Interpersonal Relationships

Countdown to End of Class

Extra Credit 1 Due Tomorrow

“Office Hours” on Wednesday

Thursday is Exam 3

Extra Credit 2 due on Thursday

Extra Credit 2

http://research.millisecond.com/kelhoff/Media

.web

Do study at link above.

Due by midnight, Th., August 6th.

Learning Objectives: Interpersonal Relationships

Become aware of some determinants of initial attraction

Understand models used to study intimate relationships Examine common relationship issues

Determinants of Attraction

The Initial Attraction Proximity: Being There

Beauty: Getting Drawn In

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Westgate West: Housing at MIT

Proximity: Liking the One’s We’re Near

To meet people is not necessarily to love them, but to love them we must first meet them!

Westgate West: Housing at MIT

Close friends: Next door neighbors: 41% Two doors down: 22% Opposite ends of hallway: 10%

Most popular overall: Lived near stairway

Proximity: Liking the One’s We’re Near

Proximity: Why?

Availability

Mere exposure More often people are exposed to an object, the

more positively they evaluate that object

Mere Exposure with People (Moreland & Beach, 1992)

“Four women and a classroom” study

1 woman had photo taken

3 women attended class 1 woman 5 different times 1 woman 10 different times 1 woman 15 different times

Students rate women on traits at end of semester

Determinants of Attraction

The Initial Attraction Proximity: Being There

Beauty: Getting Drawn In

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Freshmen randomly paired for a dance

Measured measured students’ intelligence, social skills, personality rated students’ attractiveness

DV: attraction to date at end of dance

What predicted attraction to date at end of dance? Physical attractiveness For both men and women!

Physical Attractiveness: Getting Drawn In

(Waltser-Hatfield & colleagues)

Physical Attractiveness: Halo Effect

(Dion et al.)

IV: ½ male, ½ female photos

IV: Attractiveness level Attractive, average,

unattractive

DV: Ps rated photos on Personality traits Happiness in various life

domains Occupational success

Attractive targets were expected to: Attain more prestigious

jobs Be better spouses Have happier marriages Find better spouses Have better social lives Be happier in general Have more desirable

personalities

Physical Attractiveness and Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Men shown photo ½ attractive woman ½ unattractive woman

Phone conversation with woman they believed

to be in photo

DV: behavior of man and woman

What is attractive?

Who is Most Attractive?

Who is Most Attractive?

Who is Most Attractive?

Who is Most Attractive?

Attractive Faces: Only Average

Mathematically Averaged Female Faces

Mathematically Averaged Male Faces

4 Face Composite

8 Face Composite

4 Face Composite

8 Face Composite

16 Face Composite

32 Face Composite

16 Face Composite

32 Face Composite

(Langlois & Roggman, 1990)

Universality in Who is Most Attractive?

Cross-cultural agreement in attractiveness rankings

Even babies can discern more vs. less attractive faces

Why?: Attractive = Average:

Unusual may = sick

Symmetry = attractive

Easy to process = attractive

Who Has the Better Shape?

Attractive Shape: Hip to Waist Ratio Hip-to-Waist Ratio

Ideal for attractiveness = .7

Evidence

Miss America hip to waist ratio stayed consistent over time

Preferred ratio across culture

What traits do you find

attractive?

