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SELF-TAPE/AUDITIONPACKAGE
“CAVENDISH”AnewseriescreatedbyAndrewBush,MarkLittleandGarryCampbell!
Synopsis:Cavendishisahalfhourcomedyabouttwobickeringbrothersreturningtotheirhometowntotakecareoftheirgrumpyandailingfather,onlytocollidewiththestrangetownsfolkandtheirevenstranger
superstitions.
CHARACTERDESCRIPTION
RUTH[RUTH]50’s-60’s.Ruthisabeaconofpositivity.Deepdown,shebelievesthateveryoneisprettygoodandeverythingwillworkoutforthebest.Ifyouaskherwhyshebelievesthis,she’llhappilytellyouthatshelostherhusbandandchildinahousefire20yearsagoandnothingcangetworsethanthat.She’lltellyouthiswithabigsmileonherface,asifshe’stalkingabouttheweather,andifyou’reAndy,itwillchillyoutothebone.Ruthis,inasense,awitch,thoughshewouldn’tdescribeherselfassuch(“Idon’tthinkofmyselfasawitch,IjustthinkI’mintouchwithcertainnaturalfrequencies.Andtheotherwomeninmycovenwouldsaylikewise.”).Shebelievesinrunesandhealingcrystalsanddoeshavea“coven”shemeetswithmonthly,althoughtheymostlyjustdrinkwineandchatabouttheirlives,likeabookclub.RuthhasalwayslivedinCavendish.She’sknownRolliesincetheywerekidsbutonlyreallystarted“dating”him10yearsago.Sincethen,neitherofthemhasevermadeanyefforttodefineoradvancetheirrelationship.Inasmall,unexpressedway,Ruthwouldliketodoso,butshefigureseverythinghappensforareason.She’salsoreluctanttodiveintoany“formal”familysituationagainbecause,whilethedeathsofherhusbandandchildgaveherapositiveoutlookonlife,theyalsoscarredherdeeply.SowhenshefinallymovesinwithRollie(inseasonone)andasmallkitchenfirebreaksout,she’llbecomeconvincedthattheuniversewantshertostayaway.ThiswillforceRuthtoconfrontherpasttraumainawaysheneverhas.Itwillbeuncomfortable.Ruthbelievesinlovelanguages,readsself-helpbooks,makesherowntarotcardsandsellstincturesoutofthemuseumgiftshop,theherbsforwhichshebuysfromMolly.She’salsointopastlivesandbelievesshewasonceahunterinfeudalJapan.WhenRollieislaidupatthehospital,Ruthofferstosupplementthedoctors’“traditionalsurgerymethods”withher“moregem-basedapproach.”She’snotconfrontationalaboutit–shejustthinksbothapproachesarevalid.Shealsothinksthatsometimes,ifyouwantsomething,youjustneedtogetagroupofniceladiestodrawapentagramaroundasnakeandseewhathappens.SERIESLEAD*ThisrolewillbeunderOption.ThenumberofYearstobedeterminedatalaterdate**PLEASELETUSKNOWIFYOULIVEINPRINCEEDWARDISLAND,NOVASCOTIA,ORNEWBRUNSWICK!
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ActorInformationFormFullName: EmailAddress: Age:____________(fortalentunder18)DateofBirth: (talentunder18)Grade: Height: Country,CityandProvince/StateYouLiveIn: Citizenship: Parent'sName(s): Parent'sEmail: Parent'sCellNumber: Havetheyeveractedbefore(schoolplays,classes,etc)?Ifso,pleasespecify:Specialskills(Languagestheycanspeak,anythingextraspecialtheycando):Iftheyhaveanagent:Agentname: Agentcontact: (Iftheyhaveanagent,pleaseallowthemtosubmityourchild’sauditionpackage)
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They drive by a group of women who turn to stare at the car. The women range in age from teens to 70-year-olds and all of them have red hair in pigtails like Anne of Green Gables.
It’s creepy as hell.
