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Connection NOT Perfection™

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© All Ears English www.allearsenglish.com

AEE Episode 518: How To Say No To A Business Invitation With Style In

English

Announcer: This is an All Ears English Podcast, Number 518: “How to Say No to a

Business Invitation with Style in English”

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 16

million times. We believe in Connection NOT Perfection ™ with your

American hosts Lindsay McMahon, the ‘English Adventurer’, and Michelle

Kaplan, the ‘New York Radio Girl,’ coming to you from Boston and New

York City, USA.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: And to instantly download your transcript from today’s episode go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts, AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Sometimes people offer you business opportunities that you have to turn

down, today find out how to do it with style so that you maintain the

connection, and keep the invitations coming.

[Instrumental]

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Lindsay: Hey (Hi) Michelle, what’s shaking, how you doing today?

Michelle: Hey (Hi) Lindsay, I’m pretty good. I’m pretty good. It’s so cold.

Lindsay: Oh my God, it just killed me that it snowed yesterday. Usually, I’m in a

good mood but yesterday I was in a bad mood.

Michelle: [laughter] Oh my gosh, yeah (yes) so it really snowed?

Lindsay: It snowed a lot, it snowed like 4 or 5 inches here yesterday.

Michelle: Haaa, I didn’t know that.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes).

Michelle: Wow, here it’s just cold and rainy.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). We are recording this guys in early April, I know this is coming

out at the end of April or possibly even in May but anyways we got snow

in early April and nothing makes me angrier than when we get snow when

it’s supposed to be spring. That’s just wrong.

Michelle: Oh I know, me too. Huh!

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: And I keep on looking at the forecast and it’s not improving anytime soon

so…

Lindsay: No. Alright we won’t go off on our weather rant too more here but that’s

okay. So alright, at least we can just stay in and just podcast all day

Michelle.

Michelle: That’s right.

Lindsay: That’s fun. We love podcasting. [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter]

Lindsay: Alright, cool. So Michelle what are we talking about today? We are going

to answer a question from one of our listeners about what?

Michelle: Okay, we are going to talk about how to say ahh no to an invitation.

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Lindsay: Yeah (yes) and specifically a business invitation.

Michelle: Exactly, exactly.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), so guys we are going to focus a little bit more on some of the

episodes here not all of them but some of them at All Ears English on

business topics because we know that you guys, you guys are working on

your English for work. You want to succeed, you want to get that

promotion, you want to make more money and you want to support your

family better and the way you can do that is through English at work so

we’re going to help you with that starting off with today’s episode.

Michelle: Exactly.

Lindsay: Okay so Michelle let’s go ahead and read the question.

Michelle: Okay.

Lindsay: The question was from Rhee Wong from maybe China, I’m not sure

actually this student is from but Michelle do you want to go ahead and

read the question?

Michelle: Sure.

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: Okay. Here it is, “Hi Lindsay and Michelle, thanks for this great podcast. It

has really improved my English.” Yay! You’re welcome. “I wonder now

what is an appropriate way to say no to invitations?”

Lindsay: Okay, simple question and good question though.

Michelle: Yeah (yes).

Lindsay: I don’t think we have covered this nuanced question yet, Michelle.

Michelle: I don't know.

Lindsay: So I’m really actually excited to dive into this.


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Lindsay: Yeah (yes) because this is a really good example of a topic that I think is

going to help our listeners and guys remember as you’re listening today if

you feel like you’re getting a lot from today’s episode and you’re

scrambling to write everything down instead go over and grab the

transcripts at AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts, m’kay (okay).

Michelle: Nice.

Lindsay: Okay, Michelle we are going to show our listeners today how to say no but

not just how to say no but how to say no to a business invitation.

Michelle: Okay, yeah (yes). That’s important because sometimes you can be – you

can feel really bad and guilty about saying no or like you’re not supposed

to say no especially in the workplace. Don’t you think so?

Lindsay: Oh yeah (yes), I think you have to be really careful about how you “turn

down” again “turn down an invitation” is another way to say decline,

right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: How you turn down business invitations because you know they could be

great opportunities but maybe you just don’t have the time and you want

those opportunities to keep coming your way.

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Right, exactly. Yeah (yes).

Lindsay: But if you say the wrong thing, the person will not come back to you and

invite you again.

Michelle: Yeah (yes) and you don’t want that to happen.

Lindsay: Exactly, exactly.


Lindsay: So Michelle what are some of the things you should consider that we want

to consider for our listeners when we “turn down” an invitation. When we

say no to the invitation.

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Michelle: Okay, well, the first thing is you want to acknowledge that you appreciate

that they thought of you. Right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), totally. It’s not a small thing, you know, I think that this is

applicable for anyone if you’re working for a company or if you’re self-

employed, it’s especially important if you’re self-employed because you

know constantly opportunities are coming your way and you can’t say yes

to everything. M’kay (Okay)?

Michelle: Right, right, right. Exactly. Umm yeah (yes) and the second thing is that is

that you don’t have to give a reason.


Michelle: You could just say, you know, you could just decline.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I think that we feel the social pressure to always give a reason.

I know I feel that pressure. Do you feel that Michelle? To always give an

excuse or a reason?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I think that’s a common thing, you know. Oh no, I can’t

because of blah blah blah blah right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes) but you know that’s not required.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: It’s not necessary.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Just decline and we are going to show you guys exactly how to do that

right now. So what’s a third thing we want to think about when we “turn

down” an invitation?

Michelle: Ahh the third thing you want to think about is to just keep the connection

healthy.

Lindsay: Hmm.

Michelle: What does that mean to you, Lindsay?

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Lindsay: Well that just means to me that there is a reason that this person asked

you, you know, to do this thing. Let’s just give some quick examples of

invitations that might happen, you know, for example in the business

world, well on this show, you know, I invite teachers from italki to come

on our show and that’s one example of a business opportunity, a business

invitation for that teacher and it’s very important the way that that

teacher declines or accepts, right, the words that he or she uses. That’s

just one example, what would be an example of another business

invitation we might get?

Michelle: Umm let’s see, I mean it makes me even think of something as simple as

like going to lunch.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), lunch, I was thinking like a lunch meeting, right, an informal

like maybe it’s someone from another company that you don’t

immediately work with but maybe you want to get to know that person,

maybe in the future you’re interested in working for that company or in

that industry, right?

Michelle: Right, right, exactly. You know so there might be certain meetings or

certain extracurricular things like in the office that come up, you know,

even something like I know offices have different, you know, clubs and you

know it might even be exercising or do some sort of contest or whatever.

[laughter] and somebody might get involved as a group and then you feel

like a little funny, right?

Lindsay: Exactly, those are all good examples like in the corporate world, right, that

there are other ways to build business relationships in corporations

beyond just behind our desks, you know, we could join – we could go and

take an exercise class at lunchtime with someone from work and if they

invite us to do that then it’s kind of in some ways a business invitation

because we are building a business relationship.

Michelle: Right, right.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). That’s really interesting. So alright when we do that we want

to keep that connection healthy and to me that just means that we want

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to make sure that they feel okay to come back and invite us again another

time.

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Right, right, right, right. Yeah (yes) and that is the important

thing you want to hint that you would like to be invited another time,

right. Don’t just close it off.

Lindsay: Exactly. Exactly. So we’re going to show you guys how to do all of these

things in English right now. So the first thing was to acknowledge that you

appreciate that they invited you. What are some phrases we could use to

do this, Michelle?

