ROBIN HOOD Series Three, Episode Three Lost in Translation written by Ryan Craig directed by Alex Pillai This is not an official copy. This was typed up by a fan of the show strictly for personal enjoyment. CAST Robin Hood Jonas Armstrong Tuck David Harewood Sheriff of Nottingham Keith Allen Little John Gordon Kennedy Much Sam Troughton Allan A Dale Joe Armstrong Kate Joanne Froggatt Abbot David Hayman Rebecca Teresa Banham Tar Seller Matt Devere Guard #3 Ben O’Brien Lost in Translation 1
Transcript
ROBIN HOOD
Series Three, Episode Three
Lost in Translation
written by Ryan Craig
directed by Alex Pillai
This is not an official copy. This was typed up by a fan of the show strictly for personal enjoyment.
CASTRobin Hood Jonas Armstrong
Tuck David HarewoodSheriff of Nottingham Keith Allen
Little John Gordon KennedyMuch Sam Troughton
Allan A Dale Joe ArmstrongKate Joanne Froggatt
Abbot David HaymanRebecca Teresa Banham
Tar Seller Matt DevereGuard #3 Ben O’Brien
Lost in Translation 1
Scene OneRoad from London to Nottingham. Night.Thunder crashes as two outriders escort an enclosed wooden
coach with crosses painted on the sides, pulled by white horses. The coach rumbles down the rough road at speed.
Nottingham Castle. Courtyard.The outriders and coach enter through the main gate. A man in
a red cassock and skull cap steps briskly through the main doors of the castle.
GUARDAtten... tion!
The two guards on either side of the door snap to attention and a maid with a pitcher on a tray kneels as the holy man enters.
The Great Hall.The Sheriff paces impatiently along the table, on which lays a
large, at object covered by a red cloth. The upper doors open with a bang and the Sheriff turns around as lightning reveals the silhouette of the Abbot, who rests his hands on the railing of the balcony, visibly upset.
SHERIFFAbbot, where in hell have you been?
ABBOTRome! How dare you summon me to your quarters like a
common serf !
SHERIFFHolds his arms outstretched. My lord, I need you.
ABBOTAnd it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?
SHERIFFNo.
The Sheriff walks up the stairs and the Abbot walks down.
It’s too late for absolution.
They meet on the landing halfway.
You are the only one who can—
The Sheriff falls to his knees and desperately kisses the Abbot’s ring.
—who can help me now. Holds his forehead to the ring.
ABBOTIf you are truly willing to repent for all your sins—
SHERIFFNods, head still to the ring. I am.
ABBOT—then you must make your peace with God, my son, and
pray for his forgiveness.
The Sheriff opens his eyes wide and the Abbot swiftly takes his ringed hand away and continues downstairs. The Sheriff turns around and starts down the steps.
SHERIFFAh, well, you see, it’s not God I’m worried about. It’s
Prince John.
The Abbot stops as the Sheriff stops at the bottom of the stairs. The Abbot turns around and smiles.
ABBOTThen you really are in trouble.
SHERIFFHe already has Gisborne, and it’s anyone’s guess what
he’s doing with him.
ABBOTWell, knowing the Prince as I do, my advice is this: please
him.
SHERIFF“Please him”? Slowly advances towards the Abbot. What do
you think I’ve been doing all this time? Bats a banner hanging beside him. Weaving tapestries?!
The Sheriff stands face to face with the Abbot.
Look, I have to execute Hood within one month, otherwise I am horse meat!
ABBOTAnnoyed: Well, I really don’t see what you expect me do to
about Robin Hood. Now, I’ve had a very long journey. I need to return to my abbey. So, if there’s nothing else, I will bid you goodnight. Turns and starts up the stairs.
SHERIFFRaises his index nger. Not so fast, Abbot.
The Abbot stops and turns around.
You will assist me.
Lost in Translation 2
ABBOTChuckles. Why on earth would I do that?
SHERIFFMocks the Abbot’s chuckle and steps to the table. Because, I
know... grabs the red cloth on the table and pulls it off to reveal a large loose-leaf book... your little secret!
ABBOTUtterly horried: How— where did you get that?
SHERIFFOh, when I was looking for you at the abbey, I decided to
do a bit of nosing around.
ABBOTSo you think you can blackmail me?
SHERIFFNods. Hm, amazing, hm? How great men, no matter how
revered, always have some explosive little nugget hidden away, ready for someone like me to nd, hm? And as little nuggets go, [points to the book] this is as explosive as it gets. Tuts. Abbot, even I was shocked. Opens book.
ABBOTRushes over, angry. Now, you listen to me!
SHERIFFSlams book closed and roars: You listen to me! In Abbot’s face.
You will use all your power and your inuence, you will use the full might of the Church to help me nish off Robin Hood once and for all, otherwise it will be your head on the chopping block as well as mine. Got it?!
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
OPENING CREDITS
Scene TwoLocksley.Much, with a basket, leads Tuck and Robin, each with a sack
slung over his shoulder, down the hill into Locksley.
MUCHYou know this is my favourite thing. Turns around to face
Tuck and Robin, walking backwards. The handing out of parcels. Turns forward again. Being welcomed into the village like sons returning from battle. Breathes in delightedly. “ ’Tis better to give than to receive.” Stops, then turns to Tuck as the latter catches him up. You’re an educated man. Who said “ ’Tis better to give than to receive”?
TUCKOh, it’s nobody important. Just some carpenter from
Nazareth.
Robin chuckles.
MUCHOh, Him? Ha!
The trio reach the last rise and Robin stops, seeing movement. He puts his hand on Much’s shoulder and pushes him down.
ROBINGet down! Get down, get down!
Tuck ducks down with Robin and Much as the Sheriff rides into the village with several guards. The Abbot’s open coach enters from the opposite direction.
It’s the Sheriff.
The villagers, including Kate and Rebecca, gather around to see what the Sheriff wants. As the Abbot passes, Rebecca and Maggie kneel and cross themselves, then stand again, Rebecca with a bright smile. The coach stops and the Abbot stands inside with an unhappy look.
SHERIFFLast night, the Abbot of Kirklees came to me and asked
for my assistance.
