Secret War IV

7/30/2019 Secret War IV

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At first I ran through the blackness, I ran and ran but it went on and on. Soon I couldnt go any further. I hadto come to a halt and look back. Much to my surprise there was nothing, just more black behind me.

I activated my powersword and readied it weakly, while trying to stop my insistent gasping. Just because Icouldnt see them didnt mean they werent there. Silently stalking me through the darkness.

For a long time I stood, glancing around like a madman to find some trace, any trace of them, theirabsence was more terrifying than if they were there.

Stop standing around!, my mind said. There isnt enough time for you to indulge your rampant paranoia!

I clenched my teeth, knowing it was the truth, but I seemed unable to make myself move, I was barelyable to even stand.

Think about this, you idiot, if they were really there theyd have killed you by now, keep moving, frig it!

What, what if theyre out there and just toying with me? I stammered.

Really? I really dont think they have the intellect to do that, do you?

Who knows, perhaps they do. Perhaps they actually do have the intellect and have been pretending to belike mindless beasts to trick me into that assumption so itd lull me into a false sense of security.Perhaps...

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps! Interrupted the voice. They, arent, there! Right now all your friends arefighting for their lives! They may be dying out there or even already dead! The more time you wastestanding around perhapsing like an idiot the more likely that Karmen will be dead, or Castella! Oreveryone! Get moving!

I closed my eyes and gripped my sword.

But!-

But nothing! Go!

I sighed and turned forward, anyone else mayve been lost there and then but my instinct carried meinnately on.

The voice was right, again Id hesitated, allowed myself give in, put my friends lives at risk. The darknesswas doing this, the first played on my fear, this on my paranoia.

Fear? Paranoia? Were they really that different?

I furrowed my brow, and limped on, but then a thought suddenly hit me.

Friends, Id just called them friends, by the Emperor how long has it been since Ive called anyone afriend?

How long? I didnt know I couldnt recall and even if I had was it as genuine as just then? Castella, Torris,Garrakson, Tresch, perhaps even Darrance and Vex. Friends.

And here I was just standing around of my pathetic insecurities when all their lives were on the line. Iclenched my teeth and furrowed my brow then burst into a sprint.

I emerged into the church, the abruptness of it causing me to stumble and almost lose my balance.

I was standing at the entrance, looking down the main aisle leading to the altar, the many rows of pewswere empty and the blood red light was in here too. The same crimson clouds covering the ceiling as the


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underhive outside. Strangely, despite the outward appearance of disrepair everything here seemed inpristine condition. Statues of various saints lined the walls, some in the attire of warriors, wearing armourof various makes, their weapons slung and sheathed. Some in the garments of civilians, some women,some men, but all were knelt in prayer.

Standing behind the altar was what I guessed to be the conduit. A thick, half a metre tall, black pillar thatlooked like it was made of marble. From its tip it spewed a swirling whirling mass of black and red thatintertwined into the air, like a hurricane.

You, you must be the conduit, I gasped and began to limp my way toward it but the slow mockingclapping made me stop in my tracks.

Well done, well done. He did say you would make it, said a figure as he stepped out of the shadows stillclapping slowly, mockingly.

He was tall, thin and lean and wore a flak jacket. His head was shaven and he smiled at me throughsickeningly sharpened teeth. Im impressed you managed to make it this far, young, mr, Kaltos. I didntbelieve him. I guess Ill never question anything he says ever again,

Feuilt?

The man grinned widely and bowed deeply why the one and only.

Sudden rage overtook me and with a roar I found myself charging down the long aisle with recklessabandon.

He smiled, swayed under my slash and spun sideward, out of reach of my blade.

Ohh mr Kaltos is that the way to greet the one who saved you?

Where is she you bastard! I snarled.

Who? Ohh you mean your little girlfriend, right? The Elandria girl? Why do you care? Shes now acorpse.

Bellowing out, I slid the distance and struck down my sword, but Feuilt backpedaled easily out the way.

Tsk, tsk so touchy.

You bastard, tell me where the hell she is, now! I roared.

Or what? sneered Feuilt. Youre going to continue waving your little sword about like a little girl? If you

really want to know, mr Kaltos. I dont actually know, the corpse was taken off world, into the warp, shesgone, long gone. Deal with it.

I looked at him, gaping like an idiot, taken off world? But, but why?

I dont know! He exclaimed. And if I did, do you seriously think Id tell you? My master wanted the corpsefrozen and somewhere other than Omnartus. Thats all I know and thats all youre going to get.

I clenched my jaw and glared at him balefully. This is all your fault you smug son of a bitch, I thought.

Oh thats right, said Feuilt. I almost forgot.

He suddenly moved and punched me hard in the face. I reeled back in pain then his kick smashed into myguts, causing me to bend double forward and briefly off my feet then collapsing to my knees, coughingand winded.

Thats ri ht, Im here to sto ou from destro in the Conduit, arent I? he said, and Im sorr mr Kaltos,


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you have fulfilled your purpose, now youre expendable. You can die.

From under his jacket, Feuilt drew a powerblade and activated it.

I slowly climbed to my feet and smiled, pointing my sword at him.

I still have a purpose, Feuilt, and thats why I won't die. Not here, not now then I turned and ran for thepillar.

My eyes widened and my teeth clenched as he was suddenly in front of me and slashing his powersword. Desperately I leaped away, the crackling blade, missing by me less than a millimeter. Feuiltfollowed on with a stab at my chest that I just managed to sidestep but was forced to block his third, avertical, downward cut.

He didnt pull back but applied pressure and quickly I found my arms buckling under his superior strengthand weight. I knew I couldnt hold out so kicked at his groin, forcing him to bound back.

Uh uh uh, he said. You already forgot what I said, didnt you? I said; Im here to stop you from destroyingthe Conduit, and that, you can die. I used the wrong word there I meant, you will die. So why cant youjust give up and make this easier for the both of us?

With a growl I lunged, cutting at his skull. Feuilt ducked then slid suddenly onto my side and scarcely Imanaged to parry his thrust. With a laugh Feuilt slashed, causing me to stumble clumsily out the way.

I stabbed back, but Feuilt parried it with ease and roundhouse kicked me in the back.

Staggering, gasping in pain I turned just in time to block his low horizontal slash then sway just out theway of his following thrust.

Clenching my teeth and swallowing back the bile rising in my mouth, I countered. Slicing my swordhorizontally at his legs. Feuilt only laughed and danced over it, then smashed away my next cut.

Undeterred, I carried on my offense, next slashing vertically upward which Feuilt back stepped. I followedwith a stab that he sidestepped, then a horizontal blow he ducked.

Feuilt slipped out the way of my front kick and spun into a lightning fast slash that forced me to lean backlike mad, luckily he was wielding a short blade, if it was just a few centimeters longer, I wouldve lost myhead.

He stabbed next and I parried, countering by cutting over his arms, toward his skull. Like water Feuiltweaved away but my blade barely missed. Id almost got the bastard.

I see you have some fight left, Attelus, said Feuilt, standing out of range, sounding almost genuinely

impressed.

I, I have fight as long I as still need to fight, I gasped.

Feuilt smirked, of course you do.

I readied my sword as all of a sudden, Feuilt charged, but was utterly unprepared as he abruptly kickedmy feet out from under me.

My back slammed hard against the stone floor, causing me gasp in pain and the world to spin.

Yet I still brought up my blade to stop Feuilts descending sword before it cleaved my head in half.

Sorry but It will take more than just fight to win, mr Kaltos, snarled Feuilt in my face as my shakingarms rapidly began buckle and give.


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Yes, I agreed, then spat bloody phlegm straight into his eye. But fight isnt all that I have left.

Feuilt screamed in agony and reeled off me, clutching at his face while I slowly clambered to my feet.

You bastard! he screamed. You frigging little bastard!

Just as I was up Feuilt was on me, attacking like a madman. My heart thundering I managed to backpeddle just out the way.

Roaring like a crazed animal he rallied and sliced down at my skull which I barely side stepped and hissword cut into the stone floor.

Sudden terror overtook me and from my side step I stumbled into a run. Running for the right side aisle.

Come back here you little frig stain! screamed Feuilt and he started after me. Come back so I can gutyou like a fish!

I made it to the aisle, turning right, the praying statues of the saints towering over me as I ran past them.

Laughing insanely while simply walking after me, Feuilt began to slash his power sword into each statueas he came to them, decapitating or slicing their torsos.

You keep running you little idiot, he snarled. Keep on running! Youll just make it easier for me! I can dothis all day! Keep running like the pathetic coward you are!

I slid to a stop and turned to face him, my jaw clenched and I gripped my swords hilt harder.

Oh! The boy has some balls after-

Feuilt was interrupted as I charged, stabbing my sword toward his face. He ducked and slashed out wildlyat my chest, a blow I back stepped and which wound up slashing straight through one of the pews.

Sending large shards of burnt wood in every direction.

Laughing like a maniac he parried my counter thrust and punched me in the face, sending me writhingback, dazed and hurt.

Desperately I hurled myself to the floor in a bid to dodge Feuilts inevitable follow on and clumsilyclambered toward the middle aisle.

I turned and watched as he approached me, grinning insanely from ear to ear and cutting chaotically intothe pews on his sides.

What the hell has come over you, I murmured as I climbed to my feet.

