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Zone Positive – Resilience Workbook

ResilienceLesson workbookYour companion guide


Welcome to Zone Positive’s Resilience lesson. We are delighted thatyou have chosen to join us. We launched Zone Positive to helppeople create well-being and thrive in their personal and professionallives. If you want to learn how to apply the lessons of PositivePsychology to your life then this course is designed for you.

This workbook accompanies the online lesson on Resilience. Itprovides practical exercises, gives you a place to jot down ideas andcan serve as a handy reference manual that you can keep comingback to. The lesson is flexible so that you can learn at the pace that isright for you.

We want you to experience the power of Positive Psychology foryourself so you can then use it with others in your life. This is a greatplace to start because the theory of resiliency is a fundamentalconcept of Positive Psychology.

Once again, welcome! We hope you enjoy this lesson.

WELCOME

© Zone Positive, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, storied in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission from Zone Positive. For any questions on this, or to inquire about licensing opportunities, please email: [email protected]

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mailto:[email protected]


Table of Contents

PageLesson topic

5Part 1. What is resilience and why is it important10Part 2. What enables resilience… and what undermines it18

Personal action plan 28 References and additional readings 29 Learn more with Zone Positive 30Request a certificate of completion 31

4Before you jump in

Part 3. Coping strategies and applications

General instruction for watching all Zone Positive videos

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Before you jump in

Before you start watching the video we recommend that you print out thisworkbook since it contains instructions for the exercises that you will bedoing. For background reading we recommend the book, The ResilienceFactor, by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shattè..

When doing the lesson, if you are the kind of person who gets distracted, we strongly recommend closing down email, listening to this video on your headphones and finding a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. You can pause the video at any time and return later to complete it.. You can also maximize the screen by clicking on the screen icon in the lower right hand corner of the video (by the volume control).

Exercises are included throughout this lesson. The video will enable you to pause to allow you as much time as you need to complete each exercise.

Goal setting What is one goal you would like to accomplish in taking this lesson?

What to do first

Distractions

Exercises

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Part 1: What is resilience and why is it important

Key Points

Meet the expert

Resilience involves our ability to respond well to adversity. What constitutes an adversity applies to a wide range of challenging events, from the trivial and annoying to the truly tragic.

In his book, Developing Resilience, therapist and coach Michael Neenan writes that there should be a distinction between the skills of resilience necessary for everyday irritants and those called on for significant traumas. What Neenan refers to as “competent functioning” involves our response to life’s relatively minor, quotidian issues. In contrast, what Neenan calls “true resiliency” is the art of coping with major, life-altering events. While it’s a common expression to say that we “bounce back” from adversity, Neenan points out that only the minor setbacks allow us such a rapid and complete recovery. Major life challenges, however, change us and don’t return us back to the point at which we were confronted by them. Rather, Neenan claims we “come back” from such life-altering experiences. And this coming back is often a slow and painful recovery process that will engage all of a person’s resources in order to face, endure, overcome, and hopefully be transformed by the experience.

In this lesson, we are going to explore the different skills of resilience needed to respond to a wide range of adversities. Depending on the magnitude of the adversity, your goals, coping techniques and timeline for recovery will be ultimately vary.

Michael Neenan is the Associate Director of the Centre for Stress Management, in Kent, United Kingdom. He is an accredited cognitive behavioural therapist and author of several books including (with Windy Dryden) Life Coaching: A Cognitive-Behavioural Approach (2002) and Developing Resilience (2009).

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Key Points To illustrate this spectrum of adversity, we presented the stories of three individuals:

Mary, who didn’t receive a thank-you note:

In the scheme of things, she should easily be able to bounce back and move on with her life. According to authors Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein, what she will need to do is address the negative script that has been running through her head, causing her to stew and ruminate over this perceived slight.

Dan, who received a below average performance review:

His adversity likely falls under the category of a non-life altering event. Like Mary, Dan also has an internal negative script that is amplifying his adversity—“It’s someone else’s fault…I’m never going to get ahead…It’s so unfair.” Although responding well to his lackluster review won’t require the all-encompassing approach of “true resiliency” cited by Michael Neenan, it will still necessitate a change in Dan’s attitude. It will entail a more flexible, and less defeatist mindset to adapt to new circumstances. Dan will need to gain a clearer perspective on the situation, including identifying which factors are within his control to change and which are not. Then, Dan will need to test out different problem-solving solutions to get back on track.

Anna, who’s mother is seriously ill

Unlike Mary and Dan, Anna is facing a life-altering event with the impending passing of her mother. She will need to deal with this sad reality and prepare herself to endure a heartbreaking loss. Her adversity is indeed the kind that calls for the “true resiliency” skills described by Neenan…an adversity that engages the whole person, not just aspects of the person. Anna has a strong spiritual background and will likely turn to her faith and close relationships to get her through this time of grief. According to Diane Coutu, author of Building Personal and Organizational Resilience, the propensity to make meaning of terrible times is an instrumental way resilient people find value in and grow from their hardships. This thought is echoed by psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl when he writes, “We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life, even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed.”

