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 An Inner JourneyBy Alison Rose Levy

ortunately, I had eight days between projects tofind out. Though loved ones urged me to col-

lapse on a beach, I intrepidly decided to undergothe Hoffman Quadrinity Process, which claims to

help people attain permanent relief from the uncon-scious patterns, which can originate in childhood, and

to which we often unknowingly re-enact to our detri-ment. Past conditioning can crimp experience, cloudperception, and diminish the ability to receive and givelove. That’s why many therapies and spiritual practices

aim to cleanse the mirror of the soul.The mirror of my soul was definitely overdue for a

cleaning. A multi-tasking career woman,I’d find myself awake at three a.m. planning what I’d say to so-and-so

or tapping my foot when I spoke to my own family members. I routinely paid bills when I was on the phonewith my mother. But the outer busyness was just a cov-

ering for self-doubt. A beach respite would temporarily allay but not remove these feelings, nor would it stopthese habits. Instead I yearned for transformation andsearched for a retreat that would keep on giving.

The Hoffman Process is a residential program(offered at sites throughout the world), which takestwenty-five initiates through an intensive series of experiences, a kind of hero’s journey. The changes

effected by the Hoffman Process (which some 60,000have undertaken), can impact one’s relations with oth-ers,family,work, financial grounding,health,as well asother critical areas of life. Hoffman Quadrinity gradu-

ates include psychologist Joan Borysenko and businessmanagement leader and author, Ken Blanchard.

Bob Hoffman, a Bay area healer,created the Pin 1967 with the help of Dr. Claudio Naran

another prominent psychotherapist.Raz Ingracurrent Hoffman Institute director, worked with Hoffman from 1989 until Hoffman’s de1997.A recent study done by University of Cal

researchers showed significant decreases in mfor depression, anxiety, and obsessive-comsymptoms coupled with increases in emotional gence,spirituality, forgiveness and compassion,

ticipants immediately after undergoing the HProcess and even greater improvement in one yeretreat keeps on giving!

Impressed with these results, I trave

California’s Napa Valley where the White SSprings Spa is the Hoffman Process U.S.home. Tfeatures sulfur springs, a pool and whirlpool, re

groves, and hills with tumbling waterfalls. Fahealthy meals would support our daily program participants agreed to forgo phones,email, outsidtacts (except in emergencies) as well as all mood a

activities like jogging, news consumption, and mtion. Creating this disconnect would permit buriings to freely arise without allowing our normalto stuff,deny,or deaden them.

Prior to the workshop, we filled out extensivtionnaires to help surface troubling patterns,tracinback to either or both parents. For me,workaholisdoubt,and fear topped the list. Hoffman defined w

called the “Negative Love Syndrome,” as the procleads people to adopt their parents’worst traits in an

I go to spas to treat my body and visit retreats to reconnect with my spirit.I’ve foun

ace in silence and nature, watched the sunrise on five continents,a nd conversed

wise teachers. Retreats have ended, the adventures have concluded, my tans

faded, and the photos from it all have been placed in their frames. And from it a

discovered that the source of my daily joy can only be found in what I carry in my

What I often seek in distant places is really to restore my bo dy and my mind, t

peace and perspective, and to return to my best self.I seek to be open-hearted

cent,prese nt,f resh,com passionate, and wise.How do I rediscover that shining se

 f 

HealingHealinglifestyles & spas lifestyles & spas 

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since just talking about it will notalways suffice. When I realized that

this mixed group of men andwomen would be pounding bats onpillows, while hollering our respec-tive hurts, angers, and pains, I was

mortified and felt certain that themen in the group would never again

 join me at lunch once they realizedthe anger I harbored. But in a guid-

ed contemplation, I heard a voice of inner guidance that urged: “Don’thold back!”

Hello? How did that voice know 

that “Hold back!” was practically ourfamily motto?

As other group members ventedtheir feelings, I realized we were all

in the same boat. Expressing all Icould never tell my dad opened upa cathartic flow that helped restoremy authentic voice and self-respect,

and removed my negative self-judg-ments.I wasn’t an angry bitch;I wasa passionate woman making con-tact! Seeing another participant, a

man I knew to be a kind business

consultant and father, raise his batoverhead and pound with full forceas he screamed a choice epithet at

his parent helped egg me on.Afterwards, to my surprise, insteadof shunning me, group members(including the guys) continued to

 join me at the scrumptious meals.We had a shared bond. Seeing peo-

ple at their so-called “worst”—venting their taboo emotions—

bred closeness. At the same time,since the 1960s (when the HoffmanProcess was developed), therapistshave discovered that reliving trau-

ma or recycling anger can in somecases be “re-traumatizing,” especial-ly when the trauma is severe andthe person is fragile. That’s why the

this process may not be right foreveryone—nor should you take upventing on your own.

