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Balanced Leadership: The Role of
Behavior Styles and Emotional IntelligenceMorris W. Beverage Jr., EDM
President, Lakeland Community College
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Balanced Leadership:The Role of Behavior Styles
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Exercise: Let’s Discover
Something Ao!t "!rselves#
Complete your individual profile
Selet t!e "ord t!at most desri#esyou at "ork
$!ere are no rig!t or "rong ans"ers
%o one "ill see your seletions
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$o!r Behavior Style %rofile
W!i! &you' "as your fous at t!e
time you ompleted t!e profile(
E)ternal onditions and situations
e)ist at t!e present time t!at may
impat your urrent response
*void la#els
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Tas&s vs' %eople
More, #etter, faster Capa#le, ompetent
Likea#le
Tas&s %eople
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%rocess vs' Expediency
$!oroug!,ompre!ensive, needto make one +-$
deision/ast, gut, 0uik
%rocess Expediency
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Behavior Styles
Task
People
Process(Ask)
Expediency(Tell)
A c c u r a c y
A c t i o n
A p p r
o v a l A
p p r e c i a t i o n
ANALYZER CONTROLLER
STABILIZER PERSUAER
(o)
(o "i#$)
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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(reating $o!r %rofile
Step 2ne $ally your results
Step $"o Complete page 3 4Bar -rap!5
Step $!ree Complete page 6 4StyleCom#inations5
Step /our /ind your om#inations 4Pages
7893 or pg. 9: for 2ver#alane5Step /ive -roup yourselves #y style
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Disc!ssion
; +evie" your style as summari<ed on t!e
=uik +eferene Card and disuss "it!
your style group
; Do t!ese desriptions ring true for you(
; Do t!ey make sense to you( Do t!eysuggest approa!es t!at you appreiate or
to "!i! you respond positively(
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A)AL$*ERS
; $endeny to"ard perfetionism
; Deisions and information provided are
usually aurate and t!oug!tful
; Deal "it! fats, data, logi, details
; Sometimes slo" to make deisions
; May appear overly autious and not good
risk8takers; /eelings and emotions kept inside
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ositives and )egatives per Style
A
+
ndustrious
Persistent
Serious
E)ating
2rderly
,
Critial
ndeisive
Stuffy
Piky
Moralisti
(
S %
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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Analy-ers in Teams#
Contri#utions ; Pereived as t!oroug!, analytial andaurate, a#ove all else
; /ous on getting t!ings rig!t 4emp!asison &task' rat!er t!an &people'5
Limitations ; Can overanaly<e t!ings t!at don>t"arrant t!e attention 4analysis8paralysis5
; Conern for getting it rig!t an slo" orfree<e t!e team>s progress
; Can #e pereived as aloof and !ave ane)essive onern "it! perfetion t!atan stifle reativity in t!e group
/ear ; ?n"arranted personal ritiism
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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.ith Analy-ers#
D" D")’T
Prepare in advane
Be aurate
Be diret
List pros and onsPresent speifis
Be persistent
?se timeta#les for ations
Provide tangi#le, pratial
evidene
Be disorgani<ed or messy
Be asual, informal or loud
+us! deision8making
/ail to follo" t!roug!Waste time
Leave t!ings to !ane
$!reaten or a@ole
?se opinions as evidene
Be manipulative
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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STABILI*ERS
; &Warm and fu<<ies'
; People and friends!ips are very important
; -ood at @uggling multiple tasks
; Conerned a#out feelings of ot!ers
; Dependa#le
; *greea#leA less inlined to speak t!eir mind
openly; Can get !urt feelings or #e offended easily
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ositives and )egatives per Style
A (
S
+
Supportive
+espetful
Willing
Dependa#le
*greea#le
,
Conforming
?nsure
Plia#le
Dependent
*"k"ard
%
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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Staili-ers in Teams#Contri#utions ; 2ften vie"ed #y team mem#ers as a
