K E L L O G G C O M M U N I T Y C O L L E G E

www.kel logg.edu/bruin

September 2013K E L L O G G C O M M U N I T Y C O L L E G E

Free and pricelessElizabeth Kerlikowske Advisor

Don’t throw away the little red book that came with your books at the book store! You did? Well, there’s more to be had around campus. The Pocket Prof will be a resource used in most classrooms this semester. A link to it is on the website, and it appears in the corner of all Moodle home pages. The Pocket Prof is a composition handbook designed to answer the most-asked questions about grammar and punctuation, research writing, writing basic essays, on-line communication, and career advice. A page is de-voted to writing snappy titles. The reasoning behind the different documentation formats is clearly explained. Additional copies can be found at the Learning Resource Center (LRC), the English department, and many other spots on the Battle Creek Campus and at the centers.

Lacy Janousek Co-Editor

Anna Cox actively searches for technology to improve her math classrooms or her life at home. Her passion for technology brought a new opportunity for a calcu-lus class at Kellogg Community College to use IPads for classroom and personal use for the entire fall semester. “I’m one of those people who frequently does pi-lots,” Cox, who has worked at KCC for 19 years, said. “I love finding new technology.” Techsmith is a company based in Okemos that cre-ates software, most commonly used for screen capturing and recording. Cox explained she has had a professional relationship with the company for more than six years. In August, Cox visited a Techsmith conference called Screen Cast Camp for the third year. After visit-ing the conference, an employee at Techsmith requested her friendship on Facebook. Later that afternoon, other Techsmith employees contacted her and offered her the opportunity to use the iPads. “Networking is so incred-ibly important,” Cox said. “It’s amazing what social me-dia can do.” Techsmith offered Cox the chance for each student in her Calculus III class to use an iPad for the school year if in return they tested their new software, Ask3. “They’re an amazing company,” Cox said. "The soft-ware is a secure way for students to communicate when they face challenges with class work or homework." “Ask3 is a closed environment where any student in the class can make a video via the software, and any stu-dent can make a video or text back,” Cox explained. “I can make a video saying I have no idea how to do num-ber four, but a fellow classmate can reply and say here’s how I did it.” Kerry Korpela, a student at KCC, toyed with the

IPad during the first day of class. “It’s a really good way to connect with technology the further along math goes because they go hand in hand,” Korpela said. She hopes Ask3 will increase her understanding of calculus; however, students are able to use the IPads for personal use as well. “Students can download appropriate things just like it’s theirs,” Cox explained. “But we will be focusing on interactive group work. I’m hoping when students have questions with problems, they’ll interact this way.” Cox’s Calculus III classes will not be the only stu-dents benefiting from Techsmith’s loaner gadgets. Next semester, Sue Stetler’s Elementary Math class will also

use the IPads and the Ask3 software. “It’s giving potential teachers a skill that will be ben-eficial in the classroom,” Cox explained. She also plans to use the loaner IPads to further technology use at KCC. “I’m hoping once all the data from this year is col-lected that I will be able to write some grants to get per-manent iPads on campus,” Cox said. Though nothing is definite yet, she is setting goals for the 2014-2015 school year. “This loan is a huge honor,” Cox explained. “Very few have been given this opportunity, and this is a huge feather in KCC’s cap.”

Technology test subjects

The Pocket Prof was born during a conversation with the Writing Initia-tive Steering Committee at the Cutie Pie Café. Despite the title, the com-mittee was doing the hard work of re-sponding to the writing needs of the campus as a whole. Professor Matt Samra edited the Prof and insisted it be red like Chairman Mao’s famous “little red book.” After all, these are the commonly acknowledged “laws” of grammar. Other members of the steering committee include Pro-fessors Ron Davis, Elizabeth Ker-likowske, Glenda Morling, Lynn Smolarkiewicz, Michelle Wright and librarian Kelly Frost. Before The Pocket Prof was the Email Initiative. If you missed that, a section in the Prof is devoted to it. Before students be-gin emailing professors, they would be well-advised to read this section. If you have feedback on The Pocket

Prof, please stop by the English Department (C 401) and let the editor know.