At the next stage of the experi-

ence, we were guided to see our all-powerful parents as little children.Looking deeply into my dad’s child-hood, for the first time, I fully 

understood the rejection and isola-tion he’d suffered, which undoubt-edly played some role in turning himinto the armored, work-oriented

man he became. I wept with empa-thy for him.Surprisingly,experienc-ing the anger and hurt freed me tofeel the love. Now I no longer had to

take his coldness personally or duti-

fully enact his agenda;I was also ableto connect with him in a moreauthentic, heartfelt way.

Looking around me, I saw thatmine was just one of many heartstouched by the Hoffman Process. Aswe were invited to share,an array of 

shining selves glowed. One man,terrified of his own anger, discov-

ered the great love within him.shy young woman found courage

express her abundant artistic giftA loyal and caring man finallearned how to care for himself.woman who felt like an outsid

was welcomed for her authenticiand spirit.A man at the pinnacle success found a new vocation ashealer. A woman, poised in trans

tion,found hope for a new life. AnI learned to look into the eyes another without fear or the armof professionalism.

Once we had worked on our paterns, we were given the opportunito look into the eyes of other groumembers and place a gentle hand o

their heart centers. As I looked intheir eyes, the vulnerability answeetness of each soul with whomconnected imprinted a blessing o

my heart that I will never forget.Back home, I’ve carried th

openheartedness I rediscovereback into my life, and whenever

fall back into the old patterns

workaholism, self-doubt, and fear just rememb er those eyes, anrepeat to myself a healing stateme

we often heard throughout thHoffman Quadrinity Process,“I alove, I am loving, and I am lovable.” I had found the retreat th

keeps on giving—and with it I’vfound my shining,best self.d

to get love. Typically, people imitate thetrait, rebel and do the opposite, or attractpeople who enact the pattern for them orwith them.

I knew my own patterns all too well,butrecognition and resolution are not thesame. That’s why this process builds uponrecognition with a structured and progres-

sive series of experiences. Performed indi-vidually or in groups, these experiences

incorporate a range of cathartic approach-es, visualization and spiritual reconnection

exercises, and potent rituals to help break bad patterns. The Hoffman philosophy views people as multi-leveled beings whoconsist of emotional,intellectual, and spir-

itual selves, housed in the body.Throughout the process, these four aspectsof the Quadrinity (emotion, intellect, spir-it, and body) are addressed. And the entire

process takes place within a safe group set-ting that is supported by four skilled andexperienced teachers, who lead sessionsand provide extensive individual support

and daily check-in’s to keep each partici-pant on track. Every day of the experienceis intense and action-packed, a sort of psy-

cho-spiritual Outward Bound where yousurmount your most outsized obstacles.

At first, when we addressed our pat-terns, I surfaced my adopting dad’sworkaholism as a way to be close to him.

The upside: A successful career. Thedownside:A duty-bound professionalismthat blocked my creative fun side. In my early twenties, I’d lived in the country,

danced every day, ran children’s theatregroups, painted watercolor landscapes,and baked Viennese desserts. I wonderedwhy I had abandoned these expressions.

Next, we were asked to write uncen-sored letters to the parents of our child-hood that revealed our true feelingsabout the patterns we’d adopted from

them. Studies show that uncensored let-ter writing reduces stress and strengthens

immunity—although it’s essential neverto send and,in some cases, best never to

reread the letter either—in fact, at theProcess, we burned these letters afterwriting them. Although my father hadpassed away, I found that I still had a lot

to say to him.During my upbringing,my father ruled. Disagreement was forbid-den.I was taught that sharing anger,hurt,or any vulnerable feelings with men was a

turn-offand verboten. I shyly avoided theeyes of male loved ones, friends, and col-leagues since I feared they’d reject meunless I acted “professionally.” No won-

der I awoke at three a.m. to compose neatprofessional statements. No wonder thefeedback I got from my Hoffman Process

group members was that I looked hard-working, shy, and joyless. I’d been in anemotional straitjacket.Ouch!

After writing letters to our dads, thegroup gathered to express and release pent

up emotions, along with the unwantedpatterns that accompanied them. We werearmed with bats and pillows, which aresometimes used in Gestalt psychology 

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Every day of the 

experience is

intense and

action-packed,

a sort of  psycho-spiritual 

Outward Bound 

where you

surmount your

most outsized 

obstacles.

For more information on the Hoffman Quadrinity Process contact (800) 506-5253 or visit

www.hoffmaninstitute.org. The Hoffman Process by Tim Laurence (Bantam,2005) and Journey Into Love:

10 Steps to Wholeness by Kani Comstock and Marisa Thame (Willow Press,2 000) are two books that

contain in-depth information about this process and its underlying philosophy. An intense experience,th

Hoffman Process is best undertaken by those with the time,ability,and support to integrate the change

into their lives after the experience is complete.Please consult your therapist or health care practitioner

if you’re uncertain of whether it’s right for you.