Nothing has come over me! he screamed, stopping his advance, throwing back his head and cacklingmaniacally. Nothing has come over me! This is me! The true me that Ive kept hidden for years! Oh howliberating to finally release myself from that prison. To be able to show the world who I truly am!

Youre insane, I growled, I couldnt keep this up for much longer. I could barely keep my feet as myknees constantly wanted to buckle from under me, every inch of me hurt like a bastard. I had toconstantly fight my churning stomach and the horrid need to vomit.

Am I? he exclaimed. Or am I the one who is truly sane? Master Edracian is going to change this world

Attelus. This universe, for the better! Hes going to destroy the primitive stupidity of the Imperium of manand replace it with a far greater one! One that knows its place! One that will worship the almighty gods ofchaos as it should! As humanity truly needs!

I spat on the floor, I dont know what the hell humanity truly needs, but it sure as hell doesnt need toworship chaos.


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Feuilt somehow grinned wider and pivoted his head to an almost unnatural angle, then the master is right,you truly are a fool who deserves to die.

The next millisecond he was sprinting and slashing. I weakly parried then stabbed back, but he simplyweaved out the way.

Feuilt struck, cutting down, a blow which I drunkenly stumbled away from.

He grinned, youre pathetic, he said then kicked me straight in the chest.

I flew for Emperor only knows how long, but it felt like forever. When I finally hit the ground I rolled, headover heels, finished on my front then my face smashed hard against the stone. Horrendous agonyspeared through my head and I saw stars. But despite being dazed and woozy I was able to quicklyrealise I no longer held my sword.

Fighting my weak, flimsy limbs I began to crawl to my feet as quickly as I could, glancing around insearch of my sword. All the while the laughing Feuilt slowly approached.

I finally found my sword, deactivated and lying amongst the bits of destroyed statues down the left sidepew.

Finding I didnt have even enough strength to stand. I began to slowly crawl toward it, blood running thickdown my face from my forehead into my eyes.

Still not giving up! Feuilt yelled. I swear by the ruinous powers, youre the most stubborn little worm Iveever met!

I made it to the end of the pew, and with numbed fingers grasped my sword. Using it as a lean to climbonto my knees.

Feuilt stood at the other end of the pew, shaking his head with contempt.

My master, the great Edracian, he knew you would make it here, he said as he started to walk. He knewyou would somehow scarper through all the daemons. Yet he ordered me, and only me to guard theConduit. Now, the only reason and the only I can think of was that he knew, he knew without a shadow ofa doubt that Id protect it, that I would win! That I was superior to you in every conceivable way!

I really wanted to say, perhaps he thought you were expendable, but wisely refrained.

If only you could see yourself! he roared. Battered, beaten, exhausted! Pathetic! You wouldnt stand achance against me even at full strength! Youre nothing! Nothing! Give up! What can you possibly, do!

Improvise, I hissed and desperately threw the piece of statue Id been holding behind my back.

It hit him right between the eyes with a sickening, crack! Immediately I was running. While Feuilt wasscreaming, rocking back in pain, I impaled him through the chest.

Feuilt gasped, his eyes widened with shock and surprise.

With one tug, I tore out my sword and Feuilt collapsed limply to his knees. His sword falling from his graspand clattered onto the floor.

I picked up his sword and started to stagger toward the Conduit.

You really are your fathers son, coughed Feuilt, which caused me to stop in my tracks, my eyes widewith surprise.


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What? I stammered, you know my father?

Feuilt gurgled out what sounded like laughter, of course, everyone in our line of work knows SergharKaltos. But most only know of Serghar Kaltos. I knew him, he, he.

Feuilt was interrupted by a coughing fit and I could see blood splattering onto the floor in front of him.

Your father, Serghar Kaltos he taught me everything I know.

I stood shocked, unable come up with a coherent reply.

Now I understand why Edracian made me guard the Conduit alone. I now see, why. Attelus you must seeInquisitor Edracian isnt, isnt what he seems to be, hes, not what you think, hes, hes...

Feuilt never got to finish his sentence as suddenly he went completely limp and fell onto his face.

I stood for a few seconds, trying to process Feuilts words. Was he lying? Perhaps, but something in mejust knew he was telling the truth.

Shaking away the confusion. I turned and approached the Conduit. Feeling in any second Id collapse andlose consciousness.

I activated Feuilts powersword and with all my remaining strength, struck the stone. Feuilts blade cutthrough it with surprising ease. The black and red hurricane flickered a few times then disappearedcompletely and the blood light with it.

I dropped to my knees and smiled, then fell onto my side while my tired eyes flickered open and shutrepeatedly.

You owe me you bastards, I said, then everything went black.

My eyes almost immediately opened and I was met by a blinding light right in my eyes which caused meto squint and raise my forearm to cover my face. Warmth suddenly flooded my limbs and the pain of myinjuries was gone. Then I heard the sound of singing birds the very familiar sound of a particular bird that Ihavent heard in.

I suddenly sat up straight as the realisation hit me, finding myself in the familiar backyard of a very familiarhouse. On my left was a small, one story building made of plaster boards which was painted a welcomewhite and the roof; corrugated, grey painted metal. A trench was dug into the bank which weaved aroundthe house like a pathway. The yard sloped slightly with the hill and was about a good seven or eightmetres wide before it finished into the thick bush that covered the valley all around.

This was my old home, the place I lived in northern Velrosia as a child before moving south to Varander.By the Emperor I missed this place sometimes, back when life was simpler. For me anyway, now I knewthat my father was struggling, barely scraping enough money to pay the rent, to survive. My father hadvery few skills outside of killing but one, he worked as a house painter, an excellent painter but wasunderpaid, that was one of the many reasons why hed left me with my mother when I was a toddler, sohe could support us with his far better income from his assassinations.

This was until he came back when I was four and found.

I shuddered, I didnt ever want to remember that. There was a good reason why my mother and I didnt

get along and it wasnt just because of our opposing ideologies.

The sound of soft footsteps approaching my back made me suddenly straighten, turn, reach for mysheathed sword and stand.

The Eldar, Faleaseen towered over me, still in her esoteric form fitting armour but her helmet was off now,


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showing her attractive, thin face, her large eyes gazing down at me with amusement, her thin lips curledin a contemptuous, slight smile.

Oh, I said, but not moving out of my combat stance and keeping my hand on my sword. Its you.

Faleaseen frowned, I searched your memories for a place you held dear and thought I would reward yourefforts with it. You do not sound terribly appreciative.

I frowned back, the way she said it was like a owner giving a small treat to their pet canine.

Uhh, thanks, I sighed and sat back down. Strangely feeling the need to meditate, even though Id nevermeditated in my life. This place made me feel extraordinarily at peace. It wasnt my backyard but anextremely idealised version, I knew. Id always remembered it to almost always be overcast or a cold windblowing, very rarely would there be a perfect day like this.

I dont need a reward, I said as I reached into my jacket for my Lhos. What I need, is to know whethermy friends have survived.

Quickly, I found my Lhos were still gone and grinned guiltily up at the Farseer. Uhh maybe one, rewardwould be good.

The Farseer groaned and with a wave, a packet of Lhos was abruptly in my grasp.

And uhh a light too, would be good.

With another groan and wave of her hand, I had a lighter.

Thanks, I said genuinely, then with finger and thumb, slipped a Lho between my teeth and lit it. Took avery long inhale then exhaled with great relish.

What is the saying that you Monkeigh have? said Faleaseen. Simple things...

For simple minds yes, yes, I know, I know, I said, blowing out more smoke and enjoying the warmth inmy lungs. You got any idea what happened to my friends?

Yes I do but not as of right now, replied Faleaseen and I could detect an undercurrent of anger in hertone. Or was it frustration? Which was interesting.

I am limited at this point in time, she said and I waited for her to continue her sentence, but she didnt.

Limited?

Yes, limited, human, you do not need to know more.

Of course I dont, I sighed, inhaled again then exhaled and shrugged to myself, well I was human now. Iguessed that was better than Monkeigh, which now I thought about it, sounded somewhat similar tomonkey.

Faleaseen ignoured my sarcasm or didnt seem to notice it and began to pace in front of me, her handsclasped behind her back.

You are aware this is far from over, Monkeigh? she said.

I sighed out smoke again, well I was back to being Monkeigh now.

I never thought it wasnt, Edracian is still out there, somewhere, Feuilt was only a lacky. Which interestedme.


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Why? Because Inquisitor Edracian did not have more forces to guard the conduit? Said Faleaseen.

Hmm, yess, I said my finger and thumb stroking my thin chin. Youd think something so important wouldbe much more guarded, wouldnt you?

Unless it was not actually that important, said Faleaseen. What if it was not that important to the largerscheme?

Or perhaps, perhaps he just underestimated us? I suggested. Let his ego get the better of him?

The farseers face scrunched in contempt and she shook her head.

I am utterly sure that is not the case. A useless suggestion.

What? Why?

It is no matter, it just is, Monkeigh.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my closed eyes. Remembering the conversation Id heard between theFarseer and Glaitis while asleep. Glaitis frustration was incredibly uncharacteristic and now I understoodwhy.

Okay, Im sorry, I just thought itd be a potentially plausible explanation.

Well it is not, now move on, Monkeigh.

