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Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

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7 Habits SkillCards
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SKILL CARDS
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Page 1: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

SKILL CARDS

Page 2: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

© FranklinCovey. LEA131355 Version 1.2.4

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Your client schedules an important meeting that conflicts with a personal

commitment you’ve made.

SITUATION 1

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© FranklinCovey.

• There might be a way to do both.

• Let me explore all of my options.

• I choose to reschedule my personal commitment/ the client meeting.

Reactive Language:• Now I have to cancel my plans.

• This client makes me so angry! I always have to reschedule things for them.

Proactive Language

Page 5: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Someone important to you accuses you of

taking him or her for granted. He or she tells you that

you don’t say thank you enough.

SITUATION 2

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© FranklinCovey.

• I’m sorry. I really do appreciate everything you do.

• You’re probably right. I will say thank you more often.

• I’m sorry. How could I better express my appreciation for all you do?

Reactive Language:• That’s not true! I always say

thank you.

• I can’t help it. It’s just not my style to say thank you.

• It’s not my fault you need to hear thank you so much.

Proactive Language

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Your boss blames you for a report your

co-workers are responsible for.

SITUATION 3

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© FranklinCovey.

• I’m sorry. I think there’s been a miscommunication with my team. Let me investigate and I’ll get back to you.

• Let me get the team that wrote the report together so that we can address the problems.

• If you have a minute to show me the problems with the report, I will communicate them to the team that is responsible for it.

Reactive Language:• It’s not my fault! Go talk to Jim.

• I can’t do anything about it. I didn’t write that report.

• I always get blamed for everyone else’s mistakes.

Proactive Language

Page 9: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Your boss just added three more deliverables

but won’t increase your resources.

SITUATION 4

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© FranklinCovey.

• Let’s look at all our options to meet those deliverables.

• What resources do I have that I haven’t thought of?

• Let’s find ways to make this work rather than all the reasons we can’t.

Reactive Language:• There’s no way. I can’t do it.

• You always expect me to do more with less!

• Now I have to work even harder.

Proactive Language

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You’re meeting a friend for lunch and she or he

is 20 minutes late... again. You are on a very tight

schedule and are becoming increasingly annoyed.

SITUATION 5

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© FranklinCovey.

• I’ll order lunch for us and will take mine with me so I can spend some time with you.

• (You call your friend and say) What would you like for lunch? I’ll order yours so it’s here when you arrive.

• Let’s spend 10 minutes together before I head back to work.

Reactive Language:• You’re always late, and now I have

to rush my lunch!

• Now I don’t have time to eat because you are late.

• I have to skip lunch now.

Proactive Language

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You are working with a co-worker on a project due at the end of the day.

You quickly realize he or she has not done the pre-work

necessary to complete the project on time.

SITUATION 6

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© FranklinCovey.

• I’m concerned that this won’t get done by the end of the day. Let’s look at our options to get the information we need.

• Let’s focus on how this happened later. For now, let’s see how we can get this completed on time.

Reactive Language:• We’re going to miss our deadline

and it’s all your fault.

• You always do this! You are so irresponsible.

• There’s nothing we can do. There’s no way we can make it.

Proactive Language

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You are stuck in traffic due to road construction. Because of this, you are going to be late for an

important meeting.

SITUATION 7

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© FranklinCovey.

• Next time, I will check the traffic report and leave earlier.

• I can take this time to mentally prepare for the meeting.

• I can call ahead to see what other arrangements we can make.

Reactive Language:• Everything bad always happens

to me!

• It’s not my fault. I didn’t know about the construction.

• I am such a loser!

Proactive Language

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After rearranging your meetings and taking transit across town, you

arrive at the dentist’s office to find they don’t have

your appointment in their schedule book.

SITUATION 8

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© FranklinCovey.

• I am confident we can work this out.

• Let’s look at all our options. How could the dentist fit me in?

• Here’s what I think we could do.

Reactive Language:• It’s not my fault you can’t keep your

appointments straight.

• I have so much to do and I had to rearrange my whole schedule to get here.

• You are really frustrating me!

Proactive Language

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YOUR SITUATION 1

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Proactive Language

Reactive Language:

© FranklinCovey.

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YOUR SITUATION 2

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Proactive Language

Reactive Language:

© FranklinCovey.

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My colleague repeatedly takes credit for my work.

(Emotion: Irritation)

SITUATION 1

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • Sounds like you’re irritated.

WORDS • Your co-worker is taking credit

for your work.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • What I’m hearing is that your

co-worker takes credit for your work and that upsets you.

Empathic Responses

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I’m overwhelmed by the amount of work my

boss is giving me.(Emotion: Frustration)

SITUATION 2

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You sound frustrated.

