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Raising Resilient Children
Conducted by [Practitioner Name]
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Today’s Agenda
• Overview of Triple P
• Highlights from Seminars 1 & 2
• Emotional resilience in children
• Building blocks for success
• Take home messages
• Question time
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Overview of Triple P
• Triple P = Positive Parenting Program
• Developed in Australia
• 30 years of research
• Used in 22 countries
• Local program sponsored by First 5
Santa Cruz County
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Triple P Services
• Seminars: General parenting information
– The Power of Positive Parenting
– Raising Confident, Competent Children
– Raising Resilient Children
• Workshops: Brief help with specific and
common parenting issues
• Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8
sessions)
• One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4
sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions)
• Additional Triple P Support
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Seminar 1: 5 Principles
1. Creating a safe, interesting
environment
2. Having a positive learning
environment
3. Using assertive discipline
4. Having realistic expectations
5. Taking care of yourself
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Seminar 2: Building blocks
Showing respect to
others
Being considerate
Having good communication and social skills
Having healthy self-esteem
Becoming a good problem
solver
Becoming independent
Raising confident, competent children
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Emotional resilience
Emotional resilience is the ability to:
• recognize and accept feelings
• express feelings in appropriate ways
• face and resolve difficult situations
• cope with stressful or upsetting
situations
These abilities are related to children‟s
development
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Importance of resilience
• Children need to learn to cope with
everyday feelings and difficult situations
• Some children experience very stressful
life events
• Ability to cope with feelings is related to
– social skills and relationships
– tolerance and compassion
– coping with life experiences
– prevention of emotional problems
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Emotionally resilient children are:
• caring and socially skilled
• empathic and sensitive
• able to manage their feelings
• able to cope with stress or unpleasant
experiences
• less likely to resort to unhelpful ways of
coping
Benefits for children
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Building blocks
Recognising and accepting
feelings
Expressing feelings
appropriately
Building a positive outlook
Developing coping skills
Dealing with negative feelings
Dealing with stressful life
events
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Building block 1
Recognizing and accepting feelings
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Developmental changes
Children gradually:
• learn to recognize and understand their
emotions and those of others
• become aware of different feelings
• learn the words to describe their feelings
• develop more complex feelings
These changes are related to their
language, thinking and
experiences
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What parents can do
• Accept that ups and downs are normal
• Talk about feelings
• Be emotionally expressive
• Share feelings appropriately
• Help your child recognize and name
emotions
• Encourage your child to be emotionally
expressive
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Building block 2
Expressing feelings appropriately
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Expressing emotions
• What emotional expression is OK – words
– expressions
– actions
• When to express feelings – to whom
– how often
– how much
• What emotional expression is not OK
• Family and cultural expectations
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Traps for parents
• Talking too much about own feelings
• Dwelling on upsets
• Showing too much interest in feelings
• Being overly sympathetic or encouraging
avoidance
• Over-reacting to minor upsetting events
• Not giving enough attention to
other behavior
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Talking about feelings
• Ask how your child feels
• Listen to what they say
• Summarize what they say
• Avoid telling your child how they should feel
• Read stories and talk about the characters‟ feelings
• Help your child recognize feelings in others
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Encouraging children
• Give your child positive attention for
expressing feelings in appropriate ways
– positive feelings
– negative feelings
• Congratulate your child for managing
difficult situations
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Dealing with problems
• Use consistent discipline
– tell your child to stop
– acknowledge their feelings
– give a brief explanation
– tell your child what to do instead
– use back up consequences if needed
• Model better ways of expressing
feelings
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Building block 3
Building a positive outlook
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A positive outlook
Having a positive outlook can involve:
• optimistic thinking
• curiosity and exploration
• contentment
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Encouraging optimism
• Model being optimistic
• Encourage goals
• Encourage initiative and creativity
• Encourage activities where your child
will experience success
• Show how your child has control over
events
• Point out what your child does well
• Talk about the „good side‟
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Encouraging curiosity
• Encourage your child to decide what to
do
• Let your child explore and show your
interest
• Be available when your child wants to
show you something
• Ask questions and make comments
• Help your child learn how to find more
information
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Encouraging contentment