good team player ; Empat!eti and sensitive to t!e needs
of ot!ers; Likes !armony in team
Limitations ; Can #e indeisive, un"illing to onfrontdiretly, and resist !ange
; Beause of t!eir need to maintain team!armony, t!eir o"n needs may #esuppressed. 2ver time, t!is an auseresentment and a degree of passive8
aggressiveness; %ot inlined to ele#rate t!eiraomplis!ments, yet t!ey an #eomefrustrated and per!aps resentful if t!eirontri#utions go unnotied too long
/ear ; Confusion, !aos, and !ange1 Effetiveness nstitute
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.ith Staili-ers#
D" D")’T
Start "it! a personal omment
S!o" sinere interest in t!emas people
Listen and #e responsiveBe asual and non8t!reatening
*sk &!o"' 0uestions
Wat! for !urt feelings
Provide assuranes
+us! into #usiness
Stik onstantly to #usiness
/ore t!em to respond 0uikly
Be demandingDe#ate fats figures
Be a#rupt
Be patroni<ing
Deide for t!em
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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(")TR"LLERS
; Strong, deisive and results8oriented
; Provide strong guidane for ot!ers
; May appear pus!y at times
; Demanding of #ot! t!emselves and ot!ers
; ig!ly self8ritial
; EffiientA resent t!ose "!o &"aste' time
"it! idle !it8!at
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ositives and )egatives per Style
A
+
Strong8"illed
ndependent
Pratial
DeisiveEffiient
,
Pus!y
Severe
$oug!
Dominatingars!
(
S %
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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(ontrollers in Teams#
Con#ri%&#ions
; A%le #o 'ake decisions "$enno one else "an#s #o
; Is no# araid #o conron# #o&$iss&es
; E'%races c$ane as a
personal c$alleneLi'i#a#ions ; Can %e percei*ed as o*erly
opiniona#ed+ co'%a#i*e+arroan#+ i'pa#ien#+ and likec$ane or c$ane,s sake
; -ay o*erex#end $i'.$erseld&e #o co'pe#in priori#iesand %eco'e ine/cien#
0ear ; Losin con#rol
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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.ith (ontrollers#
D" D")’T
Be speifi #rief
Stik to #usiness
Be prepared
Present fats learly *sk &"!at' 0uestions
Provide alternative solutions
$ake issue "it! fats
+am#le or "aste time
Be disorgani<ed or messy
Leave loop!oles or #e unlear
*sk r!etorial 0uestionsMake deisions for t!em
Speulate
Be diretive
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ERS/ADERS
; Like to get ot!ers involved in ativities
; ig!ly reative and ent!usiasti
; 2perate primarily #y intuition
; Party peopleA like to !ave a good time; Little tolerane for t!ose "!o are not
e)pressive
; Easily #ored or distrated
; Diffiult to keep on task
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ositives and )egatives per Style
A (
S
+
*m#itious
Stimulating
Ent!usiasti
Dramati
/riendly
,
Manipulative
E)ita#le
?ndisiplined
+eating
Egotistial
%
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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%ers!aders in Teams#
Contri#utions ; as great ent!usiasm for "orking "it!ot!ers
; nspires and motivates ot!ers; *l"ays availa#le to ot!ers; -ives positive feed#ak easily to
ot!ers
Limitations ; Can #e pereived as disorgani<edand superfiial in t!eir approa! totasks and people
; Can overdo emotional e)pression
/ear ; Being #lamed or disliked
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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.ith %ers!aders#
D" D")’T
Be fast8moving, entertaining
Leave time for soiali<ing
$alk a#out t!eir goals
Deal "it! t!e &#ig' piture *sk for t!eir opinions ideas
Provide e)amples from peoplet!ey #elieve are important2ffer inentives or re"ards
Legislate
Be old, aloof, or tig!t8lipped
Press for solutions
Deal "it! detailsBe dogmati
$alk do"n to t!em
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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(onstr!ctive 0eedac&
$o! are an expert on
O#$er people,s %e$a*ior
Yo&r eelins
$o! are )"T an expert on
Yo&r %e$a*ior
O#$er people,s eelins
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%hilosophy of a
1ood (omm!nicator
*ssume 9 of t!e responsi#ility for
understanding "!at t!e ot!er personmeans.