Kerry Korpela tries out an iPad on loan to her Calculus III class. photo by Lacy Janousek

The Pocket Prof is a free grammar aid to be found around campus. photo by Lacy Jamousek

Former Bruin editor, edges up on competitionpage 2

The scoop on the honors contractpage 3

What every woman should know about the bathroompage 7

Navigating what the library has to offerpage 6

Dakota's college football pickspage 8

September 20132 CAMPUS NEWS

Tiffany Thatcher Co-Editor

Every KCC student to take the next step, whether it be going on to a four year college or for the ambitious starting a new business. The Bruin’s former edi-tor Ann Michels decided to try the lat-ter. Michels, a recent KCC grad, opened the doors to her store Vint-edge on August 14th. Vint-edge, located at 114 Michigan Ave. in Marshall, is home to an eclectic mix of vintage furnishings, retro clothing, and hip jewelry. Whether you are a college student looking for unique pieces or an antique shopper looking for additions to your collections, Vint-edge has something for you. Michels describes her store as a mix of found treasures that have been recycled, upcycled, and remixed into vintage keep-sakes. Michels says, “I think the quality of the older things is so much better than the newer things out there. The older pieces are solid and you know that they aren’t go-ing to fall apart or need to be replaced in a few months. Gen X-ers or Gen Y’s are fi-nally thinking these things are cool again.” Michels strives to find pieces that are not just cool, but are multi-functional. The store is an arrangement of eye-catching, color-blocked vignettes. Each display is a diverse mixture of furnishings and cloth-ing, which can vary from Aeropostale or Hollister sweaters to vintage shoes and hats from the 1920’s. While most antique stores are dark and cluttered, Vint-edge is bright, cheery, and inviting.Michels credits her years at KCC with giving her the experience and the courage to pursue her dreams. She says, “Working as the editor of The Bruin taught me net-working and marketing. I was able to use those skills to cre-

ate flyers, displays, and promote my busi-ness on social media. I made so many lasting friendships at KCC. I loved the people and the vibe there, and was sad when it came time for me to leave, but I’m so excited about start-ing this next chapter of my life.” Michels has been collecting and selling her treasures for the last 24 years in antique malls across the area. With gas prices rising and a col-lege degree under her belt, she felt she was finally ready to take the plunge and combine all of her inventory under one roof. She decided to move everything to Marshall whose downtown is a haven of locally-owned antique and thrift stores. Relying on the business plan she created in a KCC marketing class taught by Kim Montney, she determined how to turn her hobby into a viable business. “My classes at KCC made me feel like I could do this and do it well,” said Michels. Opening a new business can be daunting and requires a dedicated sup-port team. Michels is grateful to have the help of her friends and family. Her boy-friend Chuck helps carry and display the larger pieces, while his daughter Rachel and Michel’s daughter Hailey pitch in by running the store for Michels who still works part time as a hair stylist. “It’s hec-tic and crazy but this is my life now 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I’m living my dreams, “says Michels with a big smile. Vint-edge is currently open Monday through Sunday from 11-5, but is looking to expand its hours soon.

Edge-ing out the competition

Dakota Roberts Sports Writer

On a hot and sticky July day in southern Michigan, most 13 year old boys would be sitting in the air conditioning; I was outside making sure the hogs stayed cool. That was one of the first hard les-sons I learned from my years dedicated to 4-H. Although on that July day in 2006 I would’ve preferred to be inside, I’m so glad my choice was to go outside. Life throws many curve balls that don’t nec-essarily end over the heart of the plate. There are so many things about life that 4-H taught me. Any child the age of 9 on Jan. 1 is old enough to join any large animal 4-H club. Unfortunately, I did not join until I was 12. I had to sacrifice my 90 E-ton four wheeler to purchase my first mar-ket hog. That first year was basically a learning year for my mother and I. We

had no idea what we were getting into. I believe I finished last in my market class, as well as showmanship. Any 12 year-old boy probably would’ve felt just as upset as I did, but on auction day our hard-work paid off. Al-though my mother and I didn’t have the slightest clue about how to train a hog or how to pick out a hog, we did work on getting possible buyers throughout the summer. Friday afternoon of the Calhoun County Fair is auction day. During the auction representatives from all the nearby businesses come in and support the 4-H’ers by purchasing their livestock. Many times you can tell if the kid went out and visited some businesses by the price the animal goes for. Although I had a last place hog, I sold it for almost dou-ble what the other last place hogs were going for. Fast-forward to the summer of 2013, and my 4-H age is 19. Nineteen is the last possible age for a kid to be in 4-H. Go-ing into the year I was well aware of that. I really wanted to go out with a big bang. Although we had a pretty good pen of

4 - H d a y s

Store shelves will be lined with an eclecticproduct mix.