Michelle: Okay, well you could say “Wow, thank you so much for the opportunity.”

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I like that. Wow! I like your intonation. Can you do that again?

Michelle: Thanks!

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Wow! [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), good. “Thank you so much” is a very polite way to say to say

thank you, right, a very thorough thank you.

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: And then “I also really appreciate the opportunity” is another thing we

could say.

Michelle: Right. Because careful of saying this for more like casual like lunch things.

[laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Yeah (yes).

Michelle: You might want to keep it to like “Thank you so much” or “I really

appreciate your asking me” or something like that but for something like

more simple like lunch or some kind of a club like you might sound a little

funny if you say – if you talk about it as an opportunity. I don't know.

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Lindsay: That’s a good point we have to be careful with the word “opportunity”,

you know as I just mentioned sometimes I invite teachers to come on the

show from italki as guests and that’s definitely an opportunity.

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: Because that’s a huge opportunity but if it’s just a lunch invite then it’s not

exactly an opportunity.

Michelle: Right, right. So for the more casual things, you can say like “I really

appreciate it.” I don't know.

Lindsay: Exactly, exactly. The key here is listening to what native speakers say, you

know.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: When they decline invitations to see what these levels of formality are,

right?

Michelle: Exactly.

Lindsay: What’s another thing we could say to acknowledge that we appreciate?

Michelle: Uh huh, well did we do the second one or ?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), we did the second one.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), so the third one is “I’m honored that you thought of me for

this.”

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), that reminds me of like when someone invites you to join a

project or something.

Michelle: Right, right, right. Also not good for the lunch invite. [laughter]

Lindsay: Not really that great for a lunch opportunity.

Michelle: [laughter] But these are really, really important for these special

opportunities at work, right, like you like you know.


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Michelle: A special project like Lindsay said or umm a special meeting, maybe

somebody is asking you to lead a meeting or something.

Lindsay: Yes, totally and the last one, Michelle, is very formal. I think I would use

this in like super formal situations, what is it?

Michelle: “Unfortunately, I have to decline.”

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), Mhh hhm. Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Yeah (yes) so that might be for something really formal like you’re working

for the queen or something.

Lindsay: [laughter] Right, right, right.

Michelle: [laughter] I’m just joking. It’s not only reserved for that but umm yeah

(yes) this would be for a more formal situation.

Lindsay: Right, exactly. And a couple of other ways to decline, “unfortunately I

won’t be able to participate this time”, right, right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes) that’s good. I like the “this time” addition.

Lindsay: Why do you like that? What does that do?

Michelle: It leaves the door open for next time.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), leaves the door open for next time and that’s what we want to

do, exactly.

Michelle: And it softens it. You know “unfortunately, I won’t be able to participate”

sounds very final but when you say “this time” it’s like mmm well I don’t

know what’s going to happen next time.

Lindsay: Exactly. When we drop these things like “next time”, “this time” that

implies that you want there to be other times in the future. You know that

is a way of building a connection, I mean even in the dating world.


Lindsay: I’ve used that before when I say “Oh maybe next time, we can do that”

you are implying that you want to see the person again. You know?

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Lindsay: Yeah (yes). It’s amazing how these little words can really tip a connection.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). It’s so true.

Lindsay: It’s pretty cool.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: We want to know what your biggest challenges are when comes to

listening and you can get a free video lesson from Jessica Beck on “How to

Respond When Don’t Understand What Someone Says”, go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/listening to fill out your survey and grab your free

video gift. That’s AllEarsEnglish.com/listening. Thanks guys.

[Instrumental]

Lindsay: What’s another thing we could say, one other?

Michelle: You could say umm “I wish I could join you but I can’t”.

Lindsay: Okay good.

Michelle: I really like that one.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), that one would work great for the lunch invite. Right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), exactly. [laughter] Exactly. This one is perfect for that.

Lindsay: Okay and there are a couple of other ways to keep the connection healthy

that is one other thing that we said want to make sure we do.


Lindsay: That we think about when we decline an invitation. How do we keep the

connection healthy, Michelle? What do we say?

Michelle: Okay, well, one thing that you could say is “I hope you’ll let me know if

something like this comes up again.”

Lindsay: Hmm. I like that. I like that. Or “I hope to be able to accept the invitation

another time.”

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Michelle: Very nice.

Lindsay: That’s a little wordy. [laughter]


Lindsay: That’s a little wordy. It takes a long time to say that. So that may be

better written in an email.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), I could see that.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Okay. What are two other things that you would say maybe

for example if you’re writing an email and you’re declining to end that

response? To keep the connection healthy.

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Right, you could say “let’s stay in touch”.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Or “keep in touch”. Those are both good.

Lindsay: So those are good ways to keep that bridge open and make sure you’re

still connected to the person because you don’t want them to think that

you’re never going to accept that invitation.

Michelle: Right, right, exactly.


Michelle: These are all really useful, Lindsay.

Lindsay: Oh well, good I hope they are.


Lindsay: I hope our listeners are going to go out and use these and not be afraid to

experiment a little. Guys that is the way you improve your English is that

you go out and try at least one of these phrases. We are giving you a

bunch of them today. All you have to do is try one of them and bring that

into your vocabulary permanently, okay? So let’s so them how it’s done,

Michelle, let’s go ahead and do a little role play conversation. Are you

ready?

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Michelle: I’m ready.

Lindsay: Okay. So here we go. So, hi Michelle can I speak with you for just a

minute?

Michelle: Sure, Lindsay, what’s up?

Lindsay: Well, Michelle next week I’m going to a conference to meet with 100

other podcasters and media producers around the country. It will be

heavily focused on voice work, the kind of thing that is right up your alley.

Michelle: Oh wow, that sounds amazing.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), would you like join me at the conference? I can get you tickets

at a 50% discount and I would be happy to introduce you to some big

names in radio.

Michelle: Oh wow, that would be really great for building my network.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes) that is what I was thinking.

Michelle: Oh, “I’m honored that you thought of me for this, unfortunately I won’t be

able to go”.

Lindsay: Oh okay, that’s too bad.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), but “I hope you’ll let me know if something like this comes up

again”.

Lindsay: Of course I will, Michelle. [laughter]

Michelle: Okay. [laughter]

Lindsay: Good.

Michelle: Oh that does sound awesome, I don’t think I would turn that down.

Lindsay: I know, I know.

Michelle: I wonder why I can’t go.

Lindsay: It’s unrealistic. [laughter] It’s unrealistic.

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Michelle: Ah hah.

Lindsay: But here you used some of the key phrases that we talked about, Michelle.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Right? You said “Oh, I’m honored that you thought of me for this”.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: I think that is very nice that really is recognizing that you feel umm yeah

(yes) you appreciate the offer.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Right, right, exactly. And then I said, “Unfortunately, I won’t

be able to go” and it’s interesting I didn’t tell you why.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). You didn’t. Exactly, you didn’t tell me why. You just said that

you can’t go.


Lindsay: So that’s fine, I mean you don’t need to get into that slippery slope of

saying oh I have something that weekend and maybe the person solves

your problem and then maybe – you know just don’t go into the details.

It’s not important.

Michelle: Right.


Michelle: And also you know I could add if I wanted to, I could add “unfortunately, I

won’t be able to go this time”.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly.

Michelle: That’s another possible thing that I could have said, right? Talking about

“this time”, “next time”, things like that.

Lindsay: Yup (yes), that’s what we said before and I like that would have been even

better if you had said that because you know then I would be thinking

okay next time we get this conference opportunity to meet other

podcasters, we’ll definitely bring Michelle, right?