*ssume 9 of t!e responsi#ility for
making sure t!at t!e person you areommuniating "it! understands you .
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Trust and RespectAc$ie*e'en#
Accep#ance
0li$# 0i$#
Thinking Activity
IntuitionRelationships
Respec# (reard or)
T r & s #
( r e l y o n )
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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.hy Increase 0lexiility2
; Fou "ant to understand !o" ot!ers see you.
; Fou value #eing more effetive "it! ot!ers.
; Fou are "illing to o#tain a more realisti
piture of your impat.
; Fou pay attention a"are pik up lues.
; Fou allo" ade0uate time to learn !o" to
ad@ust.
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Impact of Tension on Behavior
o" does tension impat our #e!avior(
Do all styles reat t!e same "ay(W!at !appens "!en "e an>t get rid of
t!e tension(
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3ariales impacting
TE)SI"),REA(TI")
/amily of 2rigin
Cultural %orms
Personal Belief System
World Gie"
("RE SIT/ATI")AL
W!at is !appening(
W!o is t!e person
involved(
W!o else is present or
involved(
W!ere is t!is !appening(
W!at is my urrent energy
level(
$!ere are t"o important varia#les t!at influene
"!at you "ill do under tensionH
;The Efectiveness Institute, 20091 Effetiveness nstitute
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Sit!ational Responses , Initially
W$D+*W
$*IE C2%$+2L
GE+B*L *$$*CI
*C=?ESCE
P
C
S
A
1 Effetiveness nstitute
INITIAL REACTIONS TO
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A C
S P
INITIAL REACTIONS TOTENSION & STRESS
Res&l#s Res&l#s
E '
o # i o n s
E '
o # i o n s
Con#rolled
Responsi*e
Process Expedien#
TAKE CONTROL
ATTACK !ERBALL"#
AC$%IESCE
IT'(RA
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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Tension , Reaction Behavior
%itpik
Leave
Prove t!ey are &rig!t'
Pull a"ayWit!!old emotions
E)plode
Blame
Ditate
$ake ontrolSuppress emotions
Wait too long to at
$ell ot!ers
*void-ive in get even
Worry emotionally
Ger#al attak
$alk a#out everyt!ing
Cry&Dump' it forget it
2verreat emotionally
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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(ontin!al )eed Deprivation
ithdra)
TakeCon#rol
A##ackAc1&iesce
2i#$dra"
Ta*e Control
A##ackAc1&iesce
2i#$dra"
TakeCon#rol
A##ack
Ac+uiesce
2i#$dra"
TakeCon#ro
l
Attac*
Ac1&iesce
In#eri#yA
Respec#C
P
Tr&s#
S
Loyal#y
1 Effetiveness nstitute
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The ,ones o- Co.-ort
C&rren# S#a#e
e s i r
e d S # a
# e
Co'or# isco'or# 0ear
here Learnin/ 0 Chan/e
Occurs
.hen and 4o5 Do .e Learn 6 (hange2
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A"areness
In#era#ion
Skill
A"k"ardnessPrac#ice
C$oice
Stages of Learning
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S!ggested Reading
; %eople Styles at .or&: 7a&ing BadRelationships 1ood and 1ood RelationshipsBetter' +o#ert Bolton and Dorot!y -rover Bolton
; Social Style67anagement Style: Developing
%rod!ctive .or& Relationships. +o#ert Boltonand Dorot!y -rover Bolton
; %ersonal Styles 8 Effective %erformance7a&e $o!r Style .or& for $o!' David W. Merrill,
P!.D., +oger . +eid, M.*.; 4o5 to Spea& and Listen Effectively' arvey *.
