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Agenda 1. Welcome 2. Evaluating Children’s Behavior 3. How to deal with an angry
child/Bullying 4. Boundaries with children 5. What needs to be reported/abuse 6. What does the reporting process look
like 7. Staff input and questions
Why it IS important you are here To provide a safe haven for our youth Because of the leadership role you have
accepted Your responsibility to the youth we are
servicing To protect organizations we serve To protect ourselves, personally from
potential misconduct or accusations
Dealing with children’s behavior Recognizing the stages of anger
Knowing why a child can act a certain way and being able to identify the stages of Anger can provide us with guidance into how to best deal with those behaviors
Stages of Anger 1. Irritation Susceptible Easily Provoked Likely to become angry*someone already on your radar
Stage 2-Agitation Signs of excitement or emotion Visibly unhappy/angry/distraught*Getting ready to take some action
Stage 3-Loss of Control Child is unable to regulate behavior Has actions without regard for
expectations or consequences “I don’t care attitude”
Stage 4-Resolution Able to attend Able to consider the ABC’s (activating event, belief, consequence) Able to discuss alternative positive
behavior
Some Do’s and Don’ts
Postive ways Do use the students name Do listen through anger Do be calm, firm, and
consistent Do allow student time to
deescalate Do empower them to come
to own solution Do set limits and clearly
explain acceptable behaviors
Negative ways Don’t interrupt Don’t touch child unless of
a safety concern Don’t crowd student Don’t point at them Don’t’ shout or loose
temper Don’t take responsibility
for the child’s emotional state
Stay Positive with Careful Communication
Body Watch your non-
verbal behavior relating to-
*Space*Posture*Facial Expression*Gestures*Eye Contact
Voice When talking with a child be mindful of your*Tone*Volume*Rate
Voice-Tone, Rate, Volume Rate-the speed in
which you talk Make sure to talk slow
enough for student to understand
Volume-maintain a level volume. Shouting will not help you get your point across
Tone-the quality of a persons voice
You can deliver the same message in a more constructive way if you use a kinder tone of voice
Redirection with an angry student 1. State the rule or
consequence 2. Be consistent
with all students 3. Utilize Active
Listening 4. Ignore the last
hook
Bullying Behavior Research Science Daily reports that 9 out of 10 elementary
students have been bullied at some point by their peers
Without intervention, bully behavior persists over time
In the Bergen study - clear association found between relative teacher density during lunch and recess time and the amount of bully/victim problems
Adults must be willing and prepared to interfere with incipient bullying episodes…
How? Know what the kids know and speak the language
Key points of the North Hills School District Elementary Bully-proofing Program The program has been in effect for
eight years Grades K-2 receive 4 lessons per year Grades 4-6 receive 4 lessons per
year Multiple approaches utilized – class
discussion, work pages, video, role plays, peer tutoring, art, singing, visuals, interactive activities
Booster lessons provided for teachers Information available for parents to
assist children Schools presented with informational
posters/projects designed to reinforce the 3 R’s and have Bystander Power.
Bullying program continued…K-3 Bullyproofing Program
Identify-know what the bully behavior is
Refuse-Power tool stragies
Understand the difference between telling and tattling
4-6 Bully Proofing Program
The 3 R’s Recognize Refuse Report Bystander Power Trusted Adults
Suggestions for lunch/recess Never leave any doors open---
district policy No whistles in the lunchroom Stay attentive with the children Rotate around the lunch/recess
area Do not stand in groups and talk
with other adults Avoid yelling at children Consider confidentiality Redirect the child instead of getting
into an argument with them Don’t be afraid to speak up Please do not send students from
recess to the nurse for “ non-emergency” issues
Effective Strategies Stay in control of your
emotions Remove the child from
the group to talk to them Move closer to the child
so you can use a quieter voice
Listen to the student Be consistent Don’t get drawn into an
argument
Save discipline for safety related behaviors
Don’t threaten to do something you can’t do
Don’t discipline the whole group for actions of a few individuals
Don’t let a situation get out of hand
If you make a mistake, admit it, we are all human
Don’t threaten something and then not follow through
State things in a positive manner
What is child abuse??? Child abuse-is the injury of a child by an
adult OR another child. This might not be intentional, but it is not accidental.
