RELATIONSHIPS“Where Lives Meet”

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TIM

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PR

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COMM

UNICATIO

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FACINGCRISIS

SOCIAL

SUPPORT

APPRECIA

TION

RESOLVING

CONFLICT

BODYBiological Support

For Life

AIR

EX

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CIS

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WATER

SUNLIGHT

FREEDOM

NUTRITIO

NRESTMIND/SPIRIT

“Inner Strength”

FORGIVE-NESS

HOPE

NEWYOU

LOVE

TRUST

COMMAND

CENTER

JOY OFSERVICE

Wellness Integrating Needs

QUICK TO TRUST.QUICK TO TRUST.

QUICK TO JUSTIFY.QUICK TO JUSTIFY.

QUICK TO DEFEND.QUICK TO DEFEND.

SLOW TO SUSPECT - SLOW TO SUSPECT -

SLOW TO CONDEMN -SLOW TO CONDEMN -

SLOW TO OFFEND -SLOW TO OFFEND -

QUICK TO SHIELD.QUICK TO SHIELD.

QUICK TO FORBEAR.QUICK TO FORBEAR.

SLOW TO EXPOSE -SLOW TO EXPOSE -

SLOW TO REPRIMAND -SLOW TO REPRIMAND -

SLOW TO BELITTLE -SLOW TO BELITTLE -

QUICK TO APPRECIATE.QUICK TO APPRECIATE.

QUICK TO GIVE.QUICK TO GIVE.

QUICK TO HELP.QUICK TO HELP.

QUICK TO FORGIVE.QUICK TO FORGIVE.

QUICK TO CONCILIATE.QUICK TO CONCILIATE.

SLOW TO DEMAND -SLOW TO DEMAND -

SLOW TO HINDER-SLOW TO HINDER-

SLOW TO RESENT -SLOW TO RESENT -

SLOW TO PROVOKE -SLOW TO PROVOKE -

Communicating Love in the FamilyCommunicating Love in the Family

Three Stages of MarriageThree Stages of Marriage

EnchantmentEnchantmentRomanticRomantic

ExcitingExcitingThrillingThrilling

PerfectPerfectFulfilledFulfilled

Great ExpectationsGreat Expectations

InfatuationInfatuation

IntriguedIntrigued

ForeverForeverEcstasyEcstasy

We are oneWe are one

DisillusionmentDisillusionment

DisappointedDisappointed

Not PerfectNot Perfect

Problems occurProblems occur"This is terrible""This is terrible"

IrritatedIrritated

What happened?What happened?

HurtHurt

BurdenedBurdened

ResentmentsResentments

TrappedTrapped

Pet PeevesPet Peeves

DisappointedDisappointed

Not PerfectNot Perfect

Problems occurProblems occur"This is terrible""This is terrible"

IrritatedIrritated

What happened?What happened?

HurtHurt

BurdenedBurdened

ResentmentsResentments

TrappedTrapped

Pet PeevesPet Peeves

Not Enough Money Not Enough Money Not Enough Money Not Enough Money

Mature LoveMature Love

GrowingGrowing

RealisticRealisticFriendsFriends

Disagree without being DisagreeableDisagree without being Disagreeable

ThankfulThankful ComfortableComfortable

We need each otherWe need each other

A different RomanceA different Romance

At PeaceAt PeaceJoyJoy

Seasoned loveSeasoned love

Research on LoveResearch on Love

Dr. Dean OrnishDr. Dean Ornish

“Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships.

I have found that perhaps the most powerful intervention...

“Our survival depends on the healing power of love, intimacy, and relationships.

I have found that perhaps the most powerful intervention...

. . . is the healing power of love and intimacy, and the emotional and spiritual trans-formation that often result from these.”

. . . is the healing power of love and intimacy, and the emotional and spiritual trans-formation that often result from these.”

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads us to healing.”

“Love and intimacy are at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads us to healing.”

LOVE -- ROOT OF WELLNESSLOVE -- ROOT OF WELLNESS

“ ‘Love me!’ --that is all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.”

“ ‘Love me!’ --that is all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.”

A SWEDISH STUDYA SWEDISH STUDYA SWEDISH STUDYA SWEDISH STUDY

4 times the 4 times the risk of dying risk of dying prematurely if prematurely if very lonely very lonely and isolated.and isolated.

4 times the 4 times the risk of dying risk of dying prematurely if prematurely if very lonely very lonely and isolated.and isolated.

DUKE UNIVERSITY STUDYDUKE UNIVERSITY STUDY

• Angiograph patients--those unmarried and who did not have a close confidant-- 3 TIMES greater mortality rate

• Angiograph patients--those unmarried and who did not have a close confidant-- 3 TIMES greater mortality rate

Nurturing Touch is vital for the growth of several “physiological systems”, and is indispensable for the establishment of healthy, loving relationships.

Nurturing Touch is vital for the growth of several “physiological systems”, and is indispensable for the establishment of healthy, loving relationships.

“We cannot survive, or live with any degree of comfort or mental health, when we cannot sense touch. A complete loss of the sense of touch can easily submerge us into a psychotic crisis.” Colton (1983, p. 20)

“We cannot survive, or live with any degree of comfort or mental health, when we cannot sense touch. A complete loss of the sense of touch can easily submerge us into a psychotic crisis.” Colton (1983, p. 20)

IMPORTANCE OF TOUCHIMPORTANCE OF TOUCH

Interesting Facts about TouchInteresting Facts about Touch

The skin is the largest system of the body, and its first instrument of communication.

