Revision Folktale Can There Be a Happily Ever After

7/31/2019 Revision Folktale Can There Be a Happily Ever After

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Back in the olden times, deep in the mountains of Armenia, in city

called Tashir lived a lovely princess. Her name was Tamara. She had a

family of two caring elder brothers, a compassionate mother, and a loyalfather.

Tamara was locked in a tall, unreachable tower, in the middle of

nowhere. The colorful cementmade walls of the tower stored

paintings of all kinds. Beautiful sunsets, frightful blizzards, and windy

autumns. As scorching summers came, and heavy winters flew, the

blooming spring was arriving, as the thistles and poppies tickled the

grass, and the hollyhocks and orchids gloomed in the tangerine like sun.Flying up in the air, hoopoes with their large erectile peaks on their

heads, and Ibises with their elongated, scenic wings stretched out as far

as China.

My life was perfect, until a beastly magician came and cursed

me! Tamara exclaimed. Ohhhh, Jemma, my fairy godmother, my evil

fairy god mother. Shes as useless as a piece gum stuck under my shoe.

Jemma was evil, and wanted to rule over Armenia. Her powers were

mystical. She wanted to kill the king and queen, but didnt have enough

power. Jemma was known for her clever thinking, and her spontaneous

but evil spark. She cleverly determined what was most important to the

King and Queen. Of course it was Tamara, their only daughter. So as a

result if she threatened to curse Tamara, she would get Tamaras parents

to hand over the throne.

That night, the one which turned me into this and got me here all

because of a few magical words. I could just imagine the scrumptious

Tabouleh sitting right in front of my favorite baklava desert. And of

course my Sosa candles all lined up together. She sobbed, until

surprisingly a doorbell rang. The door opened, and there was Jemma.


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The old snotty witch. Her oily skin hung like dirty socks on a laundry

line, her nose was as crooked as a broken ankle, and her voice was as

screechy as a lop - sided microphone. What a pathetic and pitiful

showoff she was, said Tamara angrily. But something else happenedthat same night, which lead Tamara to the tower.

That dreadful night that changed my life, Jemma had gone to have

a little chat with the king and queen. Oh, Rubert and Olimpia, what a

beautiful daughter you have. Very rare you know. How about we have a

little talk about your throne? Jemma winked her eye.

But isnt it a bit late sister Jemma. You want to talk right now,Olimpia added.

Our throne. What? Rubert asked.

Okay, smarty pants lets cut to the point, Jemma said irritated.

What point? What are you talking about? Olimpia interrupted.

Will you just listen, you two scoundrel skunks! I am here to talk

about the future. I want the throne, and I promise you will give it to me,

Jemma fumed.

Im disgusted! Jemma in which or whatever way, you will never

get our throne. You dont deserve it, Rubert and Olimpia said.

Or how about this, if you dont pass over the throne, I will curse

Tamara with the worst possible, Jemma snickered.

How dare you! Not my daughter, Olimpia complained.

Oh yes, but if you people are smart, you will do as I say, Jemma

continued. In the next five seconds if you dont agree to hand over the

throne, Tamara will be banished and cursed. One, two, five!Gilidiwaposica suprendicaloen!

As Jemmas words were spoken, thunder stuck and Tamara got

sucked into a black hole. Help! Help! Tamara screamed. But the last

thing she saw was her parents lost faces. The next moment, she appeared


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in a dark, lonely and cold tower where you could hear the sound of bat

cries, to the roar of a live fire breathing dragon. The moon was reflected

on the lake, and the Woos ofthe Pallass cats echoed in the dark night

sky. She looked down at her green coated hand, and noticed that herbody had grown in size. Thats when she picked up a mirror, and

realized she was cursed into an ogre.


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Why am I cursed? I didnt even do anything wrong. Who did this

to me? Tamara questioned herself. How long am I here?

Payr and (father) Mayr (mother) will rescue me, I know that. After

all I am their daughter, Tamara thought.

That night, Tamara leaned against the wall sleeping; her hands

tucked in like a princess. However there was something in her hand

which was glowing. Her mirror.