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Lindsay: We’ll definitely invite her again.

Michelle: And then finally I said, “I hope you’ll let me know if something like this

comes up again” right, a signal, a very direct signal you know that I really

want to go but I can’t.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), totally, totally. Absolutely, that’s it. So this is good, Michelle. I

mean I think this is a huge skill especially if we are in that place where we

are moving to the advanced level in English and we want to build those

business relationships just to have a better career. I mean the worst

feeling in the world is walking into work and knowing that you can’t

communicate with your colleagues, right, Michelle?

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Yeah (yes), completely. Yeah (yes), that’s really hard so yeah

(yes) guys here are some really good tips on how – how to – unfortunately

when you have to turn down an invitation, how to do it with style.

Lindsay: With style. [laughter] With pizzazz and style. [laughter] I like that. I like

that. And this is very much in line with other topics that we covered in the

Charismatic Connector, right, our course.

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: Michelle and I built this course this winter for you guys for this exact

purpose to build better business relationships and to be charismatic at

work. So guys if you want to get our free charisma master class to get

started with a few of those strategies and skills, go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/charisma and also remember you can go over and get

your native tutor at italki if you go to AllEarsEnglish.com/italki. This is a

really good way, a good topic to work on with a native tutor. Okay?

Michelle: Absolutely.

Lindsay: You can’t just listen to these and then go out and use them. You do need

to practice them.

Michelle: Yes, yes, yes, for sure.

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Lindsay: Okay, cool. Well, Michelle, this has been fun.

Michelle: Yes, yes, yes. I will talk to you soon.

Lindsay: Okay, take care Michelle. Bye.

Michelle: Bye, Lindsay.

Lindsay: [laughter]

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Thanks so much for listening to All Ears English and if you need a seven or

higher on your IELTS exam to achieve your life vision then our “Insider

Method” can get you there. Start with our free video series master class,

get video one now at AllEarsEnglish.com/INSIDER and if you believe in

Connection NOT Perfection ™ then subscribe to our show on your phone

or on your computer. See you next time.

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AEE Episode 519: Do You Understand Where We Are Coming From?

How To Use These Seven Phrases To Show You’ve Heard Someone In

English

Announcer: This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 519: “Do You Understand

Where We Are Coming From? How to Use These Seven Phrases to Show

You’ve Heard Someone in English”

[Instrumental]


million times. We believe in Connection NOT Perfection with your



York City, USA.

[Instrumental]



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[Instrumental]

Announcer: What do you say in English when someone states their opinion and you

want to show that you hear them? Get seven phrases to build a brilliant

connection in English through listening, today.

[Instrumental]

Lindsay: What’s up Michelle?

Michelle: Oh, not too much, not too much. How are you?

Lindsay: I’m feeling pretty good. I’m so ready for spring and for May; the month of

May is going to be an exciting one. So…

Michelle: Yes, yeah (yes).

Lindsay: That’s good.

Michelle: Definitely, me too. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yes. [laughter]

Michelle: We need a nice spring.

Lindsay: I know it’s true, it’s true. Yeah (yes), I understand where you’re coming

from Michelle.

Michelle: Oh [laughter] Well, thank you Lindsay. [laughter]

Lindsay: So that is what we are talking about today, so one of our listeners wrote in

and asked us about the phrase “I understand where you’re coming from.”

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: The reason that I want to talk about this question today is that this phrase

is very natural.


Lindsay: Right, it’s really something natives would use together at a party, for

example.

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Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Don’t you think?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Oh absolutely.

Lindsay: So this listener, Sergei, this is where this question came from on our blog,

is really tuned into native expressions so we want to help him out with

this. So let’s go ahead and read Sergei’s question and then we will answer

it.

Michelle: Okay, alright. “Hi Ladies, Thanks for another piece of art you produce by

recording this episode.” Thank you that is so nice.

Lindsay: Thank you Sergei. Ohh.

Michelle: That is so sweet.

Lindsay: That is fantastic.

Michelle: “I have an idea for the next episode that I would like to share. As far as I

know the phrase “I understand where you are coming from” is close to

“got it” or “I see” and at the same time it’s a little bit different. I would

love to hear your beautiful voices explaining these phrases and examples.

Thanks”. Well thank you so much.

Lindsay: That’s so nice, a piece of art. I mean that we think of the work that we do

here as art so.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), thank you.

Lindsay: Thank you Sergei for recognizing that.

Michelle: That’s so sweet, really. [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter] That’s awesome.

Michelle: Great question.

Lindsay: Great question and we are going to answer it directly; we are going to

make this episode based on Sergei’s question because he asked us a great

question. I want to encourage you guys to do the same thing. Go into our

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blog, ask us a good question and we will be happy to make an episode

based on your question or you can send your question to

[email protected] and remember guys if you like today’s

episode and you want to go deeper with what you learned you do need

the transcripts. So go to AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts to download the

transcripts from today, alright?

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: Okay. So Michelle, “I understand where you’re coming from”, I mean

what does it mean?

Michelle: Hmm. Well basically it means I know what you mean.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I mean how is it different from “Got it” or “I see”?

Michelle: Umm, “Got it” might be more like oh I just understand – I understand the

concept.

Lindsay: Hmm. Mhh hhm. Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Right?


Michelle: Whereas “I understand where you’re coming from” it’s more about

emotions or …


Michelle: Maybe emotions or just, you know, thoughts – more – I don't know – I’m

trying – I’m trying to articulate correctly.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I see what you mean though. [laughter]


Lindsay: I see what you mean. [laughter] “I understand where you’re coming from”,

Michelle.

Michelle: Ah, thank you. [laughter]

mailto:[email protected]

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Lindsay: [laughter] So, no you’re right though, I think you have something there. I

think that I – the phrase, “I understand where you’re coming from” is

empathizing a bit more.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: It’s when someone is talking going deeper into their perspective.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: And it maybe a more personal perspective whereas “Got it” or “I see” it

seems a bit more objective to me and more trivial.

Michelle: Right. Right, right. Yeah (yes), yeah (yes) good point. I like that.

Lindsay: Hmm. I think that’s the difference but it is a very nuanced difference. Also

when I just say “Got it”, it’s more casual and it could come off as umm

more abrasive.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: If we’re not careful so that’s why using the phrase “I understand where

you’re coming from” builds that connection better because we love

Connection NOT Perfection ™ that’s our value here. This is a really brilliant

phrase to use when you really want to support someone.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), absolutely. Great!

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I got it. Okay. We’re going to show you guys a few other ways

to say this same thing that would also convey this sense of empathizing,

m’kay (okay)? We have done a lot of episodes lately on empathy,

Michelle.

Michelle: [laughter] Well, it’s a good topic.

Lindsay: It is, it’s a good topic. So what are some other ways to say this same

thing?

Michelle: Okay, you could say “I see what you mean”.

Lindsay: Yup (yes) or you could say “I know what you’re saying”.

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Michelle: Or if you want to be kind of funny and a little jokey, [laughter]


Michelle: You could say “I catch your drift”.

Lindsay: “I catch your drift” or you might ask someone “Do you catch my drift?”

Right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes). That’s cute like you’re

making a little…


Michelle: Joke, it’s very cute.

Lindsay: A little joke, we don’t hear this too much but it is out there.

Michelle: No, yeah (yes).

Lindsay: It’s one of those phrases.

Michelle: Good to know, absolutely. I’ve heard it.