The skin is the largest system of the body, and its first instrument of communication.

Sick children have a greater probability of survival when they are loved and touched regularly.

Sick children have a greater probability of survival when they are loved and touched regularly.

Love DeprivationLove Deprivation

• Little (1965) found “parental deprivation” to be associated with delinquency.

• Wadsworth (1976) found “emotional deprivation” to be a reliable predictor of future delinquency.

• Little (1965) found “parental deprivation” to be associated with delinquency.

• Wadsworth (1976) found “emotional deprivation” to be a reliable predictor of future delinquency.

“Minimum Daily Requirements”“Minimum Daily Requirements”

- How many hugs do we need?- How many hugs do we need?

A Love Hug that rescued a twin sisterA Love Hug that rescued a twin sister

Love is a DECISIONLove is a DECISION

Love is INTENTIONALLove is INTENTIONAL

Love takes PLANNINGLove takes PLANNING

There are different kinds of LOVEThere are different kinds of LOVE

● EROS lovebased on the attractiveness and the desirability of the one loved, based on self interest

● EROS lovebased on the attractiveness and the desirability of the one loved, based on self interest

●PHILIA love --friendship●PHILIA love --friendship

AGAPE loves in spite of the one who is loved

AGAPE loves in spite of the one who is loved

• Is a generous love • Without self interest • Self-sacrificing love

• Is a generous love • Without self interest • Self-sacrificing love

TRANSFORMATIONTRANSFORMATION““Love one another as Love one another as I have loved you.”I have loved you.”““Love one another as Love one another as I have loved you.”I have loved you.”

TRANSFORMATIONFrom a Self-Centered Love to a Self-

Giving Love

TRANSFORMATIONFrom a Self-Centered Love to a Self-

Giving Love

Loving the UnlovableLoving the Unlovable

TRANSFORMATIONFrom a Self-Centered Love to a Self-

Giving Love

TRANSFORMATIONFrom a Self-Centered Love to a Self-

Giving Love

Transformational StepsTransformational Steps

• Identify self-centered love 

• Admit and confess self-centered love 

• Pray that God will remove this spirit 

• Identify self-centered love 

• Admit and confess self-centered love 

• Pray that God will remove this spirit 

• Choose self-giving love 

• Just do it by loving acts

• Choose self-giving love 

• Just do it by loving acts

• Ask God to show you what is the opposite of self-centered love

• Ask God to show you what is the opposite of self-centered love

The 5 Love LanguagesThe 5 Love Languages

• Words of affirmation

• Time together

• Gifts

• Service

• Physical touch

• Words of affirmation

• Time together

• Gifts

• Service

• Physical touch

Homework ActivityHomework Activity

Discuss with the family which of the love languages speaks most eloquently to each of them.

“I personally feel loved when . . . _________________________ ________________________.”

Discuss with the family which of the love languages speaks most eloquently to each of them.

“I personally feel loved when . . . _________________________ ________________________.”

Once you have loved, you can love again . . .Once you have loved, you can love again . . .

A true storyA true story

PrayerPrayer

Lord, teach me to Love, Lord, teach me to Love, like You love. I cannot. It is like You love. I cannot. It is impossible for me. But You impossible for me. But You

can Love in me and can Love in me and through me. You lead me through me. You lead me

to know the fullness of joy to know the fullness of joy and peace only as Your and peace only as Your

Divine Spirit abides in me. Divine Spirit abides in me.

Lord, teach me to Love, Lord, teach me to Love, like You love. I cannot. It is like You love. I cannot. It is impossible for me. But You impossible for me. But You

can Love in me and can Love in me and through me. You lead me through me. You lead me

to know the fullness of joy to know the fullness of joy and peace only as Your and peace only as Your

Divine Spirit abides in me. Divine Spirit abides in me.

Come, Divine Spirit! Fill me. Cover me. May the rich currents of Your

Divine, Self-giving Love flow continually through

me to all---regardless.

Come, Divine Spirit! Fill me. Cover me. May the rich currents of Your

Divine, Self-giving Love flow continually through

me to all---regardless.

ApplicationApplicationApplicationApplication

ACTIVITYACTIVITY

“I remember when I saw love in action. . .” Share.“I remember when I saw love in action. . .” Share.

Love is Balanced Love has limits and boundaries Setting Goals for being a more loving person Fill the “Love Cup” Love is Healing Love Intervenes

Love is Balanced Love has limits and boundaries Setting Goals for being a more loving person Fill the “Love Cup” Love is Healing Love Intervenes

Family Love Factors to ConsiderFamily Love Factors to Consider

“But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, self-control. . .”

Galatians 5:22

“But the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, self-control. . .”

Galatians 5:22

“When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life. Sinful thoughts are put away, evil deeds are renounced;

“When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life. Sinful thoughts are put away, evil deeds are renounced;

“LOVE, humility, and peace take the place of anger, envy, and strife. Joy takes the place of sadness, and the countenance reflects the light of heaven.” Desire of Ages, p.173

“LOVE, humility, and peace take the place of anger, envy, and strife. Joy takes the place of sadness, and the countenance reflects the light of heaven.” Desire of Ages, p.173

Love is Love is UnconditionalUnconditional

Love is Love is UnconditionalUnconditional

A Love AssignmentA Love AssignmentA Love AssignmentA Love Assignment

Go tell someone who needs to Go tell someone who needs to hear the words, “I love you.”hear the words, “I love you.”

Go tell someone who needs to Go tell someone who needs to hear the words, “I love you.”hear the words, “I love you.”