Okay, okay, can I ask you a question?

It depends upon the question.

I waited for her to tell me to ask it, but Faleaseen just stared down at me.

I sighed yet again and asked anyway; what exactly did you do to my body?

I replaced your pathetic, broken bone structure with a material my people call, Wraithbone. Many, manycycles ago I was once quite the Bonesinger. I had travelled a long way through the webway to save yourinsignificant little life. You should appreciate what I did more.

Exhaling more smoke, I glared at her.

But why?

Why? I would rather risk you and your entire race, than me and any one of my fellow Eldar. Thats whatyou Monkeigh are, simply tools, tools for us to exploit. Let us say that your enemy, Inquisitor Edracian ismy enemy also.

I clenched my jaw and shook my head, so Im again, just a tool, a slave of this, Farseer. Ive just tradedone master for another? Faleaseen, she mustve placed something in me thatd make sure Id becompletely obedient to her. The old axiom the enemy of my enemy is my friend, was true until thatoriginal enemy was defeated and then what?

I have foreseen what may happen if the Inquisitors plans come into fruition, my Craftworld will beaffected by it, but if my people directly intervened, it would cause worse destruction beyond your furthest

imagination. That is why I am using you and Glaitis as my agents.

So, if you can foresee so far forward, why did you let us get caught off guard? I growled.

Faleaseen sneered with disgust, because my sight is blocked, I have followed your fates countless times


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and I can only see yours up to your confrontation with the Elandria girl, everything else is a blank.

I barely held back a smile, I could see her frustration and anger as clear as day. Shed been outmaneuvered by Edracian as well. Being outdone by a simple Monkeigh mustve hit her ego hard.

Faleaseen studied me with a furrowed brow and I wondered if she was reading my every thought.

Shrugging I said, do you know exactly what Edracians plans are?

The Farseer closed her large eyes and breathed deeply through her nose.

Again, I do not know. All that I can ascertain is that he is collecting souls. Billions of Monkeigh souls fromthe planets he has destroyed, to a place that I cannot find. For a purpose that could be countless inpotential.

My eyes widened; souls?

Indeed, that is yet another reason why I am keeping my warriors from direct intervention as I fear theconsequences if he got hold of any Eldar soul stones.

I frowned, I didnt really believe in souls Id always figured when we died, thered be nothing butblackness. Despite what the church taught us.

For you MonKeigh, it is most certainly blackness, said Faleaseen suddenly, making me blink. Yoursouls are too weak to endure long in the warp before losing conscious thought entirely. Us Eldar canendure, but, for, but for.

Faleaseen trailed off and glanced around almost guility, but I will not say anything more on that subject.

Well this was different, the secret of life after death, a mystery that mankind has been searching for, forcountless upon countless generations revealed to me by this Farseer as simply as a scholar teacher

stating how to properly pronounce the vowels of low gothic to five year olds. Of course she could easilybe lying.

Faleaseen just smirked.

Do you know whats happening? I asked. I mean to me, in the real world?

She rolled her eyes and sighed, of course I do, you are being transported via vehicle back to that puppetTarysts tower. I am speeding up your metabolism to make your body heal faster. Soon the main conflictwill arise and I will need you amongst it.

Y-you can do that?

She smiled, I can do much to you. Wraithbone is a psycho conductive material, you are, effectively, aconduit for my psychic power and only my psychic power. Which I can use on you when even thousandsof light years away. This is why I am able to talk with you now.

Can you tell me whos alive? What about Karmen? Is she okay?

The Karmen woman is okay, if that gives you any solace. She is searching for the source of the psykershe battled. That may be where Inquisitor Edracian is located.

I sighed with distinct relief, then my suspicious attention shot back to her.

How do you know all this?

Faleaseen sighed, I guess I should tell you this, as you may need to know, Karmen Kons is also one ofm a ents.


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I gaped, my eyes widened, and my heart sank, but quickly everything began to make sense, the how andwhy Karmen knew what she knew. But why didnt she tell me? Why did she lie to me?

Does-does Glaitis know that Karmen works for you?

No, she does not the reason why Glaitis did not kill Karmen Kons when she had the chance wasbecause I ordered her not to. I foresaw the one called Estella Eriths involvement in the events leading to

this and made sure she was here at the right time. She was once a member of an Inquisitors retinue butmy warriors and I ambushed them during one of their missions. Killed her comrades and I took her in.Taught her the true strengths of her psychic potential, then placed her under Tarysts employee. If only Iforesaw the Feuilts betrayal, or your kidnapping then this would not have come to pass.

There, there really is no such thing as coincidence, I gasped, wondering just how much of my life theFarseer had influenced behind the scenes.

Wise words, I will concede, said Faleaseen.

A wise Axiom, Id say, I said while sighing out more smoke. Especially for me.

Faleaseen smiled, indeed so.

Quickly I climbed to my feet, flicked away the stub of my Lho stick, slipped my hands into their pocketsthen walked passed Faleaseen and looked around.

Well, Ive gotta say you did a bloody good job of recreating my old home, I said.

Of course I did, said Faleaseen. Would you expect anything less from me?

I dont pretend to ever know what to expect from you, I said and clutched my hands behind my back.

To my complete surprise Faleaseen suddenly burst out in laughter.

Perhaps, perhaps there is hope for you yet, Attelus Kaltos.

I wasnt sure what to make of that comment.

You wouldnt know who else made it? I said.

Despite everything, everyone you know survived, said Faleaseen. The main casualties were thecriminals under Brutis Bones and the Magistratum agents under Arlathan Karkin, only a very few survived,less than a fourth of their original numbers.

As much as I was glad to hear that my friends were all okay. Those Hammers, Magistratum enforcerswere innocent, they didnt deserve the fates dealt to them.

Do not feel sorry for them, they are mere insects, nothing more.

I glared over my shoulder at her, disgusted, yet unsurprised.

Faleaseen sighed, there are billions of Monkeigh infesting the galaxy, losing another thousand or a millionmore is not going to make any difference. They are dead there is nothing left you can do for them, moveon. You have much more to go through before this is finished.

Do you have any compassion? I asked earnestly. Dont you feel a little bit sorry for those people?

No I do not, stated Faleaseen coldly. All things die eventually, without exception. Those killed by thedaemons would have died later under some other circumstance at a later date no matter what you do.


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They were destined to die and be pointless in the larger scheme of fate. Be grateful you are not one ofthem.

I sighed yet again and placed the palm of my hand on my face.

Yeah, well now Im exceptionally grateful, I said. I couldnt be anymore grateful, in fact Im so grateful if Iwas anymore grateful Id explode. Thats how truly, greatly grateful I am.

I am not unaware of sarcasm, Monkeigh.

I never thought you were, farseer, I snapped.

Faleaseen shook her head and folded her arms across her chest.

You should be grateful because you lived over them, you survived to be able to stop more of your kindfrom dying. Not one of them were as capable as you for stopping Edracians plans, said Faleaseen.

What? I said with a shrug. You stroking my ego now?

No, Attelus Kaltos, said Faleaseen. I am stating the truth, an irrefutable fact.

What makes me so special? Im not any better than any of them, any human is capable of doing greatthings and who knows? Perhaps if I died and someone had taken my place, any one of those Hammersthey mayve done a far better job? Perhaps Edracian would be dead and this whole debacle over monthsago?

Now you are just speaking rubbish, I have foreseen...

But you havent foreseen crap! I interrupted. You admitted something is blocking your farsight anyfurther! So how do you know!

It is because I am here to guide you and without my direct guidance no one would have a chance.

Direct guidance, bull shit! I snapped. You havent guided me through crap!

Faleaseen just smiled.

Then it hit me, wait, that wasnt Karmen helping me, it was you wasnt it?

Yes, it was me, I thought at the time you would be more willing to do it if it was her.

I clenched my jaw and bawled my hands into fists as anger raged through me.

Yes, I deceived you, you should be used to that by now, but if I had not you wouldnt be alive now, deadalong with those pathetic beings you care so much for, what is that saying? The ends justifies themeans. I would certainly say it did in this case.

I bet youd say it would in every case, I replied.

Faleaseen laughed again and smiled, you are truly an entertaining little Monkeigh, are you not?

So what now? I sighed.

Karmen will return, soon with the information needed,

You think shell succeed?

She will, her skills are beyond that of a normal human psyker, said Faleaseen. I have taught her


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everything she knows.

I frowned and my attention fell to the ground. Hoping like hell that the Farseer was right.

Any other questions?

No, I said and shook my head. Just please, please dont pretend to be Karmen like that ever again. I willdo whatever you tell me, just dont deceive me like that. Ive already been tricked and manipulated in mylife enough.

Faleaseen smiled, I understand, Attelus Kaltos. I will, from henceforth refrain from such manipulations. Iwill just resort to psychic torture to get you to do what I want.

I looked at her with wide, terrified eyes.

Faleaseen bellowed out laughter, I am joking! I am joking! Do not look so scared! Anyway I think it is timefor your awakening!

Almost immediately the bush, the valley around me began to phase away into white.

Her joking didnt give me any comfort, no comfort at all.

With an abrupt gasp of air, I awoke and glanced about, finding myself strapped down to a gurney in amedicae vehicle. Karmen lay on another gurney next to me, her face still bandaged and to my relief herchest was rising and falling as she breathed.