+o##ins
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Balanced Leadership:
The Role of Emotional
Intelligence
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Leadership
nfluening #e!aviors, t!oug!ts, feelings of...!uman #eings.
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Leadership
; &Leaders!ip is one of t!e least
understood p!enomena on eart!.' James MacGregor Burns
; &Leaders!ip !as #een t!e su#@et of
an e)traordinary amount of
dogmatially stated nonsense.'Chester Barnard
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B!ilding A Leader
• P$ysical *i#ali#y 3s#a'ina
• In#ellience
• Prac#ical 4&d'en#
• 5ision• Si#&a#ional
co'pe#ence (thekno!edge a !eader has o"the task at hand#
• A'%i#ion
• Skill in &nders#andin3 dealin "i#$ people(inc!uding "o!!oers$
constituents#
• Orani6ed
• Capaci#y #o inspireo#$ers
• 7i$ e#$ical s#andards
• 2illinness #o #akerisks
• C$aris'a . 'ane#is'
• Ora#orical skills as a
p&%lic speaker• Adap#a%ili#y+ 8exi%ili#y
o approac$
• 2illinness #o accep#responsi%ili#y
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7a&ing the (ase for Emotional Intelligence
I9 vs' E9
.hat is I92
.hat is E92
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I'9' Intelligence 9!otient;
* num#er t!at s!o"s t!e rating of a personKsintelligene. t is found #y dividing t!e mental
age, as s!o"n in tests, #y t!e atual age 49:
is t!e largest age used5 and multiplying it #y
9.
Intelligence Test
*ny test used to measure mental development.
Most intelligene tests inlude tasks involving
memory, reasoning, definitions, numerial a#ility,
and realling fats.
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Descriptions
Cognitive apaitiesA
$e!nial e)pertiseA EduatedA
Ino"8!o"A ntelletA SmartsA
SkillsA Book8learning.
= 4t!e 0uotient omponent5 tends not
to !ange mu! past our teen years.
.hy2
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.hat Then Is EI2
; E. I. 4as defined #y World Book5
t!e a#ility to understand oneself and to
empat!i<e "it! ot!ers.
&$!e p!rase emotional intelligene> "as
oined... to desri#e 0ualities like
understanding oneKs o"n feelings' and t!eregulation of emotion in a "ay t!at en!anes
living.>'
:+ Epperson+ S:E:+ -ondi+ L:+ 9ra;+ <:L:+ To"le+ L:7: (=>>? Oc# @): T$e E ac#or: TIME:
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Descriptions
C!araterA PersonalityA Soft skillsA Soiallyapa#leA Self8onfidentA -ood ommuniator.
<I9 gets yo! the intervie5 =E9 gets yo! the >o'?
7isconceptionsEI does not merely mean &#eing nie.' %ordoes it mean allo"ing free rein to yourfeelings or &letting it all !ang out.'
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T5o Different @inds of Intelligence
Intellect!al
and
Emotional
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Research 0indings
)e!roscience Research
/inding t!at intellet is #ased solely on t!e"orkings of t!e neo8orte) 4t!e rational #rain5,
t!e more reently evolved layers at t!e top oft!e #rain. Emotional enters lo"er in t!e#rain, loser to t!e #rainstem, in t!e moreanient su#8orte) or lim#i system 4t!e
emotional #rain5. $!ese t"o different parts oft!e #rain learn differently. Emotional entersresult in skills grounded in our evolutionary!eritage for survival and adaptation.
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1ender Differences2
.omen tend to #e more a"are of t!eir
emotions, s!o" more empat!y and are adept
interpersonally.
7en tend to #e more self8onfident andoptimisti, adapt more easily, and !andle
stress #etter.
o"ever, on t!e "!ole,men and "omen are generally e0ual
in total emotional intelligene.
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S!rvey of o Descriptions
Position1 I$ E$
Clerical
S&per*isory
-anaerial
Presiden#
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S!rvey of Attendees Responses to
9!estion of <o challenges?
