Reverence and Temperance: Ancient Foundations of the Modern Workplace Space Telescope Institute...

Reverence and Temperance: Reverence and Temperance: Ancient Foundations of the Ancient Foundations of the

Modern Workplace Modern Workplace

Space Telescope InstituteSpace Telescope Institute

3/28/073/28/07

Richard R. Kilburg, Ph.D.Richard R. Kilburg, Ph.D.

Reverence and TemperanceReverence and Temperance

Virtue – “The power or operative influence Virtue – “The power or operative influence inherent in a supernatural or divine being.”inherent in a supernatural or divine being.”

““A particular moral excellence.”A particular moral excellence.”

“…“…certain moral qualities regarded as of special certain moral qualities regarded as of special excellence or importance” – temperance, justice, excellence or importance” – temperance, justice, courage, wisdom, faith, hope, and charity.courage, wisdom, faith, hope, and charity.

Oxford English DictionaryOxford English Dictionary


Virtue – “Sources of good behavior.”Virtue – “Sources of good behavior.”

““A good person is one who feels like doing what A good person is one who feels like doing what is right.”is right.”

““Virtues are about emotions…you can’t learn Virtues are about emotions…you can’t learn about emotions in books….Emotions are the about emotions in books….Emotions are the work of a lifetime.”work of a lifetime.”

Paul Woodruff 2001Paul Woodruff 2001


““Virtues are habits of feeling, and those are Virtues are habits of feeling, and those are much harder to learn or to forget.”much harder to learn or to forget.”

““Virtues grow in us from being used…they are Virtues grow in us from being used…they are our strengths.”our strengths.”

““Communities depend on the strengths of their Communities depend on the strengths of their members.”members.”



Reverence – “Deep or due respect felt or Reverence – “Deep or due respect felt or shown towards a person on account of his shown towards a person on account of his or her position or relationship….or her position or relationship….

Deep respect and veneration for some thing, Deep respect and veneration for some thing, place, or person regarded as having a place, or person regarded as having a sacred or exalted character….gestures of sacred or exalted character….gestures of respect or veneration.”respect or veneration.”

Oxford English Dictionary (1991)Oxford English Dictionary (1991)


““Reverence is the well developed capacity to Reverence is the well developed capacity to have feelings of awe, respect, and shame when have feelings of awe, respect, and shame when these are the right feelings to have.”these are the right feelings to have.”

““Reverence begins in a deep understanding of Reverence begins in a deep understanding of human limitations;, from this grows the capacity human limitations;, from this grows the capacity to be in awe of whatever we believe lies outside to be in awe of whatever we believe lies outside of our control.”of our control.”




When the human soul is irreverent, it is arrogant When the human soul is irreverent, it is arrogant and shameless. It is unable to feel awe in the and shameless. It is unable to feel awe in the face of things higher than itself.face of things higher than itself.

Irreverent souls are unable to feel respect for Irreverent souls are unable to feel respect for people it sees as lower than themselves – people it sees as lower than themselves – ordinary people, prisoners, the poor, the ordinary people, prisoners, the poor, the homeless, subordinates, children.homeless, subordinates, children.


““To teach reverence you must find the To teach reverence you must find the seeds of reverence in each person and seeds of reverence in each person and help them grow.”help them grow.”

Awaken AweAwaken AwePractice RespectPractice RespectEncourage Appropriate ShameEncourage Appropriate Shame


Reverence and TemperanceReverence and Temperance How to be ReverentHow to be Reverent

Always point to Always point to QuestionsQuestions

WhenWhen to feel awe, respect, and shame? to feel awe, respect, and shame? WhyWhy should you feel awe, respect, and shame? should you feel awe, respect, and shame? WhoWho should feel awe, respect, and shame? should feel awe, respect, and shame? WhereWhere should you feel awe, respect, and should you feel awe, respect, and

shame?shame? HowHow should you feel awe, respect, and shame? should you feel awe, respect, and shame?


““If you desire peace in the world, do not If you desire peace in the world, do not pray that everyone share your beliefs. pray that everyone share your beliefs. Pray instead that all may be reverent.”Pray instead that all may be reverent.”


If you desire dignity, respect, and civility in If you desire dignity, respect, and civility in your workplace, practice reverence your workplace, practice reverence throughout your day and encourage others throughout your day and encourage others to do so as well.to do so as well.


Temperance – “ The practice or habit of Temperance – “ The practice or habit of restraining oneself in provocation, desire, restraining oneself in provocation, desire, passion, etc….rational self-restraint (One passion, etc….rational self-restraint (One of the Cardinal Virtues)….Self-restraint of the Cardinal Virtues)….Self-restraint and moderation in action of any kind…and moderation in action of any kind…especially self-control, restraint, or especially self-control, restraint, or forbearance when provoked to anger or forbearance when provoked to anger or impatience.”impatience.”

Oxford English Dictionary 1991Oxford English Dictionary 1991


Temperance – the positive traits that Temperance – the positive traits that protect us against excessprotect us against excess

The strengths of temperance restrain, The strengths of temperance restrain, guide, and help express aspects of guide, and help express aspects of ourselvesourselves

Reverence and TemperanceReverence and TemperancePeterson and Seligman (2002)Peterson and Seligman (2002)

Forgiveness and Forgiveness and MercyMercy

HumilityHumility PrudencePrudence Self- RegulationSelf- Regulation

HatredHatred ArroganceArrogance Pursuit of short term Pursuit of short term

pleasure while pleasure while ignoring long term ignoring long term costscosts

Destabilizing Destabilizing emotional extremesemotional extremes


Emotional Intelligence – The 21Emotional Intelligence – The 21stst Century Century search for a good theory and effective search for a good theory and effective practices of temperance.practices of temperance.