Robin, Much and Tuck creep closer, hiding behind a fence.
It has come to pass, that Robin Hood and his gang of feral, unwashed pustules have stolen from the Church.
The Abbot looks bleak.
Lost in Translation 3
ROBINTurns his head to Much, confused: Eh? What’s he talking
about?
Much stares, bafed.
SHERIFFDismounts and walks among the villagers. I know... that you
know Robin Hood. I know that some of you have come to look upon him as a friend. Don’t be fooled. Since his return from his travels, Hood has become a satanic killer.
The Sheriff stands in Kate’s face.
And anybody harbouring him shall be damned to a heretic’s death at the stake...
The Sheriff turns to Rebecca, then takes Maggie’s hand.
...where their esh shall be charred from their bones. Steps into the middle of the village with Maggie. Now, the abbey is under my protection. I’ve thrown a cordon around it and tripled security, just in case... kneels down to Maggie... Hood tries to steal again. Puts his arm around Maggie’s shoulders. If this village does not assist me in capturing Robin Hood, then it shall be deemed infected with evil and it shall be wiped clean of every... living... creature.
Rebecca and Kate stand, shocked. The Abbot raises his left hand with his ring out, the bleak look still on his face. Maggie returns to Rebecca. The villagers cross themselves as the Abbot slowly sweeps his arm across at them all.
ABBOTBy the power invested in me by His Holiness, Pope
Celestine III, I issue this holy edict.
Tuck watches anxiously.
It’s every man, woman and child’s sacred duty to help bring the demon Robin Hood to justice.
Robin stares at the Abbot with intense eyes.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene ThreeSherwood Forest. Outlaws’ camp.
LITTLE JOHNPacing: This is bad. This is very bad. Faces Allan. This is
not good!
ALLANHey, it wasn’t me. I wasn’t anywhere near the abbey last
night.
LITTLE JOHNDon’t you understand? The Abbot has damned our souls
for ever!
MUCHStands. All right, all right! Less of the “for ever!” Why
would the Abbot do this?
TUCKSteps towards Robin. Only one way to nd out.
ROBINKnows what Tuck is thinking. No, no-no-no-no-no. Shakes
his head.
TUCKCome on, Robin, we have to confront the Abbot right
now, challenge him. We need to understand why he did this, what hold the Sheriff has over him.
ROBINIf we attack the abbey now, it’ll just conrm the Sheriff ’s
lies.
TUCKWell then, what do you suggest we do about it?
ROBINThinks for a moment. We go to the people.
TUCKScoffs: Oh!
ROBINWe go to the people and show them we’re still on their
side. We trust the people to make up their own minds.
TUCKRobin, the people fear and love the Church in equal
measure.
LITTLE JOHNTuck’s right. They will never believe us over the Abbot.
Lost in Translation 4
ROBINWell, we’ll see.
Tuck scoffs again. Allan watches him.
TUCKFlustered: I can’t understand this. This is one of the nest
scholars of his generation. He spent his—his entire life crusading for justice, searching for truth.
ROBINObviously there’s something more precious to him than
the truth.
TUCKYes! And I need to nd out what that is.
ROBINAnd I said we leave the abbey alone.
TUCKRobin, we need to nd—
ROBINInterrupts: Tuck, that’s my nal word.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Night.Tuck rises from his bed and steps over Much sleeping on the
oor by the re.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene FourKirklees Abbey. Night.Tuck walks among wooden crosses in the graveyard, holding
his iron-cross weapon. He stops and studies the edice and the guards surrounding it. He decides on the sewage tunnel, and wades through the water with his hand held under his nose from the stench.
Above, a guard drops his pants and sits on the privy, farting. Below, Tuck hears it and quickly steps aside as something drops into the water.
The guard returns to duty and Tuck climbs up the privy, peeking over the edge to be certain it’s clear.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Abbot’s quarters.The Abbot is sitting at his desk with his back to the door,
writing. He hears Tuck creeping in.
ABBOTI’m busy.
Tuck steps forward slowly. The Abbot continues to work unconcerned.
Labore est orare, my son. Always remember, work is prayer.
TUCKBene orasse est bene studuisse.
Tuck comes into the Abbot’s range of vision, looking at him and holding a sword out at him. The Abbot still does not react, but continues.
ABBOTI see. You are an assassin.
TUCKNo, no. Merely an inquisitor.
ABBOTYou presume I fear your blade.
TUCKI think you fear the Sheriff.
The Abbot’s face falls and he gives his full attention now to Tuck.
What hold does he has over you that you would damn a man like Robin Hood... a man of honour and justice...
ABBOTStands. My son, there are things going on here of such
Lost in Translation 5
magnitude, such complexity, as to be beyond your understanding.
TUCKScoffs. Try me.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Abbey sanctuary.The Abbot leads Tuck into the sanctuary. The altar is sur-
rounded by candles. Tuck follows with the sword, taking in his surroundings carefully. The Abbot stops at the front row of benches and turns around.
ABBOTOnce you see what is hidden here, you will understand
why I had to do this. You know me, my son...
The Abbot puts his hand to Tuck’s sword and pushes the blade aside.
Have faith in me again.
Tuck ponders, then sets down the sword on the bench as the Abbot walks briskly to the altar, where he bows and crosses himself. Tuck follows, then the Abbot stands, climbs a step and turns around.
Guards! Seize him!
Tuck quickly pulls his iron cross out from his belt as three guards surround him and the Abbot backs up to the altar. Tuck blocks a sword with the cross twice before twisting it aside and punching the guard. Tuck kicks a second guard in the stomach, then must engage the third. He pushes him aside and punches him. The rst stands up again and Tuck pushes him aside and hits him in the back with the cross. A fourth guard comes at Tuck with a halberd and Tuck is ready for him. He dodges the halberd twice, then kicks the guard’s foot out from under him. Tuck pulls out the end of his cross to turn it into the Kettenmorgenstern ail as two guards get up again. His swings the ball over his head several times and the guards are forced step back. Tuck catches the ball and blocks two guards coming at him from the same direction. He shoves one into the other as a third advances and a fourth gets up again. Tuck blocks a sword with the ail and kicks back another guard. Tuck blocks another sword with the chain, then wraps the chain around the guard’s neck, releases him and pushes him into another guard. Tuck turns to face a third who is charging at him. He grabs his sword arm, turns him around and pushes him to the oor. He kicks a fourth guard, bursts through two standing together, spinning a kick at one of them, then turns to face the one still standing, ducks the guard’s swing, then kicks him in the chest, cartwheels onto one
hand to kick him again, and springs back to his feet. At this point, four fresh guards run in, two with crossbows pointed at Tuck. They surround him, their swords pointing at his throat.
