Resolution

SourcesN.B for internal use not for printing, reproduction, publishing or distribution• Learning Tools – Mastering

HR Organizational Effectiveness, University Alliance

• Communicate Effectively, Lani Arredondo

• Resolving Conflicts on the Job, Bill Withers & Jerry Wisinski

Learning Objectives• Accept conflict as natural• Discover your own perceptions and

attitudes about conflict• Understand how conflict develops in

relationships• Determine your style and the different

styles of conflict management• Learn how to prepare for a difficult

conversation

What is Conflict?• A competitive or opposing action of

incompatibilities

• Antagonistic state or action

• Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes or external or internal demands

• Hostile encounter

Myths and Truths About Conflict

Myths

• Conflict at work always means that there is something seriously wrong with the organization.

• Conflict means communication has come to a halt.

• If avoided, conflict will eventually go away.• All conflicts can be resolved.• Conflict always results in a winner and a loser.

Truths• Conflict will occur.• Most conflicts can be managed.• Conflict can help build

relationships.• Conflict can be a tool for

personal development

Some Positive Outcomes from Conflict

• Creates change• Brings issues to surface• Can help reduce tension• Helps get the work done• Gets new ideas on the table• Makes change happen

Some Negative Outcomes from Conflict

• People continue to avoid conflict• Hurt feelings• Things said in anger can have a lasting impact• Lack of respect• Lack of teamwork• Change not occurring or happening• Potential violence

• Conflict is natural in almost every relationship.• It is a matter of time.• The key is to understand where the conflict

comes from.• Conflict can be a positive thing in organizations.• It can spark change and creativity if successfully

addressed.• It can be negative if not addressed or recognized.

Overview

Potential Areas of Disagreement

• Scarce resources• Jurisdictional ambiguities• Communication breakdowns• Personality clashes• Power and status differences• Goal differences• Cultural differences• values

Effects of Disagreement

• Communication misfires• Conflict among team members and among

teams within the organization• Lack of clarity in priorities• Lack of trust in each other• Lack of trust in management• Reduction in productivity• Reduction in creativity and innovation

Conflict Management stylesThere are five conflict management styles: • Competing

• Accommodating• Avoiding• Collaborating• Compromising

CompetingAssertive and uncooperative, an individual pursues his/her own concerns at the otherperson’s expense.

Conflict Management styles

Accommodating

Conflict Management styles

Unassertive and cooperative – thisis the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individualneglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person.

AvoidingUnassertive and uncooperative – this individual does not immediately pursue his/her own concerns or thoseof the other person.

Conflict Management styles

Collaborating

Conflict Management styles

Both assertive and cooperative – this is the opposite of avoiding. Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons.

CompromisingThis style is an intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties.

Conflict Management styles

You’ve got to love your people

more than your position

In preparing for a difficult conversation, it takes strength, emotional intelligence

and maturity to look at the other person’s perspective, point-of-view,

and side in the conflict.

Why Have DifficultConversations?

• You’ll reduce your anxiety and get better results• You’ll identify barriers to effective communication• You’ll understand and express complex thoughts and feelings productively• You’ll simply solve problems – amicably

Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation

1. Stop arguing about who is right. Explore each other’s stories.

Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation

2. Abandon blame. Sort out and map the contribution system.

3. Do not assume, act based on facts.

Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation

4. Ground your pride. Ask yourself what is at stake?

Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation

Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation

5. Create a Learning Conversation

Wrong Reflexes

What to avoid?

•Writing memos instead of talking• Withholding needed information• Not returning messages• Delaying giving required support

Continue/…next page

• Getting others to take sides• Shouting• Threatening• Undermining the opponent’s reputation• Nervous gestures• Closed body posture• Tense facial expressions

Wrong Reflexes

What to avoid?

• Laugh with people, not at them• Lighten up. Don’t take yourself too seriously• Think with a sense of humor• Adopt a fun and playful attitude• Plan to have a good time every single day• Help others see the lighter side of things

Importance of Sense of Humor in the work place – basic “fun”damentals

Conflict Resolution Skills

• Power contests• Rights contests• Interest reconciliation

There are three ways to resolve any conflict:

Autocratic Democratic

SELLTELL PARTICIPATE DELEGATE

Degree of authority used by the leader Degree of authority

allowed followers

Leader presents the decision;

invites questions

Leader presents the problem,

gets input and makes the decision

Leader defines limit, permits

followers to make the decision

Leader makes the decision; announces it.

Relationships are the glue that holds team members together.

• Seek to understand the other person’s point of view before you explain yours.• Try to arrive at a common goal• Build on areas of agreement• Clearly state your desire to find a solution that will work for all involved• Depersonalize the conflict• Avoid blaming, accusatory and inflammatory comments•Ask yourself if this is the time and place to pursue an issue of conflict•See conflict as a disagreement about goals, ideas, and methods, rather than a personality or style conflict.

•Use a third-party negotiator when you are unable to practice cooperative problem solving•Listen to other people’s concerns.•Before meeting about a conflict, visualize the conflict resolved in the best way for all parties.•Provide motivation for people involved in on-going or recurring conflicts to resolve their differences.•Always focus on reaching win/win solution.

• Again, conflict is natural• It occurs in all relationships• The key is how to recognize it, deal with it,

and harness it for change and success• It starts with recognizing your own

reactions to conflict and how you can better deal with others and their reactions to conflict for resolution

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.