Former Bruin editor Ann Michels stands outside her new antique shop, Vint-edge. photo provided by Ann Michels

hogs which place 3rd in their class, it wasn’t the outcome I was looking for. A lot like my first year I was disappoint-ed with the results, but like I say “hard work, pays off.” In-deed it did. I sold one of my hogs to Walters-Dimmick Petroleum of Marshall for more money than I ever have. In my 8 years of 4-H, I have won many awards and I have also finished towards the bottom as well. At the conclusion of the 2013 Calhoun County Fair I realized that despite what the judges said, I was truly a winner every year. I have made great friendships with other 4-H families that will last a lifetime. I have learned many things about animals

Dakota Roberts celebrated his last year at the Calhoun County Fair.photo provided by Dakota Roberts

and business throughout the years, but most importantly I have learned about life. Life without work is definitely just a myth.~Dakota Roberts wants to thank all of his friends and family for all their support.

Ann Michels is happy to join other antique shops in downtown Marshall.

photo provided by Ann Michelsphoto provided by Ann Michels

September 2013 3CAMPUS NEWS

Elizabeth Kerlikowske Advisor

If you haven’t noticed in the catalogue, there are no longer Honors courses. All Honors work will be done through con-tracts. Students in the Honors Program must complete four contracts in their two years here. However, Honors con-tracts are not just for Honors students. They are for anyone who wants to put in a little extra work, pass the class with a B+ or better, and craves the H designation on transcripts. An Honors contract is written up by the student with the instructor of choice’s supervision. When it is agreeable to both parties, it is then submitted electronically to the Honors program. www.kellogg.edu/studentlife/honors The contract is a chance for students to delve more deeply into an area that perhaps the class is skating over. It is NOT just about reading an extra book. It is about learning professionalism, and some sort of presentation of the work must be made to fulfill the contract, whether it’s in the community or in the class. Examples of contracts I’ve seen in-volved writing a book of poetry, build-

ing a small scale architectural project, taking a fairy tale and rewriting it from a minor character’s point of view and then attempting to get that published, read-ing three different approaches to base-ball (autobiography, fiction, poetry) and summarizing for the class as well as writ-ing a paper. It’s up to the student with faculty guidance. Being in the Honors program here allows students to transfer to other in-stitutions with Honors programs, which can be beneficial. Perks include early registration, special programs and trips, and hanging with other smart people. Honors program students at KCC have opportunities also: discounts on tickets, first dibs on bus trips, invitation to the Etiquette dinner, and more. There is also an Honors society, Phi Theta Kappa. Joining that helps students score Honors bling for graduation, and there are also scholarship opportunities. If you are a student or a faculty mem-ber and you’d like to know more, you can get in touch with the Honors advisor, Tom Webster, at (extension here), in the English department, C 401. There is also a group called the Honors Champions, and they have experience with contracts and would love to help guide you. They include Michelle Wright, Susan McCabe, Donn Montgomery, Ray DeBruler, Tom Webster, Elizabeth Kerlikowske, Anna Cox and others.

Please do me the Honors Contract

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September 20134 oPiNioN

Emom-cipation

Tiffany ThatcherCo Editor

Fall classes are starting at last! I can hear the collective groan. Most students dread going back to school. After the long lazy days of summer they do not look forward to returning to homework, deadlines, and responsibilities. I understand that I may be the only student that is excited to go back to school, but I have my reasons. I’m a stay-at-home mother of two boys who are seven and nine. I have spent the last three months saying, “Stop Fighting!” about 7,000 times. School is my escape. At school I get to interact with other adults. I can have intelligent conversations that are not interrupted by tattling. I can get on the computer or my phone without a little face peering over my shoulder asking, “Whatcha doing?” or “Can I play Angry Birds?” At school there is no Spongebob Squarepants, Jes-sie, or Phineas and Ferb theme song on repeat. I can sit and read or write with-out worrying about making breakfast or lunch. For a few short hours the only one I have to worry about is me. Yes, it sounds selfish but if you are a mom, then you understand. When I decided to have children, I knew that my life would change dramati-cally. I understood that there would be sleepless nights and gaping holes in my bank account. These things I was pre-pared for, but no one mentioned the