TUCKI came here to help you.
ABBOTNo-one can help me.
Tuck sighs.
Take him.
The guards shove Tuck forward.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 6
Scene FiveLocksley. The next morning.Much with a sack, Allan, Robin with a small overlled sack,
and Little John with a sack, walk into Locksley. The villagers watch them, staring.
MUCHShouldn’t we be looking for Tuck?
ALLANI don’t trust that monk.
ROBINHe can look after himself. We’ve important work here.
Much watches Maggie run to her mother’s side and tug on her skirt. Rebecca looks up from her raking and Maggie points to Robin. Rebecca hurries out to confront him.
REBECCAWhat are you doing here?
ROBINWe just wanted to make sure you’re provided for.
Robin hands her the small sack, lled with bread and vege-tables. Rebecca looks at it a moment, then throws it to the ground.
REBECCAI can’t accept it.
Allan and Robin glance down in confusion at the food.
And nor will anyone else.
ALLANAfter all we’ve done for you people?
Kate joins Rebecca.
All we’ve sacriced, and this is how you treat us, is it?
REBECCAAnd what about what I’ve sacriced? What we’re all
sacricing every day...
Robin hangs his head.
...while you and the Sheriff play out your little war games?
KATEWe can’t take the risk, Robin...
Robin looks up at Kate.
...not now the Church has branded you a heretic.
ALLANWith disbelief. Ah, come on. You don’t buy all that mumbo
jumbo, do ya?
Little John walks away.
REBECCAThe Abbot of Kirklees is a great man. He wouldn’t lie.
ROBINRebecca, the Sheriff is using the Abbot to frighten you.
KATEWell, it worked.
ROBINWell, then let us protect you!
REBECCAProtect us? Where was your protection when my boy
needed it?
Allan shifts uneasily. Much looks down.
ROBINYour boy died for justice... and truth. Shakes his head.
Don’t let that all go for nothing.
KATERobin, even you can’t take on the Church and win.
Little John comes running back.
LITTLE JOHNRobin, Sheriff ’s men.
KATEYou can’t be seen here. Quick, come on, get inside.
The gang run towards the hut.
MUCHto Rebecca: Go.
Much runs back for the sack of fallen food, picks it up and runs inside just as the Sheriff rides in with ten guards. Behind the next-to-last horse, Tuck jogs in, tied to the horse’s saddle by his hands.
REBECCARuns inside. Quickly! Goes to close the other door.
Lost in Translation 7
Little John peers out the bottom edge of the window. Robin has his back to the shutter beside it. Much and Allan stand behind Little John, who sees Tuck and sighs.
LITTLE JOHNWhispers: Robin.
Robin takes a very quick peek out the window and ducks back into place.
SHERIFFThis... is one of Hood’s men.
LITTLE JOHNSighs. Whispers back to Much and Allan: It’s Tuck.
SHERIFFLast night, he broke into the abbey.
Rebecca goes to the door, intent on turning Robin in. Kate stops her.
REBECCAWhat are you thinking?
KATEWe can’t just hand them over.
REBECCAThey’re heretics now. You’ll get us all killed.
KATEThey’ve been good to us. You can’t just see them hanged
or worse.
REBECCAKate, don’t be a fool. Don’t be like your brother.
The Sheriff continues his speech.
SHERIFF(This was once an honest man...)
LITTLE JOHNto Much: Ten. We can take them.
ROBINWe can’t save Tuck now. We go out there, the Sheriff will
know the people are sheltering us.
LITTLE JOHNHe’s still one of us.
ROBINWe are not going out there! He’s baiting us. We are not
playing the Sheriff ’s game. We stay put.
SHERIFFLook at him! Hm? Trapped, like a wild animal caught in a
snare.
The people stare.
Is this how you want to end up?
Rebecca looks at Kate, then angrily at Robin.
I’m your friend. Yes, I know, we’ve had hard times, but we will come through. Now...
Robin is silently fuming and thinking.
Who will help me capture Robin Hood? Hm?
The people continue to stare. Tuck sighs proudly.
Are you so blind that you cannot see? I am not your enemy; Hood is. I have not forsaken you, forsaken God; Hood has! If you do not assist me in the capture of Robin Hood, then things will only get worse. Beginning with our friend, here... who will be torn apart on the rack tomorrow.
Tuck sighs in fear.
And unless you want the same for yourselves and your loved ones, then you’d better come to your senses.
The Sheriff clicks at his horse and leaves the village. The guards follow. Tuck stands proudly, looking at the villagers, until the rope jerks his hands and he is forced to jog after the horses.
Little John stands, frustrated. Allan looks out the window after Tuck. Rebecca turns around, looks at Kate, and jerks her head towards the door. Kate slowly steps towards Robin.
KATEReluctantly: You’re no longer welcome here. And if any of
you come again, we’ll have no choice but to turn you in.
Robin looks down.
We have to protect ourselves now. Go... and stay gone.
Robin looks up at Kate.
For ever.
Robin nods, sighs, looks at his men and nods his head towards
Lost in Translation 8
the door.
ROBINLet’s go.
Little John opens the door and Allan steps out. Much bends down to pick up the sack and glances at Robin before taking one last look at Kate as Little John exits. Much leaves and Robin holds the door, looking sadly at Kate, then follows, pulling the door closed behind him.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene SixNottingham Castle. Dungeons.Tuck sits cross-legged on the oor, shackled, his back to the cell
door. The door opens and the Abbot enters. The door closes again.
ABBOTto guard: Leave us.
The guard leaves.
