year” VS “It was a momentous year”

Example 2

It is remarkable how the human body is designed with such complexity. In just a single unit, dozens of diverse systems coordinate systematically and harmoniously to produce an unsurpassable organism. Unfortunately, it is not indefectible. Humans are still susceptible to various diseases and illnesses. Personally, the how's and why's intrigued me, while the multifarious treatments and medications fascinated me. In A levels, doing projects on cardiovascular treatments all the more kindled my interest. Coupled with my lifelong desire to know more about science, these reasons have driven me to pursue medicine.

Tip 3: Proofread

Get someone to proofread your work! Preferably someone senior, who has better

command of the language, who has done this before.

This person will be able to point out mistakes you cannot see for yourself.

But more importantly, don’t get too many people to read it either, as too many cooks spoil the broth.

Tip 4: List but don’t list

List: Make a list of traits of yourself that you want to tell the

admissions team

But don’t list: Now, don’t list them eg. “I’m smart, hardworking, responsible,

creative, reliable”.

Tell them about the experiences you had which inevitably demonstrates that you possess these traits!

Eg. “I volunteered in a programme where I taught refugees simple mathematics and English”

This sentence itself already tells you that – you’re helpful, kind, caring.

A little sneaky trick...

An interesting way to say what you learnt from an experience, instead of just saying:

Eg. “I learnt how to be responsible over the way I deliver my lessons to the children” or “I learnt to be concise in the way I presented my thoughts”

Instead, say how difficult you found it to be.

Eg. “I realized through the experience how challenging it was to teach children” or “I learnt that being responsible over the education of 40 children was no easy feat”.

This shows that – you reflect, you realize your shortcomings and areas for improvement, and that you will learn from it.

Example 4

During my free time, I volunteer in a Medical Outreach program that provides healthcare to the urban poor. Through this program, I dealt with patients from various medical backgrounds, some who could hardly speak English in order to obtain their medical histories and symptoms to assist the doctors with their diagnosis. This experience improved my interpersonal skills and opened my eyes to the number of people who are in need of medical care, but can barely afford it.

Example 4 Being the Assistant Head prefect and captain of my

school’s softball team in high school has groomed me to be a leader and a critical-thinker especially when dealing with unforeseen circumstances. These have also enabled me to be a team player while building rapport with people of diverse personalities, which are essential in my future development in medicine. In college, I was a part of the committee of the Model United Nations, where I learnt to present my ideas regarding issues like protecting the rights of refugees in Middle Eastern countries assertively at both inter-college and international conferences.

Tip 5: Cut to the chase

Try putting yourself in the shoes of the admissions team. Contrary to what we hope, our personal statement no matter how unique you try to be, WILL not be unique. They have read thousands of personal statements before, they have probably read something like yours a hundreds of times. So don’t beat around the bush, it’s not a creative writing competition. Be succinct in your writing.

Tip 6: Have a structure in your PS

Usually start with an intro – why you like medicine, what made you interested?

What have you done in terms of reinforcing your interest in medicine (hospital attachments, old folks home etc)

ECAs which enhances your qualities Academic achievements You could also include books/journals you have read or

emphasise on a specific interest you have

Example 6

To further explore medicine, I began to read the BBC news health section regularly. New found favourite books include “The Selfish Gene” by Richard Dawkins and “The Tell-Tale Brain” by V.S. Ramachandran. In the former, I am fascinated by the author’s take on the role of genetics in influencing human and animal behaviours and the evolution of the species. With the latter, I am intrigued by how scientists are able to better understand the human brain by studying unusual neurological symptoms.

Tip 7: SELL yourself as much as possible

Include any ECA/hobbies you have done which displays your qualities, emphasize on every academic achievements as well.

Example 7

In addition, I have a knack in mastering languages.  My multi-language ability includes English, Malay and Arabic. I believe knowing an array of languages can also help me to socialize and deepen my knowledge beyond textbooks and beyond references in English only. I am also learning Mandarin to extend my social networks and to enhance my communication skills to improve my interactions with my future patients from various backgrounds, especially in the context of multicultural Malaysia.

