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Tabitha Hoinowski On a Good DayAcrylic on Wood Panel
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Willie RossGirl Resisting a SmileDigital Photograph
SarahCam
peaulayout
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Amanda PuetzJarheadAcrylic on Arches Kayla MayerSelf-Scape with
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Renee GenslerTechno Opera IInk on Bristol
Renee GenslerTechno Opera IIInk on Bristol
Willie RossShadowed P
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12 PHOENIX 2009
DeaD BeatBy Devin gregory
Michaels skin stuck to the couch. The light was o, but
the sunlight wormed its way in. Damn curtains, he
thought. They werent thick enough, and he wanted to
sleep longer. Michael slid his hand through his greasy
hair, clearing his throat. Flies danced on h is toes, and
he didnt have the energy to care. Sleep hung on his
lips in a sticky line o spit.
His thoughts were brought the night beore. Smears o
alcohol were in the back o his brain. His bored
buddies wanted to party. Michael was always up oranything. Opening his eyes, he ound the room blue
and stirring. Chest heavy, his ngers ound the foor
and searched or his water bottle. He swallowed and
there was only pain. Sweat glistened on his orehead,
and he grew anxious. He needed something quick and
didnt want to get up to rife through his riends room
all the way down the hall. Sitting up, he eyed the
room. There was a hal empty bottle o bourbon and a
chair. In two seconds the liquor went down his throat,
easing the hurt.
Lying back down, he closed his eyes. He smiled. Now
he could rest a little more. Water rolled out the sides o
his eyes as he licked his chapped lips. The couch was
lthy with more than just alcohol on it. Maybe I should
get clean, he thought. Maybe I should go running
today or take a shower. Michael got up and slid hisway to the bathroom. Carpet, carpet, tile, rug, water, tile.
He clutched the sink in ront o him, gagging heavily.
He stood in the window and lit a cigarette. He held it
tight between his dirty ngers, throwing up more o
nothing. He thought o yesterday and how so many
things had changed since then. He always said,
Karma: itll get ya i you dont watch yoursel. Youll
be really mean to that hot dog vendor, or your cat that
just wants more love and BAM! Your ex will call and
say shes pregnant or ha s herpes. Or BAM! Youll get
hit by a bus or som ething.
This day was dierent.
He experienced the night o all nights and realized
saying that stupid shit was bringing everyone around
him down. Plus, it didnt make sense. Last night when
he sat drinking rum rom the bottle and talking with
riends, he realized, You know? You die when you die.
His riends got creeped out when he kept going, You
see, theres no such thing as karma. God takes you
when he wants you. You could be the picture perect
Christian and pray every day in ear that youll die and
not go to heaven, or you can ucking live and eel
great about what you experienced. No matter how
much you pray, you are going to die, and there aint
no way to predict how. His riends eyes were wide by
the time he nished, but they all laughed and, ater a
minute, the conversation ended.
Did you know that Sally cheated on me? one o the
men asked.
No, Man. Im sorry, another replied, Cheers to no
women, though!
Cheers! the group clamored.
Thats how the night kept on. Serious conversations
mixed with not-so-serious one-night-stand stories and
alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. But now it was morning, and
the drinking seemed to age him overnight. It was
painul to look outside. The morning light shocked his
dead eyes. Today will be different, he thought.Today I
will live.
Michael went to drink coee with some riends instead
o being on time or early to work. As he waited at the
cross walk, a beggar lay on the corner drinking what
looked like wine. Michaels eyes scanned the man, and
ater a delay, he searched his pockets or change. There
were a ew crumpled dollars, and he threw them in
the mans hat, which lay upside down on the pavement.
Michael smiled. Today is denitely better, denitely
dierent, and denitely wonderul. He smiled at the
beggar as the crosswalk signal turned to walk, and
stepped o onto the street.
BAM!
Km: ll d wch
DesignbyWhitneyAnderson
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(opposite)Angel Hayes Wrapped in
(upper left)Andrew JansMonolith
(upper right)Kevin AbihaiCharcoa
(lower left)Edgar FordWeathere
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Its my fand face
light, th
falling a
To Catch a Falling StaBy Kaitlyn WhitePhoto & Layout by Sarah Campeaur
16 PHOENIX 2009
hat would you do i I jumped? I ask quietly, breath
ghosting between us in a white plume.
I stare at him, ace completely serious. He stares back. I
am not surprised he has come, looming in the shadowedentrance. He does not seem surprised to see me, either.The night is still and stagnant, and we do nothing until
ragged coughs tear rom my throat. The sickly soundechoes around us, a metaphorical storm. I ace the towerledge in shame. Placing my shaking hands sotly on the
cool stone, I pull mysel up to the lip. Steadastly plantingmy eet, I double over towards himeye level.
Believe me now? I wonder.
My ngers brusquely cover my mouth when I coughwetly again. My body rocks with the motion, but stillhe does nothing, and I straighten to mumble and sigh
impatiently. I wipe my hands on my denims, smearing
dark stripes o red. His eyes ollow the movement andnarrow. I look away.
Youre hardly suicidal, he nally says.
His ace is hard to see clearly through the darkness,but I know hes scowling. I ignore him and lithely sit, asi to say Youre right, but not completely. My bare eet
dangle precariously over each side. He steps orward andthe heavy wooden door behind him shuts with a rusty
whine. The shadows peel rom him like a snake shedding
skin. Hes still pristinely dressed in uniorm, hair tiedloosely back with a ribbon. I am nothing in comparison.
Crumbling orward, I rest my orehead against the stone
in denial.
I know you, he says, and it takes me a moment toremember what we are talking about.
I tilt my head to look at him; he hasnt moved an inch.
I say nothing. His ace twists, but the night is too dark
and the gesture too quick or me to clearly distinguishwhat he is eeling. He steps closer again until its just meand him and the barely nothing between us.
Youre not like that. He reaches out to touch my hand,but I inch away, and he reezes.
Silence descends, a not-so-welcome liaison between oldenemies. Everything said now is what were not saying.
Its been a long time since we rst met ve, long, miser-
able years. What instigated our shared enmity is anybodysguess. Our classmates have gossiped, spreading vicious
rumors so dramatic and so anatical that the student bodyas a whole cannot help but believe them. The proessorstried to end our hostility, not able to comprehend the
hatred consuming two boys as young as we. It didnt work.