Gender Differences in What is Attractive

Men

Physical Attractiveness

Youth

Women

Good financial prospects

Signs that can provide economic resources Age Height

Gender Differences in What is Attractive

Surveyed 10,000 people

37 different countries

Asked about mate preferences

Gender Differences in What is Attractive

Men > Women

92% of countries preferred good looks

100% of countries

preferred younger Peak reproductive age Size of age difference grew

and men got older

Women > Men

97% of countries preferred good financial prospects

100% of countries preferred older

Buss, 1989

Why?: Evolutionary Perspective

Sexual Selection

Gender differences when males and female face different adaptive pressures

Women must invest more in each offspring

Men must attract mates/spread seed

Additional Evidence

What is attractive does seem to correspond with reproductive capacity

Some gender differences affected by menstrual cycle When highest chance of

pregnancy women prefer more masculine faces

Why?: Social Role Theory

Division of labor

Role of man is to bring home $

Role is to create a pleasant home & care for children

Additional Evidence

Men also prefer good cooks

Gender difference related to how egalitarian the country is

Gender differences decreasing over time

Determinants of Attraction

The Initial Attraction Proximity: Being There

Beauty: Getting Drawn In

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Similarity

Reciprocity

External barriers

Birds of a feather flock together

Opposites Attract

Similarity: Liking People Who Are Like Us

IV Pairs selected based

on attitudes ½ similar attitudes ½ dissimilar attitudes

Pairs went on a date

DV: Attraction

Birds of a feather flock together

Similarity: Liking People Who Are Like Us

Majority of U.S. married couples similar in race, religion, age, SES, education, IQ, height, eye color, and physical attractiveness

Dating couples who were similar on multiple dimensions more often together 1 year later

Married couples with more similar personalities reported more closeness, shared enjoyment of daily activities, marital satisfaction, less conflict

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Similarity

Reciprocity

External barriers

Reciprocity: Liking Others Who Like Us “Do I like you?” (Curtis & Miller)

pairs of unacquainted students 10-minute get to you know conversation

Manipulate Ps A’s beliefs about Ps B’s belief Person B likes you Person B dislikes you

10 -minute discussion

Measured A’s and B’s liking for one another

Playing Hard to Get

Reciprocity: Liking Others Who Like Us

Male read info about women’s dating preferences 1 woman gave all the prospective dating partners she

evaluated low ratings (hard to get) 1 woman gave all the men high ratings (very easy for

everyone to get) 1 woman had rated only the subject high (selectively hard -

appeared easy for the subject to date but hard for others to date)

DV: Which woman selected & perceived as friendly

Results: Men pick the selectively hard woman

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Similarity

Reciprocity

External barriers

External Barriers: “the girls get prettier at closing time”

Closing Time Study 1: Bar patrons rated attractiveness of same & opposite sex

Ratings taken at different time periods

People of opposite sex were seen as more

attractive as the night wore on

External Barriers: “the girls get prettier at closing time”

Closing Time

Study 2: Bar patrons rate attractiveness of same & opposite sex

Bar patrons’ level of commitment to a relationship

People of opposite sex were seen as more attractive as

the night wore on BUT ONLY for those on the lookout for a date

External Barriers: Secret Relationships

Wegner and colleagues (1994) 2 “couples” played a card game

1 couple instructed to play “footsie” under the table ½ footsie in secret ½ in the open

Stop game; rate how attracted they were to own partner

& the person in game of opposite sex (in private)

“Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret.” Aphra Behn

Female in Pair 1

Female in Pair 2

Male in Pair 1

Male in Pair 2

Pair 1 plays “footsie”: secret or public

Female in Pair 1

Female in Pair 2

Male in Pair 1

Male in Pair 2

Pair 1 plays “footsie”: secret or public

Results: Pair that played “footsie” in secret was more attracted to their partner compared to pair that played in public, and compared to the other person

Determinants of Attraction

The Initial Attraction Proximity: Being There

Beauty: Getting Drawn In

First Encounters: Getting Acquainted

Learning Objectives: Interpersonal Relationships

Become aware of some determinants of initial attraction Understand models used to study intimate relationships

Examine common relationship issues

Intimate Relationships

Exchange Relationships governed by the need for

equity (equal ratio of rewards and costs by person)

Liked to be repaid for favors; feel exploited when favors not return

Keep track of who is contributing

Being able to help partner has no effect on mood

Communal Relationships Primary concern is being

responsive to other person’s needs

Do not liked to be repaid for favors; do not feel exploited when favors are not repaid