constant fights that occur when you have boys. I’m certain that when they go to bed at night my boys make bets to see who can send mom over the edge first. I can hear it already, “If you stick gum in my hair, then I get to smash a football into your face and while you’re crying, I get to make faces at you and wipe my boogers on your shirt.” Now I’m assum-ing that’s what they discuss. It’s possible that they are free thinkers and everything is improvised in the moment, but that seems a little choreographed for me. The boys and I have spent the ma-jority of the last three months alone to-gether. My boyfriend works twelve hours a day and when he gets home, it’s almost bed time so he doesn’t have to deal with the craziness. When he gets home, every-one is showered and relaxed and wind-ing down before bed. He is treated to the cuddly sweet boys that I used to know. The ones that want to snuggle up to your side and watch TV or read a story before bed. He then questions why large patches of my hair are laying on the floor and my voice is hoarse. How can I explain that I have been tearing my hair out screaming for them to just be nice to each other all day? He thinks he’s being the hero by al-lowing them to stay up a half hour later than usual. It’s at this point that I have to fight the urge to strangle him. I know he means well, but he really has no idea what I’ve been dealing with all day. Now none of that matters because it’s back to school time and I am free! No more getting up at six am to pour the milk on their cereal. No more shimmying along tree branches to dislodge Frisbees. No more drawing chalk dividing lines on the driveway because they can’t ride bikes without it turning into a demoli-tion derby. No more nonsense or silli-ness. Finally, I get some me time. I miss them already.

The older student

Dear Dr. D, This is my first semester at KCC and it is so much bigger than my little high school. I’m terrified that I will get lost or be late to my classes. Any ad-vice?Sincerely,Frightened Freshman

Dear F.F.,The first semester is always hard as you are experiencing a new culture, new expectations, and new things to learn both academically and socially. My advice is to ask questions! I think you will find the people who work at KCC really DO care about the students. We know YOU are the reason we are here, so we will help you as much as you can. Most of your professors will be a bit lenient on being late the first day. But once you know the routine, act like the adult we consider you to be, and be on time.You’ll do fine!Dr. D.

Dear Dr. D,All of my friends from high school have gone on to four year colleges and aregetting the full college experience of dorms, roommates, and fraternities. I feel like I’m missing out on all the fun by going to KCC. Do you think going to a community college was a good idea?Signed,Missing Out

Dear Missing Out,What are you missing out on? A tu-ition bill at least three times the one you have here? Unbelievable parking headaches if you live at home or life in a cinder-block dorm room with col-lege students bent on drinking their way out of the four year school, hav-ing “fun” at the expense of their grades, and often being fun-loving when you want to sleep. Yes, there are aspects of a four-year school that are wonderful, but

saving some money by going here will help your financial picture and give you the tools you may not have yet to figure out how to navigate successfully through college-level courses. Eventually, you can transfer and enjoy all the thrills and bills of that ex-perience!Signed,Dr. D.

Dear Dr. D, I have a bad habit, I bite my nails. I think it’s disgusting and I have tried to quit but I do it without realizing. I tend to bite in class or in the car. How can I make myself stop?Signed,No More Nails

Dear Biter,Why don’t you try putting small band aids on each nail? Then when you go to bite, you will be reminded not to do that. It might cost you something for a few weeks of band aids, but breaking the habit shouldn’t take longer than that. You’ve already done the hard part of deciding you want to quit, and this will help you remember your decision. Dr. D.

Dear Dr. D,I’m starting school full time, and I have a three year old son at home. He will be entering daycare for the first time, and we’re both anxious about the change. How can I calm his nerves and my own?Signed,Worried Mama

Dear Worried Mama,Congratulations on making the step to secure a better future for both of you! Have you taken him to the daycare yet? If not, you could go and visit for half an hour so he could see the environ-ment, meet the teachers, see the cool stuff they have there, and see some of the children who will be his friends. There’s nothing wrong with being anxious. It just means you (and he) are brave! Brave means doing some-thing you’re afraid to do and doing it anyway. After your first day, share with each other the best part, the funniest people, etc., and let him know you and he are doing something for the first time together! Yay for Mama and son!Dr. D.