It had been with her forever. Everyday back in the palace, Tamaraused to get up every morning wishing someday her prince Enchanting

would come and marry her. As she used to look into the mirror, with her

reflection upon her, she saw the beauty and passion inside her.


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But a few days back a bizarre fear crept into her, as if something

wrong was going to happen. And as a result it did. She is here now in a

locked tower, away from her family, away from the palace, and lost inthe unknown woods.

Years flew by, and Tamara was tired and weak. Her health

decreased and life was hard. There was food and water but only scarce

amounts. Living up to two years in this tower she waited.

Day by Day Tamaras extraordinary beauty was revealed

throughout, but by dawn to sunrise she turned into an ogre again andagain.

Who will want to save this ugly ogre? I am nobody, Tamara

insulted herself.

One day Unexpectedly, Tamara heard creaky sounds. Whos

there? Tamara whispered as she continued.Come out and reveal

yourself, she ordered.

Maam, I mean Princess, Abet Gorgodian is here to rescue you.

How can I help you? someone said.

A dark shadow appeared.Maybe Prince Enchanting, Tamara

thought.

Ohh finally you came. I have been waiting and waiting, but not

anymore. Please take me back to my family living in the Tashir Royal

Palace, Tamara spoke gleefully.

Mmmm..., Abet interrupted. I am just about to reveal myself.

Please dont freak out, because Im not who you think I am, Abet said.


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What do you mean? I have been dying to see you," Tamara spoke

excitedly.

As she turned her head to look at her beloved, a certain fearcrawled onto her face.

Ahhhhhhh! Tamara screamed. Stay away. Dont hurt me, orI

will DO SOMETHING. She stammered.

There he stood, with eyes so sharp, it felt like his gaze sliced you

through. His hair had not been brushed in a while, and his yellow foul

smelling teeth jutted out. He wore a white t-shirt with loose, hanging,baggy pants. Cuts bruises covered his body. He was definitely not a

prince. He was totally not a human. He was an ogre, just like Tamara.

I know what you mean. But I come in peace. Abet said.

Ohhh. Has my dad sent you? Tamara said surprisingly.

Yes, but try to underst, Abet interrupted.

Tamara quickly added in, Great! Lets please leave I want to go

home.

But, you dont understand! Abet hesitated.

I do perfectly. Although I imagined you a little different Tamara

said scanning Abets body. Anyways, shall we go?

Hmmmm sure, Abet spoke.

As Abet led the way down the stairs, pass the fire breathing

dragon, and finally an old aged bridge they were headed on a long

journey ahead.


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Days raced by, passing through steaming deserts, and blooming

springs. Sweat trickled down their backs by the time they reached

Tashir. In a distance, there was home.

What a beautiful sight, Abet sighed. The lovely trees swaying

with one another, melodious birds singing their hymn, and of course the

crystal clear sky shone above.

Thank you Abet for such a journey. I had so much fun. How can I

repay you for your efforts of keeping me safe? Youre a great guy.

Tamaras cheeks blushed.

Thank you Princess. I had a wonderful time getting to know you.

Abet said shyly. I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner

with me sometime. Abets face turned as red as a beet root.

Umm, sure. But before that I have to tell you something.

Something very important. I have a huge secret that I hide from

everyone, Tamara added.

Abet questioned curiously, What? What is it?

A fewyears ago my aunt cursed me. She cursed me into an ogre.

Tamara stumbled.

So what? I dont care. Friendship for me is blind. This whole

journey was a coincidence. I just want to say that I love you, will you

marry me. Abet kneeled down and magically handed a flower to her.

Tamaras jaw dropped and her eyes opened as she spoke

astonished, Idont know what to say. Youre joking right. Abet your so

good at acting. Anyways, lets continue to walk I have to get home.


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Sadness painted Abets face, but he just kept walking. He had

never expected such a turn out after all that has happened between the

two of them. Maybe he rushed it too much?

Eventually Tamara and Abet reached the castle.


