Reaching In to Reach Out to Others®A program cultivating mindfulness and courage in schools

By Kay Stewart, M.Ed.

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As “storycatcher” I o!er a glimpse into the story of participant transformation seeded through four seasonal Circle of Trust (COT) retreats with 22 teacher leaders from South Carolina. "e

series began in 2011 with a September retreat, followed by retreats in January and March, and completed in June, 2012. My role as storycatcher illuminated rich possibilities at the intersection of Courage work and mindfulness practice, leading to the creation of my own professional development program, Reaching In to Reach Out to Others.

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COT is about a shared journey toward an undivided life with a “community of solitudes.” Skilled facilitators guide

the journey to enable the inner teacher to take center stage while we listen deeply to ourselves and to one another. A sense of gen-erous, unhurried time is an essential element in COT, o!ering spaciousness rather than feeling jam-packed with a “to-do list” mentality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COT space is both invitational and intentional. While the learning space is open and free, it is also bounded by the intention of exploring soul deep issues of life including hope and despair, joy and sorrow, courage and fear. A#ending to deep issues in COT happens metaphorically through the use of poetry, story, music, or art. Parker Palmer calls these points of focus third things. Paying a#ention, with intention, to third things o!ers an indirect portal to truth and clarity without directly coming through the voice of either facilitator or participant.

"is allows the shy soul to emerge at a pace and depth that feels safe and illuminating. Imagine the di!erence between the blinding impacts of direct sunlight versus the beauty of sunlight gently re$ected on the waters of a mountain stream. A well-chosen metaphor or poem shimmers on hearts and minds even as sunlight shimmers across ripples in a $owing stream. Truth emerges inwardly in silence or aloud in community, as participants re$ect what a poem may illuminate within. "is di!ers from person to person based on unique beliefs, values, gi%s, and lived experience. "e poem or text serves as a focal point, and the facilitator takes care to anchor any shared voices in words, images, or lines from the text. When exploration comes through the inner teacher in this way it is more likely “to be driven by the agenda of the soul than by the agenda of the ego and intellect lurking in the room” (Palmer, 2004).

COT facilitators guide participants to give voice to their truth by speaking from their own

center to the center of the circle. COT facilita-tors embody deep listening so that all voices will be held a#entively and respec&ully. "e receptive heart of communal space in COT is in sharp contrast to communal spaces that are 'lled with ego or intellect. Parker Palmer describes everyday speech as “instrumental” rather than “expressive.” Instrumental speech is about trying to achieve a goal or exert in$uence on another whereas expressive speech is simply about expressing a truth within us. "e signs of speaking our inner truth are subtle, “as subtle as the stillness of a pond; the capacity to recog-nize them grows slowly as we speak in a space where no one is making ripples” (Palmer, 2004).

"is is further reinforced through the practice of asking open, honest questions. In COT, par-ticipants practice asking these open questions which are characterized as questions to which no one has the right answer. "e purpose of an open, honest question is not to satisfy the curiosity of the asker, but rather to evoke the wisdom of the inner teacher. Deep listening and open, honest questioning go hand in hand. "ese questions emerge through focused and receptive a#ention to both the wisdom within and to the metaphors introduced through third things. Participants are encouraged to both listen to and note their own voice, and this happens through the practice of journaling in solitude, sharing in small and large groups, and through a formal Quaker practice called a Clearness Commi#ee.

"e foundational principles and practices of Circles of Trust (COT) are detailed in Parker Palmer’s book, A Hidden Wholeness (2004). At the heart of COT is a belief that when guided by what is deepest within us, regardless of what we name that deepest part of self–soul, true self, spirit, inner teacher–we embody qualities of wholeness including insight, empathy, and compassionate con-nection. “Embodiment is where everything begins: your presence and your clarity about the ground on which you stand set the tone for what is possible in a circle of trust” (Palmer, 2004).

"e COT approach was designed by Parker Palmer when he was invited by the Fetzer Institute to create a program to address the high burnout rate among K-12 educators. He 'rst called it "e Courage to Teach, and Courage Work is still the way participants name the retreat experience and connection that emerges through the COT approach, so I use the terms Courage work and COT synonymously. Courage work is grounded in the premise that we all have an inner teacher and wisdom lies within our wholeness as human beings. COT retreats are enlivened by metaphor, particu-larly those found through nature and the seasons. Our lives move in cycles like the seasons, and the rhythms of nature evoke deep experiences of connection to the natural world.