““The capacity to reason about emotions, The capacity to reason about emotions, and of emotions to enhance thinking.”and of emotions to enhance thinking.”

Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004


Emotional Intelligence includes the abilities Emotional Intelligence includes the abilities to:to:

1.1. Accurately perceive emotionsAccurately perceive emotions2.2. Access and generate emotions to assist in Access and generate emotions to assist in

thoughtsthoughts3.3. Understand emotions and emotional Understand emotions and emotional

knowledgeknowledge4.4. Reflectively regulate emotions so as to Reflectively regulate emotions so as to

promote emotional and intellectual growth.promote emotional and intellectual growth.

Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004Mayer, Salovey, and Caruso, 2004

Domains and Competencies of Domains and Competencies of Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence

(Boyatzis and McKee, 2005)(Boyatzis and McKee, 2005)

Personal CompetenciesPersonal Competencies – – Determine how we manage ourselvesDetermine how we manage ourselves

1.1. Self-AwarenessSelf-Awareness Emotional Self-AwarenessEmotional Self-Awareness – reading – reading

one’s own emotions and recognizing one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact; using “gut sense” to guide their impact; using “gut sense” to guide decisionsdecisions



Accurate self-assessmentAccurate self-assessment – knowing one’s – knowing one’s strengths and limitsstrengths and limits

Self-confidenceSelf-confidence – having a sound sense of – having a sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilitiesone’s self-worth and capabilities



2. 2. Self- ManagementSelf- Management Emotional self-controlEmotional self-control – keeping – keeping

disruptive emotions and impulses under disruptive emotions and impulses under controlcontrol

TransparencyTransparency – displaying honesty, – displaying honesty, integrity, and trustworthinessintegrity, and trustworthiness

AdaptabilityAdaptability –Demonstrating flexibility in –Demonstrating flexibility in adapting to changing situations or adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstaclesovercoming obstacles



Achievement Achievement – having the drive to improve – having the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of performance to meet inner standards of excellenceexcellence

Initiative Initiative – being ready to act and seize – being ready to act and seize opportunitiesopportunities

OptimismOptimism – seeing the upside in events – seeing the upside in events and situationsand situations



Social CompetenciesSocial Competencies – Determine – Determine how we manage relationshipshow we manage relationships

1.1. Social AwarenessSocial Awareness EmpathyEmpathy – sensing others emotions, – sensing others emotions,

understanding their perspectives, and understanding their perspectives, and taking active interest in their concernstaking active interest in their concerns



Organizational awarenessOrganizational awareness – reading the – reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at currents, decision networks, and politics at the organizational levelthe organizational level

Service Service – recognizing and meeting – recognizing and meeting follower, client, or customer needsfollower, client, or customer needs



2.2. Relationship ManagementRelationship Management Inspirational leadershipInspirational leadership – guiding and – guiding and

motivating with a compelling visionmotivating with a compelling vision Influence Influence – using a range of tactics for – using a range of tactics for

persuasionpersuasion Developing othersDeveloping others – bolstering others’ – bolstering others’

abilities through feedback, training, abilities through feedback, training, education, guidance, and experienceeducation, guidance, and experience



Change catalystChange catalyst – initiating, managing, – initiating, managing, and leading in a new directionand leading in a new direction

Conflict managementConflict management – resolving – resolving disagreementsdisagreements

Building bondsBuilding bonds – cultivating and – cultivating and maintaining a web of relationshipsmaintaining a web of relationships

Teamwork and collaborationTeamwork and collaboration – fostering – fostering cooperation and team buildingcooperation and team building

Lazarus’ Classification of EmotionsLazarus’ Classification of EmotionsGoal Congruent/Relevant and Goal IncongruentGoal Congruent/Relevant and Goal Incongruent

Positive EmotionsPositive Emotions1.1. Happiness/JoyHappiness/Joy2.2. PridePride3.3. Love/AffectionLove/Affection4.4. ReliefRelief5.5. CuriosityCuriosity6.6. Sexual ArousalSexual Arousal Borderline EmotionsBorderline Emotions1.1. HopeHope2.2. Compassion – Compassion –

empathy/sympathyempathy/sympathy3.3. Aesthetic EmotionsAesthetic Emotions4.4. Elation/GladnessElation/Gladness

Negative EmotionsNegative Emotions1.1. AngerAnger2.2. Fear/AnxietyFear/Anxiety3.3. Shame/GuiltShame/Guilt4.4. SadnessSadness5.5. Envy/JealousyEnvy/Jealousy6.6. DisgustDisgust7.7. ContemptContempt


An Exercise in Emotional IntelligenceAn Exercise in Emotional Intelligence

Take a moment and reflect back on the past few days. Take a moment and reflect back on the past few days. Think of an event, situation, or interpersonal exchange in Think of an event, situation, or interpersonal exchange in which you either expressed your emotions or restrained which you either expressed your emotions or restrained yourself.yourself.

In retrospect, what was your goal in that moment?In retrospect, what was your goal in that moment? Did your strategy of expression or restraint accomplish Did your strategy of expression or restraint accomplish

your goal?your goal? Would you do anything differently now that you are Would you do anything differently now that you are

reflecting about it?reflecting about it?

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Reverence and Temperance: Ancient Foundations of the Modern Workplace Space Telescope Institute...

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