Beore long the ghting became habitual, the bitter words
oten repeating the same bitter sentiment. Beore long,
we went unpunished or our transgressions. We were letalone to harm each other as much as we pleased as long
as neither o us were broken beyond repair.
Letting out a shaky breath, I look to the night sky. I
am entranced by the beauty o the harvest moon; thetimeless stars are called callously to darkness. Our last
year o schooling has nally arrived. Still, nothing haschanged. Everything will end as it began.
Will you make a wish? My whisper has himjumping.
When? he asks. Whatre you talking about now?
I ex the midsummer chill rom my ngers and pointdown beyond the tower ledge. He rowns. Then, we areboth assaulted by rain. Heavy drops pour rom the angry
clouds that werent there moments ago. Magic. My chestaches, and I cough and cough and cough. With a ick ohis wrist, a carpet o light materializes above us. It soaks
up the rain but doesnt stop the cold. I dont botherthanking him and cough again into my sleeve. I ignore
that its wet with more than water.
Our aces are no longer cast in shadow and I dont wantto see his expression. I stand, legs shaking beneath me.
Exhaustion sweeps over my abused body. I cant seem to
nd the strength to care as I sway perilously on the ledge.
Hes just a second too late in stopping merom catchingme as I all away rom the tower. Wind whistles loudly inmy ears, soter than the sound o my name desperately,
despairingly, called rom his lips. His devastated ace, hisoutstretched hand, grows arther and arther away. I am
close, so close, to the ground. And then I stop. I knew I
would, knew it the very moment Jesper Ludvig appearedbeore me not ten minutes prior. He would not let me
die. Not yet.The inrmary is the same as always: quiet with the aint
smell o potions. The silence is thick, coating everything
with a sluggishness that wars with the healing propertieso the herbs. Even the warmth o the early dawn can do
nothing to revitalize as it seeps through the windows.Time means nothing here.
The white sheets eel like chains, shackles conningme to the bed and my nightmares. Sweat soaks the large
pillow supporting my mistreated body. I wish I had some-thing like it to ease my mind. Each breath I take is labored,
sucking in twice as much pain as oxygen. The loss oconsciousness makes me weaker; whatever will to live I
have let steadily eroding away. I I didnt know any better,I would think I was born to hurt. Pain has become my
constant companion over the years, its ache increasing
in tempo the more amiliar we become. Thanks to mymagic, I know I will die young; I know it now with every
white-hot sting that crawls beneath my skin, burrowing
into the marrow o my ragile bones.
Shattering glass echoes through the ward, startlingme rom tul slumber. My eyes crack open, sore rom
unconscious tears. Warily, I orce mysel to sit up and
search or the source o the disturbance. Its dicultto see through the dim light. Then I spot him. My head
bows in acquiescence.
Christofer, he says, walking quietly toward me, Sorry
or waking you.Jesper doesnt seem the least bit sorry at all, but I dont
comment. Theres a smile on his ace. Its sot and kind,
and I cant seem to look away. So I sit and wait or him
to say whatever else it is he wants to say. I dont have towait or very long.
Why did you do it? he asks, and I cant believe thatsall he wants to know.
I yawn and cough and gingerly lie back down, ruitlesslylooking or comort. Hes still there. I am exhausted, but
recognize he wont go away until I answer.
Why did you save me? I mumble halheartedly, eyesdrooping.
I never expected him to answer, but just as I was slip-ping into oblivion I manage to catch his whisper brush
against my ear.
The hallways are uncharacteristically empty. Classeshave already been called to attendance. I lost the will to
show up long ago. What point is there to learning magicwhen all it does is plague my body? Sot pattering rever-
berates of the thick stone walls with every step I take.
Old and ancient portraits stolidly ollow my passing withall-seeing eyes. Their rames are withered and worn.
A misplaced sense o loneliness overwhelms me. I shiverand cannot resist the urge to pull my sweater tighteraround my stif body. Turning into the library, I stare atthe mute presence o so many dusty tomes. They litter
everything: the maze o shelves, tables and chairs, even
the oor. I ascend the spiral staircase hidden in the cornerto the lot. There, a scarlet tapestry hangs like a guardian.
Slipping behind the thick cloth, I lay the palms o myhands at against the two impressions that curve the wall.Heat tingles across my ngertips, crawling over my skinlike a swarm o ants. I let my magical core leak with ease,
just enough to push away the power pushing against me.
Slowly it peels away, rolling back into the wall where itbubbles in the rock. I cough as I walk through.
A re is already burning in the pit, wood popping andspitting sparks. I sit where I stand and curl around my
knees. I am not alone.
Does the nurse know youve let? Jesper asks sotly.I shake my head and stare at him between my tangled
arms. I dont understand his concern; I dont want to hearit in his voice. He sits on the other site o the re, legs
crossed. Hes wearing his school uniorm, but is nowhere
near as pristine as it was two days beore. The white shirtis stained rom the garish smoke, hal the buttons hanging loose and undone. His standardized cloak is pooled
on the ground behind him.
Its my ault, he says, eyes bloodshot and ace pale inthe ickering ame light, that you eel like your body
is alling apart at the seams.
I shake my head in denial. How can he e ven think that?He says nothing more and just looks at me intently. Mychest swells with agony. I cough and wheeze. Acid sears
up my esophagus, and I cough again. Myhands are sticky. It takes me a moment
to recognize the blood that specklesthem dirty.
Weve been bound, Christofer, you
and I. Our souls bonded the moment our
eyes rst met. And not all soul mates aremeant or love.
My stomach churns, knots wrenchinguncomortably. I all orward and choke.My lips brush against the dirt, arms useless at my sidesJesper is by me in moments, liting me to my hands and
knees. His touch is like re, and I jolt away. I curl on the
ground and puke more blood, spitting out the gummywhite mucus that strings rom my mouth. When I can
nally regain my breath, I turn to ace him. His shouldersare slumped. He looks broken.
I tried so hard to hate you, Jesper says, backingslowly away.