Lindsay: It’s good to know and then a more just plain and simple one is what

Michelle?

Michelle: “I see your point”.

Lindsay: “I see your point”. This feels a bit more umm like when you’re having a

kind of a debate.

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: Right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), I agree.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it feels a bit more objective and less emotion based.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Oh..

Lindsay: Again these differences, guys, are so subtle.

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Michelle: Yeah (yes) for sure.

Lindsay: But I do think at our listeners at their level they are ready and I want you

guys to start paying attention to these differences, this is what is going to

move you to the next level and that’s where we want to bring you, guys,

okay?

Michelle: Yes, yes.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Guys listening is hard, it can be so embarrassing when you don’t

understand what someone is saying. We want to really understand your

challenges with listening so that we can help you. Go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/listening to fill out our quick survey and when you do

that you get a free video lesson from Jessica Beck giving you three phrases

to use when you don’t understand something. Go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/listening. Thanks guys.

[Instrumental]

Lindsay: Okay Michelle, what are two more, we’ve got two more?

Michelle: Well, you could say “I know where you’re coming from.”

Lindsay: Exactly. And the only difference there is we are swapping in “I know” for

“I understand”, right, swapping the two.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Instead of saying “I understand where you’re coming from”, we’re saying

“I know where you’re coming from”.

Michelle: Right, right, absolutely. And finally you could also say “I see what you’re

getting at”.

Lindsay: Hmm. “To get at” something. Now, that to me has a slightly different

meaning.

Michelle: Right, right, right, right. Yeah what does that mean?

Lindsay: I feel like it means kind of what you’re hinting at, what you’re implying.

24


Michelle: Hmmm. Very true.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it could be used in this context when you’re listening to

someone you want to empathize but it could also be used when someone

is trying to imply something and you want to show them that you get it.

Michelle: Ahh, very nice.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), again, this is also situation based. So that’s why in just a few

minutes, guys, we’re going to show you a good situation but again I just

want to emphasize this is such an important skill, right, supporting the

speaker.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Umm, and I don’t know Michelle, one thing that bothers me about our

culture here in the States is the way we communicate, is the way we jump

on top of each other.

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: You know we don’t really listen and acknowledge often that people have

spoken and they have said something. What do we do if we want to be

heard? In some contexts?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), well we just kind of talk louder, right? [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: We try and yeah (yes) we try and… Oh! Sometimes what happens is I think

people get so excited to say what they are saying.

Lindsay: Yup (yes).

Michelle: And and then somebody else starts talking and in your head, you’re not

listening at all. I mean [laughter] that ….

Lindsay: Nope (no).

Michelle: This has to be a – I mean but you’re kind of like trying to remember what

you want to say, right?

25


Lindsay: Yup (yes). Yup (yes).

Michelle: Do that happen to you?

Lindsay: No, that’s just you Michelle. [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter] It’s not that I’m not listening. It’s just that sometimes like with

my friends or something or I don't know.


Michelle: In a casual situation, you know I might want to remember a story that I

want to tell.

Lindsay: Yup (yes).

Michelle: So somebody else starts talking and then I’m not saying this a good thing

and then you’re just kind of like waiting like what am I going to say, what is

the next part.

Lindsay: [laughter] Yeah (yes), that’s really true.

Michelle: Or like I think in more casual situation that can happen when with friends.

I don't know or at the dinner table. [laughter]

Lindsay: No, I think you’re right. I mean both that and also the talking over thing is

and I think that we need to travel abroad to see how it’s done differently.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: When I travelled in Japan, I noticed that it was very different. There

wasn’t a lot of talking over people the way that we do and if we tune into

that we can notice how different it can be. Right, very interesting. So

that’s just one thing that I think to become better connected because

when someone talks over me, it doesn’t build a connection. Right, I get

upset. I get angry even though it’s our culture way of speaking in many

cases.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: I get annoyed with them and I don’t feel closer to them.

26


Michelle: Right, right, exactly like I said if you’re trying to say something and

somebody interrupts you and then they you know start a whole you know

whole story or something then you’re kind of like, you know, you aren’t

able to be as present, I think.

Lindsay: Right, exactly. And for a lot of our listeners that might not feel natural so

these phrases are giving you guys a way to just be smarter about

connecting with people.

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Like people want to feel heard. The best gift you can give someone is just

a listening ear and then saying something to acknowledge that you’ve

heard what they’ve said.

Michelle: Exactly.

Lindsay: So you can really get ahead in business and in your social life if you show

that you’re listening and you can use these phrases to do that.

Michelle: Yes, alright.

Lindsay: Okay, here we go, Michelle. Let’s jump into a conversation. Are you

ready?

Michelle: I’m ready.

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: So Lindsay, what do you think of the new policy that every store is

charging customers for plastic bags now in Cambridge?

Lindsay: Well, I think it’s kind of extreme. I mean I know it helps the environment

but they didn’t give us much warning. All of a sudden, the law was in

effect as of March 31st.

Michelle: Well, “I know what you’re saying” but I think it could be a good thing.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes)?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I mean those flimsy plastic bags are really harmful for marine

life, I read and it will also reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

27


Lindsay: Oh such an environmentalist.


Lindsay: [laughter] “I see your point” but still what a pain having to bring our own

cotton canvas bags to the grocery store. I’ll never remember to do that

every week. Ugh.


Lindsay: [laughter] You’re such an environmentalist.

Michelle: Yes, yes, I know all about the facts and wow I’m really …

Lindsay: Facts and figures.

Michelle: I do. I mean yeah (yes) good very important stuff.

Lindsay: [laughter] Umm this is something that is happening now in Cambridge

Mass here where I live that’s why this topic came up. Now our city – so

Cambridge tends to be kind of progressive when it comes to laws and the

environment is the on the mind of a lot of people here so they have

enacted a new - a new law that says that basically the stores are not

allowed to give you plastic bags anymore.

Michelle: Hmm. [laughter]

Lindsay: You have to bring your own canvas bags. There are some exceptions like if

you buy meat at the grocery store they will put a plastic bag around it or

things like that. But basically no more bags.

Michelle: Oh wow.

Lindsay: You can still have the paper bags or you bring your own bag, so….


Lindsay: Does New York have a law about that yet? I bet they’re next.

Michelle: Oh I don’t think there is anything yet.

Lindsay: You know Michelle New York is one of often well when Bloomberg was the

mayor, is Bloomberg still the mayor of New York, no?

28


Michelle: No, no. It’s de Blasio.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), de Blasio. So when Bloomberg was the mayor, he was often

like at the forefront of these laws, he was – like New York passed that law

about umm no large sodas, remember that.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: No sodas…

Michelle: Wait did that get passed? I don’t even remember.

Lindsay: The Big Gulp. I don't know. I always feel like New York is always passing

very progressive laws, so…

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes) that was a big deal with the sodas but I can’t

remember if it went through or not. I don't know. Yeah (yes). [laughter]

Lindsay: I’m pretty sure it did.

Michelle: Wow.

Lindsay: Trans fat law like they have to mark the amount of trans fat at these fast

food places.

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: That’s a law in New York, I believe. So anyways, this is probably coming

your way. It’s probably starting in Cambridge and probably California and

then it’s coming your way if it’s not there yet. [laughter]

Michelle: Alrighty.

Lindsay: So anyways just a warning.


Lindsay: Let’s go back through this conversation, Michelle and let’s see how you –

how I made you feel kind of listened to.