TUCKRemains seated. He’s sent you, hasn’t he?
ABBOTWhy is a man of learning prepared to sacrice himself for
a common thief ?
TUCKRobin Hood is the last hope for this country.
ABBOTAn outlaw? I don’t think so.
TUCKYou’ve seen the faces of these people. They’re crying out
for inspiration, for guidance.
ABBOTThe Church can offer people guidance.
TUCKThe Church is lying to them.
ABBOTUnless you give up Hood, Locksley is damned to death.
Women, children... the Sheriff will stop at nothing.
Tuck stands and turns to face the Abbot.
TUCKThere was a time when you would never let yourself be so
intimidated. When you would defend a pauper against a cardinal.
ABBOTYou may have no care for your own life, my son, but
surely... surely you don’t want innocents to die.
TUCKRoars: Why have you lost your stomach for the ght?!
ABBOTNot so, my son. Not so. I have simply chosen a different
battleground. Smiles.
Lost in Translation 9
TUCKAnd what battleground is that? I know you, Abbot. I
studied your writings when I was a boy. Your trans-lations of Aristotle, of Plato...
The Abbot frowns in anguish.
I followed your teachings like an apostle.
ABBOTUnless you give up Hood, there is nothing more I can do
for you. Turns his back to Tuck.
TUCKFervently: Your battleground has always been the words of
great men. Your mission, always to bring enlighten-ment to ordinary people. How has that changed?
ABBOTQuickly faces Tuck. Tuck... Tuck... some words are more
dangerous than others. Some words are deemed too holy to be translated.
TUCKStares wide eyed, realising what the Abbot is implying. Oh,
sweet heavens, no. No, no, it cannot be. The Holy Bible... in English? But the pope has decreed it remain in Latin!
ABBOTNow you see why I have to tread carefully. Breathes
heavily, steps forward, and unfurls a piece of parchment. Look... hands the parchment to Tuck... look, my son.
TUCKHolds the parchment and reads. “If I give all I possess to the
poor, and surrender my— ...body to the ames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” Looks up at the Abbot, bewildered. St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians.
ABBOTProudly: Ten years’ hard toil.
TUCKThis could change everything. Give the people the power
to interpret the will of God.
The Abbot nods.
It would be a revolution.
ABBOTWith a pained face: But I have to stop the Sheriff burning
my book.
TUCKSo this is why you are the Sheriff ’s slave.
ABBOTNods. He will destroy it unless I can make you betray
Hood.
Tuck hangs his head and the Abbot grabs his shoulders and Tuck looks up at him.
Join with me.
Tuck shakes his head.
TUCKI will never... betray him.
ABBOTFace falls. Then I fear for your life, my son.
The Abbot takes back the parchment and leaves.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 10
Scene SevenLocksley.The tar maker’s plot is scattered with tubs of tar, wagon wheels
and barrels. The gang sneak in amongst the debris. Robin makes his way around boiling vats to the tar maker as Allan and Much nd a place to keep watch.
ROBINHow much for two barrels of tar?
TAR SELLERSlightly exasperated, while stacking a barrel: You’ve got to
have a signed warrant from the Sheriff to purchase tar. Sets down the heavy barrel.
Much peeks out and sees Kate and her girlfriends.
ROBINGently: How much to make sure you and your family are
provided for? How about that?
MUCHto Allan: Will you cover for me?
ALLANWhere are you going?
Much glances at Kate, who is walking towards the manor. Allan smiles.
All right. Be careful though, yeah?
MUCHThanks.
Much turns to leave but Allan stops him.
ALLANOh, Much, don’t just stand there gawping this time, eh?
Say, erm, tell her she’s perfect. Women love to hear that sort of thing.
Much nods. Allan raises his eyebrows and smiles.
Manor courtyard.Kate is talking to a girlfriend when the housekeeper comes out
with a rake.
HOUSEKEEPERKate? Oh, there you are. Don’t forget your chores. Hands
a rake to Kate.
KATEAll right.
Much peeks at Kate around the corner.
to friend: I’ll speak to you later.
The friend takes her own rake and leaves. Kate starts to clean out the stable as Much comes out from around the corner behind her.
MUCHKate?
Kate turns around, startled.
I... have to talk to you.
Kate grabs Much’s hand and pulls him into the stable, out of sight.
KATEThe Sheriff ’s guards slaughtered all our animals, ’cause
we didn’t give up Robin.
MUCHI want to help you. I care about you... Kate.
KATEExasperated: Why are you doin’ this?
MUCHBecause... I think you’re perfect.
KATEPerfect?
Much nods.
Is that a joke?
MUCHShakes his head. Oh, I look at you and I want to...
Kate stares, waiting.
...protect you.
KATECan’t you see you’re just making things worse?
MUCHTilts his head side to side. Maybe. Well, I’m sorry. I can’t
help it. I’ve never—
KATEInterrupts: Look, nothing can ever happen between us.
Ever. Do you understand? You’re dirty, you smell,
Lost in Translation 11
and you’re trouble. The best thing you can do is just vanish.
Eight guards escort the Sheriff out the main gate into the marketplace. In the centre is a platform with Tuck tied to a rack, his shirt open. The Sheriff steps up onto the platform as a lone bell tolls.
SHERIFFBrother Tuck, for crimes against God, the Church and the
[sweeps his arms around to indicate the people] faithful of Nottingham, you are to be racked, drawn and quartered.
The executioner, a very fat man, steps forward, slides a small pointed dagger from his toolbag and runs his nger along the blunt side of the blade.
Beautiful day, hm? Almost makes you want to burst into song.
TUCKYou start off; I’ll harmonise.
SHERIFFOh, humour. Chuckles. Well, perhaps you need to know, my
favourite moment [reaches up, stretching, feigns a strained voice] of this delightful little procedure is when you hear the great big pop, pop, pop, pop.
[On each “pop,” feigns a joint dislocating.]
The people laugh; the Sheriff chuckles.
TUCKThis isn’t over, Sheriff !
SHERIFFOh, really, what? You think Hood is going to come and
rescue you, do you?
Tuck watches the executioner paint a white cross onto his abdomen.