I rise to my knees and then to my eet. He stops moving
We stand together in silence. I shiver and the air betweenus crackles with waves o unseen magic. Pleasure tricklesdown my spine and I moan or more. The pain that has
haunted me or years is bleeding away. I begin to eelhealthy and whole; energy lling me to the brim like it
has not done in years. I become ull with it, bloated. ThenJesper is holding me tightly, eyes raw with a desperate
passion Ive never known. Then time stops.
I wake surrounded by darkness, heart aching in mychest. It isnt a pain Im used to. It isnt the kind where
it hurts to breathe or think or be. Something else is miss-ing, a part o me that should have been but is ultimately
no more. My eyes utter open, anxiety lling the chasmin my chest.
Jesper, I whisper.
As my sight ocuses, I sit up. Im still in the room behindthe war tapestry. The re has long since gone out, the
wood black and charred. Jesper lies beside me , crumpledon the dirt oor. I shake his shoulder, but he stirs no
more than I move him. I tug on a loose strand o hairgently rolling his head to ace mine. Hes cold, too cold
skin chalk white. His eyes are open and dull, the color
completely drained rom the iris. Dead.Who would have wished or this? I ask, thumb rub-
bing absently over his cheek, sot even in death. I stareuntil my vision goes blurry, until tears all hot and wet
upon his ace.
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Shelbi RoakeThey Say Theyre Protecting MeInk and Acrylic on Wood Panel
(top)Kaela LongEmerald DragonflyRecycled Mixed-Media
(lower left)Jacob Force King Penguin Arcade Ceramics
(lower right)Jacob Force Formal Engagement with Alice Ceramics
(lower middle)Riley EofSocks Ceramics and Mixed-Media
20 PHOENIX 2009
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Nolle WinieckiRussian DollsSilver Gelatin Print
Nolle WinieckiPrecipitationSilver Gelatin Print
(opposite) M. Tyler McCabeYouthDigital Photograph
22 PHOENIX 2009
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W
24 PHOENIX 2009
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Dominique Horntwo heads Ceramics
Dominique HornTwo Heads Ceramics
Ka
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The calm
innocent
silence of
the night
stretched
over several
minutes,
unbroken
save for the
sighing of
the wind and
the clicks,
clatters, and
chirrups ofseveral myriad
insects.
JESSICA ASTLE
28 PHOENIX 2009
i, bk v ii id d ik, , i i i. H i i ii i ivi i, i b b.
T -- i i .S x i R , b i i i i, ki izzi.Whats the matter with me? k i, xi i i i k. F i i, d d i did i ii
by ivi di xi. I the others ever nd outsuch poetic nonsense goes through my head
T b i i bk k , ii i bbi i i .A ik i i, R i y i b i .W i , iz -ib ii bi i. Si ii , R bk ii ii . J i i ii , i i ib, d qkd d i bidi by. T v
py py i i, bby i qi.
F , Rv z d bk i dk-
i . T b, i i RTM y i i b j iy d ki i iy d, b Rv
id i b j bv. A
i i , i i.Fi, i p i pii,ki i ii y ib. y dd
i i b
bk idd i bk i k. B Rv
. L. T z i vy, ii i di i i i i i. Wi b i i i i i , z b i b , i bi i i .
H i i i , R i i i, i i b . ibi, ii i i , b, i
p i
ii. T , v b, Rv vy p k i xi . T ji b j i , b v d. Riv izd iiivy ki
bi i b j i i. A i i i b p bd . T by x
b i i ik b i b i.
Pi bb j i i b i i, i
i, b R i i p biy i d d. Hi b
i , d
i , i i j. No, jammed, locked, izd i i. Thats odd; locks arent suppose
bolt rom within like that. H i i i j i i b i. A ,xdy d iy ky. Rv d id
i. Bki d d d b viy i b i i , i i b k . T i i pi . Rv bi k ii b i i k k-iki ki y k . Oi -iz i -i ii, i pi. H i i i
k, ii i k b. T i i ik k iqii . Wi i ik, R ki i k .
It was a peaceul summer nIght. T i, i yi p , p y. T -q bd bidi b i , i-
ii i, d d d ii d
kii ik i .R Lk ii . Such lyrical garbage is or
children, d i, ii i y, and not or someone like me. H i,i b i . Wi
i, R i , b ii i i x k. Wii , i p ppi yi bii. Hi z pi b i i i i. RDC RTM. R , j ki i i p p b.H b Li ii i ii RDC y idid R d Dv
C. F pi y, i iid d . RTM d Rivy Ty
Mi. S Rv d bd i - i .
R i, i ii bk i id. H dd
id b divd iiz d di. F i d ii i
, d i ky iv z,
i i, ik i
d i i i idi bi. Wi ii i id, dy xii
bi ii ikd by i y d .T , i i i d v v
; i i i i i i i . Ti R i , i iidid v yi d i i jb. T y by v i ik. Amateur, .
R, Rv iv b iy d iii. A xi i y
b pb i i i i. H iiy, i i d d d d-
, i , ii i. Rv i i pp ii,
k
d d i d d. W
i i , dd d i d-
i, i iz bk i i i i
. A bp ii bii, i. Pi x
b d, by d i ii b i bi i.
Wii R d Dv ,
R qik i i i .Ci qii i b, id i y dj
i i. H -i i, bRv d. Biki idy,
Rv v y .H i i d yi
, x i ii i i i. A ivii , i b dy d ii p . A
i i i i R i, jk i j i i i bk di i . Ciiy i v
, R i i . A i y , Rv
, i i j i. Why am I ollowing some anonymous secu-rity guard when I could be getting back to the hideout to claim myreward? H i i izi i. Not araid o the guard, i, but araid the guards going to take something incrediblyvaluable beore I can get to it.
Hi i i, R b i
k i b. Sii , i d. Piki d i i bi
bidd, qiky id bk d . H
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30 PHOENIX 2009
. d y vb i di i b.
R bb ki i i i, i i b i b y . i y, i id . T i y, i vi k qk, .
T ii i -b, i R izi i, i i bk. Y b, ii i, i i i R ii. T, i b izz, -
i R bk i i.
R i i i . J , ii , ii . Ti bi i i i , ii, Tik b S i, B.
T i , i bi b Rv k d v b i .