Youre awake, came a voice behind me and I craned my neck to up to see the medicae who worked forBrutis Bones. The old man stood near the door to the drivers area, holding onto the side table to keep hisfeet. Id already forgotten his name.

Well, yes. I am aware of that, I said while moving in my bonds as best as I could. Finding there was noaches or pains, or anything, I was fine.

I cannot do this often, Monkeigh, Faleaseens voice cut through my thoughts. Healing you and directlycommunicating with you. Takes too much of my energy. Im afraid I must leave you, for now.

I sniffed loudly and frowned, not at all upset about her departure. Assuming of course she wasnt lying andwas now just watching me, to see what Id do when thinking she wasnt. There were many, manyquestions left unanswered with the meeting I had with her. In fact Id say itd caused more than before.Much, much more.

The medicae smiled and shook his head, yes, yes Im sure you are. Please, please dont struggle somuch, your injuries...

Are fine, I interrupted. Im fine, can you tell me whats going on?

Im not sure, from what I know it seems Brutis Bones and one of your colleagues have brokered analliance and as we speak we are travelling to Tarysts tower, said the medicaes. I was told that you havea proper medical facility where I could treat you and the woman properly.

There is, but Im fine, I swear, I said. Now can you let free?

Without any word the medicae suddenly approached, pulled out a small medical auspex and scanned meover.

Hmm, then he looked at my hands. I still wore the torn, destroyed gloves but the blood had dried and thewounds, closed.


13/55

I-I dont quite understand, how did you heal so quickly?

I dont know, I whined, I was starting to feel anxious now. Can you let me free, please?

I have never seen anything like this before, said the medicae, seemingly ignoring me. Maybe I shouldrun a few tests.

Let me out! I roared, struggling harder against the restraints and began hyperventilate with panic. Let

me out now you son of a bitch! I roared.

You must understand, young mr Kaltos that Ive never seen this before. Its unnatural, youre unnatural.

A cold shiver of fear crept up my spine as his use of mr Kaltos reminded me unnervingly of Feuilt.

I am a medicae, and as a medicae it is my duty to decipher and understand human anatomy. It is alsomy duty to find any mutation, any deviance in our genetic structure and to find out in great detail, the howand why. And then whether this deviation is potentially a threat to the Imperium of mankind and believeme, according to the teachings it almost always is.

I looked up at him, wide eyed, so? What? Youre just going to cut me open now!

The medicae frowned shook his head then much to my surprise, suddenly opened my restraints.

No, no I am not, he sighed. I was told about what you did, what you went through to stop the daemons. Icould also tell after examining your injuries. I owe you, we all owe you, I will spare you in exchange for that.I will also not inform Inquisitor Tybalt of your unnatural healing. Im sorry I lead you on like that but I neededyou to know how hard this is for me.

I sat up on the gurney, th-thank you.

The relief I felt was beyond belief, this medicae was putting his life on the line to protect me and I couldnteven remember his name.

Yet still I had these thoughts in the back of my mind; he was going to tell someone eventually anyway,whether it was through interrogation or some other circumstance. Perhaps the best thing I could do wasto arrange for him to have an accident, make sure hed never tell.

I clenched my teeth and shook away the thought.

There is no need to thank me, it is the very least I owe you, said the medicae. Just please, do not makeme regret it.

I won't, I stammered, trying to keep the guilt from my voice and quickly changed the subject. How isshe?

The medicae frowned, she is stabilized, she will live.

I sighed and looked down at Karmen, do you, do you think shell be able to use false flesh to cover thescars?

Yes I think she can, he said. She is a very beautiful woman, it is a complete tragedy to see such beautydestroyed.

I couldnt contend a reply, as the horrific image of Karmen tearing her face apart flashed through my mind.I closed my eyes to hold back the sudden tears and clenched my jaw. By the Emperor I wished I couldforget that. I wished I couldve stopped her sooner.

Are you okay, Mr Kaltos?


14/55

Yeah, Im okay. I sighed and rubbed away the tears. I was tired, damned tired. I needed a good, hot cupof recaff. Just, really tired is all.

The Medicae smiled and nodded, of course, after all you went through. Im not surprised.

I rubbed my eyes again, then my stomach suddenly growled, violently and the pain of extreme hungerripped through me.

And hungry, I added. Id eaten just before wed left for Brutis Bones base, but that was hours ago. Idalready had a freakishly fast metabolism, even after the largest meals I was hungry within an hour or two,but after Faleaseen had sped it up even more. I must be on the brink of starvation.

Any food in here? I stammered desperately.

The medicaes eyes widened briefly, hmm Im not sure, I will look for you, but I doubt it he said thenstarted to search through the draws.

Thanks.

Just then I felt the medicae vehicle slow then swerve to a stop and I gazed through the small backwindow, seeing Arlathans Magistratum van following us, and after that one of the black limousines wedtravelled to Brutis base in.

Two faces abruptly appeared in the windows and both back doors opened. The two orderlies jumped intothe vehicle. Without sparing me a glance, they picked up Karmens gurney and carried her out.

Immediately I was up and running after them, into the parking lot, ignoring the Medicae yelling my nameand pushing through two of Tarysts mercenaries as they approached the vehicle.

In the under covered parking lot I saw six more medicae vehicles and around a dozen other patients being

wheeled toward the doors.

At the doors two more mercs stood holding them open, waving us through.

I was jogging along side Karmens gurney and I looked at her, she was still as limp as a corpse, but stillbreathing.

It was then I noticed that the two orderlies were looking at me with shocked expressions.

I grinned, realising how strange it mustve been.

I-Im alright, I said. Ill take you to the medicae area, follow me.

They only nodded dumbly.

Picking up my pace I ran forward, through the doors and into the white, brightly lit corridor.

As I led them, my mind began to wander, allowing my instinct to lead me to the medical area.

So many questions, so so many, why did Edracian want to take poor Elandrias corpse off world? Andwhere? What would Edracian want with all those souls? Why were they going somewhere else and not tohim? And again where? Why was Feuilt sent to guard the conduit alone? Why did Karmen not tell me she

also was working for Faleaseen? Did she know that Glaitis was also working for the farseer? Also, whydidnt Faleaseen comunicate properly with me earlier? How was her view limited? Did my father reallyteach Feuilt everything he knew? So was Serghar Kaltos involved in this? I knew my father worked underan Inquisitor but not the Inquisitors name, perhaps he did work under Edracian. But why wasnt I ever toldthis? Seems like a pretty important piece of information for me to know. If my father was here, onOmnartus that might mean, that might mean.


15/55

At that thought I felt my chest tighten. My father, I havent seen him in seven years. Seven frigging years.Was my dream going to come true? So much was foreshadowed by that dream, my fight againstElandria and the meeting of Karmen both came true. So my fight against Serghar was entirely possible,but to be able to fight on such even terms against someone lauded as one of the greatest assassins ofthe sector? And not just that come out victorious? Was I already that good? I doubted that, highly.

Still on instinct I turned left as we came to a T junction.

Just then another thought hit me and hit me frigging hard, making me actually stop in my tracks. IfFaleaseen could pretend to be Karmens voice in my mind, what was stopping her pretending to be me?To make me think things I wasnt actually thinking? Like that voice which forced me to move when I almostgave up with exhaustion. Was that her? What if I was no longer me, what if I was Faleaseen justpretending to be me?

Uhh, you okay? called one of the orderlies, knocking me from of my train of thought. We have to keepmoving.

Slowly, I looked over my shoulder at them, my mind a mess of fear.

Im sorry, I stammered and began to make myself to move, forcing the fear away. Now wasnt the timefor that line of thought, not with so many lives in the balance. I couldnt continue to think like that at all infact, or else my sanity would undoubtedly be destroyed, Id have to have faith that my thoughts weremine.

I started to run again while grimacing and sticking out my tongue in disgust, faith, as much as I hatedthat word it was the only one I could aptly apply to it.

As much as it was dull, repetitive and hard I was missing the earlier months of this job, I missed thesimplicity of it. Id wished for something to happen, for it to change and advance besides moving fromHammer hideout to Hammer hideout, killing and killing. I shouldve been careful what I wished for.

In silence I led them through the building, struggling to keep my mind clear and concise from any thought.

According to my wrist chron It took about a minute to arrive, but it felt like a frig load longer.

As they gave me nods and thanks, the orderlies wheeled the injured though the doors, with them were adozen armed mercs Id never noticed were following us. Watching Karmen constantly before shedisappeared from view.

With a tired sigh, I approached the nearest seat and dumped myself onto it.

My stomach groaned with hunger and I had to fight the fatigue as it instantly threatened to overwhelm me.

Placing my face into the palm of my hand and wondered, how did all this happen? How did Edracianmanipulate us all so frigging well? The only plausible explanation I could think of was he could also seeinto the future, perhaps even better than Faleaseen. He was a psyker even though, apparently not beingone before. Perhaps, perhaps hes using those souls hes collecting to make himself a psyker? Thatalong with what Feuilt claimed, making pacts with the ruinous powers?

Either that or he was just a really, really good planner, but that I truly doubted, to out manoeuvre an EldarFarseer, to be able to pull through such a convoluted scheme would need some sort of farsight. Itd beimpossible otherwise.