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The Core of Courage. . . A Hidden Wholeness

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We teach who we are.

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"e Clearness Commi#ee is a formal practice that informs the COT. "is practice of discernment dates back to the 1660’s and has its roots in the Quaker tradition. is a part of most COT retreats, and great care is taken to teach the Clearness Commi#ee process.Teaching precedes the practice, whether or not participants have experienced the practice before.

"e commi#ee involves one focus person along with three to 've commi#ee members whose job is to listen deeply to that focus person for a full two hours, a kind of intense interpersonal mindful-ness. Commi#ee members learn to ask open, honest questions of the focus person. "is gentle questioning is a form of contem-plative inquiry and is guided by deep inner wisdom and intuition. Learning to ask open, honest ques-tions is a practice that transcends the Clearness Commi#ee and spills into all COT experiences. COT facilitators are skilled at asking open, honest questions which helps participants to open their minds to fresh perspectives and unexpected insights.

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COT Core ValuesI()*+,-)./W/01*(*22. !e intention to live less divided by becoming more self-aware and accept-ing of our gi"s and our limitations, our shadows and our light. Awareness is key in allowing our inner world to be congruent with our outer world.

A3)/*()-4-).. Authenticity is about showing up whole and acting genuinely. !is is central to trust and foundational to any relationship.

D-5*,2-).. Diversity is celebrated as a source of wisdom and richness. As we listen deeply to self and others, we welcome diverse voices and varied perspectives.

C0663(-).. Inner work is not about simply focus-ing inwardly, as practices are designed to cultivate a more mindful connection to others in our outer world. !rough authentic, compassionate connec-tion in community we learn to listen and o"en hear one another into speech.

C03,7+*. Courage is rooted in the heart and is essential in order to live and work in a wholehearted way. Courage draws on mind and heart to allow us to persevere through what feels like overwhelming stress.

L05*. COT is grounded in love and the capacity to reach inside ourselves in order to reach out to others. Courage work o#ers practices that deepen our understanding of love and help us to see that our capacity to love is linked to disciplined practices of mindfulness and self-re$ection.

H08*. !e work of COT is about understanding our most deeply held dreams and igniting the passion to pursue them even as we focus on the capacity to be with whatever is present in the moment. Each feeds the other in life-giving ways, with both deepening vocational vitality.

R*(*971. Courage work honors the need for intentional time to slow down, quiet the mind, and turn a%ention inward. Turning inward allows us to move into the outer world in life-giving ways. COT is grounded in the metaphor of nature and the seasons as a way to invite re$ection and renewal.

COT guiding principles E5*,.0(* /72 7( -((*, )*74/*,. !e premise of inner wisdom guides practices in COT. Various wisdom traditions refer to this inner source of guidance and strength as identity, true self, heart, spirit or soul. Tuning in to our inner teacher comes in the form of paying a%ention to both our present moment experience and our deeply held dreams and values.

I((*, 90,: ,*;3-,*2 201-)3<* 7(< 40663-(-).. COT 0==*,2 2874* =0, >0)/ 201-)3<* 7(< 40663(-).. !e inner journey in COT includes practices in which community evokes and enriches our capacity to reframe and expand per-spectives about self and others while making it clear that this is not about &xing, advising, or judging.

I((*, 90,: 632) >* -(5-)7)-0(71. !ough purposeful, COT is never demanding in the sense of pressure to share or participate. COT is about creating space that invites the soul, and the soul shows up by choice, not command. Practices are framed as an adventure rather than one more thing on a “to do” list.

O3, 1-5*2 605* -( 4.41*2 1-:* )/* 2*720(2. Metaphors drawn from the seasons frames inner exploration and evokes openness by representing cycles of nature and life that transcend religious or philosophical di#erences.

A( 788,*4-7)-0( 0= 87,7<0? *(,-4/*2 03, 1-5*2 7(< /*182 32 /01< +,*7)*, 40681*?--).. COT encourages “both/and” rather than “either/or” thinking, allowing participants to see complexity and hold tension in life-giving rather than life-sapping ways. Insight comes both through the intellect and through our bodies, intuitions, and emotions.