H b i i ibi, ii b i k i b i.
T i b i i i i i i . H b i . H p iy vi ki izi i ii i, i , DNA z, , xd . Ev id id
yb i v iy, Rv iy
d , i yi i vi. H i iii ii ii, bi di div vb i dd
xiv i-v iy. Wipi
b i , b i.
T ivi b Rv iv. W i i , i i- i i b i. T v y i i; b Rvd , d ddy d, d iid
i i . H i i i i
b.Rv , i vy
i , b iz ii- ki i i b b. H i bj b k. T i i b i, i - i pii. T p . Y,
i zz i. i k , R bk i i -y. Wi , id d d
bi.J d i dy,
d bbd i by i i d dd i iid,i i i i b i . Sid d idd, Rv
k i xi bk , ik i b -i i . AR ii i , i i , i i.T dy, db xi d
ii i v b i i i i.
Wy y i , y? A y i, - qiy i iy vi. Hi i i . i ki i i.
T y y? Rv i, i i
i ii - i . Ti, i i ii i i , i d i
id i iiy d b i
, b. i i. p Rv i, i i i i , ii b i , i
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Willie RossLight IslandDigital Photograph
Ryan BrouwerTo the LightDigital Photograph
32 PHOENIX 2009
(upper left)Nicole TolmieInorganic AbstractionGraphite on Paper
(lower left)Maggee McCarneyInfinity: An InvitationGraphite on Paper
(upper right)Nicholas ShelGraphite on Paper
(lower right)Kristen HamInk on Bristol
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Sarah Campeau
Evergreen HotelSilver Gelatin Print
Kristen Weigand
Dusk at St. Johns BridgeSilver Gelatin Print
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36 PHOENIX 2009
prIvate harper norIngton b i ii d bikd. did k y di. N i dii-
i i i i .Ev b d id bv vy
d. Bi y Nvb, i vi, d i i . TL-E i i i i i; i i i, i k i Ji k. B i jk, -b i ki. T x b Ni i , ii i b i i , i i.
A y v - b
-py i, Ni i y pi bi
i i i. F -b, i i b i.
A i qi j i i Ni , i i i bb. Vi i i i, b i . Hi ik bk ,d d i i d d i i id i
i. Bloody dark! . N d. H i d i. Hi i b, Ni i .
There! T qk i. C. T i , i i i i. Sddy, ik i k b i i b, i k yi.Just a mouse, , i
i qk .Just a wee mouse.
harper norIngton, b i Yki D Edi , b bd i y i vi, Ed, .
Ti i j .Hi iy d bk. Di i idd,
i v k Sk, Mi, i. C i bk i i i p, ii b id d i y d bid
i . H ii ib i b, b b bp. D i i b, i Ni i i i i b.
W W bk Ni i . T y, Ni bd i
i d d y. Hi id d i k
v bk, d Ni didd i bi
i x i i Q .
T ii k , i i iq i Ni i
i b. A i -i , b i xii, k k i-- ki bi.
i , Si. F Ei, -i, i, i, ik, i Ni.
Rii b, SAS . C i, ? . E -i i? S i ? W i ,b xi i .
Ni i . N, Si. My iy bk. iz bk, i , i,
, k .Wi ? N k i.Li, F, G. Ni i.T , B i -
i. H i.
resh gusts o wInd f Ni b i.Ai i d d zi i bi i ki. H d i d ki , bk
i i v i b id , b i i . Ni -i. T x i i iq Gk i .
B Ni k Gk , - i .
A i i , Ni i i. Hi i , b i i. D q k i i i , i i v bd d . Addi i i d dii, di i y jkd i ik i
i .
T id did d, d i d qi .
i i bb , Ni i i. Si k d d i d i bi
i i. T i i i k.
H , k i i i. A bk i i , bi i i k i b f i. T iy ik. Ci i, id i d
j
i b . Si i . Ni z. Blast it, man! Pull yourseltogether and stay quiet! i.
F x d, d i b d idNi. N bi i . Fbi,Ni i b i k i i. Ti k ; bi i i, i , i i i b.
T i i bd i i ib di i. H i i i,i i i bj b. Better not, . I there areNazis out there, Ive made enough noise. They wont be able to see meeither, but they wont hesitate to re at noises.
A Ni , i i bi i . O all the times or my legs to all asleep, i i i. N ii i i ik iiy i ii, y i d ik bi b v b . I wish Sarge told us how ar away the lines are
Si y y d y d vi x i Bii Exdiiy
F. Adi dq, i i
Nzi i - ki i bi. Si i k , i i.
Still, that doesnt mean a thing, dd Ni. I wouldntput it past Hitler to conne his troops to one area. On the o ther handi Im careul . . . .
B k i i, i i k bk . T ibidd, d v bd v v
i i bi.
Silencethe antagoniSt
by erik cummingS
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PhotographyByJasonCurl
38 PHOENIX 2009
N k. A Ni bk , ik i pi pi i j pi b. T - iqi p i i. . Wi k, , , . Ri i i jk, p i p. T , b , G
B.
Wi i, i i . Pz, Ni i bb .H . k, i i i , i i Nzi, Ni i ii i i ib b. Ci d dd
i .T i i .
G, i i Ei.Ni p ii.
G , b i i Ei F.H? , ii i i .Ei, i y ? A
qi, ik i, ki i i b. i i, bii Ni i q k i i b i b, i, i
E-ki, b i.W ? k Ni, b k i i.
Gk, i i. W i ?
Back In the hal-demolIshed house iki b, Pi Ni i i qd Gk vd i . W
Ni b i , i, i k .M Gk ii S, i di divii Bii A. Ni b k i i . Hi k xi , C H.
Gk N, iiy. Ex bki . C ii y di i ,
H, i i i. T i , b ki i b? T i b Gk -i. T k , kki.T i: ii, i ,i b, i. N, ki . T bd bdy, y v k yv b i y d
. O i i i k.Ni v i bi y
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thoSe bladeS are So bloody Sharp, youll
never know youve been cut until your ead
fallS off. one Swipe iS all it takeS.