My stomach growled again making me groan. I needed food and caffeine, badly but I couldnt bring myselfto leave Karmen.

Attelus? came a small voice down the corridor, causing my attention to suddenly snap to its source, ayoung, pretty and freckled redhead girl stood looking at me curiously. She carried under her arm a folder


16/55

of letters. I recognised her as one of the many, many mail delivery attendants who constantly workedthroughout the building. Id talked to her a few times before but couldnt recall her name now.

She began to approach her large, blue eyes wide with concern, are you okay, Attelus? she stammered.Whats going on? I saw all the gurneys being wheeled here. I dont understand.

I stared at her, unsure how the hell to respond my mind reeling through many different potential answers,whether to lie or tell the truth. In the end I decided on saying. Something Id rarely admitted to manydirectly.

I uhh Im sorry, but I uhh have forgotten your name, Im sorry.

She smiled with her full lips, my name is Adelana.

Im sorry, Adelana, I stammered while shaking away the tiredness. I just have a terrible memory fornames, never been good at, that.

Adelana shrugged, its okay, I forget things all the time too.

Well, you remembered my name, I pointed out.

She smiled again and tapped her head, well, its my job to remember names.

I frowned and eyed her suspiciously, that maybe true but I knew that Id never be getting any sort of mailbefore, she wouldnt have had to learn my name, not ever.

Mind if I sit? she asked.

No! No of course I dont! I said.

She sat down next to me, it was then I realised she was truly attractive, perhaps even beautiful, why

hadnt I remembered her? Well with all the attractive girls working here it seemed hard to tell one fromanother.

You look terrible, she said bluntly.

It was my turn to smile and I rubbed my eyes, yeah, I could imagine. Im tired, really, really frigging tired.

I can see and I see youve been through some rough times.

I sniggered, yeah, you could say that. Ive been through a lot. You alright? You sure you should be sittinghere talking like this?

She grinned, lets just say Im on my break, an unofficial break, so no and yes.

Sniggering again I shook my head, I was really beginning to like her.

Hey, Adelana, can I. Can I ask you a personal question?

A look of bemusement crossed her face, uhh sure, okay.

You dont smoke, do you? I could really use a smoke of Lho right now.

No, no I dont, she said, smiling slightly and shaking her head. I didnt know you smoked, Attelus.

I do, I said. I really do, like a frigging chimney. Adelana, do you...Do you know what I do for a living?

No, she said, but I can guess, you always walk around with that armoured jacket on and have that


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sword, youre some type of mercenary? Like others here hired by Taryst. Am I correct?

Yeah, yeah you are, I said and I couldnt help wonder what shed think of me if she knew the truth. Of allthe people Ive killed, of all my manipulations and...

I raised my eyebrow as a thought hit me. She mustve known about what I did to Vex, yet here she wasstill sitting here talking to me utterly unafraid.

Well, Ive better get going, said Adelana as she suddenly got to her feet. My break is about to end soon.

Without thinking my hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her by the sleeve.

Attelus? She stammered.

Thank you, I said, and Im sorry.

Sorry? Sorry for what?

Im sorry I cant tell you more and thank you, thank you, for sitting here and talking to me despite what Idid.

She shrugged, its okay, I thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to, everyone needs that,despite everything.

I smiled, can I walk with you?

Yeah sure, just please dont get angry and strangle me.

My heart sank, as a sudden shock of pain shivered through me and I snatched back my hand.

I-I wouldnt...

Thats a joke, lets go Ive got to get back soon.

I dumbly nodded and slowly pulled myself to my feet.

She was only half joking, she mustve said it to gauge my reaction. She mustve.

We began to walk, our footsteps echoing down the corridor.

Where do you want to go? she asked.

Uhh to the cafeteria, I need, food, I slurred.

Well Ill take you there, its a bit of a delay, but I dont mind.

Youre sure?

Yeah, dont worry about me.

I wont strangle you. I swear, I wouldnt

I know.

I looked back at the doors, whatever happens to Karmen will happen with or without me waiting in thecorridor. I just hoped shed be okay.


18/55

Whatever happens, happens, I said.

As we walked, we talked more and she told me much about herself. She was from south Omnartus in themiddle level hive. Her mother was an administratum clerk and her father ran a old clothing store on theupper level. She hadnt seen them for six months as shed moved north to study for a position in theMagistratum. I really wanted to say: well theres a whole lot of openings for you now, but refrained,barely. She was working part time here to pay for her survival. She was only nineteen, but was in hersecond to last year of study. She was so intelligent, yet so humble. She said she was worried shed failher next test but from her track record, I doubted that.

She seemed so normal, so nice and almost...innocent. She had no idea about the real world and I couldnthelp but envy her ignorance. In fact the more she talked, despite myself, the more I found myself gettingangrier and angrier. I struggled to fight it, my jaw clenched, my hands were clasped behind my back and Igripped so hard I could swear it was cutting off the circulation. I really wanted to tell her everything, of allthe people Id brutally murdered, of the warp and the secrets behind this organisation. To destroy herinnocence, to make her a shell of herself, just like me. She wouldnt believe me at first, no, but Id makeher believe me. Id make her believe.

All her problems were so pathetic and minor, shed deserve it. To see what people with proper problems

had to deal with.

But I didnt, despite really, really, really wanting to. Frig it was hard, so so hard.

Eventually, we arrived at the entrance of the cafeteria.

Well here we are, she said. Ive better head back, Im already late as it is. Nice talking to you, Attelus.

Yes, it was, nice, I managed.

Are you okay? she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

Im, fine.

Okay! Youre weird, Attelus. You know that right? See you later, she said with a shrug and she turned towalk away.

Wait, I exclaimed, causing her to stop and turn back to me.

Yes?

I just wanted to say, I clenched my jaw and fists even harder. I just wanted to say...

What? she was looking at me with an expression that couldve been confusion, fear or both and thatmade me want to tell her all the more.

Thank you, I finally stammered.

Its okay, talk later, she said then left.

I watched her go, she did have quite a nice arse.

I couldnt help but wonder, after all Ive been through, would I ever be able to have anything in common and

sympathise with anyone normal ever again?

I didnt truly know, in all honesty and didnt know if I actually cared. She seemed like a good, caringperson. Of course that could all be crap, the last person I thought was good and caring turned out to be apsychotic traitor working for the enemy.


19/55

If it wasnt for what I did, the hell I just went through, shed most likely be dead now along with everyoneelse. Unknowingly Id protected her, this good, sweet girl who sure as hell didnt deserve to be evisceratedby a daemon. If there was even one more person like her in this galaxy, perhaps it would all be worth it.

Ill keep doing this, I sighed. For you, Adelana. People like you deserve to live and make what I gothrough, worth it. I thank you, yet again.

I slipped into the cafeteria ignoring the looks of two bewildered employees who were then just exiting.

If they were so weirded out by someone talking to himself, they really needed to get out more.

After I gathered my food, corned beef with mashed potatoes and peas. I sat alone and tore it apart, eatingalmost as ravenously as Karmen had earlier. I tried to slow myself but couldnt find the strength to do it.

I didnt stop even after I caught two people approaching me in the corner of my eye.

Here you go kid, said Garrakson as he and Torris sat across from me and he placed a pack of Lhos onthe table. You more than deserve these.

I couldnt reply, I still had a mouthful of food.

Hungry are we? said Torris. Hows the food?

As average as always, I said after swallowing. Its, its nice to see you two managed to make it.

They shared a glance.

Thanks in no small part to you, Attelus, said Torris. Were just surprised youre already up and about.

Well, Im just full of surprises, I said. You should know that by now.

Always so humble, said Garrakson while rolling his eyes.

Why thank you, I said before chewing into another mouthful. Its good to hear you think so. Anyway, youguys know of Adelana? The redhead who works in the mail delivery centre?

Torris large eyes widened and he raised an eyebrow, no Ive never heard of Adelana, the redhead whoworks in the mail delivery centre. Have you, Garrakson?

Nope, I havent either, Torris, in fact, Ive never heard of anyone who works here with the name Adelanabefore. Never had I even seen her name on our records.

Really, I said, with a furrowed brow. Is this the best you two can come up with?

No, I really mean it, said Garrakson. This isnt a joke, I swear. There was never anyone under ouremploy named Adelana.

Im not in the mood guys, I growled.

Torris and Garrakson shared another glance.

Alright, alright, well stop, sorry, said Garrakson. Why are you asking about her?

I uhh well we, uhh.

Anyway, the redhead, Adelana? said Torris. Her now? What about Karmen? Arent you and her in a thingalready? Attelus you womanizer, you. Soon ol Olinthre will have competition in the girl getting department.


20/55

At that I felt my face flush red.

Garrakson grinned, Attelus, Karmen would be the very, very, very worst person to cheat on.

Yknow, her being a psyker and all, added Torris unneededly.

You two seriously think Im that stupid? I said. Anyway me and Karmen are hardly in a thing.

Not in a thing? Really? Said Torris. We all saw you kiss before, which got us wondering.

I furrowed my brow and clenched my jaw, not liking where this was going.

Yeah, it has, said Garrakson, for all we know it should have been only the second, brief time you met.Yet there you were exchanging saliva with someone you barely know, we just cant believe youre thatshallow. Now tell me, Attelus, why is that?