Thus, different levels of adversity ultimately require different skills of response. And ideally, each strategy will enable a person not only to overcome the adversity, but to emerge from it a stronger and more evolved individual.

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Key Points Is there a silver lining to adversity?

Recent research on the phenomenon of post-traumatic growth has demonstrated that people can generally benefit from trauma in three main ways:

First, our self image is changed. A common lesson that people draw from bereavement or trauma is that they are surprised by their latent toughness or backbone that has been exposed by the adversity. We often realize that we are much stronger than we had given ourselves credit for. Furthermore, we receive a boost of confidence in our capabilities to deal with future challenges. We will tend to recover more quickly from subsequent traumas because we know that we can cope based on experience. This thought is echoed in the words of the Dalai Lama: “The person who has had more experience of hardships can stand more firmly in the face of problems than the person who has never experienced suffering.”

The second benefit of post-traumatic growth is that the nature of our relationships is clarified and enriched. We see which friends have stood by us, and which “fair-weather” ones disappeared when we really needed them. In this way, adversity serves as a filter. During times of trauma, some people will get closer to you, while others will drift away. In addition, adversity can have the effect of opening up people’s hearts to one another, ultimately strengthening the bonds of relationship. In times of serious distress, whether we are caring for someone, or being cared for, our love, gratitude, and sense of connection are deepened.

And the third potential benefit emerging from serious adversity is that our priorities in life are altered. Traumas serve as wake-up calls, reality checks, or turning points in our lives. They change our priorities and philosophies of living in order to--as the saying goes--live each day to the fullest. So we not only emerge from deep traumas with a greater appreciation for others, but with a greater reverence for life itself.

In all, this concept of post-traumatic growth seems to be paradoxical. We suffer, yet we reap rewards. We despair, but can emerge better able to appreciate and enjoy life. The losses of trauma survivors apparently end up producing valuable gains.

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Key Points General observations about resiliency

What constitutes adversity is in the “eye of the beholder”

Jerry is presenting the company’s plans for the upcoming year in a large room in front of the national sales force. He always thrived on being in front of an audience—the bigger the better. Bill is sitting in the back of the room, being thankful that his job doesn’t require public speaking. Bill would be horrified to be in Jerry’s shoes.

Taking a resilient approach involves managing emotions rather than suppressing them.

Resilience does not imply that we stick our necks in the sand in the face of adversity. Rather than avoiding unpleasant feelings, real resilience is built through pain and struggle. However, it is essential to not get too entrenched in these negative emotions to the point where they paralyze you.

Resilience is a process.

There is not an endpoint at which we can arrive and say, “Ah! At last I’ve attained resilience,” as if it were some kind of enlightenment. Although we can certainly develop our skills of resilience, there is no finish line where we acquire them and move on. Thus, even though people do become stronger through overcoming adversity, it doesn’t mean that they will be “inoculated” to all future adversities. They still may be vulnerable to coping poorly with future challenges.

There is a crucial distinction between surviving an adversity and thriving as a result of it.

A survivor can be consumed with bitterness or wallow in self-pity. On the other hand, the more successfully resilient person emerges from an adversity with a stronger character and a more refined perspective. The truly resilient individual fights to overcome the trauma, and to learn from it…in doing so, carving a path forward to a better future.

The good news through all of this is that we each have within us the psychological resources to be resilient. The skills of resilience are not reserved for the extraordinary and the exceptional. They are universally accessible.

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Exercise 1: What is your resilience quotient?

For this exercise, you will need to visit the following website and take a short questionnaire. The survey should take about 15-20 minutes after which you will receive a score indicating your relative level of resilience.

Instructions:

• Go to this website to take the test: http://www.testyourrq.com/questionnaire/

Important Note: When you pause the video to take this assessment, open a new window in your web browser, then enter the URL noted above. This will enable you to return to the video lesson and resume where you left off.

Welcome to Nicholson McBride’s Resilience Quotient Questionnaire.Resilience, the ability to bounce back from whatever life throws at you, is a core attribute of most people who succeed in their lives. We are interested in where Resilience comes from and how it can be increased.

This website gives you the opportunity, by answering some simple questions, to measure how resilient you are and receive your own Resilience Quotient score. Whether you score high or low, we hope you find taking the questionnaire a useful chance to reflect on your current behavior and outlook, and to receive some preliminary tips on how to increase your resilience even further.

Please answer all of the questions. Be as honest as you can – your results will remain strictly confidential.

You will be asked to complete your contact information at the end of the survey to view your results. Your results will be emailed to you.

• After you have taken the test and know your score, answer these few questions:

1. What is your reaction to the results of this test? Were you surprised? Or, did it confirm what you already know about yourself?

2. Are there situations or areas in which you would like to demonstrate greater resiliency? Explain.

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http://www.testyourrq.com/questionnaire/


Part 2: What enables resilience

Key Points

Emotional Control

Strong relationships

Authenticity and self acceptance

There is extensive research and literature on the psychological factors that contribute to human resilience. For the purpose of this lesson, we have consolidated the most important findings into a list of the most essential ingredients that comprise the skill sets of resilience.