W* 1-5* 9-)/ +,*7)*, -()*+,-). 9/*( 9* 2** 03,2*15*2 9/01*. Integrity means wholeness, and COT invites us to live and work out of our wholeness.

A “/-<<*( 9/01*(*22” 3(<*,1-*2 03, 1-5*2. COT is grounded in the belief that what-ever brokenness we experience in ourselves and in the world, wholeness lies beneath the surface. No ma%er the challenge, Courage work invites us to notice and embrace what is life-giving in any situation.

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COT opens the heart and evokes connection to the soul, thus opening participants to explore a rhythm of formal contemplative practice. COT serves as a portal for discovering synergy between mindfulness meditation practice and the self-re$ective practices of COT. "rough embodiment of principles and practices, skilled facilitators invite

common ground and graceful ambiance in a variety of creative ways. With openness and curiosity, participants re$ect on their own felt experience, and they begin to look at themselves and one another with so% eyes of compassion and kindness.

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Walk the pa th to wholeness6

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Cultiva tingthe

Ground of

Courageand

Mindfulnessin Schools

M y &rst exposure to Palmer’s work and the COT approach came through a Mindfulness in Education conference

in 2010, which awakened me to a potential connec-tion in Courage work and mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply about paying a%ention with intention to present moment experience. COT is grounded in paying a%ention, on purpose, without judgment during the sustained period of the COT retreat. Courage work is aligned with both my personal commitment to mindfulness practice and with the a%itudinal qualities foundational to healthy mind renewal. !is knowing led to my development of Reaching In to Reach Out to Others as a new pathway to explore practices of renewal that breathe life into teaching and learning. Intentionally blending formal and informal mindfulness practice with the COT approach brings a new dimen-sion to whole-hearted self-re$ection and creative expression. Regular practice deepens capacities to pay a%ention with curiosity, openness and a willingness to be with present moment experience. An awareness of unique birthright gi"s, core values and beliefs, and deep inner wisdom emerges through mindfulness and Courage work."e intention in Reaching In to Reach Out to Others and in COT is to renew and discover practices for living an undivided and authentic life. Master COT facilitator Sally Z. Hare uses the language of noticing, naming, and nurturing as a framework for self-re$ection and mindful awareness in connecting with seeds of true self through a COT retreat. I am struck by the recollection of a conver-sation with Jon Kabat-Zinn at the 2012 Center for Mindfulness Scienti&c Conference and his saying that meditation is simply about “being yourself and knowing about who that is.” !ough COT does not involve a formal meditation practice, the idea of “being yourself and knowing who that is” is precisely what grounds the noticing, naming, and nurturing inherent in the COT approach. As a result I recognize and name COT as a mindfulness-based approach that enlivens and aligns with my new program. All COT retreats I have experienced begin with a call to be present. Retreat participants are encouraged to

notice what arises in the heart and mind while resist-ing the impulse to judge it. COT retreats are about being present, while embracing personal identity and integrity with qualities of curiosity and wonder. When the COT facilitator creates the space for the soul to be invited into community and for hearts to open, participants perceive in&nite possibilities for fresh perspectives and passion. Mindfulness and courage are nurtured, and compassion and joy become faithful companions on our journey. Yet we need the remind-ers o#ered by the COT Touchstones.

COT Touchs tonesT034/2)0(*2 7,* 4*(),71 )0 COT, 7(< )/*. -(),0-<34* +3-<*1-(*2 =0, -()*,74)-(+ 9-)/ 0(* 7(0)/*,. T/*. 7120 41*7,1. (76* )/* 7))-)3<-(71 ;371-)-*2 )/7) 87,)-4-87()2 7,* -(5-)*< )0 *6>0<.. F3,)/*,, )/*. 1-=) 38 )/* 8,74)-4*2 -(/*,*() -( COT. T034/-2)0(*2 7,* 631)-<-6*(2-0(71 7(< 7,* 0==*,*< >. =74-1-)7)0,2 72 2-+(802)2 )0 ,*6-(< 32 0= )/* ;371-)-*2 9* 632) 8,74)-4* )0 4,*7)* 27=* 2874* 7(< )0 1-+/) )/* 97. 72 9* 971: )/* 87)/ )097,< 9/01*(*22. T/* )*74/*, 1*7<*,2 4011*4)-5*1. *6>,74*< )/* T034/2)0(*2, 7(< I 0>2*,5*< /09 )/-2 71109*< )/* =74-1-)7)0,2 7(< 87,)-4-87()2 )0 2*761*221. 40-4,*7)* 27=* 2874*2. A2 87,)-4-87()2 744*8)*< )/* -(5-)7)-0( )0 1-5* 7(< -()*,74) >. )/* T034/2)0(*2, =74-1-)7)0,2 9*,* =,**< )0 >0)/ 1*7< 7(< =311. 87,)-4-87)* -( )/* ,*),*7).

