Project Sunshine Final Report - Andrea M. Winn · Project Sunshine is a one-year project that was...

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ProjectSunshine:FinalReportAFirebirdYearInitiativeToBringLightAndHealing

ToSexualizedViolenceEmbeddedWithinTheShambhalaCommunity

February27,2017–February15,2018

RespectfullyofferedbyAndreaM.Winn,MEd,MCS

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ContentsWelcome...................................................................................................................................................4

DevelopingAContemplativeSpiritualFramework..................................................................4

AnInvitationForHowToReadTheReport.................................................................................5

KitchenTableDiscussions.................................................................................................................6

WhatisProjectSunshine?..................................................................................................................6WhyIStartedProjectSunshine.................................................................................................................7Vision..................................................................................................................................................................8Mission...............................................................................................................................................................8Values..................................................................................................................................................................8Goals....................................................................................................................................................................9ProjectSunshinehadfivephasesoverthetimespanofoneyear.................................................91.Buildemotionalsafety,skillsandresiliency..................................................................................................92.Documentabusestories......................................................................................................................................103.Formastrongactivistgroup.............................................................................................................................104.Envisionthechangewewant............................................................................................................................115.LaunchaShambhalaabuse-awarenesscampaignin2018..................................................................11

StatementsFromCommunityLeaders.......................................................................................11SangyumAgnessAu.....................................................................................................................................11AcharyaJudithSimmer-Brown...............................................................................................................12CommunityElder,JudyLief......................................................................................................................12MinisterAdamLobel–statementnotsubmitted..............................................................................14MinisterJaneArthur–statementnotsubmitted..............................................................................14

AnonymousStoriesandImpactStatementsfromSurvivors..............................................14Story&ImpactStatement#1...................................................................................................................14Story&ImpactStatement#2...................................................................................................................15Story&ImpactStatement#3...................................................................................................................16Story&ImpactStatement#4...................................................................................................................17Story&ImpactStatement#5...................................................................................................................18

ReflectiveLearningFromProjectSunshine..............................................................................19Generalreflections......................................................................................................................................19RaisingquestionsabouttheConductandCareProcess.................................................................22Attendingtothosewhohavebeenabused..........................................................................................23Attendingtotheperpetrators.................................................................................................................24

NextSteps.............................................................................................................................................26Theimportanceofgoodself-care...........................................................................................................26Explorewaystotalkwithothersaboutyourthoughtsandexperience...................................27Identifytheneedsofvariousgroupsconnectedwiththisissue..................................................27NextstepsforProjectSunshine..............................................................................................................28

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Let'stalk–Newbuds&beginnings:AforumtodiscussProjectSunshine...............................28

ConcludingWishes............................................................................................................................29

Appendix1:HORIZONANALYSIS:MethodofReflectiononReadings..............................30

Appendix2:ExampleHorizonAnalysisofDzongsarKhentseRinpoche'sessayregardingSogyalRinpoche'scommunity..................................................................................31

Appendix3:ImpactOfViolationOnMembers*.......................................................................35

Appendix4:ImpactOfViolationOnCommunities*...............................................................36

Appendix5:ProjectSunshineShambhalaAbuseAwarenessCampaign........................37

Appendix6:Abuse-FreeShambhalaVisionSessionProposal............................................38

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Welcome

Welcometothispioneeringjourneyofchartinganewland:alandwherewehopetounitetheenlightenedwisdomofShambhalavisionwithaprocessofcompassionateandveryhumanhealing.ForShambhalatoflourish,wemusthealtheintergenerationaltraumaofsexualizedviolencethatisactivewithintheShambhalacommunity.

Theaimofthisreportistoraiseourcommunitylungtatotakeonthefrighteningshadowofsexualizedviolencelyingacrosstheheartofourcommunity.Ultimately,theaimofthisworkistoinspirehealingthroughouttheShambhalacommunity,inafullyembodied,fullyengaged,comprehensiveandcollaborativeway.

ProjectSunshinebeganwithaclearmandateofbringingabusedwomenleaderstogethertohealandthenformanactivistgroup.Whenthismandatefailed,IturnedtoprogressiveShambhalaleaderstofulfilltheoriginalmandateofgatheringleaders,creatingavision,andtakingactiononsexualizedviolencewithinthecommunity.Afterseveralproductivemeetings,theseleadingedgeleaderswerenotpreparedtomoveforwardwithcreatingavisionofanabuse-freeShambhala.Intheend,agroupofcaringpeopleformedtogetherorganicallywithintheheatedtimeofthepastfewweeks.Thisgroupwillhelpfacilitateanon-linedialogaboutthisreportforaperiodofthreeweeks.

Throughthecourseofthisprojecttherehasbeenawealthoflearninggained.Inaddition,relatedconversationshavesprungupduringthespanofthisprojectaroundtheviolenceandtraumainSogyalRinpoche'scommunityandthe#MeTooupwelling.Thisreportwillshare(1)anoverviewoftheproject,(2)reflectivelearningfromProjectSunshine,and(3)recommendationsandpossiblenextsteps.

Developing A Contemplative Spiritual Framework

Irecognizedearlyonintheprojectthenecessityforacontemplativeapproachtodealingwiththissocietalproblem.Throughdialogwithmyfriendandspiritualcompanion,GraceBrubaker,wedevelopedwhatwecalla“contemplativespiritualframework”fortheworkofProjectSunshine.

Thisframeworkisastanceoranapproach.Theanalogieswecameupwithforthisapproachweremid-wifeandgardener.Amid-wifehastheroleoffacilitatingahealthybirth.Shedoesn’tdothebirthherself.Instead,herfocusisonpreparingherselfineverywaytobeasfaithfulandasconnectedwiththedivinetofacilitatethebirth.Themid-wifedoesnotgetattachedtotheoutcome,becauseitisbeyondhercontrol.Similarly,agardenerplantsandtendsthegarden.Theactualgrowthisamystery.

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Thisapproachisfreeing.Itfreesusbecausethereisnoultimateresponsibility.Wearenot“gods”whocancontrol.Instead,wecanseektobeinsyncwithandresponsivetothegoodnessthatisbeingborn,initsownwayandinitsownrighttiming.

Operatinginthiswayprovidesaframeworkandinfluenceshowwethink,howweact,andhowwearetogether.Manyofushavetakensamaya,andthisisaseriousanddeepvowtoallofourvajrabrothersandsisters.ManyofusalsofeelatremendousloyaltyanddedicationtofulfillingTrungpaRinpoche’svision,andnowalsothevisionofSakyongMiphamRinpoche.Underlyingallofthisisadeepsenseofcommitmentthatwewishtoliveout.Partofthiscommitmentistobeconcernedaboutourcommunity.Developingacontemplativespiritualframeworkisawaytoliveintothissenseofcommitmentandexplorewhatchangesareneeded.

An Invitation For How To Read The Report

Sexualizedviolenceisascarytopic.Mostofuswillhavereactionstoanymentionofit.Thesereactionscanhappenunconsciously,aswemayshutdownandperhapseventrytoshutdownthepersontalkingaboutit.Thisisatopicthathasbeensuppressedforalongtime.

Wemusttakeamomenttoacknowledgethatthismomentintimeispowerful.Itisverypowerfulwhensurvivorsbreakthesilenceaboutabuse.Whenacommunityopensitsmindandstartstoacknowledgetheviolencethathashappened,itcanshakethecommunity'sfoundation.Whathashappenedinourcommunitytouchesonfundamentalbeliefsandheldtruthsofourcommunity.Peoplereadingthisreportmayhavereactionstowhatishere.

I’dlikeforyoutobeabletoengagereadingthisreportinawaywhereyouareconsciousofwhatreactionsarehappeninginsideofyou.ThereforeIamintroducingamethodcalled,“HorizonAnalysis”,thatIlearnedinmystudiesatRegisCollegeinToronto.ThisisaJesuitruncollege,andtheJesuitsareknownfortheirskilfulwaysforobservinginternalresponses.Theideawiththismethodisthatwhenwehaveanimmediatereactiontosomething,thisislikethetipoftheicebergthatisvisibleatthesurfaceoftheocean.However,ifwetakethetimetolookbeneaththesurface,thereisalsoalargeunconsciousresponsehappening.TheHorizonAnalysismethodgivesastructureforaccessingthelargematerialbeneaththesurfaceofourresponse,inthiscase,tosexualizedviolence.

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IstronglyencourageyoutoprintthisentirereportanddoaHorizonAnalysis.HereisthewaytheHorizonAnalysisisdone:

1. Printthetext(thisreport)2. Createanhourofquiettimewhereyouwillnotbedisturbed(Alternatively,you

maychoosetodoseveralshortsessionswhereyousimplyreadasmuchasyoufeellikereading)

3. Usetwodifferentcolouredpens,andasyoureadthroughthetext,notice(1)whenyouareattractedtosomethingyoureadand(2)whenyoufeelupsetorresistanttosomethingyouread.Underlinethosethingsthatattractyouwithonecolouredpen.Underlinethosethingsyouhaveresistancetointheothercolouredpen.

4. ThenfillintheHorizonAnalysisforminAppendix1

IamprovidinganexampleofusingtheHorizonAnalysismethodinAppendix2,whereIsharemyownHorizonAnalysisoftheessayDzongsarKhentseRinpochepublishedregardingthesituationinSogyalRinpoche’scommunity.

Kitchen Table Discussions

Afteryouhavetakenyourpersonalreflectiontimewiththisreport,itwouldbewonderfulforpeopletogatherintheirkitchensandtalkaboutthisinformallyoverteaandothertastybeverages.

Yourideasmatter.Howyoufeelmatters.Ininformalconversationslikethis,youcanshareyourideasandhearother'sideas,andsomemagiccanhappen.Thisisanorganicwayofdigestingwhatyouexperiencefromreadingthisreport,andwhoknowswhatbeautifulthingscancomeoutofthesekitchentablediscussions.Someofthemostpowerfulsocialmovementswereborninkitchensinthisway!

What is Project Sunshine?

Workonabusehasbeendoneunder"ShambhalaCareandConduct."Thisworkhas,however,notgonefarenoughsincewomenarecurrentlybeingabusedwithoutrecourse,andpastharmhasnotbeenattendedto.KnownchildabusersarefreelyactivewithintheShambhalacommunity,someareevenseniorteachers.Meanwhile,manywhohavebeenabusedhavebeenleftwithnorecoursebuttoleavethecommunitytohealandmoveforwardasbesttheycan,oftenwithdiminishedresourcesoflungtaandmoney.

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ProjectSunshineisaone-yearprojectthatwaslaunchedonShambhalaDay2017to(1)establishaworkingbodyofconcernedcitizenstoaddressthesituationofsexualandsocialabuseintheShambhalacommunity,and(2)createapromotionalcampaigntostartaproductiveconversationaboutthissituationonacommunity-widelevel.