Dr. Destiny

Layout DesignLinda Helton Brandon Smith

Sports WriterDakota Roberts

BRUIN Staff

Editorial Policy The KCC Bruin is a free student publication produced monthly by Kellogg Community College students during the fall and spring semesters. The KCC Bruin welcomes letters to the editor from members of the College and the community. Letters must be signed and submitted with a current telephone number or email address. All letters become property of the Bruin and may be edited for clarity and length. By-lined opinion columns represent the opinion of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Bruin staff or the College. Letters may be submitted by mail to: KCC Bruin student newspaper, c/o Kellogg Community College, 450 North Ave., Battle Creek, Mich. 49017. Letters may also be submitted at all three KCC sites. At the Battle Creek site, letters may be dropped off in the English Department on the 4th floor of the C Building; the College Life Office in the Student Center; or the student newspaper office. At the Grahl and Fehsenfeld Centers, letters may be submitted at the information desks. The Bruin office is located in room 302 of the Roll Building. The staff can be reached at (269) 965-3931, Ext. 2630 or e-mail the Bruin editor at bruin@kellogg.edu

Co-EditorsLacy Janousek Tiffany Thatcher

Managing AdvisorTaNisha Parker

Editorial AdvisorElizabeth Kerlikowske

Graphics AdvisorKathryn Jarvie

Staff Writers

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September 2013 5CAMPUS NEWS

Vocal Arts Events for September

KCC Opera/Musical Theatre Workshop Auditions

Wednesday, Sept 114:30 - 6 pm

at the Davidson Visual and Performing Arts Center AuditoriumCall 269-565-7859 to reserve an audition time Accompanist is available

upon request (open to all students/community members)

Music Week @ KCC

KCC Music Open HouseBe a Music Major for a day or two!

Monday, Sept 310:30 am - 7 pm

Interested persons may sit in on any number of classes ranging from private lessons to performance ensembles. See available courses listed

below. Advanced registration is not required. Registration begins at 10 am in room 228 of the Davidson Visual and Performing Arts Center.

Course Offerings — Monday, Sept 23

MUSI 122 Piano "Open" lessonsLearn how to play in an hour!

D214, 10:30 - 11:20 am

MUSI 107 Voice ClassA beginning level voice course

D215, 11:30 am - 12:50 pm

MUSI 211 Music AppreciationLearn about the various genres of music

1:00 - 2:00 pm

MUSI 105 Kellogg SingersLearn about the art of choral singing

2:30 - 3:50 pm

MUSI 297 KCC Opera/Musical Theatre WorkshopLearn how to become a singing actor

4:30 - 6:50 pm

Course Offerings — Wednesday, Sept 25

MUSI Guitar "Open" LessonsLearn to play in an hour!

