Quality time with children:

a necessity for their development

The time young children spend with their parents is essential for their healthy development. Need for attention, approval is a basic emotional need of every child. According to researchers in the field of Child Development, it is extremely imperative that children feel connected with their parents/primary caretakers. Children naturally connect when they feel safe and act playful. When children feel disconnected from their parents, they answer in monosyllables, avoid physical touch, and hesitate to make eye contact. On the other hand, when Children do feel connected to their caregivers, they are talkative, physically affectionate, and spontaneously happy.

Children require ongoing nourishment to maintain their relationships, as their minds and relationship skills are growing and developing along with their bodies. Our children, for the most part, are unaware of the myriad of things that we do FOR them. However, they are fully aware of the things which we do WITH them.

Working and raising children is a great balancing act that an increasing number of parents especially in Dubai perform. Parents who work outside the home face many dilemmas and many a times deal with a

significant amount of guilt. As such, parents should not feel guilty about working outside the home, but they should enjoy and make the most of the time they do spend with their children. In other words, make it "quality time."

May 2012

Quality time is defined by experts as meaningful time parents spend nurturing and teaching their children. “Quality time” is time spent doing an activity that is meaningful to the parent and child. It is a time when family members really get to know each other and share their thoughts and feelings. It is not just reserved for stay-at-home moms or dads. Time-crunched working parents can also have quality time with their kids. It's what they make of the time they spend with their children that makes it quality time.

Every minute of connecting, be it through eye contact, physical affection, building, cooking, or playing together will fill our children’s emotional bank account.

There are many moments throughout the day that busy parents spend with their kids -- standing in line, waiting for the doctor, driving the kids to school, getting children ready for bed,

taking them to a park, a movie, or the museum - that can easily be turned into quality time. All it takes is some imagination and creativity. The time, the

parents spend can be great, yet the value of the quality time for children is in the level of connection that exists within those times. When parents sit on the bench and view their children’s gravity-defying antics on the monkey-bars, that is one level of quality time with the children. However, a game of tag with children chasing their parents is light-years ahead of just watching children play, in terms of the connection that is created by engaging in an

activity simultaneously.

• Establish your priorities and make a list of the things that matter to you the most. Make personal and family time as your top priority.

• Make dinner time a MANDATORY time for everyone to come together as a family. Make this happen as often as possible each week. This rule acts as a great family support system.

• Reduce TV time to a maximum of 1-2 hours per day. TV in general is not a great supporter of family values.

• Make best use of time spent in daily routine to make it quality time using your imagination and creativity. These are some of the ways in which you can make the time spent with your children quality time

Bath time: Give your child a toy boat to float in the bath tub and ask her to guess how many pennies (or paper clips) she has to put in the boat to sink it. Then, ask her to test her guess.

Bedtime: Read a story to your child, and have her try to guess the ending before you finish the book to build creativity and imagination.

Car time: Play rhyming games, make up rap songs, and play the alphabet game, by spotting letters A through Z on passing signs. Turn off the radio and the MP3 player and instead talk. If they don't want to talk, they can listen to you recount your day. By hearing you recount your day, your challenges, and how you overcame them or didn't , they will learn how to deal with such situations.

Dinner-making time: As you prepare dinner in the evening, let your child help you cook or create a kitchen concoction while you cook. For example, fill a bowl with soapy water and let her beat with an eggbeater. Then add food coloring and have her continue to beat. See what happens! Meal time: While the family is gathered, play word games, such as I'm thinking of a word in the kitchen that begins with "J," or tell jokes and share funny stories to emphasize the importance of family "togetherness."

Shopping time: Have your child play "find the food" to become more aware of what the family eats or "check the change" to become more aware of how much things cost.

A personal investment in our children is much more important to them than any toy, video game or electronic gadget. Let us commit to spending quality time with our children truly connecting with their hearts and minds.

Tips for spending quality time with your children:

Compiled By Ms Surekha (Kindergarten counselor)

for JSS Private School