Why I Started Project Sunshine

Istartedthisprojectoutofcompassion.SomethinghasgonetragicallywrongintheShambhalacommunity.Wehaveallowedabusewithinourcommunityfornearlyfourdecades,anditistimetotakepracticalstepstoendit.Iexperiencedprofoundabuseinthiscommunity,andIdon'twanttoseeitcontinuetohappentootherslikeme.IsawawaytohelpthroughcreatingProjectSunshinetoestablishastrongfoundationforchange.

AyearagoIcametoapointinmylifewhereIwasreadytocomeoutfromundertherockofoppressivesilenceandbringchangethathasbeenlongneededintheShambhalacommunity.Iwassexuallyabusedasachildbymultipleperpetratorsinourcommunity.WhenIwasayoungadult,Ispokeupaboutthecommunity’ssexualabuseproblemandwasdemonizedbymylocalShambhalacenter,ostracizedandforcedtoleave.Theshockingtruthisthatalmostalloftheyoungpeopleinmyagegroupweresexuallyharassedand/orsexuallyabused.Idon'tknowthestatisticsonthegenerationsofchildrenaftermine.WhatIdoknowisthatmanyofushaveleftthecommunity,andforthosewhohavestayed,theirvoiceshavebeenunheard.Beyondchildsexualabuse,womencontinuetobeabusedinrelationshipswithcommunityleadersandbytheirsanghas.

Ihavebeendoingintensivehealingforthelast15years.Afterthefirstcoupleofyearsofmyownhealing,Itrainedinwaystohelpothers.I’vecompletedanMEdCounsellingPsychologyattheUniversityofTorontospecializingintreatingrelationaltrauma,andIcompletedasix-monthcertificateindisputeresolutionatYorkUniversity.

Onethingthatiscleartomeisthatasinglewomancanbesilenced.However,agroupoforganizedconcernedcitizenswillbeacompletelydifferentballgame.Creatingsuchagroupisawaytocreatesanityforourselvesinthemidstofthiscrazysituation,andthenwecanlookathowtosharethatsanitywithothers.

Throughmyworkasatherapist,amediator,andasaHeroicLeadershipCoach,Ihaveleadthis1-yearinitiative.IputanumberofsupportsinplacesoIcouldserveasasteadyleaderforProjectSunshine.PerhapsthemostimportantofthesewasregularlymeetingwithKarlene,astrategiccounsellorattheTorontoRapeCrisisCenter.Karlenehasaccompaniedanumberofgrassrootsgroupswhosuccessfullyinfluencedtheircommunitiestoopenupdialogaboutabuse,dealeffectivelywithabusers,andmakepositivechange.Onesuch

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groupconfrontedagroupofCatholicPriests,givingKarleneexperiencewithactivistworkinareligiouscommunity.Karlenestronglysuggeststhepowerofwritingourstories,bothassurvivorsoftheabuseandasleaderswhohavewitnessedabusivesituationshappeningwithinthecommunity.Shesuggestssharingthesestorieswidelyinthecommunityasatoolforinvokingconversationandchange.

Vision

Thisone-yearvisionwastogatherapowerfulgroupofconcernedcitizenstoprotecttheintegrityoftheShambhalalineage.WewilldothisthroughinfluencingtheShambhalacommunitytoacknowledgeandrepairpastabuseofwomenandchildreninthecommunity,andintegratenewvaluesthathonourtenderness,vulnerabilityandotherstrengthstypicallyassociatedwiththefeminine.

Mission

ToaccomplishthisvisionIworkedtoorganizeapowerfulactivistgroupengaginga5-stageprocess:(1)Buildemotionalsafety,skillsandresiliency;(2)Documentabusestories;(3)Formastrongactivistgroup;(4)Envisionthechangewewant;and(5)LaunchaShambhalaabuse-awarenesscampaignin2018.

Values

ThevaluesIworkedtoinspirebothinmyselfandthosewhoengagedtheprojectwere:

• WearefiercelyloyaltothevisionoftheShambhalaTeachings• WelooktotheGreatEasternSuntoleadus• Weworktocreatesafetyandstabilityinourownmindsandincommunitythrough

practicingShamathadaily• Wefearlesslyandcompassionatelyacknowledgetheimpactofviolation**(See

appendicesonimpact)• WepracticeboundariesasdefinedbyDr.DavidGruder:"AboundaryisanylimitI

needtohonourinordertoloveorworkwithyouwithoutresentmentandwithintegrity.Aboundaryisnotalinedrawninthesand,aposition,posture,ideology,ultimatumorothertoolformanipulationorcontrol."

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• Weworkwithourownprojectionsandactpowerfullyfromthewisdomofourdeepself-knowing:Inmomentsofrage,wetakeasacredpausetohavemercyforourselfandunpackwhathashappenedbeforeacting.

• Wehavedecidedtoreclaimthepowerofourheartandvoiceforourownbenefitandthebenefitofallsentientbeings.

Goals

1. CreateawiseandempoweredShambhalaright-relationsactivistgroup2. Createthespacetohaveemotionallysafeandcleardialogsaboutabusethathas

beensufferedinourcommunity3. Collectimpactstoriesfrompeoplewhohaveexperiencedabuseandfromleaders

whohavewitnessedabusivesituationsintheShambhalacommunity4. Createapromotioncampaigntolaunchin2018sothatShambhalacitizensacross

theglobeareabletohearthetruthofwhathashappenedtowomen,childrenandothervulnerablepeople,andparticipateincreatinghealthyrelationalchangesinthecommunity

Project Sunshine had five phases over the time span of one year

1.Buildemotionalsafety,skillsandresiliency

Wearebuildingskillsfordealingwithtriggers,processingexperienceswithagreatersenseofinnersafety,andgrowingadeeperunderstandingofourboundaries.Weareworkingspecificallytodealwithfearsaroundmakingthesecommunitychangesbycontemplatingthefollowing:

• Seeyourpersonalresilience:(1)Youknowyourneeds,(2)Youareresponsivetoyourownneeds,(3)Knowyouwilltakecareofyourselfnomatterwhathappens

• Thinkstrategicallyaboutsystemsthatprotectabusers:(1)Attackingpeoplewhospeakupperpetuatessystemicabuseofwomenandchildren,(2)Knowattimespeoplewillattackyou,(3)Sinceyouknowitiscoming,youcanbestronginyourself,knowwhatyouneedandwant,andknowthatultimatelynotmuchharmcanbedonetoyoubecauseyouwilltakecareofyourself

• Workingwithprojections:Createastrongsenseofself-awarenesstobeabletoidentifywhenyouareprojectingandwhenothersareprojectingonyou.

• Understandingthenatureofdoingdisruptivework:Thisactivismisaboutshiftingacommunity'smindsettowardrightrelationshiparoundsexualrelationsand

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emotionalboundaries.Attackswillcome,soakeyskillistodevelopspacetoanticipatetheunknownandtheabilitytoknowhowtotendyourselfinthemidstofdoingdisruptivework.

• Understandingthenatureof"Lateralviolence"or"microaggressions"amongtheactivistgroup:Differencescanleadusastrayandpullusapart.Wecansuddenlyfindourselveshavingareallyawfulmomenttogether.Wecanremindourselvesthatwearenotenemies.Wehavehadaweirdmomentthatfelthurtful,butitisyettobedeterminedifitwasdestructive.Itiswisetotakeapause,rememberourgoals,andhavedialogtocometogreaterclarity.

2.Documentabusestories

Weoriginallyaimedtocollectfouranonymousone-pagestoriesfrompeoplewhoexperiencedabuseintheShambhalacommunity.WewantedtopublishthesestoriesintwomajorShambhalapublicationsin2018toraiseawarenessandgettheconversationtowardschangegoing.Sincethestoriesareanonymous,therewillbenobackandforthbetweenthesurvivors,perpetratorsandthecommunity;ifnameswereused,thiscouldturnintocombativerelationships.Alsobynotusingnames,theauthorsandthepublishersarenotatriskforbeingsued.ThetoolIcreatedforthisisavailableinAppendix5ofthisreport.

Weareinterestedinprovidingacontextinwhichthesestorieswillbereceivedinaproductive,ratherthanreactive,way.Therefore,wearealsocollectingstatementsfromShambhalaleaderswhocanhelptoframeouractivisminaworkableandcommittedmanner.Thiswillinstilgreaterconfidenceincommunitymemberstoreceiveandreflectconstructivelyuponthestories.

3.Formastrongactivistgroup

Thisisnotonesingleperson'sproblem.Thisisaseriouscommunity-wideproblemthatwillcontinuetosuckthelungtafromourcommunityuntilitisaddressed.Therearepeoplewhohaveinsight,skillandpassionwhoknowintheirheartthattheymustcomeforwardandcontributetheirpartinthis.AndreaWinnaroseastheinitialinstigator,andothersarenowexploringtheirroleinbeingpartofthemovementtoendsexualizedviolencewithinShambhala,whichincludeshealingwhathashappenedinthepast.

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4.Envisionthechangewewant

WearedevelopingacontemplativespiritualframeworkforcreatingcommunitychangethatisinalignmentwithShambhalavalues.InthefuturewewouldliketoengagefunactivitiestoenvisionaShambhalacommunitythatdealseffectivelywithabuse,andevenaShambhalacommunityfreeofabuse!Whatcouldthatlooklike?ThesessionIdesignedforthisissharedinAppendix6.

5.LaunchaShambhalaabuse-awarenesscampaignin2018

Wewouldliketoreachouttoacoupleofcommunity-wideShambhalapublicationstoorganizea4-monthseriestopublishthedocumentedabusestoriesandaccompanyingpiecesfromShambhalaleaders.We'dliketoplanthisinawaythatfostersemotionalsafetyforcommunitymemberstoengageandpersonallyreflect.Wealsowanttoprovideplacesformemberstoengageindialogwhentheyareready,suchasamoderatedsocialmediadiscussionforum.

TheworkofProjectSunshinehasbecomeknownworld-wideatthispoint.Thisfinalreportisservingasthecommunity-widepublication.

Statements From Community Leaders

Sangyum Agness Au

TotheGoodnessinAll-

Notunliketheprevious,generalignoranceabouttheeffectsofclimatechangeontheplanet,andtheslowawakening,awarenessandactivisminthatarea,there’scurrentlyasimilarseeingandawakeningtotheincidencesofsexualabuseandimproprietywithinthegeneralsociety,includingmisbehaviorsinourShambhalacommunity’spast,uptothepresentday.Asanoblesangha,wemustn’twaitfortheeffectsof‘flashfloods’,‘uncontrollablefires’,and‘sinkingislands’atourshores,beforeturningourwisemindsandbigheartstoaddressthesufferingathand.