This quality entails the ability to moderate the intensity of your feelings in order to keep your focus in stressful events. People with this trait also display the ability to exhibit consistent behaviors across a wide range of situations. Remember how we mentioned earlier that one of the keys to overcoming adversity is to be able to override the negative scripts that may be playing out in our heads? Well people who can regulate their emotions effectively are better able to rise above these negative scripts that can keep them ruminating or despairing over a problem. One other important benefit of emotional control is that studies have shown that people who lack the ability to regulate their feelings have a harder time building and maintaining relationships. And these relationships can be crucial to helping us to overcome challenges and hardships.

Resilient individuals maintain strong connections with others and tend to have supportive relationships. Nor are they too proud to accept help and guidance from those they trust. Some may find support in their close circles of family and friends, while others may derive it from being active in community groups or faith-based organizations. Either way, these strong social connections are integral in helping us to reclaim hope, especially when dealing with the more serious traumas of life.

The kinder we are to ourselves, the more resilient we will be in facing adversity. The presence of authenticity connotes a life in which our behaviors are in accord with our values and goals. In essence, we are practicing what we preach. Self-acceptance implies that we possess realistic expectations and goals and that we have an accurate recognition of our strengths as well as our vulnerabilities. Brooks and Goldstein describe how a lack of authenticity and self-acceptance breeds discontent, stress, and shallow relationships. These byproducts are all factors that weaken one’s capacity for resilience.

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List cont.

Self Efficacy

Goal setting

Perspective

Curiosity

Self efficacy is the belief in your ability to get things done and move your life in a desired direction. This trait entails the capacity to stay focused on your goals and to carry out the necessary actions to accomplish them. How is this trait related to resilience? Well, we become a lot more hopeful in our ability to pull through a tough situation if we have faith in our ability to successfully take the steps to move forward. “People’ s beliefs in their efficacy influence the courses of action people choose to pursue, how much effort they put forth in given endeavors, how long they will persevere in the face of obstacles and failures, their resilience to adversity, whether their thought patterns are self-hindering or self-aiding, how much stress and depression they experience in coping with taxing environmental demands, and the level of accomplishments they realize” (Bandura, 1997, p.3).

The skill of goal-setting involves your ability to develop realistic goals and to take consistent, dedicated action to move toward those objectives. Instead of focusing on goals that seem unattainable, people with this skill have a clear and levelheaded grasp of the situations facing them. Often when we confront an adversity, we may find ourselves facing circumstances that we just cannot change. Knowing what is within our power to change, and having the sense to set goals we can reach, is therefore an essential skill for resilient behavior.

Resilient people maintain a sense of perspective in the face of adversity. They are able to step back and appraise events in a calm and measured manner, not jumping to “doom and gloom” conclusions every time there is a setback. This equanimity enables them to clearly see the potential options available, and then to take the appropriate steps that will be most likely to help them overcome the adversity.

This means that you are continuously eager to learn about new things. With regard to resiliency, these traits imply an open-mindedness to experimenting with different approaches that will increase your ability to move through an adversity. Furthermore, people with these qualities may not always be successful in their endeavors, but at least they tend to ultimately view them as learning experiences. They generally have a higher capacity for self-reflection. As a result, they are more able to gain insights about themselves and recognize the growth that emerges from their struggles. Research indicates that many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, a greater sense of strength, and an increased sense of self-worth as a result of their adversities. In addition, they have claimed to come through with a stronger sense of spirituality and an overall heightened appreciation for life. In essence, if you are open to the possibilities of the good things that can emerge from a trauma, you may be more likely to reap them.

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List cont.

Persistence and flexibility

Humor

Persistence is often the trait we most associate with resilience. It is our ability to tolerate discomfort and frustration in order to persevere through difficulty or challenge. But resilience also involves maintaining a flexible approach in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events. It requires a balance of both allowing yourself to experience strong emotions in order to fully process and heal from the event…and realizing when you may need to avoid feeling these emotions in order to continue to function in the world. Overall, a flexible approach means knowing when to take action to deal with your problems, and when to take time to step back, rest, and to reenergize.

A sense of humor enables you to not take yourself or your ideas too seriously. In doing so, you are better able to step back and observe circumstances with a little more detachment and objectivity. There are some people who just have an innate ability to joke and laugh in spite of some of the worst cards that can be dealt in life. Their humor brings some light into the situation, and has, in effect, bolstered their resiliency.

The Values in Action (VIA) Strengths Survey provides a classification of 24 strengths organized under 6 virtues. The tool was developed by Drs. Chris Peterson, Nansook Park and Martin Seligman.

One of the qualities of each character strength is that it is measurable. The VIA survey is an online self-reported instrument that produces a rank ordering of character strengths from top to bottom based on your answers to 240 questions. The VIA is a great way to enhance your personal intelligence through understanding your individual makeup of strengths.