• Model being appreciative and grateful
• Ask about the day‟s highlights
• Have shared family experiences
• Discuss other people‟s point of view
• Discuss accepting things that can‟t be changed
• Foster involvement in meaningful activities
• Encourage your child to slow down and take in their world
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Building block 4
Developing coping skills
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Coping skills
• Problem solving
• Positive self-talk
• Talking back to unhelpful thoughts
• Relaxing mentally and physically
• Asking for help and support
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Helping problem solving
• Set a good example
• Play games that promote thinking
• Encourage your child to find answers
• Prompt your child to work at solving
problems
• Congratulate your child when they
solve a problem on their own
• Involve your child in family problem
solving
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Problem solving steps
• Define the problem
• Come up with solutions
• Evaluate the options
• Decide on the best solution
• Put the plan into action
• Review how it worked and revise the
plan if necessary
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Building positive self-talk
• Ask your child to evaluate their own
achievements
• Explain how thinking different ways
affects how you feel
• Prompt your child to think about what
others might think or feel
• Point out helpful and unhelpful thinking
• Model using positive self-talk to
cope with stress
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Helping children relax
• Provide a good model of how to
manage stress
• Help children find ways to relax that
work for them
• Relaxation strategies include:
– taking slow, deep breaths
– relaxing their muscles
– listening to a relaxation tape or calming
music
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Looking for support
• Discuss how everyone needs to talk
• Talk about how you get support from
others
• Help children find someone to talk to:
– a close family member
– a trusted friend
– a school teacher
– a counsellor
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Building block 5
Dealing with negative feelings
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Negative emotions
• All children have negative emotions
• Parents cannot completely protect
children from these feelings
• Many emotions pass quickly
• Parents can calmly assist and prompt
problem solving
• Parents can help children learn to
resolve negative feelings on their own
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Managing emotions
• Notice when your child is upset
• Ask what is wrong and listen
• Summarize what you have heard
• Acknowledge their feelings
• Ask what they want to do
• Ask how you can help
• Prompt problem solving
• If upset continues, suggest „cooling off‟
• Stay calm yourself
• Make a time to talk later
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Preparing for emotions
Help your child learn to cope on their own, for example, with anxiety
• Set a good example
• Talk about anxious feelings
• Teach your child coping strategies
• Encourage facing fears gradually
• Stay calm
• Prompt coping strategies
• Praise your child‟s efforts
• Talk about dangerous situations
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Building block 6
Dealing with stressful events
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Stressful life events
• Change
• Problems with peers
• Major disappointment
• Unpleasant experiences
• Loss
• Marital separation or divorce
• Joining a new family
• Trauma or serious illness
• Natural disasters
• Terrifying experiences
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Coping with life events
• Allow your child to be upset
• Ask what happened
• Say something positive
• Reassure your child where appropriate
• Don‟t feel you have to solve the problem
• Suggest something to cheer your child up
• Check later
• Encourage use of coping skills
• Seek advice if the problem continues
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• Explain why the move is necessary
• Familiarize your child with the new
situation
• Talk about the advantages
• Get your child involved
• Maintain routines as much as possible
• Help your child keep in touch with
friends
Example: moving house
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Example: dealing with loss
• Consider your child‟s developmental level
• Reassure your child where appropriate
• Encourage appropriate expression of
feelings
• Provide information
• Maintain routines as much as possible
• Arrange a child carer if the loss affects you
• Talk about feelings, coping,
memories
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Take home messages
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Take home messages
• The foundations for emotional resilience
are laid in early childhood
• Emotional skills are important for
happiness, wellbeing and success in life
• Children learn a lot about managing
their emotions from parents
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Take home messages
Parents can help children learn to:
• recognize and accept feelings
• express feelings in appropriate ways
• develop a positive outlook and coping
skills
• deal with negative feelings and
stressful life events
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Tip Sheet
• Review it with your partner or by
yourself.
• Review it this week!
• Choose one strategy you learned
today to try at home.
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Next Steps
• Attend the next seminar [insert date]
• Contact [insert name] for more services
[insert info]
• Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for
more services (831) 465-2217 or
[email protected] or visit
www.first5scc.org
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Stay Connected
“Like” us on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/triplepscc
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Question time
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Positive Parenting…
Small changes, Big differences