Prepared by Lynn Malley, JD, MA, LLMCreative Conflict Management Resources

www.mediate.com/malley , lynn.malley@mediate.com

Air Force Reserve Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Training

February 24-26, 2009

Including Family and Community

in YR Reintegration Efforts

Consider Multiple Backgrounds

Consider Cultural Differences

Use Appropriate Teaching Styles

Build Community Relations

* YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF THIS SESSION

Write them briefly on the 3x5 card on your table At the end of this talk, I’ll ask you to write down

what you learned I will collect the cards

* TURN TO A NEIGHBOR YOU DON’T KNOW WELL

Tell that person at least five roles you play or have playedTell them in which roles you feel more or less competent

Your Background –The Roles You Have Played

* Why do the roles we play matter in the designand planning of Reintegration Events?

MY BACKGROUND –THE ROLES I HAVE

PLAYED Parent

Daughter 26 (jewelry maker)

Son 24 (OIF veteran) Former wife of Army Reservist Teacher (elementary and high

school) Lawyer

Prosecutor Family practice

Mediator, mediation and negotiation trainer

Law Professor (ADR) Community mediation center

manager

OK DMHSA Policy Team Member on Return of Veterans

OK State ESGR Committee Member

OK ISFAC Member Speaker at YR

Reintegration Events

WHY DO OUR BACKGROUNDS (THE ROLES WE HAVE PLAYED) MATTER?

They affect how and what we see/understand

They set our limits and guide our aspirations

They inform our decisions

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Young woman? Old woman?

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Service Member:

Your commanding officer or your buddy

Family/Community Member:

One more person in a uniform

WHAT DO YOU WANT THE PEOPLE AT YOUR YELLOW RIBBON REINTEGRATION EVENT TO SEE?

A commanding officer?

One more person in a uniform?

Someone who can assist them?

WHAT CULTURAL DIFFERENCES LEAD TO THIS DIFFERENCE IN PERCEPTION?

Military Viewpoint

Buddies (cohesion)Accountability Targeted Aggression Tactical Awareness Lethally Armed Emotional Control Mission Operational Security

Individual Responsibility      

Non-Defensive (combat) Driving Discipline and Ordering

Civilian Viewpoint

Withdrawal from FamilyControlling BehaviorInappropriate AggressionHypervigilanceLocked and Loaded at Home Anger/DetachmentSecretivenessGuiltAggressive DrivingConflict

From http://www.virtualarmory.com/mobiledeploy/PDHRA/battlemind.aspx

WHAT CULTURAL DIFFERENCES LEAD TO THIS DIFFERENCE IN PERCEPTION?

Military Expectations

Do what you are told

Do it on short notice

Do not ask questions

Do not need to know why

Do not give negative feedback

Do not make suggestions

Expect Briefings

Civilian Expectations

Ask why

Expect enough notice to make arrangements

Ask why

Do not go if you do not know why

Tell them what you think

Expect interesting presentations

How Do these Differences Affect How We Plan for Reintegration?

WHAT IS REINTEGRATION ANYWAY?

the return and acceptance of a disabled person as a participating member of the community (from Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.)

A viable reintegration is achieved when the necessary political, legal, economic and social conditions for a decent life in peace and dignity of ex-combatants are attained. (Definition adapted from Handbook for Repatriation and Reintegration Activities (UNHCR, Geneva, May 2004)

After wars' end, soldiers once again become civilians and return to their families to try to pick up where they left off. It is this process of readjustment that has more often than not been ignored by society. -- Major Robert H. Stretch, Ph.D in Textbook of Military Medicine: Vol. 6 Combat Stress

WHAT IS RE-INTEGRATION ANYWAY?

to integrate again into an entity: restore to unity (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reintegrate)

For example, After studying abroad After college After being a missionary abroad After teaching and living abroad After a treatment program After being released from prison After being deployed

**What happens when there is no preparation for returning home? Your experiences?

WHAT IS RE-INTEGRATION ANYWAY?

“The Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program shall consist of informational events and activities for members of the reserve components of the Armed Forces, their families, and community members to facilitate access to services supporting their health and well-being through the four phases of the deployment cycle…”

Service Members

CommunityMembers

Family Members

HOW DOES RE-INTEGRATION HAPPEN?WHO IS INVOLVED? Reintegration happens through the

cooperation and planning of each of these groups

All are necessary

Service Members

CommunityMembers

Family Members

REINTEGRATION: WHY DOES IT REQUIRE SERVICE MEMBER, FAMILY, AND COMMUNITY?

WHO MAKES UP EACH OF THESE GROUPS?

