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BUILD YOUR
Hi everyone,
Today’s blog looks at an in-depth study of ‘Character Strengths and Traits’
carried out by 55 distinguished social scientists, available at
www.viacharacter.org. The study identifies 24 Character Strengths which we all
possess to a greater or lesser degree. They are universal across all aspects of lifeincluding work, school, family, friends, and community. Some examples of these
traits are kindness, perseverance, hope, gratitude, teamwork, and all of them
can be improved with practise. Click on the link:
http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Portals/0/Poster.pdf to see a poster of all
24 positive traits.
What are the Benefits of Character Strengths?
The aim of the study was to help you learn more about your character strengths
so that you can lead a happier, more satisfying life. There are many benefits of
exercising your character strengths such as:
1. Greater happiness
2. Acceptance of oneself
3. Reverence for life
4. Competence, mastery, efficacy
5. Mental and physical health
6. Positive and supportive social networks
7. Satisfying, engaging, and meaningful work
8. Accomplishment of goals
9. Greater academic achievement
10. Healthy communities and families
http://www.viacharacter.org/http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Portals/0/Poster.pdfhttp://www.viacharacter.org/www/Portals/0/Poster.pdfhttp://www.viacharacter.org/
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Focus on the Good in You
This study is based on ‘Positive Psychology’ which focuses on what’s right with
you, your positive traits rather than focus on what’s wrong with you, your
negative traits. If you have ten minutes to spare take a look at these two
excellent videos explaining ‘Positive Psychology’ and ‘The Science of Character’:
Video 1: What Is Positive Psychology
http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Positive-Psychology#nav
Video 2: The Science Of Character
http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths#nav
http://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengthshttp://www.viacharacter.org/www/Positive-Psychology
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Boost Your Character Strengths
Now that you have a better understanding of positive psychology and the
science of character, let’s look at a number of ways in which you can develop
your positive traits and virtues.
The website provides a number of ‘Suggested Actions’ in which you can try to
exercise a particular character strength. Click on the link:http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/
and you will also see a list of some songs and movies that illustrate each trait.
Try to implement one or two of the suggested actions to help build your chosen
character strength.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Here at Gateway we believe Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and positive
self-talk are some of the best methods to work on your positive traits. CBT is
based on the premise that if you change your thoughts, you will influence your
feelings which will influence your behaviour.
Thoughts à influence feelings à influence behaviour
So if you fill your mind with positive thoughts of gratitude and hope, you will
become grateful and hopeful. If you fill your mind with thoughts of forgiveness
and kindness you will become forgiving and kind. On the flip side if you fill your
mind with negative thoughts of regret and guilt you will become regretful and
guilty. If you fill your mind with thoughts of anger and anxiety you will become
angry and anxious. The idea behind positive psychology is to always re-direct
your focus to the positive, always focus on your character strengths. If you keep
the positive tapes playing in your mind then there will be less headspace for the
negative.
Below is another diagram depicting the link between your thoughts, feelings
and behaviours. Each aspect is inter-connected and can directly influence the
other. Changes in this CBT cycle can begin and end at any stage. For example, if
you change your behaviour this can influence your thoughts and your feelings.
Likewise a change in your feelings will influence your behaviour and your
thoughts.
http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/http://www.viacharacter.org/resources/ways-to-use-via-character-strengths/
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THE 7 GAME CHANGERS OF SUCCESS IN WORK, SCHOOL, RELATIONSHIPS AND LIFE IN GENERAL
If you watched Video 2 you will have seen the 7 character strengths which have been highlighted
as key to success in academia, work, school and your profession. In addition to the character
strengths below are similar words or synonyms that describe the same concept.
KEY CHARACTER STRENGTH SYNONYMS
1. ZEST ENTHUSIASM / EXCITEMENT / ZEAL / VITALITY / ACTIVATED / ENERGISED
2.
PERSEVERANCE PERSISTENCE / GRIT / DETERMINATION / DRIVE / ASSERTIVE / TENACITY
3.
SELF-REGULATION SELF-DISCIPLINE / SELF-CONTROL / COOL / CALM / COLLECTED / COMPOSED
4.
