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Q I have been invited to my best friend’s home for a special lunch on her birthday. So far so good, but my dilemma is that I have significantly reduced my intake of sugar and even carbs to maintain my weight as I have PCOS. How can I skip dessert and carb-rich foods like biryani and jalebi without offending my friend and her family? - Mindful Teen A. Hi, it’s good you are trying to find a polite way to manage this tricky situation. Check these pointers. Inform in advance: Though you are not obliged to put every dish on your plate being served at the party, it’s a courte- ous and practical thing to tell your friend about your dietary limitations in advance. Explain it to her in detail why staying off certain foods is crucial to your health. She will understand your point of view and perhaps also be protective about you. Compliment the host: Let the host know how much you enjoyed the meal. Acknowledge the effort that went into the making or arranging of the feast. If a special dessert like a birthday cake is offered to you, have a small bite instead of rejecting it altogether, while staying away from other sugar-laden foods. Offer to pitch in: This is a great time to offer help to your host. However, some hosts will welcome your assistance while others may prefer you to stay seated. Follow the host’s preference. By SUNAIINAA A HAK, etiquette guide “Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself” GEORGE BERNARD SHAW, AUTHOR 03 POLISH YOUR SKILLS Expert SPEAK Respect your neigh- bour’s personal space. Be mindful if you borrow anything from a neighbour. Return the item after using it; if you break the item, replace it with a new one right away. If you have an issue with a neighbour, go directly to that person and discuss it clearly. Not everyone is a dog or cat lover, so make sure your pets don’t wander in your neighbour’s backyards and lawn. Keep them off the neighbour’s lawn and pick up after them. Greet your neighbours during festivals and other special occasions. If you and a neighbour have a misunderstanding, make an extra effort to make things right by clear- ing the air so that things remain cordial. Team NIE Neighbourhoods have changed over the years. Earlier, people brought baskets of sandwiches or sweets to new people on the block. Now socialising is restricting to just friends. However, it’s still nice to have good neighbour etiquette HOW TO BE A GOOD NEIGHBOUR W e live in an overworked world where we don’t get enough time to communicate our feelings effectively. From tight deadlines for school and college projects to planning for career and maintaining good social relations, most of us tend to bottle up difficult emotions like anger on a daily basis. Here are ways to identify triggers and deal with them in a healthy way Whenever you feel a little too worked up and not in control of your emotions, get up and get moving. Yes, doing some moderate exercise will certainly help you vent your frus- tration without feeling the need to yell at any- one. You don’t have to make time for a full exercise routine. Instead, focus on any- thing that gets your heart racing and dis- tracts your mind. If you are not able to find a place to jog or run, you can also do some stretches or go for a brisk walk. TNN GO FOR A JOG OR WORKOUT HOW TO MANAGE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS Irrespective of what the self-help-quotes claim on social media platforms, clamping down your emotions is never a good idea. So, whether it is a minor irritation or a pent-up grudge, it is always better to let go of repressed anger. When you try to suppress negative emotions, it will resurface in different ways. While we all experience feelings of anger and frustration from time-to-time, it is important to find a way to release the toxicity in a healthy manner. So, instead of gritting your teeth and muttering “I am fine”, release that bottled-up anger in a meaningful way by following these tips. We often understate the importance of repeating calming affirmations to soothe our troubled mind. The next time you find yourself fuming with anger, take some deep breaths and repeat any statement which brings you some peace. SOME OF THE STATEMENTS CAN BE: ➤ “This situation is a temporary phase” ➤ “This too shall pass” ➤ “I am stronger than my problems” ➤ “I will be okay and this time will pass” CALMING AFFIRMATIONS REPEAT If you feel overwhelmed with emotions and are not able to find a healthy way to express yourself, just jot it down. When you begin writing down what you are feeling, it helps you understand the situation better, and puts you in a healthier frame of mind to handle it accordingly. It also helps you prioritise your prob- lems and identify what is causing the anger, irritation or frustration. You can also write down whatever you are feeling on a piece of paper and tear it after you are done. IT DOWN WRITE If you have issues with a family member or a friend, talk it out and clear the air. “Don’t hold a grudge (if you feel let down or wronged) as it affects your mental well-being,” advises psychiatrist Dr Jitendra Nagpal Photo: Getty Images LIFE SKILLS Don’t hammer a nail on a common wall that you share with the apartment next door after 9 pm. Be careful about keeping the volume of music at an appropriate level too. Avoid being a noisy neighbour ETIQUETTE MEAL WISE While people are usually mindful about the bigger aspects of table manners, there is a chance that less obvious etiquette norms may be slipping from your mind. Check this manner manual to be a great diner and guest 5 Table etiquette mistakes we make NOT INFORMING ABOUT FOOD RESTRICTIONS BEING GLUED TO YOUR SMARTPHONE Whether you are vegan, celiac, or vegetarian, you should let your host know your dietary limitations before a dining event. Informing in advance gives your host ample time to plan an appropri- ate menu or select a restaurant accordingly. Waiting until arrival can make for an uncomfort- able evening for both the guest and the host. Checking, rechecking, and glancing at your phone again and again is plain rude. It’s pret- ty disrespectful to con- stantly look at your screen or use social media sites during an important lunch meet- ing or dinner with fam- ily or friends. Do resist the urge to pick up your phone on every single notification. A genuine ‘thank you’ goes a long way in making the host feel appreciated. A quick text or email after an event is always expected and is the right thing to do to show that you care. Of course, a handwritten note is the best – but not always possible. IGNORING CO-DINERS It is easy and perhaps simple to just chat with your best friend during a lunch/dinner, but that’s not the most polite thing to do. Make small talk with everyone seated, even if you don’t know them well. It is rude to keep talking to one or two people and ignore others. NOT THANKING THE HOST COMPILED BY TEAM NIE NOT PASSING FOOD CORRECTLY request of a co-diner, it’s considered bad manners to do a little stop and take some for yourself. Note this: Salt and pepper always travel together. If you are offering salt, do pass on the pepper, too. Food and condiments should be passed around the table counterclockwise. When you are passed an item that you do not want, just continue moving it around the table. If you are the middle person delivering a plate on the MUST SEE MUST DO FEBRUARY 04, 2020 MAN VS WILD, DISCOVERY CHANNEL, 4.00 PM INTO THE WILD INDIA, ANIMAL PLANET, 6.00 PM CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, MOVIES NOW, 7.15 PM FIRST MAN, SONY PIX SD, 9.00 PM TV & MOVIES FACT: Al Pacino was the first “face” on Facebook. A very early iteration of the site displayed a header image featuring a man’s face obscured behind binary code. It later came to light that the face was that of acclaimed actor, Al Pacino. 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