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Relapse“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins – he will confess them and forsake them.” D & C 58:43

In The Miracle of Forgiveness, Pres. Kimball tells us that until we can face and turn away from previous sins, we haven’t fully repented.

All 12 step programs practice

Faith in God (Step 1-3)

Repentance (Steps 4-11)

Serving others (Step 12)

Today’s Goals

• Outline 12-step repentance

• Present Evidence

• Common elements of addictive behaviors

• Most effective inventory method

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7 8

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TRUT H

CON FESS ION

TEST ING

WILLINGN ESS HU MI L IT Y

AME NDS

SEE K INGGOD’S WILL

CO NT INUI NGINV ENTORY

4th Step the Key

• Pic of BB open to pages 64-65

There is no PROOF!

• MY EXPERIENCE

28 YEARS

Before Process (BP)

11 Years

After Process (AP)

17 Years

2 meetings/week1160 meetings

BP1160 RELAPSES

1740 meetings AP

12 RELAPSES

• Why not everyone?

The Road Less Traveled

• It’s HARD!!!• A lot of WORK• Lots of nay sayers• Takes a long time• Gut Wrenching• NO EXCUSES!

SUBSTITUTION

• GROWING WITH THE PROGRAM

• 50 OR 100/200 LBS

• 50 = OVER-EATING

• 100 = GIRL FRIEND

• 200 = BOY FRIEND

I have now presented my evidence

We’ll take a brief recess to review and answer questions

The Savior tells us, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Most addicts know they are addicts but that truth doesn’t stop them from acting on their addictions.

What is the truth that will set me free?

FREEDOM=WHY do I

do the things I

do?

• Humans are complex!

• Baa jillions of reasons. Right?

•WRONG!

• Only TWO reasons.

2

FEAR FAITH

Good Behavior

FAITH

FEAR

Bad Behavior

FEAR

FAITH

There are only a handful of channels through which human beings respond to any situation.

How Do Fear or Faith Drive Us?

–Self-esteem–Security (financial & physical)

–Ambitions–Personal relationships

–Sexual relationships

– SELF-PRESERVATION

HUMAN INSTINCTS

Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance

Why does someone put in the effort to develop her personal talents, whatever they are?

Self-esteem.

Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance

Why do fathers work long hours to provide for their families?

Security, both financial and

physical.

Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance

Why do people strive to learn more and to do more in their lives.

Ambitions.

Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance

Why do people adjust their behavior to accommodate other people?

Personal relationships.

Examples of Instincts in Proper Balance

Why do people get married?

Personal and sex relationships.

Examples of Instincts Out of Balance

Why does someone put in the effort to develop his personal talents, whatever they are?

Narcissism

Examples of Instincts Out of Balance

Why do fathers work long hours to provide for their families?

Examples of Instincts Out of Balance

Why do people strive to learn more and to do more in their lives?

Driven by pride

Examples of Instincts Out of Balance

Why do people adjust their behavior to accommodate other people?

Control – domination - dependence

Examples of Instincts Out of Balance

Why do people get married?

Philandering – pornography – etc.

Why the Difference?

• Narcissism

• Work-aholism

• Driven by pride

• Control – domination - dependence

• Philandering – pornography – etc.

• Fear of – being flawed, not good enough

• Fear of – not being financially or physically secure

• Fear of – not being good enough, not being better than

• Fear of – not getting what I want or losing what I do have

• Fear of – not being lovable, not being trusted, rejection

FEAR IS THE BASIS OF ALL SIN.

You say the church encourages and inspires us all to have greater faith…

WHY NOT ADDICTS?

REVIEW

FEAR starts all sin

Fear filters through our INSTINCTS

What isn’t he seeing yet?

He isn’t seeing how his behaviors are the result of fears filtering through the pathways of his instincts.

Almost every thought, emotion, word, and deed has been distorted by his

fears.

• He isn’t seeing how fear is causing him to desperately overreach to fulfill his instinctive needs.

He isn’t seeing that he has never trusted God enough to simply live the commandments and let God fulfill His promises.

• These are the insights that will break the pattern of lies keeping him trapped in addiction.

SELF-DECEPTION

• Chronic self-deception

• Prevents unaided discovery

• Help is needed from – God– Sponsor

Facilitating FormatPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dihe shonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Facilitating FormatResentments

Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Why Resentment?

• “And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, between thy seed and her seed…” Moses 4:21

Enmity“A state or feeling of hostility.”

•A Gift from God

REPENTANCE

Enmity - A Red Flag

Facilitating FormatResentments

Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Facilitating FormatIncidents

Dad Incident 1 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 2 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 3 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 4 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 5 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 6 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidDad Incident 7 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Mom Incident 1 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidMom Incident 2 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidMom Incident 3 Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidKathy Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPhilip Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidNeil Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidRuth Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidGod Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Myself Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPolice Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

The church Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPolitical parties Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidTeachers unions Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Speed limits Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidLaw of chastity Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Word of wisdom Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidHonesty Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Facilitating FormatInstincts

Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Facilitating FormatSelfish

Person Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPerson Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Institution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidInstitution Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng AfraidPrinciple Incident Instincts Selfish Dishonest Self-seekng Afraid

Please Listen

• IMPORTANT

SEX RELATIONS INVENTORY

• Saved for last

• Evokes the most fear

• Previous work has prepared us

• Nothing to fear – nothing graphic

Final Questions

•My Testimony

Thank You