Example 7 It has heartened me, as a student under the

prestigious National Scholarship, to be more aware of the minorities’ misfortunes within and beyond Malaysia. Also, I find my proficiency in English, Mandarin, Malay and basic French a huge advantage in my daily encounters, including my involvement in blood donation drives for the blood bank.Furthermore, I enjoy jogging to keep myself fit and have participated in charity runs like Jog for Hope. Solo vocal performances or in choir and the leisurely playing of the piano, of which I hold a Grade 7 with Merit, are my preferred means for pleasure.

Tip 8: Talk about a specific topic in medicine to be unique

Tell them why you are interested – for eg. In my personal statement I said I was interested in genetics – this also proved to be quite a good strategy as a university asked me about genetics and because I was genuinely interested in it, I could talk a fair bit about the topic. Another thing that I think would be fairly different (but still not unique) is medical ethics (the brits love ethics), or medical law. But once again, only write about them if you’re familiar with the topic (or you can groom yourself to be..)

Example 8

I spend extensive amounts of time reading the latest medical and science journals and articles from various websites.  My specific interest is in genetics as I believe it has immense potential in curing and preventing diseases. My hope in the future is that I would be able to contribute positively to the field by becoming not only a practicing doctor but one that would actively be involved in the research field.

SECTION 2A complete example

Introduction – why medicine? It is remarkable how the human body is designed

with such complexity. In just a single unit, dozens of diverse systems coordinate systematically and harmoniously to produce an unsurpassable organism. Ineptly, it is not indefectible. Humans are still susceptible to various diseases and illnesses. Personally, the how's and why's intrigued me, while the multifarious treatments and medications fascinated me. In A levels, doing projects on cardiovascular treatments all the more kindled my interest. Coupled with my lifelong desire to know more about science, these reasons have driven me to pursue medicine.

What have you done to find out more about medicine? For an early exposure, I signed up for a hospital

familiarization visit. It was fruitful as I was able to visit units such as A&E, Radiology and Pediatrics. As I visited the ICU, although the sights of patients were pitiful, witnessing the caring and compassionate manner of the doctors was truly inspiring. I also visited a patient with atrial fibrillation, which gave me a genuine awareness of the dire consequences of a disease to a person. It opened my eyes to what being a doctor truly entails. Bleak conditions of dismayed patients will be a common sight. That gave me realization that I must acknowledge countless emotional and physical challenges as a future doctor. One must be prepared to accept situations of patients passing and yet, one must never get used to it.

Continue…

Besides, volunteering at an orphanage for two weeks improved my ability to care for and empathize with the unfortunate. As I played games with a child, though she was reluctant at first, she began opening herself up gradually. Her first smile was especially exhilarating. It felt so rewarding that it plastered a huge smile on my face. We were communicating with feelings, as touch alone made her understand my empathy towards her. It was a peculiar experience as I realized that although caring for another requires effort and patience, it comes naturally and best of all, it is fulfilling.

ECA My participation in St. John Ambulance also instigated

my will to be a medicine practitioner. Going on duties, I have cultivated my communication and interpersonal skills as I actively conversed with the wounded. During Sports Day, I have managed to hone my leadership skills as I successfully lead the first aid team. Although the duties were tiresome, they were worthwhile and inspiring. Besides, throughout my training, I have learnt calmness and patience from stress of treating the wounded and quick decision-making from examining emergency cases. My ability to work in a group also improved as teamwork is essential in first aids. This is really important in the A&E unit based on my hospital observation where trust among doctors is crucial.

ECA

As the Production Manager in Young Enterprise, I had to perform paramount tasks such as overseeing the progress of projects. Outlining project timeline required meticulous planning which is a useful skill to have as a doctor. Time management was imperative as I was busy with studies and curricular activities. My deep interest in Chemistry is also shown by the achievement of High Distinction in the National Chemistry Quiz. In A Levels, whilst being the assistant class representative and mentor to my classmates are sometimes demanding, I have developed my confidence as a supportive listener.