Althoughanumberofindividualsandentitieswithinthecommunity,inthepastandcontinuingtothepresent,aretryinghardtolistenandbeopentomisbehaviorsandabusewithinourranks,therealityisthatthekarmicandsocietalbehaviorsthatweindividuallybroughtwithusonthepath,aredeeplyingrainedanddifficulttodissolve.Ourongoingexperimentincreatingakindandsanesocietyhasalsomanifesteditsshareofconfusionandsuffering,whichcontinues,inperhapslessobviousways,tothisday.

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Atthesametime,thereisavasttreasuryofprofound,rich,andauthenticwisdomandskillfulmeansinourlineagesandteachings,andagenuinecommunitythathasalsomanifestedmuchbenefitandsanityintheworld.

However,ourcourageousandheartinfusedworktobringbenefitisfarfromover.Avitalexplorationtounderstand,educateandbringchangetoourcommunity’signorance,unwittingsupportorcomplicityofabuseofanytype,fromanytime,isessential.Thisincludesasafe,respectfulandsupportiveprocess,forallinvolved-bringingopportunityfortransformation,thepossibilityofgenuinehealingandongoingpathforall.

Respectfullysubmittedinsupportofthenecessaryworktoendsexualviolence,

SangyumAgnessAu

Acharya Judith Simmer-Brown

“InkeepingwithourtreasuredShambhalavisionofcreatingenlightenedsociety,itisessentialthattheShambhalacommunityaddresstheimportanceofcreatingasafe,abuse-freeenvironmentforparticipantsinourprograms,retreats,andcommunitygatherings.IlaudthevisionaryleadershipofProjectSunshineforopeningtheconversationandinitiatingapathofhealing.Asweacknowledgetheharmexperiencedbysurvivorsofsexualabuseinourcommunityandcommittohealingindividuals,systems,andcommunities,weensurethebloomingoftendernessandkindnesssoimportantinourfoundingvision.”

---AcharyaJudithSimmer-Brown

Community Elder, Judy Lief

Iamveryimpressedwithalltheworkandheartyouhaveputintothisproject.Itisverytimely—longoverdue.AlthoughImyselfhavenotbeenabused,inmyvariousroles,Ihavebeenrepeatedlyfrustratedbythelackofresponseandevenunderstandingofthisproblemfromtheleadership.Asyousay,itisadeeplyentrenchedpatternofpower,chauvinism,anddenialthatmirrorsthepatternsofthelargersociety.IfullysupportthisworkandwillbehappytohelpinanywayIcan.Inanycase,I’dliketokeepintouchasthishealingworktakesroot.Iknowtoomanyfineyoungpeoplewhohaveleftthesanghabasedonexperiencessuchasyours,orwhohavestayedconnectedbutwiththeirvoicesunheard.

Itissogoodthatyouhavecreatedaforumforwomentoconnectandsupportoneanother.Itseemstomethattherearetwotoughissues.One,ofcourse,istheinitialbadbehaviorandits

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harmfulresultsandhowtofacilitatehealing.Thesecondistheinstitutionalavoidanceofthisshadowsideofthingsandthepatternofignoringtheseincidents,makinglightofthem,orevenretaliatingonorshuttingdownthepeoplewhospeakup.I’mprettysurethiscombinationisafamiliarpatterninthelargerworld,aswell.

Ontheindividuallevel,myconcernisnotonlytohelpwomenhealfromsuchtrauma,buttoregaintheirpowerandnotfallpreytothetrapofidentifyingasa“victim.”Beingavictimisonething,takingthatasanidentityisanother.Iseeyouasarolemodelforwomeninspeakingupandtakingaction,beingabletofeelandreleasethepain,andnotlettingyourfrustrationwiththeblindnessandindifferencecontrolyou.Personally,Ifinditissopainfulthatwomengenuinelyinterestedinthedharmaandinthepathofmeditationfeelthereisnosafeplaceforthemtostudyandpracticetogether.

Attheinstitutionallevel,weareaculture(Shambhala),withinaculture(Buddhism),withinaculture(USA),withinaculture(Tibet),allverypatriarchal.Yetinspiteofthis,personallyIamsogratefulandratherthanbeingheldbackinanyway,IonlyfeltpushedbytheVidyadharainagoodwaytocomeintomyownpotentialandconfidence.

Thereisabroadercontextthatitmightbegoodtoasksomefolkstoworkon,whichisthesourcetraditionofTibetanBuddhismanditsentrenchedpatriarchalhierarchy.IthinkthatTrungpaRinpochedidmakeabreakwiththistosomedegree,butIstillfeelitasanothershadowhangingoverthebroadercommunityandatsomelevelinfluencingthediscussionaswell.

ThispatriarchalhierarchyisveryevidentifyoutraveltoAsia.ThereisadeeppatriarchalviewinmanyAsiancultures,atalevelbeyondWesternculture.TherearealotofjoyfulwonderfulwomeninTibet.However,atthesametimewomenareviewedverypoorly,assecondclasscitizens.Womenseemtobeviewedasinferiortomenandarenotwelltreated.Theoretically,inTibetanBuddhisttexts,womenarereveredasanembodimentofprajna,butinrealitytheyarenottreatedwell.Inthevinaya,itistaughtthatthehighestrankingnunneedstodefertolowestrankingmonk.Monasticresourcesgotomonks,andveryfewgotonuns.Nunslacktheeducationalopportunitiesthatmonkshave.Thegoodnewsisthatthisischanging.TherearecurrentlymaleTibetanBuddhistteachersthataretryingtooffermoretonuns.AndthereareexceptionalTibetanwomanteacherswhoarerevered.

IntermsofProjectSunshine,it’simportantthatyouaretakingthispainandmakingsomethingpositiveoutofit,inawaythatcanchangethingsforothers.Thisisaboutdealingwithalotofemotionalenergies,andnotburyingthem,butratheritisaboutdealingwiththemandthenlettingthemgo.

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DoingthethingsyouaredoinginProjectSunshineisbringinghealing.Youarelookingbeyondyourself,engagingandnothidingfromthedifficultandpainfulsituationsthatexist,andnotsolidifyingthem.Thisisabouthelpingothers.

Itmeanstheworldtomethatyouarebraveenoughtotakesomethinglikethison.Youarehelpingmakeprogressinpeople’sunderstandingofthesekindofthings,andhopefullywecanbegintoputsomemechanismsinplacetopreventthishappeningasmuchasitdoesnow.

Minister Adam Lobel – statement not submitted

MinisterLobelwasinvitedtomakeastatementforthisreport,andhedeclined.

Minister Jane Arthur – statement not submitted

MinisterArthurwasinvitedtomakeastatementforthisreport,andshedeclined.

Anonymous Stories and Impact Statements from Survivors

Story & Impact Statement #1

IgrewupintheShambhalacommunity.Iwassexuallyabusedbyseveralmen.Thegreatestimpactcamefromone,whoIwillcallJohn.WhenIwasateenager,Ididmyfirstservingshiftwithaprimaryteacherintheteacher’sresidence.Johnwasclosewiththefamilyandlivinginthesamehouse.IhadtopassbyhisroomeverytimeIdidsomethingfortheprincipleIwasserving.Johnkeptstoppingmeathisdoortotalkwithhim.Then,onetimeheaskedmetocomeintheroomandshutthedoor.HewassittingunderthecoversofhisbedandremovedthecoversandIsawhewasnakedonthebottomhalf.Hehadmesitbyhimonthebedandtoldmetokisshispenis.Iwasyoung,agirl,andIwantedtorespecthimand“benice”.Iwasprofoundlyconfused.AfriendofmineyearslaterwasphysicallyattackedbyJohn,andfiveofusdharmabratscametomyfriendsayingwehadbeenabusedbyJohn.ThisiswhenIlearnedhischildabusewaswidespread.TherapecounsellorIwasseeingsaidthatiffiveofuscameforward,therewerelikelymanymorewhohadbeenabusedbyhimsinceitisrareforanyonetospeakaboutchildabuse.Ispokeaboutmyexperienceofchildabuseinmylocalcommunity.Theleadershipheldsecretmeetingsandsentmeathreateningemailtellingmetostopspeakingabouttheabuse.

MyexperienceofabuseintheShambhalacommunityhasimpactedmylifeoverthedecades.EveryintimaterelationshipI’vebeeninhasbeenahighintensitynightmare.I

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wanttobeclosewithsomeone,butIamterrified.It’slikeIdon’thavethegroundwithinmetobuildhealthytrust.HavingbeenbothsexuallyabusedanddemonizedbymycommunitywhenIspokeaboutit,Ihavehadnocommunityconnectionforover15years.I’veresortedtolivingveryalone.Forinstance,recentlyIhadabadpneumoniaandnearlydied.Ihadnooneinmylifetovisitmeinthehospital,exceptforoneChristianmanwhosawitashisChristiandutytovisitmetwice.It’shardtoadmitthis,butmyintenselonelinesshitsmeatnight.IstuffmyselfwithfoodandwatchTVuntillate.Iamquitesadaboutthis.Myrapecounsellorsaysthisprofoundlonelinessispartofthecost.IlovetheVidyadharaandIamdeeplycommittedtoShambhala.Atthesametime,havingbeenabusedbymanyleadersinthecommunitytearsatthefabricofmybeing.Thepsychologicalpressurehasbeenoverwhelming.Ithasbeenhardtoestablishalifeandalsohardtohaveameaningfulorsaferelationshipwithmeditation.


IwasmarriedtoanemotionallyandverballyabusivehusbandwhowasaseniorteacherintheShambhalacommunity.ItwasveryhardtofinallyrealizeIhadnochoicebuttoendthemarriage.ItriedeverywayIcouldtokeepitprivateandnotupsetthecommunityorexposemyhusband,becausethatsomehowseemedtherightthingtodo.ItbecamenecessaryformetoseekhelpfromShambhalawhenthenextScorpionSealretreatwasapproaching(year6forme),becauseIneededtodotheprogramsothatIcouldcontinueonmyspiritualpath.Iaskedforhelpfromanumberofpeople:firstmyhusbandhimself,whodeclinedtostepaside,thenthelocalcentreHealth&Wellbeingofficers,thentheDesung,thenthePresidentofShambhala,whofinallyreferredmetotheacharyas.IwasaskingtobeabletoattendtheScorpionSealretreat,andIwasaskingmyhusband,asaseniorteacher,tograciouslystaffitelsewhere,withoutblame.(Ihadprogramcreditatthisparticularcentreandcouldn’taffordtopaytuitionandtravelsomewhereelse,whilemyex-husbandwaspaidtoattendwhereverhewent.)ApersonintheOfficeofSocialWellbeingwasassignedtofacilitatethissituation.Shewantedmetoattendtheprogramwithmyhusbandpresent,andshesaidarrangementswouldbemadesoIwouldneverseemyhusbandandthattheywould'protect'mefromhim.Iknewthatitwouldbeimpossibleformetofeelsafeinsuchasmallandintensegroupretreatsetting,andImadeitclearthatIcouldnotdotheretreatinanatmospherelikethis.Shambhalaatalllevels,includingtheacharyagroup,labeledmeastheproblemwhenIcouldn’tconsenttodotheretreatwithhimwiththeir‘protection,’andtheydeclinedtoassistmeatthatpoint.Inshort,thewell-beingofmyex-husband,theperpetrator,wasgivenagreatervaluethanmine.So,addingtothetraumaIwasexperiencingfromtheyearsofabuseandupendingmylifebyleavingthemarriage,Iwasunabletocontinueonmypracticepathandstaywithmyclosestsangha

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whohadbeengoingthroughtheretreattogether.IfeltthatIwasnotbelieved,notvalued,notcaredfor,andsimplythrownawaytoallowthestatusquotocontinue.