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Dustin ZerkelPatriotism on Inauguration DayDigital Photograph
(opposite upper) Brenda Pereboom
Crosswalk Shhh!Digital Photograph
(opposite lower)Kaitlynn Wickersham
Bicycle SeatDigital Photograph
40 PHOENIX 2009
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42 PHOENIX 2009
YoungandStupidBy Casea Peterson
whom I had never seen beore; maybe she was a amilymember I had never met, or maybe she was one o his
new things. Wyatt always had things. It wasnt too
hard or him, with his dark brown eyes and lengthy body
pouring out his condence or him. He always had awoman or two nipping at his heels. The thought made
my stomach twist. I was jealous o her, whoever she was,
but either way I knew he wasnt interested. I smiled tomysel as I watched him nod slowly to her every other
sentence and glance lazily around.
My booth was tucked into the ar end o the train, andat this time a large man obscured his view o me. But I
didnt mind. I wasnt sure what I would say to Wyatt. Ithad been years since I saw him last, and my normal cool
sel was a ball o nerves, itching to get out o the situa-tion. I wanted to move to a diferent train car, but I also
wanted to listen to their conversation to see i she reallywas a woman in Wyatts lie, or just a person he met on
the train. Either way, I didnt quite know how he would
react to seeing me.I slid out o the booth and hugged close to the wall
until I was out o Wyatts line o sight. A cluster o middle-aged women gossiped behind the small blonde Wyatt
was talking to, and i I were careul I could blend into
the group without being noticed. I grabbed a brochurethat read Renowned Restaurants in Seattle and opened
it at eye height as I slowly drited towards the gaggle o
women. I lowered the brochure and peered past the aceso the women to look directly in Wyatts eyes. He wassmiling, smiling at me. My heart stopped then thudded
hard against my rib cage. I looked down, then quickly upagain.Maybe he hadnt seen me, maybe I was just paranoid. Hiseyes ocused back on the woman in ront o him with no
sign o surprise on his ace. I allowed my heartbeat tosettle as I strained my ears in their direction.
The woman asked him where he was rom; my mood
lightened considerably, knowing they must not betogether i she didnt know he was rom Manhattan. As
I leaned in closer to hear Wyatts response, somethingelse caught my ear.
God, he is some kind o handsome, isnt he, girls? said
a woman rom the group where I attempted to blend.
The train looked like a giant candy cane on theoutside. It was red with white stripes all over
the caboose, and I absolutely loved it. I alwaysenjoyed taking train rides, because it was my
time to sit and watch people who probably didnt wantto be watched, and it was always a nice way to relax or
a ew hours. I stretched my legs out and propped them
up on the seat directly across rom me. The booths were
crated out o wood and covered with a layer o red paint.The paint had aded and cracked over the years, aking
of at places where passengers ngers had picked andpeeled in anticipation. This train was very old, but to meit held a warmth only a home could hold.
I turned and looked out into the station when I noticeda sticker tucked into the corner o my window. It read,
Keep Feet Of Seat. I started smiling and c ouldnt stop.
I elt like a little kid who just stole Grandpas last cookie,but no one else knew. My eet proudly occupied the seat
across rom me, and they werent about to give up their
spot. A woman with a baby in her arms came bustling pastmy booth with two boys in her wake. The boys looked
around seven or eight, and Ill be darned i Trouble and
Mischie werent their names. They had wicked grins
and their eyes darted rom here to there, thinking osomething destructive or exciting to do. The mothercalled her kids into a booth a ew down rom mine, but
beore they slid out o sight, I swore Trouble looked atmy eet resting on the bench across rom me and gave
me an approving nod.
It was about a hal hour into the train ride when Idecided it was time to people watch. I placed my hands
behind my head as i I were stretching and took a longlook around the train cart. No one seemed interesting at
rst, until I spotted him, the guy who built me up and
didnt stick around to watch me all. What a coincidence
that the man whod made my rst ew years o adulthoodthe most memorable as well as the most painul was onthe same train ride.
His arms olded tightly across his chest, and every ew
seconds he would lit himsel onto his toes and lowerhimsel slowly back down onto his eet again. This was
Wyatts impatient dance. He was speaking to some woman
was a lie and I wished to take it all back, but there would
be no point now; there was nothing between us to salvageLooking up at him with what I hope were determined
eyes, I nished, I hope you have a good trip.
I turned on my heel, squared my shoulders and walkedbriskly back to my booth. Dodging one o the two mis-
chievous children running through the train car, andsqueezing past the large man, I settled back into my seat
I elt a sore, amiliar tug take the place o my wildretowards Wyatt. I missed so many things about him and
just seeing him brought it all back again. I missed how
instead o buying me owers or Valentines Day, he drewme a picture. Or when I elt sick, he brought me soup
and a book to pass the time. All o those memories eltso ar away now. Wyatt and I had been apart or over ten
years, but there is always going to
be something there or the oneyou loved. I knew this would put a
damper on my weekend and possi-bly the next month, but there wasnothing I could do about it.
There were still a ew hours leton the ride up to Seattle, and my
mind buzzed with everything thatjust happened, as well as what I
wished could have happened. Ielt exhausted and weak; I let my
eyes slide slowly shut, but notbeore I glanced once more in Wyatts direction. He wasnowhere to be seen. The blonde lady had turned to join
the group o woman behind her. He must have let herhanging, too; he was good at that.
The scenery outside still ew by when I opened my
eyes. I checked my watch to see how long I dozed ofOnly orty minutes. Pulling my bag closer to me, I dug
my book out and ipped open to my marked page. Iwanted to keep Wyatt of my mind as long as possible;
i I let my mind wander I would be a mess by the time Igot to my moms.
Thats when it caught my attention. A small oldedsheet o paper lay in ront o me
on the table. I glanced around to
see i anyone else noticed thislonely piece o paper. No onelooked my way, so I quickly slid
the note of the table into theolds o my book pages. Im not
sure why I was being so sneaky,but it elt necessary at the time.
I opened the paper and instantlyrecognized Wyatts horrible pen-
manship; the note simply saidthe number 52.