I$ I$0E$ E$
I Need coni#i*e skills or
co'pe#encies #o addressc$allene:
E Need e'o#ional skills or
co'pe#encies #o addressc$allene:
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The Emotional (ompetence
0rame5or&Personal Co.petence
Social Co.petence
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Sel-A)areness
Sel -anae'en# Social A"areness
Rela#ions$ip -anae'en#
SocialCo.petenciesSocialCo.petencies
PersonalCo.petencies
PersonalCo.petencies
2our (o.ains o- E.otional
Intelli/ence
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Pride and PrejudicePride and Pre@udie
!ideo
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%ERS")AL vs.%"SITI")AL
POER BASE
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The 1ood and The BadExercise
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1REAT LEADERS 7"3E /S
thro!gh o!r emotions
5hich are contagio!s'
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ECER(ISE
; $!ink of a leader for "!om or "it! "!omyou "orked 8 one t!at you "ould gladly"ork "it! or for again.
; $!ink of a person in a leaders!ip positiont!at you try to avoid, or left you drained, or!oping for more.
; Desri#e ea! person( o" did t!ey makeyou feel(
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The 1ood , Descriptions
1ood Boss
Gisionary
umorous
Iind
*ppreiative
-oodommuniator
Clear, preise4ommuniation5
4ard 5or&er
Empat!eti
-ood team#uilder
Positive
Et!ial
Res!lts,oriented vs'process;
1ood Retail Experience
/riendly
*pproa!a#le
-ood Listener
Caring
@no5ledgeale$ook $ime
+efletive
Conerned
+esponsive
*#ove Beyond
Self Confident
$ook 2"ners!ip
C!eerfulelpful
nsig!tful
*ommodating
Persona#le
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The Bad , Descriptions
Bad BossDisrespetful
Belligerent
Demeaning
Moody
%egative?net!ial
Incompetent
Disouraging
Self8a#sor#ed
Inconsistentdirection
Ginditive
Ego8maniaPrideful
Manipulative
Paranoid
Bad Retail Experience+ude
eadstrong
nsensitive
Closed
?n!elpful?nprofessional
?nonerned
/ntrained
Incompetent
?net!ial
La<y Bored
Blame ot!ers
Smarmy *rrogant
Condesending
%on8responsive
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The 1ood , 0eelings
1ood BossEmpo5ered
Enth!siastic
3al!ed
Energi-ed
4opef!l(onfident
Safe
Relaxed
Mutual admiration
Respected
7otivated to excel
1ood Retail ExperienceSatisfied
$o! 5ereimportant
3al!ed
(!stomer for lifeRelieved
Pleasant
2pen
1ratef!l
mpressed
.orthy
3alidated
4appy
E!alEnco!raged
4opef!l
Special
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The Bad , 0eelings
Bad BossLittle smalldemeaned
4opeless
St!pid
Drained3ery Stressed
Angry
0earf!l
Depressed
/nappreciated
Incompetent
Reellio!s
.ithdra5n
/ncooperative/nprod!ctive
Eager tosaotage
Bad Retail ExperienceAngry
Ignored
Deval!ed
/nimportant
3engef!l4elpless
/nsatisfied
Disrespected
/nsafe 63!lnerale
/sed 8A!sed
0r!strated
3ictimi-ed
Disappointed
Discontent
StressedDistressed
In shoc&
Diselief
Drained
4opeless
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INTENT 3
I4PACT
INTENT 3
I4PACT
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?
INTENT 303
I4PACT
INTENT 303
I4PACT
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Intent vs' Impact
People "it! !ig!ly8developed EI are a"are
of t!eir MP*C$.
$!ey are autely a"are t!at t!e impat t!at behavior !as on ot!ers an #e different
from "!at you intend or e)pet.
People respond to you #ased upon "!at
t!ey pereive a#out your #e!avior, not what
you think they perceive.
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Intelligence
Intellect!al
Emotional
S!ggested Reading
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S!ggested Reading
-oleman, D., 49NN35. Emotional intelligence: .hy it can
matter more than I9' %e" ForkH Bantam.