D217 10:30 - 11:20 am

MUSI 107 Voice Class D215A beginning level voice course

11:30 am - 12:50 pm

Studio Master ClassLearn about the various musical opportunities at KCC

1:00 - 2:00 pm

MUSI 105 Kellogg SingersLearn about the art of choral singing

2:30 - 3:50 pm

MUSI 211 Music Appreciation Learn about the various genres of music

6:00 - 7:00 pm

Bruin BeatSeptember

11 Opera Workshop Auditions DavidsonCenterAuditorium•4:30–6:00pm 10 Transfer Student Information Table: University of Michigan, Flint CentralWalkway•10:00am–3:00pm 11 KCC Women’s Soccer vs Indiana Tech KCCSoccerField•4:00pm 11 Bruin Blast ReflectingPools•10:30am–2:30pm 12 Transfer Student Information Table: WMU College of Education CentralWalkway•9:00am–12:00pm 16 Transfer Student Information Table: Davenport University CentralWalkway•11:00am–1:00pm 16 Academic Workshop: Preventing Procrastination LRCSpringLakeRoom•2:00–3:00pm 18 Transfer Student Information Table: WMU College of Education CentralWalkway•1:00–4:00pm 17 Constitution Day StudentCenter•2:00–3:30pm 17 KCC Women’s Volleyball vs Lansing MillerGym•6:30pm 17 Service Learning: Get the Scoop C302•12:00–12:30pm 18 Service Learning: Get the Scoop C302•2:30–1:00pm 18 Transfer Student Information Table: WMU College of Education CentralWalkway•1:00–4:00pm 18 Academic Workshop: Student Success LRCSpringLakeRoom•1:00–2:00pm 18 Transfer Student Information Table: WMU Haworth College of Business CentralWalkway•10:00am–12:00pm 22 KCC Women’s Soccer vs Delta KCCSoccerField•1:00pm 23 & 25 Music Week Open House DavidsonCenterAuditorium•4:00–6:00pm 24 KCC Women’s Volleyball vs Jackson MillerGym 6:30pm 24 Academic Workshop: Resume Writing OITC08•3:00–3:50pm 24 Service Learning: Get the Scoop KelloggRoom•5:30–5:55pm 24 Welcome Event: Fehsenfeld Center HastingsCampus•4:30pm–6:00pm 25 KCC Women’s Soccer vs Schoolcraft KCCSoccerField•4:00pm 25 Welcome Event: Eastern Academic Center AlbionCampus•4:30–6:00pm 26 Welcome Event: Regional Manufacturing Technology Center HillBradyRoad•12:00–2:00pm 26 Academic Workshop: Digital Backpack OITC08•2:00–3:00pm 26 Welcome Event: Grahl ColdwaterCampus•4:30–6:00pm 27 Bruins Give Back 9:00am–12:00pm

Open House10am to 7pm Monday, Sept. 23, Wednesday, Sept. 25.

Davidson Visual andPerforming Arts Center

MUSIC WEEKMUSIC MAJOR FOR A DAY

@KCC

For Information, please contact Dr. Gerald Blanchard at blanchardg@kellogg.edu

Advanced registration is not required

September 2013 fEAtUrE

Kelly Frost Librarian

The library would like to welcome all of you returning to or just starting your journey at Kellogg Community College. Whether you visit us physically on the main campus or virtually through one of many channels, we are ready to help with your information needs. On the main campus we are located across from the reflecting pool. We are sometimes called the LRC or Learning Resource Center. On site, we have over 100 computers available for student use, and with a current KCC ID, you can check out a laptop or iPad to use anywhere in the library. Come take ad-vantage of our comfy seating on the first level, our study carrels on the second, and our private study rooms on the third (main) level of the library. Of course, we also have tons of books, magazines, CDs, and DVDs, all available for check-out with a valid ID. In addition to the items available physically in the library, many of our resources are available to all students, faculty, and staff anywhere you have a connection to the internet. The library subscribes to over 60 databases, which means you can access thousands of high-quality articles from magazines, news-papers, and scholarly peer-reviewed journals. We even have a substantial col-lection of eBooks, which you can view online or download onto almost any de-

vice. The wealth of our “virtual library” can be accessed through the search box on the library homepage www.kellogg.edu/library OR by entering into a da-tabase directly through the Articles or Books & More link. Because we librarians realize that sometimes it can be tricky to find just the right database or sources, we’ve gathered our best databases, combined them with video tutorials, and created Research Guides for most of the subjects taught in classes at KCC. You can access these guides through the library’s main page or http://guides.kellogg.edu. You can also connect with the library’s channel on YouTube (www.youtube.com/user/KCCsLibrary), or follow us on FaceBook (www.facebook.com/KelloggCommu-nityCollegeLibrary) or Twitter (@KC-

CLibrary). On the “Research Guides, the li-brary website, and even some class Moo-dle pages, you might notice a box labeled “Research Help Now!” This is another great way for you to get assistance from your library by contacting a live librar-ian 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It won’t always be someone from KCC’s library “behind the box,” but the librarians re-sponding to your requests are always more than happy to help you out. Naturally, we also love to help out in person, and you’ll find a librarian behind the Information Desk anytime the library is open if you want to drop in. You can also call, 269-965-4122, or email refdesk@kellogg.edu, with your questions. Answer-ing questions and finding answers is what we love to do. So ask away!