HOPE OPTIMISM / CONFIDENCE / BELIEF / FAITH / TRUST / SURE / EXPECTANT
5. GRATITUDE THANKFUL / APPRECIATION / FEELING BLESSED / LUCKY / FORTUNATE
6. SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE / AWARE OF THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS
7.
CURIOSITY INTEREST / NOVELTY SEEKING / EXPLORATION / OPENESS TO EXPERIENCE
Another two concepts which do not get a mention are relaxation and focus. Here at Gateway we
believe these are very important to maintain and improve your physical and mental well-being.
8. RELAX REST / RECOVER / CHILL OUT / RECHARGE / TAKE IT EASY / KICK BACK
9.
FOCUS CONCENTRATION / ATTENTION / DIRECTION OF YOUR THOUGHTS /
NOTICE THOUGHTS FEELINGS BEHAVIOURS SENSATIONS ENVIRONMENT /
AWARENESS / MINDFUL / IDENTIFY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL STRESSORS
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Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations
Words have creative power. Whether talking to yourself or others you can
create negative thinking and feelings or positive thinking and feelings. The self-
talk you use consistently throughout the day, week and month will become a
habit and alter your attitude for better or worse. Use your words to help you
and not hinder you, below are some guidelines for the use of your positive self-talk.
(Although this blog deals specifically with words, your thoughts can be such
things as an image, a sound, a physical sensation, a future vision, a memory, or
just an ‘intuition’ or ‘gut instinct’ about something.)
Guidelines when using Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations
As you apply your affirmations there are a few guidelines that will help to make
them more effective:
1.
Mean it
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When you use positive self-talk it’s important, when you say it, you mean it! If
you are ‘going through the motions’ and not applying your self-talk with
meaning and conviction then it will be much less effective. It’s essential to
really believe what you say to yourself and MEAN IT!
Emphasizing what you say is another good way to describe how to apply your
positive thoughts. When you emphasize something you add extra intensity (high
or low) of feeling, acting, and expression. Emphasizing your levels of confidence,
enthusiasm, determination and even relaxation will make these traits morepowerful.
2. Keep it short and sweet
In general positive self-talk is best kept short, simple, and effective. A word,
short phrase, or few sentences can be all that ’s needed to activate a character
strength and achieve the desired outcome. While there are many things that
can inspire people to show more leadership or perseverance such as a speech or
a movie these lengthy mediums are impractical amidst the daily challenges of
school, work, errands, relationships etc…
All the examples of positive self-talk given below are designed to be as short,
simple and effective as possible. Also self-talk is very personal and what works
for one person may not work for another. The aim is to find the words that
resonate with you, words that hit the ‘sweet spot’ and create a very powerful
effect. Other advantages of keeping it ‘short and sweet’ include making it easier
to memorise and quicker to recall in times of need.
3. Practise Practise Practise
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The key to creating a positive mind-set is to always focus on the positive by
continually practising your positive thoughts. Having more positive thoughts
repeating in your head will reduce the amount of space for negative thinking.
Changing your way of thinking is hard work which takes lots of concentration
and dedication. The more you practise, the better you will become and the
more it will develop as your natural way of thinking. Positive thinking is a skill,
like learning any new skill it requires repeated practise every day in order to
progress and improve.
When applying your positive self-talk remind yourself often to:
1. MEAN IT
2. KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET
3. PRACTISE PRACTISE PRACTISE
Examples of Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations
Here are some short phrases and sentences designed to activate the key traits.
You can memorise these statements, print them out, write them on a card, or
give them to someone to help you think more positively. The phrases or cuescan be anything that represent a particular trait or combination of traits. Also
listed below are some of the most effective type of cues using ‘The Power of I
AM……….’
KEY CHARACTER STRENGTH SYNONYMS
1. ZEST ENTHUSIASM / EXCITEMENT / ZEAL / VITALITY / ACTIVATED / ENERGISED
Use your zest cues when you want to be more activated, energised and
enthusiastic in work and play.
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· Enthusiasm is key to success, rise up and attack the day with enthusiasm
· Develop a habit of vigour and vitality
· Approach situations as an exciting challenge
· Release the past and pursue your victory with enthusiasm
Ø I am excited
Ø I am buzzing
Ø I am bubbling
Ø
I am bursting with energy
2. PERSERVERANCE PERSISTENCE / GRIT / DETERMINATION / DRIVE / ASSERTIVE/ TENACITY
Use your perseverance cues when you want to be more persistent, determined
and gritty to overcome a stubborn challenge.