Michelle: Okay. [laughter]

Lindsay: Okay, what did I see – what did I say?

29


Michelle: Okay so let’s see first umm ahh, I said, is this the first one, “I know what

you’re saying” but I think it could be a good thing.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. Okay, “I know what you’re saying”, “I know what

you’re saying” that was the key phrase there. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: And then – go ahead Michelle, you wanted to say something.

Michelle: No, no, no. Just that you know I’m saying that I don’t necessarily agree

with you in this conversation that you know it’s really such a pain.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: I’m saying I – I – I want to let you know that I empathize with your

situation so yeah (yes) that’s all.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes) exactly I like that. That’s important too; you don’t always have

to agree. This is not about agreeing, right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: We want to make this really clear. We can do a different episode on how

to agree in English, this is about making the person feel heard which again

I really believe it’s one of the strongest ways to build a connection fast

with someone, okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Yeah (yes), for sure.

Lindsay: And I also said, “I see your point but still”, right. “I see your point”.


Lindsay: That’s another key thing. Did we use any other phrases from the lesson

today?

Michelle: I don’t think so but there are two ahh.

Lindsay: Bonus phrases.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Well, first of all you said, “All of a sudden, the law was in effect

as of March 31st” so what is “all of a sudden”?

30


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I feel like we could do a whole episode on “all of a sudden”.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I like it. Oh yeah (yes), I think this is used very frequently.

Lindsay: We could, we should actually.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Maybe.


Michelle: Maybe we won’t talk about it.

Lindsay: We can, we can.

Michelle: Just a brief little teaser.

Lindsay: We’ve built the curiosity in our listeners’ minds so now so I think it means

or I know it means spontaneously, unexpectedly.

Michelle: Suddenly obviously.

Lindsay: Suddenly, suddenly yeah (yes). Suddenly the law was in effect, “all of a

sudden” I didn’t expect it, I wasn’t ready for it and then boom “all of a

sudden” I went to the grocery store and they wouldn’t give me a plastic

bag.


Lindsay: Very good language trick there for our listeners.

Michelle: Exactly, exactly. And then the second thing is “I mean those flimsy plastic

bags are really harmful for marine life blah blah blah blah”. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I want to say this with the right intonation. So I would say

something like this “Yeah (yes), I mean those flimsy plastic bags are really

harmful for marine life.” Right? So it’s kind of like you’re expressing your

opinion, yeah (yes) I mean.

Michelle: Beautiful, beautiful intonation, Lindsay. [laughter]

Lindsay: Is that natural?

Michelle: I loved it, I loved it. Round of applause, standing ovation.

31


Lindsay: [laughter] Have we done an episode on this? I’m getting so many ideas

today, Michelle. We could do an episode on this “I mean” if we haven’t

done it yet. So again a way to express your opinion, a way to open up the

fact that you’re going to state your opinion I also think it’s kind of a filler

because it’s giving you time to think.

Michelle: Yes, yes. Exactly.

Lindsay: Okay, okay. Cool, this has been good.

Michelle: Yeah (yes)! [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes).

Michelle: Oh guys, I think that these, you know, things are really, really useful when

you’re having a conversation with somebody in English and I think that this

example really shows, you know, I don’t necessarily agree with Lindsay

because it sounds like I’m very into the environment.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Which yeah (yes), it’s [laughter] very important so but I – but I do – I want

her to know that ahh you know I – I understand her side as well umm.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes)?


Lindsay: Yeah (yes). So we have really built a connection here through using the

right phrases and that is what we want you guys to do.

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: Again, focus on Connection NOT Perfection ™, focus on using these really

cool, very cool phrases instead of getting the perfect grammar, okay?

Because the perfect grammar not going to build the connections you want

to give you a happier life, honestly, I’m sorry it comes back to our

happiness.


32


Lindsay: It really does. Umm what’s going to give you the life you want, the friends

you want, the social circle you want is if - making people feel heard, okay?

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: So go ahead and focus on that and get the transcript from today,

AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts and get going with these phrases, guys,

okay. Cool.

Michelle: Alright. Awesome.

Lindsay: Okay, Michelle. I’ll see you back here next time.

Michelle: See you later.

Lindsay: Bye.

Michelle: Bye.

[Instrumental]




get video one now at AllEarsEnglish.com/insider and if you believe in



33


AEE Episode 520: This Driving Advice Will Turn You Into English Expert

[Instrumental]

Announcer: This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 520: “This Driving Advice Will

Turn You into English Expert”

[Instrumental]


million times. We believe in Connection NOT Perfection ™ with your



York City, USA.

[Instrumental]



[Instrumental]

Announcer: One listener asked us how to use the phrasal verb “turn into”. Find out

how to do it with examples from Michelle and Lindsay today.

34


[Instrumental]

Announcer: Guys listening is hard. It can be so embarrassing when you don’t

understand what someone is saying. We want to really understand your

challenges with listening so that we can help you. Go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/listening to fill out our quick survey and when you do

that you get a free video lesson from Jessica Beck giving you three phrases

to use when you don’t understand something. Go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/listening. Thanks guys.

[Instrumental]

Michelle: Hey (Hi) Lindsay, how are you?

Lindsay: Hey (Hi) there Michelle. I’m doing pretty good. How about you?

Michelle: I’m doing pretty well, thank you, thank you. How are you feeling?

Lindsay: Well, my voice is a little bit off today, a little bit hoarse maybe our listeners

can tell, maybe not. I’m not sure but it was really bad over the weekend.

Because I was with my niece, our listeners know from our episode

yesterday and I got sick. I mean it happens. It’s normal. [laughter]

Michelle: Oh gosh, I hope it doesn’t turn into anything like worse.

Lindsay: No, it won’t this happens to me like every season, I get sick. It’s okay.

Michelle: Ahh, well so I mean I just asked you about like I used this phrasal verb

“turn into” right?

Lindsay: You did. [laughter]

Michelle: Ahh see I was being tricky there. Ah ha!

Lindsay: Tricky. [laughter]

Michelle: Sneaky. Well because today we have a listener question. Umm and I

would like, would you be okay with reading that for us, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Of course, Michelle I would be happy to read for you. Here is our question

from Jo from Thailand. Jo says, “I have a question to ask how we use the

phrasal verb “turn into” for speaking and she said sorry if I have a

35


grammatical mistake, thank you for reading.” Thank you, Jo for that

message, that question.

Michelle: Thank you.

Lindsay: Very good question, right, Michelle?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I think this is a great question because wow I don’t – I mean

this one is really, really common, right, you didn’t even realize that I was

using it did you? When I asked you about your …

Lindsay: I didn’t even hear it. I just want to say I like how specific this question is so

guys if you have a very specific question like Jo’s question, you should

write into [email protected] and ask the question because we

love to feature these kinds of specific questions on the podcast.

Michelle: Right and also remember you know a great way to follow along with this

episode today is to get a transcript. Right Lindsay?

Lindsay: That’s right Michelle, exactly, you guys can get your transcripts right now,

instantly at AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts and we also have our new

course the Charismatic Connector. You can get a free video lesson on how

be charismatic in English. To get started at AllEarsEnglish.com/charisma

that is C H A R I S M A. Michelle, do you think that using phrasal verbs like

this is a big part of being charismatic?

Michelle: Oh yes.

Lindsay: Oh yes.

Michelle: I think so because we you know in English we use them all of the time and

we don’t even realize, you know, that we are using them.