To take the VIA Survey of Character. Go to this link: http://www.viacharacter.org/VIASurvey/tabid/55/Default.aspx

You will need to register first (click on Enter the Survey Center to register)

Select Option 1 which provides an immediate report of your character strengths in top-down order with a brief description of each strength. This report is free.

The assessment normally takes 30-40 minutes to complete.

Important Note: If you pause the video to take this assessment, open a new window in your web browser, then enter the URL noted above. This will enable you to return to the video lesson and resume where you left off.

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http://www.viacharacter.org/VIASurvey/tabid/55/Default.aspx


Part 2: What enables resilience and what undermines it

Exercise 2 Demonstrating resilient characteristics

Complete this exercise using recent events in your daily life. Record examples of these events that might fit into any or all of the following categories

Characteristic Signs: How have you demonstrated this characteristicEmotional Control This quality entails the ability to moderate the

intensity of your feelings in order to keep your focus in stressful events. People with this trait also display the ability to exhibit consistent behaviors across a wide range of situations.

StrongRelationships

Resilient individuals maintain strong connections with others and tend to have supportive relationships. Nor are they too proud to accept help and guidance from those they trust.

Authenticity and Self Acceptance

The presence of authenticity connotes a life in which our behaviors are in accord with our values and goals. In essence, we are practicing what we preach. Self-acceptance implies that we possess realistic expectations and goals and that we have an accurate recognition of our strengths as well as our vulnerabilities.

Self Efficacy Self efficacy is the belief in your ability to get things done and move your life in a desired direction. This trait entails the capacity to stay focused on your goals and to carry out the necessary actions to accomplish them.

Goal Setting The skill of goal-setting involves your ability to develop realistic goals and to take consistent, dedicated action to move toward those objectives. Instead of focusing on goals that seem unattainable, people with this skill have a clear and levelheaded grasp of the situations facing them.

Perspective Resilient people maintain a sense of perspective in the face of adversity. They are able to step back and appraise events in a calm and measured manner, not jumping to “doom and gloom” conclusions every time there is a setback.

Curiosity This means that you are continuously eager to learn about new things. With regard to resiliency, these traits imply an open-mindedness to experimenting with different approaches that will increase your ability to move through an adversity.

Persistence and flexibility

Persistence is often the trait we most associate with resilience. It is our ability to tolerate discomfort and frustration in order to persevere through difficulty or challenge. But resilience also involves maintaining a flexible approach in your life as you deal with stressful circumstances and traumatic events

Humor A sense of humor enables you to not take yourself or your ideas too seriously. In doing so, you are better able to step back and observe circumstances with a little more detachment and objectivity.

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Part 2: What undermines resilience

Jumping to conclusions

Tunnel vision

Magnifying and minimizing

Personalization

Meet the expert

Do you respond impulsively to situations before you have all the information or the complete story? And in doing so, do you tend to lose control over your emotions? This is our first thinking trap. Let’s consider Mary and her thank-you note situation. Is it possible that her nephew and his new wife have been working 60 hours a week respectively in their new jobs---and they haven’t had a chance yet to respond to the 200 gifts they have received? There are a number of possible reasons why the note may not have arrived yet. In jumping to conclusions, Mary may be causing herself a lot of unnecessary aggravation without knowing the full story.

Tunnel vision involves a hyper-focus on the negative. Do you tend to zero in on the worst-case scenarios, and the doom and gloom? Is it possible that in doing so, you may be ignoring information that could influence your beliefs in a more productive way? A hyper-focus on the negative can seriously undermine your ability to be resilient in the face of adversity.

Magnifying and minimizing entails collecting information about a scenario, but proceeding to overvalue some details of the story and undervalue others depending on your cognitive biases. Can you see how this might lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy if the overemphasis is on a situation’s negative aspects? A resilient mindset is promoted through cultivating a balanced and accurate appraisal of one’s life situations.

Personalization is the default feeling that you are the cause of your problems. Do you automatically attribute your adversities to your own doing? Do you believe it’s usually all your fault? Do you feel guilty because you tend to think that your actions have led to the pain and misfortune of others? That’s a whole lot of weight for any psyche to take on. Resiliency requires that we be able to accurate discern our own culpability in situations as opposed to the causes that are external to us.

Dr. Karen Reivich is the co-director of the Penn Resiliency Project and a research associate in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Reivich is also an instructor in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program in which she teaches a course on Positive Psychology and Individuals. She is a leader in the field of depression prevention, resilience, positive psychology interventions and school-based intervention research. Together with Drs. Seligman and Jaycox, and Gillham, Reivich is a co-author of the book "The Optimistic Child" and co-authored "The Resilience Factor" with Dr. Andrew Shatte´. In addition, Dr. Reivich has a coaching practice and provides consultation to organizations around the themes of resilience, optimism, and strength development.

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Part 2: What undermines resilience

List cont.