-oleman, D. 49NN75. .or&ing 5ith emotional
intelligence' %e" Fork, %FH Bantam.
-oleman, D. 4O5. Leadership that gets res!lts'arvard Business +evie" Mar!8*pril, 7O87.
-oleman, D., Boyat<is, +., MIee, *. 4OO5. %rimal
leadership: Learning to lead 5ith emotional
intelligence' Boston, M*H arvard Business S!oolPress.
Sterrett, E.*. 4O5. The manager’s poc&et g!ide to
emotional intelligence' *m!erst, M*H +D Press.
E.otional Intelli/ence5 Learnin/
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E.otional Intelli/ence5 Learnin/4o.ents
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The Experience
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Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
/rank 2utla"
0ood for Tho!ght
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(oncl!ding Tho!ghts
ere is Ed"ard Bear,
oming do"nstairs no",
#ump, #ump, #ump
on t!e #ak of !is !ead
#e!ind C!ristop!er +o#in.
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(oncl!ding Tho!ghts
t is, as far as Ed"ard kno"s,
t!e only "ay of oming
do"nstairs.
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(oncl!ding Tho!ghts
But sometimes,
!e feels t!at t!ere is anot!er "ay,
if only !e ould stop
#umping for a
moment, and t!ink
a#out it.
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Thank %ou&
Balanced Leadership:
The Role of Behavior Styles andEmotional Intelligence
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ADDE)D/7 to
Behavior Styles andEmotional Intelligence
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%otentially (ompatile Relationships
Controller and *naly<er
*naly<er and Sta#ili<er
Sta#ili<er and Persuader
Controller and Persuader
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Behavior Styles: Tr!st
; /or t!is disussion, &trust' meansI can rely on you for repeated patterns of
expected behavior .
T$ere is percei*ed a&#$en#ici#yD yo& arereal+ yo& are en&ine:
T$ere is a percei*ed pa##ern in
%e$a*ior: I '&s# %elie*e yo& CARE:
h i
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The TR%ST Continuu.
T R % S T
U n # r & s # " o r # $ y
i s # r & s
#
S k e p # i c a
l
- a y % e
C o n d i # i o n a
l
T r & s # " o r # $ y
U n
c o n d i # i o n a
l
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Behavior Styles: Respect
; W!ile trust ties to t!e !emistry part of arelations!ip, &respet' ties to t!e talents
and skills a person brings to the
relationship.
I# is #ied #o #$e ac# #$a# yo& are ood a#doin so'e#$in:
I $a*e a $i$ reard orF yo&r a%ili#y #o&se yo&r #alen#s and skills:
Th RESPECT C ti
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The RESPECT Continuu.
R E S P E C T
i s r e s p e c #
N o R e s p e c #
o n
o # R e s p e c #
- a y % e
& e R e s p e c #
R e s p e c # & l
A d ' i r e
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Emotional Intelligence (onsiderations
o" an "e strengt!en ompeteniest!at are urrently less developed(
o" does t!is information s!ape t!e "ay
"e guide and interat "it! ot!ers( o" does our understanding of #e!avior
styles impat our EI(
o" an "e use t!is information to #e#etter leaders in our "ork( n t!eommunity(
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Developing $o!r Emotional Intelligence
*ting Wit! ntegrity
Diffiult !oies our
*lign !oies "it! ore values
%egative impat from #eing &out of alignment'
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/nderstanding the Applicaility of EI
-ifted individuals "!o are e)eptionally #rig!tan also #e remarka#ly ineffetive andunprodutive
Consider your o"n area of e)pertise8 "!i!omponents are intelletual and "!i! areemotional( 4Banking, Pu#li *dministration,Eduation, Servie Providers, Engineering,Community Development, et5
Be!aviors are learned and an #e &unlearned'
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Another 3ie5
Per Daniel -oleman
EI refers to t!e apaity for reogni<ing our o"n feelings
and t!ose of ot!ers, for motivating ourselves and for
managing emotions "ell in ourselves and in our
relations!ips.