My jaw clenched even harder and I glanced at Torris and Garrakson in turn. They stared back at me, theirexpressions set in determination.

What was I to do? They had me cornered well and truly, damn it. If only me and Estella had been more,subtle. I just hadnt seen her in so long, Id missed her. Without even knowing it.

I grinned nervously, what would you say if I told you that wed actually just met then, and I was, actually,that shallow?

Why dont you try and find out? said Torris grimly.

My heart sank, I sighed again and shook my head. Fighting back the anger at myself and Karmen. Theywanted to know and I understood that. They werent asking for much either, but it was a secret andsecrets were always hard for me to share.

I exhaled through my nose, rubbed my temples and decided to tell them the truth and as we know, that isthe best way to lie.

Okay, I said. Alright, Ill tell you the truth. I think you two truly deserve to know.

Garrakson and Torris both exchanged surprised glances.

It better well be, growled Garrakson.

It is, I said and gave him a withering glare.It is just hard finding somewhere to start, exactly.

Just start from the beginning, said Garrakson, impatiently.

Its not that simple, I said, shaking my head.

Have you ever considered that its never simple because you make it complicated? said Garrakson.Just start from the frigging beginning, kid! I swear youre like a damn woman!

It doesnt help that he looks like one, added Torris.

Emperor damn it, guys! I snarled, bashing my fists on the table. This isnt easy for me, okay? You have

no frigging idea-!

Then give us an idea, Attelus! interrupted Torris. Take some time if you need to, but you arent leavingthis room until you tell us.


21/55

Alright, alright Ill start at the...start if you insist, I sighed. I come from a small agri world in the galacticwest, that borders the Halo stars. Named Elbyra. Particularly the small nation; Velrosia.

I paused and looked at Garrakson to see what hed do but he gave no reaction what so ever, he just satthere, looking back at me as he picked his nose.

I uhh, I said with a raised eyebrow. It was seven years ago when Elbyra was invaded by the forces ofchaos. They apparently came from the Halo stars, took us by complete surprise. Destroyed our PDF fleetand proceeded to bombard us like all hell.

I sighed and shook my head, my country and my city, were amongst the hardest hit. I paused andwondered if what I was going to say next was because I was lucky, or something else entirely. I onlysurvived the initial bombardment because I was near my fathers house, which had its own undergroundbomb shelter.

Wait! Wait! said Torris. Your father, had a bomb shelter?

I laughed and took a sip of my water, yeah! You may think Im paranoid, but my father, my father heblows me out of the water. Excuse the pun.

Garrakson and Torris grimaced, glancing at each other again.

Blows you out of the water? said Torris. You said that in present tense, is your father still alive?

I shrugged and took another bite of corned beef, dunno, I slurred. Perhaps. He wasnt there at the time,he was off world, somewhere else.

What happened to your mother? said Garrakson. Where was she? You must have been only sixteen,seventeen at the time.

She was at her house, maybe, at that time, I said, more deadpanned than I intended. Wed just had a

huge fight and I wanted time alone, so I walked to my dads place. Then the bombs began to fall. Im prettysure my mums dead. After theyd stopped I went to her place and found it in ruins, much like everythingelse.

You were, very lucky it seems, said Torris.

I paused in my chewing and my eyes narrowed, hmm, perhaps. Or unlucky, from a certain point of view.

Im sorry, Attelus, said Garrakson.

I shrugged again, its okay. Dont get me wrong I loved my mum and I miss her but, I dont know, I just

always feel real numb about it for some reason.

What were you and your mother arguing about, Attelus? said Torris.

I gave him a glare, that bit of information is rather irrelevant, isnt it?

Torris shrugged, just wondering.

What happened after, Attelus? said Garrakson, fixing Torris with a disapproving look.

I survived, I stated simply.

Yeah, we can tell that, said Torris.

I looked down to the table and closed my eyes, I-I dont want to go into the details. I dont want talk aboutwhat I went through.


22/55

Garrakson shook his head, his eyes wide, it mustve been hell, Attelus. If you dont want to talk about that,we understand.

Torris shook his head, no.

Garrakson shot him a glance, what?

Torris glared at me from under a hooded brow, no, you should tell us, Attelus. You dont have to, but youshould. We wont judge you, I swear. But it might be better for you if you talk about it. I worked in theArbites for many years. I was, I think, too human for the job so they got me to console the victims of manyof the crimes we investigated. The best thing for them was if they talked about what they went through,always. Attelus, youre traumatized I can see, suffering from what could be post traumatic stress disorder.You hide it well but I could see that right from the start.

I looked down at my plate and dropped my knife and fork with clangs, swallowing back the bile rising in mythroat

I...

Were your friends, kid, said Torris. Or at least I like to think we are, were here to help.

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

Ive never told anyone about it before, I said. Not even Glaitis, she never seemed even interested about itat all.

Because she probably knew all of it already, I thought and I couldnt remember it in any detail until recently.

I, I sighed. Just promise me, swear to me that well still be friends, after knowing what I did, please.

Of course, stammered Torris. Of course we will.

For the first few days I started off living off the food in my fathers bunker, I said. But much of it hadcaved in during the bombardment, so I ran out quickly. So I began scavenging amongst the rubble forfood. But, but it was so hard to find, so so hard. But there were corpses, everywhere in the streets so I,I...had to...to.

Oh, God Emperor, gasped Garrakson as it hit him. You didnt?

Yeah, I did, I said, with a humourless laugh and tears in my eyes. I was running then on pure instinctand anything and everything to win and, yeah. You could say it was lucky for me when the forces of chaos

finally rolled in and for some reason secured the ruins of Varander. From then on I had an abundantresource for food.

Garrakson and Torris said nothing, just gaped at me in abstract horror.

I would, once in awhile, stalk, ambush and kill their patrols. Then steal their supplies for myself.

Wait! said Garrakson. Wait! Are you telling me you managed to kill entire arch enemy patrols singlehandedly?

I know its hard to believe and I didnt always succeed, but yes I did, I said bluntly. I would have to tail

them for hours before finding the right moment to strike and they were badly trained, ill disciplined.

Garrakson glared at me, you shouldnt have eaten that food, kid.

What? I growled. I had no choice! All the food then was gone, rotted away! I had no choice!


23/55

Calm down, Attelus, said Torris.

I sighed and fought back the anger.

It was like that for months I said. Many times theyd try to hunt me down and kill me, but Id alwaysmanage to slip away by the skin of my teeth. I was always on the move, changing my hideouts almostday by day.

I sighed, I wasnt aware of it, but I was slowly losing my sanity and humanity. Becoming a mindlessanimal, living to survive, not surviving to live. That was until I heard someone run over the roof of myhideout. Being chased by an enemy patrol.

Garrakson furrowed his brow and Torris nodded.

Who? said Garrakson.

I smiled, it was Karmen.

What? Really? said Garrakson.

Yeah, well, kind of, back then she was sergeant Estella Erith, of the Velrosian PDF. She was the lastsurvivor of a squad sent north to investigate the destruction. You know that black and white armour shewore before? It was from those days. She was the first person Id seen in so long who wasnt trying to killme.

I smiled, she saved me, saved me from losing my sanity and it would be safe to say that I... That I...uhhumm.

Torris grinned, fell in love with her?

I grinned, looking away, embarrassed, yeah, I stammered. At that time though Im pretty sure it wascompletely one sided, she had no idea.

What was she like, back then? asked Torris.

Different, I said. Nicer and kinder, although she almost got herself killed because of her pride, if I hadntconvinced her to step down.

What about her psychic powers? asked Torris.

Much less. I think she mustve been...latent? I said. It was weird though, she knew my last name withoutme ever telling her.

And you trusted her? said Garrakson.

Yeah I did, I said smiling. It was hard for me at first but, yeah.

Garrakson just smiled coyly and shook his head.

I was about to ask what that was about when Torris said, what did you do then?

Together, we travelled south toward the front line. The Imperial Guard had come to fight for us. TheElbyran contingent. Commanded by General Tathe.

As I said this, again I kept an eye on Garrakson to see what hed do, but again he gave no reaction.

I sighed, it took us over two weeks, but we finally managed to slip through the enemy forces and get tothe refugee and Elbyran Imperial Guard encampments.


24/55

What happened next? said Torris.

She left me, I sighed. Karmen uhh Estella left me at the refugee camp to report her findings to generalTathe and she never came back.

What? You dont know why, yet? asked Torris.

No, she hasnt told me yet, I replied.

Here I was, swallowing many truths, I didnt want to tell them that shed tried to erase my memories.Thatd just make them hate her more and with what was at stake we didnt need that. Not at all.

You have to understand, Torris, Garrakson, I said. After all that I went through, after all that Id done. I-Icouldnt go back to a normal life. I decided that Id become an assassin.

How old were you? Seventeen? You couldve waited a year then joined the guard, said Garrakson.

Im not a soldier, Garrakson, you should know that.

Many who believed themselves to not be soldiers have become the greatest soldiers of all.

I glared at Garrakson.

Garrakson, leave it, said Torris. We told him we wouldnt judge him and whats done is done, okay?

I grinned, anyway, would they accept a withered, little, ex-cannibal into their ranks?

Well, if that withered little ex-cannibal had your skill, Im positive they would, said Garrakson.