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Entering the gates, Tamara ran all over the castle pleading for her

parents until she reached the dining room. Rupert and Olimpia sat on the

table. They tilted their heads up and took a look at Tamara. Quickly

rushing towards her, Tamaras parents immediately recognized theirjubilant daughter.

Ohh honey, I thought I had lost you forever, Olimpia said

eagerly.

But now I am all safe, the man you sent really helped. Thanks to

you guys I am here, Tamara added.

But we didnt send anybody. Who are you talking about? Rubert

asked.

That moment Tamara skidded outside to check if Abet was still

there, but he was gone. She went to her bedroom, and sat down on the

bed.If this wasnt, then who was he? Tamara continued to think. Picking

up her diary, she started to write:

Dear diary,

I am back. I was saved not by a man, but by a boy who was also cursed

into an ogre. His name was Abet Gorgodian. I just realized he was not

sent to rescue me, but somehow he helped me. He cared a lot about me.

He was a very fun loving person. On the journey that we had together, I

got to know him very well. The truth is that I love him.I dont know what

happened to me back when he proposed me and said that he loved me. I

totally felt the same way as he did but was too lost at that moment. I

want to get married to him and live my life like an ogre, no matter whom

he was. But how am I going to find him? I am going to have to tell

mother and father today, and find him as soon as possible. Till then, Ill

wait for my not exactly prince Enchanting.


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Mayr and Payr, I have something to say. I have fallen in love and

want to get married, but to an ogre. His name is Abet, the one who

helped me reach home, Tamara stuttered.

What? Absolutely not. That man has danger written all over him.

Thankfully you even came home safe otherwise who knows what he

could have done to you. Forget about him, youre not going to get

married to him, and thats an order, Rubert raised his voice.

Payrhe is not like that. I love him and he loves me, Tamara

spoke loudly.

Ohh young lady dont you dare raise your voice, Rubert scolded

Tamara.

A sudden flash of light appeared. The same crooked nose, and

screechy voice. Guess who it was, Jemma of course.

Do I hear that Tamara wants to get married to an ogre, Jemma

laughed. Honey you cant get married to him. The only person you canmarry is my nephew, the real Prince Enchanting. As long as you are a

princess, you can only marry a prince.

Who said so? Its my wish, Tamara ordered.

Keep your voice down, you useless Barbie doll. Look in all the

books. Its a law, for crying out loud. What have you taught her, Rupert

and Olimpia? I say she should get married tomorrow in the St. Martin

church, to my nephew. Jemma interrupted.

I totally agree! Rupert added.

Hayr! Youre my Hayr, havent you realized that, Tamara

screamed.


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Tamara I wasnt born yesterday. Who do you think I am? Now go

to your room, and get ready for the big day! Jemma flew away in a

flash.

Stomping her foot, Tamara ignored her parents, turned her face and

exited the room.

No,I dont want to get married to the Prince. All I want is to have

a happily ever after. But tomorrow is a matter of life and death. Either I

get married to a selfish brat, or I go to my beloved and sacrifice my

royal life. I am so confused, Tamara thought, puzzled.

So tell me more about Abet, Jemma re-appeared.

What do you want? Just go away, Tamara mumbled.

All I want is for you to get married to my nephew. See if you do,

your curse will be broken and you can continue living your old life,

Jemma insisted.

I wont, will never, Tamara stood up.

Excuse me. You will or I will kill Abet, Jemma raised her voice.

Youd never! Tamara screamed.

Or I will. The logic here is that if you marry my nephew,

according to the laws I will get the throne and will be the next and last

ruler of Armenia. But if you arent there in the church for the wedding,

off with Abets head. Jemma blurted out.

Go away you monster!! Leave me alone, Tamara said as tears

ran down her face.


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Jemma disappeared into the nightlight as she cackled and made fun

of Tamara.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, the alarm sang.

Morning has arrived and I am getting married, Tamara thought.

What a disaster. I wish Jemma never existed. I wish I could get rid of

her, and live a happy long life.

As the blazing sun gleamed in the sky, the clock struck 9. Tamarakept thinking, and finally came to a decision that she would get married.

What can she do? She has no way out?