Externalization

Overgeneralization and Pessimism

Mind-reading

The flip side of personalization is the thinking trap of externalization. This is the belief that others are usually to blame for your predicaments. In an effort to protect your self-esteem, you are unable to identify your own role and responsibility in contributing to your adversities. Think back now to our story of Dan and his performance review. Dan was quick to believe that everyone else in his department had let him down, and that they were responsible for his less-than-perfect evaluation.

Overgeneralization and pessimism are the self-destructive tendencies to exaggerate the impact of isolated events, and to perpetuate an overall mindset of negativity.

In his seminal work on learned optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman illustrated how these thinking traps work. Seligman cites three core elements of pessimism that perpetuate a self-defeating mindset: The first involves thoughts of permanence. It is a feeling that a problem or an issue will last forever. For example, take the statement of “I will never get a job.” The second element is what he refers to as pervasiveness. It is the belief that the nature of one problem contaminates and extends to every aspect of one’s life. For instance, “I messed this assignment up, just like I mess everything up.” And the third element is personalization, which is the mistaken belief that it’s all one’s fault. For example, “My son just got suspended from school. I’m to blame for being such a bad parent.” An individual who falls for these thinking traps will be less likely to persevere when the going gets tough, and may easily slip into a state of helplessness and self-pity.

In contrast, optimists tend to view negative events as temporary. They are disposed to think that the adversities will blow over soon. They also tend to be more specific and to generalize less about the problem. To someone with a healthy mindset, a problem does not pervade all aspects of life, but is just limited to a very small and manageable area. And finally, the resilient individual is able to correctly place responsibility for an adverse event on an external cause and not always take blame for the problem. Seligman refers to these approaches of contextualizing the events of our lives as explanatory style. When all is said and done, a healthy explanatory style is one of the most effective approaches to promoting our capacity for resilience.

Mind-reading is closely related to jumping to conclusions, this is when we speculate that we know what is going on in other people’s heads. The resilient individual will ask questions to understand and clarify a situation before making any unhelpful assumptions.

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Exercise 3 How do you deal with adversity

For this exercise, we start by providing you with a few “adversities”. We then ask you to fill in your beliefs (how would you react) and possible consequences. Adversities are noted in the first column. Beliefs are noted in the second column-- what went through your mind after the event happened. Consequences are recorded in the third column- how you felt and/or what you did as the result of the adversity.

We then ask you to come up with examples of adversities that you have experienced and how you dealt with them.

What happened: Here’s what you think: Consequences: Feelings and actions taken

Somebody cuts you off on the highway

Example: this person’s a real jerk-why aren’t the cops around

I’ll show him- I speed up, honk my horn (basically road rage). My blood pressure soars.

Your boss criticized you

Your significant other resents you for spending time with your friends

Your friends got invited to a party and you didn’t

This happened to me:





*Adapted from the ABC exercise, Karen Reivich Ph.D. - University of Pennsylvania

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Exercise 4 Avoiding the sink holes

Complete this exercise using recent events in your daily life. Record examples of these events that might fit into any or all of the following categories. Here’s an example for jumping to conclusions: my sister called yesterday and asked what I was up to. I immediately assumed she was looking for a favor- like covering for her down at the club where she works. I could feel my blood pressure rising- I felt like I was being backed into a corner.


Sink Hole Signs: What happened? Jumping to conclusions Responding impulsively to situations before

you have full information. Loss of control over emotions.

Tunnel vision Focusing on the negative. On behaviors that mesh with your thinking (negative or positive)—ignoring data that could disconfirm beliefs.

Magnifying and minimizing

Collecting all the information, but overvaluing some and undervaluing others. Leads to self fulfilling prophesy. Growth and change requires a balanced, accurate appraisal of the situation.

Personalization Reflex tendency to attribute problems to one’s own doing. Often leads to depression and/or guilt (because others have been violated and it’s your fault). You only see the internal causes of a problem and not the external cause. Resiliency requires accuracy. Self efficacy requires belief that you can change the internal causes.

Externalizing Opposite of personalizing. Problems are rarely your fault. Protects the person’s self esteem. Externalizers fail to identify the problems that were genuinely their fault and within their control. They think everyone else has let them down. Prone to anger.

Over generalizing Character assassination reaction to problems (I’m a bad parent). Explanatory style (me, always, everything).

Mind Reading Those who jump to conclusions. Getting angry because others can’t read your mind and know what to do/say. Gets in the way of problem solving. Ask questions to understand/clarify the situation before making assumptions.

Emotional Reasoning Falsely attributing positive emotion. I’m feeling good so I must have convinced them that I’m the person for the job. Drawing false conclusions about the world based on your emotional state.

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Part 3: Coping strategies and applications

Coping with day to day adversity

Step 1: identify erroneous internal beliefs

How to do this:

The ABCDE Model:

Adversity

Belief

Consequences

Disputation

Energization

Author Michael Neenan, who we referenced earlier, recommends a two-step process in tackling day-to-day adversity. Keep in mind, we’re talking about the irritations, the frustrations, the disappointments…in all, the non-life altering events.