Furthermore,thisofficialmetwithmyhusband(wewereintheprocessofadivorcethroughallofthis)andshetoldhimthatIhadfiledacomplaintagainsthim,whichwasuntrueandthreatenedtoderailourdelicatedivorcenegotiations.Ifeltdeeplybetrayedbythisofficial'sactions.

Theatmosphereresultingfromallofthiswastoxic,withallbutmyclosefriendseitherignoringtheissuewhentheysawmeoractuallyavoidingme.Thesilencefromeveryleveloftheorganizationspokevolumesaboutthe“cultureofblindness”pervadingandpoisoningthesocietalaspectofShambhala.IeventuallydecidedtoleavemyhomeandcommunityinCanada,whichwastriggeringandpainfulforme,andInowliveinthecitywhereIamoriginallyfromintheUnitedStates.NoonefromanyleveloftheShambhalahierarchyhasevercontactedmesincethentoofferanykindnessorguidanceaboutmyspiritualpathortoinquireaboutmywell-being.Afterbeingahighlycontributingmemberofthiscommunityforoverfortyyears,fulfillingrolesatvariouslevels,includingsecretarytotheSakyongatonetime,thishasbeenaprofoundlydevastatingexperiencethathasbrokenmyheartandcompletelychangedmylife.


IwasstaffingaShambhalaLevel5around15yearsago.Thevisitingteacherwasparticularlyexciting,andIwascaughtoffguardinherSaturdayeveningtalk.Shesaidpeopleintherapyjustmoanandgroan,andshesaiditseveraltimes.Shesaidityetagaininthequestionandanswerperiod,andIraisedmyhand.WhenshecalledonmeIsaid,“Ifindyourstatementsaboutpeopleintherapyinsensitive.IwassexuallyabusedthroughoutmychildhoodintheShambhalacommunity,asweremostofthechildren,andIgotalotfromtherapythattheShambhalateachingsneverhelpedmewith.Iwonderifthiskindofinsensitivityiswhytheadultsallowedsomuchsexualabusetohappentouskids.”Theteachersatfullyuprightasawarrior,andtherewasapregnantsilence.Thenshereplied,“Maybeyouwillteachusthatsensitivity.”

Despiteherresponse,thelocalleadershipwasterrified.Ihadbeenadedicatedleaderforyearsinthiscommunity,andthecouncilchosetomeetsecretlyaboutme.Ofnote,threeofmybestfriendsandmyMeditationInstructorwerepartofthesemeetings.Thecouncilthensentmeanemailtellingmeto:(1)stopdoinganyteaching,(2)stepdownasleaderofthesmallShambhalaLGBTsub-communityIhadstarted,and(3)stoptalkingaboutinappropriatethings.

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Overthenext6monthsImetwithtwovisitingteachers-anAcharyaandaseniorrankingKasungofficer-explainingwhatwashappeningandaskingfortheirhelp.Bothrefusedtohelp.IfeltatthatpointthatIhadnochoicebuttoleavetheShambhalacommunity.

YearslaterIbumpedintooneoftheparticipantsofthatLevel5.Hesaidhemissedseeingmearound.Isaidthattheleadershiphadgottenupsetaboutmytalkingaboutthechildhoodsexabuseproblembecauseitcouldnegativelyaffectnewerstudents.Herepliedthathisexperiencewasquitetheopposite;whenheheardustalkingopenlyandrespectfullyabouttheabuse,itheartenedhimandmadehimseeusasahealthycommunity.

Itishardtosuccinctlydescribetheimpacttheseabuseshavehadonme.Theoriginalsexualabusehasmadeitveryhardtofeelsafeinmybody.Asanadult,IfeltprofoundlybetrayedbymygoodfriendsandMeditationInstructor,peoplewhoItrusted.Ibelievedtheyfeltconnectedwithmeandloyaltomeinawaythatcouldweatheranupheaval.Istoppedtrustingpeoplethroughthisandhavesociallyisolatedmyselfforover15years.AlthoughIamintenselylonely,IseemunabletoformintimateconnectionsbecauseIamterrifiedofexperiencingabetrayallikethisagain.Evenwithnosangha,IamadiehardpractitionerandhavecontinuedmyVajrayoginiandwermapracticesonmyownalltheseyears.I’vebeenlimpingalongatasnail’space,lackingthevibrancythatcomesfromparticipatinginprograms,havinganMI,andbeingpartofasangha.Inside,Ifeellikeaverylong,coldwinterwithnohopeofthewarmthofthespring.


Iamagenderqueerperson,whousesthepronouns“they”and“he”;Iwassocializedasamale.I'masurvivorofclergyvictimizationfrommyexperiencesintheCatholicChurchwhereIwasgroomedandrapedasayoungteenby2differentpriestsoveraperiodofyears.Afteryearsofrecoveryandtherapy,IenteredShambhalaasanadultthinkingthatwasall“behindme”.IbecameadedicatedScorpionSealpractitioner.IhadheardstoriesaboutsexualmisconductinShambhala.Ihadheardthataseniorteacherhadrapedmen.Ifeltconcerned.ForoveradecadeIexperiencedafewincidencesofsexualviolencefrombothmenandwomeninShambhala.Thegreatestimpactcamefromamalesanghamemberwhosexuallyviolatedmeonretreatsandtrainings.Heexposedhisentirenakedbodytomeandaskedme“Doyoulikewhatyousee”hetoldmethatIwouldhavetousehis“dick”tounlockthecommunitycomputer,Hewouldmakeregularreferencestohis“balls”and“ass”,andmadehomophobiccommentstomebycallingmea“Sissy”.Hehadapatternofactingoutonretreatsandtrainings.Complaintshadbeenmadeagainsthim.Ihadevenmentionedhisbehaviorstomytherapist,whowasasanghamember,butnothing

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seemedtochangeanditallgotreallyconfusing.IeventuallywrotealettertothecommunityleadersthatincludedanAcharya,ShastrisandKasung.Theaccusedwasfinallysuspendedfromleadership.Hetriedtojustifyanddefendhisbehaviors.HewasthenimmediatelyallowedtobeaKasungatChildren’sDay,andIrealizedIneededsupportoutsidethecommunity.Iobtainedanoutsidesexualassaultadvocateandnon-sangha-therapisttosupportmeintheprocess.Ispoketoalawyerwhowantedto“suethesocksoff"ofKarunaTrainingandShambhala.Iwasnotinterestedinpursuingalawsuit.Thecommunityleadershipseemedconfusedonhowtoaddresstheissueskillfully.Theyputtogetherapaneltoworkwiththeaccused.IfeltconcernedaboutaspiritualorganizationlikeShambhalatryingtoassessandtreatsomeonewithissuesofsexualpathology.Itseemedoutsidethescopeofourlocalcentertodothis.Ithinktheaccusedneededaprofessionalpsychosexualevaluationandoutsidetreatmentprogram.Myoutsideadvocatehelpedmeinobtainingatemporarysexualassaultprotectionorderandfilingapolicereport.

Theimpacthasbeenpainfulonmanydifferentlevels.IhaveexperiencedareoccurrenceofPTSDsymptomsfrompastabuse.Ihavewantedtoleavethesangha.Eventhoughhedidnottouchme,hisassaultsfeltlikearape.Ihaveexperiencedanxiety,mistrustofsangha,fear,guiltandisolation.Duetothestressofspeakingoutaboutthesexualviolence,Igotinabikewreckandbrokemyarm.Thetreatmentisexpensive.Ihavefeltoverwhelmedattimesandalsoenragedatthedenialofcertaincommunitymembers.Ialsohavefeltsupportedbysomeofthesanghaandempoweredbymyoutsideadvocate,andnewtherapist.


WhathappenedtomeisthatIwassexuallyassaultedduringagatheringatthehomeofafriendandfellowsanghamember,whoIwillcallMary.Forreason(s)neverrevealedtomesherefusedtogivemethenameofthemanwhoassaultedme.ShealsoindicatedthatperhapsIwasfabricatingbeingassaulted.MaryisaMeditationInstructor,Kasung,ProgrammeCoordinator,andgivesoutinformationregardingendoflifeplanningatmylocalShambhalaCentre.

Imadeanumberofattemptstoobtainthenameofthemanwhoassaultedme.AfteramediationsessionwiththelocalDesung,Marythreatenedmethatifshegavemetheman’snameandIwenttothepolice,sheandIwouldlikelynolongerbefriends.

EventuallyIwenttothepolicewithouttheidentityofthemanandmadeastatement.OnlyafterMarywasquestionedandthemanchargeddidIlearnhisidentity.AftertheinhumanewayMaryhastreatedme,Iendedourfriendship.

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CareandConducthavesaidthattherewasnodisciplinaryactiontheywouldtaketowardMarysinceshewasnotinanofficialShambhalarole(Ataneventoratthecentre)duringtheassault,orwhenshedeniedmethenameandindicatedthatIwaslyingaboutthesexualassault.Myhusbandhasbeenagreatsupporttomethroughthisordeal,andpointsoutthatweareinourShambhalarole100%ofthetime.IdowonderwhatwillhappenifsomeoneelserevealstoMarytheywereassaulted.AsarepresentativeforShambhala,howwillshetreatthem?

NowIseekanapologyfromMaryfornottellingmethenameofthemanwhosexuallyassaultedme,andforindicatingIwaslyingaboutbeingassaulted(letalonehercomment,ifIwastogotothepoliceshewouldendourfriendship).IspokewiththeRegionalCommanderinHalifaxtodaybyphone.HesaidMaryfeelsshehasnothingtoapologizefor.