Classified as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
Child Neglect- is harm caused by withholding life’s necessities: food, clothing, shelter, medical care or education
Physical Abuse Burns-Dry Burns, wet or submersion burns,
friction burns, other types Bruises-Different stages of healing. Different
bruising colors(red, blue, yellow)/ Distinctive Shapes. Not on knees, elbows, etc.
Lacerations and abrasions-soft tissue area. Human bites.
Fractures-unexplained or multiple fractures. *Children who are physically abused are more
likely to show signs of childhood stress
Emotional Abuse and Neglect Emotional Abuse-signs are hard to
detect, lagging physical development, or habit (physical, social)disorders
Neglect-signs are hard to detect, inappropriately dressed, poor personal hygiene and consistently hungry
Sexual Abuse Recognized by witnessing the act or the child
says he has been abused, or from other sources Physical evidence Behavior signs are likely to be more
conspicuous and present for a longer time Age inappropriate actions *The behavior indicates a possibility that sexual
abuse has occurred. This is not conclusive evidence that the child has been abused
What do I do If I suspect abuse?1. Do not immediately jump to conclusions2. Do immediately tell suspicion or findings
to the School Counselor or Principal 3. Do listen to the child if they bring an area
of concern to you and make them feel important
4. Do always encourage the student to come talk with the school counselor
What does the reporting process look like and how do I know if I should?
You are required to report abuse or a reasonable suspicion of abuse to the school counselor or principal so a report can be made
You are not required to know for certain if the child has been abused
Your report only requires that you acted on reasonable suspicion, and in “good faith”
When requirements (above) have been met you have immunity from liability for child abuse reporting as a mandated reporter.
Who is a mandated reporter? As a North Hills employer and as someone working with
children in a school you are now a mandated reporter You are legally responsible to make any reports or
suspicions of abuse It is normal not to know the entire story or to feel like you
do not want to become involved but it is essential that you report information to school counselor or principal to ensure appropriate documentation and action is taken
You are not the investigator, just listen and get the information to appropriate staff. Do not continue to question them.
Legal action can be taken against an employee who knowingly knew of abuse and did not report it
Boundaries Physical-keep
appropriate distance between you and student
Never be alone with a child (rule of 3)
Children may want to hang on you and hug you but it is important you remember that you are there a safety provider and to keep appropriate boundaries
Treat your interactions with all the children the same
Emotional Boundaries Emotional-remember that
you are there to keep them safe and have positive interactions but NOT to be their friend
It is great to form a connection with students but we do not want to be interested in all personal things
i.e. who they have a “crush on”, personal secrets with friends, or other things of that nature that could blur your role at the school
Benefits of Boundaries
Be Consistent. In order for boundary setting to work for you, you must develop a commitment to uphold what is right and true for you. You must act consistently in upholding your boundaries
Establishing boundaries makes you a safe person. People know where they stand with you. Boundaries are the way we take care of ourselves. We have both a right and a duty to protect and defend ourselves
Generous People Set Boundaries. If you don't set boundaries you are giving yourself away. With boundaries you only give what you want which means you can
afford to be generous to more people over a longer period of time. Boundaries Allow Others to
Grow. Because it makes others conscious of their behavior thus allowing them to change.
Boundaries Allow You To Get More of What You Want, and Less of What You Don't. Boundaries not only protect you from unwanted behavior, they also foster the behavior that you want.
Final Recap Tone of voice-How do you speak when you are irritated? Show respect-Do the students know they are respected? Physical actions-Do your actions sense your anger? Listening-Can you be a non-judgmental listener?
General Attitude and Approach Be friendly Be firm, not tough Be consistent Treat all children equally Be fair Show respect Be courteous, don’t use
sarcasm Establish clear
expectations Don’t take things
personally
Remember to use your sense of humor
Always use appropriate language Greet students with a smile Call students by name Show interest in things that interest
them Compliment students on positive
behavior Make students feel they have a
responsibility in ensuring group safety; have them help set up the rules.
Listen to the students Have a reason for what you asked
the student(s) to do Ask for help when needed