T/-2 90,: -2 -(5-)7)-0( 0(1. – (*5*, 2/7,* 0, <-*! Never demand. !is Touchstone is alive even before participants arrive at each retreat. All teacher leaders come to the circle because they have accepted the invitation to inner work. !is is a'rmed and named as the retreat begins, and the teachers consistently name how the invitational nature puts them at ease. Facilitators also extend invitations throughout the experience, and partic-ipants are always free to accept each invitation or not. In a sense, the invitations are the work: “!ey open us to the treasure at our feet.”

B* /*,*. B* 8,*2*() – 72 8,*2*() 72 8022->1*. !is Touchstone acknowledges that presence or mindfulness forms the core of our capacity to be whole, encouraging participants to be as present as possible. !ere is an awareness that paying a%en-tion is always a practice of returning again and again to moment-by-moment experience. “I just need to pay a%ention,” said one teacher leader. “!is used to be easy. With all the distractions of our day, it is so hard to be in the moment.”

P,*236* 7(< *?)*(< 9*1406*. Facilitators make clear that we are welcome here. !ey also remind us to welcome ourselves into this space, including our gi"s and our shadows. We are invited to extend this welcome to others, and the giving and receiving of welcome o#er the threshold to safe space, allowing vulnera- bility and deep connection. !e group seems to feel the comfort of the circle, which

becomes apparent during the four retreats as participants a'rm a sense of growing close-

ness. For example, one teacher explains, “None of us knew each other; yet I’m amazed at how quickly we’ve come together. !e energy we have – you can feel it. It’s a testament to the process. It’s a testament to each one of us and the

voice we follow that’s in our heart.”

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Turn to wonder

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W*1406* 2-1*(4*. !e teacher leaders are invited to reframe their relationship to silence. Silence is o"en experienced in the schoolhouse and in our culture as empty and boring or even as punishment. Silence can also be associated with being silenced or oppressed. Courage work reclaims the healing qualities of silence. I observe a shi" in teachers as they moved from stating that “silence is really hard and uncomfortable” to noticing that “I let silence in and discovered peace. I hope I can take time now to welcome silence and to truly listen deeply.” Silence is inten-tionally invited into any COT practice. Courage work is about making a friend of silence. In silence, teachers experience a liberating “spa-ciousness and freedom to explore.”

S0=) *.*2. See others – especially yourself – with so" eyes. Hear others – especially yourself – as you listen to your own inner teacher. Teachers resonate with the image of so" eyes. !e image stays with teachers and gives them “the courage to take o# the masks and trust that every person in the circle would accept us as ourselves. We’re all connected – when we’re free to name our inner selves, it helps us to embody all of our qualities.”

N0 =-?-(+, (0 7<5-2-(+, (0 2*))-(+ *74/ 0)/*, 2),7-+/). Parker Palmer a'rms that this is the Touchstone at the center of all others. We must let go of judging to renew and connect with our souls. Teachers “notice the urge to &x” and they “want students to know they have the ability to &nd the answer.” COT compels teachers to practice non-judging which “allows them to have faith in their knowing and their students’ knowing as opposed to rushing in with quick suggestions and advice.”

W/*( -)’2 /7,<, )3,( )0 90(<*,. !e courage to ask challenging questions is empha-sized in the COT. One teacher o#ered a partic-ular example of how she embodies turning to wonder. She notes, “I wonder now what in the

world was going on with me. I was beginning to be so quick to give the o'ce referral – that’s not me.” She begins to live into the answer as she says aloud: “Now I see I could have been a li%le slower to act, a li%le calmer. I may have to go apologize to this child.” Teacher leaders o#ered hope as they turn to wonder: “As I move into the world, all these questions will go with me. Patience will lead the way in helping me make the turn from inner to outer work” Others claim, “I have much more energy than when I got here” and “While I don’t have all the answers, I’m grateful for the questions.”

