Fixing Sentence Fixing Sentence ProblemsProblems

Check for Run-on and Rambling Check for Run-on and Rambling SentencesSentences

10/22/0910/22/09

AnnouncementAnnouncement Reminder: publishing party is tomorrow.Reminder: publishing party is tomorrow.

Bring food and bev!!Bring food and bev!!

Published piece: Published piece: – Cover page (w/title, your name and illustration)Cover page (w/title, your name and illustration)– Your Your final version final version (typed or hand-written on (typed or hand-written on

pub paper; pub paper; no pencilsno pencils!!), !!), – all your previous drafts all your previous drafts (part of the grade)(part of the grade)– construction paper as back cover construction paper as back cover

Things to Learn Today:Things to Learn Today:

What are What are run-on sentencesrun-on sentences?? What are What are RamblingsRamblings?? How do we fix them?How do we fix them?

Goal:Goal:

EliminateEliminate (get RID of) all Run-ons and (get RID of) all Run-ons and ramblings from our first published ramblings from our first published piece!!piece!!

– Unless you have good reasons to leave Unless you have good reasons to leave them there them there

– Ie: Dialogue; special effect Ie: Dialogue; special effect – Consult your writing partner or Ms. Tu (Ms. Consult your writing partner or Ms. Tu (Ms.

Campbell, Mr. Golubchick, Ms. Chin, etc.)Campbell, Mr. Golubchick, Ms. Chin, etc.)

Run-On SentencesRun-On Sentences

Two or more sentences that run Two or more sentences that run togethertogether

One popular example: One popular example: Comma Comma SpliceSplice!!– Sentences are connected (spliced Sentences are connected (spliced

together) with a comma (together) with a comma (,,) instead of a ) instead of a PERIOD. PERIOD.

Example of Run-onExample of Run-on

Run-on (comma Run-on (comma splice)splice)

The pet show was The pet show was funfun,, the crowd love the crowd love Jenn’s friendly dog, Jenn’s friendly dog, Brenna.Brenna.

CorrectedCorrected

The pet show was The pet show was funfun.. The crowd loved The crowd loved Jenn’s friendly dog, Jenn’s friendly dog, Brenna. Brenna.

The pet show was The pet show was funfun, and , and the crowd the crowd loved Jenn’s friendly loved Jenn’s friendly dog, Brenna.dog, Brenna.

Now you try…Now you try…

Run-onRun-on CorrectedCorrected- The last time I was The last time I was in Canada was when I in Canada was when I was in 3was in 3rdrd grade, it grade, it was Christmas.was Christmas.

- The last time I was - The last time I was in Canada was when I in Canada was when I was in 3was in 3rdrd grade grade.. It It was Christmas.was Christmas.

Now you try…Now you try…

Run-onRun-on CorrectedCorrected- It was an early It was an early summer morning, my summer morning, my mom and I marched mom and I marched to the backyard.to the backyard.

-It was an early It was an early summer morningsummer morning.. MMy y mom and I marched mom and I marched to the backyard. to the backyard.

RamblingRambling

Several sentences are connected Several sentences are connected with coordinating conjunctions such with coordinating conjunctions such as as andand, , oror, or , or butbut!!

Example of RamblingExample of Rambling

RamblingRambling

I knew that Maya’s I knew that Maya’s parrot would get an parrot would get an award and I also award and I also thought that Lem’s thought that Lem’s cat would win cat would win something but I was something but I was not so sure that not so sure that Jenn’s dog would do Jenn’s dog would do well.well.

CorrectedCorrected

I knew that Maya’s I knew that Maya’s parrot would get an parrot would get an awardaward, and , and I also I also thought that Lem’s thought that Lem’s cat would win cat would win somethingsomething.. I was not I was not so sure that Jenn’s so sure that Jenn’s dog would do well.dog would do well.

Now you try…Now you try…

RamblingRambling CorrectedCorrected-Tara’s monkey Tara’s monkey jumped on David’s jumped on David’s shoulder and his dog, shoulder and his dog, Kip, started barking Kip, started barking and the monkey and the monkey jumped on Kip’s back jumped on Kip’s back and Kip began to turn and Kip began to turn in circles trying to get in circles trying to get the monkey off his the monkey off his back.back.

- Tara’s monkey - Tara’s monkey jumped on David’s jumped on David’s shouldershoulder, and , and his his dog, Kip, started dog, Kip, started barkingbarking.. The monkey The monkey jumped on Kip’s jumped on Kip’s backback, and, and Kip began Kip began to turn in circles to turn in circles trying to get the trying to get the monkey off his back.monkey off his back.

So today and everyday..So today and everyday..

When you edit your writing,When you edit your writing,

Make sure you ELIMIATE run-on and Make sure you ELIMIATE run-on and rambling sentences before crossing rambling sentences before crossing out the last editing bubble (aka. out the last editing bubble (aka. SPACSPACSS). ).

NowNow……

Work on final editing. Work on final editing.

Eliminate all run-ons and ramblings!!!Eliminate all run-ons and ramblings!!!

Copy the story to the publishing paper. Copy the story to the publishing paper. You can also type it up You can also type it up at homeat home, but , but you will be responsible for printing out you will be responsible for printing out your piece and bringing it in!!your piece and bringing it in!!

NO PENCILS!!! NO PENCILS!!!

““I’m done.”I’m done.” Never say it! (or Ms. Tu gets mad.)Never say it! (or Ms. Tu gets mad.) Work on beautifying your cover.Work on beautifying your cover. Help your friend edit (do it silently or Help your friend edit (do it silently or

keep your voices very very low.)keep your voices very very low.) Add illustrations to the boxes on your Add illustrations to the boxes on your

pub. Paperpub. Paper Read independently (it’s not Friday Read independently (it’s not Friday

yet! No Manga/magz/games/riddles yet! No Manga/magz/games/riddles allowed!)allowed!)