Well, I don’t see him. Hm? Looks around. Singsong: Hood? Hoody, Hoody? Come out wherever you are!
From above and behind the Sheriff, a bowstring twangs and an arrow hisses through the air. The Sheriff turns around in time to see an arrow pierce the rope binding Tuck’s left arm. A second arrow immediately following cuts the right side rope.
Lost in Translation 12
Points above at the battlements. Hood!
Robin res off arrows in quick succession, shooting any guard heading towards the castle gate. Tuck pulls down with his arms and breaks the ropes, freeing his arms as the guards run for cover.
Back! Cowards, back! Kicks a guard as he runs past. Back!
The people hurry out of the way of the eeing guards as Allan runs up and unties Tuck’s left foot.
TUCKYou took your time!
ALLANStands up to face Tuck. We were a bit stretched.
TUCKWatch out!
Allan kicks a guard charging the platform as Tuck kicks another with his free left foot. Allan picks up the executioner’s toolbag and throws it at another guard, then pulls out his dual swords and fends off yet another, stabbing him.
The Sheriff pulls aside a guard with an arrow in his back.
SHERIFFWhere’s the second relief ?
The guard doesn’t answer. The Sheriff pulls out the arrow and kicks him away.
Allan and Tuck kick at more guards. The Sheriff, feeling someone is near, looks around and sees Little John beside him. The Sheriff looks up and sees Much sitting on Little John’s shoulders. Much dumps a small barrel of tar onto the Sheriff ’s head, then throws the barrel at an oncoming guard. Three more are heading for them. Much throws himself onto the trio, knocking them all to the ground. Little John kicks one trying to get up, then runs up a tilted cart “ramp” near a large barrel.
Sputtering: A cloth!
Tuck and Allan ght off a last guard each.
TUCKLet’s go!
Allan jumps off the platform and he and Tuck run. Little John rolls a barrel down the cart into some guards, knocking them down. The Sheriff tries to wipe the tar off his face. Little John rolls another barrel, dribbling a line of tar
from a hole in its top. Little John rolls another like barrel from another cart set up on the other side of the portcullis. It rolls across the path of the rst, creating an “X.” The Sheriff looks up at Robin on the battlements. Robin carefully pulls his bow up with a aming arrow nocked. The Sheriff gasps, seeing the cross of tar on the ground. Robin aims and lets loose an arrow to the centre of the cross. The tar ignites, separating the Sheriff from the castle. The Sheriff looks around wildly, then at Robin.
ROBINArms wide: I just thought I’d put the spark back into our
relationship, Sheriff !
The Sheriff growls. Robin waves at him, then disappears to climb down a rope inside the gate. He watches the re he created for a moment before making his escape into the stable area.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Nottingham Castle. Courtyard.The Sheriff, still messy with tar, goes up the steps to a line of
four guards standing by the door.
SHERIFFI thought I’d doubled the guard. Or did I just double the
incompetence? You’ve allowed Hood to escape again!
The guards stand still at attention.
You are more useless than Gisborne.
The Sheriff kicks the second guard in the groin. The guard doubles over and the Sheriff kicks him down the steps, then goes into the cloister where the Abbot awaits.
Tomorrow is St Barnabas’ Day. All the people will be in the abbey.
ABBOTYes.
SHERIFFPacing, thinking: We must give them something concrete,
something they can touch, feel, smell.
ABBOTThey don’t need to touch or feel God to believe. Turns
around.
SHERIFFIdiot. These people need to be frightened out of their
wits.
Lost in Translation 13
ABBOTChuckles. What on earth would you have me tell them?
That the hand of God will strike them down if they don’t help you capture Hood?
The Sheriff stops pacing, an idea forming. He puts his face close to the Abbot’s.
SHERIFFWhat did you just say?
The Abbot turns his head to look at the Sheriff, but does not repeat himself.
The hand of... oh! Oh! Oh, this is good. This is tremendous.
ABBOTFlatly: Divine inspiration?
SHERIFFOh, don’t give him the credit. No, no, no. This was all me.
The Sheriff walks toward the castle door, then stops.
I want every wretched villager from Locksley in the abbey tomorrow. I’ll give them a St Barnabas’ Day they’ll never forget. Walks quickly towards the guard crawling up the steps and kicks him down again.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene NineSherwood Forest. Outlaws’ camp.Much, Little John, Robin, Allan and Tuck enter the camp,
returning after Tuck’s rescue.
ROBINYou disobeyed me. Turns to face Tuck.
TUCKI had no choice.
ROBINTuck, we never act alone!
TUCKI had to nd out what hold the Sheriff had over the
Abbot!
ROBINShifts his feet. And did you?
TUCKOh, yes. Yes, I did.
ROBINWell?
TUCKThe Abbot has translated the Bible into English.
Robin is stunned.
MUCHThe Bible? ... in English?
TUCKNods. Yeah.
Robin ponders the news, turns around and sits.
MUCHOh, hang on, hang on. The Holy Bible?
Tuck smiles.
In English?
TUCKThat’s right. Yeah.
MUCHOh, Adam and Eve? ...The ood? ... Moses, in English?
TUCKYou catch on fast, don’t you? Puts hand on Much’s shoulder.
Lost in Translation 14
MUCHSighs. Well, loaves and shes, crucixion,
Little John grows impatient at Much.
resurrection? The nal judgement, all in English?
LITTLE JOHNMuch!
ALLANIs that even allowed?
LITTLE JOHNNo! It’s blasphemy!
TUCKNo, John, no! It’s progress. It’s taken him ten years and it
can enlighten a nation.
Little John scoffs loudly.
ROBINTuck, here.
Robin hands Tuck the water ask.
TUCKThank you, thank you. Drinks.
ROBINWe have to get the Abbot to reverse his edict against us.
TUCKThere’s a special service tomorrow morning.
MUCHSt Barnabas’ Day. Everyone will be there.
Robin turns and sits down again.
TUCKIncluding the Sheriff and his men.
Robin thinks.
ALLANSo we have to nd that Bible, right?
ROBINAllan, you go with Tuck.
ALLANNot happy but willing to obey. All right. Looks sceptically at
Tuck.