The clock kept ticking 10, 11 and finally 11:45. Picking up her

beautiful white gown, and her florescent flowers in her hands, the music

started to play. Right next to her, her father Rupert stood, and sat on the

pews was her family and friends staring right at her. As she walked

down the aisle and waited for the ceremony to begin, she wondered isthis really the man she wanted to spend her life with. Would he keep her

happy?

Thinking about Abet, he was nowhere to be seen neither in the wedding

nor in the city. He must be roaming around in the forests. But how will I

find him? Tamara thought silently.

As you know in weddings the priest asks each the groom and bride

if they vow to marry each other, so he asked Tamara. But she was blind;

her real love was somewhere out there waiting for her.

I have to go. I am sorry but Icant get married to you Prince

Enchanting, Tamara said excitedly. My love is out there, and I am

going to get him.


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Go Tamara. Go get the real groom, Rupert added in.You have

always done everything Ive said. You listened to me and gave no

complaints or demands. But the biggest decision in your life is accordingto what you choose. If you take the wrong path you will be stuck in there

forever. Sweetheart, love only comes once so dont let it slip through.

Today its your turn not mine.

A smile appeared on Tamaras face as she looked over to her father

and murmured, Thank you.

Wait a minute, a voice said.

Neroghoutioun (excuse me). Rupert how could you say this you

betrayer. Jemma snickered.

Jemma, my aghtchig (daughter) always will come first no matter

what. I am the king, and I will change that law today. Everybody in

order who agree that all princesses should be free to marry anyone raise

your hand. Rupert spoke with pride.

Slowly everybody raised their hand in the air as they said, I

agree.

Well then it is settled. From today, I declare that all princesses are

free to choose their grooms, Rupert recited.

What nonsense. Sorry Tamara but I am going to have to kill Abet.

Any last words! Jemma cackled.

Scrumptious idu, Jemma recited the spell.

Swirling her wand around and reciting the spell my love was gone.


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What did you do? Tamara shrieked. You killed him! I will

never forgive you for as long as I live. I cant bear to live without him.

Tamara started to cry.

That was easy, anyways Tamara darling I was already going to

kill him. Its no big deal. Jemma continued. I did kill him. And now

for the honors I will kill your daddy too.

You dare not. He is the king. Put the wand down I say. Tamara

ordered.

So what if he is the king! Nothing will come in my way. Tamaranow be a good girl. Why dont you go and get some popcorn to enjoy

the show. Jemmajoked around.

Good bye to Rupert, Jemma muttered.

Swiveling up her hands in the air, saying the spell again and again,

she lifted up her wand.

Noooo! Tamara screamed as she jumped in front of her father.

The flash was gone. Everybody stared at me, crowding in a circle.

Next to me sat my Mayr and Payr assuring me my dad was safe. But I

had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I straightened my back

and leaned forward, there was a big red spot on my stomach. It was my

blood. The sound of ahhs and oohs echoed in my brain, as the people

astonished saw me. Suddenly I felt dizzy and nauseous, that I just

wanted to let everything go. Lying on the cold marble floor, I slowly

shut my eyes and fell asleep forever.

That day May 21st

at 11:05am, I was declared dead.


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Years had passed, and people changed. Out far away from the city

lived a family with a new born baby girl. Usually babies would cry at

birth, but when she was born she was different. Instead she smiled with

the most gorgeous gift ever given to her. Her glistening blue eyessparkled, and her pleasing soul was filled with warmth beneath her heart.

Two decades flew by, forming this wonderful mature woman. One

day as she walked by the dark woods, she came upon a tower. It was

familiar to her.

That moment she realized that this was the same tower where she,

Tamara the royal princess met Abet. She was reborn. God had given heranother chance to fall in love with her Abet all over again. Every single

day, she hunted for her valiant life partner, and at last found him. They

got married, had five adorable kids, and lived happily ever after.

The end. said Tamara as she closed both sides of the fairytale

book shut.

Yay momma! They lived happily ever after, her five cute littlechildren spoke cheerfully.

Yes they did! Tamara added with a twinkle in her eye.