Warm welcomes from the librarylibrary@KCCU2R

LibraryHours

7:45 am - 9:00 pmMonday

7:45 am - 9:00 pmTuesday

7:45 am - 9:00 pmWednesday

7:45 am - 9:00 pmThursday

7:45 am - 9:00 pmFriday

11:00 am - 3:00 pmSaturday

A student browses in the library photo by Simon Thalmann

Paintings and mixed media works by Donald W. VanAukenat the Eleanor R. and Robert A. DeVries Gallery

Davidson Visual & Performing Arts Center

Sept. 9-Oct. 4

Opening Reception: Sept.11, 4-6 pm

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September 2013oPiNioN 7

Bathroom bylaws

Tiffany Thatcher Co-Editor

Ladies, as much as I hate to do this, it has to be done. To quote the Charmin com-mercial, “It’s time to get real about what happens in the bathroom.” I know I may be scaring a few of the male readers away, but I urge you to read on. You’ve been asking your girlfriend, sister, mother, or wife for years, “What takes you so long in there?” Here is your answer. Enter-ing a public bathroom nowadays is akin to walking through a mine field. A mine field littered with used tampons. Okay, that may be pushing it, but you get where I’m going here. If you frequent public re-strooms, you may have been witness to some of the following atrocities. We are all aware of the term hover-ing. For the male readers or the clueless women, it refers to the act of perching just above the toilet and peeing. This is actually a fairly sanitary practice if you are afraid of putting your cheeks on the seat, but last I heard there were no dis-eases that can be passed from one butt to another through a toilet seat. Either way you prefer to pee is your business. I’m not going to judge you if you are cheek planter or a hoverer. My complaint is to the women that hover but lack good aim. You know what I’m talking about. You run into the restroom between classes for a thirty second pee and enter the stall to find a seat coated in urine droplets. Thus making your quick bathroom break that much longer because you either need to find a clean stall or clean up some-one else’s mess. If you choose to hover, then you must clean up any over-spray or work on your depth perception. There are the women that feel the need to make a nest before they use the

bathroom. They don’t just use a toilet seat liner. They also feel the need to layer toilet paper over every available surface in the stall. The bigger problem is that they then abandon their nests when they are finished. The thought is sweet, but I do not want to go near your toilet paper nest unless I’m wearing a Hazmat suit. These women must consider their hei-nies to be gifts from God and thus remain pure and germ free. Don’t get me wrong! I too am a germa-phobe who religiously washes her hands and avoids touching the door handle when exiting the bath-room. But, if your trip to the bathroom requires a building permit, then you may have a problem. Speaking of hand washing, there is not nearly enough of it going on. I can-not go a day without witnessing a woman walk out of the bathroom stall, complete-ly bypass the sink, and continue on her way out the door, leaving a trail of feces and urine in her wake. She then usually ends up being in line in front me at the cafeteria, where she feels the need to han-dle all of the items before deciding on a purchase. Yum!?! Let’s continue on our journey and talk about what is then done with those cafeteria purchases. As ladies we are all well aware of the small trash cans located in each stall. Do we really need to discuss what these are for? In the rare case that we may still have a guy reader, I will explain: those little trash cans are intended for the disposal of women’s sanitary products, AKA used tampons and pads. Now that we are all on the same page, let’s discuss, how many times have you stepped into the stall to view not only an open trash re-ceptacle but one that is overflowing with empty chip bags and water bottles? Who walks into a bathroom stall and thinks this would be a good place for a snack? Ok, maybe I’m thinking about this from the wrong angle. Could this somehow be related to a medical condition? If the

evacuation of your bowels renders you dehydrated and or requiring nutrients, then I apologize. If not, then throw your food trash in the can outside the stall. I don’t want to think about you eating your Sun Chips while you poo. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve walked into the public bathroom and overheard a woman on her cell phone. I’m not talking about fixing her hair in

the mirror and talking. I’m saying from deep inside the stall I can hear her having a conversation while she is taking care of business. Who the heck are these women talking to? Whoever they are, they have be very forgiving/accepting to ignore the bathroom “noises” in the background. I mean really, how do you explain away a toilet flush or an errant fart? And it may not even be your fart! You are in a pub-lic bathroom and as stated above a lot of crap goes down in there. Maybe I’m old school when I say; though perfectly ac-ceptable to talk on the phone on the toi-let in your own home it is not ok to do it in a public bathroom. I am a big proponent of feminism and equality, but I do not think that translates to the bathroom. We can be as gross as our male counterparts if need-ed, but we do not have to spread feces on the wall in a doo-doo Davinci just to get equal rights. I don’t think I should feel like I need to take a shower after tak-ing a pee. So, I’m asking, no, I’m begging you, ladies, let’s work together and keep it clean!