My hands shook as I oldedthe paper and tossed it back onthe table. I knew i I went to Car
52 Wyatt would be there, wait-ing to talk to me about anything,
Giggles erupted all around me. How could this happen tome? I planned on taking a quiet trip up to Seattle or theweekend, and I ran into my ex-boyriend. That wasnt too
horrible, but now I was standing in a group ull o womenwho wanted to jump my ex, and it was unbearable. I wasappalled and completely rozen.
Hes the kind o guy you want to take out on the townand show of, you know? Then maybe take him homeaterwards, mused a tall redhead with long legs.
More giggles. I was jealous and kind o disgusted; Ishoved past the group o women and made a beelineback to my booth when a hand caught my arm. I whirled
around on the spot and ound mysel less than a ewinches rom Wyatts chest. My head was instantly woozy.
His scent was spicy, but it was also that amiliar sweetsmell I knew so well, and I was
still ully aware his hand hadntlet my arm.
Emma. Fancy seeing you here.
His voice was even better than
the phone messages I used to playover and over during the rst ew
months ater he let me. He was
grinning rom ear to ear, taking mein with his dark eyes, cocky.
Heh, yeah, such a coincidence,
right? I pulled my arm back to myside, smoothed out my shirt, and
tucked my brochure neatly under my arm. He snatchedthe brochure rom me and studied the cover.
Ah, a trip to Seattle? What or? Business or pleasure,my lady? He opened the brochure and covered his ace
with it, then slyly peered over the top. O course he saw
me peeking at him earlier. My cheeks ushed as I pluckedthe paper rom his ngertips and swatted him with it.
I am visiting my mother, Wyatt, unless you orgot allthe weekends we vacationed up here to see her.
I instantly regretted the words leaving my mouth.What i he had orgotten? What i our relationship had meant noth-ing to him at all? Ater all, he was the one who just stood up and letwithout warning. His ace ell at my comment, but instantlyperked up again. Gently, he grabbed my arm and pulled
me closer to him, so that his mouth was a breath awayrom my ear.
How could I orget those trips, Emma? Do you remem-ber that one time in train car ty-two? A small laugh
hummed across his lips.
My mouth was dry. Instead o reminiscing, I elt like
being mean. How could he just expect me to be okay with
everything he did? How could he expect me to under-stand? I loved every bit o our lie together beore he let,
and here he was, ten years later, still capable o sweepingme of my stupid eet when I just wanted to keep themon the ground. I pulled away rom him one last time so
his hand was no longer against my skin, and his warmbreath along my neck was just a memory.
I suppose I do remember them. We were young, Wyatt,and we were stupid. Each word coming rom my mouth
As I leaned incloser to hear
Wyatts response,something elsecaught my ear.
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SSIN
GRAIL
ROAD
chance, but thats what I am asking or. Yo
were just young and stupid, like you saidup in the past ten years. I want to be abl
your ace again, I want to be able to make
up when I ask you to something as simple
moved closer to me, he was only a ew
and I no longer wanted to turn and ace h
walk away, because I knew there was no
Em, I know this seems a bit ridiculous,
was a reason we met on this train today. I
have another shot, he nished, almost Was that the best he could come up with? He
me and expected me to crawl back to him becausrolled my eyes and stood up a little taller
what I needed to do and it was exactly w
those years. Closure.
Wyatt, or the longest time I asked my
Was I not good enough? Did you just los
you araid o commitment? But I think I
you let; it wasnt because we were youn
was because you were young and stupid
I didnt turn my head to look back in
wasnt curious whether he was hurt, su
pissed of. All I cared about now was th
a waste o time ever to care at all.
because thats how he was. He would draw me in, make
me eel special again, and then leave me at the end o thisawul train ride. My mind was trying to reason with my
heart. I I dont go in there, I wont be able to stop asking what couldhave happened; i I do go in there, Ill wind up regretting it. At least Iknow I can get over it since Ive gotten over him beore. I think.
I placed my hands on the table in ront o me and
pushed mysel into a standing position. I tossed my book
into my bag while clutching the note close to my chest and
plodded my way through the crowd. As I walked past the
group o Wyatt-obsessed women, I received angry
glares and jealous looks. They must have seen
him drop the note on my table when I wasasleep. I almost elt bad or them, because my
jealousy and anger would be, i anything, larger
than theirs i I knew they were going to see Wyatt.
Keeping my eyes down, I let the train car.
49 50 51
Standing outside the sliding door, I nervously tucked a
piece o hair behind my ear, eeling sel-conscious. I had
thrown on a pair o crummy jeans and an old Oakland
t-shirt or the trip, but Wyatt always said he loved
the way I didnt care about looks. He would say
he still thought I was beautiul. Thats theclassic line isnt it? Youre beautiul no matterwhat, Babe. Well, news fash: Im sure that Miss
New Boobs, the blonde bimbo you ran of with,
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Willie Ross The PeddlerDigital Photograph
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Jessica Astle Self PortraitGraphite on Paper
Rachel LoganMusical RhythmWatercolor on Paper
Nick DummerMusic in a LineInk on Bristol
48 PHOENIX 2009
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(right)Carolin KeppelerPeace
Acrylic on Canvas
(bottom)Hailee HunterMole
Acrylic on Cardboard
(opposite upper left)Jason Curl BouquetDigital Photograph
(opposite upper right)Mira BoumatarCala LiliesColored Pencil on Paper
(opposite Bottom)
Tricia RohmSpring TreasureCeramics
50 PHOENIX 2009
F Y
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IllustrationBy
JasonCurl
IllustrationBy
RobertCramer
52 PHOENIX 2009
Scrutinize the spinning crust,
Lively ather o races,
Sing loud the wild song o exploration.
Cry vibrant yearning to the sky, cry
Call o the instinctive search.
Scout beneath the ethereal blue,
Eager ancestor o all,
raverse Earth in vigorous thirst.
Discover tempestuous tide, discover
Violent waves upon shiing sand.
Feel with innocent heart,
Bright orebear o humanity,
Search out nuance in e arnest question.
aste ruit o succulent duration, taste
Fruit o orceul wanderlust.
Breathe in air o unbridled glory,
Kind parent o men,
See with virgin eyes; see
Dynamic lie in lusty abundance.
No momentum can compareo the catalyst o your desire.