and
EI is t!e &a#ility to motivate oneself and persist in t!e fae
of frustrations, to ontrol and delay gratifiation, to
regulate one>s moods, to empat!i<e and to !ope.' 4p. Q5
9ole'an+ : (=>>?): Emotiona! inte!!igence' h% it can matter more than I)* Ne" YorkG
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The (ase for Emotional Intelligence
; L>2real sales agents seleted on t!e#asis of E ompetenies
SiniHcan#ly o&#sold sales people
selec#ed &sin old proced&res: Sold J>=+KM 'ore #$an o#$er aen#s
or a ne# re*en&e increase o o*er J@:?'illion:
7ad K less #&rno*er d&rin #$eirHrs# year:
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The (ase for Emotional Intelligence
; *fter supervisors in a manufaturing plantreeived E training
Los# #i'e acciden#s "ere red&ced %y
?M 0or'al rie*ances "ere red&ced ro'
an a*erae o =? per year #o K peryear
T$e plan# exceeded prod&c#i*i#y oals%y J@?M+MMM
A (
S %
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Sel-6A)areness
no"in one,s in#ernal s#a#es+preerences+ reso&rces and in#&i#ions:
E'o#ional A"arenessAcc&ra#e Selassess'en#
SelconHdence
PERSONAL CO-PETENCE
PERSONAL CO-PETENCE
A (
S %
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Sel-6Re/ulation
-anain one,s in#ernals#a#es+ preerences andreso&rces:
Selcon#rol
Tr&s#"or#$inessConscien#io&sness
Adap#a%ili#yInno*a#ion
4otivation
E'o#ional #endencies#$a# &ide or acili#a#ereac$in oals:
Ac$ie*e'en# ri*e
Co''i#'en#Ini#ia#i*eOp#i'is'
PERSONAL CO-PETENCE
Sel- 4ana/e.ent
SOCIAL CO-PETENCE
A (
S %
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E.pathy
A"areness o o#$ers, eelins+needs and concerns:
Unders#andin O#$erse*elopin O#$ersSer*ice Orien#a#ion
Le*erain i*ersi#y
Poli#ical A"areness
SOCIAL CO-PETENCE
SOCIAL CO-PETENCE
A (
S %
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Social S*ills
Adep#ness a# ind&cin desira%le
res&l#s ro' o#$ers:
In8&enceCo''&nica#ion
Con8ic# -anae'en#Leaders$ip
C$ane Ca#alys#B&ildin Bonds
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(omm!nication is#
; ?nderstanding #et"een and amongpeople
; *n interdependent proess
; %ot neessarily agreement; Constant. Fou annot %2$ ommuniate.
We onstantly ommuniate, and "e
onstantly reeive ommuniation fromot!ers.
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Basic %rinciples of (omm!nication
; N of interpersonal ommuniationtakes plae on t!e unonsious level.
; People @udge you #y your behavior , not
your intent.
; People are motivated #y their needs, not
yours.
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(omm!nicating Thro!gh 0ilters
values
assu.ptions
interests pre7udice
stron/ -eelin/s
past e8perience
e8pectations
physical environ.ent
.e.ories
attitudes
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4o5 .e (omm!nicate
; W!at people an see; W!at people an !ear
; W!at "e atually say
Communiation is in t!e mind of t!e
reipient. Fou>re @ust making noise if t!e
ot!er person doesn>t !ear you.
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Effective (omm!nicators#
; ?nderstand !o" ommuniation ours; ?nderstand t!eir o"n ommuniation #e!avior
style
; Learn to diagnose t!e ommuniation needs of
ot!ers; Develop listening skills
; Communiate "it! ot!ers in a "ay t!at issensitive to and a"are of t!eir needs
Easier said than done, huh?