L*) )/* >*73). .03 105* >* 9/7) .03 <0. !is Touchstone, o#ered through words from the poet Rumi, reminds participants to trust their birthright gi"s and to allow what they love to be their work in the world. It comes to life through the “no &xing” Touchstone at the core of this work, and it opens space for insights such as, “I have a di#erent perspective on taking chances. I can begin anew with a fresh start from here and go forward.” Teachers also claim the beauty of their profession: “Teaching is a missionary profes-sion – children need people willing to sacri&ce.

To build a democracy, to keep it going, it’s bigger than us. It’s about children who will stand on our shoulders. It is an honor to be part of this noble profession.”

P,0)*4) 40(=-<*()-71-).. Facilitators emphasize the importance of “deep and double con&dentiality”. Courage retreats are rooted in trust, and this is foundational to authentic rela-tionship. !is sense of safety is hard to describe in words; listening and sharing genuine stories in an atmosphere of trust are rare gi"s. I re$ect on many moments spent sharing the deepest longings on my heart along with my fears and failures. One teacher described it as “divine inter-vention. It’s given me back the love of teaching. I’m touched by the humility of everyone here. !ey aren’t boas(ul, and they reveal who they are – for real.” We yearn to feel seen by another, and “we need and want a li%le more time with

each other. We have se%led in and are ready to go deeper. I could have sat at the picnic table maybe a few more days enjoying deep conversation and connection.”

B*1-*5* -)’2 8022->1* )0 *6*,+* =,06 )/-2 90,: 9-)/ 60,* *(*,+., 60,* 08*((*22, 9-)/ +,74*, 9-)/ “20=) *.*2,” 9-)/ )/* 403,7+* )0 )*74/. !e qualities of possibility and childlike wonder are threaded through each Courage experience. !e follow-ing comment re$ects participants’ perceptions about what is possible through this work: “I no longer ask questions the same way. When I see others with a knowing that they have inner wisdom, I am a be%er teacher, a be%er parent, a be%er spouse, a be%er professional. When we are be%er in one part, we are be%er in all.”

When i t ’s hard, turn to wonder.

Facilitators post on the wall a quote from the poet Rainer Maria Rilke’s Le#ers to a Young Poet (1934):

…have patience with everything

unresolved in your heart and try

to love the questions themselves

as if they were locked rooms or

books wri#en in a very foreign

language. Don’t search for the

answers, which could not be given

to you now because you would

not be able to live them. And,

the point is to live everything.

Live the questions now. Perhaps

then, someday far in the future,

you will gradually, without even

noticing it, live your way into the

answer.

COT Touchstones cont’d

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Soli tude SilenceConnec ti on Clari ty

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The Fruits of CourageWhat are Teacher Leaders saying about Courage work?

“To fully get it you have to experi-ence it–that’s one of the frustrating things about trying to share it with someone else–I don’t know–it’s hard to describe down deep.” (COT participant)

“It’s not even so much the physical going away of being at the retreat but that you know you’re a part of something oddly special–I have this in common with these people... this special work– it’s like a blanket you can almost wrap around your-self to have this connection with people who are ‘courage people.’” “I don’t know if I can put my 'nger on it–peaceful–se#led in like, I’ve done this!” (COT participant)

“It reminded me to try to se#le into 'nding what will make me ful'lled–and this requires space– I think you get so busy that you forget to name and re$ect on the fact that you only have one life and every day is really precious.”(COT participant)

“"is mirrors to me what Courage is–sometimes you can’t plan every direction you’ll go but you have to be open to jumping in the car when things come up.” (COT participant)