· Empower yourself with determination
· Attack your challenges with a determined smile on your face
· No excuses, losers make excuses, winners make it happen
· Whatever it takes I will finish what I started
Ø I am driven
Ø I am assertive
Ø I am persistent
Ø I am full of steely determination
3. SELF-REGULATION SELF-DISCIPLINE / SELF-CONTROL / COOL / CALM / COLLECTED / COMPOSED
Use your self-regulation cues when you want to be more disciplined, composed,
and in control of your urges, impulses and emotions.
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· Stay calm and composed
· Nothing fazes you
· Nothing affects you
· Nothing frightens you
Ø I am cool
Ø I am calm
Ø
I am ice coldØ I am in total control of my impulses and emotions
4.
HOPE OPTIMISM / CONFIDENCE / BELIEF / FAITH / TRUST / SURE / EXPECTANT
Use your hope cues when you want to be more hopeful about the future,
confident in your ability, and optimistic that things will work out for the better.
· According to your faith be it done unto you
· Act confident, put your head up, chest out and shoulders back
· Maintain a “Can Do” attitude and believe in your ability to succeed…I can
do it….I can do it….I can do it….
· Be expectant, hopeful and optimistic. Expectancy keeps a spring in your
step and helps you to see a brighter future. Train your mind to expect the
best and live with expectancy.
Ø I am hopeful
Ø I am optimistic
Ø I am confident
Ø I am a can do person
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BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM
Replace negative self-talk and low self-esteem with… Positive self-talk and high self-esteemJ
· I have a lot to be proud of
· My life has meaning and purpose
· My life purpose can be whatever I choose it to be
·
I have traits, talents and strengths that are needed by my friends, family,and colleagues
Ø I am proud of who I am
Ø I am good enough
Ø I am talented
Ø I am valuable
To show you how you might apply your positive self-talk we will look at an
example of someone ‘failing’ an exam. If the outcome of an exam (or any task,
project, or relationship) is not as expected this can be the source of a lot of
negative voices which may be very distressing for the individual.
1. Pay attention to what you are saying and feeling
First, the person needs to notice what they are saying to themselves and the
consequent feelings of low self-esteem and uncertainty this may be causing.
Examples include:
X ‘I’m useless’
X ‘I’ll never pass that exam’
X ‘I can’t do it’
X
‘I’ll never be any good at anything’
A lot of the time a bad result or negative situation can spark unwanted self-
talk and feelings which the person is not fully aware of. As he or she
continues to berate themselves, this way of thinking becomes a habit and
the person ends up being stuck in a ‘mental rut’.
2. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts of confidence and high
self-esteem
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Second, the person needs to ‘change the script’ and respond with positive
thoughts like:
ü ‘I am confident, I can pass this exam’
ü ‘This is a good opportunity to get an even better result’
ü ‘Failing this time doesn’t define who I am’
ü
‘I am smart, I am skilled, I am good at what I do’
As you apply your new positive spirit remember to:
è Say it like you mean it
è Keep it short and sweet
è Practise Practise Practise
5. GRATITUDE THANKFUL / APPRECIATION / FEELING BLESSED / LUCKY / FORTUNATE
Use your gratitude cues when you want to be more grateful and thankful for the
blessings and people that you already have in your life.
· I have a great family
· I am fortunate to have a roof over my head
· I have all that I need
· I always count my blessings
Ø I am fit
Ø I am strong
Ø I am healthy
Ø I am lucky
6. SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE / AWARE OF THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS
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Use your social intelligence cues when you want to be more socially savvy and
understand others.
· I will pay more attention to what others are saying and feeling
· Understanding what motivates people is important
· I will try to find out what makes other tick
·
The more sociable I am, the more I will develop my skill of understandingothers
Ø I am socially intelligent
Ø I am capable of fitting in
Ø I am aware of the feelings of others
Ø I am empathetic
7. CURIOSITY INTEREST / NOVELTY SEEKING / EXPLORATION / OPENESS TO EXPERIENCE
Use your curiosity cues when you want to be more engaged in different
projects, subjects, and places.