. ld ’ i if ld
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.o!ldn’t it e great if yo! co!ld#
; ?nderstand !o" your preferred style of "orking omesaross to ot!er people(
; &+ead' ot!er people>s #e!avior so you>ll kno" t!e #est
"ay to "ork "it! t!em(
; /ind ommon ground "it! people "!ile maintainingyour individuality and integrity(
; *d@ust your #e!avior in small "ays t!at dramatially
improve results among different styles(
; +elate effetivelyRno matter !o" ot!ers reat to you(eople !tyles at Work" #aking $ad %elationships &ood and &ood
%elationships $etter. +o#ert Bolton and Dorot!y -rover Bolton.
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“Trust me Mort – no electronic-communications superhighway, no matter
how vast and sophisticated, will ever replace the art of the schmooze.”
Eff ti ( i ti T h i
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Effective (omm!nication Techni!es
; ?se feed#ak; C!oose appropriate 4and per!aps multiple5
!annels E'ail+ p$one+ oneononeQ
A'o&n# o inor'a#ion and #i'inQ; Be sensitive to t!e reeiver ; Be a"are of o#serva#le #e!aviors and
sym#oli meanings
; ?se simple language; ?se repetition
'ow to !peak and (isten Effectively , arvey *. +o##ins.
7 t ( % Li t i 4 it
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7ost (ommon %oor Listening 4aits
; %ot paying attention; &Pseudolistening'
; Listening #ut not !earing
; +e!earsing; nterrupting
; earing "!at is e)peted
; /eeling defensive
D l i % iti Li t i 4 it
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Developing %ositive Listening 4aits
; Paying attention; Listening for t!e "!ole message
; earing #efore evaluating
; Parap!rasing "!at "as !eard
O3 )ctivities for *eams, Pfeiffer Company
@ i t t t &
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@ey points to ta&e a5ay
$!ink a#out your ommuniation#e!avioral style $!ink a#out !o" you apply t!at style in dealing
"it! ot!ers, partiularly t!ose "it! ot!er styles +emem#er t!at ommuniation is more t!an
"ords *ssume real responsi#ility for your ommuniation
If yo! 5ant to get different res!lts $"/ haveto do things differently'
A ti Li t i
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Active Listening
; Minimi<e distrations; +edue p!ysial #arriers
; *void or limit interruptions
; Detet t!e entral idea
; Control your emotions
; Evaluate t!e message
; Be a"are of your p!ysial position and nonver#al#e!avior
; *llo" silene
; *sk pro#ing and oasional 0uestions; *kno"ledge and respond using parap!rasing,
pereption !eking and summari<ing
1i i ( t ti 0 d &
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1iving (onstr!ctive 0eedac&
' <.hen yo! ' ' '? Start "it! a &W!en you . . .' statement t!at desri#est!e #e!avior "it!out @udgment, e)aggeration,la#eling, attri#ution, or motives. Just state t!e fatsas speifially as possi#le.
F' <I feel ' ' '? $ell !o" t!eir #e!avior affets you. f you need moret!an a "ord or t"o to desri#e t!e feeling, it>spro#a#ly @ust some variation of @oy, sorro", anger,onern or fear.
G' <Beca!se I ' ' '? %o" say "!y you are affeted t!at "ay. Desri#e t!eonnetion #et"een t!e fats you o#served and t!efeelings t!ey provoke in you.
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Example: 1iving (onstr!ctive 0eedac&
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9. <.hen yo!#? &W!en you are late for team meetings,
O. <I feel#? get angry...
. <Beca!se I#? ... #eause t!ink it is "asting t!e time of allt!e ot!er team mem#ers and "e are nevera#le to get t!roug! all of t!e agenda items.'
Q. %a!se for disc!ssion;
3. <I 5o!ld li&e#? & "ould like you to onsider finding some "ayof planning your s!edule t!at lets you get tot!ese team meetings on time.'
:. <Beca!se#? &Beause t!at "ay "e an #e more produtiveat t!e team meetings and "e an all keep toour tig!t s!edules.'