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If you’re call- ing someone out on their behaviour, chances are this isn’t the first time they’ve acted this way. But avoid listing past misdemeanours and stick to the cur- rent situation. Example: Your mom says, “You studied hard but not as much as Reema masi’s daughter.” Don’t respond with a general statement about how she always crit- icises you and compares you to your rela- tive’s children. Rather, focus on that specific moment and tell her how her words made you feel. Times NIE “Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” RALPH WALDO EMERSON, POET 03 POLISH YOUR SKILLS Q I have a cousin sister who cant stop bragging whenever we are together for family lunches and festivals. She can’t listen to a story without bringing the topic back around to herself and it is too irritating. How can I handle this situation without coming across as rude? – Irritated Cousin A. Hi, these things are indeed tricky. Here are some tips that may help. ■ Try this: The next time your cousin begins bragging, ask her questions on a broader level and ignore her brag talk. Here’s how. Example: YOU: I love Pondicherry where I went for a class trip. HER: I loved Pondicherry too and I flew there in Business Class. It was actually a birthday gift from my dad. YOU: Did you visit all the places? HER: Oh, I stayed in such a beautiful resort that I spent most of the time there. My suite was a royal one! ■ Talk to her: If the above plan doesn’t work, be direct and tell your cousin in private that her comparison talk makes you feel uncomfortable. Convey your feel- ings kindly and respectfully so that she doesn’t feel judged. If she is fairly sen- sible, she may mend her behaviour. By SUNAIINAA A HAK, etiquette guide LIFE SKILLS MANNER WISE Good manners are more than just manners. They serve a larger purpose in the world. Here’s more about its significance in today’s time C hildren learn good behav- iour from their elders, from sharing their toys at home to sharing their lunchbox at school with their classmates and friends. Learning to be kind to their helpers and using polite language with them is also a learnt behaviour that should begin from childhood. Add caring for siblings/elders and being respectful to them too. IT BEGINS FROM HOME L ater in life, after you have passed school, got your degree and landed a good job, your skill set will surely count. But what will help earn you plenty of brownie points is good behaviour in the pro- fessional front. So, make it a habit of being good to people around you. ETIQUETTE GETS POSITIVE ATTENTION W hen your friends know you care enough to have good manners with them, they are more likely to include you in activities and events. Relationships are stronger when people respect each other and remember each other on important occasions. Overall, peo- ple who are polite and selfless are a lot more pleasant to be around than those who are selfish and rude. BEING POLITE TO FRIENDS WILL MAKE THEM STAY FOREVER W hether you need help at the grocery store or you have a complaint about a product, showing good manners will make the store employees help you. Plus, holding the door for a hassled mother or an older person can make their day. Smile at your society/school guard too and you will notice how good and gratified it made you feel. TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT B eing a good conversation- alist involves more than knowing the right words or talk- ing all the time. The person you are speaking to will feel that you care if you hear what he or she has to say. Lending a patient ear to someone ensures they will reciprocate the gesture. PEOPLE WILL LISTEN TO YOU IF YOU RECIPROCATE I f you RSVP, show up when you say you will be, you will be respected for this behaviour. You will also find yourself on the guest list of parties and events pretty often. Courtesy is a crucial social skill. SOCIAL ETIQUETTE WILL FETCH YOU MANY INVITES I f you are in the habit of using good manners all the time, you won’t have to worry about whether or not what you are doing or saying is right. This gives you a cer- tain confidence. PROPER ETIQUETTE MAKES YOU CONFIDENT By Team NIE There is a reason why most cultures have the custom of exchanging gifts as it gives people the opportunity to be in touch with each other and also meet up Photo: Getty images MATTERS? Expert SPEAK WITH PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR Y ou’re at this much-awaited family get together and your aunt says, “I don’t much like your dressing sense in general, but this dress looks good on you, for a change!” Such sneaky insults often come with a smile, yet you walk away feeling bad. That’s because this ‘passive- aggressive’ behaviour is a way of expressing anger/sar- casm in a seemingly non-hos- tile way. Here’s more about it and how you can deal with it. STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT Passive aggressive behav- iour encompasses more than just faux compli- ments. Maybe it’s that friend who’s always late but won’t say she doesn’t like hanging out with you. Or a classmate who is a part of the school drama team but all he/she does is keep passing subtle snide remarks at others. DON’T TAKE THE BAIT There’s a fine line between responding to someone who’s being passive- aggressive, and engaging in the drama they’re creat- ing. Respond but minus the “I am hurt” emotion. Example: A friend says “Thank You” but doesn’t sound pleased. Answer the content, not the context of the situation. Just saying “you’re welcome” meets the person where they’re at, but doesn’t take their bait, which is great. One way to get passive-aggressive people to change their behaviour is to have consequences for their actions. Evaluate how their behav- iour has affected you, then decide the best response. Should you tell your friend you felt bad? Or is it time to end the friendship altogether? Take some time and think about it. And then convey your feelings to the respective person. WHAT IS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR? BE DIRECT ETIQUETTE FAUX PAUS T his is a modern day mal- ady. Some people signal others to be quiet when they are talking on phone in public. Picture this: You are crossing a street with a friend and a passer by is en- grossed in a conversa- tion on his/her smart- phone. He gestures you to stop talking and laughing. And you are like, "It's not your home. If you want priva- cy, go to your home." Because man- ner experts agree that when you are out in public places like streets, restaurants, weddings, etc, then you have all the right to talk, laugh and gig- gle. And mobile users cannot ask you to keep shut. If the conversa- tion is so important, they should find a quiet corner to talk. Remember, unless you are in a library or some other quiet space, people really do have the right to be conversational. WHY W ithout proper etiquette, society would be a mess with unregulated be- haviours that would have people talking rudely with- out caring for each other’s feel- ings. People would say whatev- er is on their minds (good, bad, ugly) regardless of how mean or offensive it is. This is where po- liteness plays a huge role in our lives – it surely and really helps in making this world a better place. Know all about how politeness can make a difference to our lives and follow these simple tips to become a polite person. WILD AFRICA: RIVERS OF LIFE, ANIMAL PLANET, 4.00 PM THE AVENGERS, MOVIES NOW, 9.00 PM TV & MOVIES MUST DO MUST SEE FEBRUARY 05, 2020 FACT: Captain America can run a mile in one minute. In a lesser-known comic called ‘Moon Knight’, Beast (from X-Men) explained that Steve Rogers can master any weapon in just sec- onds. FACT: Figure skating and ice hockey were originally part of the Summer Olympics. Only one country has ever boycotted a Winter Olympics – Taiwan who refused to partici- pate in the 1980 Lake Placid Games after the IOC prohibited it from being called the Republic of China. 1861: Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show machine. 1900: The United States and the United Kingdom signed treaty for Panama Canal. 1924: First Winter Olympic Games closed at Chamonix, France. 1944: ‘Captain American’ serial film premiered starring Dick Purcell – first appearance of a Marvel superhero outside a comic. THIS DAY THAT YEAR THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM, STAR MOVIES, 8.50 PM SPY IN THE WILD, SONY BBC EARTH HD, 6.00 PM Walking while texting is known as ‘Twalking’; it has led to many accidents! ASKING PEOPLE TO SHHH WHEN YOU TALK! HOW TO DEAL