WORDS • You’re overwhelmed by the

amount of work your boss gives you.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You feel frustrated about the

amount of work you have.

Empathic Responses

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My brother-in-law ruins every family get-together.

(Emotion: Frustration)

SITUATION 3

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You seem frustrated.

WORDS • You’re saying that your

brother-in-law ruins every family get-together.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You feel frustrated about your

brother-in-law’s behavior.

Empathic Responses

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I just lost my job.(Emotion: Worry)

SITUATION 4

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You sound really worried.

WORDS • You lost your job.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You sound really concerned

about losing your job.

Empathic Responses

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It’s a waste of time to do these reports; nobody

even reads them!(Emotion: Annoyed)

SITUATION 5

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You sound annoyed.

WORDS • You’re creating reports

nobody reads.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You feel annoyed that you are

spending time on reports nobody reads.

Empathic Responses

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I made a mistake and my supervisor reprimanded me in front of the whole team!

(Emotion: Embarrassment)

SITUATION 6

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • Sounds like you

were embarrassed.

WORDS • Your supervisor reprimanded

you in front of your team.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You’re embarrassed that your

supervisor reprimanded you in front of your whole team.

Empathic Responses

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I think my colleague may be stealing from the company.

(Emotion: Concern)

SITUATION 7

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You sound very concerned.

WORDS • You think your colleague is

stealing from the company.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You’re concerned that your

colleague is stealing from the company.

Empathic Responses

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I just got promoted to team leader.

(Emotions: Hesitation and concern)

SITUATION 8

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© FranklinCovey.

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS • You sound a little hesitant

and concerned.

WORDS • You just got promoted to

team leader.

FEELINGS AND WORDS • You have mixed feelings

about being promoted to team leader.

Empathic Responses

Page 39: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

YOUR SITUATION 1

Page 40: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS

WORDS

FEELINGS AND WORDS

Empathic Responses

© FranklinCovey.

Page 41: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

YOUR SITUATION 2

Page 42: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

(Reflect feelings and words.)

FEELINGS

WORDS

FEELINGS AND WORDS

Empathic Responses

© FranklinCovey.

Page 43: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Empathic Response: You sound defeated by the feedback you got on your presentation.

Speaker: Yeah.

I got some really tough feedback on a presentation

I gave last week.(Emotion: Defeated)

SITUATION 1

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say you got tough feedback, what do you mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 45: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

We just decided to make a big investment in this

project, and I think it’s a bad decision. (Emotion: Concern)

SITUATION 2

Empathic Response: You sound concerned about the decision to invest in this project.

Speaker: I am.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say you think it’s a bad decision, what do you mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 47: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

I’m having such a hard time with my family.

(Emotion: Worry)

SITUATION 3

Empathic Response: You’re concerned because you’re having a hard time with your family.

Speaker: Yeah.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say you’re having a hard time, what do you mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 49: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

None of the staff know how to use the database. We

need to do more training! (Emotion: Frustration)

SITUATION 4

Empathic Response: You sound frustrated that none of the staff know how to use the database.

Speaker: I am.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say none of the staff know how to use the database, what do you mean?

• When you say we need to do more training, what does that look like?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 51: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

My daughter has been skipping school. I’m

so angry with her! (Emotion: Anger)

SITUATION 5

Empathic Response: You’re angry that your daughter’s been skipping school.

Speaker: I am.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say she’s been skipping school, what do you mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 53: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

I think we’re going to lose money on this deal, but

Sales is running with it. (Emotion: Concern)

SITUATION 6

Empathic Response: You seem worried that Sales is running with this deal and you think we’ll lose money on it.

Speaker: Yeah.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say you think we’ll lose money on this deal, what do you mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

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The customers are all mad at us, but no one

seems to care. (Emotion: Defeat)

SITUATION 7

Empathic Response: No one seems to care that the customers are mad at us.

Speaker: Yeah.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say no one seems to care, what does that mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

• When you say the customers are all mad at us, what do you mean?

Page 57: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

I’m really concerned that our Marketing team

is not connected to our Sales force.

(Emotion: Worry)

SITUATION 8

Empathic Response: You sound concerned that Marketing and Sales aren’t connected.

Speaker: Yeah.

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© FranklinCovey.

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

• When you say the Marketing team isn’t connected to the Sales force, what does that mean?

• Can you tell me more about that?

Page 59: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

__________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

(Emotion: ______________)

YOUR SITUATION 1

Empathic Response: You feel about .

Speaker: Yeah.

Page 60: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

?

?

• Can you tell me more about that?

© FranklinCovey.

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YOUR SITUATION 2

__________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

(Emotion: ______________)

Empathic Response: You feel about .

Speaker: Yeah.

Page 62: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Clarifying Questions

(Stay with the subject the speaker brought into the conversation.)

?

?