Women's restroom:Enter at your own risk. photo by Tiffany Thatcher

THE KCC DAILYKellogg Community College's news blogwww.kellogg.edu/daily

September 2013 SPortS

Dakota's college football top ten

Dakota Roberts Sports Writer

Alabama-the Crimson Tide will enter the 2013 season, searching for their third straight National

Championship. There is no question that head coach Nick Saban will assemble a championship caliber team.

Stanford-the defending Rose Bowl game champions will be

looking for more than just roses this year. The Cardinal will be making a National Championship run in 2013.

Georgia-Since last year’s near win over Alabama in the SEC Championship game, I have

been in love with the Bulldogs odds in 2013. The Bulldogs are returning several starters including Quarterback Aaron Murray. If the Bulldogs can get through the Crimson Tide, they are my National Champions.

Ohio State-After a perfect 12-0 season, the Buckeyes will be the odds on favorite to take the

Big Ten. Urban Meyer is entering his second season as head coach and has welcomed in some talented recruits.

South Carolina-Georgia’s toughest competition in the SEC East will be the Gamecocks. Jadeveon Clowney

will lead the dominating defense. South Carolina’s Defense is strong enough to win the SEC. If the Gamecocks can win

the SEC it’s very likely they’ll contend for the National Championship.

Louisville-After winning last year’s Sugar Bowl in impressive fashion, the basketball driven

university will return a talented football team. The Cardinals have a high-octane offense that can put up points similar to their basketball team.

Florida-the Gators I have as the fourth SEC team in my top 7. I would have the Gators as six,

but after getting throttled by Louisville in the Sugar Bowl, I decided to slide the Cardinals in front.

Clemson-the first ACC team in my rankings are the Tigers of

Clemson. I also feel a possible Heisman Trophy candidate in Quarterback Tajh Boyd. Boyd is a returning starter and will make ACC defenses second guess themselves.

LSU-Many sports writers have overlooked the Tigers, but Les Miles has a knack for winning

ball games. The Tigers have endured off-season controversy surrounding their leading rusher from a season ago, but I believe when it’s time to play football LSU does it better than anyone.

Oregon-same faces occupy the same places on the field, but after the departure of head

coach Chip Kelly, I feel it’s going to be tough to get back on top. Positions on the field are easier to replace than on the sidelines.~Dakota Roberts is stoked that football season is finally here!

KELLOGG COMMUNITY COLLEGE

2013WOMENS SOCCER

Date Opponent Site TimeSEPT. 11 INDIANA TECH (H) 4:00 pm 14 *Muskegon CC (A) 1:00 PM 22 *DELTA COLLEgE (H) 1:00 pm 25 *SCHOOLCRAFT CC (H) 4:00 PM 29 *Cinicinnati State T & CC (A) 2:00 pm OCT. 2 *Jackson Community College (A) 4:00 pm 6 *Delta CC (A) 1:00 pm 9 *Schoolcraft CC (A) 4:00 pm 12 *OWENS CC (H) 1:00 pm 19 *MUSKEgON CC (H) 1:00 PM 23 *Lake Michigan College (A) 4:00 pmNOV. 2-3 Region Tournament (A) TBA

HEAD COACH: BARTH BEASLEY *indicates league games

KELLOGG COMMUNITY COLLEGE

2013VOLLEYBALL

Date Opponent Site TimeSEPT. 10 *Lansing CC (A) 6:30 pm 11-12 Southeastern Tournament (A) TBA 15 *MUSKEgON CC (H) 6:30 pm 17 *Jackson CC (A) 6:30 pm 22 *ANCILLA COLLEgE (H) 6:30 pm 24 *Grand Rapids CC (A) 6:30 pmNOV. 1-3 Region Tournament (A) TBA

HEAD COACH: AMY JULIEN *indicates league games

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