Michelle: But if you know them it’s just going to make you sound really, really

natural and like you really know what you’re talking about because you do

because you’re an All Ears English listener. [laughter]

Lindsay: Exactly, exactly. Yeah (yes).

mailto:[email protected]

36


Michelle: You know it’s just going to make you more charismatic in general.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no, you’re right, Michelle. In that course we do go into some

phrasal verbs that you know are natural in charismatic phrases that we

show you so guys go on over there are download your free video course

get started there. So Michelle let’s get into it.

Michelle: Alright. So yeah (yes), we are talking about – thank you Jo again- we are

talking about this phrasal verb which is “to turn into”, right, so what does

this mean, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I think it means to become, to evolve into.

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: To develop into or to grow into. Right?

Michelle: Perfect. Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), right. And then we use it like in a

particular construction right? Like we say “to turn into” something, right,

like just a noun; “to turn into” umm I mean what is something you’ve

“turned into” Lindsay?

Lindsay: Well, yeah (yes), I mean I’ve “turned into an entrepreneur” and I would

like “to turn into a chef”. [laughter]

Michelle: Hmm.

Lindsay: How about you, have you “turned into an email addict”, Michelle?

Michelle: Oh I’ve tried not “to turn into an email addict” but ah I’ve – I’ve “turned

into a umm gosh I’ve “turned into” someone who finds sleep to be very

important because when I was younger I didn’t think sleep was important.

Now but – But now, I’ve “turned into someone whose always like looking

at the clock” like I need 8 hours, I don’t always get it but at least I care

about it.

Lindsay: Oh so you have “turned into someone” who values sleep.

Michelle: There you go, yes exactly. So yeah (yes), I mean do you have a story about

this, Lindsay?

37


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I have kind of a funny story when I first moved to New York I

umm actually applied for a summer job teaching English at large language

school and I didn’t know that being a tour guide – a tour guide in New York

was part of the job [laughter].

Michelle: Oh oh.

Lindsay: Until I arrived and I passed the ESL part of the interview, I had good

experience in Japan teaching English and then the next piece was – she

said oh you know New York right? I didn’t know New York at all, I had just

moved there.

Michelle: Oh oh.

Lindsay: I had only come to New York like a few times with my family but I kind of

lied and said I know New York, yeah (yes).

Michelle: Oh oh

Lindsay: Because I needed the job, right. So I had to very quickly “turn into a tour

guide” of New York.

Michelle: Oh oh.

Lindsay: Umm and you know I had to go and do our routes the night before but we

still got lost. We still got lost like we ended up you know on the wrong

train going uptown, we were supposed to go downtown and…

Michelle: Oh no.

Lindsay: It was a huge mess but it was funny. It was a funny experience.

Michelle: That’s cool did you have to like talk about history and everything like that?

Lindsay: No, not really about history. I just had to get them to the places we had to

go to, you know like the museum.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes) that can be tricky.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), especially on the New York City subway in 2006, we didn’t have

that app that you guys have now.

38


Michelle: Right. Right.

Lindsay: And so we were always going in the wrong direction. But it was funny. It

was fun, we had a good time.

Michelle: Yeah (yes) really the smart phones with the apps, they have saved my life

on directions that’s one thing for sure.

Lindsay: Oh yeah (yes), that’s true. Oh my gosh, yes.

Michelle: [laughter] Anyway, yeah (yes) well that’s good. I mean but I mean you

definitely I mean you are quite the entrepreneur


Michelle: I mean you have turned into I mean right that’s what you were telling us,

right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). I have turned into a serious entrepreneur over the last five

years but Michelle I’m curious about what New York has turned you into?

That sounds bad, right? [laughter]

Michelle: Oh, New York I don't know maybe my friends would disagree but New

York City has “turned me into a fast walker”.

Lindsay: Okay, okay. That’s fair.

Michelle: Umm it has at times “turned me into a bit of an impatient walker”.


Michelle: Like I – when you walk and you’re like Ahhh right.


Michelle: And it has let’s see ooo this is a great question. Umm

Lindsay: Has it “turned you into like someone” who goes out to restaurants a lot

like someone who eats out a lot? Or do you tend to still eat at home?

Michelle: I do both. I’ve been really trying to cook a lot but umm I would say that

one of the things that my husband and I love doing is going out to dinner

39


and trying new restaurants but it’s too expensive so we try not to do it too

much.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I know, I know. So it’s “turned you into” kind of an

adventurous eater.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I would say, I would say. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I’m trying to think of what New York City “turned me into”. I

think that yeah (yes) New York City “turns you into” like sometimes a

slightly less patient person, like a faster-paced person in general not just

walking.


Lindsay: But your life like your life just moves fast because the city moves fast.

Michelle: Oh yeah (yes), yup (yes), yup (yes), yup (yes). I totally agree. I identify

with that. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes) totally.

Michelle: Yeah (yes) so, Lindsay I mean I think it would be a really good idea for us to

try this out in a little bit of a role play, right? Umm so umm here is the

situation. Alright, are you ready for this?

Lindsay: I’m ready.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: If you want to become more charismatic in English, you need the Charisma

Equation, it’s only available at All Ears English and it shows you the five

strategies that you need to communicate in a way that will make you well

liked. Go to AllEarsEnglish.com/charisma to get our free charisma master

class, AllEarsEnglish.com/charisma.

[Instrumental]

Michelle: Alright Lindsay, so we are two friends and ah we are meeting up for

coffee. And we are actually college buddies. [laughter]

Lindsay: [Laughter]

40


Michelle: Umm but we haven’t seen each other in like 10 years which is awhile right.

I have friends like this from college and I really miss, I haven’t seen them in

so long. You have a lot of friends like this, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I do I have a few that I just – you know it’s sad. It’s really hard to keep up

with friends once people move all over the country. You just don’t see

them anymore. Yeah (yes).

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Alright so let’s try it out. Okay here we go.

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: So Lindsay, I’m so happy you told me you were going to be in New York.

It’s so good to see you.

Lindsay: I know Michelle, it’s been a long time since our college days, huh?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). So give me the update. I mean what have you

been up to over the past 10 years or so?

Lindsay: Well, after college I went out to LA and I got a job in a coffee shop in

Hollywood.

Michelle: Oh yeah (yes), oh right I remember you had a screenplay you wanted to

write, what happened with that?

Lindsay: Well, Hollywood doesn’t “turn you into” lalala sorry let me start that

again. [laughter] I said, well Hollywood doesn’t “turn you into a director”

automatically but I did make some connections.

Michelle: Oh cool, cool. Then how did you end up in Boston?

Lindsay: I decided to take some cooking classes while I was out in LA and I landed a

job as sous chef at that fancy new Spanish place in the South End.

Michelle: Oh whoa! You “turned into a cook” now? So cool, you should cook for me

sometime.

Lindsay: Sure, Michelle sounds great. [laughter]

Michelle: Alright, awesome.

41


Lindsay: Okay, guys, it’s pretty simple the way we use this “turn into” you are

seeing it over and over again being used in the same way because that’s

the most common way that we use it. Right?

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: Before this role play we showed you guys a lot of examples of just talking

about what we have “turned into,” Michelle and I, the things that we have

done in our lives and what that’s turned us into, right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), absolutely. Yeah (yes) here you used it – we used it

a couple of times, I mean, you said, “Hollywood doesn’t “turn you into a

director”, right, automatically.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Exactly. Exactly.