COT ,*=1*4)-0(2 7(< )*74/*, 50-4*2 -113-6-(7)* 7(< >,-(+ 417,-). )0 )/* 97.2 -( 9/-4/ C03,7+* 90,: 7(< 6-(<=31(*22

7,* 71-+(*<. M-(<=31(*22 7(< C03,7+* 90,: 7,* >0)/ 7>03) 87.-(+ 7))*()-0( 9-)/ -()*()-0( 72 1-=* 3(=01<2. T/* 7))-)3<-(71 ;371-)-*2 )/7) +,03(< 6-(<=31 797,*(*22 8,74)-4*2 7(< )/* 2*1=-,*=1*4)-5* 8,74)-4*2 0= COT 7,* 40(+,3*(), -(413<-(+ )/* ;371-). )/7) P7,:*, P716*, (76*2 72 602) *22*()-71 )0 COT, (76*1. 1*))-(+ +0 0= =-?-(+, 7<5-2-(+, 7(< @3<+-(+. I <*24,->* /*,* 9/7) I /75* 0>2*,5*< 72 COT 8,74)-4*2.

COT Prac ticesP7.-(+ 7))*()-0( )0 2-1*(4*. A moment of silence brings the circle together, an a"ernoon of solitude and silence brings clarity, and a welcom-ing of silence in dialogue opens space for deep listening. Teacher leaders befriend silence, and that friendship deepens with each retreat. !is is re$ected in participants’ comments such as, “Silence quenches a deep thirst” and “I have learned to love silence. Having no cell service helped. God does have a sense of humor!”

P7.-(+ 7))*()-0( )0 -(5-)7)-0(2 (76*< 72 )/-,< )/-(+2. A poem or a teaching story becomes the focus of a%ention and a portal for unexpected u%erances of soul. Spiritual traditions embrace this practice, as evidenced by the parables of Jesus, the Tao, the stories of the Buddha, and Su& teaching tales. !e stories transcend religion, yet participants say, “!is is like a religious experience. !is is spiritual.”

P7.-(+ 7))*()-0( )0 ;3*2)-0(2. Questions serve as portals for self-re$ection. Practicing the art of asking open, honest questions is central to Courage work. What is an open, honest question? It is one that evokes the inner teacher and does not

carry advice or judgment in disguise. Facilitators model carefully cra"ed questions as they invite responses to the poetry or story introduced as a third thing in the circle. !ese questions open participants to respond in fresh and unexpected ways, inviting them to talk about themselves by approaching a topic indirectly using a third thing. Aha moments abound as we pay a%ention to questions in a process that is alive and fresh, and we are able to trust that no one will o#er advice. !e qualities of non-judging and “no &xing” merge with moments of silent re$ection, resulting in fresh insights and awareness around gi"s, passions,

and longings. Open, honest questions “opened a whole new dimension for me, and it gave me some homework.”

P7.-(+ 7))*()-0( )0 -((*, <-710+3* 7(< -67+-(7)-5* 2*1=-,*=1*4)-0(. Inner dialogue and re$ections illuminate aha moments that embrace both imagination and awareness. As one teacher notes, “I discovered that some of what I thought was going to be life-sapping actually transformed over time. A"er re$ecting, I now realize that most things that I see as life-sapping are also life-giving.” Inner dialogue and imaginative re$ection o"en comes in the form of journaling and artistic self-expression. Participants note that “play is the brain’s favorite way of learning” and “playful writing opens you to discover space for the inner teacher to come through – it was fun to play with words.”

P,74)-4-(+ <**8 1-2)*(-(+: T/* C1*7,(*22 C066-))** P,74)-4*. While deep listening is practiced in and through the entire retreat experi-ence, the traditional Quaker Clearness Commi%ee can be described as interpersonal mindfulness with a twist. For two hours of formal practice, the focus of a%ention is one person, who has volunteered

to be the focus person. !is process is carefully taught at each retreat, as if for the &rst time, a'rming that a beginner’s mind is critical to this practice. !is important skill requires practice, and one teacher noted, “It has changed the way I am with other people. !at’s the coolest thing – it’s changed my life.” !e Clearness Commi%ee in COT o#ers ways to practice mindfulness and deep listening in both solitude and community. In the words of one par-ticipant, “I feel more connected to others, in a good way. And I’m reminded not to let those around me rob me of the courage to be who I am.”

The Roots of Courage. . . The Prac tices

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Open your eyes to the pa t terns

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Themes and Pa t terns

S*1=-A97,*(*22 7(< I(5-)7)-0(2 )0 W/01*-(*22. Participants in COT describe this inner work as revealing, a:rming, and clarifying, and as one participant stated, “It aims for wholeness. It encourages you to live in a way that is undi-vided.” Courage work is about accepting and valuing who you are, and “when you can value those things that make you you, I think you’re closer to those things that make you shine” (COT participant). Participants strengthen self-aware-ness and trust as they step out of habitual pat-terns of reacting, and they don’t allow emotions to override intentions and deeply held values. COT participants connect with a sense of whole-ness that opens space to respond rather than react.

