Psychology 137C: Intimate Relationships Week 9, Lecture 2:

Intimacy Across the Lifespan

REMINDERS:

The review session for the final will be in this room next Wednesday.

Course evaluations will be distributed at the end of the last lecture that day.

The final itself will be in this room during the normal lecture time one week from today (June 4th).

Beyond Young Adults

Relationships are to humans as water is to fish.

So far, we have focused on intimate relationships between adults.

How does intimacy affect us throughout our lives?

Children as Witnesses

How much are young children aware of the relationships of the adults around them?

Answer: they are incredibly sensitive.

Affected by conflict Affected by resolution or not See right through mixed messages

Why Do Adult Why Do Adult Relationships Matter So Relationships Matter So

Much?Much? Primary appraisalsPrimary appraisals

Effects on emotional regulationEffects on emotional regulation

Secondary appraisalsSecondary appraisals Effects on self-conceptEffects on self-concept

Sensitization or desensitization?Sensitization or desensitization? Experimental evidenceExperimental evidence

SiblingsSiblings

Nearly 90% of us have siblings.Nearly 90% of us have siblings.

For kids, conflict is more frequent in For kids, conflict is more frequent in sibling relationships than any other sibling relationships than any other relationship.relationship.

Why should this be?Why should this be? Evolutionary approachesEvolutionary approaches Differential treatment: the doll vs. book studyDifferential treatment: the doll vs. book study

Effects of SiblingsEffects of Siblings

Sibling relationships promote Sibling relationships promote theories of mindtheories of mind..

The benefits of conflictThe benefits of conflict

The false belief testThe false belief test

FriendshipsFriendships

The first voluntary relationshipThe first voluntary relationship

The role of shared imaginative playThe role of shared imaginative play

New source of working models of New source of working models of self and otherself and other

Sociometric TestingSociometric Testing

How it worksHow it works

The four categories:The four categories: PopularPopular RejectedRejected ControversialControversial NeglectedNeglected

Implications of these categoriesImplications of these categories

AdolescenceAdolescence

The attachment transitionThe attachment transition

Even 9 year old kids know what Even 9 year old kids know what intimate relationships are like.intimate relationships are like.

By 6By 6thth grade, kids want relationships grade, kids want relationships themselves.themselves. But big cultural differences.But big cultural differences.

Adolescent relationships Adolescent relationships matter!matter!

Break-ups in adolescence can trigger Break-ups in adolescence can trigger onset of major depressiononset of major depression

Consequences for pregnancy, STDs, Consequences for pregnancy, STDs, violenceviolence

Continuity with adult relationshipsContinuity with adult relationships

CohabitationCohabitation

Over 50% of married couples live together Over 50% of married couples live together first.first.

But most cohabitors do not go on to marry.But most cohabitors do not go on to marry.

Types of cohabitors:Types of cohabitors:

Engaged or pre-engaged (46%)Engaged or pre-engaged (46%) Coresidential daters (29%)Coresidential daters (29%) Trial marriage (15%)Trial marriage (15%) Substitute marriage (10%)Substitute marriage (10%)

Long-term RelationshipsLong-term Relationships

What happens to an intimate What happens to an intimate relationship over many years?relationship over many years?

Sex declinesSex declines The Penny Jar storyThe Penny Jar story

Positivity declinesPositivity declines But negativity stays the sameBut negativity stays the same

Satisfaction declinesSatisfaction declines

Intimacy in Later LifeIntimacy in Later Life

After 65, men are nearly twice as likely After 65, men are nearly twice as likely to be married than women.to be married than women. Why?Why?

Experiences with intimacy in earlier life Experiences with intimacy in earlier life have health and wealth consequences have health and wealth consequences for later life.for later life.

Older adults, date, cohabit, and remarry.Older adults, date, cohabit, and remarry.

Sexuality in Later LifeSexuality in Later Life

Source: Lindau et al., 2007

Losing a PartnerLosing a Partner

Men are at increased risk of depression; Men are at increased risk of depression; women are at increased risk of poverty.women are at increased risk of poverty.

Is it easier if the death is expected?Is it easier if the death is expected?

Does prior relationship make a difference?Does prior relationship make a difference?

Does the death of one predict the death of Does the death of one predict the death of the other?the other?