Michelle: Umm yeah (yes) and then let’s see I asked you so I said, so you have

“turned into a cook” now, so cool?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), simple. So I really think – can you think of any other ways that

this is used Michelle, are we missing something big? Because it’s very

simple, actually.

Michelle: Umm I don’t know, I think of it in a little bit in a mystical way like you know

if you were with your ah – if you were with your niece you were probably

singing a lot of kid song like “turn into a –“ like….

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes).

Michelle: Like she “turned into a witch” or like she “turned into a you know like I

don’t know” that’s what it makes me think of.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no, I think that makes sense actually, I think that there have

been a lot of kids’ movies where there is someone like a yeah (yes) fairy

comes down and puts their wand on your head and you “turn into a

monster” or you “turn into a “….so.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes).

Lindsay: [laughter]

42


Michelle: But yeah (yes) that’s the only other thing that it made me think of but

yeah (yes) this is really natural umm and to me it sounds, you know, pretty

common.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes) so this would be good example of a quick win for our listeners if

they could immediately, guys, starting today if you could implement this

into your language and start using it because it is quite simple, guys, okay?

Michelle: Oh yeah (yes).

Lindsay: So the way you can make sure that you can do that is by getting the

transcript to go over today’s episode, write down things that you have

heard, you know make sure you read from the transcripts and see what

we talked about. Go to AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts to get it now.

Michelle: Awesome, alright. Well thank you so much Lindsay.

Lindsay: Thanks Michelle I’ll see you tomorrow.

Michelle: Thanks again to our listener for this awesome question.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), thank you so much Jo from Thailand. Thank you. [laughter]

Michelle: Bye everyone.

Lindsay: Alright bye.

[Instrumental]







43


AEE Episode 521: Keiran’s Expert Interviewing Advice: 3 Tips

Announcer: This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 521: “Keiran’s Expert

Interviewing Advice: 3 Tips”

[Instrumental]


million times. We believe in Connection NOT Perfection™ with your



York City, USA.

[Instrumental]



[Instrumental]

Announcer: Hey (Hi) guys, I’m Keiran and today you’ll get the opportunity to prepare

for your next interview with me to get your best possible chance and your

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dream job. Go to AllEarsEnglish.com/italki and register for $10 off your

second lesson. Then book a class with me at AllEarsEnglish.com/Keiran

[Instrumental]

Lindsay: Hey (Hi) Keiran, welcome back to All Ears English. How are you doing

today?

Keiran: I’m doing good. How are you doing Lindsay?

Lindsay: Good, it’s good to have you back on the show. We had on the show back

in September for episode #411 where you shared your SMART framework

that you use with your interviewing students.

Keiran: Right.

Lindsay: And I heard that you have a really nice success story that you want to

share with us today. [laughter]

Keiran: Yes.

Lindsay: An interviewing success story. Yeah (yes).

Keiran: Yeah (yes) I got a few students I guess who found me from your podcast

and ahh one of my students was – she was applying for residency

programs in the U.S. to get in and there is a lot of competition for them.

Lindsay: Yes.

Keiran: There is a lot of competition so we did a lot of classes together. We both

worked really hard and I heard a few weeks ago from her that she finally

got into the program she wanted.

Lindsay: Awesome that is so exciting. So it sounds like students that work with you

over on italki have a very high success rate in terms of getting the jobs that

they want. I think you, last time we talked; you said you had nearly a

perfect success rate or perfect acceptance rate for your students. That is

so cool. [laughter]

Keiran: Yeah (yes), in the beginning it was perfect for about 9 or 10 students, it’s

not perfect anymore but I mean it’s still – it’s very good.

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Lindsay: Yeah (yes)

Keiran: I – I just feel so great when they get in because I mean because getting

into a residency program is tough.

Lindsay: Oh my gosh so tough.

Keiran: For someone who is not a native speaker, I think it’s twice as hard you

know.

Lindsay: Oh yeah (yes) and there are a lot of traps especially when we are

interviewing in a new culture so that why we have brought you in today,

Keiran, to talk a little bit more about just some general interviewing tips

that our listeners can kind of take and run with if they are getting ready for

an interview and then towards the end of today’s episode we’ll find out

how we can work with you personally if our listeners might have, you

know, they want to put together a little program for an interview they

have coming up next month or in a couple of month, m’kay (okay)?

Keiran: Alright.

Lindsay: So let’s just dive right into it Keiran. What’s your first tip in terms of how

we can win that job when we are in a job interview?

Keiran: Okay so my first one is pretty simple and a lot of my students already have

this done when they come to me but some of them don’t.

Lindsay: Okay.

Keiran: And this one is prepare your answers to the general questions before

hand.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Keiran: But what I suggest they do is don’t write them out, first just answer them,

record yourself. Record yourself so you get your natural answer kind of on

record then you want to write them out and you want to change some of

the key words that maybe they are not the best key words that you chose.

Lindsay: How do we know if they are good key words?

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Keiran: Okay, let’s say umm let’s say, let’s say you and I were doing the role play

here and you say Keiran what are some of your greatest strengths?

Lindsay: Mhh hhm. Yeah (yes).

Keiran: And I had been planning this answer and I just say well I’m a really – I’m a

really patient person and I’m really good at ahh organizing my time and

I’m really good at blah blah blah.

Lindsay: Okay.

Keiran: I’m using the same word every time. I’m using “really good”.

Lindsay: Hmm

Keiran: And that doesn’t sound really good, you know. [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter]

Keiran: If I thought about this before hand maybe I could have said I’m proficient

at organizing my time and you just sound better when you plan it a little

bit.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly because you can’t go and tell someone you’re

articulate, you have to prove it. You have to show it, right, and that is

really what they want. I mean having – being articulate people see that as

a sign of intelligence and that you can do the job well whether that is true

or not so it’s really important and that’s really key, really important for our

listeners too as English learners. I love that, I love that. So where can our

listeners find words to replace, you know, with the common words that

they are using, where should they go to find new words?

Keiran: Well, I mean I think that the easiest way to do it is just use the thesaurus. I

think that sometimes that’s trickier for people who are not native English

speaker cuz (because)…

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes)

Keiran: You can use the wrong word by accident on there.

Lindsay: Right, yeah (yes).

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Keiran: And that’s where having a native friend or a tutor really comes in hand

(handy).

Lindsay: Okay, okay. So is this an exercise that you typically do in your interview

classes for your students?

Keiran: Ah yeah (yes) I mean it depends on the student. Some students are at

different levels, right, so depending on how well someone has prepared, I

will do this for the students who need it but it’s not all of them.

Lindsay: Okay, very cool, very cool. Alright, I like that so find out what the common

words are that you’re using if you’re overusing something find a new word

to replace it with, is that the first tip Keiran?

Keiran: Right, there you go.

Lindsay: [Laughter] okay. Excellent what would be number two, what’s your

second tip?

Keiran: Okay, so this one, this one I like and I tell all my students to do it and the

general tip is confidence takes its time.

Lindsay: Hmm.

Keiran: So what I suggest to anyone listening to this is go on YouTube, go on

TED.com, go look at TEDtalks.com and find a speaker you really like and

you’re going to notice that most of them, the vast majority of them, they

don’t rush.


Keiran: They take their time and that’s – I mean confidence is attractive and

people are going to hire confident people. It’s so funny that we’re talking

about this because sometimes you know the most confident people

speaking might not be the best person for the job.

Lindsay: Right.

Keiran: But hey.


