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positivelessons-110131034233-phpapp01

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    Funny LessonsThat Makes You Think

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    That Makes You Think A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbellrings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens thedoor, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, Ill giveyou $800 to drop that towel. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel andstands naked in front of Bob.

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    After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up inthe towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, Who was that? It was Bob the next door neighbor, she replies. Great! the husbandsays, Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?

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    Lesson 1 : Share information with your partner in time.If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with yourshareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidableexposure.

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    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they findan antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, Ill give each ofyou just one wishMe first! Me first! says the administration clerk. I want to be in theBahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. Poof! Shes gone. Me next! Menext! says the sales rep. I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personalmasseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. Poof! Hes gone.

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    OK, youre up, the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,I want those two back in the office after lunch.

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    Lesson 2 : Listen to the influencer firstAlways let your boss have the first say.

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    A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got

    in and crossed her legs, forcing hergown to reveal a leg. The priest nearlyhad an accident. After controlling thecar, he stealthily slid his hand up herleg. The nun said, Father, remember

    Psalm 129? The priest removed hishand. But, changing gears, he let hishand slide up her leg again. The nunonce again said, Father, rememberPsalm 129? The priest apologizedSorry sister but the flesh is weak.

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    Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival atthe church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, Goforth and seek, further up, you will find glory.

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    Lesson 3 : Listen to your partner clearly.If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a greatopportunity.

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    A young man wanted to know how to be successful. He was sent to a wise man who madehim promise to follow his instructions very carefully. He agreed and the wise man took himto a river. The wise man asked him to kneel down in the water and submerge his head.Once under the water, the wise man grabbed his head so he couldnt come up for abreath. After the young man failed and fought for a minute, the wise man released him,threw him up on the bank, and started walking away.

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    You crazy old man!! How did THAT teach me how to be successful?!The wise man turned and said: You will be successful if you wantsomething as bad as you wanted that breath of air

    4 i t

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    Lesson 4 : Have passion to success.If dont get what you wantyou dont want it bad enough!

    L 5 Sit th t

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    A crow was sitting on a tree, doingnothing all day. A rabbit askedhim, Can I also sit like you and do

    nothing all day long? The crowanswered: Sure, why not. So, therabbit sat on the ground below thecrow, and rested. A fox jumped onthe rabbit and ate it.

    Lesson 5 : Sit on the topTo be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

    A t k h tti ith b ll I ld l t b bl t t t th t f th t

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    A turkey was chatting with a bull I would love to be able to get to the top of thattree, sighed the turkey, but I havent got the energy. Well, why dont younibble on my droppings? replied the bull. Theyre packed with nutrients. Theturkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength toreach the lowest branch of the tree.

    Th t d ft ti d h h d th d b h

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    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of thetree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    L 6 Y t b d t d i thi

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    Lesson 6 : You must be good at doing something.Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

    A littl bi d fl i th f th i t It ld th bi d f d f ll t th d

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    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the groundinto a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung onhim. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm hewas. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soonbegan to sing for joy.

    A i t h d th bi d i i d t i ti t F ll i

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    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Followingthe sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, andpromptly dug him out and ate him.

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    Thank You Very Much

    Sompong Yusoontorn


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