Date post: | 23-Jan-2015 |
Category: |
Health & Medicine |
Upload: | joynayve |
View: | 453 times |
Download: | 0 times |
Assertiveness:Small Group Program
is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way
ASSERTIVENESS:
MAKING THE CHANGEDo I want to change my behavior?
Do I believe in myself, as well as others?
Am I willing to set reasonable goals and take
reasonable risks?
Am I open to new ideas?
Can I accept the facts that things may not change
overnight and not everything will always go my way?
Am I willing to make the effort, practice, and have
patience while building my new skills?
Assertive Behavior includes:
Starting, changing, or ending conversations
Sharing feelings, opinions, and experiences with others
Making requests and asking for favors
Refusing others' requests if they are too demanding
Questioning rules or traditions that don't make sense or don't seem fair
Addressing problems or things that bother you
Being firm so that your rights are respected
Expressing positive emotions
Expressing negative emotions
Assertive versus Unassertive versus Aggressive
Assertive people state their opinions, while still being respectful of others.
Aggressive people attack or ignore others' opinions in favor of their own.
Passive people don't state their opinions at all.
Passive Behavior Aggressive Behavior Assertive Behavior
1. Is afraid to speak up Interrupts and 'talks over' others
Speaks openly
2. Speaks softly Speaks loudly Uses a conversational tone
3. Avoids looking at people Glares and stares at others Makes good eye contact
4. Shows little or no expression
Intimidates others with expressions
Shows expressions that match the message
5. Slouches and withdraws Stands rigidly, crosses arms, invades others' personal space
Relaxes and adopts an open posture and expressions
6. Isolates self from groups Controls groups Participates in groups
Passive Behavior Aggressive Behavior Assertive Behavior
7. Agrees with others, despite feelings
Only considers own feelings, and/or demands of others
Speaks to the point
8. Values self less than others Values self more than others Values self equal to others
9. Hurts self to avoid hurting others
Hurts others to avoid being hurt
Tries to hurt no one (including self)
10. Does not reach goals and may not know goals
Reaches goals but hurts others in the process
Usually reaches goals without alienating others
11. You're okay, I'm not I'm okay, you're not I'm okay, you're okay
Small Group Program
Sessions: Six
Problem AreasAnxietyDifficulty speaking spontaneouslyLow self-esteemNonassertive approach to othersAggressive approach to others
Objectives:
1.To improve awareness, recognition and expressions of feelings in an appropriate manner, both verbally and nonverbally.
2.To enable differentiation between assertive, aggressive and passive behavior.
3.To practice assertive rights and responsibilities in order to increase self-respect and self-esteem as well as to gain self respect from others.
4.To learn basic conversational skills in order to reduce social anxieties.
Objectives:
5. To learn appropriate ways of making and refusing requests.
6. To learn a problem solving approach to clearer communication through familiarization of the DESC system.
7. To learn coping skills in dealing with manipulation and unfair criticism.
Session 1Passive or Nonassertive Behavior
It aims to please others and to avoid conflict at any cost.
Effect:“You’re O.K, I’m not O.K”“I don’t count.”“My feelings don’t matter.”I don’t respect myself.”
Exercise 1
Aggressive Behaviorit aims to achieve or maintain control over
people or situations.
Effect;“I’m O.K, you’re not O.K.”“This is what I want, think, or feel. You have no right to want, think, or feel otherwise.” “You don’t count.”“I don’t respect you.”
Exercise 2 & 3
Session 2
Assertive Behaviorit aims to leave us feeling satisfied with our
interactions.
Effect;“I’m O.K, you’re O.K.”“I respect both myself and you.”“I expect you to respect me.”
Exercise 4 & 5
Nonverbal Component of BehaviorsBecause the majority of our
communication is carried out nonverbally, it is important to be aware of the kinds of messages we give.
Exercise 6
Session 3
Barrier to Being Assertive1. Anxiety2. Guilt3. Fear of feeling/looking ignorant or stupid4. Irrational belief5. Negative self-statement
Exercise 7 & 8
The ABC Emotions
A B C Situation Thought Response
Exercise 9
A B C D E Situation Thought Response Challenge or New Response
Session 4
Assertive Rights and ResponsibilitiesThe first step in learning to behave
assertively is to be aware of, and eventually feel comfortable with, our assertiveness rights and their accompanying responsibilities.
Exercise 10
Exercise 11
Principles of Assertiveness1. Everyone has a basic personal rights.
2. We cannot change others- only ourselves.
3. We are responsible for ourselves and our
behaviors.
4. If we change our behavior so that we feel more
self-respect, people will respond differently to us.
5. No one can read minds successfully. We cannot
know what others are thinking or feeling unless we
ask them. Attempting to do so makes poor
communication.
6. We can learn to be assertive.
The DESC Script
Step 1: DescribeDescribe to your partner the exact
behavior that are uncomfortable to you. Be as clear as possible. Do not generalize or guess peoples motives.
Step 2: ExpressSay what you think and feel about the
behaviors that are uncomfortable to you.
Step 3: SpecifyRefers to changes in what your
partner is doing, not to personality traits or attitudes. Be prepared for the other person to make requests for changes on your part.
Step 4: ConsequencesEmphasize the positive consequences
that will follow if your request is met.
Exercise 12
Session 5
Broken RecordIs a skill that help us learn to persist or
to stick in what we’re saying where we stand in matters that are important even it may cause us to repeat our position over and over with out becoming rude or losing control of our behaviors.
Workable CompromiseIt is a skill by which one works out an
agreement with other person without either person losing or lessening his or her self-respect.
Exercise 13
Session 6
Building Self-respectOne of the best ways to build up our self-respect
is to take time to identify our good qualities.
Sensitive
Guiding Witty
Funny
Accepting
Dependable
Hard Working
HelpfulKind
Patient
Building Self-respect
SELF-RESPECT
Coping with Criticism
Two kinds of criticism1. Factual Criticism
The critic is pointing out that we have made a mistake or that the critic objects to something in our behaviors.
2. Manipulative Criticism The critic’s goal is to manipulate or control
someone by trying to make him or her change in some way.
Skills used to deal with criticisma. Negative assertion
Acknowledging our fault or error. Apologize once. Acknowledging the effect of our action on the
critic- that is, the critic’s hurt or hostile feelings or the importance of our fault or error to him/her.
Making amends, if possible.
b. Negative inquiryIt involves asking, clarifying questions in order to prompt the critic to be direct.
c. FoggingThis skills is helpful when we are having difficulty saying what we really want to say because we are feeling angry. Guilty, or anxious.
The criticism, in principle Any possible truth in criticism The odds that the criticism is true while
still deciding yourself what your behavior will be.
Exercise 14
End of Report
Thank you for listening