N0)-4-(+, N76-(+, 7(< N3,)3,-(+ B-,)/-,-+/) G-=)2. COT participants name a sense of connection to “understanding the gi;s I was born with” and named Courage work as helping “me to see that the things that I was born with are the last things I should be pushing to the side. <ose were the things that were going to allow me to be the best teacher possible” (COT Participant).

U(/3,,-*< T-6* 7(< D**8 L-2)*(-(+. Deep listening is named consistently as a practice and a skill that stands out for COT participants. Unhurried time allows us to see things more clearly, and as we slow down to the rhythm and speed of life we o;en see things that we would otherwise miss. Participants note the signi=cance of non-judgment in opening us to deep listening when she said, “it’s real important to not comment on what you’re listening to – it’s not your place to =x – it’s not your job to advise. You’re just listening” (COT participant).

R*74/-(+ I( 7(< R*74/-(+ O3)–T/* I680,-)7(4* 0= A10(* T0+*)/*,. A cornerstone to perceived participant bene=ts in COT is deep interaction with others in a safe, trusting learning community. A strong pa>ern emerged around the power of doing inner work in the context

of community. Participants describe listening to one another with an open heart and a:rmed the community as a “great motivator” when noting how “being with a group of people who are like-minded–knowing they are out there every day–gives me strength on the tough days” (COT participant).

P0*),. 7(< S-1*(4* 72 P0,)712 )0 S031.

Poetry and silence are consistently named as life-giving and nourishing ingredients for inner work. COT participants re?ect on the power of poetry and how it speaks to individuals in di@erent ways. One said, “<at’s why I love the power of the poetry–it’s individual and the same piece can speak to 20 people in 20 di@erent ways” (COT participant). COT participants

also consistently name silence as nourishing and foundational to their experience. <ey spoke about trusting and supporting one another in silence, and they said, “the expectation is that silence is there and we embrace it” (COT par-ticipant).

M*)78/0,2 7(< R*6*6>*,-(+ –W* N**< R*6-(<*,2. COT participants mentioned a “strong connection to metaphor throughout the retreats, and extended metaphor” and they spoke about metaphorical themes that provoke re?ective questions like, “Where are your roots now? Are your leaves drooping? Have your needs been met? <e metaphor work means a lot to me” (COT Participant). Symbols and tangible reminders o@ered during COT were noted as signi=cant, such as the Mobius strip: “When we made our =rst one it made such an impression on me. <at physical object–I le; it in my purse and would =nd it at the oddest times. When I would =nd it, it would be a reminder–are your insides showing up along with your outsides? A wonderful reminder to not be divided–to be everything that you are” (COT participant).

L-5-(+ )/* Q3*2)-0(2–R*=1*4)-5* I(;3-,. =0, M-(<, H*7,), 7(< S031. Participants con-sistently noted a new perspective on questions that comes from re?ective inquiry that touches the mind, heart, and soul. One COT participant describes it this way: “I think I =nd myself asking more questions just to see where they’ll lead. Not necessarily looking for an answer but pon-dering from di@erent angles.” Another COT par-ticipant re?ected, “One of the Touchstones of the program is turn to wonder. <at’s one way of teaching us that it’s ok not to know and you don’t have to have an answer right now.” Another said, “Some things just need to be heard – they just need to be pondered. <ey don’t even call for a response COT participants named a fresh perspective on questions and re?ective inquiry that engages mind, heart, and soul.

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Allow life to be mys teri ous

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Let the beauty you love be what you

do.There are hundreds of ways to kneel and

kiss the ground.

Rumi

F,*2/ E.*2–S/-=)-(+ M*()71 M782 )0 B,07<*( P*,28*4)-5*2. Participants re?ect-ed on broadened perspectives and various ways in which the experience “opened your eyes to the pa>erns that are always there – a reminder that you are going to survive – that the good times are going to come around again – and the bad times are going to pass.