Conclusion

As a scholar, I believe I have the necessary attitude and skills and am excited about the future prospect as a doctor. However, for that to come true, I will have to receive top-notch education to acquire the required expertise. That is of vital importance before I will be able to help all the unfortunate people. I believe my resolve to help people would push me through the tough process of becoming a good doctor. Life will not be easy but I am prepared to face the challenges of which I am certain I can overcome. This is proven as I am one of the Top 50 National Scholars of the country, of which would not be achievable without persevering hard work and dedication.

SECTION 3Proofreading a (bad) personal statement

Proofread this.

My hunger for knowledge in the field of science since I was a little boy had leaded me to choose the science stream for my education in secondary school and college. As I grew up, I obtained more exposure to social issues around the world like poverty which leads to poor health and hygiene. These spurred in me the desire to make an impact on other people’s lives when they need help but cannot obtain it. To be more inspired and motivated, I read medical articles regarding lives of doctors around the world. One of them was Dr William Li Huang Min a neurosurgeon who is very talented and capable of healing his patients. All these things coupled with my strong belief that we should have a purpose in life to aid others reaffirmed my decision to become a doctor.

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Proofread this.

Recently, I had a hospital attachment at a government hospital where I was attached to a cardiologist. It was a very good experience as I was very welcomed to the team and they made me feel part of a team which is essential in medicine, as decisions made regarding patient-care is always made in a team. I watched various procedures like an echocardiogram, stress ECG test, and even an angioplasty which is considered invasive. All this sparked my fascination towards investigations in medicine and how technology has evolved so much over the years such that it now allows us to capture images within the human body. Some junior doctors also took some time off to teach me basic things about medicine like the healthcare system and some challenges they face as doctors. I appreciate the session very much and learned that being a doctor is not all glamourous as some envision it to be. I also learned that throughout our training as a doctor, we will receive teaching and tutoring from those more experienced than us. It made me appreciate the beauty of the profession.

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Proofread this.

As an active member of the “So you think you can be a doctor?” society, I visited medical schools and attended workshops to understand better the life as a medical student. I even examined abnormalities using mannequins. Speaking to medical students about how it’s like to be a medical student was enlightening as I understood and gained an understanding about different curriculums in medical school, and how PBL is conducted. I have also surfed the internet for blogs by physicians and subscribed to pages like medicine.net. All these are ways I keep my interest and increase my passion in becoming a doctor.

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Proofread this.

Some of the volunteering work I have done includes being a Rover H Scout which helps youth scouts in their activities, Kechara Soup Kitchen, donating blood, and donating essentials to flood victims in the flooded areas in Malaysia. These experiences taught me to be caring, kind and helpful to those who need help. It made me realize that I was also incredibly privileged and that I should share some of my fortune to the less fortunate.

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Proofread this.

I am interested in things outside science and medicine as well and am therefore involved in several ECAs. Being the Editor in chief of my editorial board in secondary school taught me both to macro-manage and micro-manage. As the Editor in chief, you need to see things as a whole and see the big picture when making decisions. You also need to learn to micro-manage as you would have to consider the smaller details and the feasibility of your decision based on these finer things. Being the secretary of the Scouts troop also taught me database management which is important in any organization. This I feel it’s relevant to medicine as being a junior doctor requires administrative skills as well, whether we like it or not.

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Proofread this.

Individually, I play the piano as hobby and obtained Grade8 in ABRSM. This shows that I can work on my own as well as in a team. I joined a marathon and this demonstrates that I am fit and understand the importance of exercise, and that I am a determined person.

Medicine truly is my calling as I cannot imagine myself being anything else but a doctor in the future. All my actions have reaffirmed my decision. With this unsurmountable amount of passion, I know I will be successful as a doctor.a

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SECTION 4Q&A – ask us questions based on your PS!

(they don’t have to be too detailed)

Thank you for listening!

If you have any questions, email us at mmi.unitedkingdom@gmail.com