Service Members Family Members

Spouse / Significant Other

Children / Stepchildren Caretakers of kids Parents / In-laws

Military Community Members Military Onesource VA Veterans’ Organizations other

Civilian Community Members Educators

Higher Ed K-12

Employers Current Potential

Service Providers Counselors Law Enforcement

Drug Court Medical Providers other

HOW DOES REINTEGRATION HAPPEN? OR, HOW ARE SERVICE MEMBERS MADE WHOLE

WHEN THEY RETURN FROM DEPLOYMENT?

o Meetings for service members, families, and community members are planned according to the schedule in the YR Legislation.

o People from each group are invitedo Service members need to know why they are being

asked to participateo Commanders need to be able to educate and encourage

their peopleo Family members need to know why they are being

asked to participate and what they can expect to get out of ito Information about child care is critical

o Community members need to know why they are being asked to participate and what they can expect to get out of ito They need lots of noticeo They need to know what their role is

HOW DOES REINTEGRATION HAPPEN? (CONT.)

o Community members can provide important support in other wayso Educators can …

o provide information about how people learn besto Design pre and post event surveys that are valido Help design programs for the children to help them

cope with deployment/reintegration issueso Educational Institutions can…

o Provide information on their classeso Show how they treat service members

o Employers can …o Come to job fairso Provide resume writing classes

o Helping professionals cano Explain their services are for service memberso Run community dialogue groups

BEFORE AN ACTIVITY…

Give multiple notices/invitations in multiple ways Email an invite Mail a brochure Tell the commanders in person

Get the notices out early Answer any “Whys” you anticipate Be sure any presentations are interesting and

appropriate for the group Have a professional prepare a needs assessment

Service Members

CommunityMembers

Family Members

DURING AN ACTIVITY…

Make everyone feel welcome Use name tags that give important information

First and last name Role at the event Role in the deployment

Be sure any presentations are interesting and interactive

Ask for feedback

Service Members

CommunityMembers

Family Members

WHY USE NAME TAGS?

Remember the general… or airman…

WHY MAKE PRESENTATIONS INTERACTIVE?

HOW TO MAKE PRESENTATIONS INTERACTIVE?

Talk to people by name Ask participants to share a thought with a

neighbor Ask participants to write something down

to hand in or just to remember Remember that attention drifts after 18

minutes…

MORE WAYS TO ENGAGETHE COMMUNITY…

Engage professionals to run community discussions Deliberative Dialogue (http://www.nifi.org)

Everyday Democracy (http://www.everyday-democracy.org)

Support or start a Student Veterans’ Group Educate community professionals about military culture

Therapists and Doctors Police and Parole Officers Mediators and Educators Lawyers and Judges

Service Members

CommunityMembers

Family Members

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES: MILITARY AND CIVILIAN

Why does this matter? Yellow Ribbon is about a three part reintegration

Service members Family members Communities

Military and civilian cultures are different Battlemind slides have an excellent example of

this Talk to your neighbor about how the cultures differ and how that might impact your YR

event planning

REACHING OUT TO CIVILIANS – WHO? Families

Spouse Significant Other Children/

stepchildren Parents Caretaker for

children

Community members Employers Educators

K-12 Higher Ed

Mental Health professionals

State Agencies Law Enforcement Military benefit

providers

REACHING OUT TO CIVILIANS – HOW?

Include family and community members on your team

Speak Civilian Don’t order them Don’t use ‘militaryese’ Give lead time Give details Tell why Build personal relationships

USE APPROPRIATE TEACHING METHODS

Once You’ve Got Them, Don’t Bore Them – They May Not Come Back

Involve them in the presentations Have them talk with their neighbor about the topic Have them jot down questions at the beginning or

the end Give them the opportunity to meet in different

types of groups Have civilian and military presenters Brief the presenters on having interactive presentations Use name tags that give appropriate info

COMMUNITY RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING: NOT JUST ABOUT HAVING THE VA OR ESGR SPEAK If your families do not live near a base, they may

not have others who understand military culture to support them or their children or parents

Involve the community, don’t brief them Promote and get involved in community dialogues Consider community or school Art Shows Engage with state agencies and professionals

10 states have mental health teams for vets 35 states have free mediation services for vets Therapists/lawyers/mediators/doctors organizations are

organizing to provide free services Many churches provide services for veterans

Universities are developing veterans organizations

FEEDBACK PLEASE…

Did you learn anything? Did you learn what you expected to? Write what you learned or other comments

on your 3 x 5 cards and pass them to the end of your row

I am happy to give you feedback or other assistance

lynn.malley@mediate.com www.mediate.com/malley