Scientific WritingScientific Writing

Aaron WendelboeAaron WendelboeDavid M. ThompsonDavid M. Thompson

Faculty SeminarFaculty SeminarDepartment of Biostatistics and EpidemiologyDepartment of Biostatistics and Epidemiology

March 29, 2012March 29, 2012

Writing wellWriting well

• Consider sentence logicConsider sentence logic• Prefer the active voicePrefer the active voice• Use verbsUse verbs

moon.ouhsc.edu/dthompso/writing/write.htm

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Even professional writers trip over syntax, and make outrageous, if humorous, statements.

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The Wall Street Journal printed some bad news for aging athletes, who may misunderstand the negative social impact of their aquatic workouts:

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“According to a Johns Hopkins study, older men produce more deformed sperm, but they swim faster, passing on certain genetic abnormalities."

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Writing shouldn't be subjective, but that doesn’t excuse concealing the subject.

"Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and the troops have been withdrawn."

the first draft of a statement, prepared for release by the Allied commander, in case amphibious operations failed in Normandy (June 6, 1944)

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"Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops."

the second draft of Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower's statement.

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Eisenhower never released either draft.

Will, G. (1998). Bunts. New York: Scribner, p.127.

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"Prefer the active voice."

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Use verbs instead of nouns

Writers are more direct and concise when they use verbs instead of nouns or strings of nouns.

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ExamplesOne of the most significant toxicity reductions achieved in head and neck radiotherapy by the use of IMRT has been in the functional preservation of uninvolved salivary glands. The use of IMRT significantly reduced toxicity and preserved function in the uninvolved salivary glands [of patients undergoing radiotherapy of the head and neck].

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In the UK-vaccinated group, LF titer is, for the first time in a human population, significantly and independently predictive of in vitro neutralization. The UK-vaccinated group is the first human population in whom both LF and PA titers independently predict in vitro LT neutralization.

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The results obtained using the conservative alpha investing were different from both forward selection and aggressive alpha investing at each initial alpha wealth value.

Conservative alpha investing obtained, at each value for initial alpha wealth, results that differed from both forward selection and aggressive alpha investing.

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All participants completed an initial screening following a 10-hour overnight fast that began with attainment of informed written consent. Following a 10 hour overnight fast, participants completed an initial screening that began with attainment of written consent.

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According to a Johns Hopkins study, older men produce more deformed sperm, but they swim faster, passing on certain genetic abnormalities. According to a Johns Hopkins study, older men produce more deformed sperm which, because they swim faster, pass on certain genetic abnormalities.

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• Consider sentence logicConsider sentence logic• Prefer the active voicePrefer the active voice• Use verbsUse verbs

moon.ouhsc.edu/dthompso/writing/write.htm

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• No prior studies have examined the impact of the FDA boxed warning on the patient behavior of adhering with antidepressant medications. It is possible that patients remain off antidepressant due to the fear of increased suicidality, without informing their health care providers. In that case, patients’ behavior would be another independent contributing factor to unintended consequences that have been observed after the FDA boxed warning.

• No studies have examined FDA boxed warning’s impact on the patient adherence to antidepressant medications they have been prescribed. Some patients may stop taking prescribed antidepressant ,due to the fear of suicidal thoughts and behavior , without informing their health care providers. Such behavior would contribute to the unanticipated increase in suicide that has been observed after the FDA boxed warning.

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