Presently,IdonotfeelcomfortabletoattendprogrammesandpractisesessionsattheHalifaxCentre.IwonderaboutcontinuingmyroleasaKasung/Shabchi.Ihaveinthepastattendedprogrammes,butwhenMaryisattendingorcoordinating,ittakestoolargeofatollonmebeingfakeandpretendingeverythingisOK.Ifeelheartbroken.

Reflective Learning From Project Sunshine

General reflections

MyfirstreflectionisonwhathappenedwhenIreachedouttowomenleadersinthebeginningoftheproject.SixofthemcametobepartofaprivatediscussionforumtoexplorequestionsaboutProjectSunshine.Oncetheybecamemembers,theydidnotengage–theysimplywatched.Acoupleofmonthsintotheproject,whenIbegantoapproachandmeetwithAcharyas,halfofthewomenleftthegroup.

WhatIhavelearnedisthereisabreakdownintrustbetweenabusedwomenandtheShambhalaleadership.Thisisanareathatneedsattention,andIwouldsuggestShambhalaleaderscouldbenefitfromtrauma-informededucationsotheycantaketheirseatmoreconfidentlyasleadersaroundissuesofsexualizedviolence.

Secondly,itisvery,veryhardforabusedwomentorousetheenergytoengage.Iknowthisfrommyownexperienceofmanyyearsoffeelingcompletelybeatendownwithnosenseofhope.Someofthewomentoldmethattheyfoundmysocialactivismterrifying–theyweresincerelyafraidformysafetyinengagingtheShambhalaleadership.

WhenImetwiththeShambhalaleaders,mostexpresseddenialoftheproblem.Atfirsttheywouldtellmethatthisproblemwastakencareofyearsago.Ihadtobepersistentinstatingthatwomenarestillbeingabusedandwomenarestillbeingforcedtoleavethe

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community.TheseleaderswereopentomypersistenceandbegantoacknowledgethereisaproblemandinfactstartingtellingmeaboutnewcasesofabusethatIwasunawareof.

AlloftheleadersImetwithweregenerouswiththeirtimeandattentiontothisimportantwork.Iwouldliketohighlightthecontributionofoneoftheseleaders,AcharyaAdamLobel,ashemadeworkonProjectSunshineapriority,specificallyseekingoutusefulconnectionsforintegratingtheworkofProjectSunshinewithexistingShambhalainitiatives.

AnotherreflectiononworkingwiththeShambhalaleadersistheirreluctancetodedicateresourcetothisissueandtheirreluctancetotakethestepofenvisioningwhatShambhalacouldlooklikeasacommunitythatdealswellwithabuse.ThroughmyworkIhavefoundthatcreatingavisionforwhereyouwanttogoiskeytocreatinginspiredchange.IdesignedasimplevisionsessionandproposedittotheShambhalaleaderswhowereengagedwithProjectSunshine.Theirresponseswere,"Thisisnotapriorityforme","Thereisnojuicehereforme",and"Iamnotinterested".Oneleadersaidshewouldbewillingtodothevisionsessionifithappenedatatimethatwasconvenientforher.Ofnote,towardsthecompletionofProjectSunshine,IwastoldthattheleadersofShambhala,includingtheSakyong,nowseethisworkasapriorityforthecommunity.

DespitetheinabilitytomoveforwardwithboththeabusedwomenleadersandtheShambhalaleaders,ImusthighlightthecourageandgoodwillIexperiencedfrombothgroups.Althoughthewomenwouldnotengagewithme,theymadeapointofencouragingmeinthisimportantwork.AlthoughtheShambhalaleaderswerenotreadytoactonshiftingthepatternofviolenceinShambhala,theymadeitclearthattheycareandtheywantthishealingtohappen,theyjustdon'tknowhowtoengage.

ThereisfearintheheartsofeveryonewhoItalkedwith,andthisiseasilyexpected.Sexualviolenceisfrightening.Itispowerful.Ithasagreatimpactonthelivesofthosewhoareabusedandeveryonewhoistouchedbytheincidentofabuse.

InmydiscussionswithShambhalaleaderstherewasalsoadesireexpressedforfindingawayofworkingwiththeperpetratorsthatencouragestheirdevelopmentontheirpath.Wedonotseethesolutionbeingtolockthemupinprison.Thereareexistingcommunity-basedprocesses,suchasrestorativejusticeprocessesthatcaninvolveeveryonewhoistouchedbyaviolation,andasacommunity,findawayfortheperpetratortomakerightwhatheorshehasdone.Ideallythesearewell-facilitated,organicprocessesthatwecouldmodifytoincludevaluesintrinsictotheShambhalacommunity.

Afurtherreflectionisthetimingofthisprojectandeventsthathappenedoutsidethecommunitythatrelatetoviolence.First,thesituationwithSogyalRinpocheandhisextremeabuseofhisstudentscameintothelight,andhesteppeddownastheleaderofhis

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community.ThissituationspurredmuchdialogandanalysisofwhatishappeninginTibetanBuddhistcommunitiesintheWest.Ireadasomewhatconcerningessay1fromawell-respectedteacher,andIcanseethatheisstrugglingtoprovideleadershiptotheworld-wideTibetanBuddhistcommunity.Itismyhopethatleaderslikehimwillseethatnoonepersonhasthesolutionoranswertothisproblem.Thisisasituationwhereweneedtointelligentlybringpeopletogether,includingwomenofwisdom,todiscerntheappropriatewayforwardinplantingTibetanBuddhismmorestronglyintheWest.

Thenthe#MeToomovementsprangup,wherewomenarespeakingoutandnamingmenwhohaveabusedthem.Therehasbeengreatsupportforthisempowermentofwomen,someofwhomremainedsilentfordecadesabouttheabusetheysuffered.

Asmyfinalgeneralreflection,Imyselfwentthroughtheinitialphasesoftheproject.Ithrewmyselfintobuildingemotionalsafety,skillandresiliencyfordoingthiswork.IlearnedagreatdealaboutstrategiesfromKarlene,theRapeCrisisCentercounsellor,andImetwithmyfriend,Grace,everyweekinasupportcallthatallowedforadeeplyreflectiveandcompassionateconnectionfordevelopinginsightandunderstandingthrougheachstepoftheproject.Bydoingthisworkmyself,Ifeelsomefoundationforotherstodothesamehasbeenestablished.

1https://www.buddhistdoor.net/news/dzongsar-khyentse-rinpoche-issues-public-statement-on-recent-criticism-of-sogyal-rinpoche(note,youwillhavetocopyandpastethislinktomakeitworkinyourbrowser)

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Raising questions about the Conduct and Care Process

Inmyconversationswithpeopleoverthepastyear,IlearnedofmanysituationsofConductandCareProcessesthatresultedinfurtherharmdonebytheprocessitself.Ratherthanresolvingconflict,thosefacilitatingtheprocesscreatedgreaterharm.Ihavenodoubtthattheyhadthebestofintentions.However,weneedtolookmoredeeplyintowhatisworkinginthisprocessandwhatisnot,andmakechanges.

IwasaskedtoreviewtheprocesswhenitwasfirstbeingcreatedbyRichardReoch(thenPresidentofShambhala)andSimoneLeHaye(thenDesungGeneral).Infact,theoriginalprocesshadmynameandthenameofamanwhosexuallyabusedmeusedthroughouttheprocess!Myresponsetothedraftsenttomewasfirst,theyshouldnotbeusingmynameinit.

Second,Isawclearproblemsintheprocess.IpleadedwithMr.LeHayetoconsulthislocalrapecrisiscenterforhelpwiththeprocess,ashewaslocatedinFranceandIunderstoodatthattimethattheFrenchfeministmovementwasstrong.HeandMr.Reochrefusedtodoanysuchoutsideconsultation.

ItiscleartomethatbothMr.ReochandMr.LeHayewerewhitemeninpositionsofpower,andIcan’thelpbutwonderifsomebiasmayhaveinadvertentlyenteredtheprocess,perhapstoprotectwhitemeninpower.IhavelearnedinthepastweekthattheCareandConductProcessisconfidentialtothepointthatmenhavegonethroughtheprocess,werefoundtohavecausedharm,andthecommunityneverknowsofthis.Thisdoesn’tfeelrighttomeanddoesnotresonatewithmysenseofjusticeorcareforcommunityharmony.

IalsounderstandthattheresultofsomeCareandConductProcesseshasledtoahandfulofmaleteachersbeingremovedfromtheirpositionandtoldtheycanneveragainteachinShambhala.ThereisabasicShambhalavaluearoundworkingwithpeopleandnevergivinguponthem.IfeelthatvaluemaynotbefullymetwithourexistingCareandConductProcessandtheoptionsavailableforaddressingharm.CanwefindtrulyresponsivewaysofstoppingtheirharmANDhelpingthem?Ifeelthatasacommunity,weMUSTexplorewaysforaddressingharmthatresonatewiththevaluesweholddearwithinShambhala.

Furthermore,giventhefailuresofourin-houseCareandConductprocess,weclearlyneedtoconsultwithorganizationsoutsideofShambhalawithexpertiseinrestorativepractices,genderedviolenceandabuse,andarefeminist.

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Attending to those who have been abused

IhavebeenpartofmanyconversationsoverthepastyearwithwomenwhohavebeenabusedintheShambhalacommunity.Thestoriesofabusearenothingshortofhorrific.Quitesimply,theviolencethathashappenedandthelackofresponsefromtheShambhalaorganizationhasresultedinaprofoundcorruptionintheheartofourcommunityoverthelifespanofthiscommunity-sincetheearly1970’s.

ThereisapatternthatIpersonallyexperienced,andmanywomenexperienced,ofbeingfiercelyloyaltothiscommunityandtakingeverystepimaginabletogetsupportfromcommunityleaders.Withthelackofresponsiveness,formanyofus,theonlysaneresponsewastomaketheheartbreakingdecisiontoleavethecommunity.Itisnotonlytheworstimaginabledecisiontohavetomake,butitisconfoundedbydeepquestionsaboutbreakingsamayaforthoseofuswhoenteredtheVajrayanapathinShambhala.

OneteacherandsurvivorofabuseinShambhalarespondedtothingsIwroteaboutsamayainthisreport,andIfeelitisimportanttobringherwordsforward,withherpermission:

Inevereverfeelthatanyofushavebrokenoursamayabyleaving,speakingup,etc.Ithinkthatisamisunderstandingthatisusedtokeeppeoplequietandafraid.I'mgladIsawthatandIamso,so,sosorryyouhavethatthought,andIhopewecaneithertalkaboutthatorjustsomehowthatyoucanletthatonedissolveintospace.Yourheartandmindaresoluminous.Samayaisn'tjustkeepingtoouterthings,orevenpractices.Theviolationiswhensomeoneabusessomeone,turnssomeoneawayfromthedharma,etc.,allthosethingsonthelist,andthesecretlevelisifyoushutdowntheloveinyourownmindandmakeitanenemy,whichobviouslyyouhaven't.Sothat'salloffthetopofmyhead,butformeit'saverysorepointthatisanotherformofabuse,tomakepeoplethinkthey'rebreakingtheirsamayaiftheyspeakout,havetoleave,etc.