Adam
M. Tyler McCabe
For YouBianca Santino
Warmth, retreating sun
Nervous
ouch, secrets
Mouth moistens
Moths whisper in the trees around us
Te dark orest calls at twilight
Silence
Serene
Chest exposed
Warm summer air lingers in the mature evening
Mellow, curls
Beore, remember, the wilderness knows
Protector o the road
Fire, muscles fxed
Strange, we understand the unknown
Eyes, bravery
I knew that you were mine
When we languished
Dripping desire
Back then
Humidity, humanity
When you were him
And I was she
Under that solemn moon
We knew we would be
And so the dark did leave unexposed
And carry on we did u ndisclosed.
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Allison Lee Henrey Watercolor on Paper
Sarah CampeauLittle Boys, Big Fish Cyanotype
Jordan Jones UnicoArtem PopovThe Spectacle Charcoal and Pastel on Paper
54 PHOENIX 2009
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Angela Service
Mother & SonInk on Paper
Lisa Dykes
LetterformsInk on Paper
Jacob Laurila
JacobicInk on Paper
Minako Aoki
Type SetsInk on Paper
Whitney Anderson
WapentakeInk on Paper
Hui Hsin Lo
PrimitiveInk on Rice Paper
Anne BaghdanovSeou
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Amanda Mabrey
IllustrationsByNathanChilds
Jason CurlJason Before an Open MicDigital Photograph
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b .
PHOENIX 2009 58
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Jason CurlGi
Goddamn it, ucking shithead, asshole, . Why the uck am I even here humor-ing him? He surrendered to the dark side; hes the one who hasnt made any orm ocontact or three ucking months! I should just get up and walk out right now. i ik i . b i i b bi i , i i i .
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b i i i i i. Ten minutes. Tenmore minutes, and then Im gone. He can go drown his sorrows in another ridiculouslysappy love ballad. He was the one who asked to meet me in the rst place, dammit! .
i , i . E ik , di, di . T y d ii i i, i bk. Probably the silly mock art o the people who work here, trying to makean extra buck, , denitely not rom the real ones out on the streets. , b. Li by i i ip
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I let another big gulp of luke-warm coffeeslither down my throat, and looked downat my Kurt Cobain watch impaiently.
60 PHOENIX 2009
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Angela ServiceYellowDigital Triptych
Angela ServiceOlympic National ParkDigital Photograph
Cindi Lou KunkleWondermentDigital Photograph Stacy Hargis OneontaDigital Photograph
62 PHOENIX 2009
eA
dent
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The StoryThe Husband stands outside the store window.
His love in one hand and his wie in the other,
He kisses his insatiable iniquity as he draws
The Wie close.
His adulterous hold sickens The Mannequin,
An audience in a foral dress.
The window keeps The Mannequin rom speak ing,
So she watches a betrayal unold
In silence.
The Wie loves the Husband more than anything.
With every breath taking her urther away,
She exhales to bring them closer.
The Husband wishes he could say the same.
With each drag o his nicotine,he holds
The Mistress; He holds in the sin.
The Wie,
Prays or a
So, he tuc
Behind he
The Mann
Prays or a
Yet, she re
And holds
The Wie d
Shes blinBut the Hu
The sky ca
The oreca
The Husba
Falling do
Convictio
And holds
His eyes a
But are le
The Husba
And The M
An ember
let unkiss
TheRain
WillCom
The EpOn The Hu
He and Th
Shaded r
As a ool i
Oh-so-lov
Lover.
The HusbandA lover with a wie on the side.
The WifeA victim oblivious to the aair.
The MannequinAn audience in plastic skin who sees what
The Wie cant see.
The MistressA cigarette with a dash o apathy.
The CastMichaelEvanA
The ForeshadowingThe sky is welling up.
This is denitely a tragic aair.
Jessica AstleA Gathering of Unreality Watercolor on Paper
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Robert NovakLady BlueBlue Chalcedony and Sterling Silver
Nicole TolmieMorning Sk
66 PHOENIX 2009
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68 PHOENIX 2009
January 29, 1958. T , i i i i, ik . D d R i i b bizz y i . Dpi V8 i
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Ya know, Roger,you got a way of
makin a man
wish he had a
good place to hide
a dead body.
70 PHOENIX 2009
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R d D, dbk. N ki y, k d viy d
D. Fiy, i qi D db bi i id , R
k, W i ...S ! D , i ii
i. Y ! j R , i i i i
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i . j k G i i ,R D. Wi y b, D
b k R ibii b i-i. What a piece o work.Ti i bi i
ib iy, dy d b v.
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ik iib ii. A ik i,R ik .
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R d D id d id i ik i i, .By, i y ki i i . Y
i i , b.B....R, y d y di iv,
b i.D i i
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i i i, D i, T bk i Pk i bi.
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Tk Gd! A y d kid ky ? Yk . Y ki b i . Y Di bb ; ik y i b v, i i i . J . H, i i? , . B.
H ii i, R, i i i .
T . T , R i.Li,
k, ? b k. b.R b p
k b. Wki i b , .
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Mira BoumatarDowntown Beirut Graphite on Paper
(lower right
Jennier GilmCeramics
(lower left)
Jasha LottinCeramics
(lower midd
Kaitlynn W
Ceramics
(Left)Allison LeeCeramics
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Born into this piety
DirectedAnd bound unto its celestial oldBrought up to take my rst steps
As a believer in the lord
With hands clasped tight
Head bowedReciting rehearsed oaths o aith
A symbol o devotion,
Or a habit o condition?
King James word reigns supreme,Binding
Although his literature is a revision
Stories passed down through the shis
Fact with no citation
Doubt foods in with logic and sense then
Terror
Takes the guilty currentA conscience o ear, I pray that in death
I never sail to hell
Devout ImpulseBy Emily Antoine
Crystal LorethGrandma JenneAcrylic and Mixed-Media on Board
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Allison LeeNormanWatercolor on Paper
Jennier Gilmore Bird
Annie KnightThanksgiving HarvestAcryli
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i i, i i i i -i i by. H d i . Hdi
i b b i i , k iz d i i. Ty , k
i . H i i , ik,i ? A b i ki;y i y. Ev , i i xi bf i.