First, you should try to identify any erroneous internal beliefs that may be preventing you from resolving your issue. Now that you are familiar with the most prevalent thinking traps that sabotage resilience, you will have an easier time pinpointing the false assumptions you may be making around an adverse event. After checking in with any assumptions that may be exacerbating the adversity, you should be able to remove much of the anger, guilty and anxiety that is preventing you from moving forward.

One of the most powerful approaches to challenging these beliefs and formulating productive responses to them is a technique we will refer to as “ABCDE.” This application is a core strategy promoted both by positive psychologists and cognitive-behavioral therapists. A fundamental aim of the ABCDE exercise is to challenge the erroneous assumptions that may be causing us undue pain and preventing our ability to generate effective outcomes to the issues that confront us. It works like this:

The “A” stands for Adversity. This is the stimulus or event that causes distress.The “B” stands for Beliefs. These are the assumptions that we make around the causes of the adversity. In our previous section, we discussed the thinking traps, or the forms in which these assumptions can take shape. The “C” stands for the Consequences of holding these beliefs about the adversity. Once we examine the assumptions surrounding the event, then it is helpful to consider what are the ultimate consequences of trusting these assumptions. The “D” stands for Disputation. In this step of the process, we question whether our beliefs are the only plausible explanations for the adversity, and in the process start offering alternative possible reasons as to why the offending event might have occurred. We want to challenge our thinking here, examining if it may be distorted in any way. For example, we may ask:

* What is the evidence for my assumed beliefs about the adversity?* What are other possible explanations for what happened?* What are the implications, or consequences, of believing this way, and

do they make it beneficial or worthwhile to hold onto these beliefs?

And finally, the “E” stands for Energization. In this last step of the ABCDEprocess, we are energized by successfully freeing our minds from the negative assumptions around the adversity. Open to the possibility that our initial beliefs may have been off-base, we now have the freedom to more constructively approach the situation---and move toward an outcome that works for us, rather than against us.

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Exercise 5 The Reframing Process

Refer back to Exercise 3. For each of the adversity examples you provided, identify which of the beliefs (in the column titled “here’s what you think” were negative or pessimistic. In the spaces below, reframe your reaction—to more positive and optimistic. An example is provided.

ReframingExample:

What happened Here’s what you think: Consequences: Feelings and actions taken

This was a negativereaction


This person’s a real jerk-why aren’t the cops around when you need them

You roll down your window and shout at them. Your blood pressure soars. (borderline road rage!)

This reaction is reframed as a positive


They probably didn’t see me. Good thing I’m a careful driver

You slow down, stay alert and focus on getting safely to your destination

Reframing What happened to me (adversity)

Here’s what you think: Consequences: Feelings and actions taken

This was a negative reactionThis reaction is reframed as a positive








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Exercise 5 The Reframing Process cont.

Questions to consider:

Were you able to come up with 3 examples?

What did you notice about your beliefs? Any patterns in behavior?

What were some of the consequences you experienced? What emotion did you experience?

Did you have any physical reactions?

Is there likely to be lingering effects from your actions?

How often did you make a “mountain out of a molehill”?

Did you find it easy to reframe your beliefs? Does this come easy to you or do you get stuck with your perceptions?


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Coping with day to day adversity

Step 2: deal with external issues

How to do this:

ADAPT Model

Attitude

Define problem

Alternative solutions

The second step will be to address the external factors that may be causing the problem. These are the issues like time management, friction with others at work, financial debt, among many potential obstacles. So, first we look within to see if we can identify the source of the problem. Then, we look without.

To manage the external factors that are causing our distress we turn to another application model, called ADAPT, that was developed by psychologists Arthur Nezu, Christine Nezu, and Thomas D’Zurilla. They presented theADAPT strategy in their powerful book, Solving Life’s Problems: a 5-step guide to enhanced well-being. Let’s continue with the example of Dan to bring this model to life. Up to this point in the story, Dan has exposed his self-defeating beliefs. Yet the fact remains that he still has to address the issue of changing the perception of his not being a team player.

The first “A” stands for Attitude. This means cultivating a capable and optimistic mindset to move forward through the adversity. Dan says to himself, “Now that I have exposed those thinking traps and have my emotions under control, I am better prepared to deal with the issue of my performance review. I now feel optimistic about making a plan to get past this all and change perceptions about me in the office.”

The “D” stands for Defining the problem and setting a realistic goal. With a clearer picture of things in his head, Dan thinks to himself, “Okay, as I see it, I need to demonstrate to my boss that I am a team player. I will ask her for an interim review in three months with the aim of reversing her perception.

The next “A” stands for generating Alternative solutions. Dan sits down with a notebook and brainstorms different ways he can go about accomplishing this goal of changing the boss’ perception of him. He jots down the following ideas:I can volunteer for a special project and gather a small team of people to work on it.I can offer to mentor the new guy in the department until he gets adjusted.I can make a point of sharing at least two good ideas in every meeting we haveI can work on my positivity ratio in our meetings—making sure that I deliver 5 positive comments for every one negative.

