Self Concept Who are you ? Chapter

2 in text

• Our self concept is simply the way we see our selves and thus present ourselves to others.

• It is made up of three diminutions…..– Values ….our core motivators– Beliefs ….our sense of likes and dislikes– Attitudes ….behaviors that follow values and beliefs

• VALUES …are the fundamental motivators to all of our actions and thoughts.

• Values are the most resistant to change.

• They can be linked to how we wish to identify ourselves….

– Parent– Student– A good friend– An honest person– …….make your own !

• Beliefs …. Are formed from past experiences that we have had.....be they positive or negative!

• We choose to believe things that have been proven to use from past experiences.

• Self-fulfilling-prophecy is the ability to make our beliefs come true.– I believe that I will not be successful in this program

and my attitude will insure it!

• Attitudes ... The way we behave and interact with others.

• Attitudes can be changed more easily along with beliefs and finally values.

Values

Attitudes

Beliefs

Our different Selves

• We have all deferent “ selves “ the we choose to present to other.

• The back stage self ….. The person you are when your at home in your safe / un-judgmental place.

• The onstage self ..... The person you wish to be seen as……the public / professional self.

• The material self ….. For those to choose to link their identity by what they have.

• The spiritual self ….. The inner you , the person inside yourself that motivates you and guides you through life ….. – It may or may

not be based upon religion.

How does self concept develop ? • We learn as children who we are by interacting

with others ( adults / children) ……we become who they tell us we are !!!!

• This is known as a looking glass self or reflected appraisal.

• As small children our invitation to the world is based upon how others see or label us……an example of this would be our names– We identify with our names– We respond to our names– Our names can act as labels (assuming

you have a unique one )

– You began in this world with a given name, not your own ! ….. I hope it’s working for you !!

• In most cases our self concept is already hard wired at a very early age, 6 to 8.

• By that age we already have a sound idea who we are !

• The plans have already been implemented and the rest of life is window dressing.

• We believe and learn to believe repeated messages about our selves …. Negative or Positive.

• The negative tend to be more concerning so those messages are prolonged.

• We value statements from those we trust !• We value constancy so if we hear the same

comments from different people they must be true ! – You can see the effect this would have on anyone

living in a negative environment.

Social Roles • At an early age we take on social roles as we

interact with others.– The bully– The victim– The helper– The clown– The good child– The parent sibling– …..add your own !

pick one that relates to your childhood

• As we grow we can take on individual roles that meet our value system… a value system that has been nurtured through childhood.– The good student– The wife / mother– The athlete– The drop out– The overachiever– The super hero helper– The family mediator – The rescuer– ….Add your own

• All of these adult roles are effected by early interaction and confirmed through current interaction.

Pick one that relates to you and trace it to your past

Self Esteem • Self esteem is directly attached to self worth !• We all measure our self worth by comparing

ourselves to others…. “ Social Comparison “• Social Comparison really kicks in during early

school years……how we see ourselves doing compared to others around us.

we experience life as a race

• Self – esteem issues lead directly to life problems.• Low self-worth leads to poor relationships,

stagnate careers, high mental health rates and over all wellness issues.

• Low self esteem and self worth can be passed on to our children through modeling.

How do I fix this ?• Positive self talk ….. Re-record positive messages

over the negative ones…… positive self fulfilling prophecy.

• Visualize a positive self image of your self …using mind over matter

• Avoid Comparing yourself to others….life's a journey not a race !

• Develop positive authentic relationships.• Let go of the past and seek support.