Slightly turning her head towards her mate Abet, she spoke:

This was the story off two lost souls that found their way back to

each other. Abet Gorgodian and Tamara Gorgodian. Even though my

happily ever after didnt turn out the way I planned, God gave us another

try. We both are free from all magic. No curses and no Jemma. But do

you know the best part about all off this; it was a lucky chance to fall in

love with you all over again. Tamara had tears in her eyes.


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Looking up at the sky with thoughts rumbling in her brain she

smiled as I thought, At least in the end whichever way and however, I

did get my fairy tale ending with one I imagined, Abet Gorgodian.

THE END.


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Trisha Sarang studies at the

American Embassy School of

New Delhi. She was born in New

Delhi, India itself. She has

lived in New Delhi for all herlife. Trisha Sarang is 12 years

old. This is her first folktale. She adores animals

and loves write to poems, and stories especially

unexpected ones. Her hobbies are to dance, sing

and write. If Trisha were to describe herself andwhat she likes in five words, she would say,

persistent, hardworking, yogurt, subway and

slushes. She also likes to write poems. One of her

poems called Believe in yourself was accepted

into the middle school magazine of the American

Embassy School, BANE (Beginnings and no ends).

Trisha Sarang has a blog on all the school stuff


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like poems, stories, research projects, activities,

and assignments she presents for all her classes.

To visit her blog go to;www.trsarang.msblogs.aes.ac.in .

In this story, I used ETM (Explode the moment).

To do this, I added more dramatical moments,

leaving the readers curious as to what will happen

next.

In this story, I used a lot of thought shots. To do

this, I made the character speak to herself and

added different points of views. I also tried

making the character think as she wrote in her

diary. Its something different, that I wanted to

try out.

In this story, I revised it to find mistakes,

sentence variety and the overall plot. To do this,
http://www.trsarang.msblogs.aes.ac.in/http://www.trsarang.msblogs.aes.ac.in/


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I read my folktale aloud many times. This helped

me spot places that could improve in terms of

grammatical issues and things that didnt make

sense. It also helped me see the different ways I

used to start my sentences. It all had to come in

a flow creating good change and use of sentence

variety. Lastly, it helped me view my wholefolktale as one story, finding places that could be

changed in the plot and also the overall impact.

These three tools gave a hand in editing my piece

and making it as sufficient and presentable as

possible.

Thanks to all these techniques, my folktale was

successful.


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Ananya Williams thinks:

You did a really good job on looks, for example:

His eyes so sharp, it felt like he sliced you

through. His hair not brushed in a while, and his

dress sense was so not in. White t-shirt with

baggy pants. Cuts bruises covered his body. Youdid a awesome job describing an ugly ogre.

You also did a awesome job on speech (there were

so many examples but I just chose this one: So

what if he is the king nothing will come in my way.

Tamara now be a good girl. Why dont you go andget some popcorn to enjoy the show. This shows

that Jemma is pretty darn mean haha!

I love the way you made Tamara think (thoughts):

I am back. I was saved not by a man but by an

ogre. His name was Abet. I just realized he was

not sent to rescue me, somehow he helped me.

The truth is that I love him. He cared a lot about


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me. When I was hurt, he cleared my wounds, and

when I was sad he would cheer me up. What a fun

loving person he was. I want to get married. Live

my life like an ogre, no matter whom he was, he

was just like me. I am going to tell mother and

father today, and find him as soon as possible.

This just shows that Tamara is really sweet and

she doesnt really care about looks, I dont knowthe exact word but I guess you made me feel like

she is sincere.

Overall you did an awesome job!

Noa Tagner thinks:

WOW! Awesome sensory details, its very

descriptive! Awesome similes Her face was

sloppy as goo, her nose was as crocked as a

broken ankle, and her voice was as screechy as a

loop sided microphone. She was cursed into an

ogre, DUN DUN DUN ! Creates a lot of tension.


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Michelle Tabor (Ms.Tabor) thinks:

Lots of sensory details and powerful imagery!

Great use of figurative language for poetic

effect.

Thanks peer editors, for the helpful feedback

and comments.

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