Otherabusesurvivorshavechosentostayinthecommunity,andithasbeenachallengingandconfusingexperience.Thereisadeeppsychologicalchallengetostayinemotionalconnectionwithacommunityinwhichyouwereabusedandthecommunityeitherrespondedwithlackofcare,orworse,furtherabuse.Youcanreadtheimpactstatementsalittlefurtheralonginthisreport.Writingtheseinitialimpactstatementswasahugefirststepforthesepeople.Idonotbelieve,however,thattheycommunicatetheprofoundtraumathesepeoplehaveexperienced.

Insomeofthecommunitydiscussionsnowhappening,someareadvocatingforatrauma-informedhealingmodelthatintegratesShambhalavaluesandwisdom.Ibelievethisisabsolutelynecessary.

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Furthermore,somewomenhavebeensodevastatedandhavelosteverylastshredofhopethattheShambhalacommunitycouldeverbecomeahealthyplaceforthem.Forthesewomen,wewillneedtoofferaspaceforhealingthatisoutsidethecommunity.

Forthesewomentoeverreturn,thecommunityneedstobecomeanemotionallysafeplace.Thiscanbedone,butitwilltaketimeandcontinuousefforttocreatethiscommunitytaming.Thecommunitywillneedtoembracechangeandturnandfacethisdemonofabuse.Thiseffortwillbeworthit,forallofus.Itisaboutcreatingasaneandhealthycommunityforusandforthegreaterworldthatweserve.

Ofnote,Ihadnocommunicationwithanyothersecond-generationmembersofthiscommunity.Thisremainsadeeplyhiddenwound.Iwouldliketoseethiscommunityrousetheresourcetohaveadedicatedpersontoseekoutthelostgeneration,toseehowtheyare,andtoofferhealingandsupport.IamhauntedbythelineinoneofTrungpaRinpoche’ssongs,“ConfidentthatourchildrenseetheGreatEasternSun.”Ithauntsmebecausesomanyofourchildrenaresufferinginprofounddarkness.Thisisunacceptable,anditistimeforustobringhealingandlighttoourlostsecondgeneration.

Attending to the perpetrators

Whatisgoingthroughthemindofsomeonewhentheyarepreyingon,luring,sexuallyforcingthemselves,orenactingahostofotherwaysthatsexualviolenceisperpetrated?Manyofussimplywanttovilifyanddistanceourselvesfromtheperpetrators.

Tohealourcommunity,weneedtoturnandfacetheproblemandalloftheplayerswithintheproblem,includingtheperpetrators.

TherearetwoexperiencesI’vehadthatcometomindasbeginningtoopenadoortowhatitcouldlookliketoworkwithperpetrators.ThefirstiswhenIattendedthe2000KasungEncampmentatDorjeDenmaLing.DuringthisplayfulKasungtrainingprogram,someonefromoutsidetheprogramdecidedtocausesometroubleandattackedourencampmentinsomeplayfulwaythatIdonotremember.WhatIdorememberisthatthistroublemakerwasputinawirefencestockadeinthemiddleofthecamp.Hewasfedthreegoodmealsaday,andsomeonewentinandspokewithhimregularly.Myunderstandingisthattheseconversationswereabouthelpinghimworkwithhismind.

Aftertwodaysthe“prisoner”wasreleasedandhewasinvitedtojoinourprogram.WhatIwitnessedwasthemanbecamemoregroundedandpresentandwasnolongerinterestedincausingmayhemforthefunofit.Hehadlearnedaboutthetraininghappeningattheprogram,andhebecameinterestedinjoiningin.

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Ifeelthereissomethingpowerfulingivinga“timeout”,aswedowithchildren.Stoppingactivityandbeingpresentwithourmindinasimpleway.Thiscutsthroughthespeedofaggressionandcanhelpusbecomemoreconnectedwithourheart.IfeeltheexampleIwitnessedatthisEncampmentissomethingusefulforfindingourwayfordealingwithperpetratorsofabuseinourcommunity.

ThesecondexperiencethatcomestomindformearoundhowtoprovideafirmandsupportivestructurefordealingwithperpetratorsiswhenIvolunteeredforthreemonthsfortheFamilyServicesAssociationinTorontowiththeirgroupforabusivemen.Thiswasacourt-mandatedgroup;themeninthegrouphadbeenconvictedofabusingtheirpartnersandhadthechoiceofgoingtoprisonorattendingthisgroup.Themeninthegroupchosetoattendthegroupratherthangotoprison.Thisgroupmetweeklyfora2-houreveningmeeting.

IfeltparticularlyconnectedwithatallKoreanmanwhojoinedthegroupatthesametimethatIstartedvolunteering.Irememberhimleaningbackinhischair,armsfirmlycrossedacrosshischest,andwithhislegsoutstretchedandcrossedinfrontofhim.Fromthishighlydefendedposture,helookedcoolyoutatwhatwashappeninginthegroup.

Inthisgroupthetwotrainedfacilitatorsstartedconversations,andtheywereveryfirmwiththemen.Wheneveramanstartedgoingtoaplaceofdenial,thesecounsellorsweresometimesevenabrasiveincallingtheman’sdenialout.Also,menwhohadbeeninthegrouplongerwoulddothesamething,andcalloutthedenialthattheyheardintheirnewerfellowmembers.

Thesesessionswereprettyhardhitting,andatthesametime,manyofthemenwouldgoalongandshareintheexercises.Partofwhattheysharedaboutwaswhatitwaslikeforthemaschildrengrowingupintheirfamilies.Itcomesasnosurprise:eachofthesemenenduredsevereviolenceintheirhomesgrowingup.

Thegroupskippedoneweekbecausethefacilitatorswentonvacation.Whenwereturnedthefollowingweek,thattallKoreanmancametothecheckindeskinacompletelydifferentway-softer.Hesaidhehadcometheweekbefore,andthathewassodisappointedthatnooneshowedupforthegroup.Hehadforgottenthegroupwascancelled.Somethinghadobviouslybeensneakinginbehindhisdefencesthroughbeinginthisgroup,tothepointthatthroughthisexperiencehe(andallofus)discoveredthathewaslookingforwardtocomingtothegroupmeetings.

WhenIthinkaboutit,beingpartofthisgroupwasprobablythefirstexperiencethesemenhadwheretheycouldfeelclosewithothermeninanemotionallyvulnerableway.Theycouldbringwhotheyweretoaspecial,andperhapsevensacred,community.Whatatfirstseemedtobeapunishmentmayhaveturnedintothegreatestgifttheyeverreceived.

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MylasteveningwiththegroupIledasessionwiththementeachingthemhowtomirroraconversationpartner.Whatthismeantwastheywouldlistentoaconversationpartnerandsimplycommunicatewhattheyheardtheirconversationpartnersay.Theydidnotneedtohaveapersonalresponseordefendthemselves.Theironeandonlytaskwastolistentotheotherpersonandcommunicatebackwhattheyunderstoodtheotherpersonsaid.

Amanvolunteeredtodoademonstrationroundwithme,andIplayedtheroleofhisfemalepartner.Hedidnotunderstandtheexercise.Hekeptgoingtohisdefaultofdefendinghimself.SoIpatientlyremindedhimthatevenifhedisagreedwithwhatIwassaying,thatwasokay.Allthisexercisewasaboutwaslisteningandthencommunicatingbackwhatheunderstood.

Afterseveralmoretries,hefinallygotit.Thiswasawatershedmomentforhimandforthewholegroup.Thewaveofreliefandhopethatsweptthroughtheroomwaspalpable.Thesemensuddenlysawanewwayofcommunicatingwiththeirpartnersthatwaslesspainful,wasgentleandcaring,andcouldleadtomuchbetterrelationships.Aftertheyhadallgiventheexerciseatry,these“hardenedcriminals”cameuptomeattheendofthegroupsessionandhuggedmeandthankedme.

Workingwiththesemenshowedmethattheydohavesoftheartsbeneathalltheroughstuff.Italsoshowedmethekindofcompassionateforceandassertivenessthatarerequiredforworkingwithperpetrators,becausetheiroutershellissothick.

Weasacommunityneedtobegintolookathowwecancreatesupportforperpetratorstobegintodevelopsoftnessandresourcewithinthemselves.Ibelievethatoncetheyhaveafirmergroundingwithinthemselves,thentheycanparticipateinacommunityprocesstomakeamendsfortheharmtheyhavecausedtoindividualsandthecommunityfromtheirperpetrationofviolence.

Next Steps

The importance of good self-care

Onanindividuallevel,weneedtofindwaysofcenteringourselvessowecantakeastep-by-stepjourneyofpersonallycomprehendingthissituation.Pacingisimportant.Honouringourlimitsisimportant.Ifwearefeelingfloodedbyinformation,itisimportanttotakeanadequatebreakandrefreshourspirit.Also,basicselfcareisveryimportant–thingslikeeatinghealthyfood,drinkingplentyofwater,gettingexercise,sleepingwell,andtakingatleastafewminuteseverydaytoworkwithourmindthroughaformalpractice.Itcanalsobeveryhelpfultohavearegulardailyroutine.Routineisgrounding,andweneed

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tohaveourfeetfirmlyplantedonthegroundasweengagethissituationbothindividuallyandasacommunity.

Explore ways to talk with others about your thoughts and experience

Oncewehavegoodconnectionwithinourselves,thenweneedtofindwaysofengagingeachotherinconversationsabouthowtodealwiththepervasivedynamicofabusewithintheShambhalacommunity.Pleasetalkwithyourneighborsandfriends.Andpleasejoinusforanonlinediscussion,asdescribedbelow.

Identify the needs of various groups connected with this issue

WeneedtoexplorehowtosupportthegreaterresilienceandconfidenceofourShambhalaleaders.Itisimportantthattheyhavethesupportsneededastheystepmorefullyintotheirroleofprovidingleadership,collaborationandsupportforthisprocess.

Weneedtosupporttheworkofthesanghaabusesurvivors.Thesurvivorsneedtobeheard.Forthosewhohavebeenforcedtoleavethecommunity,whenandiftheywantapathwaybackintoarespectingrelationshipwithinthesangha,thenweneedtofindwaystofacilitateaprocessforthis.

AndwhataboutthechildrenofShambhala?Inmyviewitisunacceptablethatsomanyofthesecondgenerationofthiscommunityhavebeenforcedtoleavethecommunityduetobeingabused,scapegoatedandshamed.Thishappenedtome,andithashappenedtounknownnumbersofotheryoungpeople.Weneedtosetupadiscoveryprocesstofindthelostchildrenofthiscommunityandtendtotheirneedsforhealingandreconnection.