48


Keiran: You can control that, right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I mean the point is to get the job, right, and then whether or

not we are qualified for it that’s kind of the company’s issue and that’s a

problem moving forward. [laughter]

Keiran: [laughter]

Lindsay: But [laughter] we just want to get ourselves in the door, right, sometimes

we need that job to get started.

Keiran: Right.

Lindsay: In a certain field so confidence takes time, right?

Keiran: Right, confidence takes its time so don’t rush through your interview. It’s

your interview remember, you earned it and use it well.

Lindsay: Hmm. What are some things that we can do during the interview to

remind ourselves not to rush?

Keiran: Agh, I mean it’s – I think you know just breathe deeply before the

interview, try to stay calm and then use the silent pause.

Lindsay: Hmm.

Keiran: Every once in awhile. You say half of your sentence and then if you’ve

rehearsed it, you’ll know when to do it but you just stop to kind of draw

the listener in.

Lindsay: Oh yeah (yes).

Keiran: To get them to really pay attention to you.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it’s so powerful. I think this may have come up in our last

discussion or our last episode but silence can be so powerful and

mysterious and it can really build a sense of – a good sense of tension,

right, where …

Keiran: Right.

49


Lindsay: The interviewer may wonder what you’re thinking umm and even if you

really don’t know what to say just being silent is much more persuasive

than fumbling around with your words or saying umm or like or other filler

words, right?

Keiran: Yeah (yes), of course. What’s – there’s an expression I like is that the less

– what is it – the less you say – agh I forget it – the less you say the more

powerful it is or I can’t think of it right now but.

Lindsay: Like the more people listen maybe right something along those lines?

Keiran: Or the less you say, the more it means, I think.

Lindsay: Hmm. I like it, I like it. So kind of using the pause and slowing down, I like

that idea.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Hey (Hi) everyone, it’s Keiran and today I’m showing you just three of my

many tips for helping you get the job that you’re dreaming about. If you

want to go deeper into my strategies to be sure you get the job you want

go to AllEarsEnglish.com/italki and register there. We’ll send you $10 off

your second lesson and then go over to AllEarsEnglish.com/Keiran, Keiran

that is K E I R A N.

[Instrumental]

Lindsay: Okay cool, so what would be the third tip, was that your third tip right

there, Keiran or was there a third idea?

Keiran: No that was the second one so the third one is one I started doing recently

I didn’t do this in the beginning but I have one student who was preparing

for an interview for umm for an airline.

Lindsay: Hmm.

Keiran: And I mean it’s a serious job because you have the responsibility of

anywhere from 70 to 100s of people, right, if you’re a pilot.


50


Keiran: And he asked me, he said can you – can you when I do the interview

there’s going to be two people and they kind of do good cop, bad cop.

Lindsay: Hmm.

Keiran: So can you purposely you know throw me off and try to be a little

unfriendly with me. And I started doing that with other students because

the truth is not all interviewers are friendly.

Lindsay: That’s right. That’s right.

Keiran: You know so – so yeah (yes) if you have someone to role play with you and

be a little cold to you or cut you off once in awhile, this helps you just

prepare yourself mentally in case you get that unfriendly interviewer.

Lindsay: Oh I like that. I like that because I feel like a lot of English teachers who do

help students prepare for interviews might not think to do that for

whatever reason they want to provide a supportive encouraging

environment for the student so the student never gets a chance to see a

realistic type of role play for the interview.

Keiran: Right, right.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), and what does that do like this kind of – does it kind of thicken

people’s skin?

Keiran: Oh totally, totally. The first time I do it with some of my students they are

just shocked, they don’t know what to do, you know, they’re – they lose

their train of thought and they get nervous and I think I’m also really good

at it because I worked in a call center and we were calling Fortune 500

companies and trying to get a hold of the directors or the VPs.

Lindsay: Okay.

Keiran: And these people hate being harassed, [laughter] so they were – so they

are often not the friendliest people to talk to and it’s just great interview

practice to do this to do this drill with someone.

Lindsay: [laughter] Yeah (yes). You really need, you know if our listeners are

getting ready for a job interview, we really need to set up that intentional

51


opportunity to practice these kinds of things. So what kinds of things do

you throw out there to the student in this kind of bad cop role play to

throw them off like you said you cut them off, what else do you do? Is it

like body language? Or are you really intimidate them or what?

Keiran: [laughter] Ahh yeah (yes) I do, I mean I try not to be too mean, I mean I

think there is a level of professionalism that even the interviewer should

respect but…


Keiran: But sometimes I’ll say you know these are all second – they are all not

speaking in English, they are not native English speakers so I’ll say you

know I’ve noticed that your English isn’t very good, I don't know if you’re

going to be able to fit into our work environment.

Lindsay: [laughter]

Keiran: These are all – they will – the first time I do this – they are just like ah – ah

– ah well I – I – I am practicing and you know when you see them kind of

crumble in front of … and that’s good that they crumble there because you

don’t want to crumble in the actual interview.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no, I like that. I like that. And so for your student who was

able to get that job that she was looking for were these some of the things

that you used in the classes with that student?

Keiran: Yeah (yes), we did do this.

Lindsay: Awesome.

Keiran: We did do this and it’s good that we did this because I think it toughened

her up, you know.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), toughened her up. Do you think there was one kind

over arching thing that she did in general that was kind of the key to her

success that made her different from other students that maybe don’t get

the job?

52


Keiran: Oh man, I just – I just think that we both – she really worked hard – I mean

we really worked hard. I worked hard for her and she always listened and

took – she took the criticisms well and I think it’s hard work and

preparation.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), oh gosh. Mhh hhm. Go ahead.

Keiran: She just put in the hours you know and we – we – I think if you prepare

yourself, it’s 80 or 90% preparation and there are keys but you got to use

them all together, right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no, you’ve got to put it all together and so I would imagine you

have like a framework that you really run students through I mean last

time we learned about your start or start or star frame - sorry about your

smart framework ahh for getting your dream job in English so I would

imagine that in your classes it’s quite structured and you have all of these

kind of best practices that you’ve used on students where they have gone

out and actually gotten the jobs that they wanted based on their work

with you. I love that so Keiran do you have any room in your schedule for

some of our listeners, I know that a few of our listeners have already gone

over there to work with you but would you be willing to take a few more?

Keiran: Yeah (yes), I mean there’s always – it’s always better to schedule it ahead

of time then the students can get their pick of when they want to have the

class but yeah (yes) there’s a few hours here and there but you’ve got to

schedule them ahead of time now, I’m a lot more busy than I was last time

we had this – last time we did the podcast.

Lindsay: Right, you’re in demand now because the students have seen your classes

actually work. So guys if you want to book – if you have an interview

coming up, I really encourage you to book a lesson with Keiran and try his

frameworks and work with him because clearly a lot of the students that

have done this have gotten the job that they were going for. I love that.

So guys there’s a two step process to book a lesson with Keiran. Step one

is to go to AllEarsEnglish.com/italki when you register there as a new

student, we’ll send you $10 off your second lesson with Keiran. Guys to

find Keiran’s profile step two is go to AllEarsEnglish.com/Keiran, that’s

AllEarsEnglish.com/Keiran after you go and register at

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AllEarsEnglish.com/italki. See you there. So guys I highly encourage you

to go over and work with Keiran, check that out for your next job interview

and Keiran I want to say thank you so much for coming on the show. I

really appreciate it.

Keiran: And thanks so much for having me, Lindsay.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), we hope to have you back again soon. Good luck.

Kevin: Alright, bye bye.

Lindsay: Thank you, bye.

[Instrumental]





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