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REnglish: The destruktion of
communicative competency
I was once asked by a student
Teach me okanemochiEnglish
How should I have responded?
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People are Funny: The British
People all over the world believe that their country is the best in the world. TheEnglish pity these people because they live in an illusion. The English know thatEngland is the best country in the world. In fact, the English know that God is anEnglishman who speaks English with an Oxbridge accent. So, English is thelanguage of Shakespeare and God. That makes it the best language in the world. Itis clearly the best language in the world because people all over the world aretrying to learn it. Every Englishman wakes up each morning feeling blessed forspeaking English.
This explains why the English never bother to learn foreign languages. It would belike exchanging riches for poverty. The Oxford English Dictionary lists 500,000words. German has much less than half that amount of vocabulary, while the poorFrench exist on less than 100,000 words. Never mind that the average English-man knows and uses only 8,000 words. The other 492,000 are there if he needsthem. The Englishman knows that he is superior to the citizen of any other
country. However, he is too "nice" to tell this to anyone. That would be rude. TheEnglish have a horror of offending anyone, especially inferior people. That wouldnot be nice, and being nice means hiding your superiority from others.
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Heres what I should have said
Globish yuzaz a simplifaid pranansiashan gaid
speling wich marjaz meny av tha vaeulz av
Inglish spich. Pipal spiking dhis speling dialect
cud bi andarstud bai adhar Inglish spikarz bat
der pranansiashan wud bi cansidard a litl auf.
What does this mean?
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Globish uses a simplified pronunciation guide
spelling which merges many of the vowels of
English speech. People speaking this spelling
dialect could be understood by other English
speakers but their pronunciation would be
considered a little off.
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Globish, cest quoi?
Jean-Paul Nerrire, brainchild of a former vice president of IBM. A neologistic Lite variant as LeGlobish.
Madhukar N Gogate designed a simplified version of English in 1998 using a subset of high-frequency vocabulary. In 2004, Nerriere copyrighted the idea and published a language bookentitled Parlez Globish.
English has too many words for non-native speakers (NNS).
It has more than French and German. There are over 600,000 + words in the OED. The number
grows everyday. It uses 1500 popular words taken from the Voice of America and other sources. Average native
speaker uses 7500 a day
NNS outnumber native speakers by three to one, with one quarter of the worlds population - 1.5billion - speaking some form of English
Learners of English will hit 2 billion by 2020
Globish a portmanteau - is a toolto allow
everybodyto understand what everybody else issaying the world.
Most communications in English are between NNS
Protect the French language Coca-Cola English
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Words
Nephew becomes son of my brother
Kitchen becomes the room in which you cook
your food.
Chat when people speak casually to each
other.
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How do you learn?
It takes about 182 hours to learn, one day a week forsix months
Sentences limited to under 26 words.
Computer translation is easier - best possible machine
translation. NNS outnumber native speakers by three to one.
NNS are more comfortable with other NNS.
English is spoken in England. Globish is spoken in the
global village Mistakes are less important in Globish than in English.
What matters is communication
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Example 1
English
This erstwhile buddy of yours a weird duck
who will probably put the kibosh on all of our
good ideas.
What does this mean?
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Your old friend is
too strange. He
would ruin all ourefforts.
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Example 2
This little tidbit of literary joy is amiable and a
slam dunk to peruse, notwithstanding the fact
that it has the overwhelming gall to propose a
revamping of our methods of verbal exchange
around the world.
What does this mean?
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Answer
This book is easy to read and with pleasure.
Still, it proposes a complete change in the way
we communicate around the world.
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Example 3
Globish Version
Our Father,
Who comes to us from above,
Your name is holy.
Your rule will soon be here,
Your will will be executed, in this world, and in the above as well,
Give us today the food we need everyday,
And forgive what we do wrong
As we will also forgive the other persons who do wrong to us,
Do not lead us to have bad desires,
But, free us from all that is evil,
For your are the ruler of the above, and yours are the power, and highest honour for ever and ever.
Amen.
What is the British English version?
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Answer
Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory for ever and ever.
Amen.
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'Le dialecte plantaire du troisime
millnaire
Hybrid nouveau language, coined in 1998 by MadhukarGogate, uses a phonetic alphabet and simplified
spelling E.G. Two fine cats quickly went to the city
Too faain kaets kwikli went tu thuh siti
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Still dunt want tu spik globish?
Why I a in a quandary
Rid the world of regional Englishes?
Maintain the standard of native speakers of
English from England, Canada, Australia,
America and so on?
Protect and preserve the use of regional
English like Singlish, Japlish, Spanglish and so
on?
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The Indian Call Centre
The becoming-Western of Asian countries
Complicating matters further lingua franca of global business
Lets see what the world is like when we try to rid the world ofregional Englishes and try to be like Westerners.
becomes This is from The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. A book I
have been reading The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman hashelped to pinpoint what I want to say in this lecture. The title isthe giveaway. We perhaps should re-title it The World with FlatVowels.
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Now its your time to practice
Read the below with your partner
"A bottle of bottled water held thirty little turtles.
It didn't matter that each turtle had to rattle ametal ladle in order to get a little bit of noodles, atotal turtle delicacy . . . The problem was thatthere were many turtle battles for less thanoodles of noodles. Every time they thought about
grappling with the haggler turtles their littleturtle minds boggled and they only caught a littlebit of noodles."
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Quel vhicule dexpression pour la
communication internationale? In preparation for this talk, I researched on World Englishes. I popped
search string English as an Asian language into google and received about1,380 hits. One of the researcher for a book aptly called World Englishesdid the same in May 2004 and received 112 hits. It seems English as anAsian language is becoming more interesting a subject matter for internetusers.
Courses in World Englishes are offered at Chukyo University (Nagoya,),University of Tamagawa (Tokyo), and Waseda University (Tokyo).
Chukyo University (Nagoya, Japan) has established a Division of World
Englishes as an academic unit
Matsuda (2002) suggests using the teaching of world Englishes to promoteinternational understanding
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Regional English examples
Bolton English
Scottish English To go to the messages = ?
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Northern Irish English
to gunder = ?
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South Irish English
I do be drunk = ?
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Jamaican English
Dunny = ?
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Indian English
biodata = ?
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Bladerunner
End of British received pronunciation leads tothe mixing of languages and tongues andends up with strange outcomes.
From the film Bladerunner Globish threatens to undermine Anglo-
American linguistic dominance in the business
world Native speakers of English must learn globish
to communicate
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Simplified globish
Lets see what the world is like is we learn
this simplified form of English, this new
dialect
a one & a two
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Globish test
Abraham Lincolns famous speech in Globish
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathersbrought forth on this continent a new nation,
conceived in liberty and dedicated to theproposition that all men are created equal [and]this nation under God shall have a new birth offreedom, and that government of the people, by
the people, for the people shall not perish fromthe earth.
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Globish?
This is the way to get the Americans to learn
another language
Unfortunately for Britons this is not a joke
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Dont be hung up about the Ls and Rs
be a Globiphone than an Anglophone
Lost in Translation
Obsession about purity
Lets see what the world is like when we worrythat we have a Japanese accent when we speakEnglish.
Dont be hung up about the Ls and Rs
English is about communication, not purity ofprose or grammar