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Step 2: deal with external issues cont.

ADAPT Model

Predicting the consequences

Test it!

The next step, the “P,” stands for Predicting the consequences and coming up with a solution plan. This entails that Dan examines these alternative solutions he just generated, and evaluates their possible effectiveness. Dan thinks, “Well, I could see how all of these strategies could work to improve my performance within the department with the exception of the mentoring idea. The problem is that the new guy actually has a good deal of experience in this industry. It might come off as bit patronizing for me to offer to be his confidant and show him the ropes. As far as the other three ideas, what I am going to do is keep a journal of my progress, and check in daily with how well they are working out.”

And finally, the “T” stands for Testing it. The time has come for Dan to implement his plan. He has given himself three months to turn the teamwork aspect of his job performance from a negative to a positive. With the ABCDEtool, he has exposed and confronted the thinking traps that were causing his anger. And now, with the ADAPT model, he has created an action plan to address the external factors that were fueling his adversity. In this last step, Dan will test out his new plan, replacing ineffectual strategies with new ones along the way until he reaches his goal of changing his image at the office.

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Exercise 6 Using the ADAPT Model

Think of a stressful situation in your personal or professional life that is presenting you with a problem or an obstacle ( we mentioned earlier the examples of time management, friction with others at work, financial debt etc.). How might you use the ADAPT model to arrive at an effective solution:

Describe the situation: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Adapt Model Description Use the ADAPT model to work towards an effective solution

Attitude This means cultivating a capable and optimistic mindset to move forward through the adversity.

What attitude should I be demonstrating?

Define Define the problem and set a realistic goal

What is my goal?

Alternatives Generate alternative courses of action; brainstorm different ways to accomplish the goal.

What alternatives should I considered?

Prediction Predict the consequences and come up with a solution plan. Examine these alternative solutions and evaluate their possible effectiveness

What are the possible consequences of these alternatives?

Test Test out the new plan, replace ineffectual strategies with new ones along the way until goal is reached.

Which alternative will I move forward with?

Adapted from: Arthur Nezu, Christine Nezu, and Thomas D’Zurilla in Solving Life’s Problems: a 5-step guide to enhanced well-being

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Dealing with life-altering adversity:

Take time

Ask for support

Join support groups

Talk about it

The American Psychological Association offers a comprehensive list of steps that we believe can help individuals like Anna to restore her emotional well-being and sense of control after such a deeply felt loss. Let’s examine their important recommendations:

Give yourself time to heal. Remember, after all, that post-traumatic growth is not an instantaneous process. But rather it takes time. You should realize that this will be a painful and difficult phase in your life. So be patient and allow yourself to fully mourn the losses you have incurred. And don’t be hard on yourself about the changing emotional states you may be experiencing.

Ask for support from people who truly care about you and whom you feel will be able to empathize well with your situation. There are no extra points for valor for going through tragedies like this alone. But do make sure to keep in mind that your traditional support system may be weakened if those who are close to you are also suffering the loss.

Look into local support groups that may be available in your area. These can be especially helpful for those people with limited personal support systems in their own lives. Ideally, if you do choose to join a group, try to find one that is led by an appropriately trained and experienced professional. In all, these groups can help you to realize that others in the same circumstances are struggling with similar reactions and emotions.

Communicate your experience during your recovery process. If you don’t have a close support system and you don’t feel comfortable participating in groups, you may even want to put your thoughts and feelings down into a journal. The key point is to be able to have a release valve for your emotions and thoughts as you work your way through the trauma.

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Dealing with life-altering adversity cont.

Focus on healthy behaviors

Reestablish routines

Avoid alcohol and drugs

Avoid major life decisions for a while

Look for meaning and purpose in your life

Try to engage in as many healthy behaviors as possible to help you cope with the inevitable stress. Simple lifestyle choices like eating well-balanced meals, exercising, and making sure you get enough rest will significantly enhance your ability to cope with stress. If you are experiencing ongoing difficulties sleeping, a practice of meditation or other relaxation techniques may prove to be of great help.

A major life-altering trauma has the ability to throw off any sense of rhythm in life. So make an effort to establish, or reestablish, routines such as eating meals at regular times, or following a regimented exercise program.

But do try to avoid alcohol and drugs. These are some of the most popular crutches and distractions that people tend to rely on to diminish their pain in times of great distress. As we mentioned earlier, the goal of post-traumatic growth is not to escape the pain. Rather it is to feel it, and through it, to emerge transformed for the better. So instead of alcohol and drugs, try to find other enjoyable hobbies or activities that will keep you present and not distracted from what you need to be feeling in order to truly heal.

In addition, try to avoid making major life decisions in these times of deep distress. Thoughts of whether to switch careers or move cities can just add to the substantial stress that you are already experiencing. Put off contemplating those kinds of decisions until you have recovered sufficiently to consider them with a clearer mindset.

And finally, through this process, look to discover and connect with the inherent meaning that may be found in major adversity. This is the last, and perhaps most profound, recommendation. Potential meaning can be gleaned from even the most despairing situations.