P Hi G W D C.Ri i i i, iki ii Ci P. Vii i ii i i p
ipp i bp i . H ib, i i i bk--i kb ; i i jk, i bk , i, -i . A bbd , Vii d
b, b i i.C ip ii,
ivii . Ci iiy i
i b i, b i-. Fi i d ibd i: b ii y i, i ii p ii, ii i b, k. Ri id- id b . T k i bd i dyi, d Vii d i
-iy. H d i di dy i i
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b , i py, y
d i vi idy. S i, i-ki; d,
i b i ii iH id d i vi-ik , i i, ki b, -ii i i. O i. S ki, i. A iiii , d i, ik y i,
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i Vii i i i. H b , y d id d. Sy,
i i xi, ii i.
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y. i i i i i p. i i b i iki--b b.
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p vy i i i by i i
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bi , i i, i i,bivi. Ty i y , bi ii . F , b i , .Hi i i iy iy i i i
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i id. Vii y, by d, bd,, k j i k, bbi ki. H d i y. Not here. T y pp. H p, pi Si P C. Evi M-i ; , , , i .
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d y di d.Axi i , i i i , iy. Gi i , id idi diy, k i Vii
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jd, d. H y d id. F , , b . H x i ii x.
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ki G i, i. i i .
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bi k i bi , bi G ?
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i, y, ,, , i i.
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i . H vd qiky i ivi i vii i i ; d b j,
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i bi i. H b i Vii , i i ,i i , , i. bi-i, i , b i
Vitgils ebloodshoartery into the su
By Leah KooimanLayout by Whitney Anderson
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(opposite)
Dominique HornDolls I-III Ceramics and Mixed-Media
(right)
Alex GrengsApollo one Ceramics
(above)
Jennier Gilmore Fear Ceramics
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Sally Filler Absent AgainAcrylic on Canvas
Kristen Weigand My Moms HandDigital Photograph
Sarah Campeau First InfusionDigital Photograph
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Discarded
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I placed the memories tenderly inthe box, sealed it up, and placed iton the stack.
86 PHOENIX 2009
Ci. i i i .A i ?Y.G. b i. , D.N, ik .Wi ki bk i d, bbd
b i ii .
k i, D. D k ?
Hi b ik z ii. N .Wy d y j , id y.
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i E Vii W-U G Si.
k i D i,ki y My. T i ii
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i i. Hi z i k d d did i i x i b.
, i y , -ibi dv, kd d
i i i .T, i, zi i y y i
i j. i i , i i
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Y , D, i .
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Shelbi RoakeUntitled (Tree)Mixed Media on Wood Panel(above)Greg ListonBlue Pinched Ceramics
(below)
Derek SpencerJuJubee Ceramics
Robert NovakDaylight DelightOpal and Engraved Sterling
88 PHOENIX 2009
Tanner CaseyIntervene Ink on Paper Tanner CaseyInterventionInk on Paper
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90 PHOENIX 2009
It is not the strongest of the species that subut the one most responsive
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T p i y vi y
Ay P Sp i. p y , i i i i i. i i
jk, d y i , d d, yi ip. i . A iy
b i i i, by i, i i i i. i i, i i ,iii p i pp Ni .
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b i ! H i, b i , i iib i.
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pp i p p. A bzz i k i k . G k , i i , i , i . T pp , ii i i y i ii p
i .W ? k i k i .
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y d b, id, i vy i i. Y ki
b k .Hi ki, b ,
b . y y, i
id y byi yiq, i i
d ik . My i i d i k- k , ji , y kd bi. Pi y d bk
k i, i i i i.
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.T i? k, W i ? , i, ii i
i i.T k bi b. A k
i i i bbi j i.
k , i.H?N, i b, i iy, i i
b i , Y, Ki, i v . i iq.
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i i . k, i
, ix : i. , i k,i b ii , ii .
Chapter 1: Aden
By Emily Antoine
O Pi R -i i i vii i b. T i, j b i.
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i . , b , .
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bi . F k ii , i i i i i. i i i . W i -i, , , i b
i i. , i. Y i ?
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k i i . , i.
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kid ik y, i , k-
i b i i i .
i, i bi i i i . Ni i i. T i v d . Hi y
i ii, , b b ik , k i ik i.
Wi , Ki. i y, ii i i i d i i d,
i bi Pi R bi . S, ik i . Yb .
Hi i . T k i i i- , b k i. W i ,, bi i i , i qid. W y y i d vi, bk i qik.
ik , i iy jk d i iy k iid k.
O bi d i, d i d b ii i b i xi ,i i i xi B Si. H ddd, ki Oiid bid ,
i.Mijdd y, Kid, id, i i
i b. , ki , i i i. W i i
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d i bi. kd , i i i i i.
iy p i y b p, pi i-k ii ik T Ni O. Ni i id kd dd idk, d vy
i i .T i b iz
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b i y p. vy p, .
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k , d ,
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d y y, iki Ni, i, d
i d v d i . O ROT qd d k i y, i d d i b . Hi k b i k, , i .
H d i y i, yb
i k b , i iid i bidi, di v iy i
. A pii ii ji y y-p , iy b vpi , ROTS b i
i .
beforemewasavalleyofasphalt,concreteandlostmorals
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A , j k ii i bj ii .
d, bidy i y i d, i i. i , i b . T -i , b, ii b b. b d y d d . Li i i ,
d id, i i d y . Sv i, y
k b bi, ii i ii . F i i i ii i
i, T Ni O. Sii
, i bi i i b.
d b d d i, ki
d Ni, i b id b d d d i .
Fi, d , b i id d. bd i bk , vy v i y i. k i, i di d i d . H k dd i ,
i qi b. M i b, i ij ixi i . A i . Ev i ii
k i.D, bb
, i i ki . Ry, . v , iii i b d. Si i d k, i i, i . T k k
i . Ri dd , dkd i ki x j b . i , i i b i, Ni d b , i b d.T v. O d i
, , p y ii. My y , i Ni i i b. W i k, i, ik i. k i k bk .
, i, ii i j xi vbd i di. A
id i y. T xi, i i, .
K M
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Whitney Anderson Human TraffickingDigital Illustration
Travis ClintonConverse CityInk on Bristol Carolin KeppelerMilton glaser posterDigital Illustration
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