ROBINHe’s the only man who knows what to look for and you
know the castle better than anyone. When you nd the Bible, you bring it to us.
ALLANWhere?
ROBINThe abbey, Allan. If the Sheriff is using the Bible to make
the Abbot lie, it’s what we’ll use to make him tell the truth.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 15
Scene TenKirklees Abbey. Sanctuary. Night.The Abbot kneels in prayer in front of the altar, grasping the
cross round his neck.
ABBOTRequiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua...
MANFrom outside: Keep digging!
The Abbot stops his prayer, looks up and hears spades slicing into the earth. He rises, lets go of the cross and walks swiftly to the door. The door opens and the Abbot, with a lantern in hand, crosses the terrace to the railing and looks down on the scene below, horried, where men are digging up graves.
MANKeep digging! Faster!
ABBOTGasps. to himself: Oh, God. Dear Lord, no. Roars. Stop this
horror at once!
A man throws a corpse onto the ground.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Nottingham Castle. The Great Hall.The Abbot comes storming into the room.
ABBOTThey’re digging up graves now!
The Sheriff sits calmly by a re bowl with a goblet, a table with a large loose-leaf book next to him.
SHERIFFTold you it was tremendous, hm? Drains his goblet and sets
it down. Holy relics. Something they can touch and, er, feel and... don’t smell.
ABBOTConfused: Holy relics?
SHERIFFAh, the bones of St Luke, hm? Or more specically, the
hand of the great healer St Luke, kept for safety at Kirklees Abbey, hm? The precious treasure Hood was after. Sits back in the chair, smiles, then abruptly stands. The rst body we exhumed was no good. Funny really, you’ll like this. In life he was a thief. Had both his hands chopped off at [points to self] my orders. Chuckles.
ABBOTThis is heinous.
SHERIFFNods. Hm, I know. But there’s a kind of poetic irony about
it, don’t you think?
ABBOTNo more. I will no longer be your whipping boy. Turns
abruptly to leave.
SHERIFFAbbot!
The Abbot stops. The Sheriff raises a nger, then opens the book. The Abbot, horried, steps forward slowly. The Sheriff takes out a sheet of parchment and holds it up.
ABBOTPlease...
SHERIFFTomorrow morning... holds the parchment in the ames,
setting it are... you will preside—
ABBOTSeeing the ame take hold of the parchment. No!
SHERIFF—over the ceremony.
ABBOTCrosses self. In nomine vater...
SHERIFFYou will stand alone nodding... happily... holds up the
burning parchment... with your mouth tightly shut, agreeing with everything that I say, otherwise the rest of your Bible becomes toast!
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 16
Scene ElevenKirklees Abbey. Exterior. The next morning.The bells toll merrily as the people gather and enter the abbey’s
church, Kate, Rebecca and Maggie included. They are all wearing their best and some have owers in their hair.
In an exterior alcove, Little John, Much and Robin watch and wait.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene TwelveNottingham Castle. Sheriff ’s quarters.Tuck and Allan, dressed in plain brown monk’s robes, open the
door and enter the room. In their cages, the Sheriff ’s birds chirp. Allan gives a questioning look at Tuck.
TUCKIt’ll be big.
ALLANNods. Right.
They split up and start searching the room. Allan picks up a dirty and holey sack-like dress.
ALLANUgh.
Allan drops it quickly and something rattles. Tucks goes over to a trunk under the window and starts picking stuff up off the lid. Allan sees a smaller chest, opens it and closes it. He starts to check the things on the table and knocks off a silver plate, which clatters to the oor. Tuck turns to him, glaring. Allan makes an apologetic face and raises a hand, listening to see if they alerted the guards. Tuck opens the trunk.
TUCKAllan!
Allan holds up the lid of a large red crate as he looks back at Tuck, who pulls out a large book and lays it on the table as Allan comes over.
Awed: This is it. Looks at Allan. It’s the Bible.
Allan gives Tuck a moment to stare.
ALLANWe need to get a move on, Tuck. Slaps Tuck’s shoulder and
leaves.
TUCKYeah.
Tuck wants to follow, but his curiosity gets the better of him and he opens the book and starts to read.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 17
Scene ThirteenKirklees Abbey. Church. Interior.Young men in white robes and holding up large crosses lead the
Abbot down the centre aisle towards the altar as the monks sing Gregorian chant. The people cross themselves as the Abbot passes. He reaches the altar, kneels and starts a prayer.
ABBOTBeatae Mariae semper Virgini, Beato Michaeli Archan-
gelo, Beato Joanni Baptistae, Sanctis Apostolis—
SHERIFFTedii, tedium, te-di-ous. That’s quite enough of that
rubbish.
The Abbot looks at the Sheriff, who stands and addresses the congregation, his arms wide.
My children, I was once lost like you. Wretched, like you, wandering in the wilderness. But it was there, in the desert, crawling on my hands and knees like a dried crab... that I was guided... snaps... to a cave.
A white-robed boy brings over an ornate box.
And it was in that cave... opens box... that I found this. Puts his hand in. The hand of the divine physician... pulls out the corpse’s hand and raises it above his head... St Luke!
The people gasp, awed, kneel and cross themselves. The Sheriff lays the hand over the back of his and slowly walks down the aisle.
It was this hand that healed me. Healed me of my pain, guided me on the path to salvation, cleansed me of all my sins. Kisses the hand. Oh! Feigns a sob and turns around. And it was this holy artefact that Robin Hood and his gang of men tried so agrantly to steal, not once... winks at the Abbot... but twice! Faces the congregation. That is why Robin Hood and his gang attacked the brothers of Kirklees. That is why Hood sent in his thug Tuck to break into the abbey. And that is why Hood must burn at the stake!
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene FourteenNottingham Castle. Interior corridor.Tuck and Allan walk briskly down the hall. They see a guard
come around a corner.
ALLANWrong way.
Allan pulls Tuck back the other way, but more guards run in. Allan shoves Tuck.
Get the Bible to Robin!