That begs another question, Attelus, said Torris. How did you, at seventeen acquire the necessary skillsnot only to survive but also be able to single handedly ambush and kill entire arch enemy patrols?

I swallowed and frowned, my father, he taught me everything I needed to know. How to carve and cookpartly rotten meat. How to fight, how to kill. Right from when I was old enough to walk.

Just who is your father? said Garrakson. Sounds like he knows how the world turns. Ex-guard is he?

Nope, I said. He is an assassin. Though I dont know where he got his training from.

Was it him? Was it him that inspired you to take up this...Line of work? said Torris.

What? To become a low life, low level, expendable and badly paid mercenary? No. My ideal of it then,didnt fit with the reality of it at all.

It never does, said Torris.

I guess, said Garrakson with a grimace as he sniffed loudly.

Both Torris and me expected him to say more but he didnt, just twisted his finger in his ear.

Torris turned back to me, that is one hell of a coincidence, Attelus. Our psyker just so happens to be yourold crush and war buddy.

I shrugged and struggled to keep the smirk from my face.

Well, coincidences can happen, I said.


25/55

Miracle more like, said Garrakson.

It was Torris turn to sniff, so, kid. When the woman who you hadnt seen in seven years, the one you fellin love with. The one that saved you from going insane and youd fought beside. When she had emergedfrom that elevator. I couldnt imagine the thoughts and emotions you were going through when you sawher. You hid your reaction very, very well.

In fact, you were doing your usual smug smirk, said Garrakson. The smirk you do when youre up tosomething devious, right, Torris?

Torris frowned and glanced at Garrakson.

Jeurat. Do you seriously think my attention was on Attelus then? he said.

Garrakson grimaced, folded his arms and leaned back in his chair.

No...

Torris smiled.

I grinned and shrugged, in my line of work, one must know how to control their emotions.

Garrakson snorted, and youve proven yourself real good at that, he said sarcastically.

Well, Ive learned a lot the hard way over the past few months, I said.

Garrakson grimaced.

So she never came back, what did you do then? asked Torris.

Waited out the war, I said, but it didnt last long. Apparently Space Marines of the Dark Angels chaptercame and cleaned out the invaders. Never got to see any of this first hand, though.

Again, very lucky, said Torris.

I just pursed my lips and shrugged again.

For a good minute we sat in awkward silence.

I had completely lost my appetite, all I could do was stare down at my plate and poke it with my fork.

Well, kid, that certainly explains a lot, said Torris eventually.

Yeah, it does, agreed Garrakson.

You look tired, kid, said Torris.

I am, I really, really am, I sighed while rubbing my eyes.

Lets go, Attelus, said Torris. Well take you somewhere you can sleep.

Yeah, sounds good, I said and despite everything I felt better, felt like I'd taken a little weight off my chest.

I woke screaming, screaming like Id never screamed before. I writhed, sweaty in the sheets as the terrorof the nightmare continued to hold me in its grip.

Finally I managed to make myself stop and gasping through my raw ragged throat, I sat on the side of the


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bed. Looking down at my hands with watery eyes.

It was a dream, only a dream, but by the Emperor what a nightmare! What the hell was that? Some sortof horridly sick fantasy? One which would happen if I gave into the insanity? I clasped my face into mysweat slicked hands.

What the hell is wrong with me? I gasped. Why would I dream that? Why?

I stood up and stumbled drunkenly through the mess of my room, toward the bathroom.

After that little bit of soul searching, Torris and Garrakson had brought me back to my hab unit andimmediately Id just thrown myself onto my bed, too exhausted to do anything else.

But now I regretted it, that dream by the Emperor, that dream. Somehow I found it even more horrifyingthan the daemons and anything Id ever encountered before.

I found the sink, turned on the water, rinsed my face, then gazed at my reflection in the mirror.

The bruises Id suffered were all gone, my face now almost pristine but when I brushed off the hair thatcovered the left side of my face, I saw the scar.

By frig it was an ugly, jagged thing around six centimetres long, a good four centimetres wide and at leasttwo centimetres deep. The many, many stitches that had held it together, were now mostly broken andopen. Itd always be there as a reminder, a reminder of Elandria and the utter beating I took from theshapeshifter, Xenos, thing.

At the thought of Glaitis pet I gripped the basin, hard making my knuckles whiten with strain and myreflection to glare back at me with barely contained rage. The bastard! Ill make sure it will die! Just thesame Feuilt, then Glaitis after him! Though, In all honesty I didnt care what order I killed them in, just aslong as it was at my hand and they both died, painfully.

Yet I still had the promise Id made to Karmen, one which I intended to keep, but once Glaitis and It hadoutlived their usefulness, I wasnt going to hesitate.

I sighed and pushed off the sink and walked to my bedside. Took my comm link, grabbed the nearesttowel and made for my shower. By the Emperor did I need one. Not just because I stunk but also wishingto wash away the memory of that horrific dream.

What is it about you? You seem to bring out the best and worst of me all at once, I thought as I turned theshower faucet and placed my comm on the sink. Why do you do this to me, Adelana? WHY!?

I-I had feelings for Karmen, why was I dreaming of Adelana? Someone I barely knew? Why did she make

me act that way? Why?

With a frustrated growl, I stepped under the hot stream.

The sick thing was, I enjoyed it. It may have sickened me now but during the dream, I liked it. Itd felt good,itd felt, right.

I knew I had a...darkness which I struggled to keep fettered. But Id never imagined it to be that bad, thatpsychotic and cruel.

If I lost myself, if I became truly unfettered, as that utterly terrifying monster what Id become?

I sighed, just like Feuilt was, or wasnt? I had no idea what he really was the psychotic cultist Id fought, orif it was some kind of front for some reason I was too tired to really think about.

Yet again my thoughts came back to Feuilts last words, that Edracian wasnt what he seemed. I waspretty sure he was telling the truth but the truth of what, exactly?. Then it hit me, it couldve been anyone in


27/55

that armour, anyone. Theyd said that Edracian wasnt actually a psyker. So perhaps, perhaps somepsyker had killed Edracian and was now in the armour pretending to be him? As Brutis Bones hadsuggested.

My mind whirled, and I was filled with fear so if that was true, then, who? Who the hell could it be? Could itbe, my father? Feuilt had claimed he knew my father, that it was Serghar Kaltos whod taught himeverything he knew.

I shook that away, I knew my father wasnt a psyker. But what if my father was using the souls to makehimself one? As Id thought of earlier. That also posed yet another question. Just how much did ourerstwhile ally Brutis Bones actually know? Hed said when wed first met something hinting that I shouldn'thave assumed it was actually Edracian. Perhaps Brutis actually knew this?

He was just another on the long list of people I couldnt trust, a list which was getting longer by thesecond.

For a long time I stood, hunched even worse than usual and stared at the white tiled wall in a daze as theconstant stream of hot water hit me.

What Id just seen, what Id been through was like nothing Id ever seen before. Id just encountered what a

very small minority of this galaxy ever would, the entities of the warp, daemons.

I looked down at my clenching fist. Seeing that stuff, mustve damaged my mind. Thats what I was told byGlatis once. The warp and anything to do with it was the true anathema to us, to all logic and reason. Thatmere contact near it hurts us, hurts our mental health and well being. Id always been near the edge, soafter that...incident, how much closer was I? And on top of that, the Farseer, knowing shes there in myhead, perhaps even manipulating my every thought.

Despite the heat of the water I shivered, I just hoped that Id never encounter anything like that again. SureId taken numerous trips through the warp since Id left Elbyra seven years ago, but Id always avoidedlooking on the warp as it went by outside.

Just then I felt the water begin to lose its warmth and clumsily, I turned off the faucet. For another good tenminutes I stood, stark naked in the shower.

I wasnt sure what I wanted to do, whether I wanted to laugh in triumph that Id survived that hell, that Idmanaged to stop the daemonic invasion before it even started. Or if I wanted to weep, so many had died,so many good people that didnt deserve it, Olinthre, Taryst, all the Magistratum detectives, the manyHammers under Brutis command.

Elandria, I said, my emotion choked and croaking voice echoing in the bathroom.

Just then my vox link chimed, knocking me from my revere.

Slowly, I got out of the shower, wrapped my towel around my waist and picked it up.

Attelus here, I said.

Attelus, said Olinthres voice, causing another cold shiver to crawl up my spine. Hurry it up we need youup in Tarysts grotto, ASAP.

I-

But before I could say more, the shapeshifter cut the link.

I sighed, that Thing just loved to take every opportunity it got to boss me around, didnt it?

Well soon it wont be able to, ever again, I thought with a smile and left the bathroom.Trying to ignore my reflection in the mirror on the way out.


28/55

After slipping on a clean body glove and my flak jacket, I left my hab unit. Finding the building now crawlingwith mercs. I found the step up on security was hardly surprising, after all thats happened.

I caught the elevator to the bottom floor, clenching my teeth in annoyance as the sound of screechinggears hurt my ears. According to my wrist chron Id only slept for about an hour. Which was why I couldstill barely keep my eyes open.

With a long, drawn out yawn I took out a Lho, lit it and placed it in my mouth. I glanced at the pack andsighed as I saw it was already half empty. Perhaps it was high time I quit.

The I couldnt help wonder, what was it that made the Mimic call me over there so urgently. Had Karmenfinally awoken? Or was it something to do with that pict I took?