Weneedtostopprotectingtheabusers,andinsteadempowerthemtostepintoreconciliationprocesseswheretheycanmakerightfulamendsfortheirabuses.OneseniorShambhalateachersuggestedthatsinceithasbeenmanyyearssinceoneoftheprimarychildmolesterswasactivethatweshouldjustmoveon.Thisteacherdoesnotunderstandthattheharmstilllives:inthoseheabused,thosewhowereimpactedbyhisabuse,andhehimselfcannotactinfullintegrityasaShambhalaleadercarryingtheburdenofunreconciledharmhehasdonewithinourcommunity.Thingsdonotmagicallydisappearovertime.Andabusescontinuetohappentothispresentday.Whatiscalledforisforustodigindeeper,createresource,embodythislineageofconfidence,andcleanupthesesituationsfortheoverallhealthandwell-beingofourcommunity.

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Oppressionthroughsexualviolencehasclearrelationshipswithotherformsofoppression,suchasracism,homophobia,transphobia,etc.DialogneedstohappenaroundtheintersectionofallformsofsocialviolencehappeningwithintheShambhalacommunity.

Next steps for Project Sunshine

ItistimetobringthelightoftheGreatEasternSuntoawidespreadsocietalproblemthatexistsalsowithinourcommunity.Itisamatterofdecidingtomakeadifferenceandthentakingonesmallstepafteranother.ThatiswhatIhavedonewithProjectSunshine,andithashadmeasurablesuccessinjustoneyear.Thisprojectshowsthatitispossibletoinvestigate,becurious,dialog,formallianceswiththosewhowereabusedandwithShambhalaleaders,andcreateinroadstowardspeace.Genuinepeace.Peacethatcomeswithpainandsteppingthroughfearstocreateaspaceofgreaterandgreaterintegrity.

Itookthis1-yearprojectonasonelonepersonwhocaresaboutthehealthoftheShambhalacommunity.ItwasmoreworkthanIevercouldhaveimagined!Thishasbeendonewithmyfullheart,andIamgratefulthatIgavemyselfthisgift,andthatitwillhopefullybereceivedasagifttothecommunity.

Myvolunteerpositionradicallyscalesdowntoday.Iwillcontinuegiving5hoursoftimeaweektofollowupsfromtheproject,includingfieldingquestionsandcontributingtothediscussionintheFacebookforumthatwillbeofferedsoon.Ifthecommunitygathersenergytotakefurtheractionneedingaprojectmanager,wewillneedtoraisefundsforthat.Butfornow,let'sjusttalk!

Let's talk – New buds & beginnings: A forum to discuss Project Sunshine

Themostimportantnextstepsaretoseewhohastheabilitytostepintothisconversationabouthealingsexualizedviolence,andhasthestayingpowertostaywiththatconversation.SofarIhaveseenalotofpeoplediptheirtoeinandthendropbackintoaplaceofdenialand/orparalysis,orworseyet,condemningthisworkandtryingtosilenceit.Thisiscertainlyanareathatcanberemediedpartiallybytakingbettercareofourselves(pleaseseethesectiononself-care).

Ifyouareinterestedinsomeoftheideasandapproachesdiscussedinthisreportandwanttobepartofthesolution,pleasejoinusinamoderatedsocialmediadiscussionforum.

First,werespectfullyaskyoutotakeoneweekforpersonalreflection,andwehopeyouwillgivetheHorizonAnalysismethodatry.Thenbringwhatyoulearnedfromyour

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HorizonAnalysistoourmoderatedProjectSunshinediscussionforumopeningonThursdayFebruary22nd.WatchtheProjectSunshinewebpagefortheaccesslinkonFebruary22nd!

Concluding Wishes

Maythedakasanddakinisrejoice!Maythewermaanddralasrejoice!Mayhumanity'sheartbeliftedupinwaysneverbeforeexperienced!Maywetakeourseatasgenuine,caring,patientandappropriatelyimpatientmembersofthissacredcommunity.

LetusconfidentlytakestepstorootoutthisdarknessandinvokethelightoftheGreatEasternSuntodawnonanewageofauthenticpeaceandharmony!

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Appendix 1: HORIZON ANALYSIS: Method of Reflection on Readings

NAME: Date:

1.Reading(s)(byAuthor):

2.(a)Whatismystrongestattractionorattractionstothereading/s.Why?

(b)Whatmightbethesourceofmyattractions(s)tothereading/s?

3.(a)Whatismystrongestresistanceorresistancestothereading/s.Why?

(B)Whatmightbethesourceofmyresistance(s)tothereading/s?

4.HowdotheseattractionsandresistanceschallengeoraffirmmeasIengageinthisreflectionprocess?(Noticewheretheinvitationtotransformationis.)

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Appendix 2: Example Horizon Analysis of Dzongsar Khentse Rinpoche's essay regarding Sogyal Rinpoche's community

NAME:AndreaM.Winn Date:December17,2017

1. Reading(s)(byAuthor):DzongsarKyentseRinpocheIssuesPublicStatementonRecentCriticismofSogyalRinpoche

2.(a)Whatismystrongestattractionorattractionstothereading/s.Why?

1. Hisstrongrequestforpatienceandmindful/completereadingofhisessay.

2. ThestrengthandstabilityofhisunderstandingofVajrayanaBuddhism.

3. Hisseeingthissituationthroughanunderstandingofculture,partoftheproblemliesinhowTibetansareteaching.

4. HisacknowledgementofthestabilityofTrungpaRinpoche'sapproach.

(b)Whatmightbethesourceofmyattractions(s)tothereading/s?

I'mlookingforcoherenceandstabilityinworkingwiththissituation.Iwantpeopletostayembodiedandtakeonestepafteranother,withoutskippingstepsinaddressingthissituation.IdeeplyappreciatethewayTrungpaRinpochecreatedapathwithasolidfoundation,againbecauseIamlongingforstabilityformoredeeplyunderstandingdharmaandexperiences.TheculturalunderstandinghelpstounderstandthedynamicthathasgrownwithTibetanBuddhismbeingseededinthewest.UnderstandingthiscanhelpustorepairthissituationandgrowastrongerbaseforfuturepracticeofBuddhismintheWest.

3.(a)Whatismystrongestresistanceorresistancestothereading/s.Why?

Hisputtingforwardapicturethatoffersnopathforredemptionforeitherthe8whowrotetheletterorSogyalRinpoche.Hewrote,"SogyalRinpoche'smisbehavourmaybehisruinand,sadly,itmaybetheruinofsomeofhisstudents."Inmytradition,thisiscalledsettingsun.Whynotdevoteourenergytocleaningupthissituation,insteadoflabellingitashopeless,andleavingthestudentsasoutcastsandSogyalRinpochetoVajrahell?

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Hislackofunderstandingandrespectforthe8students.HislackofrespectforpeopleoftheWestbyreferringtoWesternsocietyas,"aworldthat'sfulltooverflowingwithsmart-arses".

Hewrote,"ThestudentscriticizingSogyalRinpocheseemtobehighlyintelligent.Whythen,weren'ttheysmartenoughtoexamineandanalyzethisteacherbeforesigningup?"Althoughheputsthisforwardasaquestion,heisactuallymakingastatementofjudgement,appearingtosuggestthestudentsarehighlyconfused.Itbothersmetohearhimjudgethesestudentsbecausethestudentsappeartobesane,caringandproclaimedsanitywithinaveryconfusedsituation.

"Ireallydon'tunderstandwhytheywaitedtenoreventhirtyyearsbeforesayinganything?."Heismakingastatementandputtingaquestionmarkafterit.Ifhewastrulycurious,hewouldtaketimetolearnaboutwhypeoplestaysilentforsolong.Itiscommoninmostabusesituations.Instead,heissimplyputtingthestudentsdown,andleavingtheentiresituationinaplaceofambivalence–HISambivalence.

Italwaysdisturbsmetowitnessareligiousleaderleadpeopleintoaplaceofconfusionandambivalence.

Hislackofcoherence,(1)"aVajrayanaguruwilluseanythinghecantochallengeandgoagainsteachindividualstudent'sego,pride,self-cherishinganddualisticmind."And(2)"theVajrayanamastermustknowhisstudents'limits–whattheycanandcan'ttake."Ontheonehandheseemstosuggestthemastershouldteachwithabazooka,andtheninthenextbreathhesuggestssensitivitytoguidingthestudentaccordingtotheircapacities.

Hisuseoftheword,"alleged"andsuggestingthestudentsarenottrueVajrayanapractitionersbecausetheyhavespokenoutaboutthissituation.Hewrites,"students,whoalsoconsiderthemselvestobepractitionersintheVajrayanatradition."AsaBuddhistleaderheisactingasajudge,makingjudgements,usinglegallanguage,andproclaiminghisjudgmentsworldwide.I'dprefermoresensitivityandrespect–forhimtotakehisseatasaleaderandactwithdecencyanddecorumthatsupportsastrongerandsanerapproachtosortingoutthissituation.

Whenhewrites,"Ifanimpureperception–suchascriticismofone'sguru–ismadedeliberatelyandconsciously,andifitthengoesontobecomeawell-organized,choreographedpublicdiscussionwithnoroomforamendmentorcorrection,itconstitutesatotalbreakageofsamaya."Hereheisleadingthereadertobelievethatthisrelatestothesituationofthe8students–thereaderisveryeasilyledtoassumeheisspeakingofthissituation.Howeverinthissituationthesestudentstookcareofadegradedsituation,and

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theirletterclearlyleftroomforexplanationtobemade,akaamendment.DKRismakingaveryseriousallegationregardingthestudents,whichdoesnotreflecttheactualsituation.Thisisharmfultoeveryonetouchedbythissituation.

Whenhesays,"It'sabigmistaketospeculateaboutthepossibilityofcontinuingtoanalyzeandcriticizetheguruafterhavingreceivedamajorinitiation,actuallyit'stotallywrong."HeseemstobesuggestingasVajrayanapractitionerswemuststepintoblindfaithanddisengagefromthegenuine,uninhibitedintelligencethatresideswithinus.

Whenhesays,"Wecan'tchangetheVajrayanaviewtoinventsome'moderate'versionofVajrayanaBuddhismjusttosuitthe21stcenturyWesternmind-set",itfeelstomelikeheisbringingforwardaheavyhandedfistofVajrayanaBuddhismthatwillbulldozethroughanysituation,dismissingallcontext,andmoreimportantlysuggestingskilfulmeansisnotnecessaryintherelativeworldtoreachpeopleandleadthemonthetruepathofdharma.