Do not keep track of who is contributing

Being able to help partner puts person in good mood

Intimate Marketplace

Social Exchange Theory

Investment Model

Exchange vs. Communal Relationships

Social Exchange Theory

Outcomes (rewards and costs) Comparison levels

General Alternatives

Intimate Marketplace: Tracking Gains and Losses

Intimate Marketplace: Social Exchange Theory

Rewards Anything about the relationship that results in desirable

experiences for the individual

Costs Anything about the relationship that results in undesirable

experiences for the individual

Outcome = Rewards – Costs

We seek relationships that will provide the best possible outcomes

What do you expect to get?

Comparison level (CL): What you think you deserve in your relationships

Outcomes – CL = Satisfaction/Dissatisfaction

How well could you do elsewhere?

Comparison level for alternatives (Clalt): How well you THINK you could do elsewhere

Outcomes-Clalt = Dependence/Independence

How well could you do elsewhere?

Comparison level for alternatives (Clalt): How well you THINK you could do elsewhere

Outcomes-Clalt = Dependence/Independence

Name that Contributor to Relationship Satisfaction

example

Social Exchange Theory

Outcomes (rewards and costs) Comparison levels

General Alternatives

Intimate Marketplace: Tracking Gains and Losses

Investment Model

(Rusbult, 1980)

Investments How much person puts into relationship that can’t be

recovered if relationship ends

Direct Time, effort, caring

Indirect

Shared memories, mutual friends, shared possessions

Investment Model

(Rusbult, 1980)

Commitment

Rewards

Alternatives ( CL & CLalt)

Investments

Satisfaction

Deg

ree

of C

ontr

ibut

ion

Test of Investment Model

Learning Objectives: Interpersonal Relationships

Become aware of some determinants of initial attraction Understand models used to study the intimate relationships

Examine common relationship issues

Relationship Issues

Miscommunication (about sex) Perceptions of Partner : Attributions Relationship Issues: Keep it Exciting

“Are you Coming on to Me?” (Abbey, 1982)

Procedure

Pairs of males and females talked for 5 minutes (actors) Observers watched the discussion “Actors” and “Observers” answered questions

Results Male actors were more sexually attracted to female actors

than vice versa Male actors & male observers rated female actor as being

more seductive & flirtatious than the female actors rated themselves & female observers rated female actors

Relationship Issues: Miscommunication

Relationship Issues

Miscommunication (about sex) Perceptions of Partner : Attributions Relationship Issues: Keeping it Exciting

Perception of Partner: Attributions

Positive Event

Happy Couples Distressed Couples

My partner takes me out to an expensive dinner

My partner is sweet and thoughtful

My partner took me out to write the cost off on

taxes

Internal, stable, global

Negative Event

My partner forgot my birthday

External, unstable, specific

Something unexpected must have come up

External, unstable, specific

My partner is always uncaring and selfish

Internal, stable, global

Attributions: Causes of outcomes and events

Attributions: Causes of outcomes and events

Relationship Issues

Miscommunication (about sex) Perceptions of Partner : Attributions Relationship Issues: Keeping it Exciting

Mats across a gym floor

1/3 no assignment 1/3 couples individually roll ball across mat 1/3 couples tied up as partner & crawl across mat to roll ball

rate level of satisfaction with quality of marriage

Relationship Issues: Keeping it Exciting

Aron et al., 2000

Why?

Relationship Issues: Keeping it Exciting

IV: Couples assigned to engage in: “exciting” activities pleasant activities no extra activities (control)

DV: Relationship quality “Exciting” activities: greatest increase over 10 weeks

(Reissman, Aron, & Bergman)

Relationship Issues

Miscommunication (about sex) Perceptions of Partner : Attributions Relationship Issues: Keeping it Exciting

Learning Objectives: Interpersonal Relationships

Become aware of some determinants of initial attraction Understand models used to study the intimate relationships

Examine common relationship issues