I sighed as the elevator finally made it to the bottom floor.

Guess Im going to find out, I thought as I slid open the rusty old cage door which squealed horridly inprotest.

I was so tired I almost missed seeing the six Mercenaries waiting for me in the main foyer. Theyapproached from a far corner all in old standard issue guard flak armour and holding las guns.

Attelus Kaltos, said one with a nod, they all wore full helmets so I couldnt see any of their faces.

Oh great, I sighed, rolling my eyes. Let me guess, the major sent you guys?

Yeah, said another, sounding a little surprised. Said we need to take you to the main tower, so you uhhdont screw up yet a-frigging-gain.

I grimaced and reached for the powersword sheathed at my hip. How can trust these idiots? Sure that

sounded like something the Mimic would say, but these could easily be mooks sent by Edracian indisguise.

You alright, sir? asked the first whod spoke before.

Yeah, Im alright, I said through clenched teeth, what was I going to do? Slaughter them like dogs, justbased on some small suspicion? I really dont need an escort, I said. Ill be fine.

Im sorry sir but the major insisted, said the first.

The corner of my mouth twitched and I pulled out my vox link, tuning it to Olinthres channel.

What do you want? came Olinthres voice only a few chimes.

You forgot to mention that youd sent people to guard me, Im just calling in to make sure theyre yours.

Of course theyre mine, he said. I sent them to make sure you wont screw up and get yourselfkidnapped again.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, thinking that six ex-guardsmen escorting me wouldnt really make much ofa difference if Edracian wanted to attack me again, but okay. Also theyd just make me stick out all the themore.

Alright, I said and cut the link.

You ready to go now? said one, sounding impatient now.


29/55

Yeah lets go, I said, putting my hands into the pockets of my flak jacket. Sorry just had to make sureyou were who you said you were.

They glanced at each other, seeming more than a little bit bemused.

They really knew nothing didnt they?

Wow, you really are paranoid arent you? said one.

I clenched my teeth and bristled, trying to contend a coherent reply but was so taken aback my wordsonly came out as angry, idiotic mono syllables.

Uh oh, said the first. I think we may have just broken him.

If you went through even half of what Ive just been through, you would be too! I snapped.

Yeah, yeah, said one of them sarcastically. Its bad enough were running around after a brat like you,we dont need to be shouted at as well. So kid lets move on and get this over and done with, okay?

Yeah right, fair enough, I said, with a shrug. Sorry to be such a pain, lets get on.

The elevator reached the top of Tarysts tower and I was shocked to see in the corridor at least thirty orforty people standing guard some of them were Tarysts regulars, some were the very few remainingHammers under Brutis and Magistratum enforcers under Arlathan Karkin.

They glared at us with barely contained anger as we exited the elevator. They all looked weary, barely ableto keep their feet. Almost all the magistratum and Hammers had assorted wounds of varying intensity.

Poor bastards, said Halick quietly, most of the mercs with me had now taken off their helms allowing meto see their faces. Halick was a tall, dark skinned man, whose long hair was in dread locks and pulled off

his face in a ponytail, he was an ex bounty hunter but seemed like a good man. You wouldnt know whathappened to them would you, kid?

We began to walk through them, trying to ignore their looks.

Yeah, I said, hesitantly. Its a little hard to explain though, Ill tell you later when I get the chance.

It was an outright lie, as I knew Id never get that opportunity.

Never thought Id see the day when ours, the local Hammers and the frigging Magistratum would all be inthe same room and not be trying to kill each other, said Roldar, a little louder than I wouldve liked, a ex

guardsman who was the groups leader. He was a man of medium height, his short grey hair closecropped, he reminded me a bit of Garrakson. His tough, no nonsense attitude was very similar, he alsohad scars all over his face, from countless battles. He looked quite young though, only a few years olderthan me.

I just frowned and shrugged.

We came to the curtains at the end of the corridor and immediately out slipped the Mimic to meet us, themen around saluted.

Youre here, It said. Took your bloody time.

Hello to you too, Olinthre, I said.

Get in here, Attelus, It just said. You six stay out here.


30/55

Yes sir, said Jelket, the short pale man looking uncertain as he and the rest turned away.

The Olinthre-thing beckoned me through and hesitantly, I followed.

Inside I found standing near the entrance was Arlathan Karkin, he was pacing the room and still wearinghis dark blue Magistratum flak armour. With his finger and thumb on his chin. He eyed me as I entered, hisbig eyes wide with fear or at least it couldve been fear, couldve been humiliation as well. After hisperformance in Brutiss hideout a few hours ago I couldnt blame him if it was. When I met his look, heimmediately averted his gaze.

I smiled, humiliation definitely humiliation, his ego had taken a huge hit. Perhaps itd brought him somehumility.

Then there was Brutis Bones, he still wore his power armour which made him tower over everyone else inthe room, his expression was unreadable as he watched me. Next to him was Wesley, he sat hunchedforward on one of the couches hed shaved off his considerable beard and as a result looked ten yearsyounger. His long blonde hair washed and tidy now. He didnt even look at me, his attention stayed firmlyon the floor.

Standing in the far left corner was Glaitis who stood surprisingly alongside Hayden, Castella and

Darrance. Darrance sneered at me, Hayden, just sat in the corner looking like he was meditating.Castella, oh Emperor I was glad she was there as she smiled at me, but I was more than a little disturbedto see it didnt reach her eyes.

Glaitis, her cold blue eyes were uncompromisingly hard.

I involuntarily flinched as the shield suddenly activated behind me, sudden anger took me.

Well! Well! I exclaimed, smiling and raising my arms theatrically. This is a sight to see!

Shut it, Attelus, said Darrance.

I ignored him, youd think having all the guards in the corridor would be a bit redundant. When all youregoing to do is turn on the void shield.

Frigging shut it! snarled Darrance.

Or is there another reason? I said. Its really there, just so they cant hear us, right? Just so we cankeep our secrets and lies. Well, secrets and lies.

You know how it works, said Glaitis, sternly.

I do, I really really do, I said. But it goes too far, all those men out there are expected to fight and die foryou. For your damned agendas, and they have no real clue as to why. While you sit back on your damnchairs scheming, safe and sound. It sucks it just sucks and sickens me. Im sick and tired of this shit! Allthe games! This isnt just a game of regicide, out there are real people with hopes and dreams. Theydeserve to know something, anything. I was just like them barely a few months ago. I know what its like.

And now you know everything, Attelus, said Wesley. How does that make you feel?

I-I dont know, I stated honestly. But I can tell you this, if I didnt know what was at stake, what wasneeded to be done. I wouldnt have done what I just did. Run through hell, pushing myself far and beyondwhat Id ever imagined I could. I did that because I knew Edracian needed to be stopped. If they knew it

too, if we gave them purpose, a cause. They may work half as hard as I did, perhaps even harder!

Thats enough! said Brutis. I assure you, young man. Im going to tell my men everything they need toknow, do not lump me in with these others in your moaning and whining.

I clenched my teeth, yet here you are, behind the void shield conspiring with them anyway. By the way,


31/55

am I ever going to get a thank you? Any sort of appreciation for all I did to save all your arses?

No, stated Glaitis, bluntly. Because you do not deserve it, Apprentice. While what you did was quiteadmiral. I will give you that much, it is going to mean nothing because of your earlier actions, guided byyour selfishness and cowardice.

I sighed, surely she didnt need to say both selfishness and cowardice. Surely that was a littleredundant?

The pict I took, right?

Indeed, she said and looked to Wesley who sighed.

I told you that that was my masters Interrogator and daughter, right? said Wesley.

Yeah, you did, I said, although Id already forgotten her name.

Wesley, looked around at everyone guiltily, over the past few years my master, Inquisitor Devan Torathe,has been....How can I explain this? Losing his mind. He, ironically, used to be quite the radical. A memberof the ordo Malleus who knew not everything was black and white and fought for the people. I do not knowwhy, but he has fallen into extreme puritanism. He follows the Libricar philosophy, which was at completeodds with his old ideals.

I raised an eyebrow, Libricar philosophy?

Wesley finally looked at me directly, its uhh, a well Id say a radical sect of the Inquisition thats grown inthe Calixis sector for some time. The Libricars are just like the Amalathians but more extreme.

And what are the hell are the Amalathians? I asked with a furrowed brow.

They follow a philosophy which deems everything is according to the God-Emperors great plan, they

fight for the Imperium to stay the same. For us to keep the status quo. Progress and change is theiranathema. Libricars take this ideal even further. They believe that whatever deviation no matter how smallis grounds for death, without exception, said Wesley, patiently but not condescending.

Okay, I said, glancing at everyone around the room, they all avoided my look, even Brutis. So what? ThisDevan Torathe was an extremist, what did that, did that...

Then it hit me, making my mouth gape and my eyes widen. That was his dead daughter I took the pict of.What was this supposedly psychotic, uncompromising Inquisitor going to do after he saw it?

Wesley looked at me sadly, it gets worse, kid. Much worse. This whole mission was a secret, after Brutis

found this evidence and came to us, we started it independently of master Torathe.

Why? I asked, utterly confounded by this.

Because, Wesley sighed. Because both Edracian and Torathe were once Interrogators together underthe same Inquisitor. They are old, old friends. Amanda and I

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Secret War IV

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