• Can you tell me more about that?

© FranklinCovey.

Page 63: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

You are working with a client who consistently has unclear and changing expectations and then is

dissatisfied with your work. You’ve just worked

through the weekend to create a presentation

for them, only to find they had something else in mind.

You’re quite frustrated and worried this reflects

poorly on you.

Client: That’s not what I thought you’d come up with at all. I was hoping for something different.

SITUATION 1

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You’re disappointed because you expected something different.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I’m sorry you are disappointed.

I’d like to take a minute to review my understanding of your expectations for this project. Could we do that?

• I feel confused, because I thought I understood your expectations for this project. I have a different point of view I’d like to share. May I?

Page 65: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

You’ve organized the office party the past three years

and it’s a lot of work. You’re extremely busy with year-end

reports and would prefer not to do it again.

Boss: I’ve put you in charge of the office party again this year.

SITUATION 2

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You’d like me to be in charge of the party again this year.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I feel concerned about being

assigned the party again with the year-end reports due. I’d prefer not to be in charge again this year.

• Thank you for your confidence in me. The party is a lot of work, and based on my experience, it will interfere with the timely submission of the year-end reports. I think it would be best if you assigned it to someone else.

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A conversation is important to you, but

every time you begin to state your point of view,

you are interrupted.

Team member, interrupting: Yes, yes, I know. Here’s what I think we should do...

SITUATION 3

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:I can tell you’re very excited about your idea.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • Before we go there, could

I finish my thought?

• I really appreciate your enthusiasm. Would you be willing to listen to my idea?

Page 69: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Every time you try to introduce new ideas about how to structure work flow,

you encounter a lot of resistance. This has been going on for some time

now, and you are reaching your limit!

Team members: But we’ve always done it this way.

SITUATION 4

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You are satisfied with the way we do it now.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I’m disappointed with the

resistance I feel each time I share this idea. I believe we could significantly improve these processes. Would you be willing to hear me out before responding?

• I understand your point of view. I’d like to share mine too. Will that work for you?

Page 71: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

One of the managers in your company often pushes for cost-cutting

measures, even when the project plans are within budget. You’ve got all

the research to show that the full-service option is both within budget and what the client wants, but you

feel like the manager isn’t listening to you.

Manager: I think the full-service option isn’t worth the cost. Let’s go with the standard version for this client instead.

SITUATION 5

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You’re concerned about cost.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I’m concerned we haven’t fully

discussed the justification for the full-service option. Before we make a decision, may I share my point of view?

• Would you be willing to hear my recommendation before coming to a decision? The full-service option pays for itself within a year, and the client wants it. I think it would be a mistake not to use it.

Page 73: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

One of your co-workers tends to gossip and thinks everyone agrees with him. This promotes a negative

and reactive work environment. You’ve just

completed The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and are

practicing being proactive. You’d like to be a

Transition Person and break the negative pattern.

Co-worker: I’m so tired of how everyone is treated differently here. It’s not fair! Did you hear about...?

SITUATION 6

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You think how people are treated here is unfair.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I can see what you mean when

you say it feels unfair. I have a different point of view I’d like to share.

• I want to understand your point of view, even if I don’t share it. Would you be willing to hear my thoughts too?

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Your department has been understaffed for nearly

a year, and your manager puts you off whenever you petition for a new hire. The stress is

affecting your physical health, and you’re afraid some of

your employees are on the verge of quitting.

Manager: Let’s wait until next quarter to decide whether it’s time to bring someone else on the team. I’m just too swamped right now to go through a bunch of interviews.

SITUATION 7

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You’re overwhelmed and would like to wait another quarter before addressing the understaffing issue.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • I understand that interviews

take a lot of time. Would you be willing to hear me out before you make this decision?

• I appreciate your thoughts. Could I share my concerns about the impact the chronic understaffing is having?

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You’ve just completed your performance review,

and you’ve done really well for the second year in a row. You want to ask for a raise,

but you’re scared to advocate for yourself.

Supervisor: You’ve done a great job this year. Thanks for all you do.

SITUATION 8

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© FranklinCovey.

Empathic Response:You’re really pleased with my performance.

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: • Thank you for your confidence

in my performance. Based on my positive performance review, I’d like to discuss increasing my compensation.

• I’m honored that you are pleased with my work here. I would like to discuss my compensation package. Would you be willing to listen to my proposal?

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__________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

YOUR SITUATION 1

________________:

.

Page 80: Seven Habits - 7 Habits SkillCards

Empathic Response:You feel about .

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: •

© FranklinCovey.

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YOUR SITUATION 2

__________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________ __________________________

________________:

.

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Empathic Response:You feel about .

State Your Point of View Using “I” Messages: •

© FranklinCovey.

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© FranklinCovey.


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