EXT. ROLLIE’S MUSEUM - LATER3 3
Andy pulls up a dirt road and parks in front of a little roadside museum with a homemade sign that reads Rollie’s Museum Of The Strange And Uncanny.
MARKWow, it’s smaller than I remember.
ANDYWe were kids, Mark. But yes, it is small and pathetic.
MARKI didn’t say pathetic.
ANDYI’m saying pathetic.
A 50-something woman emerges from the museum. This is RUTH.
RUTHOh my goodness. Is that little Mark??
She rushes out to embrace Mark, kissing him on the cheek.
MARKHi! Who are you?
RUTHI’m Ruth. I’m your father’s-- I guess you’d say “partner.” (laughs) I remember you from when you were a little boy. You haven’t changed a bit.
MARKAww. Thanks, Ruth!
RUTHAnd who is your friend?
ANDYIt’s Andy, Ruth. Andrew.
Ruth doesn’t remember.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - Pilot Rewrite - 11/1/2018 4.
ANDY (CONT’D)I lived here for eight years. We used to come to your hardware store. I sang all those songs you liked.
RUTHHmm. Were you sort of...baldingback then?
ANDYI was EIGHT.
RUTHWell it’s nice to meet you, Andrew. And if you ever want help with your-
She indicates her hair.
RUTH (CONT’D)I’ve got a lovely root paste that occasionally works.
Andy smiles tightly.
RUTH (CONT’D)Well I suppose you’d like to see your father! Let me help you with these.
She grabs only Mark’s bags and leads the way inside.
MARK(beaming at Andy)
Thank you, Ruth.
Andy glares at him.
INT. ROLLIE’S MUSEUM - CONTINUOUS4 4
They enter the museum, which is small but packed with weird stuff like a mummy in a standing coffin, a bunch of taxidermied dogs, some oversized “dinosaur eggs,” a crystal ball, and a fetus in a vat of green goo.
Seated at the front desk is BRYN (15). She’s wearing a fedora and an anime t-shirt and working on her computer.
RUTHThis is my niece, Bryn. She helps out around the museum sometimes.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - Pilot Rewrite - 11/1/2018 5.
RUTHWell THAT wasn’t very good for your heart.
ROLLIELeave me alone.
Ruth tsk tsks.
RUTHRemember to drink your tincture.
She leaves the room.
MARKFeel better papa.
He kisses Rollie on the forehead and follows Ruth out.
INT. ROLLIE’S MUSEUM - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS6 6
Ruth closes the door quietly.
RUTHThat temper of his will be the death of him.
MARKSame with Andy. Although I guess it’s more of a bottled up rage that will just eat his stomach lining.
RUTHYou’ll be sleeping here in your old bedroom. Rollie kept it just the way it was.
Ruth opens the door to reveal a small room with a dusty bunk bed. The spaceship sheets look about 30 years old and have a thick layer of dust on them.
RUTH (CONT’D)The sheets are a little bit dusty. We can get some new ones when the stores open tomorrow.
MARKYeah, how come all the stores in town are closed today?
RUTHOh, it’s Beast Day.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - Pilot Rewrite - 11/1/2018 9.
MARKOhhh okay. What’s Beast Day?
RUTH(casual)
Oh, well, once a year, a beast emerges from the forest and searches for someone to consume. So everyone closes their stores and stays home to wait things out. I’ll get a dustpan.
She starts to leave but Mark stops her.
MARKWait, sorry. I’m so sorry. Do you think you could repeat what you just said?
RUTHOh every small town has its little quirks. There’s a beast that comes once a year... The library is haunted... The mayor killed his wife.
MARKSorry, these are...superstitions?
RUTHWell the mayor one definitely happened. He’s my cousin. I heard a lot about that at family gatherings. The others exist in the realm of “not 100% scientifically confirmed beliefs that we all stand by pretty strongly.” Need anything else?
MARKNo I’m good. Thanks.
She gives Mark a big smile and heads toward Bryn.
RUTHBryn, sweetie. Wanna help me bring some exhibits upstairs?
BRYNNo.