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Adapted from: Resistance, Resilience & Recovery Michael J. Kaminsky, M.D., MBA, George Everly, Ph.D., Alan Langlieb, M.D., Lee McCabe, Ph.D. John Hopkins University School of Medicine


Exercise 7

This exercise makes use of Ørner’s TRACK system of responder resilience

Think back over the past several years (or longer). Has there been an adverse life event that you faced– a painful or challenging experience that took significant strength and fortitude to deal with. This is an opportunity for you to reflect back on this time in your life – what did you do (or what could you have done) to effectively cope with the situation. Consider these questions:

What was the adversity that I experienced: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

T—Talk about it but not beyond what you are ready to talk aboutR—Relax; do the things that normally relax youA—Activity; exercise, hobby, the active things that divert you.C—Control; re-establish everyday routineK—Kontemplate (Contemplate); don’t decide /conclude what it all means,

wait and see.

How did I demonstrate this How could I have demonstrated this

T—Talk about it but not beyond what you are ready to talk about

R—Relax; do the things that normally relax you

A—Activity; exercise, hobbies, the active things that divert you.

C—Control; re-establish everyday routine

K—Kontemplate (Contemplate); don’t decide /conclude what it all means, wait and see.

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In this module, we have offered perspectives and approaches that can enable you to not only be resilient in the face of adversity, but to emerge from it a more robust and developed individual. The chart below provides a summary of the key points of this lesson.

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Personal Action Plan

What are your key takeaways from

this lesson?

What can you do to ensure you

remember them?

How can you incorporate your

learning into your work life?

What specifically will you do

differently with those you work

with?

What would you like to incorporate

into your life outside of work?

Which other Positive Psychology lessons would you

like to take?

I will know that I have succeeded when…

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References and suggested readings for this lesson

Brooks, R. & Goldstein, S. (2004). The Power of Resilience. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Elkin, A. (1999) Stress Management for Dummies. IDG Books Worldwide: Foster City, CA.

Goleman, D. (1995) Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books: New York.

McKay, M., Davis, M. & Fanning, P. (1997) Thoughts & Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.: Oakland, CA.

Neenan, M. (2009). Developing Resilience, a Cognitive Behavioural Approach. New York: Routledge.

Reivich, K, & Shattẻ, A. (2002). The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life's Hurdles. New York: Broadway Books.

Yates, J. & Masten, A. S. (2004). Fostering the future: Resilience theory and the practice of positive psychology. In P. A. Linley & S. Joseph (Eds.). Positive Psychology in Practice. pp. 521-539. New York: John Wiley & Sons.

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What else can I learn?

We hope you enjoyed our resilience lesson. We have been busy designing other lessons to bring you the most important and actionable insights from Positive Psychology to Coaching. Zone Positive offers you exciting ways to develop both personally and professionally.

Introduction to Positive

Psychology

Understanding of the basics of positive psychology: what this science is all about, why it’s important to you and your clients and how to achieve positive outcomes. It is the perfect starting point for taking the courses offered by Zone Positive.

Positive Emotions

What are emotions and what role do they play in our lives? How do both positive and negative emotions help us function effectively? Can they be measured? Can they be raised? And most importantly, how will you and your clients benefit?

Engagement

Have you ever been so engaged in an activity that you loose track of time…. so immersed in the challenge and enjoyment of the task that you don’t want to stop? This course will introduce you to the theory and benefits of flow as well as ways to experience it more often

Meaning and Purpose

Strengths

Positive Relationships

Changing

What is the meaning of this thing we call life? Do we all have higher callings? How can we find our a sense of purpose. This course will address the benefits of meaning & purpose and the positive exercises you can use with your coaching clients

Our ability to trust others drives our ability to forge meaningful relationships and succeed in teams and in love. How trusting are you of others? What techniques and habits are most holding you back? Our course in Positive Relationships probe these questions and more

This is one of the foundations of positive psychology. Learn why strengths matter—and how they operate as one of the basic drivers of well-being. You will come to understand your own strengths (and help clients identify theirs as well) and how to apply these gifts towards a more flourishing and fulfilling life

Using Positive Psychology to change habits and behaviors. Ever feel as if you’ve tried everything and still no luck? Maybe its time for a scientifically proven approach. Gain a deeper understanding of the change process and how it can be used to enrich your life.

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Zone Positive – Resilience Workbook31

Zone Positivewww.zonepositive.comEmail: [email protected]

First published in the USA in 2009

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, storied in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission from Zone Positive

We have tried only to use images have Creative Commons commercial licenses. This means that the photographers have given their permission for their works to be used.

For any questions on this, please email: [email protected]

Parting Thoughts

To request a certificate indicating your completion of this course please send the following information to [email protected]. We will prepare your certificate and send an electronic copy via email to the address you provide below.

Name as you would like it to appear on the certificate

Zone Positive course you completed

Date course was completed

Your email address

http://www.zonepositive.com/



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