It’s not a continual high road – it’s not a con-tinual low road. It’s like the seasons. You’re not going to be in the same place all the time” (COT participant). <ey also o@ered many comments that a:rmed a shi; in perspective that mirrors shi;s experienced through mind-fulness practice. With mindfulness meditation you create this li>le space between input and reaction – like there’s a li>le part of you watch-ing you – not just reacting. So if I journal in the morning or if I run more mindfully, I notice

a di@erence in every interaction throughout my day. Meditative practice evokes bene=ts which are good for the world – not just for you – because you cultivate a di@erent way of being in the world - not so reactive. COT participants spoke of shi;s that occurred that were di:cult to explain in words, as re?ected in this comment, “I don’t know how to explain it - but it gave me an enormous boost of com-

passion for every kid in my classroom. I don’t know how to explain it – it just did” (COT participant).

C0((*4)-(+ )0 P3,802* - M7:-(+ M*7(-(+ )/,03+/ C,*7)-5* S*1=--(;3-,.. Partic-ipants re?ected on connection to meaning and purpose as a key bene=t of COT. One participant re?ected on poetry as a portal to meaning and said the insight that emerged was “this idea that you don’t get meaning wrong! If you’re thinking about it and that’s what it

means to you, then that’s right - such a freeing thought. <at’s one of the things I love about Courage – it says – whatever meaning you are making of this in your life at this moment is the meaning you are supposed to be making of what’s going on in your life at this moment.” Another COT participant shared words she wrote in in her journal that became like a “brand for life. I would write them and re?ect

on them in my journal and they really came alive in me over time. ‘Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are people who are alive.’ <at’s the =rst thing I wrote in my journal. Being alive to my true self is what makes me feel joyful and connected” (COT participant).

"emes and Pa#erns cont’d

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The simple act of slowing down becomes a powerful teacher in the midst of the hectic pace of modern life; so my new program, Reaching in to Reach Out to

Others, is, by design, SLOW. <is SLOW program is informed not only by COT, but also by my training as a facilitator of Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction

(MBSR). MBSR is an educational o@ering designed to cultivate our innate human capacity for wholehearted awareness and is centered on practices that train our

capacity to pay a>ention to present moment experience with a sense of openness, curiosity and acceptance.

My new mindfulness-based approach to wholehearted renewal and professional development ?ows out of the complex interplay and framework of SLOW:

Se t tle the Mind

Lis ten to the Body

Open the Hear t

Wai t for the SoulSLOW re-minds participants to bring mindfulness and self-re?ec-tion into their daily lives. <e healing powers of mind renewal come through both formal mindfulness practices and courage invitations rooted in soul-deep connections inspired through poetry, story, and creative self-expression. Mindfulness feeds self-re?ection and self-re?ection feeds mindfulness. <e interplay of mindfulness and self-re?ective practice moves throughout the SLOW process in order to se)le the mind, listen to the body, open the heart, and wait for the soul.

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Wi th gra ti tude. . .With deep admiration and respect, I o@er joyful thanks to all who facilitate spaces for mindful self-re?ection and soul-deep connections that keep learning and trust alive in a place called school. I’m deeply grateful for every teacher leader I’ve come to know through this beautiful work we call Courage work. It is humbling and inspiring to re?ect on your voices of courage and the many ways you bring heart and soul to this noble profession called teaching. May your ripple of in?uence reach far and wide. You make our world a be>er place, and students and schools are more fully alive because of the experiences shared through Circles of Trust.

HearAelt thanks to Sally Z. Hare and Still Learning, Inc. for inviting me to not only serve as “storycatcher” but also to become a Courage to Teach Teacher Leader Fellow. <is fellowship allowed me to continue my research at the intersection of mindfulness and Courage work which led to the development of my new program, Reaching In to Reach Out to Others. <e SLOW framework at the core of my program is informed by the growing body of scienti=c evidence that points toward the importance of both mindfulness and relational trust among adults in a school as essential to e@ective teaching, learning, and ?ourishing life in community. <is work aligns with the beauty that I love, and I look forward to being a vital part of cultivating the inner resources necessary to keep both ourselves and our schools vibrant and alive!

With love and courage,

Kay Stewar t, M.Ed.www.stillwatersmindfulness.com

Dum Spiro Spiro. . . While I brea the, I hope