RUTH(cheerily)
Okay, just checking!
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - Pilot Rewrite - 11/1/2018 10.
MARKYou’re insane! I don’t need to read the books to know Gilbert’s a teenager! I mean, I’m a stretch, but you’re a middle-aged man!
ANDYI’m not middle-aged! Middle age is like 45!
MARKAnd you’re almost 40! That’s middle age. No one wants to see some leering, balding Future Gilbert, sweating while he tries to--
ANDYOkay fine! Fine! I don’t want to do the stupid play anyway. Let’s stop talking about this.
INT. ROLLIE’S HOSPITAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS4 4
They enter their dad’s hospital room to see Ruth frantically trying to revive Rollie.
RUTHOh my goodness. Rollie? Rollie wake up! Talk to me!
Andy and Mark panic.
ANDYWhat’s going on?? Is he okay?
RUTHHis heart suddenly stopped beating! I can’t revive him!
ANDYDid you call a doctor!??
He rushes to the door.
ANDY (CONT’D)Help! We need help in here!!
Behind him, Rollie and Ruth start to laugh.
ROLLIETake it easy, man.
Andy swings around to see he’s the butt of a morbid prank.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - 102 Rewrite - 11/1/2018 10.
ANDYWhat the hell!??
ROLLIELook how mad he is.
ANDYWhy would you do that!??
RUTHIt was your father’s idea. He has a dark sense of humor.
ROLLIEBlack as the night, baby!
They laugh. Mark laughs too. DR. DALAL pokes his head in from outside.
DR. DALALHeard some screaming from the down the hall. We need help or are we pranking our sons.
ROLLIEPranking our sons.
DR. DALALRoger that.
He leaves.
MARKThis hospital is refreshingly chill.
RUTHSo how have you boys been settling in?
MARKWell Andy and I just got offered parts in the upcoming Anne of Green Gables play.
RUTHOh that’s wonderful! Let me guess, you’re Gilbert?
MARK(looking at Andy)
Yes I am.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - 102 Rewrite - 11/1/2018 11.
RUTHOf course. Handsome face, lean build, your popularity with women, which I assume you have.
MARKYes I do.
RUTH(to Andy)
And you’re...Creepy Ted?
ANDYHow on Earth did you know that?
ROLLIEHey, that’s great! Creepy Ted’s a terrific part.
ANDYWell I’m not doing the play.
ROLLIEWhy not?? It sounds like a great opportunity.
ANDYWhat, to be some creep in the background while Mark plays a leading character he knows nothing about?
Mark freezes into an “actor stance” and points.
MARK(in a British accent)
Look out Anne! Here come the gables!
Ruth claps.
RUTHWonderful!
ANDYGilbert isn’t British.
RUTHJust think, the two of you are going to be in the play and you didn’t even audition. That’s fate. That’s the universe giving you a gift.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - 102 Rewrite - 11/1/2018 12.
MARKThat’s what I said!
ANDYThe universe doesn’t give gifts.
ROLLIEThe universe doesn’t give gifts!?? It’s the UNIVERSE, Andy! Hello!??
RUTHWell I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. And the Annes are a VERY interesting group. If nothing else, the experience might make for a neat article.
ANDYHmm...that’s not a bad point. It’d be no “History Of Wheat,” but as a slice of regional Canadiana, maybe...
MARKAlright! Hey, maybe you could sell it to Vice. “I Auditioned For An Anne Of Green Gables Play, Oh And Also I Did A Bunch Of Crack First.”
ANDYOkay let’s do it.
RUTHHey! That’s great!
ROLLIEYeah alright hooray or whatever.
ANDYBUT-- if at any point it gets TOO weird, we’re out, okay?
MARKOf course.
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - FARMHOUSE - EVENING5 5
Andy and Mark pull up to an old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere and see Beverley and over a dozen Annes gathered out front, dressed identically, waiting for them in silence.
Andy is terrified.
CAVENDISH - Bush & Little - 102 Rewrite - 11/1/2018 13.