· New experiences, learning and adventures broaden my horizons
· Staying interested about all the different aspects of my favourite topics
will improve my knowledge and understanding
· I am eager to try new activities, methods and designs that are different
from the norm
· I like to explore subjects and discover different ways of doing things
Ø I am curious
Ø I am interested
Ø
I am fascinatedØ I am on an adventure
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8. RELAX REST / RECOVER / CHILL OUT / RECHARGE / TAKE IT EASY/ KICK BACK
Use your relaxation cues when you want to be more relaxed during your down
time so you can fully recover and recuperate.
· Relax, slow down and take it easy
· No worries, no stress, no problems
· Chill out, kick back and put your feet up
· Switch off and relax physically, mentally, and emotionally
Ø I am relaxed
Ø I am taking it easy
Ø I am doing nothing
Ø I am resting and recovering
9.
FOCUS CONCENTRATION / ATTENTION / DIRECTION OF YOUR THOUGHTS /
NOTICE THOUGHTS FEELINGS BEHAVIOURS SENSATIONS ENVIRONMENT /
AWARENESS / MINDFUL / IDENTIFY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL STRESSORS
Use your focus cues when you want to be more focused on what you have to do
and on your thoughts and feelings. A better awareness of what you are thinking,
feeling and doing will allow you to be more pro-active about where changes
need to be made to become more positive. Also it is useful to be aware of howyour thoughts and feelings affect your physical sensations and consequent
actions.
· Focus on the task at hand
· Stay focused on the process
· Focus on your positive thoughts, traits and emotions
· Control your thoughts, think of all the positives and there will be less
headspace for the negatives
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Ø I am focused
Ø I am paying attention
Ø I am mindful of my thoughts, feelings, and behaviours
Ø I am re-focusing on the positive
The above list is just a small sample of the unlimited range of phrases and
affirmations you can integrate into your daily life. You can choose one, adapt it,
combine it with another, or make up your own affirmation which means more
to you. Your self-talk does not have to represent a particular trait, it can be
anything and everything that will help you think, feel, and act more positively.
Creating affirmations about a particular situation can help you to positively re-frame what has happened or is about to happen so that you maintain a much
healthier cycle of thinking and feeling. Re-framing (finding the silver lining) or
viewing situations from a different perspective can be a very effective CBT
technique which can prevent you from being stuck in the same old “mental
ruts”.
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To finish the blog is a concise and holistic approach to happiness and well-being
by Dr Alan Carr, lecturer in psychology at University College Dublin. His
summary can be found in his book: POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY, The Science of
Happiness and Human Strengths, 2nd Edition:
The results of scientific research point to three reliable ways to find happiness:
1. Cultivate relationships that involve deep attachment and commitment.
2. Involve yourself in absorbing work and leisure activities in which you
exercise your strengths, talents and interests.
3. Cultivate an optimistic, future-orientated perspective on life in which you
expect the best.
1. Cultivate relationships that involve deep attachment and commitment.
Working on your relationships will improve your quality of life. People who
have a close family and an active social life generally report having better
levels of mental well-being. Striving to maintain a good ‘work - life’ balance
will keep you mentally refreshed and improve your performance. Taking
time out to develop relationships, socialise and laugh will reduce stress and
help you to become a more rounded positive person.
2. Involve yourself in absorbing work and leisure activities in which you exercise
your strengths, talents and interests.
To be happy, do what makes you happy! It’s essential to choose work and
leisure activities that you enjoy, are passionate about and good at, these
factors usually go hand in hand. Also, feeling happier and more fulfilled is
often a result of doing things that are important to you, have meaning and
purpose and give you a sense of achievement.
3. Cultivate an optimistic, future-orientated perspective on life in which you
expect the best.
Last but not least is to have a positive outlook. The aim is to always look
forward, keep thinking about the next event, keep expecting the best, stay
excited about what’s ahead, the next holiday, the next weekend, the next
day, the next challenge in your work life, in your personal life and above all,
have fun while you’re doing it :D
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Hope you enjoyed the blog, any comments or questions welcome.
Rossa Martin
Gateway Mental Health Project and Rathmines Pembroke Community
Partnership are non-profit organisations covering 34 electoral districts in south
Dublin.