Allan faces two guards coming at him, grabs the halberd of a guard and uses it to block the sword of the one next to him, then pushes the rst away. He draws his double swords, fends off a guard, steps back to readjust the grip on his swords, then blocks blows coming at him from either side. He ducks under a halberd and a sword as they are swung over his head, then slices into the swordsman. He kicks away a third guard, then deects and turns away a halberd before shoving his shoulder into the guard. Allan turns to a guard getting to his knees and slams his head into a column. He faces a swordsman, deects the blade and pushes him aside. Allan ducks to the side to avoid a halberd and retreats several steps to put the wall at his back. He blocks an overhead blow, then catches the man, losing his left sword in the process. He throws the man aside. Allan swings with his remaining sword at a guard, who catches Allan’s arm and throws him aside. Allan regains his balance, deects a halberd with his sword, twists it away with his free hand, and hits the guard on the head with his sword. Another guard catches Allan and punches him in the stomach. He puts his hand under Allan’s chin and pushes his back to the wall. Allan is surrounded.
GUARDLock down the castle! Search every room!
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 18
Scene FifteenKirklees Abbey. Church. Exterior.Little John and Robin wait at the corner of the abbey. Much
comes running.
MUCHNo sign of them.
Little John sighs.
ROBINThere’s no more time. I have to go in now.
LITTLE JOHNThis is suicide, Robin.
ROBINThere’s no other way. We have to go in there and show
we’re not afraid. If we blink now, the people will never believe in us again.
Little John sighs, frustrated.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Interior.The Sheriff walks down the aisle past Rebecca and Kate.
SHERIFFI did give you an ultimatum, hm? Do you remember? So...
where is he, eh? Hm? Where’s Robin Hood. Turns back towards the altar. I don’t see him.
Robin walks in, bow drawn and pointed at the Sheriff, with Little John and Much behind him.
ROBINThen open your eyes.
The people gasp, turn and look at Robin. The Sheriff turns around.
SHERIFFSarcastically: Oh, look, he’s come to save the village, how
noble. Steps slowly towards Robin with his arms outstretched. What are you going to do, Hood, hm? Are you going to kill me? Going to shoot me? And risk bringing down the wrath of Prince John on Nottingham? Well, I don’t think you really want that, do you?
ROBINNo. Lowers bow. No, I wouldn’t.
He looks at the people with his eyes and steps forward, Little
John and Much following.
Because I love Nottingham. I love its people. And I want to see them freed from your greed... stops... and your corruption.
Kate ponders Robin’s words.
SHERIFFAnd what about your greed... and your corruption, hm?
You attacked the abbey to try to steal the holy artefacts.
ROBINShakes his head. I didn’t.
The people murmur as guards le in behind Robin.
And nor did I tax these people till they bled. And brutalise them when they had nothing more to give.
SHERIFFPoints at Robin. Yes, but you did break into the abbey with
the intention of stealing the hand of St Luke! Strides quickly to the box with the hand.
ROBINFrustrated that the Sheriff is still trying to keep up the charade:
That is not the hand of St Luke!
SHERIFFPulls the hand out. Really? Kisses it and replaces it. Well,
pray tell... Points at the box... whose hand is it?
ROBINAsk the Abbot.
The people murmur. The Abbot has a defeated look.
Well, come on, Abbot. Tell them.
SHERIFFYes, come on, Abbot. Tell them.
ROBINThe truth is always the truth. Shakes his head. You can’t
change that with an edict.
SHERIFFPoints at the people. Yes, and they deserve to be told the
truth.
ROBINYou tell them now, and this is all over.
Lost in Translation 19
SHERIFFMumbles: It certainly will be.
ROBINIf you say that this relic is real, then three innocent men
will die. But if you deny it, those people must be released from your edict.
The Abbot stares, face blank, but eyes fearful. The Sheriff steps towards the Abbot.
SHERIFFQuietly: And your reputation will be ground into the dust.
The Abbot looks at the Sheriff.
And nothing you ever say or do will ever have any authority ever again. You will be nished. Steps behind the Abbot and puts his hands on the Abbot’s shoulders. Your choice.
ROBINAnd the choices we make at these moments dene us for
eternity.
Little John is silently willing the Abbot to choose in their favour. Much is waiting, his mouth slightly open.
ABBOTWith a pained face: I decree... by the holy power of the
Church, that this is the hand of the holy evangelist St Luke.
Robin can’t believe it. He bows his head, shaking it. Little John frowns. The people groan. The Abbot bows his head and crosses himself.
ROBINTuck was wrong about you.
SHERIFFPoints at Robin. Arrest those heretics!
Little John and Much turn to ght off the guards.
LITTLE JOHNArgh!
ROBINJohn, enough! to Much: Enough!
Little John knocks out a guard with his staff, then turns to Robin.
It’s over, John.
LITTLE JOHNWhat?! Roars: No!
ROBINGlaring at the Sheriff: It’s over.
Much can’t believe it. Kate tries not to cry, helpless to intervene. Robin stands, glaring at the Sheriff. Much raises his arms, and Robin glares a bit longer at the Sheriff, then hangs his head in defeat.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 20
Scene SixteenNottingham Castle. Courtyard.The Abbot watches sadly from the top of the small steps as a
guard supervises two men from town stacking thin logs against a platform, on which are ve poles. Tuck comes up behind him.
TUCKYour book...
The Abbot turns around.
It’s magnicent. I just wonder if the world is quite ready for it.
ABBOTTuck, this is no place for decent, educated men. Give me
my book!
Tuck turns around and walks to an iron grate with re and holds the book over it.
TUCK“If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body
to the ames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”
ABBOTRoars: What are you going to do?!
TUCKWho me? I’m going to burn this book.
ABBOTNo!
TUCKUnless you save Robin Hood!
ABBOTTuck! Don’t be a fool!
The Sheriff and the executioner have crept up behind Tuck.
SHERIFFYes, Tuck. Book burning, that’s my job.
More guards with crossbows appear on Tuck’s other side.
Politely: Book... please?
Tuck gives the book to the Sheriff, who shoves it at the executioner.
to Abbot: I shall be holding on to that until Robin Hood and his gang of maggots are reduced to ashes. to
guard: Oh... points to Tuck... stick him on the re with the rest of them.