Hetalksincircles.Ontheonehandhecallsthestudents,"so-calledVajrayanastudents…steppedontotheVajrayanapathvoluntarily."AndinadifferentsectionheclearlystatesthathebelievestheRigpastudentswerenotadequatelypreparedorwarnedofwhattheyweregettinginto.Thisdisconnected,circularapproachissimplycrazy-making,anditisaddingtotheconfusionandupsetcausedbythissituation.

IappreciatehowheisdrawingattentiontolargerproblemsinBuddhism,howeverIfeelthatheisdrawingourattentionawayfromhealingthissituationindoingso.Heistrainingpeopletoaverttheireyestoanotherdirection,whichcreatesonemoretragicdisconnectionfromthetruesituation-itwillnotdisappearbyavertingoureyes.Theimpactsofabusewithincommunityarefar-reaching,andIfeelfromthisessaythatDKRlacksanunderstandingofthis.

(B)Whatmightbethesourceofmyresistance(s)tothereading/s?

Amaninauthoritywholacksunderstandingofhumansituationsandisimposingharshviewswithoutanyconsiderationforthecontextinwhichheisforcinghisviews.Heseemstohavenounderstandingoftheharmheiscreatingthroughpublishingthisessay.

IhavebeensilentforfourdecadesabouttheabuseIsufferedintheShambhalacommunity.ThereforeIrelatewiththestudents.Ifeelthedismissalandaccusationsthe8studentshavereceivedinthisessay–Ifeelthisverypersonally.Itisdeeplyupsettingandunacceptabletome.

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IamnolongerwillingtostaysilentaboutabusesinBuddhistcommunities.Itdoesnotserveustotakeasimplisticviewwhensomeoneisclearlybeingabusiveandputtinghugeobstaclesinthepathofsincerepractitioners.Itiswrong,anditshouldbecalledout.

ThisismoreaboutlearningthedynamicsofTibetanBuddhismenteringtheWestandhowwecanmoreskilfullycreateagoodgroundforwesternerstoreceivethispreciousdharma.Thisshouldnotbeaboutscapegoatingthe8studentsanddemonizingSogyalRinpoche.This*should*beaboutlearning,maturingandgrowingmoreseriousinourpursuitofembeddingTibetanBuddhismintheWest.

4.HowdotheseattractionsandresistanceschallengeoraffirmmeasIengageinthistheologicalreflectionprocess?

Thechallengeistomyangeraboutthethoughtlessnessofmeninpower,oftheirthrowingtheirweightaroundandharmingthevulnerable,naïveandgood.Iprayformyowntransformationandgrowth,thatImaybecomeamorematureandlovingwomanwiththeskilfulmeanstospeakinresponsetothesemen.

Iamaffirmedinthisreflectionthroughrealizinghowimportantstability,careandcoherencearetomeinmyapproachtolife,andmywishforthisinTibetanBuddhisminthewest.Ihaveamuchclearerunderstandingofhowimportantthisistomenow.

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Appendix 3: Impact Of Violation On Members*

Note:“Leader”referstoanyoneinapositionofauthority,suchasacommunityleader,teacher,meditationinstructor,etc.

IfyourrightsareviolatedbyaleaderoftheShambhalacommunity,theimpactissimilartootherkindsofabuse.Theeffectsoftheviolationwilldependonfactorssuchas:thelengthofyourrelationshipwiththeleaderandhowlongtheviolationwenton;yourdegreeofvulnerabilitywhileintherelationship;yourhistoryofabuse;andthekindsofsupportavailabletoyou.

Ifyourrightshavebeenviolated,youmayexperienceanyofthefollowing:

• generaldistrustandfearofothers(especiallyanyoneintheShambhalacommunity)• rageandangerattheleaderwhohasviolatedyou• deepsenseofbetrayalandabandonment• loss,grief,sadnessandhelplessness• selfblame,shameandguilt(“ifonlyI’dbeenasmarter,niceroraneasierperson”)• selfdoubt(“maybeI’vemisunderstoodormaybeI’mbeingtoocriticalofthe

leader”)• overwhelmedandincrisis(wantingtoharmyourself)• fearthatotherswillnotbelieveyou• depressionordeepsenseofdespair• feelingasthoughyouhavebeen“raped”,eveniftheviolationwasnotsexual• aneedtoprotecttheleaderwhohasviolatedyou• aneedtoprotectothermemberswhoareatrisk• aneedforresolutionandcompensation• confusionwhenothermembersworkingwiththesameleaderarenotviolated• confusionbecausetheleaderwasalsohelpfultoyou• feartheleadermaycauseyoufurtherharmifyouspeakout• resentmentforthelossoftimeandmoney• isolationfromthelackofresourcesandsupport• adisruptioninyourintimaterelationships• aninabilityordisruptionofcarryingoutyourdailyactivities• AdaptedfromClientRightsinPsychotherapy&Counselling:AHandbookofClient

RightsandTherapistResponsibilities

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Appendix 4: Impact Of Violation On Communities*

Thepersonalviolationofonemember,byoneleader,willaffectthelivesofmanypeople.Iftheviolationisnotaddressedonacommunitylevel,theimpactoftheviolationwill,intime,erodethegeneralsenseoftrustandsafetywithinthatcommunity.

Whenyourrightshavebeenviolated,yourcommunitymayexperienceanyofthefollowing:

• generalsenseoffearordistrustofleadersandtheShambhalaorganizationingeneral

• feelingsofdivisionandsuspicion(dividingleadersinto“theunethical”and“theethical”)

• leadersprotectingthemselvesoroneanotherinsteadoftherightsofmembers• feelingsofbetrayalandabandonmentbythosewhowitnesstheviolationandby

memberswhoarenotbelievedorareunsupported• feelingsofguiltandconfusionbycommunitymemberswhostruggletofindwaysto

supportviolatedmembers• feelingsofconfusionbycommunitymemberswhoaresearchingforwaysto

confrontandholdoffendingleadersaccountablefortheiractions• lossofsolidarityandfaithamongmembersandleaders,amongmember,andamong

leaders• thedisruptionordestructionofintimaterelationshipsbecauseofthedistressthe

violationbringstothelivesofviolatedmembers,offendingleaders,andothermembersofacommunitywhowitnesstheviolation

• frustrationbecauseofthelackofeducationandtrainingaboutethicsandmemberrights

*AdaptedfromClientRightsinPsychotherapy&Counselling:AHandbookofClientRightsandTherapistResponsibilities

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Appendix 5: Project Sunshine Shambhala Abuse Awareness Campaign

Note:Thisisthedocumentsentouttopeoplein2017.

ProjectSunshineisaone-yearprojectthatwaslaunchedonShambhalaDay2017to(1)establishaworkingbodyofconcernedcitizenstoaddressthesituationofsexualandsocialabuseintheShambhalacommunity,and(2)createapromotionalcampaigntostartaproductiveconversationaboutthissituationonacommunity-widelevel.

WeareactivelyseekingwrittensubmissionsfromsurvivorsofabusewithintheShambhalacommunitytobepartofthisabuseawarenesscampaignin2018.Asasurvivormyself,Iknowthisisabigthingtoask.Thisisaboutgettingthecommunitytogethertotalk.Wearegatheringthesestoriesbecausewewantpeopletobeemotionallyaffectedbythis.

Thegoalofthisawarenesscampaignistogetthecommunitythinkingaboutthissituationandforthemtocare.

Thisphaseoftheworkisaboutraisingawareness.Thisisnotaboutaccusinganindividual.Creatingstructuresforjusticewillfollow,andthatwillbetherighttimetonametheabusers.

Submissionsare:

• Anonymous:nonamesandnohistoricalfeaturesthatrevealidentities• 1page–250words-withtwosections:• YourStory–writtenwithloveandself-respect• Impact–howhasexperiencingthisabuseimpactedyourqualityoflife,including

senseofwell-being,relationships,finances,etc.

Youcanseetwoabusestoryexamplesinthepagesthatfollow.Iamwillingtoassistwitheditingyourstory,ifthatwillbehelpful.

KIKISOSO!

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Appendix 6: Abuse-Free Shambhala Vision Session Proposal

Thisisadesignfor4hourvisionsessionpresentedtoShambhalaleadersintheFallof2017.Theychosenottodothisvisionsession.

ThissessioncanbeheldremotelyusingZoomtodialogandaprivateFacebookgrouptopostphotosofartandwritteninsights.Openthesessioninawaythatcreatesanenvironmentofemotionalsafetyandplayfulness.

AcertifiedSoulArtfacilitatorcanleadaSoulArtvisionsession.Usingastrategicexpressiveart-basedvisionmethodproducesprofoundinsightsandvisions(seetheDRALAprogramasanexampleofthisworkwithleaders(http://heroicleadershipcoaching.com/programs/drala/,andpleaseseebelowtoseeanoverviewofwhatatypicalvisionsessionlookslike)

Aspartofthisprocess,participantshaveanopportunitytopostphotosoftheirarttotheprivateFacebookgroup,andposttheirkeyinsightsfromtheprocess

Followupsafterthevisionsessioncanincludediscussinghowthesessionwent,andhowtheresultinginsightsfromthissessioncouldbeleveragedaspartofacommunitywidecommunication.Thisinitialvisionsessioncouldpossiblyleadtothenextlevelofvisioning,perhapsasanin-personconferencelaterin2018.

WhathappensinaSoulArtvisionsession?

SoulArtisa5-stepvisioningprocess:

AcertifiedSoulArtGuidefacilitatesaprocesstoidentifyaclearIntentionforyourSoulArtjourney.BytakingthetimetoidentifyaclearIntention,youcreateapowerfulguidinglightfortherestofthevisioningjourney.

YouarethenguidedtoconnectwithyourRootChakra.AttendingandattuningtothisChakracreatesaclearchannelfortheflowofyourSoulwisdomforthesession.NextyouwilldrawabodymapofyourRootChakraonpapertobringyourexperienceofthisChakrainasthebasestructureforyourSoulArt.

Participantsarethenleadthrougha“creativitydoor”toenterintoacreativeexpressionprocesstocreateacollagewithmagazinecutouts.TheartyoucreatewillbedirectcommunicationfromyourSoulinresponsetoyourIntention.

ParticipantsarethenguidedthroughanexercisetoidentifyyourinsightsfromtheSoulArt.

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Lastly,youwillidentifyaSpiritActiontoactivatetheseinsightsinyourlife.

Thismethodisplayfulinspiritandgivesyouclearanswerstoovercomeeventhebiggestchallengessoyoucanmoveforwardwithcreatingthelifeyoudesire.It’salotoffun!Noartskillorexperienceisneeded–justbringyourdesireforclarityandtohaveafunexperience.Leavewithapowerfulsenseofpurpose,directionandinneralignment!

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Project Sunshine Final Report - Andrea M. Winn · Project Sunshine is a one-year project that was...

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