The guards escort Tuck down the steps past the Abbot. Tuck glares at the Abbot as he passes him. The Sheriff puts his hand on the Abbot’s shoulder.
I win.
The Sheriff pats the Abbot’s shoulder. The Abbot shows his distress on his face.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 21
Scene SeventeenNottingham Castle. Courtyard.A crowd has gathered in the courtyard to watch the execution.
The Sheriff sits at the top of the steps with a goblet and one leg thrown over the arm of his chair. Guards lead in the prisoners from the stable area: Robin, Allan, Little John, Much and Tuck. The people throw rotten vegetables at them, chanting “Burn them!” Kate, Rebecca and Maggie are present, too, and Kate eagerly chants with the crowd as the prisoners are paraded around the back of the platform to the steps in the front. The Abbot reads from a small book in Latin.
ABBOT(Libera me, Domine,) ...de morte aeterna, in die illa
tremenda: Quando caeli—
The Abbot stops as the movement of Kate rushing at Robin catches his eye.
KATEHeretics! Devils! I trusted you!
Kate secretly presses a short, blunt triangular banner point into Robin’s hand, then slaps his face hard. Allan frowns at Kate. Rebecca pulls Kate back as Much defends them.
MUCHKate, please, it isn’t true!
Robin looks at the point in his hand, then winks at Kate. Kate winks back.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Later, the gang have been tied to the poles with their hands behind their backs. The Sheriff addresses the crowd while Robin saws with the blunt tool at his rope.
SHERIFFFor crimes against the Church, heretical (and blasphe-
mous obscenity...)
The Sheriff continues his speech while Robin saws.
ALLANCome on, Robin.
Robin gasps quietly as the blade slips against the rope.
SHERIFF...Robin Hood...
ROBINThe rope’s too thick. I can’t get through it.
SHERIFF...shall be burnt to a crisp! Chuckles.
Robin tries again and the point ips out of his hand and onto the platform.
MUCHWe’re toast! I knew it!
Little John and Tuck look back in dismay at the point lying on the platform.
SHERIFFLight the re.
The executioner steps forward with a torch. Little John pulls desperately at his ropes, roaring. The executioner puts the torch to the wood.
Wait! One moment.
The executioner pulls back the torch as the Sheriff comes down the steps.
Coming around the platform. Yes. He has offended the faithful, therefore the faithful must condemn him. The Abbot’s right. It’s the duty of every man, woman... stops, turns to Maggie... child... steps to Maggie... to destroy the heretic Robin Hood. Takes Maggie’s hand and pulls her in front of the platform. Now... bends down to Maggie. Are you ready, hm? To condemn the heretic? Whispers. Or be damned yourself, eh?
Robin looks anxiously down at Maggie. The Sheriff stands, chuckles, takes the torch and clears his throat.
to Maggie: Burn them.
Robin is devastated. The crowd is quiet, watching.
ROBINMaggie...
Maggie looks up at him.
Maggie, it’s all right. Just do it.
Maggie looks back at her mother and runs to her. Rebecca wraps her arms around her daughter. Robin leans his head back on the pole, relieved that little Maggie is free from performing the deed.
SHERIFFVery touching. Very sweet. Chuckles evilly as he puts the
Lost in Translation 22
torch to the wood. Steps around the platform, lighting the re. Look! I’m burning them! Laughs evilly.
The Abbot is clearly struggling with the choice between his ten years of work and doing what’s right.
Chanting: Burn them! Burn them!
The crowd take up the chant as the ames rise up. Robin looks down at the point at his feet. Kate watches helplessly. After several tense moments, the Abbot steps forward, raising his small book.
ABBOTEnough! People of Nottingham, you have been betrayed!
SHERIFFto guards: Stop him!
ABBOTHolds the cross round his neck out at the guards. Stay where
you are or your souls will be damned for ever.
The guards stop. The Sheriff glances back at them. When the Sheriff ’s back is turned, Robin pulls on his rope and it snaps. The Abbot walks along in front of the crowd.
You have been deceived.
Robin picks up the point.
That was not the hand of St Luke.
Robin passes the point to Allan.
ROBINHere you are.
ABBOTIt was a bone sacrilegiously disinterred from a peasant’s
grave. It was meant to deceive you.
Rebecca is visibly angry. Kate sees it and ashes her an “I told you so” look.
It was meant to control you. And I stand before you full of shame.
Allan passes the point to Much.
ROBINHurry up, Much.
ABBOTPoints to the Sheriff. This man is the true devil.
The crowd gasp.
He steals your hopes, he steals your souls.
Much passes the point to Little John.
He is the spawn of Satan.
The Sheriff glares at the Abbot.
SHERIFFQuietly to the Abbot, pointing at him: I warned you. I warned
you.
The Sheriff runs round the platform as Tuck breaks his rope.
ROBINIs everyone ready?
Much nods. The Sheriff grabs the Bible.
SHERIFFI warned you!
The Sheriff heaves the book into the re, then turns to go up the steps.
ROBINNow! Now!
The gang jump off the platform over the ames and run into the stable area. The people cheer and applaud. The Abbot stands by the platform, desperate to save his work.
ABBOTNo!
The Abbot tries to reach into the re for his book, but it’s too hot. The ames lick the pages, which start to curl black.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Lost in Translation 23
Scene EighteenSherwood Forest. Outlaws’ camp.Much is slowly turning a small pig on a spit.
MUCHI will never look at a pig on a spit in the same way ever
again.
Little John walks by him and pats him on the shoulder. Robin, sitting and thinking, chuckles a little. Little John hands Tuck a cup. Robin stands and raises his cup.
ROBINTo the Abbot. Looks at the gang and nods.
ROBIN/LITTLE JOHN/ALLAN/MUCH/TUCKTo the Abbot!
They all raise their cups and drink.
† † † † † † † † † † † † † † †
Scene NineteenSomewhere in France.Three nuns, hands together, walk past a table, at which sits a
monk in a simple black habit, holding a quill in his right hand and a charred piece of parchment in his left. It is the Abbot, recreating his translation.
ABBOT“In the beginning, God created the heaven [smiles] and
